All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S09E19 - The Package WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,689 --> 00:00:04,275 - I'm throwing your mama a surprise birthday party. 2 00:00:04,379 --> 00:00:06,206 - What do you want us to do? - Just make it happen. 3 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:07,379 - Let me tell you about waiting-- 4 00:00:07,482 --> 00:00:10,482 - She a real deal, yo. - --and being abstinent. 5 00:00:10,586 --> 00:00:12,068 - Make sure there's lots of flowers. 6 00:00:12,172 --> 00:00:13,206 Don't forget to pick up the cake. 7 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:15,034 And she loves choirs. 8 00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:17,172 It's gonna be a beautiful anniversary party. 9 00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,793 - Birthday. - Yeah. Yes. 10 00:00:18,896 --> 00:00:21,620 - There is something so special about waiting for the man 11 00:00:21,724 --> 00:00:23,344 that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. 12 00:00:23,448 --> 00:00:25,482 - Ah! - Get out of here! 13 00:00:25,586 --> 00:00:27,206 You are not to see that boy again. 14 00:00:27,310 --> 00:00:28,724 - I will, Dad, this is crazy. 15 00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:31,379 - You need to calm down. - I need--no, I need my ax. 16 00:00:33,620 --> 00:00:39,551 - ♪ 17 00:00:42,379 --> 00:00:43,586 - [whispers] What are you doing? 18 00:00:48,275 --> 00:00:50,517 Boy! - Hey, what's up? 19 00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:53,206 What's up? - What are you doing here? 20 00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,689 - I just wanted to see you. - You know my parents 21 00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:57,068 are home, right? 22 00:00:57,172 --> 00:00:59,034 - Hey, they upstairs, I ain't worried about that. 23 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:00,896 - You should be worried about that. 24 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,413 My daddy got an ax. 25 00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:05,517 - Daddy got a whole bunch of axes. 26 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:08,137 - Boy, listen to me, you can not just be popping up here. 27 00:01:08,241 --> 00:01:09,344 - But I wanted to see you. 28 00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,551 I miss you. - I miss you, too. 29 00:01:12,655 --> 00:01:13,586 - And I love you. 30 00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:15,137 - Yeah, thank you, I love you too. 31 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,689 - Well, that's why I wanted to see you. 32 00:01:18,793 --> 00:01:20,482 - Listen, you're about to get me in serious trouble, 33 00:01:20,586 --> 00:01:22,517 okay? So you need to-- you need to--you need to-- 34 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,000 - Baby, we are grown. 35 00:01:24,103 --> 00:01:25,931 - [laughs] 36 00:01:26,034 --> 00:01:28,517 Okay, alright, that's hilarious. 37 00:01:29,965 --> 00:01:32,310 Please, do not let my dad hear you talking like that. 38 00:01:34,241 --> 00:01:35,655 - Is he still tripping about me seeing you? 39 00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:36,965 - Yes. 40 00:01:37,068 --> 00:01:38,724 - KALEB: Man, that's crazy. 41 00:01:38,827 --> 00:01:40,448 - Sorry, there's nothing I can do. 42 00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,241 - Well, when am I gonna see you again? 43 00:01:42,344 --> 00:01:44,137 - I don't know, probably at school. 44 00:01:44,241 --> 00:01:45,620 - At school? That's days away. 45 00:01:45,724 --> 00:01:47,551 - Kaleb, you need to-- you need to go, bro. 46 00:01:47,655 --> 00:01:49,620 - O--o--okay, but can I just ask you a question? 47 00:01:49,724 --> 00:01:52,034 - You've been standing here asking me a lot of questions. 48 00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:57,758 - Why don't you never wanna come to my house? 49 00:01:57,862 --> 00:02:00,103 - I can't do that. [laughs] 50 00:02:00,206 --> 00:02:02,034 - Why not? Come on, we'd be alone. 51 00:02:02,137 --> 00:02:03,551 We can watch some movies. 52 00:02:03,655 --> 00:02:06,000 - Yeah, no, no, no. 53 00:02:06,103 --> 00:02:07,620 - Why not? 54 00:02:07,724 --> 00:02:09,551 - 'Cause you ain't gonna be just trying to sit 55 00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:12,068 and chill and just watch movies. 56 00:02:12,172 --> 00:02:14,172 - What you mean? - Don't stand here 57 00:02:14,275 --> 00:02:15,827 acting like you don't know you. 58 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,965 - I don't, why don't you just tell me? 59 00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:22,482 - No, you--you be wanting to kiss and... 60 00:02:22,586 --> 00:02:24,172 - What's wrong with kissing? 