All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S11E04 - H.O. Hate WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,827 --> 00:00:09,931 - Curtis! 2 00:00:10,034 --> 00:00:11,793 Oh, here you go, Calvin. 3 00:00:11,896 --> 00:00:13,965 Baby, what did you... 4 00:00:14,068 --> 00:00:16,000 did you get the meat delivery? 5 00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,517 - Yeah, two weeks ago, baby. I got this. 6 00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,827 - Balloons. You wanted to put balloons on the mailbox. 7 00:00:20,931 --> 00:00:22,034 I forgot to order them. 8 00:00:22,137 --> 00:00:25,241 - Lisa, it'll be delivered in 20 minutes. 9 00:00:25,344 --> 00:00:28,482 - What about those air giants? Or those things that go, like... 10 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:34,206 - The technical term is IAD. 11 00:00:34,310 --> 00:00:37,034 Inflatable air dancers. 12 00:00:41,482 --> 00:00:43,448 I got this! 13 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,965 - I see you, Pops. You not messin' around 14 00:00:47,068 --> 00:00:49,103 when it comes to this barbecue launch. 15 00:00:49,206 --> 00:00:51,724 - I am not. And if you hadn't a came 16 00:00:51,827 --> 00:00:54,482 through the patio, you would've seen the IADs in the front yard, 17 00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:57,758 twerkin' in the wind. 18 00:00:57,862 --> 00:01:01,310 - So, Curtis, there is nothing else that we can help 19 00:01:01,413 --> 00:01:04,034 you do to prepare for the block party? 20 00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:05,517 - I mean, this is a big deal, Mr. Payne. 21 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,068 Once people see the food truck outside, 22 00:01:07,172 --> 00:01:09,413 your business is officially open. 23 00:01:09,517 --> 00:01:11,551 - I gotta admit, once you caught fire in that 24 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,586 Sydney the Safety Seal outfit, I thought fire 25 00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:15,310 and animals was the last thing you wanted 26 00:01:15,413 --> 00:01:17,275 to deal with in retirement. 27 00:01:17,379 --> 00:01:19,862 - Ah, the guest list! 28 00:01:19,965 --> 00:01:23,241 You gotta get the VIPs. 29 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:24,724 - I know somebody who knows somebody that was 30 00:01:24,827 --> 00:01:26,482 mentioned in Beyonce's post. 31 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,551 - Oh, one of my homeboys hooped in the same gym 32 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,068 as Lebron once. 33 00:01:30,172 --> 00:01:32,793 - Hey, and I can always call Dr. Shirley Cesar's 34 00:01:32,896 --> 00:01:34,310 nephew-in-law. 35 00:01:34,413 --> 00:01:37,068 - Uh-uh, wait a minute. Y'all got the wrong mindset. 36 00:01:37,172 --> 00:01:39,689 Now, my VIPs are local heroes. 37 00:01:39,793 --> 00:01:41,103 It's firefighters, 38 00:01:41,206 --> 00:01:45,862 policemen, HOA presidents, teachers. 39 00:01:45,965 --> 00:01:48,275 Folks who will call other folks 40 00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:51,965 and tell them to come eat my meat. 41 00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:55,965 - Uh, can we work on your terminology? 42 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:57,655 - I got this. 43 00:01:57,758 --> 00:02:00,068 - You know, on that note, I'ma get going. 44 00:02:00,172 --> 00:02:03,275 - Curtis, I'm so proud of you. 45 00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:06,103 This is a brilliant idea! - Thank you, baby. 46 00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,241 - Family reunion meets block party. 47 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:11,758 - Yes. - Sponsored by the sauce boss! 48 00:02:11,862 --> 00:02:14,965 This is going to be huge! 49 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,724 - And the swag bags? 50 00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:17,931 Genius! 51 00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,310 - Swag bags. 52 00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:24,655 Shh...sugar honey ice tea? 53 00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:27,206 - Calvin, please tell me the swag bags are ready. 54 00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,655 - Pops, the swag bags are ready. 55 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,931 - [Ella groans] 56 00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:33,379 - Okay, that's a lie. 57 00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:35,068 - I gave you one job! 58 00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,965 - Pops, Pops, I'll get 'em done. I'll get 'em done, I promise. 59 00:02:38,068 --> 00:02:39,379 - [Curtis scoffs] 60 00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:42,275 - Calvin, Calvin, what do you need 61 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:46,793 to make sure that the swag bags are done in time? 62 00:02:46,896 --> 00:02:48,482 - Some swag. 63 00:02:48,586 --> 00:02:50,241 - You haven't even started! 