All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S10E16 - Paynefully Honest WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

- I'll take your plates.

- Thank you so much.
- Was it good?

- It was.

- I know it is.
- As usual--

- There's more,
there's more!

- Praise the Lord.

- Hey, Ma, is there any more of
that coffee cake left?

- Yes, Calvin. There's one last
piece.

One last piece.

- Why does he get to get the
last piece of coffee cake?

- Because her name is on my
birth certificate.

- Floyd, you weren't even
thinking about no coffee cake.

- Oh, so now you know what I'm
thinking?

So besides raising baby boy
over here,

now you a psychic, too.

- You know what? You're a great
guest.

If you want the coffee cake,
you can have it.

- No, no. Don't nobody want your
little pity piece of cake.

- Okay.

- At least let me ask twice.

- Too late.

- [loud crash sound]

- Calvin?
Calvin, go.

- And now, crumb snatcher two
and three

are back there tearing up your
mommy and daddy's stuff.

- ELLA: Don't call my babies
crumb snatchers.

Guest 45678,
can you ever go home?

- CALVIN: I'll go check on them.

Calvin, Jr., Christian!

Oh, and don't touch my cake.

- Man, boy, don't nobody want
your little funky piece of cake.

- Mm-hmm.

- ELLA: Where's my sugar?

Where's my sugar?
I'll drink black coffee.

Floyd, don't eat that.

- Hm? You want a piece?

- Okay, Floyd, listen,
cut him a little slack.

You know he just went through a
divorce.

- So?

- So? You don't know how he
might be feeling.

- I know what I be feeling.

- Ella, don't do it.

I can't help him, I gotta ask.

You've already met him.
Oh, don't do that.

And Floyd, how would you be
feeling?

- Give us free.

- I should've listened to
myself.

My sugar bowl, where's my sugar
bowl?

- Look, I'm just joking,
alright, Ella?

But look, if I can find me a
woman that could cook

a cake like this, this good,

I would think about getting
married.

- It's okay, it sounded worse
than what it is.

- ELLA: I'm sorry.

I came back, I went to look for
some sugar, and...

- Why are you here?

- Will work for food.

- Oh, please.
Calvin, Calvin, Calvin,

so, how's everything?

- It's going pretty good,
actually.

- Wonderful.
That's wonderful.

- Yeah, I just landed this big
client

I've been wanting for months.

- With Miranda, Calvin?
With Miranda.

- Oh. That.

- Yeah, that. Y'all getting
everything sorted out?

- No, divorce is tough.

- Wait a minute, you're not
considering

going back to her, are you?

- Floyd--
- No, I'm just saying, Ella,

I mean, is she coming, is she
going?

- I just don't know how to move
forward.

I mean, Laura has some ideas.

For one, she thinks that we
should make a schedule

so everybody knows what to
expect.

- I'm sure Miranda's gonna love
that.

- Well, schedules are important.

They help manage expectations.

- Yeah, the only thing is
Miranda's going to manage

to go upside Calvin's head when
he get to mentioning

Laura's ideas.

- Trust me Calvin, you are on
the right track.

- FLOYD: Yeah, trust me
Calvin, you might want to keep

that conversation between you
and Laura, alright?

And the sooner, the better.

So when Miranda comes to pick up
Christian tonight,

you might want to snatch that
Band-Aid off, alright?

And don't go mentioning your new
woman to your old woman.

- Floyd, Miranda is just going
to have to get used

to the fact that Laura is going
to be there.

- You know, I'll talk to Miranda
tonight about making a schedule.

- And?

- And, I'll leave Laura out of
it.

- What?

- Or not. I'll decide later.

You know, I just didn't think
this would be this tough.

I thought we would be together
for life, like you and Pops.

- Calvin, it's not your fault,
alright?

You're not the first person to
go through divorce,

and you won't be the last.
This could happen to any couple.

If they're lucky.

- ♪

- Hey, y'all better be
cleaning it up back there.

