All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S08E51 - Bake, Rattle and Roll WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

[music playing]

Oh, hey, Jessie.

What are you doing here?

Oh, school's out this week, so I'm helping

Auntie Ella at the help center.

Oh.

Wait.

Those smell like my famous buttermilk biscuits.

I'm surprising Auntie Ella and Uncle Curtis with something

I made from scratch.

I'm gonna tell them to come get them while they hot.

Hey.

Oh, what's that smell?

Baby, say excuse me.

No.

Jazmine is making biscuits.

Biscuits made that smell?

Mm-hmm.

You want some coffee?

Yeah, but I got to take it on the run.

I got to get to work.

I'm already late.

OK.

You must have been really tired.

You fell right asleep when you got home.

Yeah, uh, CJ and Janine have me everywhere.

By the time I get home, I'm already tired.

Oh, OK.

Well, are you gonna say bye to the kids

before I take them to daycare?

Yeah, just give me a minute.

I wanna grab some fruit or something.

OK, be right back.

What was you doing?

Uh, taking my vitamins.

You gotta take your vitamins if you want to be strong.

Then you better take a handful because Uncle

Curtis said you're about as strong as wet toilet paper.

Oh!

My biscuits are almost ready.

You want one?

No, cuz, maybe next time.

ELLA: Jazzy!

Here we come!

We cannot wait to--

[cough]

--uh, try these biscuits.

You sure of that?

ELLA: Curtis.

I told Calvin to take that trash out.

Ugh!

Is that where that smell is coming from?

What are those?

Ta-da!

They're biscuits!

Ugh!

OK, why do they look like pancakes and smell

like rotten meat?

You know what, Curtis, sometimes things taste better

than they look, don't they?

OK, look, these may be tore up,

but there are two things I can make--

that's bacon and biscuits.

And which one are these again?

OK.

Curtis.

Don't, baby.

Um.

These are harder than my pre-trig class.

I just knew I had it this time.

OK, Jazzy, why don't you just let me teach you how to bake?

- OK! - Yes.

Do you mind tasting one of those

and seeing where I went wrong?

Well, first you came in the kitchen.

Curtis.

Number one.

OK, now let me see.

Which one do I want?

Ella, don't really do it, though.

Don't do it. - Which one?

Don't do it.

Rescue me.

- Yeah, baby, I'm trying to. - I'm gonna pick this one.

OK.

[inaudible]

No, don't do it.

Oh no.

[sirens]

[tires screeching]

I told you I was gonna get to the bottom of it.

Now, let me get back to you.

OK.

[knocking]

Come in.

You OK?

I'm sorry.

The mayor's office is giving me a hard time

about us promoting those bad carbon monoxide detectors.

Yeah.

I told them we were on top of it,

but it still doesn't look good.

Well, I guess now would not be the best time for me

to tell you that Calvin still has not turned in the reports

on open flame violations.

I thought you said those were due yesterday?

It was, but he assured me he'd have it

here first thing this morning.

I still haven't seen him yet.

You need to talk to Calvin.

I tried, but he gets all defensive.

Fine, I'll speak to him.

Calvin used to do OK work, but now it's just sloppy.

Knock knock.

Hey, CJ.

I'm sorry for barging in, but they

told me Janine was in here.

Janine, I just wanted to get you this report as soon

as possible. - Thank you.

I was getting worried. - I'm sorry.

I just wanted to make sure I had the whole southeast

area covered. - Wait, wait, wait.

South-- whoa, whoa, I told you southwest area.

No, Janine-- JANINE: Southwest.

- No. - That's what I said.

No, you said southeast.

Calvin, we are focusing our next safety

campaign on the southwest area.

OK, I'm sorry, guys. Look, I can get started on it.

Don't worry about it. You'll never finish it in time.

I'll just do it myself.

Look, CJ, I'm willing to fix it.

Fix it?

It shouldn't have to be fixed.

Do your job.

I'm trying.

No one is gonna constantly have to clean up your mess.

You need to get it together.

Yeah.

Now, you've got to have baking powder, baby.

I think that's where I went wrong with my biscuits.

Among other things.

OK, so you're mixing all of your dry ingredients,

like flour--

OK, let me do it.

--and sugar, and-- uh-huh, that's good.

Now, sugar. Sugar.

Just a cup. Just more or less.

More or less.

OK, I got this, Auntie Ella.

I got this.

These are gonna be the best cupcakes ever.

OK.

Well, look, just stick to the list, OK?

JAZMINE: Love you. - Love you, too.

- Bye. - Stick to the list.

OK.

ELLA: And I'll be back to check up on you.

OK.

Wow.

Hey.

Hello.

So how is Chef "Boyardee-saster?"

Curtis, I showed her how to make cupcakes.

Well, I hope they're better than her biscuits.

Curtis, this morning I think we hurt Jazmine's feelings when

we did not eat her biscuits.

Ella, this morning, her biscuits hurt my feelings.

Remember, baby, just be sweet, sweet, sweet.

Sweet.

Sweet.

Sweet!

