Original subtitles

Malik!

The Panama Canal!

No sleeping on the job.

All these students and my wife's show habit

are depending on you.

What students?

It's

They'll be back.

They always come back.

Well, look, I'm sorry, Mr. Davis.

But between work and school work, my social life,

I just don't have any time for studying.

Social life?

Really?

OK, well just work and studying.

Drink some coffee.

It's On The House.

That'll be two bucks.

But you just said it was on the house.

That's the name of the coffee!

It costs two bucks.

So what if I didn't make the fraternity?

You know what?

You look like my last girlfriend,

minus the special shoe.

So let me get them digits.

OK, see, I can see this is going to be--

[groaning] Not again!

Was that mace?

No, it was hairspray.

Now my eyes are going to be stuck like this all day.

Take me home.

I can't, Sebastian.

I've gotta stay here and finish my shift.

And I've gotta study for my history exam.

I need help.

Yeah, well, so does my GPA.

But I've got to study.

Man, I'm exhausted.

You should just do what I do.

Go blind so I can't see the Fs on my paper?

[laughing mockingly] But you know what,

that's not a bad idea.

Yo, this coffee is terrible.

You know, you could just try some caffeine

pills to keep you awake.

Do those work?

Oh, yeah.

My roommate used them.

He aced an exam, finished two term papers, all while playing

"Chopsticks" on the trombone.

It was pretty amazing.

I gotta go.

I did not see that coming.

Oh, she must have used super hold.

[theme music]

Curtis!

Curtis, come on, baby.

You're supposed to be loading these bags for me.

Ella, look, calm down, baby.

I'm taking a break.

You've only moved one bag.

Our new system.

Move one bag, take one ten minute break.

Two bags, two breaks.

That way, I'll be finished by--

2 o'clock tomorrow.

Actually, I was thinking three.

But I see you want to push me.

- Curtis! - And I'm up for the challenge.

I'm up for it!

I need your help.

I'm asking you to--

[phone ringing]

Get the phone, baby.

Man.

You want me to get that?

Hello?

Yes, this is Ella Payne.

Is that today?

I completely forgot!

That's because you don't take breaks.

It helps the mind, babe.

Yes, yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, yes.

OK, and thank you for calling.

OK, all right, bye-bye.

Curtis, I completely forgot I have

a doctors appointment today.

And I cannot reschedule again.

Well, then, go.

Curtis, today is a big day at the Help Center.

We have the New Look, New Success event.

We have--

Baby, baby, baby, baby.

I got to stop you.

Because I stopped listening after today is a big day.

You're using up all my break time.

I'll just call Janine and see if she will cover for me.

Unless you will.

Oh, boy, you've been setting it up, ain't you?

I'm sorry!

You're right, you can't handle it.

Please, that is not work.

Excuse me?

What do you call it?

Bum traffic control.

Curtis!

Here's your free cheese, have a nice day.

Curtis, listen--

We really love you.

Curtis, these people--

Even though we don't know you, we're going to give

you some free cheese, OK?

These people are not bums.

What about the guy you caught peeing in the broom closet?

OK, he was a bum.

He was a bum.

But the rest of the people are just down on their luck, baby.

They just need a helping hand.

All right, like I said, unlucky bums.

You know what?

It is a good thing you do not run the help center.

I could run that place in my sleep.

You forget who you're talking to, girl?

Huh?

I ran a fire station for over 20 years!

Baby, what about my certificates?

I got ribbons!

I got-- I got keys to cities and stuff!

And yet I still have to pour milk over your cereal

every morning.

That's because your milk to cereal ratio--

bon a-- bon a--

bon a-pet-litter.

What?

I'm calling Janine, honey.

You know what? Give me the phone.

No, no.

Give me the phone!

No, no, Curtis.

I got it.

I got it.

I'm going to go down to the help center.

And I'm going to cover for you.

Because I'm going to show you that you are not the only one

that can run a help center.

- Are you sure? - Yeah!

With, wait, wait, Curtis.

OK, wait.

I don't want you to go down and run anything.

I just want you to go and help Gladys.

Gladys is gonna be there?

Gladys is there.

That's good, because me and Gladys run

the help center good together.

That's - my-- that's my partner.

Honey, you-- you dislocated her hip.

Yeah, but I pumped it back.

Two club sandwiches, enjoy your meal.

Thanks for coming, but we actually need this table.

Thank you.

Malik, you are doing the work of three people.

I'm impressed.

Thank you.

You know, I'm just doing what I do.

Some people can't handle the responsibility

of work and school.

So that's just what I do.

Hey, Malik.

How's it going?

It's going great.

Hey, Sebastian, you hungry?

We actually have a table that's opening up soon.

Some people just like to sit around and chat.

You know, I'm not actually one to chat, but--

Whoa, hey, look.

Slow down.

