Original subtitles

- Curtis!

Oh, here you go, Calvin.

Baby, what did you...

did you get the meat delivery?

- Yeah, two weeks ago, baby. I got this.

- Balloons. You wanted to put balloons on the mailbox.

I forgot to order them.

- Lisa, it'll be delivered in 20 minutes.

- What about those air giants? Or those things that go, like...

- The technical term is IAD.

Inflatable air dancers.

I got this!

- I see you, Pops. You not messin' around

when it comes to this barbecue launch.

- I am not. And if you hadn't a came

through the patio, you would've seen the IADs in the front yard,

twerkin' in the wind.

- So, Curtis, there is nothing else that we can help

you do to prepare for the block party?

- I mean, this is a big deal, Mr. Payne.

Once people see the food truck outside,

your business is officially open.

- I gotta admit, once you caught fire in that

Sydney the Safety Seal outfit, I thought fire

and animals was the last thing you wanted

to deal with in retirement.

- Ah, the guest list!

You gotta get the VIPs.

- I know somebody who knows somebody that was

mentioned in Beyonce's post.

- Oh, one of my homeboys hooped in the same gym

as Lebron once.

- Hey, and I can always call Dr. Shirley Cesar's

nephew-in-law.

- Uh-uh, wait a minute. Y'all got the wrong mindset.

Now, my VIPs are local heroes.

It's firefighters,

policemen, HOA presidents, teachers.

Folks who will call other folks

and tell them to come eat my meat.

- Uh, can we work on your terminology?

- I got this.

- You know, on that note, I'ma get going.

- Curtis, I'm so proud of you.

This is a brilliant idea! - Thank you, baby.

- Family reunion meets block party.

- Yes. - Sponsored by the sauce boss!

This is going to be huge!

- And the swag bags?

Genius!

- Swag bags.

Shh...sugar honey ice tea?

- Calvin, please tell me the swag bags are ready.

- Pops, the swag bags are ready.

- [Ella groans]

- Okay, that's a lie.

- I gave you one job!

- Pops, Pops, I'll get 'em done. I'll get 'em done, I promise.

- [Curtis scoffs]

- Calvin, Calvin, what do you need

to make sure that the swag bags are done in time?

- Some swag.

- You haven't even started!

The block party starts at noon.

- Oh, don't worry, baby. I got this.

- You gonna make 'em yourself, aren't you?

- No. I'm gonna kill Calvin. Come here, Calvin.

- No, no, no. - Sir, I just wanna talk to you.

- I'm too grown for this, Pops. - No, I'm--,

Come here!

- Okay.

- [knocking]

- Coming!

Okay.

- Well, hello, neighbor!

- Well, hello!

I would invite you in, but you beat me to it.

- Thank you for your hospitality.

- You're welcome.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get your name.

- Oh! I'm Gloria Higginbottom.

But they call me Glo' 'cause I'm always shining.

- Ella Payne.

- The Ella Payne. - Mm-mm.

I have heard about your work.

I've heard about your work at the help center.

You are doing the Lord's work.

- Thank you. Thank you. And what kind of work do you do?

- I'm a retired solid gold dancer.

- Solid gold dancer?

- Ah, and the new HOA president.

- It's nice to meet you. Come on in.

You're a little early for the barbecue.

- Oh, I...I don't eat meat. I believe if God wanted us

to eat animals, he would have put a, uh, skillet

and a deep freezer on the ark.

- [laughs]

- Uh, is there a man of the house?

- Oh, yes, my husband. He's Curtis Payne.

I'm sure you have heard about my husband.

He's the Sauce Boss.

- And what, pray tell, is a Sauce Boss?

- Hark, hark.

Is that my name I hear ringing all

in the street already?

- Baby, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Is it Mrs, Miss?

- It's Glo'. - ELLA: Glo'.

- 'Cause I'm always shining.

- ELLA: Shining. - Okay.

- I remember that. She said that.

- She look like a solid gold dancer.

I'm Curtis Payne.

Welcome to our home. - Thank you.

- Yeah, you a little early to get some meat in your mouth.

- Curtis, Glo' is the HOA president.

- You the HOA president? - Yes, I am.

- Well, that would make you VIP.

