All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S10E18 - A Little Discipline WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- [knocking]

- Hey. - Hey Miranda, everything okay?

- Listen, I'm sorry to pop by like this.

Um, but I just dropped Christian off

and I just needed to talk to you for a moment.

- Okay, come on in.

What's going on?

- Okay, I hate to ask

but I need a favor.

- What is it?

- I know tomorrow isn't your day,

but can you please watch Christian for me?

- Come on Miranda. You can't keep doing this.

- Listen, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

- Okay, so, what is so important?

- Okay, I have a client and I have to meet with them

before they go out of the country.

And I need this commission.

- Look, I have important work to do too, Miranda.

How long have you known about this?

- Listen, I have been trying to get this appointment

for weeks and they just sprung it on me.

- Well, you know what?

It seems like a lot is being sprung on you lately.

- I thought you would jump at the opportunity

to spend more time with your son.

- You know what? I'm not about to do this with you.

'Cause you know I would love to spend time

with my son. But, I can't always do it

when you have something to do. - But it's okay for me to switch

days with you, right? - Miranda, I've only switched

days with you twice. I don't make it a habit out of it.

- Okay, you know what?

No worries, I'll ask Lisa if she can watch him.

- No, Miranda.

You can't just run to my family to rescue you

every time you can't get your way with me.

And the last time Lisa watched Christian

she ended up tying Malik's feet together with a G-string

and sent him flying down the steps.

- [audience laughing]

- Alright, well I guess I'll just have to miss out

on this commission.

- Fine. You know what?

If I'ma have to bend for you,

you gonna have to bend for me too.

- Bend how?

- I want Christian to be in my wedding,

and so does Laura.

- You do know this is blackmail, right?

- Call it what you want.

If you want to see your little client

you have to agree to it. - Alright, you know what?

Christian can be in your little wedding.

But you are gonna pay for his tux.

- [scoffs] Now you're being petty.

But it's all good. Okay.

- Perfect, I will bring Christian by tomorrow.

- Well don't let another appointment get you sprung.

- ♪

- Hey Ma. - Hi baby.

- What are you doing? - Calvin, I am--

I am looking at my calendar going over my appointments.

- Okay, listen to you sounding like you got business.

- Yeah, and you should act like you got some business.

- [audience laughing] - Not funny.

Where's Pops?

- Oh, I sent him to the store to pick up a few things for me.

But knowing your father he's probably at the store

picking up more than a few things for himself.

- [audience laughing] - Ain't that the truth.

Last time I asked Pops to bring me a soda

from the fridge, he came back with a T-bone steak,

scrambled eggs, grits and Hawaiian roll for himself.

- [audience laughing]

- [chuckles] That sounds just like your father.

- Mom, I need to talk to you about something.

- [sighs] - Yes, it's about--

- Miranda. - [audience laughing]

- She showed up this morning and said she had

an unexpected appointment and needs me

to take care of Christian tomorrow.

- Again? - See?

I told her she's been doing this a lot lately.

- I did not say a lot. I said, "again".

And baby, what is the problem?

- The problem is she thinks she's the only one

that has appointments and important things to do.

I had to bribe her and tell her that I'm not watching him

unless she allows him to be in my wedding.

Now, she agreed, but the more I thought about it,

the angrier I got.

You know, she can't keep doing this.

- Calvin, if she didn't know about it you can't get angry.

- Why not?

- Oh son, don't you work from home anyway?

- Well, yes. - Okay.

- But I need to go to the office tomorrow

because I have this huge app coming out

and I need to meet with the big wigs.

- Calvin, I'm sure that if there were any other way

around it she would not ask you.

- Are you taking her side?

- You know what? I'm so sick of that question.

"Are you taking his side?

"Are you taking his side?

"Are you taking his side?" - [audience laughing]

- I don't play that game, baby. - I know.

It just seems like she thinks her job is more important

than mine.

- I'm sure she does not think that.

- Yeah, okay. Well, Ma--

- Oh, no sir, no sir, no sir.

I have a church meeting tomorrow

and I cannot miss it.

And don't even ask your father

because he has two doctor's appointments tomorrow

and a meeting about that barbecue sauce with Floyd.

- Dang. Well I can't ask CJ, 'cause he has physical therapy

and I don't trust Lisa anymore.

