Original subtitles

Can't never have enough of that.

[chuckling] Detergent.

Wow, check this out, baby. Look at this.

You ain't going to believe this.

Believe what, Curtis?

Were you praying or something?

This is the best news I've learned all week.

ELLA: Curtis.

Look.

Just read that right there.

Atlanta strip club lowers lap dance prices.

Mm.

Not that. ELLA: Curtis.

Come on.

What club they talking about?

Curtis, what is it that you want me to see?

Oh. Quit playing, baby.

Read that.

Read that right there.

Neighborhood--

CURTIS: Really loud!

Neighborhood watch president honored by mayor!

Huh!

Huh.

You see what I'm talking about?

No.

No, I don't.

Baby, read the whole thing.

ELLA: Curtis.

Not only was the president of the neighborhood

watch honored by the mayor--

ELLA: Uh-huh.

--the community banded together

and got him and his family free dinners in local restaurants.

Now, that's nice.

Huh?

And paid the utilities and got him a new car.

Oh.

Now that's nice, baby.

Can you imagine free dinners, all these good restaurants?

Hello, I was talking about the new-car park.

Man, I hope they don't make us choose.

Let's choose. Curtis!

Uh-uh.

Curtis Payne-- uh-uh, baby, wait.

Wait.

What do you have up your sleeve?

Shades of brilliance, baby.

Shades of brilliance.

I am our neighborhood watch President.

I know.

And I will clean up our hood.

And the mayor's going come and honor me.

And he's going to call me "The Cleaner."

ELLA: OK.

"Cleaner"--

Our neighborhood is going to hell in a hand basket,

and I'mma do something about it.

You know what?

You know what?

They're going to call me the "he that cleaneth."

Baby, how are you going to be a part

of lowering crime in our neighborhood

when you are part of the problem?

How am I part of the problem?

Curtis, this is our paper right here?

So whose paper do you have?

Oh.

CJ and Janine.

Did they say you could have it?

They didn't say I couldn't.

Did you ask them?

- Yup. - Curtis--

I called them.

Did they answer the phone?

No, I left a message, with Hayden and Jayden.

Hayden and Jayden don't talk.

Pst.

That's not my problem.

And why you asking me all these questions, baby?

I mean, whose side are you on anyway?

Curtis, I am on the side of right.

Well, good.

Thank you.

I was beginning to get worried.

Good morning, Aunt Ella.

Good morning, baby.

Can I have my paper, please?

Baby-- hey, give him his paper.

Give him his paper.

Here.

I was protecting it for you.

What made you take my paper?

Well, he said that he called and left a message

with Hayden and Jayden.

Hayden and Jayden don't talk.

Look, OK.

Maybe I dreamed it, OK?

I shouldn't have had those hot wings before I went to bed.

There's your paper.

Hey, nephew.

Man, why don't you come on and be a part

of the new neighborhood watch?

Let me think about it.

OK.

No.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, you hater!

Hater!

[theme music]

OK.

See you later.

[phone ringing]

OPERATOR: University crisis hotline.

[phone ringing]

Guess who.

Drake.

Uh, no-- cuter.

Mm, Idris Elba.

Younger and cuter.

Oh, then it must be Malik Payne.

Well, how did you know?

Oh, well, you're the cutest boyfriend I've got.

Better be the only boyfriend you got.

Hey, why don't we discuss your boyfriend's cuteness

over burgers and fries?

Mm, I'd love to, but I told you

I'm volunteering for the student crisis hotline this week.

What? All week?

Yup.

If it makes you feel better, I'm going to miss you.

No, that actually doesn't make me feel better.

I didn't even know this place existed.

Yeah, the school's been doing it for 10 years now.

This year might be its last--

budget cuts.

You know, they can pay for a football

team but not a crisis center.

Well, the way our football team plays,

they should call the crisis center.

[laughing] You're funny.

That's why I love you.

Well, is that the only reason?

No, you're also handsome, and nice, and smart.

And did I mention handsome?

Yeah, you sure did.

That and considerate-- oh, way too

considerate to let his girlfriend

work here all night by herself.

Actually, I'm not that considerate.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Please, Malik.

