Original subtitles

Oh, curtis, honey, I remember

When I told malik how to make

Pancakes right here on this

Stove.

Yes, I do remember that.

I nearly starved to death.

I can't believe it.

Malik is already going away to

College, curtis.

I remember when malik used to

Just run naked all around the

House.

Ee-oom! He'd just take off. B

Ee-oom, bee-oom!B

Forwards and backwards.

Bap, boop, bap!

[ laughs ]

Just all over the house.

[ laughs ]

Oh, my goodness, baby,

Actually, I liked it better when

You used to run naked through

The house.

[ laughs ]

You'd just take off --

Ee-oom! -- forwards and b

Backwards -- bee-oom!

Eep, beep, beep, beep!B

Eep, beep, beep, beep!B

What is "Beep, beep"?

What's that?

Don't you remember?

You used to warn me when you

Were backing up.

You'd back that up.

Curtis!

That is not funny.

That is not funny at all.

Baby, come on now! Come on!

You -- you talking about a

3-year-old trying to free willy,

Running around.

I'm eating breakfast.

Don't nobody want to hear that.

Oh, the college boy! Mwah!

There he is!

Baby, your -- your care

Package is almost ready.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Curtis, you know that's for

Malik.

What's in it?

No, no, no!

No peeking, no peeking, no

Peeking!

Curtis, stop!

Baby -- honey, don't peek.

I want you to be surprised when

You get to college, yes?

I put some things in it and your

Uncle, I think, put some things

In it.

[ laughs ]

Malik, I got your bible

Engraved.

Oh.

Let me go get it.

I'll go get it.

I forgot.

My goodness, now she's

Putting gravy on bibles.

She's gonna try to get you to

Read it.

That's the only way I read it.

[ laughs ]

Oh.

Got something for you.

Okay.

Got something for you,

College man!

All right.

Don't tell your auntie I gave

It to you.

Oh, wow. A-a whole dollar.

[ laughs ]

Give me my change back.

There's a lot you can do with

A quarter.

What?

What's the problem?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Auntie ella just said no

Peeking!

She wasn't talking to me.

She was talking to you.

Now, there's a difference

Between peeking and eating.

If you don't tell, I won't.

Okay.

Oh! These are all my favorite

Things!

Hello!

But wait a minute.

What -- what's this?

It's my letterman jacket!

This is your letterman

Jacket?

H-h-hold this.

Hold this to yourself.

What -- what -- what sport did

You play?

Little league? [ laughs ]

Little league?

What you talking about?

This thing is perfectly fine.

Try and put it on.

Boy, you take this jacket.

It ain't about what you play.

You take the jacket, you put it

On, and then the women let you

Ta-da-da-da when you put it on.

Need help.

I got it.

Malik!

I thought I told you no peeking!

Honey --

He don't listen!

You don't listen!

Curtis, what is that?

Don't you remember my

Letterman jacket?

I told you, I ain't gained that

Much weight since college.

Put it on.

Uh, no.

I don't want to put it on right

Now.

Give me the jacket.

Curtis.

I don't think you can take it

Off.

Honey...

Wait.

Get the oil.

Come on, malik. Help me.

Okay, please.

My arm fell asleep.

That's because it was taking

Your blood pressure.

And what is this?

Hey!

Curtis, what is all this

Stuff in this bag?

Roller skates, baby.

Come on.

I got the skates in case the

Campus is too big.

Curtis, these are from the

Roller rink next to the campus.

Did you steal these?

Got them from marjorie.

Why would marjorie give you

These skates, baby?

Because I told her I'd

Ta-da-da-da!

What -- what does that mean,

Uncle curtis?

Curtis!

[ sirens wailing ]

[ horn honking ]

[ tires screech ]

[ groans ]

Hey, mom, could you give me a

Few bucks?

I need some new nail polish.

I don't have any money,

Jazzy.

Oh, come on, mom!

I don't have any money,

Okay?

Malik, can I talk to you?

Oh, okay.

Hey, what y'all talking about

That I can't hear?

Breakfast is served.

Oh!

And listen, I know you get,

Uh, an allowance at college and

Everything, but I figured maybe

You could use this when you want

A little midnight snack, okay?

Wait a minute!

Hold on a second.

You're giving him my nail-polish

Money?!

Huh?!

Wait. Where's my food?

Right here.

Thanks, mom.

You're welcome.

Dessert for breakfast?

My son's leaving.

He can have whatever he wants.

Oh, yeah!

'cause there's nothing like

Sending somebody off to school

With a case of sugar diabetes.

Malik know he just playing

Tough.

He know he really want to stay

Home.

