Original subtitles

- MALIK: Mom, Dad, Lisa's pregnant.

- LISA: Surprise!

- Ain't she cute?

- She's what?

- [clattering]

- She took that well.

- [yelling] - Not now.

- Could you just stop it?

- Everything you put me through,

now it's coming back on you.

- [laughing] - Thank you, Lord.

- CLARENCE: Your Mom and I just had a talk.

- This about to be good.

- We stand with you. - What?!

- I'm glad we got this all worked out.

I'll be back on Saturday. - Saturday?

- He ain't tell you? We moving in.

- CURTIS: Hallelujah!

- ♪

- ♪ Who's is this

Hey.

- Uh, Mama.

- Yeah.

- What's going on in Malik's room?

- What?

- It's been painted and it's clean.

- Yeah.

- Something ain't right about that.

- Nothing's wrong with it either.

- Why is the room clean?

Wait, better yet, who cleaned it?

- I did.

- Did you have your tetanus shot?

- What do you mean?

- Mom, you said yourself

that you would never go in that room.

- I had to change my mind.

- Why?

- I just wanted the room clean.

You see me cleaning all the time,

it's nothing different.

- You ain't telling the truth.

- Trying to say I'm a liar?

- No.

- Then what are you saying?

- I'm saying that you not telling the truth.

- I wanted the room clean.

Leave it at that.

- Okay, something going on here.

- No, it's not!

Will you just stop it, please?!

- I will. - Thank you!

- As soon as you tell me what's going on here.

- Jazmine.

- Mom, you know that's unusual.

You haven't been in that boy's room since he was nine.

- Ha!

That doesn't make any sense.

We weren't even living in this house when he was nine.

- Well, that dust, and that dirt, and that asbestos

has been in that room since he was nine.

- Touche.

But I'm not doing this with you, not today.

- Ma. - What?

No, no!

- Tell me why you cleaned the room.

- Okay. Nope, no. [yelling] - There is a reason.

It's so much easier to let the truth fly.

Why did you clean the room?

- It's no place for a baby!

It'd never survive!

- What?

- Aw, damn.

- ♪

♪

- What did you just say?

- Huh?

- Mama, you just said something about a baby.

- Did I?

- [sighs] I know "baby" when I hear it.

- I don't know what you heard.

- Mama, it's not time to play the old people game

right now.

- What's, what's the, what's the old people game?

- Is the game where y'all acting like

you can't hear anything.

All of a sudden you just have selective hearing.

- Huh?

I can't hear what you said. A little louder.

- No, Mom, listen to me.

Okay, you can't play that game with me.

- Darnit.

Okay. Okay, Jazmine.

- Okay, so what's going on?

Tell me what's going on.

- You're gonna find out sooner or later.

- Mom, please don't tell me that you're pregnant.

- Ah!

- For the love of God, please don't be pregnant.

- You just asked me that.

- Yeah, well, I'm asking you again.

Now I'm asking God and Jesus.

And Mary and Joseph and Peter.

- Okay!

- And Paul, and Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob,

and the billy goat.

Are you pregnant?

- First of all, it's Abendago.

- Whatever.

- I'm not having a baby.

- Ma, thank God!

- Excuse you.

- No, I'm serious, Mom.

You and Dad need separate rooms.

- It's called love.

- Mm-mm, no.

- It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

- Mm-mm, separate rooms.

I mean it, Mom. I mean it.

- You done? You finished?

- I thought you were done having babies!

- I'm not!

From where?!

I'm not having the baby.

- Then why did you say "baby"?

- Why did I say "baby"?

Beca--you know what?

Mm-mm, I'm your mama!

I don't have to answer nothing.

- You're also too old to be having babies.

- Take a good look.

- [chuckles]

- Ain't nothing old about it.

- Okay.

- You see this body?

Ody, ody.

Huh?!

- Mama, you know that that's what people

that are going through mid-life crisis say, right?

That's what you sound like.

That was too far, wasn't it? - That was a lot.

- Okay, I'm sorry. I felt myself...

- Oh yeah. - ...crossing the line slowly.

- Yeah, over there. - But yeah.

- I felt myself killing you. - Okay.

- You know? [chuckling] - Alright, fun.

- Mutual understanding. - JAZMINE: Mutual understanding.

- Pull up, okay? - Okay, that's fine.

I guess I'll just, I'll never know then, huh?

- I guess not.

- [knocking]

- ELLA: [yelling]

Heavy, heavy, heavy. - JAZMINE: Hi, Aunty.