61 00:02:24,275 --> 00:02:27,758 - That--kissing leads to...you know. 62 00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:30,206 - Oooh. - Yeah. 63 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,862 - That thing you scared of. 64 00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,379 - Hey, I'm not scared. 65 00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:34,965 - You're a little scared. 66 00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,344 - No, I'm a respectful. 67 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,620 I respect myself. There's a difference. 68 00:02:38,724 --> 00:02:39,896 And I wanna wait. 69 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,448 - I mean, baby, I love you, 70 00:02:41,551 --> 00:02:44,517 and you love me, so what are we waiting for? 71 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,724 - We're waiting for me to be ready. 72 00:02:46,827 --> 00:02:49,724 - Uh, alright. 73 00:02:49,827 --> 00:02:51,206 You ready? 74 00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,620 - [laughs] - [scoffs] 75 00:02:53,724 --> 00:02:55,000 - I don't know, let me ask myself. 76 00:02:55,103 --> 00:02:58,413 Self? Huh? You ready? 77 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:03,103 No. Okay. I ain't ready. 78 00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:06,241 So you need to go now. 79 00:03:06,344 --> 00:03:08,034 - Hey, look, I'm-- alright, I'mma go. 80 00:03:08,137 --> 00:03:09,310 I'mma go. - Okay, good. 81 00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:11,724 - But--but I'm just saying, we love each other, 82 00:03:11,827 --> 00:03:14,137 kinda feel like maybe we should show each other. 83 00:03:14,241 --> 00:03:15,482 - We do, you just said, "I love you." 84 00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,482 I love you, too. - No, no, no, no. 85 00:03:17,586 --> 00:03:21,965 I'm talking about, like, going,like, all the way. 86 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,413 I'm saying all the way. 87 00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,586 - Didn't I just tell you my daddy had an ax? 88 00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:31,655 Look, I gotta go. 89 00:03:31,758 --> 00:03:34,241 Huh? Huh? Ma'am? 90 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,000 Yes, ma'am. 91 00:03:38,103 --> 00:03:39,379 - I ain't here nothing. - I gotta go. 92 00:03:39,482 --> 00:03:42,103 It's--I gotta go, my mama calling me. I'm coming, Mama! 93 00:03:42,206 --> 00:03:44,172 I'm coming, I ain't gonna keep you waiting. 94 00:03:44,275 --> 00:03:46,275 - I don't hear nothing. - You need to leave. 95 00:03:46,379 --> 00:03:48,068 Go, go. Boy, leave me alone. 96 00:03:48,172 --> 00:03:50,448 - Okay, dang. 97 00:03:50,551 --> 00:03:52,724 - [sighs] 98 00:03:52,827 --> 00:03:54,275 Mama, I'm coming! 99 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,413 I'm coming, Mama! 100 00:03:58,862 --> 00:04:04,586 - ♪ 101 00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:12,551 ♪ 102 00:04:14,137 --> 00:04:18,965 ♪♪ 103 00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:25,310 - ♪ 104 00:04:26,275 --> 00:04:29,000 - Ella, you switch my belt? 105 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,448 It doggone shrunk. 106 00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:35,448 - Hey, Pops. - Hey. 107 00:04:35,551 --> 00:04:36,655 - CALVIN: You wanted to see me? 108 00:04:36,758 --> 00:04:37,724 - Yeah. - What's up? 109 00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:41,448 - Yeah, um, I'm taking your mama to, uh-- 110 00:04:41,551 --> 00:04:44,551 to a dinner for her birthday. 111 00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:46,482 - You told us to plan the party. 112 00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:50,551 - I know. I changed my mind. 113 00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:52,344 - Why? 114 00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:56,172 - Mmm, I thought this--I thought this'd be more better, 115 00:04:56,275 --> 00:04:58,137 more intimate. 116 00:04:58,241 --> 00:04:59,689 - You saw the bill. 117 00:04:59,793 --> 00:05:03,103 - That thing high as hell. 118 00:05:03,206 --> 00:05:06,068 - Pops, it's $900. 119 00:05:06,172 --> 00:05:09,827 - Nine hundred--it's high as hell. 120 00:05:09,931 --> 00:05:11,827 'Cause I know it adds--please. 121 00:05:11,931 --> 00:05:14,172 - Isn't it worth it for mama? 122 00:05:14,275 --> 00:05:17,413 - I don't love your mama like that. 123 00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:18,275 - Pops. 124 00:05:18,379 --> 00:05:20,931 - I--I barely love you. 125 00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:22,241 - Are you kidding? 126 00:05:22,344 --> 00:05:26,586 - Matter of fact, there's nobody I love $900 worth. 