All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S10E11 - Bearer of Bad News WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- MIRANDA: [laughing]

Oh, CJ, I know that these aren't yours.

- [scoffing] Very funny. No, those are Lisa's.

- Yeah, these ankles way too swole for those now.

Those used to be my favorite jeggings.

I used to wear 'em everywhere.

I mean, I would wear 'em to the club, roll out of bed,

and wear 'em to church.

- Y'all just let me know if you need me to take

anything out to the cars, okay?

- Oh, you have somewhere to be? - Yeah, my couch.

My "Five Deadly Venoms" DVD just came in the mail,

and I'm ready to sit back with my chips

and watch my flick. Whoa, is that my favorite shirt?

How'd that-- Hey!

These are my favorite socks!

- My bad, Mr. Payne.

I meant to throw those in the trash can.

- The trash?

How you gonna throw my clothes in the trash?

- Now, CJ, that shirt has so many holes in it,

it might as well be see-through, and those socks?

You should be ashamed.

- LISA: Yeah, I thought you just missed the trash can

when you was doing laundry.

- CJ: Well, thanks for the consideration, but no.

Well, let me know when y'all need something

to be taken back out to the car.

- Thanks for driving me over today.

I'm getting so big,

I can barely reach the steering wheel.

You know what,

I'ma teach you how to twerk later.

- Girl, I don't do no twerkings, all right,

and you supposed to stop twerking yourself.

- Malik should've called by now, y'all.

Uh...

I think I left my phone in the kitchen.

You mind grabbing it?

- Sure.

- Oh, and grab them pickles while you in there,

and don't forget the sugar packets.

- You doing too much.

- Hey, Lisa. Miranda.

- I gotta pee.

- Calvin. - I was hoping you'd be here.

I need to run something by you. - Okay?

- Well, you know Laura and I are planning the wedding, and...

- Let me guess, um, what is it this time?

Laura decided not to let her brother Marquez

be a bridesmaid and now she's one short

and needs someone to fill in, huh?

Does she need some help with that?

- Hell, nah.

I mean, not that she wouldn't want you to be a part of it.

- Mm-hmm.

- CALVIN: And not that you would want to be a part--

- MIRANDA: Just, just, Calvin, what is it?

- Christian's gonna be one of my groomsmen.

- Oh, you know, I think I would've gotten more excited

about thinking about Marquez trying to catch

the bridal bouquet.

- Sugar packets, I don't know why

I'm even doing this for this girl.

I mean, just look at her food.

- [phone chiming]

- That must be Malik.

"Let me know when he's asleep.

I hope you have it ready for me."

Who the hell is Andre?

And what is she supposed to have ready for him?

- ♪ ♪

- Why aren't you thinking of anyone but yourself

and what you want? - He's my son!

Why wouldn't he be a part of the wedding?

- He is our son!

- CALVIN: Okay, you need to calm down.

- MIRANDA: Don't tell me to calm down!

- CJ: Hey, hey! What is going on?

- He has the nerve to come in here and tell me

that he's gonna be a groomsman at his triflin'-ass wedding!

- Okay, y'all need to chill! Y'all to need to chill, okay?

'Cause my "Five Deadly Venoms" DVD just got here in the mail,

and I need to be able to chill, sit back, eat my chips,

and watch my flick, not be breaking up fights.

- You know what, I don't believe

you are being this insensitive.

- He's my son and this is a big day for me.

- You know what?

I'm not mad that you're moving on,

but how could you not even consider

how this is affecting everyone else?

- You know...

I don't know what's going on here,

but I know that y'all can work it out, okay?

It can't be that bad.

Now just tell me what's going on.

- Calvin came in here and told me

that Christian was gonna be a groomsman in his little wedding.

- And then she just flipped out. - Okay, everybody, sit down.

Now, Calvin, you asked Miranda a question,

and she said no. - But she--

- Which is well within her rights.

- That it is.

- And, Miranda, the right thing would've been for you

to consider the request.

- Why should I have to consider it?

Laura stole my family!

- No, Laura did not. Now, I've been telling you

you can't steal what is already gone.

Now, the family has been trying to stay out of this,

but you two gotta stop, all right?

I'ma need both of y'all to grow the hell up.

- Well, Miranda started it. - No, I didn't, you started it.

- Ah, you started it! - No, I didn't, you started it!

- Hey, hey! - You did.

- What'd I just say?

- You started it.

- You started it. - You started it.

- You started it. - Don't talk to me.

