All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S09E17 - Dark Thirty WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

- ELLA: Jasmine, how's that boy from church?

- Wassup? - Are you high?

- CURTIS: You just threw the boy out the house?

- [screams]

- This is the weed mints and the vape pen.

- Dinosaur, Ella. The rabbit ate it.

I'm high as hell. Whoo!

- What is going on? - I'm just hungry.

Privacy, please. - What is wrong with you?

- Call Floyd. Hey! - Ooh!

Did you smoke this? - I feel so high.

- FLOYD: Let's go see C.J. for about this.

- Where are y'all going?

No, you did not.

I don't even understand why they do this.

Smoke this, chew that, eat this.

Mm, these good.

Little oregano. Alright.

- ♪

- [knocking at door]

- Who is it?

- FLOYD: It's Floyd!

- What?

What are you doing here this late?

- Hey. - Hey.

- What's going on, C.J.?

- Hey, what's--what's going on?

- Uh, it's your uncle. - What about him?

- Come on in, Curtis!

You'll see.

- No!

He gonna turn me in.

- You realize you in here now, right?

- Oh, I am.

- What--what--what is this?

- I don't know.

- I'm a bad man, C.J.

I'm a bad man.

- Well, what--what happened?

- Don't you tell him. - Uh...

- Don't you say nothing.

Do you know I threw my life away for a fix?

And now I know--I know what Janine was going through.

- Come on.

- I know what Janine was going through.

- What--what is he talking about?

- God forgive me, but Janine--

Janine was on that shiznet too.

- What is he talking about?

- I never thought my life would be like this.

Just wasting away to nothing.

Look at me, look--I'm wasting away to nothing.

- [laughing] - CURTIS: --see me.

Why are you laughing?

- 'Cause that was funny.

- Look how skinny I'm getting.

- [laughing]

- Look at how skinny I'm getting, it's crazy.

- Yo, what is going on?

- I got a new diet.

One that won't make me sick.

Hey! You know what?

Let me tell you something.

And I'm--and don't you forget it.

Oh yeah, now I feel like I'm drunk. Oh, bu--

This place is beautiful.

- Oh, thank you, sir.

- Did you redecorate?

- Uh, no. No sir.

- I've never seen the colors so bright like this.

It's just colors everywhere.

That's bright, that's bright.

That's bright. Ooh.

- Stay with it.

- I'm falling. - Hmm-mm.

- I'm actually falling.

Will you help me?

- Well, it's taking you about ten minutes to fall.

- [groans]

- What is going on?

- Ooh.

I like your table.

We could do some things on this table.

- That's too much, Unc.

- I love you, Ella!

- Stop it. Stop it.

- Good thing he's not a woodchuck.

- What is going on?

- He smoked.

- C.J.: Wha-- - Ssh, don't tell him.

- Yes. - You left that devil juice

at my house, now I'm an addict.

All my dreams up in smoke.

Shooh.

Shooh.

- He smoked that vape pen that you left at the house.

- What? - Yes.

- Yes, you tell him I'm about to be walking the streets,

giving out that thing-thing for a fix?

Tell him that.

Doing something strange for people change.

Oh, I miss Beverly.

- Not Beverly. - He ain't gonna get

but about $8.

- ♪

♪♪

- Well, wait--wait a second.

Now, say--say that again.

- He smoked the vape pen that you left at his house.

- Uncle Curtis!

- Yes, C.J.?

- Why would you do that?

- 'Cause it was there.

And now I can't feel my face.

Or my leg.

Oh, I really can't feel 'em now.

They're so light.

Can you feel my feet?

They're so light.

I'm light on my feet. - You're sitting down!

- We gotta help him though.

- Does Aunt Ella know about this?

- Uh...

not really.

- Not really?

I wonder what she thinking.

- [laughing]

He smoking that pen. [laughs]

He smoking that pen. [laughing]

Curtis? Hey, Curtis!

Were you smoking this pen?

[laughing]

Oh, hi, little chicken.

Yes!

Somebody call--who that?

I know--yes!

Oh.

It's that voice.

I hear you, Lord.

Eli told us, if you hear that voice--

if you hear that voice, just say, "Speak Lord.

Thy servant is listening."

[laughing]

[sighs] Mm.

Why is that funny?

Oh, boy.

Hi, little muffin. [laughs]

Oh.

The gospel bird.

I'm so sorry, little chicken.

[laughing]

Thank you for sacrificing your life.

[laughing]

Oh.

What is wrong? What is wrong with me?

I'm scared.

I'm scared. I'm--am I moving?

Am I--am I moving? [laughing]

I think I'm on a boat.

Oh no! I'm on a slave ship, Lord!

Hi, Kunta.

[laughing]

High five, Misty.