- [knock on door]

- Hey.
- Hey, you look nice.

Where you going, to church?

- It's Tuesday.
- The club?

- Calvin, it's Tuesday
afternoon,

I might just want to look nice
for my baby.

- I'm sorry, your what?

- For my baby, Christian.
Some days I'm a soccer mom,

other days I'm the hot mom.

- Oh, you know what?
That reminds me--

- Huh?
- Soccer days.

I want those to be my days.

- Um, I'm not gonna miss my
baby's soccer game,

I love seeing him bump his
little head on the ball.

- Okay, but are we gonna go
separate or together?

- Together, that's what
co-parenting is,

you do things together.

- Yeah, see, I don't want him to
get confused

and think we're getting back
together, Miranda.

- Listen, he's not going to get
confused,

he knows that that's not going
to happen.

I've talked to him, and
explained to him

what co-parenting is.

- Okay, but yeah, but we don't
even know.

- Well, we just figured out one
thing,

that we will go to soccer games

together.
- Separate.

Okay, look here,
check this out.

- Okay.

- The days and the events are
color coded,

that way we know who's going to
where and to what.

- Uh huh, look at you, getting
all organized,

I'm impressed.
Great job.

Okay, but wait, hold on,
what is this "LD"?

- Oh, those are Laura days,

those are the days
that she'll be with him,

I mean, this was kind of her
idea, so.

- Calvin, you must have bumped
your head,

and you don't even play soccer.

Laura days...
Where is Christian?

- There we go.
Game going.

No, she didn't.

No, she didn't.

- This is all he's gonna get.

- I know you in here.

- Are you preparing
for The Last Supper?

- I just picked up a few things.

- It look like you picked up the
whole store.

- Quit being silly, Floyd.

- I know I smelled,
is this a,

are these your famous lamb chops
that Curtis loves so much?

- Yes, sir.

- Wait, with the peach jelly,
too?

- The very same.

- Oh damn, Ella.
- What? What?

- Curtis forgot y'all's
anniversary again?

This makes the third year
in a row.

Look, you gonna have to forgive
him, Ella, alright?

- Floyd...

- I'm sure Curtis is going to
make it up to you.

- Our anniversary is not for
months, now.

- [Floyd sighs]

- I was worried, 'cause I, I
thought my boy

was about to get dragged.
- No. No, no, no.

- But seriously though,
what is all this for?

- Floyd, I was thinking,

Curtis and I need to do more
stuff together.

- So being with each other all
day every day ain't enough?

- Floyd, that's not what I
meant.

Curtis and I need to do more
intimate things,

we need to nurture our marriage.

- Oh, you mean like going
outside

with the birds and the bees,
the flowers and trees and stuff?

- Look, nurture,
not nature.

- Oh.

Well, you know, we was supposed
to watch the game today,

and of course you're invited.

- As romantic as that sounds,
Floyd, no sir.

Curtis and I are going to have
an intimate dinner with no TV.

- And do what?
- Talk.

- To who?
- To each other.

And you...

Floyd, you're going to be our
server.

- That don't sound like fun.

- It's fun for me.

- Alright. Happy wife,
happy life, I get it.

- Yes. Open that for me, please.

And Floyd, we are going to,
excuse me, excuse me,

we're going to discuss
our love languages.

- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
I don't need to hear all that,

y'all can keep that intimate
stuff to yourself,

little language and stuff.

- And I bought a couple things.

- You gonna have to stay out the
nasty folks store!

- The nasty folks store?

- Nevermind.

- Right, this is going to help
our love language,

this might help.
A game, intimacy.

- Cool, so you got some
scratch-off games.

- Uh, no, a game.

- Some lottery tickets?

- A game, Floyd.
A game.

- Oh, well you know,
my love language is money.

- Oh, the love of money is the
root of all evil.

So Floyd, go home, and get your
server outfit together.

- You serious?
- ELLA: Yes.

You be back here around
midnight.

- Oh, wow. Really?
- Oh, yes.

- Oh, what you do for a friend.