Karen was supposed to answer phones with me,

but she had an AHA meeting.

What is AHA?

Animal Hoarders Anonymous.

She has eight cats.

Well, that-- that doesn't seem that bad.

In each room.

Oh, well.

I guess I have to stay here all night,

all by myself, unless you volunteer?

You know, actually, I have something to do.

- What? - Leave.

Ooh, come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on. It'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

You'll do great.

You just talk to students, answer questions

about classes, relationships.

We get to be alone.

Well, when you put it like that, I'm in.

Mm, thanks, Malik.

Mwah.

So um, when exactly do we get to be alone?

Ha.

Never-- the cameras.

Is it too late to reconsider?

Yeah.

The desk is over here.

Come on.

[theme music]

OK, Janine, you really don't think

those shoes were too expensive?

No, if I did, I wouldn't have bought them.

BOTH: [laughing]

That-- that was really convincing.

Thank you.

I just hope CJ buys it.

What is he doing?

Curtis!

What is this man doing?

Curtis!

Is he trying to cook us?

Who is it? ELLA: You know--

JANINE: Janine. ELLA: --you.

It's me.

You can see us out here.

Curtis!

No, I can't.

I can't see you, because of the glare.

- Curtis-- - Glare.

I can't see.

Uncle Curtis--

Ooh.

- Whose that behind CJ? - CJ?

CJ?

CURTIS: [chuckling]

That is not funny.

Are you really--

Curtis, come on, baby.

Come on in here. Come on.

Entrer. - Curtis.

Entrer.

What is going on with that light out there?

Oh, that's so nobody can sneak up on us.

And what are you wearing, baby?

It's a safety vest.

Please, so people can see me at night,

and it cuts down on the hit-and-runs.

I got one for you too, baby.

[inaudible] what you got here.

- Curtis-- - Wait.

What are you doing? - That's by bag.

Huh? I'm just checking, baby.

ELLA: Curtis - What?

That's it.

I was checking to make sure nobody put

any illegal substances in there.

You're acting like you been on some illegal--

[grunt]

OK, I stopped myself. I'm sorry.

Oh, no. It's too late.

You didn't.

I could roll for a month off of that one.

Let's just say, it's better to be safe than sorry.

JANINE: Uh-huh.

No, let's just say you're not going to be safe from nothing

if you dump my shoes out of here.

Baby, this is my new approach to safetyness.

JANINE: To-- - OK?

JANINE: To--

Please.

Hush.

Everybody gets a vest and a whistle.

Is that just in case, like, you get attacked or something?

No, it's for a second job.

You know, I got a job as a ref.

Oh.

Of course it's in case of getting attacked!

Which is very unlikely in this hood with me patrolling!

How do you propose to patrol this whole neighborhood?

You're just one man.

I'm not just one man, baby.

You're not just one man?

Hello.

Yeah.

Uh, president needs back up.

He got somebody else.

CURTIS: We need backup.

Ms. Ella--

Robin, what's your 20?

This is Batman.

Robin, what's your 20?

Will you stop saying that?

Uh, Tonto.

Come in, Tonto.

It's the law man.

Cato--

Give me this.

CJ, how-- how exactly did you let Uncle

Curtis rope you into this?

It's simple.

He's a patriot.

He believes in serving his community.

I owe him some money, and he said

he would wipe the slate clean if I helped him out today.

If you want to take a bite out of crime.

[grunt]

Hey, baby, don't you think you're taking this a little bit

overboard?

No.

The mayor's going to honor me, OK?

The Metropolis got Superman.

Gotham has Batman.

And ATL has Payneman.

What happened to "The Cleaner."

It just don't have no pop.

Ain't got no pop.

Need some pop.

You snap.

JANINE: Right. - Come on, y'all.

Come on.

What you think people should call me?

A nut.

A psychiatrist.

How about a cab so can go?

A cab, 'cause I go.

That's wack.

Look, it's simple.

If you don't need the class, then drop it.

It's your education.

Your parents can't argue with that.

Oh, well, they're paying for your tuition?

Then you might want to keep that class then, bro.

Look, I'm sure he was really into you at some point

in the relationship.

