Original subtitles

Yes, Felicia's coming to see me.

[doorbell]

Oh, Felicia?

Yes, yes.

Ah.

Hello, hello, hello.

[camera shutters]

Oh, hell, it's just you.

Oh, please Floyd.

What are you doing here and why are you dressed like that?

I'm here to get some dirt on your funky fresh friend,

Felicia.

And why would you want to do that?

Revenge Ella.

Yeah, Felicia broke my heart when

she dumped me for that mime.

Floyd, you haven't even met Felicia.

In my heart I have.

We had everything Ella.

We had a house, kids, bunny rabbits.

Mm-hmm. Buh-bye.

Buh-bye. - What?

Hop right on out.

- Why? - Bye.

OK, look here, I'll leave as soon

as I install these hidden cameras I want to put in here.

No Floyd. Out the door.

Buh-bye. Thank you.

Ugh, Ella. Oh.

[camera shutters]

Oh hell, it's y'all.

[door opens]

And why are you three here?

Oh, we just came by to see how you were doing.

OK, OK, we came to meet Felicia Starr.

So where is she?

She's running late.

Oh Miss Ella, we are so excited.

I cannot wait to meet her.

Why didn't you ever tell us that you

were friends with Felicia star?

It's not something I'd like to broadcast ever.

Besides when people find out you are

friends with someone who's famous,

the first thing they ask is--

Oh my goodness, can she put Christian in a movie?

That.

I'm telling you, he's a great little actor all ready.

Aren't you, bubba?

He sure is.

Watch this.

Hey, watch?

OK, look happy.

[baby coos]

Cheese.

What's that?

Now, look like you got a boo-boo.

Awe.

See?

See?

He's like a little Denzel.

Who, the baby or Miranda?

The baby.

Felicia is not coming here to discover any body.

She's just coming to hang out with our family.

So I want you two to just act normal.

[IN UNISON] Yes ma'am.

Thank you.

[IN A FANCY ACCENT] Breakfast is served.

Curtis?

Mm, smell the menthol.

Sushi and cigarettes?

What kind of breakfast is that?

It's very breakfast.

That is not for you.

You don't know nothing about this, OK?

This is for Felicia.

Curtis?

Baby, this is so nice of you.

I know--

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Felicia does not need all of this.

She don't need-- you know, what?

You right.

She should need some champagne and some caviar.

And I got some right here--

- Curtis? - What?

Stop. You guys stop.

Now, listen, I know it's not every day that somebody

famous comes to visit us.

So you know, I just want you to treat Felicia like she's

just another one of my friends.

Yeah, just a friend who happened

to have an Oscar and a Tony.

And a Hoodie award.

She got a Hoodie award?

Yes.

She is not just your friend.

She is a movie star Miss Ella.

I know this.

Then you should know she expects

to be treated like one, baby.

Come on.

No.

Look, we should roll out every inch of the red carpet for her.

That's what I say.

Listen-- listen to me.

Felicia is not like that.

She is so down to Earth, really.

Fame changes people, Mama. [doorbell]

Mm-hmmm.

It changes Your attitude, your hair, and your lips.

Listen, trust me, Felicia has not changed a bit.

Hello, Ella.

Darling.

[clapping]

Bravo.

Bravo.

Your life sounds so perfect.

That's because it is sweetheart.

Never a dull moment.

[cackling]

You know something Ella, I just love this house of yours.

I'm telling you, it is just so quaint.

That was the same thing that I said

the first time that I was--

[grunting]

Felicia, we are actually moving into a bigger

custom built house.

Oh, well darling that's wonderful, because the way you

cook, you're going to need a bigger kitchen.

Yeah, my mama could throw down.

You know something?

I should have hired you to cook for me instead of my chef.

Ugh, he's just so expensive.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold the hell up.

Curtis?

You got a little beside yourself, ain't you?

God know that's right.

I mean, baby come on-- you can't pay

my wife to cook for you.

Hell, she'll do it for free.

Aw.

So how often do you all do this?

Eat?

Every day.

Sometimes three times a day.

No, I mean, you know, sit around and talk.

Every day, Sometimes three times a day.

Really?

You all just seem so happy.

That's because we are happy.

I have been happy since the first day that I met Calvin.

Aw.

Well, I've been happy with Curtis ever since--

Baby?

Just ever since.

Ever since what?

You saying it with half energy.

I'm just playing.

Oh look, an antique.

You know, I remember the one time I stayed home cooking

and talking to my husband.

We ended up filing for divorce.

Oh.

Awe, Darryl.

Awe Darryl, nothing.

He's my ex.

I'm on my third husband now, Joffrey.

Hey.

Aw, hey.

Hey, what's up cuz?

What's up man?

Reverend, how you doing?

This is William.