64 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:53,172 The block party starts at noon. 65 00:02:53,275 --> 00:02:55,586 - Oh, don't worry, baby. I got this. 66 00:02:55,689 --> 00:02:57,482 - You gonna make 'em yourself, aren't you? 67 00:02:57,586 --> 00:03:00,655 - No. I'm gonna kill Calvin. Come here, Calvin. 68 00:03:00,758 --> 00:03:02,620 - No, no, no. - Sir, I just wanna talk to you. 69 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,517 - I'm too grown for this, Pops. - No, I'm--, 70 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:05,862 Come here! 71 00:03:08,034 --> 00:03:16,241 - Okay. 72 00:03:31,413 --> 00:03:32,620 - [knocking] 73 00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,551 - Coming! 74 00:03:34,655 --> 00:03:36,034 Okay. 75 00:03:38,551 --> 00:03:40,034 - Well, hello, neighbor! 76 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,241 - Well, hello! 77 00:03:42,344 --> 00:03:46,344 I would invite you in, but you beat me to it. 78 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:48,379 - Thank you for your hospitality. 79 00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:50,310 - You're welcome. 80 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:52,344 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't get your name. 81 00:03:52,448 --> 00:03:54,586 - Oh! I'm Gloria Higginbottom. 82 00:03:54,689 --> 00:03:59,344 But they call me Glo' 'cause I'm always shining. 83 00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,137 - Ella Payne. 84 00:04:03,241 --> 00:04:05,551 - The Ella Payne. - Mm-mm. 85 00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,758 I have heard about your work. 86 00:04:07,862 --> 00:04:09,275 I've heard about your work at the help center. 87 00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,586 You are doing the Lord's work. 88 00:04:11,689 --> 00:04:16,551 - Thank you. Thank you. And what kind of work do you do? 89 00:04:16,655 --> 00:04:21,379 - I'm a retired solid gold dancer. 90 00:04:21,482 --> 00:04:24,413 - Solid gold dancer? 91 00:04:24,517 --> 00:04:28,310 - Ah, and the new HOA president. 92 00:04:28,413 --> 00:04:31,758 - It's nice to meet you. Come on in. 93 00:04:31,862 --> 00:04:34,724 You're a little early for the barbecue. 94 00:04:34,827 --> 00:04:38,931 - Oh, I...I don't eat meat. I believe if God wanted us 95 00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,310 to eat animals, he would have put a, uh, skillet 96 00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:43,137 and a deep freezer on the ark. 97 00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,379 - [laughs] 98 00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:49,344 - Uh, is there a man of the house? 99 00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:52,482 - Oh, yes, my husband. He's Curtis Payne. 100 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:56,482 I'm sure you have heard about my husband. 101 00:04:56,586 --> 00:04:59,379 He's the Sauce Boss. 102 00:04:59,482 --> 00:05:02,413 - And what, pray tell, is a Sauce Boss? 103 00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:05,758 - Hark, hark. 104 00:05:05,862 --> 00:05:07,482 Is that my name I hear ringing all 105 00:05:07,586 --> 00:05:09,655 in the street already? 106 00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:13,068 - Baby, wait, wait, wait. I'm sorry. Is it Mrs, Miss? 107 00:05:13,172 --> 00:05:14,758 - It's Glo'. - ELLA: Glo'. 108 00:05:14,862 --> 00:05:16,655 - 'Cause I'm always shining. 109 00:05:16,758 --> 00:05:19,344 - ELLA: Shining. - Okay. 110 00:05:19,448 --> 00:05:21,172 - I remember that. She said that. 111 00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:23,862 - She look like a solid gold dancer. 112 00:05:25,379 --> 00:05:28,206 I'm Curtis Payne. 113 00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:30,586 Welcome to our home. - Thank you. 114 00:05:30,689 --> 00:05:33,551 - Yeah, you a little early to get some meat in your mouth. 115 00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:38,758 - Curtis, Glo' is the HOA president. 116 00:05:38,862 --> 00:05:41,206 - You the HOA president? - Yes, I am. 117 00:05:41,310 --> 00:05:44,137 - Well, that would make you VIP. 118 00:05:44,241 --> 00:05:46,517 You get all the meat you want. 119 00:05:48,103 --> 00:05:51,103 - Glo' is a vegetarian, baby. - Thank you. 120 00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,586 - Now, baby, come on now. You know better than that. 121 00:05:53,689 --> 00:05:56,793 -You know I feed all of 'em. 122 00:05:56,896 --> 00:06:01,965 Vegetarian, Episcopalians, strippers, solid gold people. 123 00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:05,241 You're all the same in God's sight. 124 00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:07,137 I'm gonna fix you a plate. 