Original subtitles

Previously on Clean Slate...

Be present, curious, and non-judgemental.

I got this.

Child, we gonna have us a food strike.

Lamb chops? When the injustice stops.

- That's right. - Give it back, Jethro Sanchez.

- What are you gonna do, old man? - I'll bust you up.

Oh, big man!

My number?

I've done my time with troubled men.

Ella, what's on your face?

Dang pen must be leaking.

Well, it's 6:59 and the line is already around the corner.

All right, ladies. And gent.

Are we ready?

Okay, then. Let's vote.

Aww, I can't believe it. Little Miss New Job,

getting her Nepo Baby on.

Don't you dare call this a job.

I am simply helping out my dad and his employees

as they perform their civic duties.

Plus, Dad said I can keep any tips.

Well, you're doing a great not-job.

I'm driving voters all day.

The last thing I need is to hear them complain about the van.

Oh, sweetie, you know they're gonna find something to complain about.

Huh! No, they won't.

Because I have prepared for every possibility.

Bam! I got tissues, mouthwash, Depends...

and flares.

You're prepared for everything from incontinence

to a zombie apocalypse.

You got that right.

Okay, your Souls to the Polls is ready to roll, Louis.

I'm about to give these old ladies the best poll ride of their lives.

- Oh. - Wait. That came out wrong.

Louis, however you want to encourage people to vote, it's your business.

Just remember... consume plenty of fluids.

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Have fun.

- You voting? - Already did.

Mailed my absentee ballot in to New York City.

How about you? You voting?

Can't. Convicted felon.

But I can still root for my candidates from the sidelines.

You have candidates?

Oh, come on. You know who I'd vote for.

No, actually.

Come to think of it, I don't know anything about you

other than the fact that one day your daughter is going to be President.

True.

You know, come to think of it,

I don't know anything truly personal about you, either.

What do you say we rectify that

with a little game I like to call "Truth or Dare"?

Um, doesn't everybody call it "Truth or Dare"?

Well, yeah. But the way I framed it, it's more alluring.

This place could use a little... allure.

What a beautiful day to vote!

- Isn't that Harry Slate? - I thought he was dead!

Tameka, finally found a job, huh?

Good morning, everybody. All right, this is Election Day.

The most sacred day in the secular calendar

aside from Halle Berry's birthday.

And I get to spend it with my people.

How y'all doin'? Good morning, good morning.

And you know what...

You know, the last I checked,

today is November 7th, not January 6th.

Yeah, well, I'm not a traitor. I'm a Libertarian.

- Whatever. - Same old Harry.

What you doing? In this community, elders go first.

Yeah, well, I don't ascribe to rules

that infringe on my personal freedom.

What you need to do is ascribe your fringes into another neighborhood.

That's what you need to do.

- I'll ascribe fringes wherever I want. - I'll ascribe your mama's fringes.

Why are you two standing there like that? Get in the line!

Okay, people, listen up!

No soliciting. No vending.

No electioneering or political advertising

within earshot or eyeshot of this line.

No handing out food or water.

No handing out gum... chewing or bubble.

No entertainment.

And no handing gum to entertainers... chewing or bubble.

That's the only reason I came down here...

to hand out bubble gum to entertainers.

Ella, two machines are already down.

Oh. Come on, girl. Come on.

Hmpf.

No, sir. Not today.

I ain't letting this waka-flocka Libertarian get in front of me.

Ain't gonna happen today. Uh-uh.

This waka-flocka just made you a man cave.

Ah!

Mmm.

Ugh. Gross.

Truth or dare?

Definitely truth.

Ugh, more truth. You're such a girl.

Guilty as charged.

Okay. Truth, truth, truth...

All right.

Isn't fine art a total scam?

You mean a total scam I've literally built my entire life around?

All right, let me rephrase it.

You could drop a paint can on a canvas... wouldn't be worth anything.

Put Jackson Pollock's name on it, all of a sudden, it's worth $5 million.