127 00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:30,344 - You're the worst. - Thank you, I try. 128 00:05:30,448 --> 00:05:32,827 - I'm gonna make sure we remember that for your birthday. 129 00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,793 - Oh, please, y'all ain't never got me nothing anyway. 130 00:05:37,241 --> 00:05:39,275 - Pops, we got you a watch last year. 131 00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:43,068 - Uh, that ain't real. 132 00:05:43,172 --> 00:05:44,275 - Pops, it is. 133 00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:47,655 - Well, why my arm green? 134 00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:50,551 - You need to bathe. 135 00:05:50,655 --> 00:05:52,413 - You the worst. 136 00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:53,758 - Look, Pops, what do you want? 137 00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,206 Why am I here? 138 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,586 - Listen, your mom and I are driving down 139 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,379 to Savannah for, uh-- for the dinner. 140 00:05:59,482 --> 00:06:01,206 - Does she know that? - Yeah. 141 00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,655 She'll know when I tell her. 142 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:07,137 - Pops, Mama don't like going nowhere with you. 143 00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:08,862 - Uh, yes, she does. 144 00:06:08,965 --> 00:06:10,241 - No, she don't. 145 00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:12,413 - Yes, she do. - CALVIN: No, she don't. 146 00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:14,413 You don't drive well, you fall asleep, 147 00:06:14,517 --> 00:06:15,758 and you eat at the wheel. 148 00:06:15,862 --> 00:06:18,034 - What's wrong with that? 149 00:06:18,137 --> 00:06:20,586 Look, your mama gonna be fine. 150 00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:21,413 - Okay. 151 00:06:21,517 --> 00:06:24,310 Well, where's your will? 152 00:06:24,413 --> 00:06:25,551 - What are you talking about? 153 00:06:25,655 --> 00:06:27,172 - Oh, I wanna know what I'm getting. 154 00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:28,620 - You ain't in it. 155 00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,862 - Really? That's low. 156 00:06:32,965 --> 00:06:35,206 - That's the truth. 157 00:06:35,310 --> 00:06:37,344 - See, why did you ask me to come over here? 158 00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:40,103 - Okay, look, I need you to wait for a package for me. 159 00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:41,482 They ain't coming 'til after 5:00 160 00:06:41,586 --> 00:06:43,620 and we'll be gone by then. 161 00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:46,448 - What? Well, what is it? - It's a surprise for your mama. 162 00:06:46,551 --> 00:06:47,827 - What? - Yeah. 163 00:06:47,931 --> 00:06:49,896 I got it. 164 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,137 It's coming from Paris. 165 00:06:52,241 --> 00:06:55,241 - [laughing] Wait. 166 00:06:55,344 --> 00:06:56,862 - What? What? 167 00:06:56,965 --> 00:07:00,000 - I know you ain't ordered nothing from Paris, France. 168 00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:01,517 - Paris, Texas. 169 00:07:03,931 --> 00:07:06,172 - Pops. - What? 170 00:07:06,275 --> 00:07:07,724 Hey, it's nice. She gonna love it. 171 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,517 - Okay, well, why can't they leave it at the door? 172 00:07:10,620 --> 00:07:12,620 - But it's too expensive. 173 00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:16,034 Look, will you just stay, son, do what I ask you to do, please? 174 00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:17,448 - Pops! - CURTIS: Son! 175 00:07:17,551 --> 00:07:19,551 I just need you to wait here. 176 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:22,310 After all I've done for you. 177 00:07:22,413 --> 00:07:24,344 Many years. 178 00:07:24,448 --> 00:07:29,103 Just in school--22 years in school, tuition, 179 00:07:29,206 --> 00:07:31,655 and books you didn't read. 180 00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:33,655 And tuition. 181 00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:37,068 Paying your teachers off to get your grades okay. 182 00:07:37,172 --> 00:07:42,103 Sleeping with the teacher-- one of 'em. The cute one. 183 00:07:42,206 --> 00:07:45,517 - You done, Pops? - Yes. 184 00:07:45,620 --> 00:07:48,103 And stop eating my watermelon. 185 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:50,206 See, even more I'm doing for you. 186 00:07:50,310 --> 00:07:52,689 - Pops! - Sssh. 187 00:07:52,793 --> 00:07:54,758 - What? Wait, she don't know you taking her 188 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:57,965 to Savannah? - It's a surprise. 