125 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,068 Veggie plate. 126 00:06:09,172 --> 00:06:11,551 - You know what? That's... that's quite all right. 127 00:06:11,655 --> 00:06:15,827 Are you the one responsible for those ridiculous... 128 00:06:15,931 --> 00:06:19,379 - Oh, no, that would be your shingles making you do that. 129 00:06:19,482 --> 00:06:20,689 You need to get that new vaccine, baby. 130 00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:22,275 They got that vaccine for it. - Curtis... 131 00:06:22,379 --> 00:06:23,827 - They got a new vaccine fo that. 132 00:06:23,931 --> 00:06:26,793 - Baby, I think she's talking about the giant dancers 133 00:06:26,896 --> 00:06:27,896 in the yard. 134 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,379 - Well, yeah, well yeah, those are mine. 135 00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,344 Yeah, and the food truck out there is mine. 136 00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:34,620 And the balloons right next to 'em all around 'em like that. 137 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:36,620 And then the house... the bouncin' house, 138 00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:38,275 you see the bouncin' house for the kids, baby? 139 00:06:38,379 --> 00:06:39,655 - I did, for the babies. 140 00:06:39,758 --> 00:06:40,896 - Ain't that all that. 141 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,862 You make sure your grandkids come. 142 00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:48,137 - I don't have any grandkids. 143 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,655 - Regular kids. Bring 'em all. 144 00:06:50,758 --> 00:06:52,137 - Here's the problem. 145 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:57,793 It makes the street look like the UniverSoul circus. 146 00:06:57,896 --> 00:06:59,827 - Thank you. 147 00:06:59,931 --> 00:07:02,379 - That's very nice. - Thank you. 148 00:07:02,482 --> 00:07:04,413 - It's not a compliment. 149 00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:07,034 Actually, it's an astute observation. 150 00:07:07,137 --> 00:07:10,068 Take it all down. 151 00:07:10,172 --> 00:07:12,724 - Excuse me? 152 00:07:12,827 --> 00:07:15,206 I got a little observation too. 153 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:18,517 If you didn't come here to be a part of the 154 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:21,896 Sauce Boss official opening, and eat some 155 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,724 of that barbecue, you heard it, 156 00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:28,068 then you can go somewhere and chew grass. 157 00:07:28,172 --> 00:07:29,862 - I never. 158 00:07:29,965 --> 00:07:32,275 - Well, maybe you should try it. 159 00:07:32,379 --> 00:07:34,172 Cause this is my property. 160 00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:35,689 And this is my business. 161 00:07:35,793 --> 00:07:37,896 - And that's the problem. The problem... 162 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:41,448 - No, there is no problem. What is it, Glue, is it? 163 00:07:41,551 --> 00:07:44,551 - It's Glo'. 'Cause I'm always sh... 164 00:07:44,655 --> 00:07:47,827 - Well, guess what? Go shine somewhere else. 165 00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:50,931 'Cause we celebrate life in this house. 166 00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:52,793 Ain't that right, baby? - Amen. 167 00:07:52,896 --> 00:07:54,793 - Well, you know what? You keep it all in the house. 168 00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:59,241 But everything on the curb, take it down. 169 00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,241 - Who she think she talking to? - Curtis, just calm down. 170 00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:05,103 - Who she think she talking to, though? 171 00:08:05,206 --> 00:08:08,034 She talking to me? 172 00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:11,517 - I'll return at 12:00 and everything better be down. 173 00:08:11,620 --> 00:08:13,482 - [yelp] You done put your finger... 174 00:08:13,586 --> 00:08:15,827 she put her finger... 175 00:08:15,931 --> 00:08:17,655 What you talking about? You can go somewhere, woman. 176 00:08:17,758 --> 00:08:19,517 - High noon showdown. 177 00:08:19,620 --> 00:08:21,206 - Ooh! 178 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:25,344 I'll wait 'til you come back. You come back here high noon! 179 00:08:26,724 --> 00:08:27,689 - LISA: Yes? 180 00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,482 - What are you doing? 181 00:08:29,586 --> 00:08:31,275 I need help out here. 182 00:08:31,379 --> 00:08:34,275 - Okay, okay, baby. 183 00:08:34,379 --> 00:08:36,310 Just give me a second. 184 00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:42,103 - Uh, what are you doing? 185 00:08:42,206 --> 00:08:45,137 - Baby, my social media is on fire. 186 00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:48,931 So just gimme a second. 