When you think about it, it's really his loss, not yours.

OK.

Bye.

Hey, who was that?

I think it was Sherry McCovey.

Ooh, have you seen her?

It's definitely not his loss.

How are you holding up?

Um, it's all right.

It's a little boring, but I'm sure you could change that.

Mm, hold that thought.

I need to go to the ladies' room.

I'll be right back.

All right.

Well, I guess I'll just be sitting here, bored.

[phone ringing]

Crisis help line.

This is Malik.

WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Hi, Malik.

Hello, do you have a name?

WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Terry.

Terry, do you have a last name?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: It's not important.

Yeah, and why isn't it important?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: Pretty soon it's

not going to matter anyway.

And why isn't it going to matter?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: Because I'm going to kill myself.

Wait, you're going to kill yourself?

Well-- wait, who is this?

Is this Stacy?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: It's not Stacy.

It's Terry.

OK, look, I will bite.

Why do you want to kill yourself, Tracy?

Uh-- uh, I'm sorry.

Uh, it was Terry, right?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: Because I want it to stop!

Uh, what-- what-- what do you want to stop?

TERRY [ON PHONE]: Everything.

I want it all to stop.

Uh-- wait a minute.

The camera-- Summer, is this you?

Oh, this must be part of your little initiation, huh?

OK.

I got it.

TERRY [ON PHONE]: What are you talking about?

Why do you think I'm playing?

Are you playing, Malik?

If so, it's cool.

It-- it must be nice to play.

No, no, no.

I'm not playing-- everybody has to play sometime.

TERRY [ON PHONE]: Not everybody.

I haven't played since my mom took off.

Look, I think you should take over.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Is somebody else there?

Uh, yes, uh, somebody that is better suited to talk to you.

Uh, hi, Terry.

Is it Terry?

Um, hi, I'm Summer.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I don't want to talk to you, Summer.

I was talking to Malik.

If he doesn't want to talk to me--

No!

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: --I understand.

I can't just end it now. - No, no, no, no.

Wait. Wait.

Look.

I do want to talk to you.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Then why'd you put

that other girl on the phone?

Because this is my first time doing this,

and I don't want to mess it up.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: OK You can't mess the days up anymore

then they already are.

Oh, well, believe me.

I am the king of mess ups.

Just ask my parents.

For a long time I thought my name was,

you better come and get him, because every time

I did something, one of them would say,

you better come and get him.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: You're funny.

Oh, well, if--

if you think that's funny, then this is going to kill you.

So I was out with this one, uh-- oh-- oh-- wait-- um-- no--

no, don't-- don't kill yourself.

Look, I told you I didn't to do this.

[inaudible] Don't die.

Don't die.

Don't die.

Uh, you're still there?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Yup.

Uh--

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Are you nervous?

Yes. Yes.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: What do you--

I'm definitely nervous.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: --have to be nervous about?

I'm the one about to kill myself.

Well, look, that's not what we want you to do at all.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: You don't even know me.

Look, uh, yes, I know I don't know you, but you sound sweet.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Now you're trying to play me.

This conversation's over.

Goodbye, Malik. - Wait.

Wait. No.

No.

Don't hang up!

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: OK.

But next time you try to play me, I'm hanging up.

Can't believe it.

Curtis Payne is actually cleaning up.

Really, don't.

Curtis, put that down.

Don't do that, baby.

Eh, it's official.

Hell has frozen over.

I bet you won't be saying that after the mayor honors me

and it gives me a new car.

Yes, I will.

I'll just be saying it from the passenger side of that new car.

OK, so how do you know he's really coming?

The office heard about the great job

I was doing in the community, and they said that the mayor

wanted to meet "The Cleaner."

Don't sit there!

I'm trying to keep it clean.

I'm trying to keep everything straight, OK?

They can't think I know how to clean up crime on the outside

and can't handle grime on the inside.

You know what?

I have to say that--

I know what you're going to say.

It's a little safer around here now, isn't it?

It actually is a little safer, baby,

except for all of the people who now want to kill you.

I don't care if you don't like me.

Every good law man has enemies.

Oh, well, you're a good law man.

Thank you.