- Now we gonna sit here and we're gonna talk this through

like civilized adults.

Remember, what's it take to raise these kids?

- BOTH: Teamwork.

- Right.

Okay, Calvin?

- Well, like I told CJ,

I want Christian as one of my groomsmen.

- And I don't want him to be.

- But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

- Or twice, in your case.

- Mom!

- Miranda.

- CALVIN: Now, this is gonna be a part of our family history.

I want my son to be a part of that.

- Okay, Miranda,

why don't you want Christian to be a groomsman?

- Christian has been through enough.

This is too much for him, too much for him to process.

He's still trying to understand the divorce.

- Is it because you haven't processed?

- Miss Ella-- - Calvin!

Okay, go ahead, baby.

- No, that's it, I'm done.

- You know what, fine. - Calvin.

- He can just watch from the audience.

- Oh, no, no, no, no, I don't think you understand me.

Christian's not coming to your wedding.

- What in the hell do you mean he's not--

- Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh-uh, no, no, no, time out!

Okay, have a seat, Calvin.

Now, Miranda, that was a very harsh thing to say.

There really is no ugly in "team."

- No, it's okay, Ma.

It's the only way she knows how to be.

- Uh, Calvin, you and I both know that's not right.

That's not true, baby.

Don't forget, you two were once in love yourselves.

- Yeah, that was until she started showing

her true colors.

- Oh, me, showing my true colors?

- Yeah. - With your backstabbing ass?

- Who the hell are you calling a backstabbing--

- No, no, excuse me!

Once was enough.

Miranda, I know you have a lot of feelings

about what happened, but we will not be name-calling.

- I knew you'd take his side.

- This is not about taking sides.

It's all about right and wrong.

So let's everybody just calm down

and let's talk this thing through.

- You know what, this is my son,

and I don't need to ask your permission

for him to be a part of a significant moment in my life.

I was being courteous by asking you,

but that was a mistake. You know what?

- Calvin! - I'm done, I'm done.

- [sighing] Hey.

Miranda, mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm.

- [Miranda sobbing]

- ELLA: Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.

- This has been such a nightmare.

- I know. I know.

- Look, I'm sorry for cursing in your house,

and I'm sorry for my behavior, and I'm sorry,

I'm just sorry for all of this. But I don't wanna cry right now.

I don't wanna cry.

This has just been such a nightmare.

- I know.

But the thing about nightmares is they always come to an end

if you're willing to wake up and face reality.

Oh, Miranda, it's gonna be tough,

but you have to got to put your big girl pants on.

For this one, you do.

- Yeah.

- You've gotta figure out how to make this thing work,

'cause, baby, it's happening,

and the last thing you want is for Christian to feel like

he has to choose between you.

- I know. Miss Ella, my poor baby.

Maybe he's just-- - ELLA: It's okay.

- He's going through so much. - Yes.

- MIRANDA: And I don't think he understands.

- Yes.

- He's still just trying to process everything.

- Yes.

- I just wanna protect him. - ELLA: Yes.

- What do you think I should do?

- Miranda, baby, you have to work on forgiveness first.

- [Miranda scoffing] - ELLA: You do.

- But I don't think he deserves it.

- But that's not for him.

You are the one who carries that grudge,

and it's heavy.

And the only way you can put that down

is through forgiveness.

You have got to forgive.

It's for you.

- Okay. - You can do this, Miranda.

- Christian needs it, Calvin needs it,

and God knows I need it. - I'm sorry.

- ♪ ♪

- [CJ chuckling]

Yes, sir.

Lisa?

Lisa?

Oh, damn.

Face recognition.

Here we go.

Oh, I'm in.

Messages.

Andre.

"Why didn't you come through last yesterday?"

We gonna see how that go. Oh, my.

- [phone chiming] - Oh, that was quick!

Okay.

"I'm not sure he's ready.

"Sometimes when people get the first taste,

"they love it,

"and then others don't appreciate the product."

Oh, damn!

I can't let Malik go through this.

What...

- Mr. Payne! What are you doing?

- What am I doing? What are you doing?

- Uh...

I came to get some pickles.

- You can't do this. - Stop going through my phone.

- Don't be coy with me.

You're having a child, my grandchild,

and you out here in these streets doing this?

- What?

- Look, this family has dealt with this.

You can't do this.

Your baby and that text sounds like you and Andre

are close, real close, more than nine months close.

Like, is that even Malik's baby?

- LISA: Of course it's Malik's baby.

What do you think is going on?