She probably will have him over there shooting ones

out of a money gun.

I'm not saying it's too early for him to shoot money

out of a money gun, but-- - Calvin, don't do that.

That's not funny. - I'm just kidding.

I'm gonna teach him to shoot money

out of a money gun.

- Calvin, what are you going to do with the baby tomorrow?

I'm not playing this game with you.

- I guess I'll ask Laura to watch him.

- Ehh.

Is Miranda is still getting angry every time

Christian spends time with Laura?

- Every single time. But, you know what?

I don't care if she gets mad or not.

Laura is gonna be Christian's stepmother

and she's just gonna have to deal with it.

- Calvin, after a divorce it can sometimes take

one spouse a little longer than the other one

to get over it.

And when somebody new comes into the picture,

it can put you right back at the beginning of your pain.

It'll work out.

- Yeah, well I hope it works out before I end up

womanless, homeless, and jobless like somebody else

I know.

- Womanless, homeless, and jobless?

- Speaking of the devil.

- [audience laughing]

- He's got a woman.

- Is Uncle Curtis here? - No, baby.

Your uncle is out right now.

- Well, he told me to come by so he can loan me

his lucky tie.

- His lucky what?

- Yeah, I told him I had a job interview

and he told me I could wear his lucky tie.

He said it would help me land the job.

- [laughs] What's wrong with the tie you got on?

- It's not lucky.

He told me that wearing this tie

will help me land me this job

and keep me, Lisa and the baby from having to stand

in the soup line downtown.

- Malik, I'm sure that you can get this job

on your own merit.

And a tie is not gonna make a difference.

- 'Cuz, you're looking pretty sharp.

I'm think you'll do well at the interview.

- Well, thank you cousin Calvin.

I mean, shoo, I've really wanted to work

for this company every since I started grad school.

Now with the baby coming, I mean,

there's no better time to try and land a position there.

Right now.

- What company? - Johnson & Noel.

- Whoa!

That's a hugely successful company.

- Never heard of it.

- I mean, when they went public, the market soared.

- Yeah, man, they've been on the fortune 500 list

for the past five years.

I'm applying to be the local Marketing rep.

- Ooh, and what does a local marketing rep do?

- We rep, marketing locally.

- [chuckling]

- Well, that's what's up, man. Good luck with it.

- Man, I was so nervous Lisa threw up twice this morning.

- [audience laughing]

- Uh, she has morning sickness.

- Oh, that could be it.

- Yeah - Yeah, you right.

- Well, I just want to make sure

that you're going to finish school.

- Yeah, I am.

Don't worry about that, Auntie Ella.

But I do have to start thinking about being a provider now

for Lisa and the baby.

- Let me tell you cousin, it's not easy carrying

your whole family on your back.

But, I'm proud of you for stepping up.

- Thanks cousin Calvin.

- And how long have you been

carrying your whole family on your back?

- [audience laughing]

- Because you still on my back.

- [audience laughing]

- How long were you in school?

- You know what? On that note-- - Oh no, don't go now.

- Uh, before Pops get here. Good luck on your interview.

- No, don't go now Calvin!

Curtis does not have a lucky tie.

- Well this is a really unlucky situation right now, huh?

- [audience laughing]

- What am I gonna do?

- I'll tell you what, go back there and find you a tie.

- Okay, hopefully it's lucky.

- And think "luck". - [audience laughing]

- ♪

- Mm, mm, mm.

Baby, thank you for making lunch for me.

That was the best

peanut butter and jelly sandwich I've ever had.

- Well, it's that creamy spread that kills it.

You're welcome. You deserve it.

- Thank you. You are just so sweet.

Mm!

What do you want?

- Okay, I need a favor. - Okay.

- Miranda came by, she had a last minute appointment

and she needs me to watch Christian tomorrow.

But, I have a launch meeting and--

- And you want me to watch Christian for you.

- Yes, if you don't mind.

- Of course I don't mind. I don't mind at all.

You know actually, I've been wanting to spend some time

with him, but I know it's always a battle

with Miranda, so...

- Yeah, I'm sorry you've had to endure that.

- What is her issue?

Like, she does realize that we're getting married

and that I'm gonna be in Christian's life?

- I know, but I did get her to agree to let Christian

be in the wedding. - [audience laughing]

- Let him?

