All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E08 - A Payne-ful Interview WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

- Maybe they can't see

the product on the other
side of the computer.

- Pops, that's not how it works.

- Well, I know I should have
gotten some orders by now.

- Well, have you checked
your orders through emails?

- No.

I thought they would just
send the check in the mail.

- And how would you know?
Through telegram or Morse code?

Pops, you haven't checked
your email in weeks.

- Oh, that's not true.

I haven't checked it ever.

- Okay, how do you expect
to keep up with your customers

if you're not
interacting with them?

- I don't want
to interact with them.

I just want them
to send in that money.

You heard me.

- Okay, but you have to enter
the orders through emails.

I mean, you got a bunch
of them just sitting here.

- Well, you handle that.
I'ma make me a sandwich.

- What?

Aye yo pops!
What's Hot in the A?

- I don't know.
You're the one screaming.

- No no, you have an email
from "What's Hot in the A!"

They want to do a virtual
interview with you.

- Huh?

Oh, wait, "Hot in the A!"

Is that... Is it that show that
uh uh put Ivy's Pies on the map?

- That's it.
- Oh, you know what?

If we get on that segment,

then that's gonna really
blow the sauce up.

- This would be really
good publicity.

Good thing I went
through these emails.

- You know what?

Move on over, move over, bubble.

Good job.

Let me go ahead and let them
know they need to hear from me.

The Sauce Boss,
I just got type right here?

- Are you serious?

Type "hello"?
Like a power tool.

- Yeah yeah.
- Okay.

There that "H".

There it is, there it is, "E".

- Are you serious?

- Shhh.

L, L, need two "L's".

Look at
how many of them are there.

- You know what?

At this rate,
a telegram would be faster.

Look Pops, his number
is right there.

I'll just call them and see
if they're still interested.

- Well, you call, you got to act

like my agent and be
professional.

And don't be using
that slang stuff.

- Hello?

Hey, is this, uh,
Damon Belt's office?

Yes, well, this is
Curtis Payne's office.

- Professional. Professional.

- Yeah.

I'm sorry about
the late response.

We've been swamped over here.

Oh, yes, Mr. Payne
would love to do your

virtual inter--
- Don't be begging.

Don't be begging.

- Oh, his schedule is wide open.

I mean, we would love
to squeeze you in.

- Of course. Of course.
Yeah, that works.

Well, thank you, buh-bye.

It's all set.
- Yes!

- It's all set.
- Yes! Ha, ha!

Good job, Son.

Hey, I'm about to be
"What's hot in the A!"

And the B and the C.

And the D, and
the whole damn alphabet.

You heard me.

The Sauce Boss!

- You need to learn
the alphabet on these keys.

- [theme music]

- My two favorite ladies.

What-- what's going...
Shouldn't you and the baby be

watching Nickelodeon
or something?

Not this, what is it?

"New Life, New Love."

Why do you
watch this stuff if it's

gonna make you cry?

- I'm not crying.

- Then what's that watery
stuff running out your eyes?

- I mean...

It's tears, but they're
the happy kind.

- Okay, well, next time I make

you cry, I'll just assume
that they're the happy kind.

Stop it.

- See, that's what
I'm talking about.

You need to be more sensitive,
like old boy in the movie.

- Whatcha you want me to do?

You want me to cry
and rub your feet

and make you
dinner all the time?

- Yes.

- Well, I already do
a lot of that stuff.

So what else is
it that you want?

- I want you to be
more sensitive.

- Whatcha mean?
I am sensitive.

- When's the last
time you cried?

- Oh, you remember that time

last winter that you
slipped on that ice?

[chuckling]

Not bad.
That right there.

I laughed till I cried.

- I'm talking about sad crying.

Not crying from laughing at me.

- Oh no baby, my tears
don't know the difference.

- Malik, I just want you

to explore your feelings,
you know, be more sensitive.

- Okay.
Well, what do you have in mind?

Because I know you have
something in mind.

- Hmmm.

Watch MaLisa
for a little while.

Take care of her, feed her,

burp her, maybe read to her,
play with her,

wash her clothes.