- Ah. - ELLA: Heavy, heavy.

[sighs] - JANINE: Got it.

- Thank you. - You are welcome.

- Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hi. - Hi.

- Mwah. [kissing]

Thank you so much for letting me borrow

that crockpot.

- You are so welcome.

- My beans were excellent!

- As always.

- [laughing]

Ah, it was so clean. - Yeah.

- That's 'cause she's never used it.

She ain't never used it. - I know.

- Then why you asking? - Hello.

- ELLA: I didn't ask. - Excuse me, I can hear you.

- Okay, sorry. But, what?

You can't be offended, you know you don't cook much.

- Unless it's gluten free.

- [chuckling]

With almond flour.

- [laughing]

- Why y'all talking like that? - And no sugar.

[laughing]

- And no heat.

- BOTH: And no taste.

[laughing]

- Okay, I'm sorry.

- I feel sorry for your beans next time.

'Cause I'm not letting you use it again.

- Mama, you know you not gonna use that pot again.

- I broke it.

- I'm healthy and I'm proud.

- Yes you are, baby.

And we are proud of you. - Thank you.

- We just don't want you to cook for us.

- Auntie.

- [laughs] Hi, baby. - How you doing?

- I'm good, how are you? - I'm great. You look so pretty!

- Beautiful! You're so beautiful.

- Thank you, so are you Auntie.

- Mwah, mwah. [kissing] - Mwah, mwah. Guess what?

- What? [chuckling]

- Mom cleaned Malik's room.

- Stop.

You stop.

- I'm serious.

- She cleaned Malik's room?

- She cleaned Malik's room.

- She went in there without a gas mask?

- That's exactly what I'm saying.

- Wow!

- Wow, is right.

- I guess she's getting excited after all.

- Yeah, I guess she is, huh?

What's she getting excited about?

- All the good news, baby.

- Oh, yeah, it's great.

It's something, isn't it?

- It is. - Ah!

- I guess she's just like, coming around.

- Mm-hmm, I think she is.

- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

I was upset at first.

- Oh, you know I was, too.

- She was, too.

- Oh, she very much was.

- I didn't know what to say.

- Yeah, I experienced that too, actually.

I'm like, "What I'mma say?"

- BOTH: [laughing]

- You know? I did.

- But I guess she's coming around.

- She really is.

It's nice. - Aww.

Well, I mean it's not like she can really change the facts.

- That's true, facts are something you can't change.

That's why they call 'em facts.

- [chuckling] Facts. - Yeah, facts.

Right.

- I just wish it was different.

- So do I.

- You know, I was wanting a wedding.

You know? - JAZMINE: Yes.

- Beautiful wedding.

- You know I love a good wedding.

- Do you remember how you were in the little...

- JAZMINE: [unintelligible]

- Aww, you got sick at that wedding.

You weren't able to move.

- I did but it dont' even matter.

I was the worst flower girl ever.

- Jazmine...

- Mom and Dad are already married though.

- I know that.

- So do I.

- I wasn't talking about them.

- Who were you talking about?

- [chuckling]

Jazmine.

- Yes, mam?

- How's that boy from church?

- Who?

- Who? Oh, now you don't know.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Now you can't talk. - [chuckling]

I was asking you questions.

- Oh, no, yeah, I know it. - You just sprung that on me.

I was, like, not prepared.

- You know what? I'm sensing.

I've been sensing that some,

there's someone special, something going on.

- [scoffs] What do you mean by that?

I don't really know what you're talking about.

I'm just saying, could you, like, elaborate?

- I mean, he is...

- He is cute.

- He is a pastor's son but he is out there.

- Listen, don't even worry about him, Auntie, I got him.

Don't even worry about him.

- You dating him?! You're dating him?!

- No, mam, I'm getting to know him.

- Aww, you're growing up.

- [chuckling] Aw, thank you.

- Yes, you're growing up.

- Yes, mam.

- Yeah, take your time.

- I will, thank you.

- Don't get no tattoo.

- Oh, I would never.

[chuckling] Never.

- And whatever you do,

don't you bring no baby up in here!

- Okay. - [laughing]

- Yeah, see that's the second time I've heard that word.

I'm not the one bringing a baby up in here.

- I know, oh, I know. - Mmhmm.

- I never thought it was gonna happen.

Well, I knew it was gonna happen,

but I just didn't think-- You know what?

When I thought about it, I was just like,

"Malik, Malik, Malik, Malik's gonna be a father."