You get all the meat you want.

- Glo' is a vegetarian, baby. - Thank you.

- Now, baby, come on now. You know better than that.

-You know I feed all of 'em.

Vegetarian, Episcopalians, strippers, solid gold people.

You're all the same in God's sight.

I'm gonna fix you a plate.

Veggie plate.

- You know what? That's... that's quite all right.

Are you the one responsible for those ridiculous...

- Oh, no, that would be your shingles making you do that.

You need to get that new vaccine, baby.

They got that vaccine for it. - Curtis...

- They got a new vaccine fo that.

- Baby, I think she's talking about the giant dancers

in the yard.

- Well, yeah, well yeah, those are mine.

Yeah, and the food truck out there is mine.

And the balloons right next to 'em all around 'em like that.

And then the house... the bouncin' house,

you see the bouncin' house for the kids, baby?

- I did, for the babies.

- Ain't that all that.

You make sure your grandkids come.

- I don't have any grandkids.

- Regular kids. Bring 'em all.

- Here's the problem.

It makes the street look like the UniverSoul circus.

- Thank you.

- That's very nice. - Thank you.

- It's not a compliment.

Actually, it's an astute observation.

Take it all down.

- Excuse me?

I got a little observation too.

If you didn't come here to be a part of the

Sauce Boss official opening, and eat some

of that barbecue, you heard it,

then you can go somewhere and chew grass.

- I never.

- Well, maybe you should try it.

Cause this is my property.

And this is my business.

- And that's the problem. The problem...

- No, there is no problem. What is it, Glue, is it?

- It's Glo'. 'Cause I'm always sh...

- Well, guess what? Go shine somewhere else.

'Cause we celebrate life in this house.

Ain't that right, baby? - Amen.

- Well, you know what? You keep it all in the house.

But everything on the curb, take it down.

- Who she think she talking to? - Curtis, just calm down.

- Who she think she talking to, though?

She talking to me?

- I'll return at 12:00 and everything better be down.

- [yelp] You done put your finger...

she put her finger...

What you talking about? You can go somewhere, woman.

- High noon showdown.

- Ooh!

I'll wait 'til you come back. You come back here high noon!

- LISA: Yes?

- What are you doing?

I need help out here.

- Okay, okay, baby.

Just give me a second.

- Uh, what are you doing?

- Baby, my social media is on fire.

So just gimme a second.

- Baby, this is kinda urgent. I need help over here.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Okay, what do you need? I got you, baby. I'm here.

- Okay, baby, did you get the rest of the seasoning?

- [gasps] Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot!

I will go and get it today. I promise.

- Okay, okay, okay. It's fine.

Just make sure you get this bottle size

and this brand, okay?

- Yes, I got it.

- You need to take a picture of it?

- Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna mess it up.

So I just wanna make sure I got it.

- Baby, you took a picture last time.

- You right, you right.

- Okay, did you at least print the gift certificates?

- Yes!

You will be so happy to know

they are on the printer ready to go, ready to go,

r...r...r...ready to go.

- Okay, okay.

- What else?

- Oh, did you get the hand sanitizer?

- Hand sanitizer?

No. What do we need hand sanitizer for?

- Baby, I told you, my Pops gives those

to the people that eat. You know?

If you're saucy, so you can stay bossy.

Sanitize your hands.

- That doesn't make any sense.

- His tagline is wipe me down.

What part of that makes sense?

- It doesn't make sense.

- Okay, Lord, just go get 'em. - Okay.

- Just go get 'em. - Okay, okay, okay.

- Thank you.

- Okay, I'm heading out the door.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

That's the wrong door. - LISA: Baby!

- Where are you going?

- LISA: I've gotta get my body butter, honey, now,

not be ashy out there.

- CALVIN: Now, look, baby...

- I'm on my way, I'm on my way. - I have to get these done.

- Okay.

- I'm on the clock. I'm already behind.

Now baby, I need you to go out and get it. I need you to hurry.

- Okay, you look so good when you be stressed out.

I just be wanna be all up on you.

- Okay, okay, we could do that later,

but baby, I need you to leave, okay?

- Okay, but if I leave, I'm gonna miss you.