187 00:08:49,034 --> 00:08:51,103 - Baby, this is kinda urgent. I need help over here. 188 00:08:51,206 --> 00:08:52,689 - Okay, okay, okay. 189 00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,827 Okay, what do you need? I got you, baby. I'm here. 190 00:08:55,931 --> 00:08:57,620 - Okay, baby, did you get the rest of the seasoning? 191 00:08:57,724 --> 00:09:01,448 - [gasps] Oh, I'm so sorry. I forgot! 192 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:05,482 I will go and get it today. I promise. 193 00:09:05,586 --> 00:09:06,689 - Okay, okay, okay. It's fine. 194 00:09:06,793 --> 00:09:08,482 Just make sure you get this bottle size 195 00:09:08,586 --> 00:09:09,413 and this brand, okay? 196 00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:11,793 - Yes, I got it. 197 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:13,172 - You need to take a picture of it? 198 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:15,896 - Yeah, I mean, I don't wanna mess it up. 199 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,241 So I just wanna make sure I got it. 200 00:09:17,344 --> 00:09:20,241 - Baby, you took a picture last time. 201 00:09:20,344 --> 00:09:21,517 - You right, you right. 202 00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:24,379 - Okay, did you at least print the gift certificates? 203 00:09:24,482 --> 00:09:25,517 - Yes! 204 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:26,862 You will be so happy to know 205 00:09:26,965 --> 00:09:30,241 they are on the printer ready to go, ready to go, 206 00:09:30,344 --> 00:09:32,448 r...r...r...ready to go. 207 00:09:32,551 --> 00:09:33,586 - Okay, okay. 208 00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:34,793 - What else? 209 00:09:34,896 --> 00:09:36,551 - Oh, did you get the hand sanitizer? 210 00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:37,862 - Hand sanitizer? 211 00:09:37,965 --> 00:09:40,206 No. What do we need hand sanitizer for? 212 00:09:40,310 --> 00:09:41,896 - Baby, I told you, my Pops gives those 213 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,310 to the people that eat. You know? 214 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:46,448 If you're saucy, so you can stay bossy. 215 00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,000 Sanitize your hands. 216 00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:51,482 - That doesn't make any sense. 217 00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:53,413 - His tagline is wipe me down. 218 00:09:53,517 --> 00:09:55,896 What part of that makes sense? 219 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,551 - It doesn't make sense. 220 00:09:57,655 --> 00:09:59,793 - Okay, Lord, just go get 'em. - Okay. 221 00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:01,310 - Just go get 'em. - Okay, okay, okay. 222 00:10:01,413 --> 00:10:02,551 - Thank you. 223 00:10:02,655 --> 00:10:03,724 - Okay, I'm heading out the door. 224 00:10:03,827 --> 00:10:04,931 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 225 00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:06,482 That's the wrong door. - LISA: Baby! 226 00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,000 - Where are you going? 227 00:10:08,103 --> 00:10:10,689 - LISA: I've gotta get my body butter, honey, now, 228 00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:11,827 not be ashy out there. 229 00:10:11,931 --> 00:10:13,413 - CALVIN: Now, look, baby... 230 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:16,172 - I'm on my way, I'm on my way. - I have to get these done. 231 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:17,275 - Okay. 232 00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,034 - I'm on the clock. I'm already behind. 233 00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:21,344 Now baby, I need you to go out and get it. I need you to hurry. 234 00:10:21,448 --> 00:10:25,689 - Okay, you look so good when you be stressed out. 235 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,620 I just be wanna be all up on you. 236 00:10:27,724 --> 00:10:28,931 - Okay, okay, we could do that later, 237 00:10:29,034 --> 00:10:30,931 but baby, I need you to leave, okay? 238 00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:34,344 - Okay, but if I leave, I'm gonna miss you. 239 00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:36,413 - Okay, well, if you leave, you'll give me 240 00:10:36,517 --> 00:10:40,068 the opportunity to miss you too, Buh bye. Buh bye. 241 00:10:40,172 --> 00:10:43,034 - Okay, but I need a kiss before I leave. 242 00:10:43,137 --> 00:10:44,206 - Bye. 243 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,137 - Calvin, a real kiss. 244 00:10:49,103 --> 00:10:50,448 Thank you. 245 00:10:50,551 --> 00:10:52,206 Okay, okay, okay, I'm gone. 246 00:10:52,310 --> 00:10:54,137 All right, anything else? 247 00:10:54,241 --> 00:10:56,586 - That's it. Thank you, baby. - All right. 