[laughing]

What is wrong with me?

Ella!

Wait a minute, I'm Ella.

[laughs]

No, you're not. Yes, I am!

[laughs] Who's that?

Ella! Come here!

I--I--I am Ella.

Hear me roar!

[laughing]

I'm not cleaning up this kitchen.

I am not cleaning up this kitchen.

What is wrong with me?

Why am I acting like this?

It's gotta be--it's gotta be these mints.

It is the mint.

Is it a mint?

I ate two.

I ate a mint. [laughs]

I didn't "mint" it. [laughs]

- [owl hoots]

- Grass is green.

The sky is blue.

I love you.

It's--it's in the mints?

This is st--

This is weed?

This is not oregano.

I--I chewed--it's in the mints?

What are these children doing?

Oh.

God. God, I'm so high.

You heard me?

- This is crazy.

- I know.

- How long ago?

- Mm, I'm not sure. I don't know.

- C.J.: Uncle Curtis?

How long ago did you smoke?

- 1978.

- What?

- And it feel like forever.

I can't come down.

I can't.

- Uncle Curtis!

- Can't stop, won't stop.

- Wow!

- C.J.? - C.J.: Yes?

- Send me to a rehab near Ella.

- You don't need to go to rehab.

- That's what all you enablers say.

- Just stay seated, relax.

- I can't.

You all hear that? - Hear what?

- You don't hear that music?

It's so good.

It's so good.

- Do you hear music?

- Uh, that's that good-good.

- And it got him acting like that?

- [laughs]

Yes.

- I'm gonna kill that kid.

- What kid?

- The kid that gave that to Jasmine.

The preacher's son.

- Kaleb? - Yeah, you know him?

- Oh, man, everybody know Dark 30.

[laughs] He got the best weed in town,

I'm telling you. - Oh!

- I'm sorry. [chuckles]

It's a rumor.

- Uncle Curtis? - [groans]

- Uncle Curtis? - [groans]

- No, let me get him some water.

- No, no, no, no.

He don't need no more water.

- Well, let me get him some food.

- Hey, uh...he's eaten everything at the house.

- Well I need to get him something.

- Nah, what we need to do is we need to call Kaleb.

- Why?

- So we can find out what he smoked.

- You know what? He gave that to my daughter.

I'm gonna kill him. - Yeah.

But you know what, let's just call him.

- Yeah, you call him and tell him to get his self

over here right now. - Okay, fine. Fine.

Okay, alright. Okay, okay.

- You got his number? - Hmm?

- Do you have his number? - Hmm?

- You said you was gonna call him.

Do you have his number?

- Right now?

- You probably got him on speed dial.

- I do, I'm dialing.

- ♪

- He's close. - Okay.

- And this is crazy.

- You know what else is crazy?

- What's that?

- Why do you have his phone number?

- Sorry, I'm dialing, I can't hear you.

- You gonna tell me?

- No!

- Floyd?

- What?

- Is he selling drugs?

- No.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm sure, he's just selling weed.

And why you saying that?

- Because you have his number.

- I don't do drugs.

- Then why do you have his number?

- Okay, it's glaucoma.

- Stop it. - FLOYD: Uh...

I--I'm helping him with a rap album.

Yes, he heard me sing in church,

and he wanted me to back him up.

♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do

♪ Stir it like it's good, stir it like it's good ♪

It's the hook.

- This is just getting weirder and weirder.

- [knocking at door]

- Excuse me while I get your door.

- Wassup, man? - Hey, what's happening?

- It's late.

- Yeah, I know.

- It's kinda weird.

- I know that too. [laughs]

- So why'd you call me to the house?

- Um, C.J. wanna talk to you.

- He already threw me out.

- Well...

- Oh, y'all trying to kill me.

- Uh...nah, son.

Nobody trying-- - Yes, you are.

And, yes, he is.

- Mm, no-- - I'm finna call the police.

- Ssh, before you wake up the whole house.

- Well, I can fight.

- I could fight too. - Well, what's up?

- And I got an ax. - Ah-ah-ah-ah.

Ah-da-ah-ah! - I'm gonna chop him up.

- Come on now.

No light on light love like this.

Look, everybody just calm down, alright?

Let's reset, alright.

And nobody's trying to harm you, okay?

- Are you sure about that?

- Calm down and say hi.

- Say what?

- Say hi.

- Uh...

hey.

- What's up?

- Wasn't that beautiful?

- What's going on with the old dude?

- He smoked your vape pen.

- What?

- Yeah.

And I don't like it.

- Looks like he like it. [laughs]

- Yo, you think this is a joke?

- [clears throat] No, no.

- Wipe that smile off your face.

- Why are you so hostile?

- I'm gonna show you hostile!