189 00:07:58,068 --> 00:08:00,275 No, I'm kidding, yeah, she know we're going somewhere. 190 00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:02,482 - Then how is it a surprise? 191 00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:05,413 - Will you let me handle this, okay? 192 00:08:05,517 --> 00:08:08,448 I know how to handle these broads, okay? 193 00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:11,172 I've been tricking broads since before you was born. 194 00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:14,241 I'm a broad tricker. 195 00:08:14,344 --> 00:08:17,758 Trickalicious is what they called me. 196 00:08:17,862 --> 00:08:21,689 I've been doing it to your mama since before we got married. 197 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,586 And she still don't know she being tricked. 198 00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:27,551 And you better not say nothing. 199 00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:29,413 - I don't know why she stays with you. 200 00:08:29,517 --> 00:08:32,655 - 'Cause I'm a catch. 201 00:08:32,758 --> 00:08:34,344 - 'Cause she's been tricked. 202 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:35,931 Oh, yeah, you were catching something. 203 00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:37,482 - ELLA: Curtis! 204 00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:38,689 - Ssh, don't do-- - ELLA: Curtis? 205 00:08:38,793 --> 00:08:40,310 - Hey, babe. - Hey, Mama. 206 00:08:40,413 --> 00:08:43,551 Happy Birthday. - Thank you. 207 00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:44,620 Hey, baby, what you doing here? 208 00:08:44,724 --> 00:08:48,344 - Oh, Pops, asked me to wai-- [groans] 209 00:08:48,448 --> 00:08:51,620 - I love him so much, that's why he here. 210 00:08:51,724 --> 00:08:53,517 I needed to see him. - Pops, 211 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,034 you're squeezing me too tight. 212 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:58,620 You're bruising my ribs. 213 00:08:58,724 --> 00:08:59,758 - Curtis! - That's so you shut 214 00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,827 the hell up. - Okay. Okay. 215 00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:05,689 - Alright, alright, okay, okay. 216 00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:07,586 Come on, Curtis, can we go? 217 00:09:07,689 --> 00:09:10,103 - Mama, where you going? - Calvin. 218 00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:12,310 - I just asked. 219 00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:14,344 - I don't know. 220 00:09:14,448 --> 00:09:16,724 I don't know. - Looking all good. 221 00:09:16,827 --> 00:09:19,275 - [laughs] - CALVIN: All dressed up. 222 00:09:19,379 --> 00:09:22,206 - Oh, me? - Yeah, you. 223 00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:24,517 [laughs] 224 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:28,862 - Your daddy wants to surprise me for my birthday. 225 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:33,482 - Oh, that's--that's so-- that's--that's nice. 226 00:09:33,586 --> 00:09:35,551 That's nice. - I know. I know. I know. 227 00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:37,137 Come on, Curtis, let's go. 228 00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:42,448 Pray for me. 229 00:09:42,551 --> 00:09:45,413 - Baby, God don't know him. 230 00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:47,275 - Really, Pops? 231 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,275 - Yeah, every time you call him to call and ask him things, 232 00:09:50,379 --> 00:09:54,172 the ID say "caller unknown." 233 00:09:54,275 --> 00:09:55,827 - Curtis! 234 00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:57,482 - Here. 235 00:09:57,586 --> 00:09:58,586 - What is this? 236 00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:01,758 - For your stomach. 237 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,344 - I don't--I don't need this. 238 00:10:03,448 --> 00:10:04,241 - It's for the ride. 239 00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:05,827 - No, it's a short ride. 240 00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:08,862 - No, no, no. 241 00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:10,068 Enjoy. 242 00:10:10,172 --> 00:10:11,482 - Thank you. 243 00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,172 Come on, Curtis. 244 00:10:14,275 --> 00:10:16,793 - [groans] 245 00:10:16,896 --> 00:10:18,103 - Love you. 246 00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:19,620 - ELLA AND CURTIS: Love you. 247 00:10:19,724 --> 00:10:22,586 - I love you too, Mom. 248 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,103 - Get the door. - See ya, Ma. 249 00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,448 Happy Birthday. 