248 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,965 I love you. - I love you too. Bye bye. 249 00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:02,206 - [phone ringing] 250 00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:03,206 - Shoot. 251 00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:05,793 Aw, man. 252 00:11:05,896 --> 00:11:07,793 What's up, Pops? 253 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,379 Mm-hmm, yeah. I got it covered. 254 00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:12,482 I'm working on your swag bags right now, yes. 255 00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:14,689 How many do I have done? 256 00:11:14,793 --> 00:11:18,137 About 100, give or take. 257 00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:19,758 Okay, I'm lyin'. 258 00:11:21,551 --> 00:11:22,965 Huh? 259 00:11:23,068 --> 00:11:25,241 Okay, look, look, Dad, Dad, Dad, we're wastin' time. 260 00:11:25,344 --> 00:11:27,137 I should be working on your swag bags. 261 00:11:27,241 --> 00:11:29,724 We're wasting time. Okay, bye bye. Bye bye, thanks. 262 00:11:29,827 --> 00:11:31,103 - [knocking] 263 00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:34,275 - [sighs] What did you leave now? 264 00:11:34,379 --> 00:11:37,448 - Um, just my child. 265 00:11:37,551 --> 00:11:39,172 - Miranda. 266 00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:40,827 Oh shoot. 267 00:11:40,931 --> 00:11:44,448 Ah, look. I left Christian at my parent's house. 268 00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:46,931 Look, I just got a million things going on right now. 269 00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:49,310 And I forgot you were coming early. 270 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:50,758 - Okay, no worries. 271 00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:52,758 Well, I'll just go over there and get him. Okay? 272 00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:54,655 - Oh my God, thank you. Thank you. 273 00:11:54,758 --> 00:11:55,931 That would save my life right now. 274 00:11:56,034 --> 00:11:59,689 - You're welcome. But what is going on over here? 275 00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:01,724 Are you moving? 276 00:12:01,827 --> 00:12:03,241 Or are you going to another country 277 00:12:03,344 --> 00:12:05,000 to keep from paying your parking tickets? 278 00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:07,034 - Oh shoot! My parking tickets. 279 00:12:07,137 --> 00:12:08,620 - Okay, listen. You're gonna give 'em to me 280 00:12:08,724 --> 00:12:10,241 before I leave so I can make sure 281 00:12:10,344 --> 00:12:11,931 they're paid so you don't get in trouble. 282 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:14,827 - Yeah. - So what are you doing? 283 00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:16,620 - Oh, I'm making swag bags for my Pop's 284 00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:18,103 barbecue block party. 285 00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:21,000 - [laughs] Is he still calling it Wipe Me Down? 286 00:12:21,103 --> 00:12:22,689 - Yeah. - [laughter] 287 00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:24,137 - Isn't that crazy? 288 00:12:24,241 --> 00:12:25,965 - I mean, I've heard crazier names for businesses. 289 00:12:26,068 --> 00:12:29,034 And they have made goo gobs of money. 290 00:12:29,137 --> 00:12:31,758 - Now, exactly how much is a goo gob? 291 00:12:31,862 --> 00:12:33,068 - A lot. - Mm. 292 00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:34,620 - Mm-hmm. 293 00:12:34,724 --> 00:12:37,172 - Yeah, you need some help, don't ya? 294 00:12:37,275 --> 00:12:38,689 - I'm never gonna make it without you. 295 00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:41,482 - What? - The swag bags. 296 00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,655 - Oh! - Swag bags. 297 00:12:43,758 --> 00:12:45,000 - Swag bags. 298 00:12:45,103 --> 00:12:47,551 Um, okay, so what do we need to do? 299 00:12:47,655 --> 00:12:49,517 - Okay, you need to stuff 'em with that stuff right there 300 00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,689 in the box. 301 00:12:50,793 --> 00:12:51,896 - Okay, you can't just stuff 'em. 302 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,172 They're swag bags. We have to make 'em nice. 303 00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:57,896 - Okay, so what would you suggest? 304 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,689 - Just give it to me, Calvin. 305 00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:02,586 - Excuse me, say what? 306 00:13:02,689 --> 00:13:05,103 - The bags, just give me the bags. 307 00:13:05,206 --> 00:13:07,655 - Oh, the bags. - Yeah. 308 00:13:07,758 --> 00:13:09,241 - The bags. I'm sorry. 