All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E05 - Meme, Myself, and I WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,724 --> 00:00:10,137 - ♪ 2 00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:12,586 - [laughing] - What's so funny? 3 00:00:12,689 --> 00:00:16,655 - Your post about how gravity isn't real. What-- 4 00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:19,137 - Did you even read the post? 5 00:00:19,241 --> 00:00:23,310 - Babe, how can you not be down with gravity? 6 00:00:23,896 --> 00:00:25,517 It doesn't even make sense. 7 00:00:25,620 --> 00:00:27,103 - I see what you did there. I see-- 8 00:00:27,206 --> 00:00:28,482 that's cool, that's cool. 9 00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:32,862 - Hey, Malik, are you friends with Jasmine on MyFace? 10 00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:35,344 - Nah. Why? 11 00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:38,000 - She didn't accept my friend request on MyFace. 12 00:00:38,103 --> 00:00:41,068 - Yeah, because you're her dad. 13 00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,172 - I block my parents. - Wha? 14 00:00:44,275 --> 00:00:47,448 Y'all don't want to connect and see each other's lives? 15 00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:48,586 - We're family. 16 00:00:48,689 --> 00:00:50,586 We see each other's lives all the time. 17 00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:53,000 - Exactly. - I'm talking about, you know, 18 00:00:53,103 --> 00:00:55,551 the little things that you put on social media. 19 00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:57,862 I'm not friends with you guys either. 20 00:00:57,965 --> 00:01:00,586 - Exactly. We gonna keep it like that. 21 00:01:00,689 --> 00:01:04,275 Dad, parents and children don't make good social media pals. 22 00:01:04,379 --> 00:01:06,241 - I just thought it would be fun, you know, 23 00:01:06,344 --> 00:01:09,103 for us to connect, you know, in-- in cyberspace. 24 00:01:09,206 --> 00:01:10,931 - Ehh, no, no. 25 00:01:11,034 --> 00:01:13,344 - Sounds a little bit like spying. 26 00:01:14,620 --> 00:01:15,517 - "Spying." 27 00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:18,586 - Hey. - Hey, what's up? 28 00:01:18,689 --> 00:01:19,620 - Would you all mind 29 00:01:19,724 --> 00:01:21,034 if I kick it over here for a minute? 30 00:01:21,137 --> 00:01:22,517 - For sure. What's up? 31 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,551 - I got to come up with an ad campaign for work. 32 00:01:24,655 --> 00:01:27,448 I got writer's block, and Pops won't stop bothering me. 33 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,172 - Well. 34 00:01:29,275 --> 00:01:31,034 Take as much time as you need. 35 00:01:31,137 --> 00:01:32,137 - Thanks. 36 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,103 - What's the ad campaign for? 37 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:37,034 - Curling's Furniture and Appliance Store. 38 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:38,758 I got to come up with something quick. 39 00:01:38,862 --> 00:01:40,551 Thanks for the peace and quiet. 40 00:01:41,103 --> 00:01:42,275 - Woooooo. 41 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:46,689 If I see that fool on the street, 42 00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:50,034 I'm going to rip his eyes out and shove them up his butt, 43 00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:52,655 so he can watch me whooping his ass. 44 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:55,620 - Oh, well, it was nice while it lasted. 45 00:02:20,931 --> 00:02:22,448 - [yelling] 46 00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:24,896 - Pops, what happened now to make you mad? 47 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000 - Like he needs an excuse. 48 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,896 - Watch your tongue. You watch your tongue. 49 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,862 I ain't in the mood today, Son. You heard me? 50 00:02:32,965 --> 00:02:34,655 That conditioner repairman said 51 00:02:34,758 --> 00:02:37,724 he was going to have my air conditioner fixed. 52 00:02:37,827 --> 00:02:39,103 And guess what? 53 00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:42,172 My house is hotter then Florida's breath. 54 00:02:42,275 --> 00:02:43,931 - What does that have to do with any of us? 55 00:02:44,034 --> 00:02:45,551 Why are you here? 56 00:02:45,655 --> 00:02:47,896 - You want some of this smoke? You'll get this smoke, bro-- 57 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:48,896 - Okay, I don't-- 58 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:53,137 - Oh. What-- what do you need? 59 00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:54,965 - I need to borrow your flashlight. 