Original subtitles

- MALIK: Mom. - JANINE: Yes?

- I need to tell you and Dad something.

- Uh, don't give me that look. What is it?

- It's nothing, I'll just wait for Dad to come home

to talk to both of you.

When you and Tracy had a baby, how was it?

- Is that girl pregnant? - What girl?

- The one your parents don't like.

- What?

You and Dad don't like Lisa? - Uh.

- What'd they say? - My dad's not home yet.

I'm gonna go talk to my uncle.

Uncle Curtis! - Go home!

- I need a wise man's opinion.

- [growls] - Why are you growling?

- I'm trying to watch the game.

- I need you to promise that you won't tell my dad.

I think Lisa's pregnant.

- Who's Lisa? - My girlfriend.

- What the-- - Shhh!

- [mumbling]

Get your hand off my mouth.

Say what? - Yeah.

I think Lisa's pregnant.

- For who?

- Uncle Curtis.

- Well, I--it ain't my baby.

- No one--I know that. I'm just--

- Then don't be blaming me! - I'm not blaming you.

- I said, "For who?"

And you said, "Uncle Curtis."

- Can you just listen?

- I can't listen if you're accusing me of having a baby.

Do you know how old I am?

I'm still "foo-tile."

- What is "futile"? What is that?

- I can still do it.

- Okay.

- Who's it for?

- It's for me.

- Uh?

Malik. - Yeah.

- Et tu...

"foo-tile"?

- I know.

- Oh...man.

You get it from me.

You get it--I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I gave you that gift.

Malik, you're out there having sex?

- Uncle Curtis, didn't you give me condoms

when I went to college?

- Yes.

And you didn't use 'em.

- Obviously, but--

- You don't have--you don't have no money.

You don't have anything.

You have nothing.

- Believe me, I-- - How you gonna have a baby?

- I know that.

- This is not good, Malik. - Yeah.

Yeah, I know.

- Does your daddy know?

- No, he doesn't.

- [laughing] I can't wait to tell him.

- What? No! - Can't wait to tell him.

- Uncle Curtis, stop. - What?

- You can't tell him. I wanna tell him.

- Oh no, I'm gonna tell him.

I'm gonna tell him. - Uncle Curtis, please, please.

- Okay, you know what? You're right.

You're right, you tell him.

You need to tell him.

But I'm gonna be there.

Oh, I'm going with you. - Alright.

That's fine.

- Phew. This is not good, Malik.

- Yeah, I know.

My mom was just telling me how proud of me she was.

- Oh boy, you shot that straight to hell.

- No.

I'm still gonna make them proud.

- By making 'em proud old grandparents.

- No, by telling them.

- Boy, you ain't gotta tell them,

they're really gonna find out.

Oh-oh, let me get my shoes.

Sorry, Baby Daddy.

- Uncle Curtis?

- I need to get a picture of you.

I need to get a picture of it. - For what?

- For remembering, 'cause your daddy gonna kill you.

- Will you please let me tell them?

- For sure.

For sure.

- Thank you. - But just wait--just wait--

- Uncle Curtis, please, I came here 'cause I thought

I could trust you.

- Trust me?

- MALIK: Yes.

- You can't trust me.

- Are you serious?

- I don't even like you.

- You really doing this right now?

- Yes, and I can't wait to tell it.

You know how long I've been waiting on this?

Yeah, I'm gonna tell this.

I'm gonna tell it.

- Tell who what?

[laughs] - Tell 'em what, baby?

- CURTIS: What? Huh?

- Shh, shh.

- You better not cuss.

You better not cuss--

I'm not gonna-- - That baby ain't gonna cuss.

- --ain't nobody gonna tell her you got that girl

pregnant, please.

- ♪

- [fireworks exploding]

- ♪♪

- ♪

- Mm.

Say what?

- Um-- - Yeah.

- Uh, um?

- I'm--I'm gonna go. - No, no, no, no, no, sir.

No, sir, you're not going anywhere.

Malik, what is he talking about?

- I don't know. He's crazy.

- What is he talking about?

- [whispers] I think it's onset like dementia or some--

Alzheimer's, one of 'em.

- Those don't-- [indistinct mumbling]

- What'd you say about me? - --making up stuff.

- What you say about me? - I ain't say nothing.