309 00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,551 It was one right here so I thought you could just grab it. 310 00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,137 But you talking about the bags. 311 00:13:13,241 --> 00:13:15,068 - But there are a lot of them, so how many 312 00:13:15,172 --> 00:13:16,344 do we need to make? 313 00:13:16,448 --> 00:13:17,724 - 500. - Oh my. 314 00:13:17,827 --> 00:13:20,034 Okay, come on. Just start. We're gonna do an assembly line. 315 00:13:20,137 --> 00:13:21,551 Let's get organized. We have to get this done. 316 00:13:21,655 --> 00:13:22,655 - Okay. - We got this. 317 00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:23,724 - Let's go. - We got this. 318 00:13:23,827 --> 00:13:24,793 - Team work. - Team work. 319 00:13:24,896 --> 00:13:25,931 - Make the dream work. - Yeah. 320 00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:27,482 - Yeah. - Bam. 321 00:13:27,586 --> 00:13:29,000 - Give it to me. 322 00:13:31,793 --> 00:13:33,965 - The champ is here. 323 00:13:34,068 --> 00:13:36,413 Champ is here. 324 00:13:36,517 --> 00:13:37,551 The champ is here. 325 00:13:37,655 --> 00:13:40,517 - [cheering] Ta da. 326 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,034 - What is this? 327 00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:45,379 - Well, baby, this is, uh, this is the first day 328 00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:46,827 of the Sauce Boss. 329 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:48,758 I can't walk in there like some commoner. 330 00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:51,482 - There's a theme song and a jingle. 331 00:13:51,586 --> 00:13:53,965 - A jingle. 332 00:13:54,068 --> 00:13:56,862 - Here's your lyrics. 333 00:13:56,965 --> 00:13:59,137 - Why do I need lyrics? 334 00:13:59,241 --> 00:14:03,344 - Baby, you can't commit to three verses in one hour. 335 00:14:03,448 --> 00:14:05,862 - Lisa, check on the dancing air dummies 336 00:14:05,965 --> 00:14:07,827 outside in the yard. 337 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:10,068 - Baby, IADs. 338 00:14:10,172 --> 00:14:11,931 Inflatable air dancers. 339 00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:15,620 - We got the best barbecue in the land. 340 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,172 Above all the rest we stand. 341 00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:19,965 We got the best of ribs, 342 00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:23,137 the best of wings, throughout the nation. 343 00:14:23,241 --> 00:14:24,965 That doesn't rhyme. 344 00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:28,448 And if you forget the sauce, 345 00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:30,034 it is your loss. 346 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,103 - And I didn't write it down there, 347 00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:37,482 but it's to the nag of ♪ So don't forget the sauce 348 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,241 - Your IEDs are D-E-A-D. 349 00:14:40,344 --> 00:14:41,379 - What? 350 00:14:41,482 --> 00:14:43,206 - And people starting to show up already. 351 00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,758 - Oh, that's the smoke. Smoke bringin' em in, baby. 352 00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,379 - Mm. - Baby, this is it. 353 00:14:47,482 --> 00:14:49,275 This is the start of our new life. You heard me? 354 00:14:49,379 --> 00:14:51,275 - Yes, baby. - I think you're right. 355 00:14:51,379 --> 00:14:53,896 You know, they say where the cops eat, the food is good. 356 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,896 - The police are here already? 357 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,413 - I thought the firefighters woudla beat them to the smoke. 358 00:14:59,517 --> 00:15:01,241 Come on, baby, it's a first responder joke. Come on, now. 359 00:15:01,344 --> 00:15:03,206 - [laughs] - Mr. Payne... 360 00:15:03,310 --> 00:15:07,103 - I got it, I got it, I got it. - Mr. Payne? Mr. Payne. 361 00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:09,137 Well, hello, neighbor. 362 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,310 - I knew you couldn't resist my brisket. 363 00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:15,724 - I realize I'm a smidge early for our 12:00 showdown. 364 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:20,379 I just needed enough time to shut down those, uh... 365 00:15:21,517 --> 00:15:23,620 - You deflated the dancing air dummies? 366 00:15:23,724 --> 00:15:25,448 - I did. [laughs] 367 00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:28,275 And the officers are deflating the bouncy house 368 00:15:28,379 --> 00:15:29,965 and popping the balloons. 369 00:15:30,068 --> 00:15:32,862 - Glo', why would you do this? 370 00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:37,275 - As president of the Prosperous Pines subdivision, 371 00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:42,793 I am shutting down this illegal and unsanctioned hullabaloo. 