- Come on, man! Come on now!

CMB! CMB!

- We all we got!

- What are y'all talking about?

- Hmm. Millennials. [laughs]

- Yo, man, that's all him. That's not me, that's him.

- Look, just everybody calm down.

We have a crisis here, okay?

- Well, what is the crisis?

- It's him!

- What did you give him?

- I didn't give him nothing.

- Well, what's in the pen?

- It's just weed.

- I hate when you kids say, "It's just weed."

It's a drug, it's not just weed.

- Well, that's--it's all it is.

- Are you sure there's nothing else in it?

- It's just regular sativa like the one

you got last week. - Oh, right. Oh, okay.

- Call it dirty dirty kush.

- Sometime it-- - Hey! Hey!

This is not good!

I don't care if it's legal in a lot of places,

look at my uncle!

- It look like he enjoying himself.

[laughing]

Oh, he feeling good.

- And you 'bout to be dead.

- Look, I swear, it is just weed. Harmless.

- No, you know what, man? Let me tell you something.

I don't wanna see you anywhere near my daughter.

- Look, Jasmine tried it,

and she hates it, alright? - I know that.

- She's a good girl.

- And you a loser. - Excuse me?

- What kind of a man gives drugs to somebody

that he cares about?

- I didn't even think it was her thing.

- Look at my uncle.

- Okay, alright. You're right.

It's my bad. I'm sorry.

- So, don't see my daughter again.

- I can't promise you that. - Ahh!

You trying to get killed.

- What I can promise you is I will not try to influence her

to smoke ever again.

- That's not good enough.

- Well, I really like her.

- Alright, well, if you really like her,

then show up here like a man,

dressed nice, with your pants pulled up,

and your shirt in your pants, and ask her out,

like we used to do, you know, back in the day.

- What day was that? Like the 1800s?

- Oh.

- Ha!

You ain't gonna make it 18 months. Keep playing.

- Whoa, whoa, okay. Hey, it's all good.

- Nah, see, he don't know me.

- I know. - He don't know me!

- Oh, no. - It's on now.

- Mr. Floyd. - Come on now.

- It was a joke, I'm sorry. - Uh. What? Ha.

- I'm sorry. - I will take you out.

- I'm gonna take him out too. - Come on somebody.

- I am sorry. It was a joke, I'm sorry.

- What the hell are you doing?

Well, how are you gonna take him out?

- Well, these were low riders at first.

- [laughs]

- That's why I don't wear belts.

- Well, boy, just be quiet and tell me

when he's gonna come down.

- Well, how much did he smoke?

- I don't know.

- Okay, where's the pen?

- Well, we left it at his house.

- Well, I'm not gonna know when he's gonna come down

if I don't have the pen.

- Well, he told me he had about ten hits.

- Ten? - Yeah.

- Damn.

He 'bout to be high for a minute, jack.

[laughs] - Really?

- That's crazy, it don't ever do me like that.

I hit two times and I'm whoo--

- That's how many I have, too, but you gotta make sure

you eat before that. - Oh.

- I don't know what he-- - Okay, I thought--

munchies don't come after-- - Hey!

- You gonna munch for-- - Hey!

- BOTH: Sssh! You gonna wake up the whole house!

- So how much is left in the pen?

- Well, let's go to his house and get it.

- Okay.

- Uncle Curtis?

- We going to see the king?

- We going to your house.

- Lead me there!

- Uncle Curtis, come on.

- You know you have a whole family living in here?

- Come on, Uncle Curtis. - You get his feet.

You--maybe you--yeah, you get his middle part,

you get his feet, I'm gonna get the heaviest part, his head.

- ♪

- CURTIS: [humming]

♪ Leave me there

You a good lead.

- Okay.

Now, C.J., Ella doesn't know.

- That he's high? - No.

- Okay. - So--

So don't tell her.

- I got it. - Okay.

- Come--

- Where are we?

- We're at your house.

- Who the hell are you?

- I'm Kaleb.

- Okay.

Whe--where we at? We moved to Florida.

- No. That was a dream.

- But it was so real.

- You're fine, Unc. - Okay.

- Okay. - Where Ella?

- I don't know. You okay?

- I'm good. - Alright.

- You know she gonna kill me.

- No, she's not gonna kill you.

- She want my pension.

- Oooh.

- Oh, what happened to this kitchen?

- Oh, this Curtis work right here.

- I have never seen this before.

- Aunt Ella!

- ELLA: Ya-ya-yah!

- What the--

- She's in the backyard. - Yeah.

- I'm moving. I'm moving.

I'm not moving.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Hey, Auntie. - Hey.

- What's wrong with you?

- Hey.

- What's wrong with you?

- Nothing.

[laughing]

- ♪

- ♪

- ♪

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