- Okay, well, if you leave, you'll give me

the opportunity to miss you too, Buh bye. Buh bye.

- Okay, but I need a kiss before I leave.

- Bye.

- Calvin, a real kiss.

Thank you.

Okay, okay, okay, I'm gone.

All right, anything else?

- That's it. Thank you, baby. - All right.

I love you. - I love you too. Bye bye.

- [phone ringing]

- Shoot.

Aw, man.

What's up, Pops?

Mm-hmm, yeah. I got it covered.

I'm working on your swag bags right now, yes.

How many do I have done?

About 100, give or take.

Okay, I'm lyin'.

Huh?

Okay, look, look, Dad, Dad, Dad, we're wastin' time.

I should be working on your swag bags.

We're wasting time. Okay, bye bye. Bye bye, thanks.

- [knocking]

- [sighs] What did you leave now?

- Um, just my child.

- Miranda.

Oh shoot.

Ah, look. I left Christian at my parent's house.

Look, I just got a million things going on right now.

And I forgot you were coming early.

- Okay, no worries.

Well, I'll just go over there and get him. Okay?

- Oh my God, thank you. Thank you.

That would save my life right now.

- You're welcome. But what is going on over here?

Are you moving?

Or are you going to another country

to keep from paying your parking tickets?

- Oh shoot! My parking tickets.

- Okay, listen. You're gonna give 'em to me

before I leave so I can make sure

they're paid so you don't get in trouble.

- Yeah. - So what are you doing?

- Oh, I'm making swag bags for my Pop's

barbecue block party.

- [laughs] Is he still calling it Wipe Me Down?

- Yeah. - [laughter]

- Isn't that crazy?

- I mean, I've heard crazier names for businesses.

And they have made goo gobs of money.

- Now, exactly how much is a goo gob?

- A lot. - Mm.

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, you need some help, don't ya?

- I'm never gonna make it without you.

- What? - The swag bags.

- Oh! - Swag bags.

- Swag bags.

Um, okay, so what do we need to do?

- Okay, you need to stuff 'em with that stuff right there

in the box.

- Okay, you can't just stuff 'em.

They're swag bags. We have to make 'em nice.

- Okay, so what would you suggest?

- Just give it to me, Calvin.

- Excuse me, say what?

- The bags, just give me the bags.

- Oh, the bags. - Yeah.

- The bags. I'm sorry.

It was one right here so I thought you could just grab it.

But you talking about the bags.

- But there are a lot of them, so how many

do we need to make?

- 500. - Oh my.

Okay, come on. Just start. We're gonna do an assembly line.

Let's get organized. We have to get this done.

- Okay. - We got this.

- Let's go. - We got this.

- Team work. - Team work.

- Make the dream work. - Yeah.

- Yeah. - Bam.

- Give it to me.

- The champ is here.

Champ is here.

The champ is here.

- [cheering] Ta da.

- What is this?

- Well, baby, this is, uh, this is the first day

of the Sauce Boss.

I can't walk in there like some commoner.

- There's a theme song and a jingle.

- A jingle.

- Here's your lyrics.

- Why do I need lyrics?

- Baby, you can't commit to three verses in one hour.

- Lisa, check on the dancing air dummies

outside in the yard.

- Baby, IADs.

Inflatable air dancers.

- We got the best barbecue in the land.

Above all the rest we stand.

We got the best of ribs,

the best of wings, throughout the nation.

That doesn't rhyme.

And if you forget the sauce,

it is your loss.

- And I didn't write it down there,

but it's to the nag of ♪ So don't forget the sauce

- Your IEDs are D-E-A-D.

- What?

- And people starting to show up already.

- Oh, that's the smoke. Smoke bringin' em in, baby.

- Mm. - Baby, this is it.

This is the start of our new life. You heard me?

- Yes, baby. - I think you're right.

You know, they say where the cops eat, the food is good.

- The police are here already?

- I thought the firefighters woudla beat them to the smoke.

Come on, baby, it's a first responder joke. Come on, now.

- [laughs] - Mr. Payne...

- I got it, I got it, I got it. - Mr. Payne? Mr. Payne.

Well, hello, neighbor.

- I knew you couldn't resist my brisket.