372 00:15:42,896 --> 00:15:47,655 - How can you have beef with me and you a vegetarian? 373 00:15:47,758 --> 00:15:52,931 - It's got nothing to do with my immaculate colon. 374 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:55,206 Rather, it's the code. 375 00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:59,517 Section 3-2-1, yard decorations must not 376 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:04,068 extend beyond the apex of a homeowner's roof. 377 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,172 - But the Johnson's down the road. 378 00:16:06,275 --> 00:16:09,620 - Get it, baby. Get her, baby! 379 00:16:09,724 --> 00:16:13,034 - They erect a 50-foot Jesus every Christmas. 380 00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:15,689 - Every year! 381 00:16:15,793 --> 00:16:21,310 - Section 3-2-1 addendum A, major holidays excluded. 382 00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:25,448 - Glo', what can we do? 383 00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:27,620 - You can appeal to the HOA board 384 00:16:27,724 --> 00:16:31,206 and apply for a special permissions permit. 385 00:16:31,310 --> 00:16:33,482 - Perfect. How long will that take? 386 00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:37,103 - Much longer than the month of June. 387 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,482 - What if we take down the dancing IADS 388 00:16:39,586 --> 00:16:41,103 and clean up all the balloons? 389 00:16:41,206 --> 00:16:42,758 Will we be able to have the event? 390 00:16:42,862 --> 00:16:45,206 - There's still the matter of the smoking slaughterhouse 391 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:46,586 parked in the driveway. 392 00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:50,793 - That is a custom made 250-gallon 393 00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:52,724 reverse flow grill. 394 00:16:52,827 --> 00:16:54,655 And what about it? 395 00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:57,655 - Section 4-3-... 396 00:16:57,758 --> 00:17:00,793 - Just say the damn code! 397 00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,517 - All cooking mechanisms over 50 gallons must 398 00:17:03,620 --> 00:17:07,724 reside out of view from the street. 399 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,931 - This is crazy, Ella! 400 00:17:10,034 --> 00:17:11,172 - Okay 401 00:17:11,275 --> 00:17:14,103 - Who the hell's making up these rules? 402 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:16,620 - Guilty! 403 00:17:16,724 --> 00:17:19,241 This is what keeps the property values up 404 00:17:19,344 --> 00:17:20,896 and protects our investments. 405 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,482 It's impossible to keep these streets clean as it is. 406 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,206 - Well, I'll tell you what. 407 00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,551 This is my property. 408 00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,931 And I can do what I want on it. 409 00:17:30,034 --> 00:17:34,206 - Hm, within the HOA bylaws. 410 00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:36,241 - Lady, you want an HOA war? 411 00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:37,965 You got one! 412 00:17:38,068 --> 00:17:40,413 - [scoffs] Is that a threat? 413 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:43,517 - No, that's a promise! 414 00:17:43,620 --> 00:17:45,344 - Mm, fine. 415 00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:48,241 [laughs] Take it all down! 416 00:17:48,344 --> 00:17:50,241 Take everything down! 417 00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:53,758 - [frustrated yelling] 418 00:17:53,862 --> 00:17:55,517 - Get out! 419 00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:59,758 - Ms. Glo', can I fix you a plate to take home? 420 00:17:59,862 --> 00:18:02,344 - She gets none of my meat! 421 00:18:06,103 --> 00:18:08,896 - ♪ 422 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,379 - I know it's a little late, but the swag bags are here. 423 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,379 - Yeah, it's some type of illicit activity going 424 00:18:14,482 --> 00:18:16,965 on at that address, I'm telling you. 425 00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:20,931 Well, I don't know. That's your job to find out. 426 00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:24,517 All right then. Appreciate ya. 427 00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:27,310 - Got your swag bags. - Thank you, son. 428 00:18:27,413 --> 00:18:29,931 - You're welcome. What was the phone call about? 429 00:18:30,034 --> 00:18:32,758 - Oh, we at war. - How? 430 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:35,965 - This woman's trying to cancel my party. 