Why does she have to let him be in the wedding?

Calvin, he's your son too.

You're gonna have to set her straight.

Like, I cannot go into this marriage

with all her craziness and then you being passive

when it comes to her.

- I'm not being passive. I just want peace.

- Well, I suggest that you get her together.

Because not only will there not be any peace,

there will be no getting a piece.

- [audience laughing]

- [audience laughing]

- Uh-oh.

Guess you didn't get that job, huh?

- No, actually I was offered the job.

- Congratulations!

Then why you coming in here looking like somebody

snatched up Lisa and then returned her

after a couple of hours?

- [audience laughing]

- You know, I was so excited about this.

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little nervous at first

until I got in there, calmed down a little bit,

found my confidence,

and I was prepared to land this job.

- Okay, but you did get a job. So what's the problem?

- Well, the CEO and my would-be-boss

is one of those racist types,

and I'm pretty sure he's against Black people

and the Black Lives Matter movement.

- Did he say he was against Black Lives Matter?

- No.

- Then how do you know he's against Black Lives Matter?

- He had a sign on his wall with B-L-M inside of a circle

with a red strike through it.

I mean, he even had pictures of him

with politicians that are known racists.

I mean, the whole thing just made my skin crawl.

And nothing about it was genuine,

it felt like he was just trying to fill a quota.

- You know the unemployment office

has a quota too.

- [audience laughing]

- Look Malik, racism has existed

ever since they brought us over here against our will.

But we have to just keep rising above the hate.

- So you're saying I should use my position and power

to effect change? -Absolutely.

But we can't use our power and position

If we don't have none.

Popcorn? - [audience laughing]

- Baby, you should've seen me. I went hard in that meeting.

This app is definitely going to be next level.

- Okay, well I am so proud of you, baby.

Mwah. - Thank you.

And thank you for stepping in and helping with Christian.

I appreciate it.

- Oh, baby it was no problem at all.

I actually enjoyed the time we spent together.

He's so cute.

Even with our little hiccup.

- Hiccup? - It was nothing serious.

- [knocking]

- MIRANDA: Calvin, open the door!

- What's wrong with her?

Hey. - Oh, unh-uh.

Where is she? - What are you talking about?

- You, your little fiancé. That's who I need to talk

to right now. Let me tell you something.

You messed with the wrong damn child.

- Calvin, you better get her. - Oh, you better get me?!

Is that what you're saying right now?!

No, you better get her!

- Miranda, why are you coming over here acting like this?

- You tell me!

Why the hell are you letting this chick put her hands

on my child? - What?

Laura, what is she talking about?

- It was not even like that. Everybody just calm down. Okay?

- Well, what happened?

Why is my child telling me that you grabbed him up?

- Wait, you grabbed up my child?

- [sighs]

Ye--

Yes, I gra-- - You grabbed him up?!

- LAURA: I grabbed him, but I had to.

- Let me tell you something, I'm about to grab you up.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait. Ok. What happened Laura?

Why didn't you tell me? - I was trying to tell you.

- She wouldn't have to tell you anything

if you were here watching him. This is why I don't want her

around my son. - Our son.

And yes, I asked Laura to watch him

because I had to go to the office.

- See Calvin, this is exactly what I'm talking about.

I cannot keep dealing with this our entire marriage.

- Oh, you're gonna deal with this today.

- Look Miranda, I don't know why you are getting upset

about this. You know I wouldn't put my son in danger!

- I am so tired of you right now!

This continues to be a problem! - No, I'm tired of you!

[all arguing loud]

- What?!

- Okay.

I just want to explain to you guys

exactly what happened. Can I?

- You know what?

I need to hear this explanation. So, yes, please explain.

- So, this is what happened.

Um, Christian kept jumping on the back of the couch

and I kept asking him to stop, several times,

because I didn't want him to hurt himself.

Right? - Okay, that makes sense.

- LAURA: Right.

So the last time I asked him he told me, "no."

And I'm sorry, but as the adult,

I felt it was my responsibility to grab him and stop him

so he wouldn't get hurt.

So that you guys wouldn't end up in the ER

picking him up because I chose to sit back

and not do a damn thing.

- [giggles]

Let me make something very, very clear to you,

okay?

You do not discipline my child, period.