250 00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,931 - Thank you. 251 00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:33,379 - That's your husband. 252 00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:35,931 - Curtis! 253 00:10:36,034 --> 00:10:37,793 Curtis! 254 00:10:37,896 --> 00:10:39,620 You better open that car door. 255 00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:41,379 - ♪ 256 00:10:41,482 --> 00:10:42,586 - You two for none. 257 00:10:47,241 --> 00:10:48,586 - ♪ 258 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,000 - Man, just sitting here-- - [phone ringing] 259 00:10:54,137 --> 00:10:55,000 - Hello? 260 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:58,206 Hey, what's up? 261 00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:01,103 What's going on, man? How you doing? 262 00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:02,827 Say what? 263 00:11:02,931 --> 00:11:04,724 Wait, today? 264 00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:06,896 Uh, man, you gotta be kidding me. 265 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,586 - Hey, what's good, Cousin Calvin? 266 00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:10,448 - Hey. - JASMINE: How you doing? 267 00:11:10,551 --> 00:11:12,068 - Miss the game. I'm on the phone. 268 00:11:14,482 --> 00:11:15,896 - Rude. 269 00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:19,137 - Wait, are you sure it's today? 270 00:11:19,241 --> 00:11:21,172 - I just came to bring Auntie Ella's dishes back 271 00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:24,103 from Sunday, don't mind me. 272 00:11:24,206 --> 00:11:27,724 - Man, I can't believe I'm gonna miss the game, brah. 273 00:11:27,827 --> 00:11:30,793 Ooh, wait. Maybe I won't. 274 00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:33,448 I got an idea. Hey, no, I'll be there. I'll be there. 275 00:11:33,551 --> 00:11:35,000 Yeah, cool. 276 00:11:35,103 --> 00:11:36,965 Jasmine. 277 00:11:37,068 --> 00:11:41,034 Hey. How are you? - Huh-uh, no, no, no. 278 00:11:42,896 --> 00:11:45,413 Don't even try to be nice to me now. 279 00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:48,413 - What'd I do? 280 00:11:48,517 --> 00:11:50,379 - You didn't see how rude you just were to me 281 00:11:50,482 --> 00:11:54,448 like 5.6 seconds ago? 282 00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:56,620 - My bad, I'm sorry. 283 00:11:56,724 --> 00:12:00,862 You know I love you. I love you. 284 00:12:00,965 --> 00:12:03,413 Charge it to my head, not my heart. 285 00:12:03,517 --> 00:12:04,551 - Mm-hmm. - I love you. 286 00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,793 - Yeah, I love you, too. 287 00:12:06,896 --> 00:12:08,275 Your body, your head, and your heart. 288 00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:10,620 - Wait, wait, wait, where you going? 289 00:12:10,724 --> 00:12:13,172 - I'm going home. - No, stay. 290 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,206 - Why would I stay here? 291 00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:16,517 This place smell like Uncle Curtis. 292 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,172 - Because I need to go. 293 00:12:18,275 --> 00:12:20,793 - Okay, well, that's why a brilliant man invented locks. 294 00:12:20,896 --> 00:12:22,827 Just lock the door behind-- - CALVIN: No, no, no, no. 295 00:12:22,931 --> 00:12:26,103 You don't--you don't-- you don't understand. 296 00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:27,413 - What is it? 297 00:12:27,517 --> 00:12:29,310 - See, I need you stay because my pops wants me to wait 298 00:12:29,413 --> 00:12:32,448 for a package, but I need to go meet Pooky and Peanut. 299 00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:35,517 - You got to be kidding me. 300 00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,724 - What? 301 00:12:36,827 --> 00:12:40,241 - They're still using them names? 302 00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,931 - Yeah. 303 00:12:42,034 --> 00:12:45,517 - Cousin Calvin, ain't y'all like 40 now? 304 00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:50,344 Who heard of a 40-year-old Pooky and Peanut? 305 00:12:50,448 --> 00:12:52,068 - Jasmine? - Uh-huh? 306 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,344 I'm just saying, y'all need to grow up. 307 00:12:54,448 --> 00:12:55,482 - Look, come on, Jasmine, 308 00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:56,758 Pops said it'll be here in a little bit. 309 00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:58,931 Can you please stay and wait for it? 310 00:12:59,034 --> 00:13:00,758 - What is it? What is--what is the package? 311 00:13:00,862 --> 00:13:03,172 - I don't know, something he said he brought from Paris. 