All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E10 - It Was All A Dream WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,137 --> 00:00:12,793 - Baby, we are not about to do this right now. 2 00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:14,482 See, see. 3 00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:17,068 Remember what our therapist said in premarital counseling? 4 00:00:17,172 --> 00:00:18,758 Exactly, exactly. 5 00:00:18,862 --> 00:00:21,620 When we feel an argument brewing, what do we do? 6 00:00:21,724 --> 00:00:22,655 Uh-huh, uh-huh. 7 00:00:22,758 --> 00:00:25,068 We stop. We breathe. 8 00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:30,241 We take a break. And then later we reconvene. 9 00:00:30,344 --> 00:00:33,758 Okay, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to say good night. 10 00:00:33,862 --> 00:00:34,965 I love you. 11 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,000 And we will continue this conversation 12 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:37,655 when you get back in town tomorrow. 13 00:00:37,758 --> 00:00:40,689 Mm-hmm, bye-bye. Yeah. 14 00:00:41,862 --> 00:00:47,034 Oh my God! This woman is driving me crazy. 15 00:00:49,137 --> 00:00:52,172 - [loud knocking on door] - MAN: Police! Open up! 16 00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:54,689 - What the hell? - MAN: Please come to the door. 17 00:00:58,137 --> 00:01:02,413 - Long time, Shawty! Look at you! 18 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:05,379 My God. - Ronnie, what up? 19 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,172 - Cali Cal done grown up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 20 00:01:08,275 --> 00:01:10,344 - Okay, okay. What's up? 21 00:01:10,448 --> 00:01:13,931 - Man, Cal, you a whole dad out here for real. 22 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:16,827 - Give me that. - Cal, what is this? 23 00:01:16,931 --> 00:01:19,758 Is that an S-Curl? - Chill. 24 00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,137 - What are y'all doing here? 25 00:01:21,241 --> 00:01:23,068 And Pookie, I thought you were still locked up. 26 00:01:23,172 --> 00:01:24,758 - Early parole. - He snitched. 27 00:01:24,862 --> 00:01:26,413 - Oh, damn. - Snitchin'. 28 00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:27,896 - Listen, they had the wrong guy. 29 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:32,000 I got my whole life ahead of me now, but my Uncle Joe, 30 00:01:32,103 --> 00:01:33,827 he's going up yonder. 31 00:01:33,931 --> 00:01:35,620 Hashtag DeKalb County any day now. 32 00:01:35,724 --> 00:01:37,068 - I'm confused. 33 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:39,137 - It was his 80-year-old uncle's weed plants 34 00:01:39,241 --> 00:01:40,655 they found in the basement. - Yep. 35 00:01:40,758 --> 00:01:43,000 - So they just assumed Pookie here was guilty. 36 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,482 - Yep. 37 00:01:44,586 --> 00:01:46,000 - Oh, so you snitched on your 80-year-old uncle? 38 00:01:46,103 --> 00:01:47,137 - Pretty much. 39 00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,482 - No. Look, see now, 40 00:01:49,586 --> 00:01:53,137 that's the technical term depending on who you ask. 41 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:56,068 Hey look, real talk, Uncle Joe's Medicaid ran out. 42 00:01:56,172 --> 00:01:57,655 Gone, all right? 43 00:01:57,758 --> 00:02:00,206 And the senior living home he was in was way too expensive, 44 00:02:00,310 --> 00:02:02,551 so he was with trading places. 45 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,724 - Prison amenities are on fire nowadays. 46 00:02:04,827 --> 00:02:07,068 Just check the inmate's Pik-Pok accounts. 47 00:02:07,172 --> 00:02:08,827 - Lit! - Lit! 48 00:02:08,931 --> 00:02:10,103 - Look, look, look. 49 00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:12,275 Enough about how I fixed my situation. 50 00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:14,620 We're here to fix yours. - Wait. Say what? 51 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:22,655 - ♪ 52 00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:41,793 - So I got an anonymous call. - From the OG, C.J. 53 00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:43,172 - Dang, man. 54 00:02:43,275 --> 00:02:44,482 Why do you gotta say the man's name, Shawty? 