- Boy! Tell me what he's talking about.

- Okay.

There was a bird and bee.

- Boy, don't play with me.

- Auntie Ella, I think Lisa's pregnant.

[laughing]

Curtis, did you-- [laughing]

- Oh, this is when she spazzes out.

- [laughing] Did you see how his mouth just opened

and it just came out, "Lisa's pregnant"?

[laughing]

What the--hmm-mm.

- You better be careful.

She almost cussed.

- Lisa? - Yes.

- Wait, ain't that the one they don't like?

- Yes.

- And you got her pregnant?

- Curtis?

- This is gonna be good, baby.

This is gonna be good, baby.

- Curtis, Curtis, huh-uh, just calm down, calm down.

- Baby, we gotta go over to their house.

We gotta go over to their house.

- Curtis, will you calm down? - Alright, I'm calm, baby.

I'm real calm right now. - Just calm--

- If you could feel my inside...

'cause my inside is tingly.

- Curtis, stop it. - Please.

Please stop it.

- No, you can't get irritated with him.

- You know what this remind me of?

- Uh, yeah, you?

- No.

I ain't never got any of my women pregnant.

None of 'em.

Except for Ella. - Curtis!

- That's not what you said earlier.

- What are you talking about?

- Yeah, what are you talking about?

- You trying to throw me under the bus?

- I'm playing, I'm playing, calm down.

- First, you running around here knocking up w--girls.

And now you're playing games with my marriage?

- Calm down. - No, you calm down.

Don't be making up stuff.

- I was joking.

- Well, your joke's about to get you cut.

You heard me? - Okay.

- Malik!

- Yes, Auntie Ella?

- Sit down.

- Okay.

- No. Stand up.

You know what? Sit down.

Get up.

- I could just leave.

- No, you sit down. - Okay.

- So--

- Baby, this kind of stuff happens every day.

You know me and you--

- Curtis.

- Uuh, do I have to listen to this?

- Don't act like you don't know what this is!

- Curtis!

- Get him, baby.

Get him.

- I thought we talked about you waiting until you got married.

- Oh, baby. Your auntie's so 2007.

Nobody do that no more, Ella. - Curtis. Curtis, we did.

- You might have, but I didn't wait.

- Curtis.

- I'm just saying, baby.

- Hush, hush.

Now, Malik, weren't you gonna wait?

Remember at church when you made the commitment?

- Yeah, I mean, I remember.

- Okay.

- But I was 12.

- [laughing]

[whispers] 12.

- Curtis, that is not funny.

This is serious. - Yeah.

- Do you know how many kids are out there getting

diseases and stuff because they don't wait?

And there are lots of Christian kids who are waiting.

- But he ain't one of 'em, no.

[laughs]

- Malik, you better not laugh.

- Okay, Aunt Ella, I just...

realized that I didn't wanna wait.

- I don't know why you couldn't.

- Well, I mean, Uncle Curtis gave me condoms

when I went to school.

- [stuttering]

- I was there, I remember that.

- Yeah, see, you--you were telling me to wait,

and he was telling me, "Be careful."

- Really?

Really? - Yes, ma'am.

- You gonna listen to him?

- Now, Ella, come on, now.

The boys will be boys.

- You, come on, there are boys who are abstaining.

- Ella, that's what we tell y'all.

- There's nothing wrong with it. - No, there's not, baby.

- Well, then stop it, Curtis. - Look, baby, I hear you, okay?

But you can't put the smoke back in the pipe.

You heard me?

- ELLA: What are you talking about?

- Look, baby, there's nothing we can do about it.

The baby's coming, okay? - Curtis.

- So, now we gotta hurry up

and go tell them. - I get that.

I get that. I get that.

But he is too young.

He is too young. - Ow.

- Well, I told him he ain't got no job.

He ain't got no money.

- Now what we gonna do? - How you gonna have a baby?

And he better not have twins.

- And I'm about to have a concussion.

- You're gonna have a lot more than that.

- You've got a baby coming now.

So, now you gotta man up, and do what you have to do.

- Mm.

- You don't sound too excited.

- I'm scared. - Ah!

- CURTIS: [groans]

- Oh, I understand that.

It runs in the family.

Curtis was afraid.

He was so scared when Calvin came.

- CURTIS: What the hell you talking about?