312 00:13:03,275 --> 00:13:05,482 - I know Uncle Curtis-- the one I know didn't buy 313 00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:08,551 nothing from Paris, France. 314 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:12,551 He don't even know what Paris, France is. 315 00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:15,758 - He said Paris, Texas. - Okay. 316 00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:18,275 Well, in that case, it's probably cheap. 317 00:13:18,379 --> 00:13:21,172 - I know, right? - Cool. 318 00:13:21,275 --> 00:13:25,620 So whatever is, it's-- - No, no, Pops told me to stay. 319 00:13:25,724 --> 00:13:27,793 - Since when you start listening to what he say? 320 00:13:27,896 --> 00:13:30,103 - Come on, Jasmine. - Cousin Calvin, 321 00:13:30,206 --> 00:13:34,137 he told you to stay. That's the keyword: you. 322 00:13:34,241 --> 00:13:37,000 "Calvin" don't sound nothing like "Jasmine." 323 00:13:37,103 --> 00:13:39,482 - Come on, Cuz. 324 00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:43,137 - You know what? I will do this because I really love you. 325 00:13:43,241 --> 00:13:45,206 I think you're amazing. 326 00:13:45,310 --> 00:13:47,517 How much you paying? 327 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,068 - Really? 328 00:13:50,551 --> 00:13:51,448 Okay, I'll give you two bucks. 329 00:13:51,551 --> 00:13:53,413 - [laughs] Nah. 330 00:13:53,517 --> 00:13:54,551 What I look like, five? 331 00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:57,551 My appetite bigger than that. 332 00:13:57,655 --> 00:13:59,275 - Alright, ten. 333 00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:01,275 - Oh. 334 00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:02,931 Listen, if you want me to consider staying, 335 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:05,275 I'm gonna need at least... 336 00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,793 three...hundred. 337 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,344 - I'll give you $15. 338 00:14:16,448 --> 00:14:18,275 - Deal. 339 00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:19,482 - Cool. 340 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:22,896 - Uh-uh, uh-uh. Hold it right there. 341 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,034 Where you think you're going? 342 00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:29,344 - Well, I'm gonna pay you when I get back. 343 00:14:29,448 --> 00:14:30,586 - What you think this is? 344 00:14:30,689 --> 00:14:32,965 You know that's not how this works, brother. 345 00:14:33,068 --> 00:14:34,344 - Jasmine? 346 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,620 - Give me my money. 347 00:14:36,724 --> 00:14:39,482 - Okay, here. - Thank you. 348 00:14:39,586 --> 00:14:41,103 - Be breezy. - Yeah, alright. 349 00:14:43,241 --> 00:14:46,068 Tell Pooky and Peanut I said, "What's up?" 350 00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:48,482 - ♪ 351 00:14:48,586 --> 00:14:51,241 - [sighs] 352 00:14:51,344 --> 00:14:54,551 Dial up. 353 00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:58,413 Rotary phones. 354 00:14:58,517 --> 00:14:59,862 This is ridiculous. 355 00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:03,931 - [knocking at door] 356 00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:05,586 - Finally. Hey, we've been waiting for the package. 357 00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:08,103 Come on in. 358 00:15:08,206 --> 00:15:09,827 - What's up, baby? - [gasps] 359 00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:11,965 What--what the what? What-- 360 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,000 - I saw you walk across the street. 361 00:15:17,103 --> 00:15:19,137 - You know this is very close to stalking, right? 362 00:15:19,241 --> 00:15:21,310 - Uh, baby, come on, you know me better than that. 363 00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:22,689 It's The Dark. 364 00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:26,103 - But you--you watching me walk across the street though. 365 00:15:26,206 --> 00:15:27,620 - That do sound--that do sound-- 366 00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:30,551 - It sound stalker-ish, yeah. - Alright, it's not like that. 367 00:15:30,655 --> 00:15:34,275 I just--I knew your aunt, she wasn't here, so I decided to-- 368 00:15:34,379 --> 00:15:36,793 - Wait, wait. That sound like stalking, too. 369 00:15:36,896 --> 00:15:39,551 How did you know my aunt wasn't here? 370 00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:42,896 - She told my dad that she wasn't going to church tonight. 