Seems like a bunch of smoke and mirrors to me.

Abstract Expressionists all over the world

thank you for your in-depth analysis.

Come on.

Okay, yes, sometimes there's smoke and mirrors, but...

remember the kids in Opal's art class?

Oh, when they were showing their drawings, they just...

they were glowing.

They were able to access parts of themselves that...

that are too joyful or painful or complicated for words.

Art is a... is a window to the soul.

And that is definitely not smoke and mirrors.

I stand corrected.

Okay, your turn... truth or dare?

- I choose truth. - Oh, so you're choosing for me now?

Mm-hmm. When you were locked up...

did you ever drink toilet wine?

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Oh, I knew it! I knew it!

Ugh!

Okay...

What did it taste like?

A little like this. Just with hints of urine and regret.

Thank you for joining the Louis Limousine.

To ensure a pleasant ride, please refrain from shouting,

fighting, or throwing objects.

Some folks get on and suddenly turn into teenagers heading to church camp.

Seventy going on 17. Ain't that right?

Once you get inside, check in alphabetically.

If you don't know the alphabet, check in with yourself.

We just ran out of stickers.

What?!

The "I Voted" sticker is the lifeblood of the election process.

Not to mention, a selfie opp is why

half these people are in line in the first place.

Pretend I'm handing you stickers.

What? Really?

Here are hundreds of stickers.

And plenty more where those came from. A real Sticker Bonanza.

Marcy didn't get a break, and now her blood sugar is low.

Tell her to grab a Swedish fish out of my purse pocket and hang tough.

Are you "in charge"?

Indeed I am.

You can go ahead and retire those air quotes.

I'm here to protect the election and prevent interference.

I'm a citizen watcher.

'Cause of the Constitution. You ever heard of it, lady?

My name is Ella Jane Dunbar.

Now, I don't know what little A.M. radio station

told you to pause your Nintendo to come here,

but I can assure you

that if anyone interferes with my polling place,

you will watch me put my foot up in their ass.

Now take your little Rambo outfit and go back home to your mama's basement.

It's a guest house.

$20 to switch places.

21 and all the bubblegum you can chew.

You know they're not gonna let us walk in like this.

No, they are not. You know what they're gonna do?

Put your disrespectful butt right behind me.

Because this is my community, and these are my people.

- And my jilted lovers. - You don't have any jilted lovers, okay?

Man, I have jilted so many.

I'm a top-five jilter in this county.

I told you two to get in line, not bribe the voters.

- I'm a pillar of this community. - I was here first.

I don't have time for this mess.

Pick a number between one and ten.

Six.

Wow! First guess!

Wait a minute. I didn't get to pick a number.

You can't get any closer to six than six.

Ella, District 53 voters got sent to a closed polling location.

- By "mistake." - Oh, sure.

Just another simple "mistake."

A few of them have been rerouted here.

That's not a few.

That's a flood.

Oh, my!

Holy Moses, help us all.

Why should we have to wait longer? I was in line for hours.

You don't get no special treatment just 'cause your polling place shut down.

If you can't handle the wait, go home.

Tameka!

Nobody is going home.

District 53 folks, form a second line.

We'll merge you in zipper-style.

So when we get up there, somebody else is gonna get in front of me?

Harry, I am doing the best I can.

Man, leave her alone. She's a member of our community.

Did you say "our community?"

You've lived here for two years.

You don't even wave. You don't even say hello.

You don't even wave and say hello.

Matter of fact, you do a zero combination of waving and saying hello.

Oh, I say hello. Just not to you.

And you want to know why?

'Cause the first time I met you, all you had to say was

"Better not park on my lawn."

And you'd better not.

Man, you had it out for me since the day I moved in to my house.

You don't even know whose house you moved into.

The Franks lived there. They were my neighbors for 38 years.

Yeah, and they deserve a medal for that.

They were looking to sell, and I was looking to buy.

Two self-interests aligning.

Whatever.

Did you just push me?

I'm 6'4" and three bills.

