Original subtitles

- Okay, listen, just please let me know as, as,

as soon as you know something, okay?

No, not about the Etsy store, about the baby.

Alright, bye.

[sighs]

- What did your friend say?

- Okay, she just started her shift at the E.R.

and she's going to track them down

and as soon as she does, she'll let me know.

- I hope it's a boy.

- Say what?

- I hope Lisa has a baby boy.

- Curtis, how can you think about that

when we are in the middle of a family crisis?

- Oh, Mr. Payne, you're trying to stay positive.

- Nah, I just don't want to be doing nobody's hair again.

- [laughs] - That is so selfish.

- Ella, this is gonna be my first grandniece.

Okay? and I'll do whatever it takes to keep her quiet.

I mean, make her happy.

- But what if it's a grandnephew?

- Then, I can just throw him in the baptismal pool

and wish him luck.

- [laughs]

- Curtis, this is no time to laugh.

- Baby, look, we have been through the worst of the worst.

Okay? And being stressed and worried don't make it no better.

- Mr. Payne's right.

We have definitely been through a lot as a family.

- Yes.

- Well, at least, you guys have.

- Don't do that. Don't do that.

You are part of this family and you always will be.

- Ms. Ella.

- Muah, muah, muah.

- Well, baby, you know technically...

- Um, I'm, I'm right here, Mr. Payne.

- Hey, come on.

- "Come on" what, baby?

I'm just saying. I'm kidding.

Come on, I'm just trying to lighten up the mood.

Now, come on.

- Well, help less, lighten less and pray more.

- Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Hey, okay, Lattice, you found them.

Oh, okay. Oh, that's good.

Good, good, good.

Oh, no, no, no, that's, that's, that's not good.

- No, it's not.

- So, wait, there's-- what happened?

There's nothing else that they can do?

Okay. I'll let him know.

- Oh, how bad is it?

How bad is it?

- It's not good.

Someone hacked into her Etsy store.

Shut it down.

Now she can't sell any of her porcelain cats.

- The babies, Miranda.

- Um, Malik, Lisa and the baby,

they were discharged about an hour ago.

So they left the hospital.

They should be home soon.

- ELLA: Oof! You should have lead with that.

- ♪

♪♪

- [exclaiming, baby talk]

- You got your momma looks.

- Hey, nook, nook!

- Hey! Oh, my goodness!

Oh, let me see that baby girl.

- Hold on there, Edward Sooty Hands.

- Excuse me?

- Are your hands clean?

- Really?

- Yes, it's no disrespect, Miranda,

but babies are very susceptible to germs.

- Wow, I didn't know that.

You know, I pushed a whole human out of my vagina.

How about you?

- Oh.

- Yeah, girl, he asked the hospital

for a sterilized surgical suit before we left.

- [laughs]

- The first baby fear.

- 100 percent.

- Calvin washed his hands so much,

he looked like he had sharecroppers fingers.

- [laughing]

- Oh, I remember that.

- Ssh, ssh, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Not so loud, alright? She's sleeping.

- Boy, we couldn't even listen to the radio on the way home.

He drove 35 all the way.

- I was being safe.

- We were on the interstate.

- Oh, she is so beautiful, Malik.

Oh... [baby talks] - Thank you, Auntie Ella.

You know, she really does look like Mom.

- ELLA: Mmhmm.

- Hey, um, Auntie Ella? - Mmhmm.

- Have you heard anything?

- Not yet.

- [sighs] This family really doesn't deserve this.

- God would not give us more than we can bear.

- Yeah, I understand, it's just, it's not much

this family hasn't been through.

- Lisa, do you need anything?

- A name.

- Oh, you haven't named this child yet?

- No, we just been calling her Da Baby.

- [laughs]

- That's my favorite rapper.

Not a good name for a girl.

- You know, I been thinking about Janine Jr.

- [laughing]

- Look, ssh, ssh, Da Baby's sleeping.

