Original subtitles

No, you-- you handle your conference, because I've got

everything here, OK?

It'll be fine until you get back in town.

Yeah, yeah.

I got the kids. OK.

All right, baby. Love you too.

Bye.

Dad?

Hey, Jazzy.

Do I need to call the fire department?

You do realize I run the fire department, right?

No, I'm-- I'm blackening the salmon.

You see? It's just blackening.

You're just gonna have a little blackened salmon.

You done had blackened salmon before.

Oh, it's blackened, all right.

So what's cooking, good-looking?

So how was your day at school?

Oh, it was great.

It really was.

So when is Mom gonna be home?

Uh, a week.

A week?

We not gonna last week a week.

Hey, hey! Don't say that.

I got this.

Now, you understand?

You can see that.

I got this.

Oh, you-- you got this, Dad!

Yes, I got it.

You know, Dad, you're--

you're just the best.

You know that.

You're just-- you love your family.

CJ: Yeah.

You love your kids.

Yeah.

You love me.

Of course I do.

All right.

You know, you just-- you'd do anything to make any one of us

happy, wouldn't you?

What you want, girl?

Well, Dad, since Mom is gone, I'm stuck with you.

What you want?

I wanna go to the school dance with Jeremy.

What was that?

[theme music]

I wanna go to the school dance with Jeremy.

Say that-- Say that to me again.

I want to go to a school dance with Jeremy.

-

Can you say that to me one more time?

Because I think I'm hearing something.

I really ain't sure I'm hearing what I'm hearing.

Just one more time.

I wanna go to the school dance with Jeremy.

His mom is coming too.

His mom is gonna pick us up, and take us there, and stay

with us the whole time.

You wanna go to a dance?

Yes.

With a boy.

And you wanna do all that stuff you all be doing,

all them dances?

Yes, Dad.

[sigh]

You wanna go to a dance?

Yes, Dad.

With a boy.

OK, come on, Dad.

Remember when y'all used to go to dances

like back in the old day, and you, you used to do hoe downs.

You used to do all that.

See, I wanna do that.

You wanna go to your first dance with a boy?

Yes.

Named "Jeremy?"

Yes.

Ain't that the boy that smells like hot trash?

Dad, that's his cologne.

That's the name of it?

Gar-bazh.

OK, that's not even him.

That's Jaylen.

Jeremy asked me to go to the dance.

Well, don't he wear cologne too?

Do they both wear cologne?

I don't know.

Come on now.

Somebody need to let them boys know they stinking, all of 'em.

OK.

OK, do you wanna tell 'em?

What?

CJ: You wanna tell 'em they stinking?

No, Dad. No.

You know what? Just put all this down.

Stop all this.

Stop all this madness.

Come on.

Sit down just a little bit.

Sit.

Listen to me!

OK?

Focus, focus.

Focus, OK?

Now, repeat after me.

I want to go to the school dance with Jeremy.

I want to go to the school dance with Jeremy.

Yes, Dad, yes!

I can't go, 'cause I got to do all of this.

I got to look after the twins.

I got--

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, focus, focus!

All right, now repeat after me again.

This is the part where you say "yes."

Say "yes."

This is the part where I say "yes."

No!

No, I don't know, Jazmine.

I really don't know.

Because you--

Come on, Dad.

I mean, a school dance? Come on.

- Dad, come on, please! - You gonna go with a boy?

I can't--

My first school-- please, Dad.

- I can't hear you. - Dad, please.

I can't hear you.

Please let me go.

I'm sorry, but I can't hear you.

I don't hear what you're saying, baby.

That's what I'm saying.

I can't hear you.

What are you saying?

[sobbing]

I can't hear you!

[sobbing]

You talking about going to the school dance.

I still can't hear you.

[crying]

OK.

OK.

OK!

Just bring the boy over and let me talk to him.

OK, Dad.

Fine.

But don't freak him out. 'Cause you

know how you can be sometimes.

I'm not gonna do nothing.

Just need a little time to clean out my shotgun.

I'm kidding.

It's gonna be fine.

Thanks, dad.

All right, baby.

OK.

Hey, listen.

That whole tears and fake crying and all that, that ain't

worked since you was five.

And this whole cooking thing you got going on?

Yeah, that ain't never worked for you.

Calvin, Miranda, kids?

Ella?

Ella's not here.

I've got the house all to myself!

All to myself!

Good.

Finally.

Oh hell.

What's up, Unc?

Aunt Ella.

Where's Aunt Ella?

Hey, what you reading?

Oh, it's a great book.

It's called "The Unwanted Guest."