55 00:02:44,586 --> 00:02:46,310 - Nah, I said OG. He's not OG. 56 00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:47,586 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 57 00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,103 So C.J. hit you up and said what? 58 00:02:49,206 --> 00:02:52,068 - He said that uh, you seemed a little stressed out lately. 59 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,620 - Got a lot of weight on your shoulders. 60 00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,241 - Yeah, and that you needed your friends to pull up 61 00:02:55,344 --> 00:02:58,482 on you some more. 62 00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,241 - Yeah, you know, pull up and take you out. 63 00:03:00,344 --> 00:03:02,724 You know, tonight we're gonna have some fun. 64 00:03:02,827 --> 00:03:03,862 Like old times. 65 00:03:03,965 --> 00:03:06,413 - Yeah, yeah. I don't know, guys. Mm-mm. 66 00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:07,931 - What you mean, you don't know? 67 00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:09,827 - Well, I'm a family man now. 68 00:03:09,931 --> 00:03:11,896 - [both laughing] 69 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,241 - Oh, that's funny? 70 00:03:13,344 --> 00:03:14,655 - Whoo! This fool act like he the only one 71 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:17,379 with kids and responsibilities. 72 00:03:17,482 --> 00:03:18,931 - No, um no. I'm just saying, guys. 73 00:03:19,034 --> 00:03:21,034 Every time we go out, I end up in trouble 74 00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:23,620 or all my rent money's spent on liquor, food and strippers. 75 00:03:23,724 --> 00:03:25,655 - Calvin, I got it covered. 76 00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:28,137 Look, it just so happens that the same spot I'm taking 77 00:03:28,241 --> 00:03:30,344 you to tonight is the spot I promote at. 78 00:03:30,448 --> 00:03:34,724 Tables and bottles on me! - Oh, bottles on you, huh? 79 00:03:34,827 --> 00:03:36,931 We're not talking Boone's Farm, right? 80 00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:39,275 - Man, I'm talkin' top shelf. 81 00:03:39,379 --> 00:03:42,034 - If you don't get off my couch-- 82 00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:44,206 My shit's expensive. 83 00:03:44,310 --> 00:03:46,241 Okay, well, Laura is out of town. 84 00:03:46,344 --> 00:03:47,896 - Yes. 85 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,689 - And I don't have my kids until tomorrow afternoon, so-- 86 00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:52,517 - So... 87 00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:54,896 - Ah, what the hell? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 88 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,172 Let's go! 89 00:03:56,275 --> 00:03:58,827 - Let's go! Let's go! 90 00:03:58,931 --> 00:04:02,206 - No, no, no, no, no. Hold it, hold it. 91 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,517 Whoa, Cal. Wait a minute. 92 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,551 You can't wear this, bruh. You can't... 93 00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,517 - Huh? This is fly. 94 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:08,862 - Listen, we got a dress code, playa. 95 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:10,448 You're gonna have to change everything. 96 00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,241 - Oh, ho, ho. Oh, y'all want that drip? 97 00:04:13,344 --> 00:04:14,827 - Yeah! - Yeah! 98 00:04:14,931 --> 00:04:15,965 That's the Cal I know. 99 00:04:16,068 --> 00:04:17,448 - Okay, okay. I'm gonna give 'em the drip. 100 00:04:17,551 --> 00:04:18,655 - Give 'em the drip. - Yeah. Okay. 101 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:21,275 I got you. - My suit on 'em. 102 00:04:21,379 --> 00:04:22,620 - They're thirsty. 103 00:04:22,724 --> 00:04:25,034 - Oh, well, then tonight I'm gonna let 'em sip. 104 00:04:25,137 --> 00:04:26,206 I'll be back. I'll be back. 105 00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:28,413 - Yes, sir. Ooh, they thirsty, huh? 106 00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:32,827 - Thirsty women, if you drippin' they be sippin'. 107 00:04:36,586 --> 00:04:40,103 - Aw, look at the two beautiful women in my life. 108 00:04:40,206 --> 00:04:42,482 Hey baby. Hello. 109 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:45,896 Peekaboo. Peekaboo. 110 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 She loves when I do that. 111 00:04:48,103 --> 00:04:50,931 Have I ever told you how sexy you look doing household duties? 112 00:04:53,103 --> 00:04:54,551 - Don't start with me, Malik. 113 00:04:54,655 --> 00:04:56,413 - You know, it's really crazy. 