My bad.

He will be-- you know just being the supervisor,

he'll be handling your visits with Calvin Jr.

OK.

Mr. Payne, I want you to pretend as if you

can that I'm not even here.

I want this visit to be as comfortable

and as pleasant as possible.

Thanks.

I appreciate that.

Yeah, you like the ball, huh?

Uh-oh, I got it.

And we want to capture every moment.

Say cheese, Calvin.

I'm sorry, photos are not allowed.

What?

You have got to be kidding me.

Put the hood away.

Put the hood away.

Photos are not allowed without the consent

of the custodial parent.

I can't take pictures of my own son?

Let me check on that.

Hold on a sec.

Don't nobody trip.

Don't nobody trip.

Well, yeah, according to the paperwork I have here,

without permission of the custodial parent,

you guys can't take pictures.

Sorry.

That's what's up.

It's OK little man, we'll have plenty of time

to take pictures.

You like that, huh?

Do you want to go see Christian upstairs?

Yes.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.

Come on, let's go see Christian.

What is the problem?

The rules state that I'm to see any contact between you

and the child at all times.

This is insane.

I'm sorry, the rules are the rules.

OK, you know what, don't worry about it.

Christian's asleep anyway.

You want to play a game little man?

Come on, let's play telephone.

Come on, let's play with the toys.

Oh, I love this game.

I used to play this game.

OK, I'm going to tell you a secret.

You have to tell daddy, OK?

I'm sorry, whispering is not allowed.

You have got to be kidding me.

The rules state that I'm to hear everything at all times.

Come on little man.

Good choice of toys little man.

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

I missed you little man.

You know, what? Guess what?

Guess what?

Mommy Miranda missed you, too.

Mm-hmm.

We both missed you and we love you very much.

Aw, that's so precious.

The daddy my mom introduced me to told me the same thing.

Let's go. Let's go.

D him up.

D him up.

Get it. What's wrong with you.

Block him.

You gotta play some defense.

Get that ball.

Take it from him.

I'm afraid that's all the time we have for today.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, we were supposed to have at least three hours.

The custodial parent only approved one hour visits.

One hour?

I'm very sad.

Time to go big guy.

Hey, little man.

Daddy just want--

Come on.

Let's go.

We're going to go bye-bye.

Really?

Awe, bye honey.

We'll see you in two weeks.

Mom go too?

Two weeks.

That's right.

Can you give me a minute, please?

Thank you.

Hey, junior I love you, OK?

And don't you forget that, all right?

OK.

All right.

All right, got to go.

Love you baby.

What you got?

What you got?

Bill Cosby.

Oh OK, it been awhile.

Been awhile.

Let me see.

You change the pudding and you place the pudding in the bowl.

You see?

And then you put the bowl in the refrigerator, you see?

Oh.

That's good.

OK, here's a hard one--

What you got?

Al Pacino.

Oh, please, say hello to my little friend.

Oh, Curtis, you are so funny.

Thank you.

I give God all praise.

My turn.

Guess what I found in the garage?

What did you find?

Oh Ella, that's us in the Madison middle school play.

Yes, it sure is.

Curtis, Ella here got the lead in the play

because the class president had a crush on her.

No.

Baby, everybody know you was a little huzzy in school.

No, Curtis, no.

I got the lead role because I was a better actress.

Oh Ella, come on now.

Between the two of us, we both know that I

was always a better actress--

than you.

You know, she is good though.

You gotta admit it.

Is that right?

And I have got the Oscar, the Tony--

And the Hoodie.

To prove it.

What have you got?

A gingerbread house and a goofy husband.

[cackling]

OK Felicia, you will not disrespect me

nor my goofy husband in our house.

Oh, come on, sweetheart.

It is not disrespect if it's the truth.

Oh-- Oh, you want to hear the truth.

Yes, I want to hear the truth.

You can't handle the truth.

Curtis.

Felicia?

Mm.

You could have been a great actress

had you spent more time on your lines and less time

on your back.

What?

You heard what I said-- on your back.

Oh, no you didn't.

Yes, I have--

I have never, ever slept with anybody for a role.

Oh please, honey.

You got an Oscar because the man's name

was Oscar that you slept with.

Oh, Ella, no you didn't.

Oh, please.

Yes, I know this.

I know this.

No you didn't.

You take the pudding.

You put the pudding--

Curtis, shut up.

What?

Look, you two are friends.

Act like it, OK?

Come on.

You know what, you're jealous.

That's right, you're jealous.

You're jealous because I made it.

And you are a nobody who could have been a somebody.

Ha-ha.

It's time for you to go.

Oh, so you putting me out.

Right now.

Right now.

Fine.

I will get my things.

[doorbell]

I bet she never kicked out of a gingerbread house.