60 00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:58,482 I'm going to go up in the attic and fix it my damn self. 61 00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,827 - It's in the laundry room over the washer. 62 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,137 - Over the washer where? 63 00:03:02,241 --> 00:03:04,310 - It's up top. - Oh, I'll find it myself. 64 00:03:04,413 --> 00:03:06,206 - In the laundry room. 65 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:07,689 - Yeah, in the laundry room. 66 00:03:07,793 --> 00:03:09,862 Who keeps a flashlight in the laundry room? 67 00:03:10,551 --> 00:03:13,068 - So tell me more about this ad, man. 68 00:03:13,172 --> 00:03:15,413 - Oh, well, I want to make it something memorable. 69 00:03:15,517 --> 00:03:17,344 Something that'll go viral. 70 00:03:17,448 --> 00:03:19,034 - Oh, you should use a mascot. 71 00:03:19,137 --> 00:03:21,689 You know, like that insurance company uses a lizard. 72 00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:24,379 - That's not a bad idea. Like what, though? 73 00:03:25,620 --> 00:03:27,758 - CJ? You got another light? 74 00:03:27,862 --> 00:03:28,827 This one don't work. 75 00:03:29,344 --> 00:03:30,172 [yelling] 76 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:33,310 I can't see. I can't see at all! 77 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:38,379 [mutters angrily] 78 00:03:39,275 --> 00:03:40,206 - Uncle Curtis, please. 79 00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:41,586 You are embarrassing yourself. 80 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:43,965 - No no no, stay mad, Pops. 81 00:03:44,655 --> 00:03:46,517 Show that flashlight who's boss. 82 00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:51,655 - You brought it on yourself. 83 00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:57,724 - CJ, thank you so much for letting Christian come over 84 00:03:57,827 --> 00:04:00,172 for a play date, because if I had to watch 85 00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:04,241 Moana one more time, I was going to jump out of a window. 86 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,517 - Hmmm. Hmmm. You're welcome. - And-- 87 00:04:07,965 --> 00:04:12,000 And I um... might land on your car when I do. 88 00:04:13,344 --> 00:04:15,068 - You say something? 89 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,034 - Okay. 90 00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:19,931 CJ, what are you doing? 91 00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:23,310 - Making a profile for MyFace. 92 00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:26,034 - But you already have a profile. 93 00:04:26,137 --> 00:04:27,586 We follow each other. 94 00:04:27,689 --> 00:04:30,137 - I'm making a new one with a fake profile. 95 00:04:30,241 --> 00:04:32,655 - That's called catfishing. 96 00:04:32,758 --> 00:04:34,655 - I ain't said anything about fishing. 97 00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:37,827 I'm just making a fake social media profile 98 00:04:37,931 --> 00:04:38,965 to trick some people. 99 00:04:39,068 --> 00:04:42,586 - Uhhh, that is exactly what catfishing is. 100 00:04:43,482 --> 00:04:45,103 Let me see this. 101 00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,448 CJ. 102 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,586 Who is Dana Ray? 103 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,034 - That's my undercover profile. 104 00:04:52,137 --> 00:04:54,000 Dana. 105 00:04:54,103 --> 00:04:55,586 Holla. 106 00:04:55,689 --> 00:04:58,862 - I think we need to have a serious talk. 107 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,896 Why are you pretending to be a woman online? 108 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:05,448 - Malik, Jasmine and Lisa would not accept my friend request 109 00:05:05,551 --> 00:05:08,034 on MyFace, so... 110 00:05:08,137 --> 00:05:10,310 I came up with Dana Ray. 111 00:05:11,206 --> 00:05:14,068 - CJ, What makes you think they want to be friends with her? 112 00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,000 - What's wrong with Dana? 113 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:18,344 She's cute. 114 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:22,241 She likes quinoa, just like Jasmine. 115 00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:23,344 - Okay, listen. 116 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,586 These are grown people. 