Original subtitles

Man, I cannot believe that these dorms are coed.

Our son is 18.

He is barely ready to be living away from home.

Yeah, throwing a girl into the mix is like throwing

water on a grease fire.

Yeah, I mean, Malik is mature, OK, but he is still a boy.

Hey, Mom, Hey, Dad.

Hey, boy.

Oh, my baby!

Hi!

Hi, we just wanted to check and see how you're doing!

What's up, Dad?

Hey, man.

You know, just making sure you're OK.

You're OK?

If you're not OK, you know you can always hop in your car

and come straight home, OK?

If you need gas, I will give you some money.

If you're tired, I will come get you any time.

Any time you wanna come home.

Janine, let the boy go.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Yeah, everything is fine.

Jennifer hasn't been around because she's

been with her parents, but she's gonna join us for lunch.

Great.

There you are.

Hi, Mom.

Then there's that.

OK.

Hi, Dad.

Hi.

It's so nice to see you.

Last time you were here, we barely got a chance to talk.

You ran out of the room so fast.

Did we?

You didn't notice.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

I barely know anybody else here.

Yeah, me either.

Please join us.

OK.

Sorry.

Thank you.

So you and him are together.

You know, when Malik said his roommate's nickname was J--

Yeah, you-- you wasn't exactly the Jay we had in mind,

you know?

Right.

It think it's great.

That's why I wanted to come here.

It's so progressive.

Just like my headache.

Yeah, so listen, Malik, um, since you're OK,

we're just gonna go on over here and talk to your RA.

- OK. - All right?

Do you have your phone? MALIK: Yeah.

Bye Mom.

Bye, Dad.

You call your mom and dad if you need anything.

There's no such thing as calling too much, day or night

we are sitting by phone, waiting for you.

Bye.

Hey, boy.

My sweet, crazy mom.

Did you call me, baby?

You need something?

What is it?

What did you do?

He called my name.

He did not call you.

[theme music]

Malik, since we're roommates, I think we

should get to know each other.

OK.

So did you see the new Lady Gaga video?

No.

Uh, do you like video games?

No.

I was thinking about putting some art up in the room.

Do you like still life?

No, I like moving pictures.

You like football?

Curling?

Romance novels?

Oh no.

Let me ask you something.

OK.

Why do girls have so many shoes?

Because we like them.

But guys really don't care about shoes.

We don't do things just for guys.

Really?

Because guys do everything for girls.

If it wasn't for girls, we'd still live in our parents'

basement and watch cartoons.

Well, I'll see you later.

OK.

Don't do that.

Don't do what?

Treat me like a girl.

Well, how am I supposed to treat you?

Like a regular person, a friend, a roommate.

But you are a girl.

No, I'm not.

OK, now I'm confused and tad bit freaked out.

No, I am a girl, just not a girl girl.

I'm a roommate girl.

So you need to treat me like a roommate

that just happens to be a girl.

Oh.

OK.

I cannot believe that the school

will not change his room.

I am not comfortable, CJ.

I don't like this.

He's too young for this.

So what do you wanna do?

Just bring him back home, withdraw him from college?

Yes.

Come on, babe.

You know that's not what he wants.

What about what I want?

My son, my baby, back at home where he belongs,

with his mother.

I know it's hard to let go, but as much

as we don't like this, there's nothing we can do.

Where is Malik, anyway?

I thought you told him to meet us here.

Probably with J.

Mom, Dad, this place is amazing.

I get to eat anything I want to.

Plus, there's no parents!

Sorry, no offense.

Also, Jennifer has made some new friends who are girls.

Why are you smiling?

That's my boy right there.

Hey, don't take it personal.

That's how I got you.

Hey, baby, did you order garlic pizza with extra garlic

and garlic on the side with garlic bread and garlic soda?

No.

What are you talking about?

Do you smell that?

Curtis, what is that, and where is it coming from, baby?

Smells like garlic.

It is not me.

Yeah, you smell like ice cream.

My goodness, Claretha, did you bathe in garlic?

You can smell that?

I could smell it a block away.

I think she smells lovely.

I read on the internet that garlic helps fight cancer,

so I've been eating it like apples.

Yeah, well, I read on the internet

that garlic kills vampires, so why are you still here, Buffy?

Because Buffy wasn't a vampire.

She was a slayer.

Oh damn.

Oh damn.

OK, I need to get some air.

Yeah, I need to get some plastic wrap.

Goodness gracious.

Don't come close.

Claretha, honey, I know leukemia is hard, but um,

are you sure this is good for you?

Ella, Every other day I go into the hospital and get

pumped with radioactive chemicals.

How can garlic be bad?

Well, I-- I--

I guess it can't hurt.

Whatever gets you through this, baby.