If I pushed you...

you would've known it.

That was a slight bump.

Yeah, well, why don't you slightly bump

someone your own remarkable size.

Actually, with a touch of vodka, it wouldn't be half bad.

All right, stop stalling. Truth or dare?

Truth.

You seeing anyone?

No. Kind of hard to find a penthouse man

in a town filled with three-story buildings.

Truth or dare?

Truth.

Have you ever dated a trans woman?

Not yet.

What about you?

I only like men.

Noted. Truth or dare?

Dare.

Go on a date with me.

You own a penthouse I'm not aware of?

Can we please pipe down?

I'm trying to watch the road.

Change the radio. I want to hear that Cardi B. Hey!

We are esteemed elders, not giggling pubescents.

Put on some jazz.

Fine, Jazz. Jazz it is.

I don't want to hear that.

Who is throwing candy at the driver?

Ow! All right, that is enough!

Lord help me.

Everybody out!

So, who was it, hmm?

Who was flinging Werther's Originals at me?

You know it wasn't Bertha. She only has that cheap old candy.

Y'all know who I'm picking up next, right?

The Dialysis Divas.

That's right.

Most reliable voting bloc in Mobile for 60 years.

And I know you don't want them finding out you made them late.

Sorry, Louis.

Okay. We'll behave.

Now, everyone back in the van. Come on.

Damn. Now I want a Werther's.

Thanks. Come on.

Okay, look, I can respect the fact that you don't wanna go out with me.

Here we go.

But can you at least tell me why?

I'm a big boy. I can take it.

You live with your kid.

You live with your dad.

You work at a car wash.

You don't work at all.

I avoid toxicity.

Who's toxic?

Every man I've ever been with.

Well, if everywhere you go smells like shit, time to check your own shoe.

Says the felon.

Says the runaway.

You're rude.

I'm honest.

I deserve way better than you.

Sir, no turntables.

Please, no performing!

Calm down.

Oh, for the love of baby Jesus. No open flames!

- Whatever, lady. - Did any of you people listen

to any of my rules?

- Man, would you stop? - Stop touching me!

Get off me!

Miguel, Harry... what is going on here?!

GI Jose here, he's trying to kill me.

You are acting like a child.

Well, I wouldn't be screaming and carrying on like this

if you just did your job.

Excuse me?

Well, look at this, Ella. It's a mess out here!

You're just bad at this.

In any community, that look means you're about to get your ass kicked.

Shut up. Get out of the way.

Harry Slate...

Do you solemnly swear to perform the duties of election officer

according to the law?

Try to do what now?

I heard "yes," so...

By the power vested in me by the state of Alabama,

I now proclaim you official electoral inspector.

Huh?

You do the work!

All right.

I can do this.

All right. All right now.

New sheriff in town.

Everybody not named "Miguel"

come on down to the front.

Step over there.

Come on down. Come on in.

He... he's not really...

Stay.

Um, Mack, I'm...

so sorry about what I said earlier.

It's just this...

whole Alabama thing, it's temporary for me, you know?

No need to apologize.

Glad I humiliated myself by asking.

What is that?

NeNe Leakes?

Hey, local people, any chance I can get a wash?

Hell yeah. I'm on it.

Why are you even here?

And more importantly, why are you running for Water Commissioner?

Why not?

Hey! You know my campaign slogan!

We just left a wild polling place.

People were fighting and screaming, throwing food at the bus.

A devastating commentary on the state of the American democracy

if you ask me.

More devastating than celebrities running for public office?

People from the country club moved me here,

put me on the ballot, and think I'm gonna privatize water.

But they're gonna shit a brick

when I announce my Water for the People Initiative.

Power to the people. Okay!

You see? Some of us Southerners have plenty to offer.

This is a big ass bus. You think you got enough muscle?

She's right. I could use the extra hands.

Or are you too good for this, too?

Watch and learn. Give me that sprayer.

♪ Jesus is the President of America ♪

People, have you lost your damn minds?