I never thought Malik would be a father.

- I coulda told you Malik was never gonna be...

- I knew he could have a baby but I never thought he...

- Wait, Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, Auntie.

[mumbling]

- Yeah?

- What'd you just say?

- What did I just say?

Jazmine.

- Did you just say Malik's having a baby?

- No, I did not say Malik was just having a baby.

- I thought that's what you just said.

- I said Malik would be a father.

- No, you actually just said Malik, Malik, Malik, Malik,

Malik, Malik, over and over again

after you said "baby".

- ♪

- Auntie, you mind repeating that last thing

you just said for me.

- Repeating it, why Jazmine?

Why? I thought you knew.

- Knew what?

That Malik's having a baby?

- Yes. - I did know.

- Okay.

- So, who with?

- Say what?

- Who's he having the baby with, Auntie?

Who's the baby mama?

- I thought you alr--

Jazmine. - Yes, mam?

- Why do I feel like you're trying to play me?

- 'Cause she is.

- Hey, Mama. - No, no, no.

- Hey.

- I thought you knew.

You didn't know? - No!

And I wasn't going to tell her.

- Oh, you slick.

- I'm sorry. - No.

- JAZMINE: I'm sorry, Auntie.

- I gotta watch you.

Don't do that again.

- Auntie, I'm sorry.

I just wanted to know what was going on.

- Well, you should ask your mama.

- She did.

- And what did you say?

- I was far too clever.

But apparently...

- Oh, watch it!

Watching, we're watching.

[chuckles]

- I was only going to say that...

- Watch it, gluten free.

- Crockpot ain't as quick on her feet

as she used to be.

- [laughing]

- That's all I'm saying.

- But I'm quick on that belt.

If you ever try that again.

- Okay.

[hisses] I'm sorry, okay?

I just...

Wow, I can't even believe this is happening!

- [chuckles]

You better believe it because it's happening.

- Are y'all serious? A baby?

- Yeah.

- Malik still don't know how to wash his own clothes.

- I know.

- I mean, that boy barely brush his teeth.

How you gonna teach the baby how to brush they teeth

if you don't know how to brush your own teeth?

- Jazmine, babies don't have teeth.

He got time.

- I mean, he could brush the gums for practice.

He don't even know how to do that.

- Wooo.

- You know what? This is just sad.

- [inhales] Look Jazmine, it's fine.

- It's fine? - Yes, it's fine.

- Mom, who are you?!

You and Dad are okay with this?

- [chuckling]

- Yes.

We have to be.

- [laughs] Why she think that?

- What else are we supposed to do, Jazmine?

- Well, first, beat him.

[chuckles]

And then tell the fool he can't have a baby.

- The first part I can do, we're gonna start with you.

The second part, I think it's a little late for that.

- Wow. You know who to blame for this?

- Who?

- Dad and Uncle Curtis.

- What?

- JAZMINE: Mm-hmm. I mean it.

- Why? - What, how?

- Because they should have taught that boy

better than this.

- Ooh.

- What?

- No, I'm just saying.

All the contraceptives that would prevent this

from happening.

You know what I'm saying?

There's just so many ways you can swerve this situation.

- Just juke it. - Ooh.

- You know what I'm saying? Just yeet.

- I felt that, I felt that.

And dodge it, and dodge it.

- And dodge it, exactly! - Yeah.

- Even if you just slightly dodge it.

- Just dodge that bullet.

- Like, what's up?

But he had a lot of options. - Do tell.

- Wait, wait, wait, keep talking.

Keep talking. - Yeah.

- You know what I'm saying?

Ain't this crazy, though?! - It is.

- Ooh. - With all the options.

- So many choices. - All of 'em.

- Yes. - So many choices.

- Right. Talk to us, talk, tell me.

- Tell us about all the choices.

- Well, I mean they're...

- What about 'em? - Uh-huh.

- Hold up. - Come on, choices, choices.

- Come with the information.

- Nah.

- No choices?

- I don't trust either one of y'all.

- What? - What's the matter?

- Y'all trying to set me up.

- [laughing] - No, no.

- Never. - I should have seen it.

I should have seen it coming.

That's exactly what I just did to you.

- Oh, so you admit it?

- But I was better at it.

- She was.

- I caught you midway through it.

- She did. - Mm-mm, Mm-mm.

I did all of that for this.

- That ain't right. - That ain't it.

- Now, tell us how you know.

- No, look. Mom, you taught me everything.

- You're right. - Okay.