- Mm-hmm. All of the doors will
be locked.

You will not get in!

- Miranda wait, just hear me
out.

- This was supposed to be
a discussion between us,

not you, me, and that
home-wrecker.

- She's not a home-wrecker.
Miranda, wait.

What's the most important thing
right now?

- What?
- Answer me.

What's the most important thing?
- Our son.

- Shouldn't we want what's best
for him,

no matter what the source?

- Yeah, we should.

- Then hear me out.

- Fine.

- Look, this is not just about
the schedule.

There's just so many approaches
to raising a child

that I never knew about.

I think you and I just
automatically jump

to how we were raised.

- And what's wrong with that?

We turned out fine.
At least I did.

- I'm not saying that there's
anything wrong with it,

I'm just saying that there's
other options.

Let's explore some.

- Okay, like what?

- Well, for example, you have
Christian on a strict bedtime.

- And?

- And sometimes you have to let
kids test and explore

consequences to come to logical
conclusions on their own.

Let him stay up and deal with
the consequences

of getting up early.

Then, he'll start going to bed
on his own, no more tantrums.

- Okay.

So, do you plan on coming over
in the morning

when he's throwing a fit because
he's tired?

- Miranda, I have no problem
with that.

That's parenting.

- Okay, what else?

- You won't let Christian
play football.

Even that's a sport that
he'd much rather play.

- Well, that's because
it's our job as parents

to make decisions to keep
him safe, that's parenting.

- Okay. You also--
- You know what?

I thought this was supposed
to be a discussion

about how we can improve.

Not an attack on, you know,
on me being a mother.

- I'm not trying to attack you,

it's just that, you know,
Laura thinks that--

- Oh, here we go with Laura
again!

I am done humoring you.

I don't give a damn what
Laura thinks, okay?

And, you know, quite frankly,
let's just not do this,

this whole co-parenting thing,

because you and Laura?
You can go to hell.

Where's Christian?

- Really, Floyd?
- What?

- I don't know why you keep
checking, checking, checking

your watch.

- I just thought he would have
been here by now.

- Curtis is not coming,
I don't know where he is,

but he's not coming.

I've had dinner, and
I've started with dessert.

It's okay, he didn't even know.

I prepared this dinner, Floyd,

because of what you said
earlier.

- What? What did I say?

- What you said to Calvin.

When you said, "Divorce can
happen to anyone,"

and that it wasn't Calvin's
fault.

I don't agree with that.

- So you don't think it's his
fault?

- I think that marriage takes
two people

willing to work hard at keeping
things going.

It's when someone stops trying
that the marriage fails.

- So what does this have to do
with Curtis?

- Everything.

Curtis and I need to put more
effort

into keeping our flame lit.

- Fine, Ella.
Let me ask you this,

what can I do to make sure that
y'all's evening

turns out to be great?

- Well Floyd, we're gonna play
this game,

I tell you what. I'm gonna show
you how it goes.

- Okay.

- So, you choose a card.

So it says here that we start,
ooh,

by staring into each other's
eyes.

- Hm.
- ELLA: For one minute.

So we stare, we stare, we stare,

we're supposed to do this
quietly.

- Uh.
- ELLA: Quietly, hush.

- Okay, alright.
- ELLA: Hush.

Floyd.

- If Curtis was here, he
probably would tell you

that you got something on your
cheek right there.

- Floyd, if you not gonna be
serious,

then you just need to leave,
okay? You're not helping.

- Okay, alright,
I'll tell you what,

let me ask a question, then.

Let's see here.
Alright.

When did you first know that you
loved him? Hm?

- Oh, I first knew I loved
Curtis

the first night
of the county fair.

- Really?

- Yes. It was so amazing.
It was a wonderful night.

Curtis spent like $35--
- Curtis?

- ELLA: Showing off.
Showing off.

Trying to win a stuffed
alligator for me.

- So that was the first night
y'all met?

- The first night.
I knew I fell in love.

- Wow.