117 00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:29,724 - Grown people in my pocket, 118 00:05:29,827 --> 00:05:33,517 and anybody that I feed, I follow. 119 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:36,172 If you lived in here, I'd be following you. 120 00:05:36,275 --> 00:05:38,862 You will get Dana, and you'll be like, who is that? 121 00:05:38,965 --> 00:05:40,068 All of a sudden, 122 00:05:40,172 --> 00:05:43,551 CJ is right there because you'd be in my pocket. 123 00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:45,310 Hey-- - [computer chimes] 124 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:47,482 - Look at that. 125 00:05:48,344 --> 00:05:51,275 Jasmine just accepted Dana. 126 00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:53,620 Hey, girl. 127 00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,172 - All right. 128 00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,000 Take one. 129 00:06:02,103 --> 00:06:03,758 Pops, come here, quick. 130 00:06:03,862 --> 00:06:06,413 - Who wants some? Who wants some? 131 00:06:06,517 --> 00:06:09,000 - Check out who just moved across the street? 132 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,000 - Why are you out here yelling like you done lost your mind? 133 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,172 - Look, check it out. 134 00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:15,896 - It's a bunch of hipsters and college dudes. 135 00:06:16,931 --> 00:06:18,620 - So what? 136 00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:22,206 - Wait, that doesn't bother you, gentrification? 137 00:06:22,310 --> 00:06:23,827 I mean, pretty soon we won't be 138 00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:25,862 able to afford the neighborhood that we live in. 139 00:06:25,965 --> 00:06:28,310 - Calvin, that just means if I sell the house, 140 00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:30,000 I get a nice, big fat check. 141 00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:36,103 Well, I don't believe in all that gentrification mess. 142 00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:39,827 Okay, nobody take nothing from you unless you let them. 143 00:06:39,931 --> 00:06:41,000 You know what? 144 00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:43,620 You need to stop being afraid of progress, Son. 145 00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:45,827 I mean hell, we need more of them to move in. 146 00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:48,448 Then I can buy a brand-new air conditioning unit. 147 00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:49,965 You heard it. 148 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,137 - Yeah, I hear you, Pops. 149 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:55,931 I just thought you would care. Look, I'm going to go get 150 00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:57,241 something to eat from Burger Boys. 151 00:06:57,344 --> 00:06:58,241 You want something? 152 00:06:58,344 --> 00:07:00,137 - Burger Boys? 153 00:07:00,241 --> 00:07:02,620 Nasty as that food is, 154 00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:06,068 they need to call them Booger Boys. 155 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:07,758 Just go over to Smitty's. 156 00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:12,000 The food is way better, and the waitresses are much cuter. 157 00:07:12,103 --> 00:07:14,689 Don't tell your momma I said that. Snitch. 158 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:17,758 - Oh, uh... 159 00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:20,034 Well, Smitty's closed, Pop. 160 00:07:20,137 --> 00:07:21,241 - Smitty's what? 161 00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:25,344 - Oh, yeah, they--they shut down a few days ago. 162 00:07:25,448 --> 00:07:28,206 They're opening a Salad Barn. 163 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,965 - Salad Barn? 164 00:07:31,068 --> 00:07:33,172 Who the hell asked for a Salad Barn? 165 00:07:33,275 --> 00:07:34,896 - I know, right? 166 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:40,000 And--and all they're serving is vegan food. 167 00:07:40,103 --> 00:07:44,655 - What? Do you see any grass eaters in this neighborhood? 168 00:07:45,206 --> 00:07:48,724 - Don't that make you angry? - Oh, I'm angry. 169 00:07:48,827 --> 00:07:49,931 Matter of fact, I should go down there 170 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,448 and make them fry me a salad. 171 00:07:52,551 --> 00:07:53,931 - You do that. 172 00:07:54,034 --> 00:07:57,724 - I wish a vegan would give me the side eye. 173 00:07:57,827 --> 00:07:59,586 I'll beat him like a crooked cop! 174 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,034 You heard me. 175 00:08:01,137 --> 00:08:03,655 - Oh, yeah, you do that. Hey hey, you do that. 176 00:08:03,758 --> 00:08:06,931 - I don't need that. I got these iron fists. 