114 00:04:56,517 --> 00:04:57,862 Ever since we had Malisa, 115 00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,965 I've been having the most vivid dreams. 116 00:05:00,068 --> 00:05:02,379 I keep having this recurring one that you're beatin' me 117 00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:04,000 like I stole somethin'. 118 00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:05,517 I mean, it's really weird. 119 00:05:05,620 --> 00:05:07,551 I even have bruises up and down my arm. 120 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:10,034 - That's because I am. 121 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,103 - Why would you do that? 122 00:05:12,206 --> 00:05:13,379 - Because it's not fair, Malik. 123 00:05:13,482 --> 00:05:15,758 I'm the only one up feeding the baby. 124 00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:18,344 - Well, duh, if you haven't noticed I've been in the gym. 125 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,448 I don't have titties anymore. 126 00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,068 - You do have the energy from all your naps 127 00:05:22,172 --> 00:05:23,379 and good night's rest. 128 00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:24,758 - That is true. 129 00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:27,482 The nap that I just took was pretty fulfilling. 130 00:05:27,586 --> 00:05:28,896 - I'm serious, Malik. 131 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,551 There's a freezer full of brest milk. 132 00:05:31,655 --> 00:05:34,758 You could lighten the load by helping, but no. 133 00:05:34,862 --> 00:05:37,068 You're in a coma, dead to the world. 134 00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:38,724 - Okay, look. 135 00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:40,896 I didn't realize you felt that way, so I'll take more effort 136 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,379 to take over the night shift for you. 137 00:05:42,482 --> 00:05:43,758 - Yeah? - Yeah. 138 00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:46,241 Okay, good. 'Cause you're on. 139 00:05:46,344 --> 00:05:47,931 - What? 140 00:05:48,034 --> 00:05:51,586 - I'm about to take a good, hot bath and get a good night's rest 141 00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:53,862 because I haven't slept since the baby's been born. 142 00:05:53,965 --> 00:05:56,448 - Well, you said I was on. You mean now? 143 00:05:56,551 --> 00:06:01,379 - Yep, yep. Good night, playboy. 144 00:06:01,482 --> 00:06:04,793 - Y'all don't have a schedule for what y'all do at this hour? 145 00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:09,551 Um, oh shh, shh. It's okay. 146 00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:13,034 Peekaboo. Peekaboo. 147 00:06:13,137 --> 00:06:15,103 When she was down here you was all right. 148 00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:16,241 Lisa. 149 00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:21,103 - My house. - Yeah, it's your house. 150 00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:24,655 - My house... 151 00:06:26,275 --> 00:06:27,793 - Hey man, watch it, watch it! 152 00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:30,965 - I got him. Pick up your slack. 153 00:06:31,068 --> 00:06:35,344 - Hey, hey, hey, guys. I had a great time. 154 00:06:35,448 --> 00:06:37,000 - We can tell. - We can tell. 155 00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:39,413 - Man, that was fun. 156 00:06:39,517 --> 00:06:42,620 - Look, the night's over for you, champ, okay? 157 00:06:42,724 --> 00:06:45,034 We can take you to the room, throw you on the floor, 158 00:06:45,137 --> 00:06:46,482 or leave you on the couch? 159 00:06:46,586 --> 00:06:48,310 - Let's put him on the couch. - Man, why? 160 00:06:48,413 --> 00:06:50,172 - I'm gettin' the cramps. - That's nice, what is that? 161 00:06:50,275 --> 00:06:54,482 Is that velvet? Is it soft? 162 00:06:54,586 --> 00:06:56,827 - Oh, okay. 163 00:06:56,931 --> 00:07:00,068 - Grab him a water and some aspirin. 164 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,793 - Okay, I'm gonna leave this right here. 165 00:07:03,896 --> 00:07:05,931 All right, in case he's gonna need it. 166 00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:08,655 - Yeah, nah, he's definitely gonna need it. 167 00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:11,517 Nah, he was on everything tonight. 168 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:15,379 He was mixing brown. He was mixing green. 