- Malik, that's very thoughtful.

- Yeah, but maybe you should just give it a little bit...

- It's a terrible name.

- Not Janine, but the junior.

- Well, why can't women be juniors?

- Because only men are juniors.

- That's sexist.

- Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.

- Malik, you are not thinking straight right now.

- Auntie Ella, I am thinking straight.

Okay, I'm thinking about if my mom never gets a chance

to meet her granddaughter,

then at least she can live out her legacy.

- Do you ever have those unthinkable thoughts?

- You mean, like the house being quiet all the time?

- I mean, like losing Aunt Ella.

- We talked about it.

And I really do hope, hope she goes first.

- Why would you say that?

- Well, I mean, CJ, whoever's left here

gotta deal with all of it.

- All of what?

- The grief, loneliness, depression,

finances, arrangements.

Meanwhile, whoever goes first,

you just run off to the afterlife afterparty.

- I never thought about it like that.

- Mm.

I wouldn't wanna leave Ella here with all that, alone.

- That's huge, Unc.

- That's til death do us part.

That's what that is.

- Mm.

- Hey, guys, I got some news.

Janine's plane is in Charlotte, North Carolina.

- Well, where did you hear that?

There's nothing on the news or on social media.

- Floyd and Pookie told me.

- Okay, so you been watching Dumb N-N again.

- So, there are no new developments?

- Floyd cuts Ronnie B's hair.

Ronnie B used to mess with Pookie's aunt.

- Okay, what is the point to this ghetto family reunion?

- Well, Pookie's aunt works for the FAA.

She told him about... about the plane crash.

- Crash?

Did, did she say those words?

Plane crash?

- Well, no, she said incident.

But the shop said plane crash.

- Okay, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard.

Please, all of that information is useless.

- Okay. Don't listen to the streets.

But they be knowing what's happening.

- NEWS REPORTER: Breaking news just in.

An inbound flight to Atlanta has suffered an engine failure.

- See, now, that's a reliable source.

- NEWS REPORTER: The plane was diverted for an emergency

landing in Charlotte, North Carolina.

- Well, I'll be damned.

- Floyd and Pookie also sold me some Bitcoin.

- I gotta get out of here.

- Well, where you going?

- Charlotte.

- Well, before you know the status of the flight?

- Do you think that's wise?

- No, I think it's til death do us part.

- That's my boy.

- Okay, ox tails, kale salad,

pecan pie, dressing and sliced apples.

- Ooh.

- You're welcome.

- My postpartum meal

was cheeseburgers, cereal and taffy.

- I don't know why I'm so hungry.

- Your body's burning extra calories producing breast milk.

- So, were you gonna breastfeed or bottle feed?

You know, now men are breastfeeding with a bag.

Mmhmm.

- Oh, I entered on the wrong conversation.

Let me go.

- Whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where you going?

- The baby, she's crying.

- You just put her to sleep.

- Have a seat.

- [laughing]

- [sighs] You know I've been thinking on it

and we're gonna name the baby Janine.

- Malik, I think that is a wonderful gesture.

- Well, thank you, Auntie Ella.

Now, you don't think I'm being too pretentious, right?

I mean, 'cause it kinda feels like if I name her that,

then it's almost like jinxing my mom.

- Follow your heart, babe.

I mean this is a special moment.

We're giving her a name.

- You're right.

Auntie Ella, why did my parents name me Malik?

- [laughs]

[clears throat]

Curtis misspelled Malachi on the gift basket.

- Oh, wow.

- The nurse saw it and wrote it on the carrier in the hospital.

- That was it?

- Yes.

And when you came home, we loved the name Malik.

- Hmm.

- And Curtis still can not spell a single name in the Bible.

- [laughing]

- I can't believe that.

- No, he argues with me that Job

should have an E on the end of it.

- Oh, I can't believe that.

- Yes.

- Wait, so how did Calvin get his name?