Are you OK? You're acting kind of strange.

Strange?

I don't see anything strange.

I don't know anything about strange.

You know, the origin of the word strange is actually French.

Excuse me, sir.

The Hub is for students only.

I am a student.

You sure?

You look 57 years old in that sweater, Mr. Rogers.

Rogers.

Really?

That wrinkle cream must not be working.

You should actually use a mayonnaise-based face mask.

It's actually better for your pores.

You know, you can add in some celery,

some onions, some tuna fish-- oh,

that sounds like a great salad.

I'll just head into the back--

Whoa.

Mr. D, could you excuse us please?

Mayonnaise for wrinkles.

That's just stupid.

Everybody knows you use hemorrhoid cream.

What is wrong with you?

Well, I took your advice and I popped

some of those caffeine pills.

And I feel great!

Oh, how many did you take?

- Just a couple. - Are you sure?

Because you are acting like a little tweaked out hummingbird,

man?

I'm sorry, but I feel great!

You know, I'm actually able to finish my school work

and do all my work around here.

And I learned how to play the ukulele.

Gotta go to class!

Please do not mix the clothes.

The ones in the bag are for the New Look, New Success program.

The ones on the rack are for the Midwest flood victims.

Do not mix the clothes, I repeat.

Jim, I need you to sweep the floor for me.

We good?

All right.

Gladys!

Don't you look at me with that attitude, Gladys.

You go over there and clean the kitchen for me.

And don't start that limping mess!

You wasn't limping when you came in here.

That hip was fixed!

Now, all of a sudden, you're limping!

Excuse me!

I need you to go pick up a candy bar for me.

Sugar free, please.

Are you trying to steal that dress?

Thank you.

And bring me back all your change.

Good job!

You're doing a good job.

What's up, Uncle?

Hey!

What are you doing here?

What are you guys doing here?

Aunt Ella thought you might need some help.

I told her I could handle this.

[phone ringing]

Help center.

Yes, today is the New Look, New Success program.

You get a new outfit for your job interview, blah blah blah.

They've been calling all day.

You sure you don't need any help?

I have this under control, thank you.

Gladys, you break anything, you're paying for it!

All right, I'm going to go see what's going on.

[phone ringing]

Yes.

Yes, today is the successful, new success day, whatever.

Look, if you don't have clothes or a job, how the hell

do you have a phone?

It's been all day!

[phone ringing]

Can't get work done with the phone ringing?

Are you going to answer that?

Mind your business.

Uncle Curtis, the kitchen is a mess!

Did you at least load the meals onto the van for delivery?

I told you, I have this under control.

Thank you.

[low explosion]

Gladys, you come out that kitchen!

Just get away from everything!

Goodness.

Look, the meals are already on the van.

They're packed on there.

I just-- I got the van running so it can warm up,

the engine will warm up. Do

You left the van running in this neighborhood?

Yes, I left it running in the-- what

the-- it's in the parking lot!

It's in the church parking lot!

What's going to happen to it?

[tires squealing]

Apparently, you can get jacked.

Yeah, gone.

That wasn't the van, was it?

Damn, damn, damn!

OK, thank you, officer.

We will be waiting for your call.

All right, thank you.

OK, what did the police say about getting the van back?

It Doesn't look good.

Ella's gonna kill us!

Us?

OK, there's only one logical thing left to do.

What?

Lie.

Blame it on you.

You do know we're in a church, right?

You do realize I'm in trouble, right?

I'm going to go check on Janine.

Why don't you go check on Janine?

Will you stop repeating everything?

Will you stop repeating everything I repeat?

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Police, yeah.

Did you find out anything about the van?

Mrs. Cooper?

Oh, OK.

Yeah, we delivered your Hey guys, you here for the clothes?

The flood victims?

They're in the boxes.

No, Mrs. Cooper.

Yes, Mrs. Cooper.

We put your carrots in the blender.

Yes, ma'am.

And your meat, we put it in the blender.

Ew.

OK, bless you, too.

OK, OK.

OK, so were you able to whip up any new meals?

I've only been gone for six minutes, OK?

There is nothing in that kitchen but a box of baking soda and

a fuzzy onion looking thing.

We have a microwave, Janine!

Come on, Janine, come on!

Come on, Janine!

OK, look, let's just get the clothes ready for the New Look,

New Success clients, all right?

What you need to do-- listen.

Listen, what you need to do right now is call the nursing

home, let them know they need to make other arrangements

for lunch today.

I will start organizing the New Look, New Success clothing.

OK.

Where is it?

Uncle Curtis, where's the clothes boxes?

Oh, my God, we've been robbed!

How have we been robbed and you've

been here the whole time?

Oh, my God!

We've got huge moths!

Oh, this just keeps getting worse.

Who are you telling?

There are people on their way here

and we have nothing to give them for their interviews!