169 00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:18,689 He was mixing wine, beer, white. 170 00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:23,172 You've mixed more 'ish than Kenya Barris. 171 00:07:23,275 --> 00:07:26,172 That's why he look drunkish. 172 00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:30,551 - Gonish. - Foolish. 173 00:07:30,655 --> 00:07:32,689 - That was quick. Do you think he'll be all right? 174 00:07:32,793 --> 00:07:33,965 - Yeah, he'll be all right tonight, 175 00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:35,931 but tomorrow morning, not so much. 176 00:07:36,034 --> 00:07:38,275 He's gonna be throwing up everywhere. 177 00:07:38,379 --> 00:07:39,448 - Okay. Right? 178 00:07:39,551 --> 00:07:41,103 - Right. - Hey Cal, 179 00:07:41,206 --> 00:07:43,931 what happened to the bald headed chick with the toenails? 180 00:07:44,034 --> 00:07:47,379 - Doesn't that go with a pager? - Yeah, she was old as hell. 181 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:50,137 She had a tattoo that said, Bingo. 182 00:07:50,241 --> 00:07:51,931 - Hey, but that's my type. 183 00:07:57,034 --> 00:08:01,586 - All right, Cal. My man. Stay busy. 184 00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,620 - Yeah. Aim true. 185 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:10,482 - [door shuts] - Psych. 186 00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:13,310 The night's over with when I say it's over. 187 00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:17,068 Where my phone at? 188 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,896 There it go. There it go. 189 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:28,344 Hey you, 190 00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:32,827 where you at, 191 00:08:32,931 --> 00:08:35,586 Boo? 192 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:38,724 - [knocking on door] - Eureka. 193 00:08:38,827 --> 00:08:40,793 That was fast. 194 00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:54,103 Hey, chocolate. - Hey, daddy. 195 00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:55,655 - Daddy? 196 00:08:55,758 --> 00:08:58,827 - You are lucky that Amber was able to come over 197 00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,793 and watch Christian. 198 00:09:00,896 --> 00:09:05,551 Oh, all of these text messages. Did you mean all of that? 199 00:09:05,655 --> 00:09:07,275 You were being bad. 200 00:09:07,379 --> 00:09:10,068 - Rowr, rawr... 201 00:09:10,172 --> 00:09:11,724 - Of course you didn't mean it. 202 00:09:11,827 --> 00:09:13,689 Calvin, you're drunk. - Okay, okay, okay. 203 00:09:13,793 --> 00:09:16,137 Wait, wait, wait, wait, since you came. 204 00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:21,551 Okay, I'm a little drunk. - Where's your phone? 205 00:09:21,655 --> 00:09:23,310 - My phone's right there. 206 00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:31,172 What are you doing with my phone? 207 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:35,724 - Stop. I'm deleting these text messages. 208 00:09:35,827 --> 00:09:38,517 If Laura sees these, you are in so much trouble. 209 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:40,344 You've been sexting me all night. 210 00:09:42,517 --> 00:09:45,551 - After all we've been through, you still looking out for me. 211 00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:47,965 - Calvin, I always look out for you. 212 00:09:48,068 --> 00:09:50,931 - Baby, stay, stay. I miss you. 213 00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:53,517 The truth comes to light 214 00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:56,448 when the liquor hits your lips at night. 215 00:09:56,551 --> 00:09:58,103 - What? 216 00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,344 - Ooh, you gonna spank me? Spank me. 217 00:10:00,448 --> 00:10:03,827 Spank me. Come on, girl. 218 00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,862 You came. You came to stay. 219 00:10:05,965 --> 00:10:07,206 Dance with me. Dance with me. 220 00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:08,551 - You are drunk, okay? 221 00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,931 And you're not in your right mind. 222 00:10:11,034 --> 00:10:14,275 Oh, wait, that's my ear. Not my ear... 223 00:10:14,379 --> 00:10:16,448 Oh. Are you sure? 224 00:10:27,206 --> 00:10:29,620 - What more do you want from me, baby? 225 00:10:29,724 --> 00:10:31,172 Come on. 226 00:10:31,275 --> 00:10:33,482 We changed your diaper. We checked your temperature. 