431 00:18:36,068 --> 00:18:38,344 So we at war with the HOA. 432 00:18:38,448 --> 00:18:40,310 - You sure you wanna do that? 433 00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:43,206 - Man up and pick a side. Okay? 434 00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:45,551 She's messing with my money. You heard me? 435 00:18:45,655 --> 00:18:46,689 - Curtis! 436 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:50,241 Curtis, Lisa and I figured it all out! 437 00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,482 - All we had to do was... - Pick a side. 438 00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:55,206 - That's my boy. - Do what? 439 00:18:55,310 --> 00:18:57,586 - We're at war with the HOA. - We who? 440 00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:59,413 You don't even live here anymore. 441 00:18:59,517 --> 00:19:02,310 - You got to take what you want in this world. 442 00:19:02,413 --> 00:19:04,586 And I want my block party! 443 00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:08,000 Now she trying to...she think she... 444 00:19:10,068 --> 00:19:11,241 Is that my theme song? 445 00:19:11,344 --> 00:19:13,724 - Yes, it is. 446 00:19:16,827 --> 00:19:18,620 - [yelps] 447 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:20,793 - Is that a line out there for the Sauce Boss? 448 00:19:20,896 --> 00:19:23,241 - They are. 449 00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:25,310 - You see, son? You see? 450 00:19:25,413 --> 00:19:27,931 I got her waving the right flag already. 451 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,413 - No she isn't. 452 00:19:29,517 --> 00:19:31,448 Those are you new customers cleaning up the street. 453 00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,758 - They are here for the community clean up. 454 00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:38,000 - And you are feeding all of the people taking part. 455 00:19:38,103 --> 00:19:40,517 - That's how we figured it out. 456 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:45,034 - So you mean, she ain't do it 'cause of what I did? 457 00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:47,068 - What'd you do? 458 00:19:47,172 --> 00:19:48,620 - Nothin'. That's a lie. 459 00:19:48,724 --> 00:19:49,931 - Curtis! 460 00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,793 - ♪ 461 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:55,862 - [Glo' sighs] 462 00:19:55,965 --> 00:19:57,413 - Thank you for coming to the party, Glo'. 463 00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:58,862 - Well I sorta had no choice. 464 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:00,344 I mean, the police were going through my 465 00:20:00,448 --> 00:20:02,517 unmentionables and I had to get out of there. 466 00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:06,000 - No kidding? Well at least you're okay. 467 00:20:06,103 --> 00:20:07,413 That's what matters. 468 00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:09,137 - I still don't know how they got my address through. 469 00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:10,275 And I'm not sure why... 470 00:20:10,379 --> 00:20:11,965 - Glo', Glo', Glo', you're okay. 471 00:20:12,068 --> 00:20:13,517 That's what matters. 472 00:20:13,620 --> 00:20:15,862 And here, look. I got a little something for ya. 473 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,310 - Ah, well thank you. That's so kind. 474 00:20:18,413 --> 00:20:19,689 - Yeah. 475 00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:21,275 - Well, I got you a little something too. 476 00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:22,862 - Oh, okay. 477 00:20:22,965 --> 00:20:24,689 Oh, what is it? 478 00:20:24,793 --> 00:20:28,172 - Fines for your HOA violations. 479 00:20:28,275 --> 00:20:31,103 - What? Well, we already had the party. 480 00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:32,896 - Yes, but before you had the party, 481 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,206 you were already in violation of several HOA codes. 482 00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:37,896 - Get out. 483 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,931 - Section 5-4-3, oil stains in the driveway. 484 00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:44,517 - You don't understand. I want you to leave. 485 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:48,241 - Section 9-8-7, mailbox needs to be painted. 486 00:20:48,344 --> 00:20:50,551 - Move it this way. 487 00:20:50,655 --> 00:20:54,241 - Section 9-8-7, mailbox needs to be painted 488 00:20:54,344 --> 00:20:55,965 an approved HOA color. 489 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:57,241 - Get out. Get out. 490 00:20:57,344 --> 00:20:59,793 - That's fine. - Go chew some grass. 491 00:21:00,896 --> 00:21:02,206 Ella! 492 00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:03,206 We at war. 493 00:21:03,310 --> 00:21:04,758 - ♪ 494 00:21:32,896 --> 00:21:34,827 - ♪ 495 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:43,034 - ♪ 35644

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