177 00:08:07,034 --> 00:08:09,724 - Oh, wait, wait, wait. Wait, what you say? 178 00:08:09,827 --> 00:08:11,068 - I said I got these iron fists. 179 00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:14,103 I got back up these iron fist. You heard it. 180 00:08:14,206 --> 00:08:17,620 - I like it. You go get them, Pops. You go get them! 181 00:08:18,724 --> 00:08:21,724 Yes! And cut. 182 00:08:22,896 --> 00:08:25,034 Thank you, sir. Thank you. 183 00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:28,689 I'm glad you liked my new ad campaign. 184 00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:32,103 Yeah, he--he is a colorful fellow. 185 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:33,448 Okay, great, great. 186 00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:35,689 So I have a new reel for you next week. 187 00:08:35,793 --> 00:08:37,000 Thank you, sir. 188 00:08:37,103 --> 00:08:38,241 Thank you. 189 00:08:38,344 --> 00:08:42,517 Yes! - Curtis! Baby! 190 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:46,137 You are too old to climb on that roof. 191 00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:49,482 - Maybe, but I can't take any more of this heat. 192 00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:50,896 I studied a couple of them 193 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:53,827 YouTube videos so I can fix this thing. 194 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:57,103 You just send me some food on a rope. 195 00:08:57,206 --> 00:09:02,137 - Don't know what I'm going to do with you. 196 00:09:02,620 --> 00:09:06,448 - He does not listen to anybody ever. 197 00:09:07,827 --> 00:09:09,275 - What are you up to? 198 00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:11,793 - Oh me? I just got off the phone with my boss. 199 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,896 He loves the ad campaign I came up with. 200 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,620 - Oh, what's it about? 201 00:09:15,724 --> 00:09:17,344 - It's about a guy who has a bad 202 00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:20,241 attitude and he takes it out on the competition. 203 00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:23,172 - Sounds funny. Can't wait to see it. 204 00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:27,448 - WOMAN: At Curling's Furniture and Appliance Store, 205 00:09:27,551 --> 00:09:29,068 we hate high prices. 206 00:09:29,172 --> 00:09:32,241 Just ask Grumbly, the head of our low prices department. 207 00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:35,413 What do you think of overpriced inventory, Grumbly? 208 00:09:35,517 --> 00:09:37,758 - CURTIS: Makes me want to put my hands on something. 209 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:39,413 - WOMAN: That's our Grumbly. 210 00:09:39,517 --> 00:09:42,689 Hey Grumbly, what are you going to do to the competition? 211 00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:45,931 - CURTIS: I'll beat them like a crooked cop. 212 00:09:46,034 --> 00:09:47,793 - WOMAN: We don't believe in violence. 213 00:09:47,896 --> 00:09:49,275 At Curling's Furniture and Appliance, 214 00:09:49,379 --> 00:09:52,965 the only thing we beat is the competition. 215 00:09:53,068 --> 00:09:56,379 - Thank you and your bad attitude, Pops. 216 00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,689 - Yeah, you're going to see 217 00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,206 my bad attitude in about 3 seconds, 218 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:04,344 if you don't tell me what the hell is going on. 219 00:10:09,931 --> 00:10:11,275 - I was scared that if I didn't 220 00:10:11,379 --> 00:10:12,758 come up with something, they would fire me. 221 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,413 So I took clips of you blowing 222 00:10:15,517 --> 00:10:18,206 your stack and I put it in my ad. 223 00:10:19,379 --> 00:10:21,517 - I don't know, Calvin. 224 00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,034 Anybody that would make a fool 225 00:10:23,137 --> 00:10:28,448 of their daddy on the interweb is capable of anything. 226 00:10:29,344 --> 00:10:30,344 - I'm sorry, Pop. 227 00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:33,310 I didn't know it would become so popular. 228 00:10:33,413 --> 00:10:34,758 - [grunts] 229 00:10:35,862 --> 00:10:37,517 Popular, you said? 230 00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:40,137 - Well, yeah, you're a viral hit. 231 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,379 - Let me see that thing. Let me see that. 232 00:10:42,482 --> 00:10:43,655 - Read these comments. 