227 00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:36,344 We rewrapped your swaddle. Come on. 228 00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:38,241 You gotta work with me 229 00:10:38,344 --> 00:10:40,310 You want some milk? Yeah, I know you do. 230 00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,758 We about to get you some. It's heating up right now. 231 00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:44,241 You've got to be patient, okay? 232 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:47,241 Look, this is what we're gonna do. 233 00:10:47,344 --> 00:10:48,862 Just take 10 seconds. 234 00:10:48,965 --> 00:10:52,724 We can both just relax, be quiet, okay? 235 00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:54,344 We can both close our eyes, okay? 236 00:10:54,448 --> 00:10:57,000 Just 10 seconds. 237 00:10:58,517 --> 00:10:59,965 - Malik! - Yeah, what's up? 238 00:11:00,068 --> 00:11:02,034 - What the hell is goin' on? Man, that baby's screaming. 239 00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:03,482 People trying to sleep in here. 240 00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:05,620 - I know. We were both just resting our eyes, okay? 241 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:07,310 - The baby is hungry. Where's Lisa? 242 00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:08,448 - She's upstairs. 243 00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:10,103 - Oh, I'm gonna go wake up your baby mama. 244 00:11:10,206 --> 00:11:12,310 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that, okay? 245 00:11:12,413 --> 00:11:15,172 Look, I have to prove to her that I can handle this. 246 00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:18,586 - Oh, I got it. This about the male ego. 247 00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:22,482 Well, he obviously ain't got it. 248 00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:24,862 - It's ready. There you go. 249 00:11:24,965 --> 00:11:27,310 Got your milk ready. That's what you want, right? 250 00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:30,275 - Pull it together. 251 00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:34,793 - Drink the milk, Anna-May! What the hell? 252 00:11:37,620 --> 00:11:40,172 Oh, let me try this. 253 00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:44,379 Oh, there you go, there you go. 254 00:11:44,482 --> 00:11:46,620 Hallelujah! 255 00:11:46,724 --> 00:11:49,379 This is ridiculous, but I don't know. It's working. 256 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:52,793 There you go. There you go. 257 00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,310 No, no, no. 258 00:11:55,413 --> 00:11:59,758 Here, I'll give you milk. It's okay. 259 00:11:59,862 --> 00:12:02,034 But why? Why are you still crying? 260 00:12:07,172 --> 00:12:09,827 - If you weren't my son, I'd kill you. 261 00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:11,931 - Dad, please, please, can you just help? 262 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:14,068 - Oh my God. Okay. 263 00:12:14,172 --> 00:12:16,344 Give me, give me. Give 'em here. 264 00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,241 Hold her head. Hold her head. 265 00:12:25,241 --> 00:12:28,931 Mm-hmm. - There you go. 266 00:12:33,137 --> 00:12:37,724 Oh, look at this. Pretty good at it. 267 00:12:37,827 --> 00:12:39,931 - It don't always take a woman's touch. 268 00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:42,896 Who do you think raised you? 269 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,482 And I'm glad to see that you've taken some 270 00:12:44,586 --> 00:12:46,344 of the load off of Lisa. 271 00:12:46,448 --> 00:12:48,482 You know and let her get some sleep. 272 00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:50,000 - Yeah, well, I mean, 273 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,379 it took a woman's touch too 'cause it sure isn't easy. 274 00:12:52,482 --> 00:12:54,137 - Yeah. Well, think how she feels 275 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:57,655 being a new mother. That's tough. 276 00:12:57,758 --> 00:12:59,137 And if you want to keep her happy, 277 00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:00,758 you'll keep putting in the effort. 278 00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:02,931 Trust me. It goes a long way. 279 00:13:03,034 --> 00:13:06,448 - You're right, dad. 280 00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:09,448 - Of course, I'm right. I'm your dad. 281 00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:10,931 I'm always right. 