Nobody scared with Calvin.

- Curtis, you were scared.

You were crying every night.

- Not 'cause I was scared.

I was sad, baby. - Sad?

- My playa days was over.

- Curtis?

- I couldn't swing no more.

- ELLA: Curtis? - That's why I was sad.

- We were married.

When are you telling your parents?

- As soon as I go back home.

- This is gonna be an eventful evening.

- I know you're disappointed.

- I am very disappointed, baby.

We can be disappointed, but we're still gonna love you

and that baby.

- Thank you, Auntie Ella.

- Speak for yourself, Ella.

- I mean it.

- Thank you, Aunt Ella.

You always make me feel better. - I mean it.

So when we meeting this girl?

- Well, she's driving around. I can call her.

- Driving around? - She driving around 285.

I told her to get off at the end.

- CURTIS: [laughs]

- She gonna be driving.

Isn't 285 a circle?

- Got you a bright one, huh?

- Listen, my parents don't like her.

- Go call her.

- Okay.

- Malik, come here for a minute, baby.

- Are you gonna--are you gonna hit me again?

- Yes. - Oh!

- Don't--nah-ah, don't move. - Okay.

- Don't move. - Yeah, just take it.

- Don't move. - Ooh.

- Ooh!

- Uhh!

- That hurt me. - Now go call her.

- Okay.

S--

Excuse me.

- Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord.

- Curtis, come and sit down. - They're holding hands, baby.

They holding--he holding hands with her.

- Come on, Curtis, come on, sit down.

Sit down, sit down! - Here they come.

Wait, here they come, here they come.

Here they come. Come on, act natural.

Act natural. - Curtis!

Ah, don't you go push me. - Act natural.

I didn't know what that was.

Why would I push you?

- Act natural. - Act natural.

- [knocking at door]

- Oh, look, baby.

I didn't know you were coming.

- [chuckles] Auntie Ella, Uncle Curtis, this is Lisa.

- Hey, what's up?

- Damn!

- Curtis. Mm-mm.

- Did I say that? - Mm-hmm.

- I'm sorry, baby.

That was in my soul.

That was--she--damn, boy.

[indistinct mumbling]

Just give me a hug, boy!

- Are you--Uncle Curtis, you better look at Aunt Ella.

- [laughs] Why?

[indistinct mumbling]

- Oh, you really trying to get murdered, Curtis.

- I'm sorry, but-- - Baby, don't do this--

- I'm just saying-- - Not now.

- Look at her, baby.

She is fine.

- [laughs] Hi, I'm Ella.

- I said, "Hey, what's up?"

- [laughs]

- And this is my soon-to-be ex-husband, Curtis.

- Oh, soon-to-be ex, what's up?

- What's up? Girl, what's up with you?

[laughs] - [giggling]

- [laughing]

Come on, have a seat. - LISA: Okay, thank you.

- There you go, sit down. - What, you--

Curtis, if you don't sit down--

- [giggles]

- Hey, Malik, I wanna holler at you in the kitchen.

- Now?

- Right now.

[laughs]

He'll be back, baby.

- Yes.

- Yeah, girl talk.

Yeah, I bring Malik back, baby.

- ELLA: I said okay. - CURTIS: Okay.

Guuh!

- Yes, Uncle Curtis?

- Man!

What, huh?

Huh?

What she--girl is fine.

Do you hear me? - I hear you.

- Do you hear what I'm saying to you?

- I hear you, Uncle Curtis.

- I see why you like her so much.

- I mean, she is really sweet.

- Yeah, whatever.

That girl is fine, Jack.

- Okay, Uncle Curtis. - Man, she is fire!

I'm so glad you got it in you.

You got it in you, nephew.

You got it in you, boy.

- What are you talking about?

- Man, you pull a girl like that?

Do you see her groove up there?

- I've seen her, clearly.

Will you cut it out? - Boy!

The body is bangin'.

Can I say that?

I'm gonna keep it 100 with ya. - MALIK: Okay.

- And the booty is shuzam!

All over the place.

- You better not let Auntie Ella hear you say that.

- Yeah, Aunt Ella ain't even in the conversation.

Okay? She don't count on this one.

You heard me?

Yeah, I mean--I mean, it's been so long, I got used to her.

- Okay.

- But Auntie--don't get me wrong.