233 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:47,000 - What's it say? What's it say. 234 00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:49,413 "OMG. I love Grumbly." Who the hell is Grumby? 235 00:10:51,172 --> 00:10:52,034 - You, Pop. 236 00:10:54,379 --> 00:10:56,896 - "Grumbly for President." 237 00:10:57,793 --> 00:11:01,724 - Look, Pops, I had no business sharing your image for my ad. 238 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,517 I'll take it down and call my boss. 239 00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:05,620 - What the--boy! 240 00:11:06,241 --> 00:11:08,620 What, did you have a bowl of stupid for breakfast? 241 00:11:08,724 --> 00:11:11,275 You better not take that ad down. 242 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,620 We're going to capitalize on my stardom. 243 00:11:14,724 --> 00:11:16,413 - What are you talking about? 244 00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:19,551 - You used me. 245 00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,103 So now I'm going to use you. 246 00:11:23,068 --> 00:11:25,103 - Huh? - We're going to make 247 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:30,310 Curtis Wipe Me Down Barbecue Sauce as famous as Grumbly. 248 00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:35,206 You heard it or my name ain't the Sauce Boss. 249 00:11:39,068 --> 00:11:41,310 - Oh, okay. [grunts] 250 00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:47,275 - Hey, babe. - Hello. 251 00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,379 - You need some help? - No, it's okay. 252 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:50,413 I already called the hernia 253 00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:52,137 in the driveway. It's fine. Go ahead. 254 00:11:52,241 --> 00:11:54,275 Keep watching your little show. 255 00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:57,310 - Oh you know, we're just watching Naked and Afraid and 256 00:11:57,413 --> 00:11:59,172 Lisa doesn't really care until the people get afraid. 257 00:11:59,275 --> 00:12:01,000 She doesn't worry about the naked part. 258 00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:04,965 - Wait, you like it better when they're scared? 259 00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:06,758 - That's the best part. I mean, 260 00:12:06,862 --> 00:12:08,241 I already worked at a strip club. 261 00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:10,862 I don't need to see anybody else naked. 262 00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:13,275 - [phone dings] 263 00:12:17,551 --> 00:12:18,965 - This chick. 264 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,931 - Is everything okay? 265 00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:23,482 - Man, I let this random girl 266 00:12:23,586 --> 00:12:26,793 follow me on MyFace and now she's all up in my business. 267 00:12:26,896 --> 00:12:28,275 She one of your sister's friends. 268 00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:29,965 - That's weird. 269 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,379 Oh, um, what's her name? 270 00:12:34,482 --> 00:12:37,034 - Uhhh, Dana Ray. 271 00:12:38,172 --> 00:12:39,103 - Ohhhh. 272 00:12:39,586 --> 00:12:41,379 - Wait, do you know her? 273 00:12:41,482 --> 00:12:43,896 - Well, yes and no. 274 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,310 - What's that supposed to mean? 275 00:12:46,413 --> 00:12:48,413 - She isn't a her. 276 00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:52,344 - So what? She's not gender-conforming. 277 00:12:52,448 --> 00:12:54,896 No big deal. I'm a progressive millennial. 278 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,586 - That's--that's not it. 279 00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:00,275 - Then what is it? Is she a psycho? 280 00:13:04,413 --> 00:13:05,517 - Spill the tea. 281 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,965 - Alright, y'all, it's CJ. 282 00:13:08,068 --> 00:13:09,965 - Say what? - Say what? 283 00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,862 - Yes, I was here earlier today, 284 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,896 and he created this Dana Ray profile. 285 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,931 - Nah, he wouldn't do that. 286 00:13:19,034 --> 00:13:21,448 - He would've 100% do that. 287 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,448 - He made it because you guys wouldn't follow him. 288 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:26,137 - Wait, let me see if I have a request 289 00:13:26,241 --> 00:13:28,551 from this--who what-- Dana Ray or something? 