Oh, so too much sugar in them?

No.

No.

No.

Couldn't be no more than what, a pound, pound and a half

in this one?

Well, I-- I'm sure they're really good with milk.

Or insulin.

Jazmine, did you follow my instructions?

Yes, ma'am, you said put a cup of sugar in there more or less.

Baby, sometimes less is more.

Are they OK?

Yes, they're fine.

They are fine.

Yes!

I want to make some more for the bake sale at the help center.

Wait.

And I'm gonna do it all by myself.

Isn't that great?

It's something, all right.

I'm gonna call my mom and tell her.

OK.

You call your-- Curtis, there's no way

in the world I can let her come to the help center

and sell some cupcakes.

Well, then you need to tell her.

I can't tell her, Curtis.

You saw how excited she was.

OK, then you better make a sign that says

cupcakes $1, diabetes free.

Did you work the, uh, carbon monoxide detector project?

Yeah.

Jonathan had the numbers wrong, but I

went ahead and changed them.

You didn't check with anyone?

I checked the list.

You used an old list.

Those detectors were banned.

What?

Yeah, there's an updated list.

I can't believe you let this happen.

Do you read e-mails?

I-- I thought I was doing the right thing.

You thought?

This is a major mistake.

OK, well, I'll--

I'll fix it.

Just let me know what I need to do.

I'm gonna have to take action on this.

Take action?

What kind of action?

I'm suspending you without pay for a week.

What?

For making a mistake?

You-- you're joking, right?

CJ, excuse me, I really need to get

with you about this report--

Well, Janine makes mistakes.

Wait, wait, wait.

What are we talking about?

Yeah, last week you had the wrong address

for the location of the new fire station ceremony.

She did.

Yes, I did, but I corrected it before the press

release was sent out.

Yeah, but that's still a mistake.

Yes, a mistake that I fixed before anybody else--

I correct my mistake, but--

[interposing voices]

None of this has anything to do with your situation.

So what, everybody can make mistakes except me?

And I-- I'm the one that gets suspended for it?

I could've--

What is that?

That's my medication.

Whoa.

I thought you were OK.

Why are you still taking those?

Because I'm still in pain, but you guys wouldn't

care nothing about that.

Hey.

Hey.

Where is everyone?

Well, Jazzy is, um, with your parents at the help center,

and I'm about to go pick up the kids from daycare.

What's going on, Calvin?

CJ suspended me for a week because I

made a couple of mistakes.

Really?

Yeah, first Janine gets upset because I made

an honest mistake on a report.

Then this afternoon CJ gets mad at something else

and decides he wants to suspend me.

And then what did you say?

Well, I reminded him that Janine makes mistakes, too,

but he wasn't trying to hear it.

And that's it.

Yeah, it's some bull, right?

Calvin, let's talk about the pills.

Yeah, I bet they blew that out of proportion, too.

Calvin, Janine called me, and she said that you told

her you were still in pain.

Why didn't you say anything to me about this?

Because nobody cares what I'm going through.

I mean, you and CJ had a fit about me going back to work.

I was shot.

I was still in pain, but nobody cares about that.

I do care.

I didn't know about it.

Why didn't you tell me?

It's not a big deal.

It's not a big deal.

Then why are you on the pills?

Look, Miranda, I don't want to talk about this.

The pills aren't a problem.

Now let's drop it.

OK, fine.

Fine.

I'm going to get the kids.

Hey, the bake sale is going, well, huh?

Yes, but not for Jazzy, baby.

Her cupcakes are not selling.

Look at her.

Baby, you should have stayed with her

while she was cooking them.

I tried, Curtis, but she said she wanted to do it herself,

and I did not want to discourage her.

I was honest as I could be.

Hm.

Well, next time try the truth.

Come on, people.

Give a kid a break.

Whatever happened to I believe the children are our future?

Rough day, huh

The roughest.

Auntie Ella, I'm a terrible cook.

No, you are not.

Jazzy, you are not a terrible cook.

You have enthusiasm, and you have an imagination.

Then why isn't anybody buying my cupcakes.

Let's see.

How can I put this?

Oh, have you ever seen a platypus?

That creepy looking mammal?

Nobody knows if it's the duck, a beaver, or an otter?

Just like your cupcakes.

But-- but, no, it's a wonderful creature.

It just looks a little strange, like your cupcakes.

Well, I'll admit they aren't pretty, but they're good.

So how do I get people to try them?

I don't know, but I do know that a smile

goes a long, long way.

Here.

Have a platypus.

And one for Uncle Curtis please.

We shall die together.

Hi.

Do you guys want to try my cupcakes?

Do any of you want to buy one?

You do?

You would?

Go! Hurry.

Yes.

Yes.

Curtis, people are buying her cupcakes.

I know.

I know.

I know.

Baby, I couldn't stand to see Jazzy hurt like that.

So I told the people my grandbaby

worked hard to make them cupcakes,

and it was for a good cause.

Oh, Curtis.

I'm so proud of you.

Thank you.

Yeah, I also gave them $5 apiece to buy the cupcakes.