- Another Curtis Payne special.

- He misspelled Calvin?

- Not one time.

When he saw me... [laughs]

I was wearing Calvin Klein jeans.

- [laughs] And?

- And he said naming Calvin would remind him of,

um, use your imagination.

- Oh. - [laughing]

- Oh, boy, one thing being in this family has taught me

is that there are so many precious moments

that we can't take for granted.

- Mmhmm, you're right. Tomorrow's not promised.

- Nope. - To anybody.

It can be gone in the blink of an eye.

- Mmm.

- That's why me and Lisa have to get married, ASAP.

- Can I eat my ox tail first?

- Malik, you know I am against people

playing married and shacking up.

But this is not a decision

that you want to make impulsively.

- I understand that, but if it was anyone

that I thought would be excited, I thought it would be you.

- Don't make lifelong decisions for me.

Make sure that this is something

that will work for the both of you.

- Well, Lisa, what do you think?

Do you think it's the right time?

- Malik. - Yeah?

- I am so hungry, I can't even think straight right now.

Y'all got any more cornbread dressing?

- Wait, you, you want more food?

- Are you calling me fat?

- Ooh, they just skipped the vows

and went straight to passive-aggressive arguing.

- No, that's not what I'm doing.

I'm not calling you fat, okay?

I basically just proposed to you

and your response was more cornbread dressing.

- Malik, I just had our baby.

A human being curled up in me for nine months.

A baby, that for the record, you put in me.

- Yep, yep. - Oh.

- They're married. They're married. They married.

- This isn't about cornbread dressing or the baby.

- Says the man who was named after a Bible book typo.

- Oh, wow. So now I'm a mistake?

That's where you going with this?

- Alrighty, right there.

Ha-ha, ding, ding, ding.

Let's take a breath.

Let's everybody take a--

- [exhales]

- A breath.

- [exhales]

- You know what? I got a, I got a better idea.

Maybe we should take a break.

- Okay, you know what? You are right.

Let cooler heads prevail.

And, um, here, Malik, you want some kale salad?

- Nah. I'm out.

We should take a break.

- Where are you going?

- I got my baby on my mind right now.

- Okay, cool, cool, cool.

So, I can use the Bitcoin like money, right?

- [knock at door]

- Nah, I'm cool on that, playboy.

But you keep making it rain digitally

at the strip club.

- Hey, what's up, Cuzo? - What's happening, man?

You know, I see why you did it now.

- Jazmine snitched on me?

Please, don't tell my momma.

She'd die if she realized I tattooed my kids

all over my back.

- Thanks for that intel in case I have to blackmail you.

Uh, but, no.

I understand why you got a divorce now.

- Well, well, well.

My little cousin is finally a member

of the Baby Momma Drama Club.

Well, as the president, welcome.

- [laughs]

You know, I'm glad that you think this is so funny.

- Hey, if you don't laugh through it, it'll destroy you.

I almost didn't make it.

- Wait, how so?

- Well, Miranda and I got to a bad place.

Now, I would never put my hands on a woman,

but I definitely thought about hiring a woman

to put her hands on Miranda.

- [chuckles] You know they have a phrase for that.

- Marriage. - Conspiracy to commit--

Sure, marriage. - It's work.

It's a 24/7 job.

And add a baby on top of that

it's like working a double shift that never ends.

- What happened?

Like, what was the one thing that made you walk away?

- Nothing. It was me.

I wasn't willing to put in the work anymore.

Really, I didn't know how to.

- What you mean you didn't know how to?

You had Uncle Curtis and Auntie Ella as examples.

- Pssh, when they got married, date night

was a ride to town on a horse and buggy.

All they had was each other.

- Yeah, well, what worked for them--

- Definitely wouldn't work for me.

- And what worked for you--

- Damn sure won't work for you and Lisa.

- Facts, man.

- But the operative word is work.

You gotta put in to make it last.