290 00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:29,724 - Yes. 291 00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:30,965 - Do you? 292 00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,517 - Yeah, I do. 293 00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:33,793 Man, he is corny. 294 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:35,413 - Listen, I'm sorry. 295 00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:37,137 I should have told you guys sooner. 296 00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:39,172 He just thought he was being so sneaky. 297 00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,103 - You know what? Let me call Jasmine. 298 00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,241 Hey, what's up, Jasmine? Yeah. 299 00:13:46,344 --> 00:13:49,000 Do you have a MyFace friend request from a profile 300 00:13:49,103 --> 00:13:51,137 named Dana Ray? 301 00:13:51,241 --> 00:13:54,000 Yeah, yeah, that's Dad. 302 00:13:55,241 --> 00:13:56,413 Exactly. 303 00:13:56,517 --> 00:14:00,724 He's mad because we won't accept his friend request. 304 00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:02,620 I know, it's crazy. 305 00:14:02,724 --> 00:14:04,620 Hold on. 306 00:14:04,724 --> 00:14:05,965 Let's teach him a lesson. 307 00:14:06,068 --> 00:14:08,586 Yeah, yeah, don't worry, don't worry. 308 00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:11,379 We're going to get him back. It's going to be good. 309 00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:19,413 - What in the B.E.T is going on in here? 310 00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:21,172 - Ask your uncle. 311 00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:23,689 - Unc, you got something you want to tell me, man? 312 00:14:23,793 --> 00:14:25,413 - Come here, I need you to be in my commercial 313 00:14:25,517 --> 00:14:27,482 for my barbecue sauce. Thank you, CJ. 314 00:14:27,586 --> 00:14:29,206 - How can you afford a commercial? 315 00:14:29,310 --> 00:14:32,344 - He can't. He hijacked my campaign. 316 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:36,172 - Not hijacked, piggyback. You see, I'm going to promote 317 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:39,931 my barbecue sauce while he secretly films me. 318 00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:44,103 - You know, Pops, if you ask me, you're putting too much on this. 319 00:14:44,206 --> 00:14:45,586 I mean, people fell in love 320 00:14:45,689 --> 00:14:48,482 with the spontaneity of your character, the rawness. 321 00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:51,827 Now you look like every other product spokesperson. 322 00:14:51,931 --> 00:14:54,275 - Now, look, you created this rocket ship. 323 00:14:54,379 --> 00:14:57,137 Don't get mad because it wants to fly amongst the stars. 324 00:14:57,241 --> 00:14:58,413 - [phone dings] 325 00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:04,448 - What the? - What's wrong, baby? 326 00:15:04,551 --> 00:15:09,344 - Well, Jasmine is auditioning for a low-budget passion movie. 327 00:15:09,448 --> 00:15:13,206 She says she wants to drop out of college and do this instead. 328 00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:16,517 - I can't believe it... Telling you that? 329 00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:20,448 - Well, she doesn't know that she's talking to me. 330 00:15:20,551 --> 00:15:23,310 She thinks she's talking to one of her girlfriends. 331 00:15:24,241 --> 00:15:27,551 - Okay, I know I say this more often than I should. 332 00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:29,724 I am confused. 333 00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:32,793 - Well, I created a fake social media page because Malik 334 00:15:32,896 --> 00:15:36,896 and Jasmine wouldn't accept my friend request on MyFace. 335 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,931 So I created this so that I could-- 336 00:15:39,034 --> 00:15:40,206 - Spy? 337 00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:44,655 - Look into their lives. - [phone dings] 338 00:15:44,758 --> 00:15:46,137 - Spy. 339 00:15:46,241 --> 00:15:50,344 - Wha-- Jasmine is getting a tattoo 340 00:15:50,448 --> 00:15:53,724 of a boy's name on her-- what the hell? 341 00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,517 - [laughing] 342 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:59,241 That's what you get. 343 00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:02,241 - Okay, well, I guess I got to do this myself. 