- I realize I'm a smidge early for our 12:00 showdown.

I just needed enough time to shut down those, uh...

- You deflated the dancing air dummies?

- I did. [laughs]

And the officers are deflating the bouncy house

and popping the balloons.

- Glo', why would you do this?

- As president of the Prosperous Pines subdivision,

I am shutting down this illegal and unsanctioned hullabaloo.

- How can you have beef with me and you a vegetarian?

- It's got nothing to do with my immaculate colon.

Rather, it's the code.

Section 3-2-1, yard decorations must not

extend beyond the apex of a homeowner's roof.

- But the Johnson's down the road.

- Get it, baby. Get her, baby!

- They erect a 50-foot Jesus every Christmas.

- Every year!

- Section 3-2-1 addendum A, major holidays excluded.

- Glo', what can we do?

- You can appeal to the HOA board

and apply for a special permissions permit.

- Perfect. How long will that take?

- Much longer than the month of June.

- What if we take down the dancing IADS

and clean up all the balloons?

Will we be able to have the event?

- There's still the matter of the smoking slaughterhouse

parked in the driveway.

- That is a custom made 250-gallon

reverse flow grill.

And what about it?

- Section 4-3-...

- Just say the damn code!

- All cooking mechanisms over 50 gallons must

reside out of view from the street.

- This is crazy, Ella!

- Okay

- Who the hell's making up these rules?

- Guilty!

This is what keeps the property values up

and protects our investments.

It's impossible to keep these streets clean as it is.

- Well, I'll tell you what.

This is my property.

And I can do what I want on it.

- Hm, within the HOA bylaws.

- Lady, you want an HOA war?

You got one!

- [scoffs] Is that a threat?

- No, that's a promise!

- Mm, fine.

[laughs] Take it all down!

Take everything down!

- [frustrated yelling]

- Get out!

- Ms. Glo', can I fix you a plate to take home?

- She gets none of my meat!

- ♪

- I know it's a little late, but the swag bags are here.

- Yeah, it's some type of illicit activity going

on at that address, I'm telling you.

Well, I don't know. That's your job to find out.

All right then. Appreciate ya.

- Got your swag bags. - Thank you, son.

- You're welcome. What was the phone call about?

- Oh, we at war. - How?

- This woman's trying to cancel my party.

So we at war with the HOA.

- You sure you wanna do that?

- Man up and pick a side. Okay?

She's messing with my money. You heard me?

- Curtis!

Curtis, Lisa and I figured it all out!

- All we had to do was... - Pick a side.

- That's my boy. - Do what?

- We're at war with the HOA. - We who?

You don't even live here anymore.

- You got to take what you want in this world.

And I want my block party!

Now she trying to...she think she...

Is that my theme song?

- Yes, it is.

- [yelps]

- Is that a line out there for the Sauce Boss?

- They are.

- You see, son? You see?

I got her waving the right flag already.

- No she isn't.

Those are you new customers cleaning up the street.

- They are here for the community clean up.

- And you are feeding all of the people taking part.

- That's how we figured it out.

- So you mean, she ain't do it 'cause of what I did?

- What'd you do?

- Nothin'. That's a lie.

- Curtis!

- ♪

- [Glo' sighs]

- Thank you for coming to the party, Glo'.

- Well I sorta had no choice.

I mean, the police were going through my

unmentionables and I had to get out of there.

- No kidding? Well at least you're okay.

That's what matters.

- I still don't know how they got my address through.

And I'm not sure why...

- Glo', Glo', Glo', you're okay.

That's what matters.

And here, look. I got a little something for ya.

- Ah, well thank you. That's so kind.

- Yeah.

- Well, I got you a little something too.

- Oh, okay.

Oh, what is it?

- Fines for your HOA violations.

- What? Well, we already had the party.

- Yes, but before you had the party,

you were already in violation of several HOA codes.

- Get out.

- Section 5-4-3, oil stains in the driveway.

- You don't understand. I want you to leave.

- Section 9-8-7, mailbox needs to be painted.

- Move it this way.

- Section 9-8-7, mailbox needs to be painted

an approved HOA color.

- Get out. Get out.

- That's fine. - Go chew some grass.

Ella!

We at war.

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