Oh, the couriers!

They just came to pick up the clothes for the flood victims

and they took all the clothes!

So you still think you've got this whole thing under control?

Yes.

Well, Malik, you're doing a great job.

You know, I should think about giving you a raise.

Really?

No, not really.

But if you keep working this hard, I'll think about it.

Really?

No!

Not really.

I'll be in the back doing inventory.

Good job today.

I'll see you tomorrow.

What's up, player?

Are you done?

Yeah, but I need to conserve my energy.

I'm tired.

Well, you better take a quick nap, because our exam

is in two hours.

Oh, I can't do that.

I'm going to stay here and study.

Hey, you want to study with me?

What?

No, thanks.

I have my own method of passing an exam.

I'm almost afraid to ask.

It's called the three Bs.

First, I try and bribe.

Then, I try and BS.

And if all else fails, I fall on my knees and pray.

But that doesn't start with a B.

I have a strong 1.7.

Need I say more?

You go ahead and get your tissues ready.

I'm going to stay here and study.

Well, suit yourself.

But after you humiliate yourself a few times, it gets easier.

Malik!

The blue whale!

You're not my history professor.

You know, I could have been.

I was good back then with all that book learning

and the history and that stuff.

Oh, no!

My exam, I gotta go!

Hi.

Oh, here we go! Here we go!

Here we go!

Got the perfect shirt for you.

Blam!

It screams success.

There you go.

You're gonna-- good luck at the mayor's office!

You're gonna get that job.

[QUIETLY] He ain't gonna get that job.

Hey, come on, so what did the police say about the van?

We good?

Still don't know.

Not a word.

What are we gonna tell Ella?

Tell me what?

[HIGH PITCHED VOICE] Nothing!

OK, Curtis.

Your voice just went up eight octaves.

So either you are impersonating Little Richard or you're lying.

Oh, go ahead, tell her, Unc.

I see all the clothes are gone, Curtis.

So how did the New Look, New Success event go?

Success-- ful--

ly.

Did you deliver all the meals?

They're all gone.

They're gone.

And where's the van, baby?

Outside.

Stop lying, OK?

Just stop lying.

You don't even know where the van is.

[HIGH PITCHED VOICE] How do you know that?

Because I took it this morning,

Curtis, to deliver the meals, baby.

Because you left the van running outside.

Oh, so you took it?

Yes, yes.

Let me call the police and let them know we retrieved the van.

I took it, Curtis, because I knew you

were going to mess things up.

You have no idea.

Did I say that out loud?

Yes, you did.

I also, Curtis, had to pick up the clothes.

I picked up all the dress clothes, baby.

The driver called me, told me you gave him the wrong boxes?

I did not give him the wrong boxes.

Technically, he picked up the wrong box.

I didn't give him no box.

Curtis!

Baby, I was handling all of this!

I think someone owes someone an apology.

I do, too.

Ella, you stole a van from out in front of the church?

You know what?

You should be ashamed!

I'm not talking about her!

You owe her!

You don't get it, Curtis.

I'm going to go help CJ.

Yeah, because you sure ain't helping here.

You ain't helping nobody either!

You just can't even admit it.

You can not admit that what I do here is not easy.

I admit it, OK?

Your job is not easy.

And now, I know why those people depend on you.

The same reason I've depended on you for all these years.

And you have never let me down.

Thank you, Curtis.

So does this mean you're going to stop making fun of my job?

No, it don't mean that.

I can't believe this!

Waste not, want not.

What happened?

Well, I missed my exam and now I've got to repeat the class.

My parents are going to kill me.

And you thought these would help?

Where'd you get these?

They fell out of your bag.

I found them when I was closing up.

Now, you've got to be careful.

You know, those things can be dangerous.

I only took a few.

The box is empty.

You missed your exam.

This isn't the solution, now.

Then what is?

Time management.

Come on, sit down.

What are you talking about?

Malik, there is a time to work, a time to play,

and a time to study.

It doesn't seem like you're spending

a lot of time studying.

You've got to prioritize, man.

I mean, look, your parents sent you

here to get a higher education.

Yeah, and that's what I want!

Then you have to buckle down, get serious, and focus

on what's important, OK?

I know taking these pills were really stupid.

Good.

Promise not to do it again.

Well, good.

Because I know a guy that dropped out of college

and ended up in a dead end job that he hated.

Are you talking about yourself, Mr. Davis?

No, no.

No.

[phone ringing]

Help center!

Yes, we delivered meals to that nursing home today.

You didn't like it?

And?

Oh, you need to watch your tone, old lady!

I'm sorry.

Yes, I understand, ma'am.

We are here to serve, ma'am.

And what would you like for us to do about your lunch

tomorrow?

What?

Now how about you--

Curtis!

Have a nice day.

OK.

[music playing]