344 00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:03,344 Let's roll camera. 345 00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:06,000 Come on, set it up. 346 00:16:06,103 --> 00:16:07,482 Let's do this. 347 00:16:07,586 --> 00:16:09,896 - [laughing] - Let's do this. 348 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,379 - [laughing] 349 00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:13,413 - Okay, baby, make me mad. 350 00:16:13,517 --> 00:16:17,965 - Well, Calvin told me about the waitresses down in Smitty's. 351 00:16:18,068 --> 00:16:19,620 - Shhhhhh. 352 00:16:19,724 --> 00:16:21,103 - What? 353 00:16:21,206 --> 00:16:24,206 What you've--you snitch! You've been snitching?! 354 00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:25,862 - No no no, she already knew that. 355 00:16:25,965 --> 00:16:30,000 - Right. I see you peeking at the little waitresses 356 00:16:30,103 --> 00:16:31,655 every time we go down there, Curtis. 357 00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:34,310 - You ain't see me peeking at nobody. 358 00:16:34,413 --> 00:16:36,310 Please stop that mess. 359 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:41,655 If anything, I was looking for some delicious barbecue... 360 00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:43,206 sauce. 361 00:16:43,310 --> 00:16:46,482 Something smoky and sweet. 362 00:16:46,586 --> 00:16:47,655 Something like... 363 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,689 Curtis's-- Curtis the Sauce Boss... 364 00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:55,896 Wipe Me Down barbecue sauce. 365 00:16:58,206 --> 00:16:59,379 - Malik! 366 00:17:02,103 --> 00:17:03,310 Malik! 367 00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:05,310 - Dad, why are you yelling? 368 00:17:05,413 --> 00:17:07,586 - Hey hey, good son, I'm glad you're here. 369 00:17:07,689 --> 00:17:10,206 I'm glad you're here. Okay. We need to talk 370 00:17:10,310 --> 00:17:12,344 - Why? What's wrong? 371 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,448 - When is the last time you talked to your sister? 372 00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:17,655 - Uhh, couple days ago. Why, what's up? 373 00:17:17,758 --> 00:17:21,034 - Did--did she say anything about any plans, 374 00:17:21,137 --> 00:17:24,896 you know, anything about school or anything like that? 375 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,413 - No. Last time we talked, 376 00:17:26,517 --> 00:17:28,413 she was going to get lunch with Mom, and she wanted me 377 00:17:28,517 --> 00:17:30,862 to drop her off, but Mom ended up coming to pick her up so... 378 00:17:30,965 --> 00:17:34,172 - Okay. Uh huh. - What's up? 379 00:17:34,275 --> 00:17:35,482 - Uh. 380 00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:38,862 When did she start acting? 381 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:41,034 - Wha--acting up? Acting out? 382 00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:42,586 Like, what are you talking about, man? 383 00:17:42,689 --> 00:17:45,655 - Where would your sister get a tattoo? 384 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:47,862 - Well, I think the next one was supposed to be on her thigh. 385 00:17:47,965 --> 00:17:50,689 Supposed to be like a tiger or something. 386 00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:52,517 - The next one? 387 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,068 - Yeah, because she already has a dragon. 388 00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:58,482 It starts down here at her back and the dragon blowing fire down 389 00:17:58,586 --> 00:18:02,206 her leg and then tails, like, wrapped all around here. 390 00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:04,724 - Are you playing with me, boy? 391 00:18:04,827 --> 00:18:06,379 - Man, why would I be playing with you about 392 00:18:06,482 --> 00:18:08,724 something like that? You need to take a nap, man. 393 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,379 What's wrong with you? 394 00:18:12,689 --> 00:18:14,758 Man, you're becoming a little bit unhinged. 395 00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,448 Now, look, I'm just a little 396 00:18:18,551 --> 00:18:22,172 confused as to, um, how did you find out about all this? 397 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,034 - Well, uh, 398 00:18:24,517 --> 00:18:27,137 she didn't exactly tell me, per se. 399 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,517 - Ohh. 400 00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,034 So she didn't tell you exactly. 401 00:18:30,137 --> 00:18:32,448 So you saw it somewhere? 