Curtis, they seem to really be enjoying them.

Yeah, I know.

I told them to buy them.

I didn't tell them to eat them.

Curtis, this is good.

Mm.

Curtis, this is good.

That is good.

Jazzy!

Jazzy!

Baby, you put your foot in it.

Thank you.

Auntie Ella, I followed your directions.

Oh yeah, and Auntie Ella, do you have any change?

Because all these people just have $5 bills.

Leave that there.

Look, don't eat my cupcake. I'll be back.

I'm going to get my money back.

I can-- I can find you that, Curtis.

Hey, look it.

Everybody I gave $5 to--

I need that back right now.

I'm trying to get that back.

She can hear you.

She don't know what's happening.

Hey, hey, hey! Look it!

Hey, fella!

Hey, brother, hold on!

Hey, [inaudible].

What is wrong with Calvin?

Curtis, now we have got to keep a level head about this.

Calvin is gonna be furious when he finds out I

told you about the pain pills.

Please, you did the right thing.

And then the doctor said that he has not written Calvin

a prescription in months.

So I don't know where Calvin is getting these pain pills from.

He said they are highly addictive,

and Calvin should not be taking them.

Great.

What is it about this house, baby?

It's like a drug magnet.

Hey.

ELLA: Hey.

I he here yet?

No.

Well, we've got the kids all squared away.

Well, who's gonna talk to him?

JANINE: Miranda. - No, no.

JANINE: No, you should.

You're his wife.

He does not want to hear anything that I have to say.

So I mean, I don't know what I can do more

than tell him I'm here for him.

Yeah, well I got plenty to say.

Curtis, he should not feel like we are attacking him.

Yes.

So baby, promise me this.

Promise me that you just not gonna go off.

Fine.

Well, promise me, baby.

Baby, I said fine.

What?

Have a seat.

Calvin.

Baby, this is an intervention.

You need to stop taking them pills.

Curtis!

Are you serious?

An intervention?

Listen, baby, I needed to bring all of your family here

so you can hear how your actions are affecting everyone's lives.

You gotta be kidding me.

It's definitely affecting your performance at work.

I agree.

OK, I made a couple of mistakes at work.

But see? Just like that.

When I try to talk to you about it, you're short tempered,

and you're defensive.

OK, Calvin, if you have--

If?

If, Ella?

Come on, baby.

Stop babying him.

He's got a problem.

I'm gonna go sell the TV before he does.

Why is pops tripping?

He's not tripping, Calvin.

He just wants to make sure that you are

not going to ruin your life.

Yeah, well I'm not.

Well you on the verge of losing your job.

Oh no.

And then-- then when you come home, you go right to sleep,

and you don't even spend time-- - Come on, Miranda.

--with me, the kids, your family.

Come on, Miranda.

I don't wanna do that. - What?

And don't steal any of my albums.

Man, nobody's gonna steal your albums.

Then where is Chaka Khan?

Whatever.

Ain't nobody got a problem with pills.

Where are you getting them?

Where are you getting this medicine from?

It don't matter.

MIRANDA: The doctor did not write you a prescription.

Y'all making it bigger than what it is.

Nobody care about the album. - [inaudible]

[everyone shouting] - Hold it!

Stop! Everybody just stop!

Please, he's right.

Calvin is right.

He does not have a problem with pills.

- Thank you. - Oh, great.

MIRANDA: What?

Now Janine's back on drugs.

You gonna start stealing albums, too?

JANINE: Would you just-- just hear me out.

Just for a second.

Calvin does not have a problem with pills.

The pills are a symptom of something else.

What do you mean?

When I used, it wasn't because I loved taking the drugs.

I-- I loved the way the drugs made me feel,

which was nothing.

Look at me.

Calvin, I could escape my reality.

I felt no pain, had no troubles.

I had-- it was nothing.

What are you running from?

I'm not running from nothing.

What are you running from?

I'm not running for any--

Yes, you are.

Most guys my age-- they have a house.

They have a nice car.

They have money in the bank.

I don't have none of that.

It seems like everything that I try to do--

it just ends up bad for me.

Hey, baby.

Listen, you have me and the kids.

Hey, we live at my parents' house.

We got evicted, remember?

My dad is a former fire chief.

CJ is the fire commissioner.

I just can't get my life right.

You feel like your life is passing you by.

Yes.

Like you're stuck on stop while everybody's going.

Yeah.

Trials and tribulations, Calvin.

Mom, look at what all I've been through.

I just want to do well.

I want to make y'all proud.

Hell, I want to make myself proud.

Son, you are a God fearing man and a man of your word.

And that's what makes me proud of you.

Look, you guys, I only take these pills

to relax a little bit.

Stop.

The first step to recovery is admitting

you have a problem, Calvin.

Baby.

I can help you.

We can all help you, Calvin.

We are not gonna leave you hanging.

Baby, baby, that's what family is for.

Please.

Please, let us help you.

Please.

Yeah.

You OK?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Thank you, Janine.

You got it.

[music playing]

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