I have never been more committed to living.

Good.

I realize every day that I wake up that I

wanna do it again tomorrow.

Yes.

That's why I'm game for everything.

Got it.

Hold on, what are you doing?

Ella, Floyd is pilfering the plastic wrap.

I am not.

This is for Claretha.

Come on, baby.

What the hell kind of kinkiness is going on in here?

Look, not in my house, not on my couch.

It's to deflect free radicals, all right?

Plus, it makes her skin hella soft, don't it, baby?

Ella.

Relax.

[coughing]

Just relax.

It's not that bad.

I can't relax.

OK?

I'm looking at Claretha's leg.

And what the hell is he doing?

I smell it from the inside out.

And he's wrapping her like a burrito.

Is this crazy?

Am I the only one to see this?

You don't see this? -

Curtis, I cannot argue with you.

I see it, and I smell it!

But baby, we have to be supportive, OK?

Supportive?

She won't fit in the microwave, Ella.

Percent icnrease.

That is lovely.

OK.

Malik's at college.

Don't remind me.

Twins asleep.

You OK?

OK, CJ, what are you doing?

I'm-- I'm--

Jazmine is spending the night at a friend's house.

OK.

Calvin and Miranda are gone for the day.

CJ, why are you telling me stuff I already know.

'Cause we got approximately 2.5 hours

to get our adult swerve on.

Is that right?

That's right.

I'll go get the magazines.

You get the paint samples.

Magazines and paint samples?

Wait a minute!

What are you talking about?

Aren' we going to go redo the garage?

No, man!

I'm trying to go upstairs to the bedroom.

Oh, you're finally gonna put up those shelves.

Thank you, baby!

- Hey, hey! - What?

I'm not putting up nothing.

I'm trying to put something down!

The tile in the bathroom.

Why didn't I think of that?

Hey!

I'm just kidding.

Come upstairs, big daddy.

That's what I'm talking about.

Come upstairs.

I'm home!

Hey, son.

Malik!

Oh, my baby!

Are you OK? Have you been eating?

You look small. Oh, you look frail.

Come here.

Sit down.

You look tired. Have you been sleeping?

Let me see your tongue.

Yeah, you're tired.

Sit down. Do you need me?

I need you.

Do you nee me?

To go upstairs.

Mom, it's only been two weeks.

Two weeks too long.

Uh, Dad, help.

Son.

CJ, no, don't you do that.

I'm helping.

No, you're not.

CJ.

OK.

So how's school?

Uh, fine.

But I'm moving back home.

You're moving back home?

My baby's coming back home!

What?

Yeah, me and Jennifer just couldn't live together.

I knew it.

Yeah, I mean, we were complete opposites.

She's a morning person.

I'm a night person.

She's likes alternative rock.

I like R&B and rap.

She likes a clean room.

I'm a guy.

Thank the Lord that is over, because you

are coming home tonight.

Janine.

Son, you can't just run home every time things get tough.

Look, I've tried.

I don't know what else to do.

Keep trying.

Look, I know it's a bad situation.

We'll get you moved next semester.

But you can't move home, especially not tonight.

CJ.

CJ: Understand?

CJ. [doorbell rings]

Stop it.

Who could that be?

I'm not expecting anybody.

Stop it.

Jennifer.

Hi, Mr. Payne.

Hi, Malik.

Hey, Jennifer.

Hi, Mrs. Payne.

Well, we're not "Mom" and "Dad" anymore, huh?

So you must be Jennifer's parents.

Yes, I'm Steven Rogers.

And you must be the Paynes.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is my beautiful wife, Janine.

Come on in.

Hi.

Hi, Estelle.

Nice to meet you.

What a lovely home.

Thank you, thank you.

So what brings you guys by?

I got the note that you were leaving.

Yeah, I just can't take it anymore.

I mean, I have to hang up all my towels I

have to wash my socks, and you make

me pose for your still lifes.

I just don't understand.

I'm sorry.

I know I can be a little bit difficult sometimes.

Why don't you guys go and try to work this thing out

while we get acquainted with Jennifer's parents?

OK, come on, Jennifer.

OK.

Oh, watch your feet.

Right to the-- keep that door open.

Yeah, I just think this--

I just don't think don't think [inaudible]..

should be living together.

No, it's just-- it's--

it's not good.

They're just so different.

Different.

Completely different worlds.

Light years apart, you know?

Yeah, I mean, it just-- really just can't happen.

You know, how can they share a room?

What happens at night?

I mean, really.

Call me old fashioned, but I just do not approve.

Not at all.

Yeah.

You know, maybe if we go and we talk to the college

and everything, you know, we let them

know how we feel about our concerns,

and we'll work something out. - Coffee?

You guys want any coffee?

No, thanks.

Tea?