Curtis.

[opens door]

[camera shutters]

Felicia, is it true you have six toes on one of your feet.

Get back.

Get the hell out.

I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm

looking for my wife Felicia.

Is she here by any chance?

Yes, she's here.

But she's getting ready to leave.

Oh, thank god.

OK, you must be Joffrey.

Is everything OK?

No, it isn't.

You must be Ella.

Felicia's been missing for the past three days.

OK, what do you mean by missing?

Missing. Gone.

Just-- [door opens]

[camera shutters] - Get back.

Back at you.

Back at you.

Whoa, those paparazzi are something else.

I mean, they about as bad as a groupie on a ballplayer.

Where my baby Felicia?

My baby, Felicia?

That's what I said.

Who are you?

Who are you?

This is her husband.

Oh, the mime.

That was the first.

My bad.

Ah--

[camera shutters]

Joffrey?

Indeed.

How did you find me?

You'll have to ask the paparazzi for their source?

Ella?

Please, I wouldn't do that.

Curtis?

No, I didn't do it.

I promise.

Then who was it?

Nice one.

[camera shutters]

Ugh.

Get on out.

OK, I know the drill.

You know it's me, fools.

Get back.

So this is where you've been hiding for the past three days.

No, she just got here this morning.

Where the hell you been?

Little quaint for your taste, don't you think?

If I hear the word quaint one more time, Curtis.

I'm not playing.

What you want Joffrey?

I want my money.

It's my money.

It's our money.

It was my money before I met you.

It'll be my money when you're gone.

The judge says it's our money.

My money.

50/50 community property.

It has not been 10 years yet.

Calm down.

Calm down.

Quit.

I have one question, where's the money now?

Curtis?

What?

Get out of there.

Excuse me.

OK, if I find the stash, it's mine.

Felicia, what is going on?

We are getting a divorce.

We have been separated for months.

And he even put me out of my own house.

Because you had an affair Felicia.

Because you pushed me away.

You stopped talking to me.

And we haven't had sex for over a year.

Felicia?

What Curtis?

Just go find the money, really.

Felicia, that's too much information.

Hmm.

Really.

And he even turned my own son against me.

Our son is in rehab because of you Felicia.

Jason is in rehab?

Felicia?

Yes.

So I guess this my life is perfect stuff was a lie.

It doesn't seem so perfect now, does it?

We've had a rough few years.

So I guess you coming here to catch up on old times

was a lie too?

I didn't have any place to go.

I just want a normal life.

Not this again.

Yes, that again.

You know, I don't have any privacy.

See, I can't do anything in private.

I go out of my house with no makeup on--

Page 6.

I can't even get my heart broken in private.

Felicia, come on, where are you going?

You asked me to leave and so I'm leaving.

Felicia, wait.

You want to know something Ella,

you don't know how good you have it.

[door opens]

Hey baby.

[door slams]

Felicia?

Felicia?

Felicia?

Felicia?

I'm afraid Mr. Payne misunderstood.

No, I understood you perfectly.

No, he understood you perfectly.

[doorbell]

I was just gonna call--

I was just calling you.

I was just going to say--

The social worker just said our supervised visitation

kkjkjj

Well, that's because you have.

Well, why did we lose our visits?

You haven't lost your visits.

What?

OK, I'm confused.

I need you to explain this to me.

OK, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

Your visits have not been suspended.

They just won't be supervised anymore.

Are you serious?

I'm serious.

OK, wait, how did you do it?

Well, according to the visitation report

William filed, he made you guys look like superstars.

So I presented this to Tracy and her lawyers,

and you know they used it as evidence to prove that you

guys are great parents.

So she had no choice but to reverse

all the games she be running.

Mr. Payne with me being a single parent,

I saw how you interact with Calvin Jr

and it just melted my heart.

Thank you, William.

You don't understand how much we appreciate this.

Don't thank me.

Thank your lawyer.

Will Tracy be able to reverse this whole agreement

that we have?

As long as you don't start any more fires little blow torch.

Check this out, I also got Tracy to agree to give you guys

unsupervised weekend visits.

Wait, the whole weekend?

Are you serious?

You know I never thought I would say this,

but you've done a really good job.

You're a wonderful lawyer.

I know I'm a wonderful lawyer.

You all gonna feed me now?

Learn from your mistakes.

Lean on those who love you.

Because in the end, they're all you've got.

Why does that sound so familiar?

Ugh, that's from our play that we did in Madison.

Ella, I got to thank you.

I got to thank you for being a true friend.

Aw, I love you. I love you.

I love you. - I love you girl.

Let's see if you remember this one.

Come on.

[SINGING] If you ever need me--

[SINGING] All you got to do is call me.

Yeah.

Yessa.

Oh, I love you.