371 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,827 Something about like her birthday and her husband had 372 00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:47,724 a surprise for her or something, I don't know. 373 00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:51,689 - Okay. So that's a recon stalking, okay. 374 00:15:51,793 --> 00:15:53,689 - Baby, come on, you know it's me. 375 00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:54,724 You want me to leave, I'll go. 376 00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:56,172 - Mm-hmm. 377 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:57,620 - You serious? 378 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,068 - What do you want, Kaleb? 379 00:16:01,517 --> 00:16:03,344 - So... 380 00:16:03,448 --> 00:16:05,000 - So what? 381 00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:10,586 - We're here? - Yes, here we are. 382 00:16:10,689 --> 00:16:13,896 - In the living room. 383 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,310 And they not here. 384 00:16:16,413 --> 00:16:18,206 - [sighs] Kaleb. 385 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,275 - What's up? You know I love you, girl. 386 00:16:21,896 --> 00:16:23,137 - What are you doing? 387 00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:25,000 - Baby, you know I love you, girl. 388 00:16:27,482 --> 00:16:30,793 - [sighs] I love you, too. 389 00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:33,413 - Well, I think, you know, we should... 390 00:16:33,517 --> 00:16:35,724 take things all the way. 391 00:16:35,827 --> 00:16:37,896 - All the way to where? 392 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:42,689 - I--I don't know, me, you, anything, together, 393 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,310 come on now, all the way. - [sighs] Look. 394 00:16:46,413 --> 00:16:47,586 Kaleb, hmm-mm. 395 00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,551 - Look, baby, nobody is here. 396 00:16:54,655 --> 00:16:57,413 - Yeah, I know. I know that. 397 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,931 - And they not gonna be back 'til late. 398 00:17:01,034 --> 00:17:04,000 - And how do you know that? 399 00:17:04,103 --> 00:17:06,206 - Because your Uncle Curtis is cheap. 400 00:17:08,620 --> 00:17:09,827 - Uh, okay, I'm confused. 401 00:17:09,931 --> 00:17:11,379 What--what that got to do with anything? 402 00:17:13,448 --> 00:17:16,137 - It's like this. 403 00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:20,344 Whatever he doing, probably don't cost no money. 404 00:17:20,448 --> 00:17:23,103 So, he gonna be there for a minute. 405 00:17:23,206 --> 00:17:24,758 - That don't make no sense. 406 00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,241 - No, it do, because you got them long lines, 407 00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:29,172 because don't nobody gotta pay. 408 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:32,551 Everybody there trying to do the same thing. 409 00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:34,517 Look, if he was paying for it, 410 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,448 it wouldn't take so long. 411 00:17:36,551 --> 00:17:39,689 - Well, he--I mean, he is cheap, I get that part. 412 00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,793 - Right, right, exactly. He hella cheap. 413 00:17:41,896 --> 00:17:43,862 [laughs] Come on, let's go. 414 00:17:43,965 --> 00:17:47,103 - No, wait, go where? Where are you going? 415 00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:49,206 - To--to the bedroom, right? The bedroom right here, right? 416 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:54,862 - You...you 'bout to take me to my aunt and uncle's bedroom? 417 00:17:54,965 --> 00:17:56,758 - What? - Come on, man. 418 00:17:56,862 --> 00:17:58,379 You need-- - Which bedroom is it? 419 00:17:58,482 --> 00:18:00,586 - No, no, huh-uh. - I don't care which bedroom 420 00:18:00,689 --> 00:18:02,965 you wanna go to. - You need to go. 421 00:18:03,068 --> 00:18:04,620 You--Kaleb, come here. 422 00:18:07,206 --> 00:18:09,413 Listen closely, open your ears. 423 00:18:12,068 --> 00:18:15,103 I am not ready. 424 00:18:15,206 --> 00:18:18,862 - I--I think you are. 425 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,896 - How you gonna tell me what I am? 426 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,448 - Baby, I thought you loved me. 427 00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:27,000 - I do. 428 00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:28,689 - Well, if you loved me, you would. 429 00:18:31,413 --> 00:18:32,896 - Uh... 430 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,482 - Look, baby, come on, just--it's cool. 431 00:18:35,586 --> 00:18:36,793 - Oh, my-- 432 00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:39,517 Hey! 433 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:40,724 What you doing? - Damn. 434 00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:41,827 - What's--what's wrong? 