[chuckling] - Mm-mm.

- That's all I'm saying then.

- Jazmine. - Yes, mam?

- Oh, you're so pretty. - Thank you.

- My baby. - Are you having sex?

- Wow, how you just gonna come out your mouth

with something like that?

- [chuckles]

- BOTH: Wow!

- Like, you're gonna come out of your mouth

with an answer.

- [clearing throat]

- Uh, right now.

- I don't think I am, I'm honestly offended.

- What you are is about to answer that question.

- Mom! - What?

- Et tu, Brute?

- Are you having sex?

- No. - Are you sure?

- No.

- Auntie. - What?

- I'm--I think I would know.

- Wecka, wecka, well we want to know that you know.

- Come on.

- I'm not having sex, okay?

I'm not Malik.

- Still can't. It's...

I still can't believe he's having...

- Psst. A baby?

- That!

- Well, you better believe it.

- Child, you so late.

- What?

- Mom, you gotta get with it now.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute, wait.

- Okay. - What does that mean?

- I mean, we're all in college.

Lots of people in college are having sex.

- Ooh. - Lots of people.

- So, does that mean that you have too?

- JAZMINE: Auntie. - What?

- I said lots of people, I didn't say everybody.

- Oh, okay. - Oh.

- Well, I don't know what's wrong with abstinence.

- There's nothing wrong with it.

- I know there's nothing wrong with it.

That way we know there will be no babies.

- Nope. - And no diseases.

- God, no. - You just get made fun of.

- Oh, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

Somebody making fun of you 'cause you still a virgin?

- No. - Mm-mm.

- Then why'd you say that?

- It's just a figure of speech.

- No it ain't. - No.

- I just know a lot of guys that make fun of virgins,

that's it, that's all I was saying.

- Listen, Jazmine, let them make fun of you.

Because what they say about the girls

that give it up...

- [exclaims] Ha!

- What'd they say about y'all? - It ain't...

- It's much worse. It's just much worse.

Right? It's just much worse.

- I wouldn't know.

- I know.

I know that too, I've heard.

- Hold on.

- What? - Just wait a minute.

- Mom.

- Are you thinking about having sex?

- No.

- Never? Not even a little?

- Mama, not right now.

I'm not thinking about that. - Good.

- Jazmine, is somebody making fun of you?

- No, no, no, I'm good.

- Jazmine, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Um, Jazmine, sit down.

Listen baby, we are family.

And we love you.

- Yes.

- And we are women.

And we get it.

- Yeah, yeah, that's so true, but...

- Listen to me.

- JAZMINE: Mama, please.

- No, no, listen, just...

- Mom, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?

- Wait a minute.

- Janine.

- What?

- Let it go.

- How come you can keep asking

and I wanna ask and I can't say nothing?

- 'Cause she's old.

Er. Er. Er.

- Let it go.

Do you want to be old-er?

- I should stop now then, right?

- Oh, I've said that twice.

- JAZMINE: Yes, mam.

I got you, don't even worry-- I got you, I got you.

- Listen, she will tell us when she wants to tell us.

She better tell us.

- Fine.

- Young people.

Okay, I'm gonna go

and get dinner started for my husband.

- Okay.

- I will see you later.

I will see you later.

- Auntie, I'm gonna walk with you.

- No, you can stay.

- JAZMINE: I'm gonna walk with you just,

you know, to make sure you get there alright.

- She may wanna tell me.

Help me up, y'all.

- JAZMINE: I will help you up.

- [grunting]

Ooh, that was good. Can you...

- I'mma take the duster for protection.

Let's go.

- No, I have a duster. Thank you.

You can leave that here.

I love you all.

- Love you.

- I love you, Mom. - Love you, baby.

- Oh, you're really coming. - You can open that door.

- Yeah, we gonna go with you.

- No, that's okay. - Janine, no, no.

Janine, no, no.

- Love you.

- Mean it.

- Can't tell.

- Thank you.

- Wait a minute.

You gonna tell me something?

You wanna tell me now?

- No Auntie, you know she... - Tell me.

- No, you know she will have a fit.

- Tell me.

- They still don't know I'm dating.

- Is someone pressuring you?

- No, no.

- Jazmine, are they making fun of you?

- [sighs] He just...he kind of hints at it.

- Ooh.

Come on baby, let's go home

and we're gonna have a long talk.

- [sighs]

- It's gonna be good, you're gonna be okay.

- ♪

- I told you to tell me everything.

You have to let me know.

- ♪

- ♪