It's about this guy who gets tired of his family barging in,

so he takes 'em on a camping trip

and leaves 'em in the woods.

I need a favor.

It's too late, OK?

Your cousin and his wife done cleaned me out.

I don't need money.

Good.

I need advice from somebody fair, objective, and wise.

Oh.

Well, that's why God put me here.

OK.

From you?

Aunt Ella!

Aunt Ella!

I told you she's not here.

So you're either gonna get the advice from me

or you ain't gonna get it all.

OK, tell Aunt Ella I came by.

Get back here.

Don't you touch that door!

Get in here!

Come on, man.

We family.

What's wrong with you?

Treat me like that.

You know I'm sensitive.

OK, OK.

What you need?

It's just that--

Take your time.

Not that much time.

Jazmine wants to go to a dance.

CJ, that's beautiful.

Every little girl gotta grow up, CJ.

With a boy.

And every little boy gotta die, CJ.

I don't wanna kill him.

You don't have to kill him.

All you gotta do is tie him and lock him in the trunk

till the dance is over.

See, this is why I wanted to talk to Aunt Ella.

See, 'cause she could just walk me through it,

'cause she's already been through it

with me and with Calvin.

Hey, why you keep talking like I wasn't there?

Huh?

Hey, I'm the one that raised you.

I'm the one that made you a man.

You and Calvin, I made you a man.

I put the fear of God in you.

I put the fear of God in Calvin.

And I'm gonna put the fear of God in that little boy.

You gonna do it with me?

Can I help, please?

Yeah, let's do it.

That's what I thought.

What the hell?

What the hell they doing in here?

Oh, this is ridiculous.

[inaudible] Y'all could use some bread.

CJ!

You get out here right now.

What the hell is all this?

Come on, the twins are upstairs sleeping.

The babies sleep?

Yeah, they sleeping. Come on.

You got the little babies up there sleeping?

I don't care about those doggone twins!

Get your hands off.

Is he here yet?

No, it's 8:30.

Oh.

Good.

I'm just in time.

Yeah.

You ready to play good cop, bad cop?

No, let's play-- let's play bad cop, bad cop.

Let's do it!

uh, uh!

- I got some stuff. - What you got?

What you got?

What you got there?

I got the bat.

Yeah, OK.

And I got the crowbar.

So predictable.

- That's no good? - Amateur.

What you got?

Come on, man. Come on.

Come on.

You gotta do better than that.

You gotta take it back to the--

Oh, you got the whole kung-fu What else you got?

Get a load of that.

What's that?

[electric crackle]

You can't forget the--

Yeah.

And wonder tape.

We got plans!

OK.

We gonna scare the mess out of him.

You ready to do this?

Yes, sir!

Let's do it!

He actually-- he coming.

He coming.

I see somebody.

Damn.

OK, here we go. Here we go.

Come on. - OK.

OK.

I'll pitch.

You catch.

Hi, Mr. Payne.

Get on in here!

You gonna get in here!

You gonna get in here!

What's up, fool?

Don't you hear him talking to you?

What's your name?

It's Jeremy.

The hell!

You answer when you're spoken to!

You confused?

You sound confused.

You don't know what your name is?

What's your name?

It's Jeremy.

You already said that!

That's my name.

You smoking?

No, sir.

You drink?

No, sir.

You smell like--

smell like you been drinking! - No, sir.

You need to change the tone of your voice!

What your parents do for a living?

My mom's a surgeon, and my dad's a karate instructor.

Oh, you know karate?

We supposed to be scared?

Yeah, ain't nobody scared 'cause you know karate.

How old you think he is, CJ?

How old are you?

13.

13?

Did you say 13?

Boy, look 30.

I put him at 35, 40.

30, 35, right?

35, 40? - Least 35.

Yeah.

Yeah, we gonna go with 30, boy. CURTIS: You look familiar.

Look

He went to school with Calvin.

That's where I seen him from!

This boy went to school.

He was at the graduation.

I saw him!

How girls you had at school with Calvin?

Who's Calvin?

Don't act like you don't know nobody!

Do you asked Jazmine to the dance, huh?

And you think I'm supposed to just let you take

my little baby to the dance?

Yes, sir.

You think Jazzy is cute?

Yes, sir.

You been looking at her like that?

No, sir, no, sir!

What's your mama's name?

Beverly.

Beverly?

Oh no, Jazz is not going to no dance with him!

Beverly?

Hey, you live on Ponce?

No, sir.

We moved.

Maybe this a bad idea.

A bad idea?

Where you think you going?

You ain't going nowhere!