435 00:18:41,931 --> 00:18:43,413 What you looking for? 436 00:18:43,517 --> 00:18:44,655 - I forgot my keys. 437 00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:49,586 - Oh, I'm sorry, your-- the keys to your car or-- 438 00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:52,275 - No, no, I got those. I need the ones to my house, 439 00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:56,103 I gotta change. - Oh, yeah. Got you. 440 00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:57,241 - Come on and help. 441 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:59,724 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, you right. 442 00:18:59,827 --> 00:19:03,103 Uh. - You know what? 443 00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,379 I think they may be in the kitchen. 444 00:19:04,482 --> 00:19:06,482 - Nah, nah, I don't think they in there. 445 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:10,965 - Well, how do you know? 446 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,827 - I just feel like they would be... 447 00:19:13,931 --> 00:19:16,068 in this area. 448 00:19:16,172 --> 00:19:17,310 - Okay, well, how do you know? 449 00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:21,000 - Nu--um, yeah, I'm a woman, we can--we got like 450 00:19:21,103 --> 00:19:23,965 a sixth sense when it come to this stuff. 451 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:25,724 - Jasmine, you're a little girl. 452 00:19:25,827 --> 00:19:26,827 - Okay, I'm sorry, you're right. 453 00:19:26,931 --> 00:19:29,724 Dang, nothing about me that's womanly. 454 00:19:29,827 --> 00:19:31,344 - Right. - Yeah. 455 00:19:31,448 --> 00:19:33,068 - Did the package come yet? - Nope. 456 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,724 Must be stuck in Paris. 457 00:19:35,931 --> 00:19:37,344 - Uh. Hmm. 458 00:19:37,448 --> 00:19:38,517 Man, they gotta be in the kitchen. 459 00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,724 - No. 460 00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:45,000 I mean, for real, what would keys be doing in a kitchen? 461 00:19:45,103 --> 00:19:46,310 - Yeah, that's where I think they at. 462 00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:48,172 - Uh... 463 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:49,965 okay, well, um, I guess-- 464 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:53,206 I guess we're coming in the kitchen then. 465 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,620 Keys, we're coming! 466 00:19:55,724 --> 00:19:57,379 Key's we're coming. - Who are you talking to? 467 00:19:57,482 --> 00:19:59,793 - The--I'm talking to the-- to the stove. 468 00:19:59,896 --> 00:20:01,379 - ♪ 469 00:20:04,965 --> 00:20:07,827 - Okay, yeah, I talk to it a lot. 470 00:20:07,931 --> 00:20:10,620 Um... 471 00:20:10,724 --> 00:20:13,034 Okay, look at that, they're not in here, so-- 472 00:20:13,137 --> 00:20:14,482 - Wait a minute, here it is. 473 00:20:14,586 --> 00:20:16,034 - Oh, great, okay, cool. 474 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,724 - Uh, Jasmine? - Yes, Cousin Calvin? 475 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,103 - What's going on? 476 00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,655 - What you mean? We're trying to find your keys. 477 00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,827 We're doing this together. 478 00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:29,862 - I mean, what's going on? 479 00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:34,448 - I--I--why so deep? 480 00:20:34,551 --> 00:20:35,931 - Jasmine, don't play with me right now. 481 00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,551 - Listen, you on your way to a football game, 482 00:20:37,655 --> 00:20:38,586 you were so happy. 483 00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:39,758 I'm thinking about you. 484 00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,275 - Oh, you--you want me to leave right now? 485 00:20:41,379 --> 00:20:44,551 - Dude, that game will be good. 486 00:20:44,655 --> 00:20:45,724 - Who's playing? 487 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:48,068 - The good people. 488 00:20:48,172 --> 00:20:49,448 You should go. 489 00:20:49,551 --> 00:20:50,620 - Okay. 490 00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:53,517 But wait. - Yes? 491 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:56,172 - You wanna tell me who that boy is behind the counter? 492 00:20:56,275 --> 00:20:57,137 - Huh? 493 00:20:57,241 --> 00:20:58,206 - ♪ 494 00:21:27,827 --> 00:21:29,310 - ♪ 495 00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,034 - ♪ 496 00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:37,068 - ♪ 34524

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