Are y'all three fries short of a Happy Meal?

Religion is dead, you idiot!

Well, I'll see you in Hell then, libtard.

You got the wrong person on the right day.

Man, you need to get that old lady back.

Hell no. I got everything under control.

Fire!

Wow.

We need to call that old lady back.

Hey, be sure to keep that nozzle pointed down

so dirt doesn't shoot back on to the bus.

You don't think I worked here as a kid?

I could give a TED talk on these mangy sprayers.

I'm hearing a lot of animosity. You two screwin'?

Hey, hey. Remember, straight strokes.

You don't wanna get swirl marks.

How does a girl from the city not remember things like that?

Are you calling me bougie?

My edges!

Oh, my bad. No, it was an accident, I swear.

It was an accident, I swear.

It's on.

Yep. Definitely screwin'.

Ella!

Harry, what on Earth?

How are you already this deep into a beauty regimen?

I'm efficient.

What do you want?

The voting line, it's chaos down there, and I need you to come back and fix it.

You want me to come back and fix what you broke?

No, the system broke it, Ella.

Yeah, I did too.

So you need me then?

I need you desperately. The whole community does.

Oh, come on. I've been taking care of this community for 42 years.

Marching, voting, baking, feeding everybody's dirty little kids.

And while everybody else gets to just show up, complain,

and grab their little stickers,

I am there working my finger to the bone trying to uphold

the one thing that gives our people a voice.

I've given so much I got nothing left for myself.

So, Mr. Harry, if you want to be a real pillar of this community,

you carry the load.

You're right, Ella.

And I'm sorry I, uh, interrupted your sexy tub time.

Me too.

Ella, you don't have to come back and fix things.

But did you vote?

Shit!

Let me just say what an honor it is

to shuttle The Dialysis Divas.

Such a lovely, dignified, quiet group of community elders

who rarely throw things. Gonna be a great day.

Of course.

License and registration.

Okay.

Um, what seems to be the problem, officer?

I'm not even driving.

You're blocking the street.

Isn't this a loading zone?

I'm sorry, I thought I left room. Just taking these ladies to vote.

This van is registered to a church.

It's our church. I'm the choir director there.

Just using the van as a voting shuttle today.

Go voting!

I'm gonna need to confiscate this vehicle.

What? Why?

For all I know, it's stolen.

You think I stole this van?

Then kidnapped 12 old ladies to take them voting?

Sir, either I confiscate the vehicle, or it's handcuffs.

I'll let you make the decision.

I can't believe this!

Polls close in 20 minutes!

Y'all haven't missed a vote in 60 years.

I marched on Selma, and I'll march here, too.

- Can't get rid of us that easy. - I know that's right.

They've underestimated our resolve.

And our supply of compression socks. Bam!

Oh, my God!

I tried to get it back, Ella, but it was just too far gone.

We are really living in End Times.

I didn't realize how you were holding things together.

Look!

The Dialysis Divas!

Those are the pillars of our community.

And they've been holding us up for a long time.

♪ Will the circle be unbroken? ♪

♪ Be unbroken ♪

Oh.

Well, that was weird.

No weirder than most things these days.

NeNe Leakes knows how to tip.

Hmm.

Oh, I gotta get Opal.

Go. I'll finish up.

- Are you sure? - Yeah. I got it.

Thank you. I'm a mess.

She's rich, bitch.

You know...

about the whole date thing...

forget I even mentioned it.

Uh-huh. Yep. Forgotten.

He drank wine from a toilet.

He drank wine from a toilet.

He drank wine from a toilet.

On the next Clean Slate...

Girl, this is Mardi Gras. You got drunkards out there,

you got criminals out there, and people who click Reply All for no damn reason.

Opal's made a real friend.

How about a slumber party?

Whoa! Easy, tiger!

It's been nice and all, but I like to move slow.

Desiree is getting mouth-to-mouth by some random man!

Good for her!

How do I get in this thing?

Back there.

Maybe if you just... Can you help her?