JANINE: Oh, you're welcome.

CURTIS: Thank you.

OK, here's the limo.

It's got to be the mayor.

Ooh, I wish I had a cape.

OK, everybody act natural.

ELLA: [chuckling]

CJ, get the door.

Hurry up.

I can't hold this too long.

This means I will be the first one on camera.

Oh, wait a minute.

Good point.

Watch out.

Stand over there.

I'll get the door.

Always trying to steal somebody's thunder.

OK, everybody just keep cool.

I hope they get my good side.

[inaudible] 'cause I don't have any bad side.

All my sides are good.

Uh!

Yeah!

Hello, Mayor!

Come on.

Yes, we're waiting.

[grunting]

Hey!

[beeping]

Get away from him!

What are you doing?

Stop that car!

[whistle]

Come on!

CJ: What happened, Unc?

The mayor just got jacked!

Well, Curtis, what did they take?

They've taken the limo, and his watch and all his jewelry.

Hey, I'm going to call 911.

We don't need 911.

We got "The Cleaner."

Get your hands off of me.

Darn it, CJ!

Ella, you better get him.

CJ, leave "The Cleaner" alone.

He can't help it if he missed a spot.

Come on, Terry.

Everybody has a favorite color.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Ugh, um,

you promise you won't laugh?

Yeah, what's there to laugh about?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: OK.

I like plaid.

Plaid?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: [chuckling] You're laughing.

Yeah, I'm not laughing at you.

I just didn't expect for you to say plaid.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I guess I like all colors.

I don't want to choose.

See?

You do like something.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I guess.

But people think it's crazy.

I just called the crisis center administrator.

She'll be here soon. - OK, good.

Look, you can talk to her. - Wait.

Oh no, no, no. You're doing fine.

You're doing so fine.

But I'm not qualified for this.

Why don't you talk to her?

No, she only wants to talk to you.

It'll be OK.

All right, Terry.

Can I ask you another question?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Do I have answer it?

I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

Um, why do you want to end it all?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Because my life sucks.

My parents are getting divorced.

We're have to move again.

And at school it just gets worse.

Nobody notices me except those creeps

who always call me Scary Terry.

I thought I'd put all that behind me

when I left high school.

Wait-- wait.

I mean, you did.

You-- you left behind.

Those guys that are picking on you didn't.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: They made my life hell,

and I'm sick of it.

Well, so you're going to hurt yourself?

Look, if we lose you, then those guys are just going to find

somebody else to pick on.

And believe me.

I know.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: You don't know, Malik.

You always act confident.

I used to see you in the halls.

Wait.

So you know me?

Hold up.

Terry-- Scary Terry.

Are you Terry from Mrs. Grier's English class?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: You remember me?

Well, of course I remember you.

You were the sweetest girl in class.

Plus you always smell like cinnamon and apples.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: My mom bought me that before she left.

So uh, I'm guessing you feel abandoned,

like no one cares about you.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: How would you know about that?

Well, my mom left for a little while.

I-- I used to run to the door every morning, waiting for her

to come through that door.

And I was wondering, you know, what did I do wrong?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Did she ever come?

She eventually came back, but in pretty bad shape.

I don't know what was worse-- having a mom that was on drugs

or not having a mom there at all.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I'd say not having a mom there at all.

You definitely haven't tasted my dad's cooking.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: [chuckling] You're crazy.

Look, all I'm saying is that we all go through it sometimes.

You know?

And it can get hard.

We just need somebody to talk to.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I see what your trying to do.

Well, good.

Is it working?

Because you know, I go through some bad times too,

and I would love it if you were there to help me out.

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: I'll be there to help.

Well, good.

Uh, can I see you around campus sometime?

TERRY [ON SPEAKERPHONE]: Yeah.

I'll see you around.

All right.

Good.

Hi, I'm Doc Shaw.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health,

young adult teen suicide is the third leading cause of death

amongst people in America.

Depression, identity crisis, loss of a loved one,

and bullying are key factors that contribute

to this alarming statistic.

If you are or know anyone at risk,

please call 1-800-suicide.

Trained professionals are there to help you.

Please don't hesitate to call.

A valuable life depends on it.