- ELLA: Pick another.

- So nice...
- ELLA: Pick another. It was.

- Alright, here we go.

Have you ever considered ending
things?

Well, we already know the answer
to that,

so there's no need to answer
that.

- Yeah, no,
well actually, I did.

Pick another one.

Pick another one.

- BOTH: I'm sorry.

- You go first.

- I should've never yelled
at you like that.

I'm trying to remember that,
you know,

this is hard for you too.

- Thank you.

And I'm sorry for yelling
at you, too.

Bottom line is we still have
these boys

that we gotta take care of.
- Exactly.

I mean, they're already
dealing with us splitting up,

we shouldn't add arguing to the
mix.

- No.

- And I have to tell you, you
are a really great mother.

And I'ma always care for you.
- Thank you.

- So are we gonna give this
co-parenting thing a try?

- Yeah.

But, there is just one little
thing.

- What?

- So, you know how you were
talking about

that whole like let the boys
stay up,

test their boundaries,
come to their own conclusions--

- Yeah.

- I told them they could stay up
all night, okay?

So I'm gonna go get my purse,

and I'll see you later,
because it's your night.

Good luck!

- You just gonna leave like
that?

- Oh, absolutely.
It's parenting.

- I got it.
- [door shuts]

- I got it.

- You were considering ending it
with Curtis?

- Yes.
Well...

- I mean, come on now,

y'all are Black love,
personified.

If it doesn't work out with you
two,

then the institution of marriage
is finished.

- Floyd, it was shortly after
Calvin was born.

I was exhausted,
overwhelmed,

and on my own most of the time,

because Curtis was away at the
firehouse.

And when he was at home,
I didn't feel like

he helped me out as much as I
needed him to.

- Well I mean, being a
firefighter's hard work, Ella.

I mean, I remember those times.
I mean he was working exhausted.

- He got a break.

He got to come home,
relax, recuperate.

You don't know how many times I
stood over Curtis

on those long nights with
Calvin,

and I just watched him sleep.

I just wanted to slap the drool
off of his face.

- Well, I'm glad you restrained
yourself.

- ELLA: I mostly did.

Curtis probably doesn't even
remember this,

but one night I went off.
- You went off?

- ELLA: I did.
- Just one night? Really?

- Yeah.
This one night,

I left Curtis and Calvin.
And I went to bed.

I got in bed, I just laid there,

I was too upset to sleep.

I just kept thinking,

"I might as well be doing this
by myself."

And then, I finally fell asleep

thinking I would just get me a
few hours in at least.

But when I woke up, it was
10 o'clock in the morning,

and I panicked, and I began to
run into the room,

and I saw Curtis and Calvin in
that rocking chair,

and I was like...

I also noticed that Curtis had
cleaned up,

sterilized the bottles, he even
did some laundry.

- So my boy did good, huh?
- ELLA: He did good.

But most importantly,
he let me sleep.

And everything began to look
better that morning.

And I've never looked back.
Ever.

I just needed him to help me.

Yeah, I was gonna leave him.

- Well, I'm glad you didn't.

I'm sure he is, too.

You know what?

This game is gonna be fun for
y'all.

Now, you know my boy's
competitive,

so you know he's gonna win.

But uh, even if you lose,
I still think you'll win.

- I win. I win.

- Ella! Hey!
Where are those cards?

- ELLA: What?

- FLOYD: I want to take them on
my date tonight!

I met this woman at the
Elk's Lodge, right?

She can cook, and she favors my
momma.

- ELLA: She favors who?

- She favors my momma!

She's even got all her front
teeth!

- ELLA: Well Floyd, she might be
the one!

- FLOYD: Found it!
I found it, Ella!

Tell Curtis I'll holler at him
tomorrow, alright?

Hey look here--
- ELLA: He's sleep.

- I'm sure you put him to
sleep--

- ELLA: Oh yeah.
- Nasty.

I think I finally figured out my
love language.

My love language is pot roast.

I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Don't get pregnant!

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