282 00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:16,206 And you know, maybe next time you want 283 00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:20,137 to pull an all-nighter, know what the hell you're doing 284 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:22,413 'cause I don't want to be included. 285 00:13:22,517 --> 00:13:25,275 - You know what, I got you. I got you, dad. 286 00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:26,413 - All right. - You know what? 287 00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:28,034 You actually got the magic touch, man. 288 00:13:28,137 --> 00:13:29,620 You're a pretty good grandpa. 289 00:13:29,724 --> 00:13:31,482 - A what? 290 00:13:31,586 --> 00:13:33,068 - Grandpa. 291 00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:36,000 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not gonna do that. 292 00:13:36,103 --> 00:13:37,689 - What you mean? It's who you are. 293 00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:39,965 - You see this youthful face? 294 00:13:40,068 --> 00:13:42,172 Papi, I prefer Papi. 295 00:13:42,275 --> 00:13:44,586 - Well, I ain't calling you that. 296 00:13:44,689 --> 00:13:47,379 - She gonna call me that. 297 00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,793 - Oh my God, no! 298 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,551 Ah, oh. 299 00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:57,620 How much did I drink last night? 300 00:13:57,724 --> 00:14:00,413 Miranda... 301 00:14:00,517 --> 00:14:01,758 Oh no, no, no. 302 00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:04,413 Please, please, please, please, please, please, no. 303 00:14:04,517 --> 00:14:06,172 You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that. 304 00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:08,655 You didn't do that. 305 00:14:08,758 --> 00:14:10,862 Oh my God, I smell, I smell like perfume. 306 00:14:10,965 --> 00:14:14,448 Uh, Miranda. Hey. 307 00:14:17,793 --> 00:14:20,793 You wouldn't happen to be in there, Miranda, now would you? 308 00:14:20,896 --> 00:14:23,034 Miranda! 309 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,137 That's so weird. I could have swore... 310 00:14:30,241 --> 00:14:32,896 Text messages. They'll be text messages. 311 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,344 If it was all a dream, 312 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:37,172 there won't be a text message telling her to come over. 313 00:14:37,275 --> 00:14:38,620 There's no text messages. 314 00:14:41,103 --> 00:14:43,724 Wow, that was just so-- Felt so real. 315 00:14:43,827 --> 00:14:46,655 And I liked it. Eww. 316 00:14:46,758 --> 00:14:48,137 - Good, you're still alive. 317 00:14:48,241 --> 00:14:49,482 - Bruh. - I didn't know. 318 00:14:49,586 --> 00:14:51,551 I had to come check on you after last night. 319 00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:53,344 You was wildin'. 320 00:14:53,448 --> 00:14:54,482 - Yeah, man. My memory's foggy. 321 00:14:54,586 --> 00:14:55,793 My head hurts. 322 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:58,310 Hey, hey, say man, about last night. 323 00:14:58,413 --> 00:15:01,655 - Yeah, Calvin, but if nobody saw it, it didn't happen. 324 00:15:01,758 --> 00:15:03,172 - What? So Miranda was here? 325 00:15:03,275 --> 00:15:05,793 - Miranda? I'm not talking about Miranda. 326 00:15:05,896 --> 00:15:10,275 I'm talking the fact that you threw up all over the section. 327 00:15:10,379 --> 00:15:12,275 Yes, you threw up on everybody. 328 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,620 The waitress, you threw up on the floor. 329 00:15:14,724 --> 00:15:16,413 The honey I was talking to, you threw up on her 330 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:17,931 and I still had to kiss her. 331 00:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,137 - Wait. I threw up in the section? 332 00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:24,172 - You was old school, early 2000, bottle in each hand, 333 00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:27,206 Dame Dash style, crip walking, throwing up. 334 00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:29,862 - Ugh, don't remind me. 335 00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:32,379 Oh, help yourself to something to drink. 336 00:15:32,482 --> 00:15:35,137 - Okay, I will. Thank you. 337 00:15:35,241 --> 00:15:37,793 - Stop! Not out of my bottle. 338 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:41,896 - Oh, but you can drink out of my bottle all night last night. 