And while you at it,
find her a daycare.

- Okay, whatcha
gonna be doing?

- Finishing an entire movie

instead of the opening
and closing act.

I need a break.

- Well, why didn't you just
say you needed a break?

- I need a break.
- Okay.

You could take a break.

Later, because I had plans
to watch a game and relax.

- And I had plans to have
a baby when I was rich.

But you know what the book said,

the best-laid plans
are wives and men.

- Uh, Baby, that's mice and men.

- Good.

You know it.

Now read it to your daughter
while I--

- Take your break.

- Thank you.

- This is what I'm wearing
for the interview.

How I look?

- Bright.
- Good.

That way people can see
what my future look like.

- Man, Pops, the interview
isn't for three days.

Why are you wearing that now?

- Well, we're doing a dress
rehearsal, right?

- Yeah.
Let's practice.

You sit here.

- Okay.

Now, you get all
these set up right?

All these set up--this crooked

because they said--
somebody told me

you make a lot of money
with product placement.

- Pops, that's not how
product placement works.

It's a virtual interview.

- Yeah, with the biggest
show in Atlanta.

And it's going to make me the
richest barbecue mogul in town.

You heard me.

- Yes, I'm so excited for you.

- Hey baby. Yeah,
I'm glad you're excited.

You should be.

I'm gonna
let you know right now,

when this thing blow up,
I'm having some groupies.

Don't be tripping, okay?

I'm going to call 'em
the Barbecueties. You get it?

- You gonna get it if
you don't act right.

- Sit down, Mom.

Now, I'm gonna ask
the questions.

You're going to look right here.
All right?

This is where the interview
is taking place.

Now, I did some research
on media training and we're

gonna run through some
scenarios to practice.

- Well, I don't need no media
training, but do your worse.

Okay.

Welcome to "What's Hot
in the A!" We are so happy

to finally sit down
with the Sauce Boss.

- Uh, excuse me.

It's Curtis Payne
the Sauce Boss...

Wipe me down.

- [laughter]

- Good to know.

Okay, so tell us about
your culinary background.

- I thought we was gonna be
talking about the sauce.

- Where did you attend
cooking school?

- Oh, okay.

Oh, I went to...
Le Cordon Bleu...

- [laughter]

- The backyard campus.

- [laughter]

- You heard me.

- Curtis.

- And-- and an art
institute in my kitchen.

- So you actually have no
training in food or cooking?

- Yeah, actually, it's a gift.

- Here it comes.
- It's a gift.

I'm self-trained.
I'm self-taught.

And, uh, but I will tell you
about the secret sauce.

- Oh, no, sir.

Your secret is actually out.
The Sauce Boss is a fraud.

- Got him!

- And just like that,
the grand opening.

Grand closing.

- Hey, baby, uh, how much
longer for your movie?

This girl got
the colon of a grown man,

and we are almost out of
diapers.

- This is the first act.

- Oh, cool. So you're done?

- Oh no, it's just getting
started, but I'll stop.

- Okay, well, thank you.
I appreciate it.

- And get some diapers.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm going to get the diapers.

I need a break.

- No, no, no, that's too bad,
because I'm still on my break.

- Uh, baby, you aren't being
real sensitive to me right now.

You're not being
a very good parent.

- That's a good
thing she has two.

I'll be back in a
couple of hours.

- Hours? What...

You about to go
and make the diapers?

- No, but I might as well get

some baby food and
some baby formula.

My nails done
and some pacifiers.

- Wait, hold on.

You just said get
your nails done.

What does that have
to do with the baby?

- I love you.

- Love you, too.

This just ain't right.
This ain't right.

Oh, so y'all just going
to do it in the rain?

Okay, I see why Lisa
like this stuff.

Oh, you just gonna rip
her shirt off like that.

Oh, you wild. You wild.

Okay. Let me...
[unintelligible]

- Yeah, I do not need
no media training.

Y'all need to stop
throwing shade.

You heard me.

- No shade, Pops.

You just can't predict
what they ask.

- So you need to be ready, baby,
for everything and anything.

- I need to just be myself.

- No. That's the last
thing you need to be.