I have tea.

We were concerned about the kids' sleeping schedules.

Jennifer has been a morning person

since the day she was born.

I know it can be difficult to deal with.

But we thought it would be a good life

lesson for them both to learn.

I can't believe the two of you.

I can't believe that in this day and age

such small-minded people still exist.

Wait, wait, wait.

What-- what exactly are you talking about?

Oh, don't play dumb.

You're a racist.

What?

Excuse me?

You don't want your son living with my daughter

because she's white. - What?

No! - Jennifer.

Jennifer, come on,let's go.

You should be grateful that your son didn't

adopt your racist thinking.

Listen, Miss--

There is nothing wrong with a young white woman and a young

black man living together.

We didn't say--

Jennifer, I said, get down here now.

What? What's up?

Yeah, what's going on?

Let's go.

I don't wanna be here one more moment.

What's wrong?

These people are racist, and I'm not gonna stand for it.

We just all need to calm down. Listen to me.

Let's go. Let's go.

- We are not racist. - Let's go.

Mr. Rogers, please, would you just listen to me?

I've had enough.

Claretha, what are you making?

What's that?

It's our arsenicum album.

It's a diluted form of arsenic.

Now, you've come up with some crazy things, baby,

but this is the worst.

Arsenic is deadly, baby.

Ella, what difference does it make?

I'm dying already.

You just keep coming up with these bad decisions

and justifying it all by saying "what does it matter?

I'm dying anyway."

You're my best friend, and I love you.

I love you.

But you can't understand this.

If somebody told me to jump in a lake full of hungry alligators

because it would cure my cancer, I would.

Oh, please.

That doesn't even make sense.

Neither does walking around every day,

feeling the effects of chemo!

I can barely keep food down.

It's killing me too!

Claretha, honey, at least we have

medical proof that chemo works.

Ella, listen, honey.

Every day I wake up, I'm not in control of my life.

A doctor is telling me what to eat, when to sleep,

how much I can and cannot do.

It's like I'm a bystander.

This-- at least this gives me some sense of control,

even if one of the Tudor remedies are a fake.

Hello, everyone.

Yup, thanks for coming.

We wanted to talk to everyoone.

Yup, Jennifer and I have decided

that we're gonna try to make this living situation work.

And we're going to clear the air.

We're not the racist ones.

That was a misunderstanding.

We didn't misunderstand anything.

I think you did.

Mr. Rogers, I can promise you that my parents are not racist.

So you don't have a problem with them living together?

Yeah, we do definitely have a problem with it.

But it has nothing to do with the color of her skin.

It has everything to do with the fact that she is a girl.

And he's a young man.

It just doesn't go together.

Men and women can live together platonically.

See, there is a reason men and women do not live together

until they get married.

You know as well as I do, men are naturally disgusting.

No, hey!

If she that out now, she would never get married.

That's not true!

Really?

You don't remember complaining about living at the fire house?

Yeah, it's a little true.

Some of them are disgusting.

A lot of 'em.

Look, Mom and Dad, I know how much you

care, but you have to trust me.

And besides, Jennifer has a boyfriend.

Malik!

She does?

Is it that Eric?

His name is Shaka.

Shaka?

Shaka?

I'll kill him.

Let's stay on topic.

Yeah, let's stay on topic.

How long have you known Shaka?

Yeah, how long have you known Shaka?

Excuse me.

We just wanted to make sure we apologize

for any misunderstanding of what my husband

and I were trying to say.

Water under the bridge.

Thank you.

And we have other fish to fry.

Yeah, fry fish.

So-- so who is this boyfriend?

Well, What do you want me to live with him?

Shaka?

Shaka probably about 6'4, ain't he?

Baby, are you sure you can handle this?

Yeah, I think so.

Besides, there's no-- no sexual tension between us.

Son.

Son, see, there's always sexual tension between women and men.

It's just the way we were created.

Dad, I know that I'm a man, and I can control

myself and my reactions.

You taught me how to be strong and responsible.

I listened.

OK, but before you were telling us you

were ready to move back home.

Ah, that may have been a little bit of an overreaction.

I mean, me and Jennifer can get along.

It's not because she's a girl or because she's white.

It's just we don't have anything in common.

Are you sure you're ready for this?

Yeah.

I don't know.

Please, just trust me.

OK.

OK.

Besides, the only thing that I'm worried about

is being an engineer.

Well, we're just proud of you because you're our son.

I can't-- I can't breathe.

Tap out, son.

You know your mama's strong.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Of course I like art, baby.

What you know about still life?

What happened?

I used one of your hair products.

Hair products?

What?

The stuff in the green jar.

Oh, yeah.

That-- that probably wasn't a good idea,

because that's my wave grease.

So as I was saying about the art.