339 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,137 - Man, what are you doing? Wow. 340 00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:46,413 - It's like both of ours, 341 00:15:46,517 --> 00:15:47,931 we just keep it in your refrigerator. 342 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:51,310 - Okay, so look, last night, okay, so y'all brought me home. 343 00:15:51,413 --> 00:15:52,724 I fell asleep, nothing odd, right? 344 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,172 - Bruh, we brought you home. We laid you on the couch. 345 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:56,793 We made sure you was good. 346 00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:59,689 We gave you a little punk-ass teddy bear, then we bounced. 347 00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,724 - That's good, so it was all a nightmare. 348 00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:05,965 - Uh, not exactly. 349 00:16:06,068 --> 00:16:08,896 Uh, this part right here was real. 350 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,310 You gotta pay your tab. - Damn! 351 00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,862 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. You said bottles on you. 352 00:16:14,965 --> 00:16:16,827 - No, no, no, no. 353 00:16:16,931 --> 00:16:19,689 I said bottle on me. One bottle. 354 00:16:19,793 --> 00:16:22,793 - Oh, I'm the promote-- Oh, I'm the promoter. 355 00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:25,586 Bottles on me. Bottles on me. 356 00:16:25,689 --> 00:16:26,827 - No, no, no, no. 357 00:16:26,931 --> 00:16:28,448 First of all, I said I used to promote there. 358 00:16:28,551 --> 00:16:29,724 All right? 359 00:16:29,827 --> 00:16:33,586 And I said one bottle on me. Cal, you insisted. 360 00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:36,275 You had like six bottles. - But you said bottles on you. 361 00:16:36,379 --> 00:16:37,551 - I don't promote there no more, Cal. 362 00:16:37,655 --> 00:16:39,413 You drank a lot. Your memory's bad. 363 00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:41,965 You need help. - Y'all asked me to go out. 364 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,965 - I didn't even want to go out, Cal. 365 00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:46,103 - Wow. - Now, listen, listen. 366 00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:49,310 Just cash at me the $2,000 and I'll pay it. 367 00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:53,862 - Man, here. Bye-bye. 368 00:16:53,965 --> 00:16:56,620 Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Take the apple juice, bruh. 369 00:16:56,724 --> 00:16:59,379 - Oh yeah. - No, no, no, no, no, no. 370 00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:01,620 Where are you going? The door's right there. 371 00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:04,137 - You're different, Cal. You've changed. 372 00:17:04,241 --> 00:17:05,896 First the bald-headed chick, now this. 373 00:17:11,137 --> 00:17:12,724 - Good morning. 374 00:17:12,827 --> 00:17:14,896 Wow, that was a good night's rest. 375 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,620 Hey, babe. 376 00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:20,931 - Well, I hope so. It's close to 1:00 PM. 377 00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:22,551 - So? How was last night? 378 00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:26,103 - Uh, last night, um, yeah. 379 00:17:26,206 --> 00:17:29,172 About it, it was easy breezy. 380 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:34,448 - The devil is a lie. - Dad. 381 00:17:34,551 --> 00:17:36,379 - Easy breezy? - It was easy breezy. 382 00:17:36,482 --> 00:17:37,793 - Easy-- Really? 383 00:17:37,896 --> 00:17:41,482 - Easy breezy. 384 00:17:41,586 --> 00:17:46,482 - Wow. I'm happy to hear it went so well. 385 00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:51,034 - Yeah, me and Malisa, we had a good ole time. 386 00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:54,689 - See? That's how couples get theyselves in trouble. 387 00:17:54,793 --> 00:17:57,068 They tell one, itty-bitty, white lie 388 00:17:57,172 --> 00:18:01,275 and it turn into a big, ole ugly lie. 389 00:18:01,379 --> 00:18:04,034 - Dad, don't you have somewhere you need to be? 390 00:18:04,137 --> 00:18:06,586 - Who me? 391 00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:12,241 Yeah. I had somewhere to be last night, in my bed. 392 00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:14,241 For some reason that didn't work out, 393 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:19,965 so now I'm going upstairs and get me some sleep. 