402 00:18:32,551 --> 00:18:33,620 - Somewhere somewhere like what? 403 00:18:33,724 --> 00:18:34,862 - I don't know. 404 00:18:34,965 --> 00:18:36,655 I'm asking you. How did you find out about it? 405 00:18:36,758 --> 00:18:38,551 Did you see it? 406 00:18:38,655 --> 00:18:40,034 Specific place or something? 407 00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:42,137 - No. How can I see it? 408 00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:43,482 - I don't know. That's why I'm asking you. 409 00:18:43,586 --> 00:18:45,896 - No, there's nowhere for me to see it. 410 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,862 - You sure? - Yeah. 411 00:18:48,206 --> 00:18:50,517 - Dammit, you are no help 412 00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:53,965 and you know what? I'm going to call Jasmine myself. 413 00:18:54,068 --> 00:18:55,275 - Okay. 414 00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:59,034 Just make sure you talk to her before she gets the piercing. 415 00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:01,827 - CJ: The what? The piercing? 416 00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:08,000 - Grumbly should change his name to Hoover because he sucks. 417 00:19:09,724 --> 00:19:11,413 Grumbly looks like he brushes 418 00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:14,137 his teeth with that barbecue sauce. 419 00:19:14,241 --> 00:19:15,655 - That's a troll. A troll. 420 00:19:15,758 --> 00:19:17,965 - Grumbly should take that bottle and stick it up his-- 421 00:19:18,068 --> 00:19:19,758 - Ooh! - Oh, damn. 422 00:19:21,275 --> 00:19:22,241 Oh, it's my boss. 423 00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:23,344 Shh. 424 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,862 Hey, Mr. Gillary. How are you doing, sir? 425 00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:30,068 Yes, sir, I understand. 426 00:19:30,172 --> 00:19:31,413 Uhh... 427 00:19:31,517 --> 00:19:33,827 No, I can't explain why Grumbly 428 00:19:33,931 --> 00:19:35,965 suddenly started talking about barbecue sauce. 429 00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:39,448 Yes, sir. 430 00:19:39,551 --> 00:19:41,448 Yes, sir. I'll reach out right now. 431 00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:43,793 Thank you, sir. 432 00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:46,689 - Do they want to give me a three-picture deal? 433 00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:48,965 - No. My boss wants me to get rid 434 00:19:49,068 --> 00:19:51,517 of Grumbly and reach out to a YouTuber who lays 435 00:19:51,620 --> 00:19:53,931 in a bathtub of milk and cereal and eats it. 436 00:19:54,034 --> 00:19:55,310 - Ew. 437 00:19:55,413 --> 00:19:57,827 - That is the dumbest thing I've heard of. 438 00:19:58,931 --> 00:19:59,827 - Welp. 439 00:20:00,862 --> 00:20:03,689 I guess there's only one thing for me to do. 440 00:20:05,206 --> 00:20:07,310 - Where.. where are you going, baby? 441 00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:11,758 - I'm going to pick up about 40 gallons of Lactaid 442 00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:14,310 and a whole bunch of Fruity Pebbles. 443 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:18,034 I'm holding on to my 15 minutes of fame. 444 00:20:18,137 --> 00:20:19,413 You heard me. 445 00:20:25,137 --> 00:20:26,793 - I can't believe you guys. 446 00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:29,103 I'm a cool dad. 447 00:20:29,206 --> 00:20:30,931 - Y'alright. 448 00:20:31,758 --> 00:20:34,275 - You know the crazy thing is? - What? 449 00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:36,379 - Your mom is on your side. 450 00:20:36,482 --> 00:20:38,793 She's mad at me for spying on you guys. 451 00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:42,034 - She's right. Man, what you did was shady. 452 00:20:42,137 --> 00:20:44,137 - Shady? 453 00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:46,551 I love you guys. I'm your dad. 454 00:20:46,655 --> 00:20:48,275 I want to be in your life. 455 00:20:48,379 --> 00:20:50,344 - Look, we love you, too, Dad. 456 00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:52,413 And you will always be a part of our life. 457 00:20:53,379 --> 00:20:54,448 - Thank you, Son. 458 00:20:54,551 --> 00:20:56,310 - Just not our social media life. 459 00:20:56,413 --> 00:20:59,172 - Oh, that's mean. So mean. 460 00:20:59,275 --> 00:21:02,172 - Dana Ray? Really, Dad? 461 00:21:02,275 --> 00:21:04,068 - Thought Dana Ray was pretty cool. 462 00:21:34,275 --> 00:21:36,551 - ♪ 463 00:21:41,172 --> 00:21:45,137 - ♪ 33699

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