- What happens if we never get married?

- Well, I personally don't have a problem

with a lifetime of awkward Thanksgiving dinners.

- Yeah, I know you don't have a problem,

but Auntie Ella wouldn't be happy.

- Well, times are changing.

Marriage isn't the goal anymore.

People got life partners.

And my mom doesn't like that.

And I get it. It's not biblical.

My mom believes in marriage.

- Yeah, you know, my mom and dad believe in marriage too, so.

- I obviously do too.

It's just it has to be right.

- You're right.

It has to be right.

- I mean, I said til death do we part.

And Miranda and I are obviously still alive.

But we obviously not together.

- [laughs]

Yeah, yeah.

- Hey, best man.

- Ooh, hey.

- Ssh.

- Hey.

Well, Janine is, uh, she's fine.

Not a scratch.

Yeah.

She's on a flight to New York.

She's gonna reschedule her meeting.

She's gonna pitch an idea

for a life-changing opportunity tomorrow.

- That's great.

- Yeah.

Yeah.

And, uh, she wants you to send her some videos.

Some videos while she's on the plane.

[laughs]

She wants to see our grandbaby tonight.

And she said send her tons of pictures.

She wants you to call her as soon as she lands.

- She's going back to work already?

I mean, after all she's been through today?

- My wife is the strongest woman I know.

And she's in you, little one.

[laughs]

Hopefully, you and Malik can find a way

to support each other in every way possible.

I would, I would love that.

You know?

But she's gonna need that.

Right? - Yeah.

- Yeah.

Okay.

- You know, I owe you an apology.

For how I was talking to you.

I don't know what was going on.

I mean, my hormones was all over the place.

Like... [growls]

- Okay.

I've heard that sound before.

[laughs]

Yeah.

I'm familiar with that one.

So, apology accepted.

Oh, before I forget.

She wanted me to give you this.

Look at that baby.

Look at that.

- "Lisa, I'm so sorry I couldn't be there

"for the birth of your beautiful baby

"and my granddaughter.

"I'm sure you will be twice the mother

"I wish I could've been.

"You have the heart and the spirit of the matriarchs

"who have saved us for many generations.

"I heard you and Malik are still thinking about a name.

I think it would be beautiful if you named your child..."

Lord, for the last few weeks I've been binge-watching

this show you made called Life.

And it's pretty good.

A baby, a plane incident

and a marriage proposal.

Who's directing this, Moses?

For the next episode, can you please bring back Malik?

Amen. - Amen.

- Malik?

Okay!

- I'm sorry.

Look, I'm not ready to get married.

- I'll get married if that's what you want.

- Oh, thank God.

Woo, won't he do it?

- Didn't do it.

- Look, I'm not, I'm not saying

that I don't ever want to get married to you.

- And I just don't want to make the same

life-changing decision that we did before.

- Nice save.

- Speaking of saves.

Your mom saved us.

She named our child.

- Malisa.

[laughs]

Malik plus Lisa.

Wow, that's actually really brillant.

- It's us.

- You're right.

And it's beautiful.

- It is.

- Wow.

- ♪ He got the big ol' big world ♪

- ♪ In his hands

- BOTH: ♪ He's got the whole world in his hands ♪

- Zuh.

- He, he, see, we right there.

- [unintelligible]

- [baby passes gas]

- [unintelligible]

- Oh, Curtis, Curtis, she's related to you.

What did she eat? - [laughs]

- Oh my goodness. - Mm-mm.

Don't you be insulting my little grandniece like that.

Huh?

Hon, ol' heathen's talking about your angel poop.

That angel poop.

We're gonna grow some flowers with that angel poop.

- She's smiling. She's smiling.

Does Malik got a baby?

Oh.

- She's so pretty, ain't she?

- That baby's beautiful.

- That pretty little thing.

- Looks just like the Auntie.

- She's a little wrinkled up, but she'll fill out.

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