394 00:18:20,068 --> 00:18:22,862 Easy breezy. 395 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,896 'Cause if y'all was by y'all's selves, y'all be in trouble. 396 00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:30,068 - Whew. 397 00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:33,103 - So since everything was easy breezy, 398 00:18:33,206 --> 00:18:35,413 you don't mind taking the night shift every night, right? 399 00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:38,241 I mean, my strip club day's over. 400 00:18:38,344 --> 00:18:41,379 - Look, if anything last night taught me is that 401 00:18:41,482 --> 00:18:44,172 I can't expect for you to do this all alone. 402 00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:47,379 I am guilty of thinking that the night shift was your job. 403 00:18:47,482 --> 00:18:52,344 So I apologize for that. - Apology accepted. 404 00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,620 - Look, we're in this together, okay? 405 00:18:54,724 --> 00:18:56,724 That's what good parenting's about. 406 00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:57,896 - So you have my back? 407 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,620 - I got your back as long as you've got mine. 408 00:18:59,724 --> 00:19:01,000 - Deal. 409 00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:04,517 Deal baby, look at you. 410 00:19:07,931 --> 00:19:09,793 - [knocking on door] 411 00:19:09,896 --> 00:19:11,931 - Look, Pookie, you tripping if you think I'm paying 412 00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:13,172 the $800 bill. 413 00:19:13,275 --> 00:19:16,413 You said bottles on you. - Hey. 414 00:19:16,517 --> 00:19:19,827 - You. - Hey, you. 415 00:19:19,931 --> 00:19:22,482 - Hey. - You uh, going to invite me in? 416 00:19:22,586 --> 00:19:24,379 - Oh, yeah. Come in. 417 00:19:24,482 --> 00:19:28,689 - Why thank you. - So... 418 00:19:30,413 --> 00:19:31,724 What are you doing here? 419 00:19:31,827 --> 00:19:35,000 - I came to drop off Christian. 420 00:19:35,103 --> 00:19:38,413 - [laughs] Duh. 421 00:19:38,517 --> 00:19:40,620 I knew that. I knew that. 422 00:19:40,724 --> 00:19:43,206 I got a hangover. - Hmm. 423 00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:45,344 - Memory's foggy. 424 00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:49,034 - What are you looking for? 425 00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,379 - Christian. Where is he? 426 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,965 - He's um, downstairs in the car with Amber. 427 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,724 I figured I'd come upstairs first, so uh, we could talk. 428 00:19:55,827 --> 00:19:57,793 - Okay, wait. That is deja vu. 429 00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,241 That's weird. 430 00:19:59,344 --> 00:20:02,172 I had this horrible nightmare last night 431 00:20:02,275 --> 00:20:06,000 and Amber's name was mentioned in it. 432 00:20:06,103 --> 00:20:09,310 - It was uh, horrible nightmare? 433 00:20:09,413 --> 00:20:13,793 - Oh God. Oh, oh God... 434 00:20:13,896 --> 00:20:16,689 I guess when I drink, I have vivid dreams. 435 00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:20,931 - Oh, wow. It was that bad? 436 00:20:21,034 --> 00:20:23,689 - Oh, it was light-skinned Michael Jackson in the 80s bad, 437 00:20:23,793 --> 00:20:25,758 but luckily it was just a dream. 438 00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:29,241 I felt like the girl in the "Thriller" video. 439 00:20:29,344 --> 00:20:31,068 But anyway, let the past be past. 440 00:20:31,172 --> 00:20:34,551 What did you want to talk about? 441 00:20:34,655 --> 00:20:39,655 - Nah, yeah, there's apparently, it's nothing. 442 00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:42,275 You know what? I'm gonna um-- 443 00:20:42,379 --> 00:20:44,724 I'm just gonna go get Christian. 444 00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:45,965 - Cool. 445 00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:49,034 - Do I look like a zombie doing all this. 446 00:20:50,965 --> 00:20:52,758 - [door slams shut] 447 00:20:58,413 --> 00:21:02,068 - Oh damn. 448 00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:05,724 Oh. 449 00:21:34,275 --> 00:21:36,448 - ♪ 450 00:21:40,896 --> 00:21:44,000 - ♪ 32919

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