Aunt Ella's beautiful.

Hear me when I tell you, Ella ain't never looked like that.

- Uncle Curtis?

- Do you hear what I'm saying to you?

- MALIK: Okay.

- She ain't even in the ballpark with that right there.

- MALIK: I hear you.

- That's a whole 'nother situation.

You hear me? - You might wanna stop.

- That girl is fire.

You hear me? - Curtis?

- Is she behind me? - MALIK: Yes.

- Oh damn.

- No, go on. - Hmm?

- Keep talking.

- No, we was about to pray. - "She's so fine."

- We're about to pray, baby.

- Keep talking, Curtis.

- Baby, I was--

- Ella ain't never look like what?

- What did you hear--you heard what?

[indistinct mumbling]

Baby, I'm--I'm sorry.

You know you're the only one for me, baby.

- Don't come over here. Don't come over here.

I'll deal with you later.

Come on, Malik.

In here, let's talk.

- I love you. - Mm-mm.

- Thank you. - Mmm.

'Cause your uncle's gonna be on the couch tonight.

You heard me. - I said I'm sorry.

Baby, I'm sorry. - ELLA: Stop. Don't beg now.

Get in here.

- I don't mind going in there, Lisa in there.

She's a guest.

Today, after this, you family.

[laughs]

- That's right.

- [laughs]

- [laughs] Curtis, too much. Too much.

Too much.

So, how long have you known each other?

- About two months.

- Two months?

- LISA: Yeah.

- That's all?

And you got her pregnant?

- Yeah, he good like that.

[laughs]

- [laughs] I love her.

- [chuckles]

So, you two wanna get married?

- [laughs] I don't believe in marriage.

- You don't? - No.

- Baby, the Bible says--

- I don't believe in the Bible either.

- Mm.

- Is that right?

- I just don't get no marriage, nah.

Like, I love you so much,

let's let the government tell us what to do? Uh-uh.

- Now, see, you know what, lovely?

- Lisa. - Lovely Lisa.

I know what you're saying.

You got a point. - Curtis!

- Am I talking too much? - Yes, too much.

- Okay, sorry, baby.

- So, you met his parents?

- Yeah, but that ain't go too well.

- I see.

- You know they a bit like, uh...

"conservation."

- You mean conservative? - LISA: Yes.

I told Malik though, that's what happen when people get old,

you know?

They get all deep and religious, all that crazy stuff.

- ELLA: I got deep and religious too,

all that crazy stuff.

[chuckles]

- That's good for you, girl.

- Ha-ha, yes, it was, girl.

And God has been good to me.

- I know he must be, because this house is nice!

- Thank you. - You come on by anytime.

- You so nice. [giggles]

- And her teeth so white and pretty. [laughs]

- Keep it up.

So, Malik, when are you telling your parents?

- Today. We 'bout to go over there.

- Soon as my dad gets back home.

- Oh-oh-oh-oh!

Oh, this is about to be an eventful evening.

- And as I said, they don't really like me.

- Well, we like you.

- Why do you think Janine and C.J. don't like you?

- When they found out what I did for a living,

they looked at me sideways.

- Well, what do you do for a living, baby?

- I'm a dancer.

- Okay, well, Janine likes the ballet.

I don't think she would frown upon that.

- Right. - ELLA: Dancer.

She loves to dance.

- Mm-mm, girl, I ain't no ballet dancer.

[laughs] I'm a stripper.

- Curtis.

- [laughs] Can we see something now?

- ♪

- Say what?

- Yeah, girl, on stage they call me

Delicious. - Delicious.

- How you know that?

- It's a gift, baby.

You know I got the seeing gift.

- ELLA: The what? - The seeing gift.

- I see.

And you're gonna tell them about the baby today?

- We will. Right, Malik?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Alrighty then.

- Oh, she running.

She running.

- Oh, yes, I am.

- She going fast.

- Oh, yes. [laughs]

I'm not gonna even get shoes,

I'm gonna wear my house shoes for this.

[laughs] Are you coming, baby?

- I sure am.

- ELLA: Come on, Curtis! - I'm coming.

- ELLA: Oh, Janine, here we come!

- Oh, I'm coming. - Come on, Curtis.

Oh, this is gonna be good. [laughs]

- Delicious!

- ♪

- ♪