[sobbing]

Are you crying?

Are you crying?

Man, there's no crying in asking a girl to a dance.

No crying!

Son, stop.

Stop crying.

Now, I just want to make sure that if I let

my daughter go with you and your mother to that dance, then

she'll be safe.

Now, one day, when you have children of your own,

you'll understand why.

Yes, sir.

I understand.

You understand?

What, you planning on having kids?

No, sir!

- You got kids? - No, sir.

None.

[inaudible]

Now, you look--

you look like a good kid.

You look like.

just wanna make sure that you have Jazmine back here by 9:00

untouched.

You understand what that means?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

You know what "untouched" means?

Yes, sir.

That's what we don't you to do.

- That's right. - This, no.

This, OK.

This, no.

You understand?

Yes, sir, yes, sir!

[sniffing]

Boy, what is the name of that cologne you wearing?

CJ, that's not cologne.

Oh, come on, baby.

She's getting dressed. No.

Let me get that.

Yeah, I'll-- I'll take some pictures for you.

OK? - That Janine?

CJ: Yeah.

- Tell her I said hey. - Unc said, "hey."

Hey, tell her to bring me something back.

He said "bring him back something."

All right.

OK, baby?

I'll talk to you later.

You ain't tell her what I wanted.

OK, what you want?

Tell her to bring me back some steaks.

Unc said, "bring him back a steak."

All right, baby.

Or two.

"Or two." All right.

Love you.

All right.

OK. - Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go again.

Gonna have some fun.

But we gotta play pitch, catch.

No.

Come on, I wanna play pitch, catch!

One more time.

Oh yeah, here he is!

You ready?

Yeah.

Hey, Mr. Payne.

You, you gonna get in here!

Get on in here!

Get in here!

Is this how you always greet people?

Yes.

Is Jazmine ready?

Yes, I believe she is.

Let me call her down.

[WHISPERING]: Jazmine?

Jazmine, Jeremy's here.

She'll be right down.

You look nice.

You do look spiffy, though.

Yeah, I like that.

You know, nice, but conservative.

Thank you.

That's a nice haircut you've got too.

Kind of a smooth guy.

You sure you ain't got some other girlfriends?

No.

Jazmine!

Come on down.

Jeremy's here.

There she is!

Look at my princess, looking all beautiful.

Look just like your mother.

Stand like a gentleman!

Hey, Jeremy.

Hey, Jazmine.

Hey!

See, that's what I'm talking about.

That right there, that's what I'm talking about.

That's what I'm talking about.

We said no touching.

We said no touching!

Don't make me do that.

Relax.

Don't make me do that, OK?

Good touch, bad touch!

Uncle Curtis!

Would you guys please relax?

You are embarrassing me.

Look at my little girl all grown up.

You know what?

Let me get a picture for your mama.

Come on. Y'all go ahead.

Get over there with your friend.

- Let's take a picture. - Come on, Jeremy.

You ready?

Come on, Jeremy. Look at that.

See that?

You follow rules so good, Jeremy.

Yeah, there you go.

Let me see.

CJ: Yeah, look at that.

Look at it.

Got a Nice one.

Got a nice one.

Want her back by 9:00.

You heard me?

I said 9:00. - Yes, sir!

Didn't I say 9:00?

Yes, sir.

What time did I say?

9:00.

You're all grown up.

Now, listen.

You got your cell phone on you?

Yes.

OK, 'cause you know I'm gonna be calling you now.

I know, dad.

All right, 'cause I just want you to know that--

Dad, you guys raised me well, and I won't disappoint you.

OK.

Now, listen, you ain't raised yet, OK?

OK.

All right.

Love you, Dad.

No touching.

You better do none of that.

Oh, you just gonna leave like that?

You just gonna walk in front of a lady like that?

You got no respect!

But we taught you so well.

Thought we were doing-- relax, relax.

I'm gonna show you how to do it.

This is the last time.

I'm ain't showing you again.

You heard me?

You open the door for the lady.

You say, "madam."

Now you do it.

Madam.

Use your other hand!

Madam.

You know that's the wrong hand!

Madam?

What time you supposed to be back?

- 9:00. - Uh-huh.

And what? What else?

I can't hear you?

No touching?

You're a smart boy.

Why you moving so fast?

Why you moving so fast?

[honking]

Bye, have a good night, Miss Jones.

That's Beverly.

That is Beverly.

That is Beverly.

Beverly.

That's Beverly.

That's Beverly's son!

That might be your son.

You shut your mouth!

You shut your mouth!

You might be his daddy.

Good touch, bad touch!

[theme music]