If he needs to be disciplined, if he's misbehaving,

you talk to his parents.

We handle the situation, not you.

- You're right and I'm sorry.

I was only trying to protect him.

And Miranda, I know... [sighs]

That this whole situation is not the best,

but I need you to know that I care about Christian.

And I would never ever do anything to hurt him.

I love him too.

Okay?

I'm gonna be here.

I'm here to protect him.

And I know I should have had a conversation

with the both of you before I decided to

discipline him.

I never meant to disrespect either one of you.

I'm sorry.

- Thank you for your apology. - [chuckles]

- And I'm sorry that we never had a discussion

about active Christian is and how we deal with him.

And Miranda, you have to stop blowing up like this.

Look, I don't know what it's going to take

for you to be okay with this situation.

But I love my kids, I love Laura and we're going to be a family,

I want you to be a part of that.

- Yeah, we have a long way to go

to figure out this whole co-parenting thing

and your new little situation.

- Miranda, I promise I will be better at communicating

with both of you.

But you gotta stop this.

I mean, it's not healthy for you,

it's not healthy for Christian.

- I gotta go.

- ♪

- But I'm dating your sister.

- [audience laughing]

- Hey Floyd! - Agh!

- [audience laughing]

- I wasn't asleep.

- Look, I got something to tell you.

- Did you get the job or not?

- Look, I had to figure out who this man really is

so I did some digging.

- But did you get the job or not?

- [audience laughing]

- You will never guess what I figured out.

- So I'm guessing you didn't find the job out.

- Hey baby, did you get the job yet?

- I was actually just telling Floyd about

some of my suspicions about the CEO were right.

- Oh, so you didn't get the job yet?

- [audience laughing]

- Don't worry, me and your Aunt Ella

will get you and Calvin your own personal spoon

and bowl so you can be in the soup line.

- [audience laughing]

- Floyd, leave him alone.

Baby, don't worry about it. You will get a job soon.

- I haven't even told y'all the best part yet.

- Well, what is it?

- Look, and don't let 'em wash your bowl

or you'll never see it again.

- [audience laughing]

- No.

After some soul searching, I decided to accept the job.

- See, this is what's wrong with young people--

- Floyd! -You get an opportunity--

- He said he took it.

- Yes, I accepted the job.

I figured out that this is the best way

to show the world who I am

and be the positive change that I want to see in it.

- See, that's what I'm talking about boy.

You know what?

I'ma get your cousin Calvin to edit a photo

and put you right next to Barack Obama

and you can hang that up in your office.

- ♪

- Thank you for bringing him over.

- Of course. Um, Calvin, can we talk?

- Yeah, absolutely.

- Okay listen, I am, I'm really sorry

about the way that I acted yesterday.

You know, I guess I'm just having a little bit harder time

than I thought with our lives moving

in different directions.

- Yeah. And I'm sorry for how things went down too.

- I mean, I know I kind of flew off the handle a bit.

And I get it, Christian is 100% boy,

he is energetic and adventurous, and...

- Yeah, I guess every kid could use a little discipline

sometimes. - Yeah.

But we never discussed how she would discipline him.

- Well, I guess it's time to have that conversation.

- ♪

- ♪ - [grunting]

- Um, babe.

Babe.

- [grunting]

- What are you doing? - Where you at, babe?

- I'm right here. - Where you at?

[laughing]

- What are you doing?

- Babe, I'm practicing. Okay?

I gotta get ready for Miranda.

In case she try to step to me again, you know?

She might be short but she look like she got

that crackhead strength. Mmm.

- Okay baby, I don't think you have to worry

about that anymore. We had a talk and she promised

to stop acting insane.

- Oh!

Tell her don't act scared now.

Ha, Tyson may have virtually knocked me out

the first two rounds.

But baby, round three, ha-ha, was a draw.

Okay, I got this. - Okay.

- [grunting] Yeah!

- Watch the left, watch the left.

- [chuckling]

- Watch the left, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming.

Boom.

- Calvin, what are you doing?!

- Well baby, I didn't hit you, I hit the game.

- But I can feel that!

I'm supposed to be in the virtual space.

- [audience laughing]

- Miranda hits harder than that.

- I gotta keep practicing. - Yeah.

- [audience laughing]

- ♪

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