- Well, what is that
supposed to mean?

- Look, I love you, Pops.

And I know you don't mean half

of the things you say. But--

- I mean every
word that comes out

of my mouth, whether
people like it or not.

- You don't mean that.

- I said what I said, Ella.

- Pops, I'm trying to stop
you from getting cancelled.

- Ain't nobody canceling me.

I'm a child of God.

- Now you know you
don't mean that.

- See. That's what
I'm talking about.

You'd be making these

off-the-cuff comments that could
be twisted and used against you.

The Internet is the
wild wild west now.

- And you can't win with that
six shooter you keep loaded with

"Tad-dat-dat-duh.
I'm Curtis Payne. You heard me."

- Well, what am I supposed
to fight with, Ella?

Because I'm not
going to back down.

- That's the thing.
You don't have to fight.

Just be prepared.

Don't answer their questions.

Just give them the messages
you want them to hear.

- Like what?

- Well, if they ask you how long
you've been a chef, you answer,

"I've been in the kitchen my
whole life."

- Oh, I like that.

- Okay.
And if they ask you where you

manufactured and
bottled your sauce,

you say in a family-owned
facility right here in Atlanta.

Man, you good. You lie
a lot better than me.

- Do what?

- I'm talking about
when I lie to other people.

I lie to other people.
- ELLA: Mm-hmm.

I don't like this.

It feels like lying.

- Oh, but see, that's the thing.

It's not lying.

It's spinning.

- Well, spinning
sounds like sinning.

- Well, no, Mama.

It's all about giving them

the message that you
want them to hear.

Like if they ask you how many

bottles you've sold to date,
you tell them...

- A kajillion.

- Now, that's a lot.

- No, you say,
too many to remember,

and you've
never had one returned.

- Dog, you good, boy.

You got that much, Son.
Come here, boy. That my son.

I like that.
I can do this!

- Curtis...uh-uh.

- We got a lot of work to do.

The interview is in three days
and we don't have a lot of time.

It's "What's Hot in the A!"

- Okay.

- Curtis Payne's office.

- Office?

- Oh, of course.
Of course, yeah.

I'll let him know.
Thanks.

- What's wrong?

- Well, the interview is
no longer in three days.

It's in 2 hours.

And it's live.

- So they're not going to be
able to edit that right there?

- Mm-mm.

- Ready.

- So what happens now?

- I'm about to make
it do what it do.

Turn it on for me.

There it is.

Okay, now, give me a mic.

- That's not the best idea.

- Son, in about 2 hours,
I'm gonna have everybody

in Atlanta put my sauce
in their mouth!

- That's why.

- Look, you need somebody
on camera with you.

Like a media coach.

All the big names have them.

OJ, Martha Stewart, R. Kelly.

- So anybody who goes to prison.

- All right, you do it.

- No, Mom should do it.

No, no Calvin, you're what
they call camera ready.

Excuse you?

No, baby, he's ready to go
on camera and spin things.

You know, keep me on message.

He's camera ready.

You're church ready.

- Well, that's exactly
why Mom should do it.

- Oh, hell no.
- Oh, heck no.

- Well, it can't be me.

They've already talked to me.

We'll look like posers.

I can't be your assistant
and your business partner.

Besides, besides, you know what?

Come here.

Mom, you sit off to the side

and Dad, you introduce her as
your life and business partner.

Then you do your thing.

- Okay.

That boy is good.
He good, Ella.

You were right.

There is hope for him.

- Curtis.

- Baby, I never thought
he'd amount to nothing.

- And that is why you cannot
have a microphone by yourself.

- So you'll do it?
- I will.

But I will not spin or lie.
Because spinning--

- [unison]
"Spinning is sinning"

We get it.

- Well, what do we have here?

- Oh, uh, nothing.

Just was finishing
the movie you left on.

- You did not watch
that whole movie.

- Yes, I did.

I watched it twice.

Second time with subtitles.

- What did you think?

- Men can be so selfish.

Why couldn't he see?

All she wanted to do
was follow her dreams.

- Are you okay, babe?

- No, no, I'm not.