- Sounds to me like Andre, your supplier, is supplying you

with more than just drugs.

- What?

Mr. Payne, Andre has a mobile car detailing company

where they come to you.

I know Malik likes to wash his own car

because you taught him how.

I just thought it would be a nice surprise

for the both of you.

- Oh. - Mm.

- Oh, okay.

Yeah, see, uh, when you said, right, and then, he said--

- Mm.

- Okay. Wow, God, I'm relieved.

- What do you think this is,

I'm some kind of crackhead stripper

who sleeps with drug dealers?

That I'm just passing this baby off on some random?

- Well, uh, since you put it that way...

- LISA: I can't wait to tell Malik!

- I'm sorry!

- ♪ ♪

- [knocking on door]

- What are you doing here?

- I, um...

I came by to tell you that I'm working on forgiving you.

- Forgiving me? You should be apologizing to me.

- Here's the thing.

I am not going to apologize for the way that I feel.

What you and Laura did to me was one of the most hurtful things

that you can do to another person.

- Miranda, we just fell in love.

- [scoffing]

You didn't just fall in love.

You made a choice.

Don't you get that?

- So you're here to do, what?

- I'm here to discuss

what you wanted to talk about with Christian.

I listened to your mom. I'm taking her suggestion.

Calvin, the answer is still no.

- Miranda, what about what I want?

I don't want him to look at wedding pictures

and wonder why he's not in them.

- Calvin, this isn't about you.

Do you know how hard that this has been on Christian?

No, you need to hear this.

Going from the divorce

to then getting married so quickly?

I have to explain to our son why his mommy and daddy

don't love each other anymore.

There are going to be plenty of opportunities

for you to take pictures.

- And what about Laura?

You don't think it's important for her

to build a relationship with him?

- I know you do.

But we're gonna have to take baby steps,

do you hear me?

- Look, Miranda, this hostility between us,

it's not good for anyone.

- Oh, I absolutely, I absolutely agree.

One day, one day, we may get there.

But I'm not there yet.

We are not there yet. - CALVIN: But that--

- And Calvin, no, this is not gonna happen

on your schedule.

- And I never should've asked you.

- Well, you know what,

answer this question for me, Calvin.

Why bother asking

if you weren't going to respect my decision?

- Miranda, you right, but I had to try.

I really want him up there with me.

- Huh.

You know what, Calvin?

I can tell you first hand.

We rarely get what we really want.

Excuse me.

- ♪ ♪

- That's what I'm talking about.

Kung fu night. Got my chips, check.

DVD, "Five Deadly Venoms."

Check.

Got my remote.

Check.

Kung--

Oh, damn.

- That's all you got to say?

- I tried to apologize to you earlier,

but you slammed the door on my face,

and you started playing loud twerk music.

- Twerking's a good workout.

It helps me keep in my aggression.

Maybe you should try it sometime.

- Oh, no, no, I don't do no twerking.

- LISA: Look, I know I'm not exactly what you and your family

had in mind for Malik,

but I have thoughts and feelings too.

- Lisa...

- No, I hear the little jokes y'all make.

"Lisa is so hoodrat.

"Lisa dumber than a box of hair.

"Lisa, all she do is put hot sauce on everything."

Well, I like hot sauce, and I'm not changing that

for you or anybody else. - Okay, I get it, yeah.

Hey, look, I like hot sauce, too, okay?

- Just because I'm 'bout that life

doesn't mean I don't have a heart, and I would--

- CJ: Lisa, Lisa, I'm sorry, okay?

I went through your phone, I read the messages,

and I judged you, and I'm sorry.

- It's not just that.

What kind of person do you think I am?

- You're right.

Truth is, I haven't taken the time to get to know you,

and that was a terrible assumption to make.

- I know me and Malik be going at it all the time,

but at the end of the day, he's bae.

I wouldn't do that to him.

I wouldn't do that to you or your family.

I was just trying to do something nice

for the both of you. - And you have.

You're making me a young grandfather.

Thank you.

And I'm sorry for going through your phone

and reading your messages.

That wasn't cool. - At all.

- At all.

And, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?

- Maybe.

- ♪ ♪

- Oh, slice! Look at that!

Oh, that's old-school. That is, yeah, with the guy.

- ♪ ♪

- ♪ And now twerk ♪

♪ Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek ♪

♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪

- LISA: Oh, I know what I want you to do!

- I know she don't think I'm about to start twerking.

Oh, hell no.

- ♪ ♪

- ♪ ♪

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