All he had to do was get more in
tune with her wants and needs.

He could have seen that they

could have built
a beautiful life together.

- I know, right?

I mean, what about the
horseback scene on the beach?

- Exactly.
She just wanted to ride horses

and get away.

Goodness.

What...

Are we this movie?

- We could be if we're not more

sensitive to what
each other needs.

- You know, you're right.
You're right.

Well, we're both still new to
all of this life partner stuff.

So what else do you need from
me?

- You already gave me
what I need.

A break.

Thanks for that.

Now it's time for me
to give you what you need.

- Oh okay.

Golly, we gonna do this
in front of the baby?

Okay, I'm cool with it.

- I knew how much you
wanted to watch the game.

- Oh, yeah, yeah, the game.

Well, you know,
that's all right because

I know how much you wanted
to watch a movie.

So let's do that.

- You already watched it twice.

- Well third time's a charm.

And after we finished
watching this,

I picked another movie for us.

It's called uh, Jason's Lyric.

- I love that movie.

You know, the guy, the main guy?

He kind of reminds me
of your dad for some reason.

- Yeah. You know, he really
does, that's crazy.

Probably just because
they both light skin.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Okay

- DAMON: Hello, Curtis.

Welcome to
"What's Hot in the A!"

the live online edition.

Say hi to our millions
of followers.

- Hello.

Thank you for having us... Me.

- DAMON: It's so great to
finally meet the Sauce Boss.

I hear people will soon be

wiping down your
sauce all over town.

- Well, that would be a--

uh, a blessing.

- DAMON: So tell us,

what's your inspiration
for this bomb-ass sauce?

- Oh, I've been in
kitchens all my life.

I'm in one now.

- You heard me.

- DAMON: Uh, hello.
Who are you?

- Hello. I'm Ella Payne.

Mrs. Sauce Boss...

Wipe me down.

- DAMON: You're life partners
and business partners?

- Uh, yeah.

Yes, this is my wife.

The strong Christian
woman by my side.

Ain't gonna fall in that trap.

- DAMON: Well, uh,
this has been interesting.

Thanks for your time.

- That's it?
- That's it?

- DAMON: Yeah, it's
not working out.

I thought this would
be more spicy.

- Tah-dah-dad-up.

- Ella.

- The Sauce Boss might
make that flavor one day.

And it's hot.

- DAMON: Okay, uh, tell me more.

- Uh, well, my wife is

the inspiration for that
soon-to-be-released sauce.

It's hot and spicy.

And have you begging for more.

You heard me.

- DAMON: Are there any other
exclusive sauces you want

to tell us about?

- Well, yeah, yeah, I'm working

on one now called
Hallelujah Habanera.

It's for those Christians

they like that heat
in their mouth.

- Oh lord. Oh lord.

- DAMON: I love that one.

- And then I got another
one called Devil's Breath.

It's inspired by my
wife's friend Clarita.

It's hot and never goes away.

- Curtis.

- DAMON: Y'all are funny.
Let's stop right here

Well is that it? Wait a
minute, I didn't even tell you

about my What the Hell?
Honey and Garlic sauce.

I got that one-- I got that one
and so many more

coming out the factory soon.

- DAMON: I'm sure you do,
but I want to kick this

up to our TV show.

Bigger audience, bigger reach,

maybe a little
product placement.

I like y'all. God-fearing
folks who aren't too uptight.

- You got that right.

Hell, I don't even go to church.
- Curtis, Curtis...

- DAMON:
It's gonna be amazing.

I'll talk to y'all soon.

- All right. Holla.

- That was so dope.
You did it.

- No, Ella did it.

You spinning Christian.

- I did not spin.

- You whirled.

- I just encouraged you to let

them see the Curtis that I
know and love is infectious.

- You mispronounced crazy.

- Now, right here,

they're lost in a field
of poison poppies.

But don't worry,
it's just a strip club.

- Malik, I told you she
is too young for The Wiz.

- What?

You're never
too young for the classics.

- Are you crying?

- No.

- Eyeballs sweaty?

- A little bit.

- Stop being so sensitive.

- What?

- ♪

- ♪