[ laughs ]

Yeah, like I want to stay around

In this dump with you old

People.

[ laughs ]

[ laughs nervously ]

Of course our baby doesn't

Really want to leave us --

[ laughs ]

Whoo! Whoo!

Y-you're right, mom.

You and dad should take this

Little act on the road.

[ laughs ]

Okay, listen.

Did you pack the extra sheets?

What about the disposable

Toilet-seat covers I gave you?

Did you put your name in your

Underwear this time?

Uh, hello? I'm eating.

Eat.

Yes. I did all of that.

And I-I'll even put a microchip

In my neck so you can find me if

I get lost.

That's right!

But it doesn't go in your neck.

It goes in your cellphone.

Give it here.

I almost forgot. Thank you!

Okay.

Hey, mom, could you pass me

The pepper?

You know, it is gonna be

Different being away from home.

I mean, no more free food, free

Clothes, uh, free pay-per-view.

I miss you already!

Yeah. He's just saying that.

He'll be so caught up in the

Campus life, he'll forget about

Us before thanksgiving.

Now, I want you to help your

Brother with those boxes when

You're done.

Oh, no. This family is gonna

Stop treating me like a

Secondhand mule.

Both: excuse me.

[ laughs ]

I didn't say anything.

Ha!

Okay, malik, this is not

Compatible with my chip, so I'll

Fix it later.

But just know, whatever you

Need your father and I will send

To you, okay?

We're always available via

Phone, fax, e-mail, text, voice,

Chat.

And if all that fails, your

Mother invested in some carrier

Pigeons.

Look, I'm going to college,

Not iraq!

I-I'll be back for easter, uh,

Spring break, christmas!

Hey, I'll even ship you my

Laundry if that makes you feel

Better, so --

You know what?!

I don't know how much more of

This I can take.

Aren't you late for...

Registration, orientation -- oh,

An evacuation drill, something?

Don't talk to your brother

Like -- what is wrong with you?

As a matter of fact, you're

Excused from the table.

Go check on the twins.

Okay.

Can't stand these people.

What'd you say?!

Uh... [ laughs nervously ]

I said, "Jesus loves the little

Children."

Next is puberty.

Just gonna stare at the boy

Like that?

Yeah.

Really?

Well, y-yes, of course.

We'll take him.

Yeah!

Hey...

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

...Thank you, thank you.

Calvin, can you please change

The batteries in the smoke

Alarm?

That's why it's beeping.

Miranda, calvin jr. Is

Coming.

Oh, that's good.

Can he put the batteries in the

Smoke alarm, and can he also fix

The toaster while he's at it?

No. I'm serious.

That was tracy.

She said calvin jr. Can come

Visit.

Mm, that's good, baby.

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Does that mean tracy's coming,

Too?

I don't know, and I don't

Care.

All that matters is calvin jr.

Is coming to see his daddy.

That's nice, baby.

What, you're not excited?

Yes. I'm tired.

Oh, I got to get this place

Clean.

I'm gonna move this chair so he

Doesn't bump his head again.

I'm gonna fix these corners.

Wait, wait, wait.

When exactly is he coming?

This week.

This week?!

Yeah, this week.

Okay, wait.

This week, as in not in three

Months, once I've got some rest.

You are so crazy.

No, baby, I'm tired!

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

You know, I don't think you

Understand.

You'll be at work when I'll be

Here all by myself with both

Calvin jr. And christian.

I know.

You are so lucky.

You know that?

I'm serious.

You know I had a hard time

Managing with calvin jr. When I

Was pregnant.

And now with the baby here, I

Mean, I just don't see why

You're not concerned.

So what, you don't want

Calvin jr. To come?

Now, you know that's not

True.

I love calvin jr.

I'm just overwhelmed with one

Baby.

Well, I have two.

Okay, you know what?

It's all right. It's okay.

We'll -- we'll manage.

It's only gonna be for a couple

Hours, right?

Uh, well, actually, he's

Coming for the whole week.

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

The week?!

The week, calvin?!

I cannot stand that tracy.

You know she's doing this on

Purpose.

She just has something else to

Do.

That's why she's sending

Calvin jr. To us.

Calvin, she continues to use

You, and you don't see it.

Miranda, I don't care.

I get to see my son.

Okay, you know what?

Go to work, calvin.

I'll see you later.

Mm-hmm, and change the

Batteries in that smoke alarm

Later, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Thank you!

[ door slams ]

[ baby crying ]

I'm sleepy!

Coming.

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

Oh...

Okay, ms. Ella, I know you

Made malik a care package, as

Well, but a mother knows her

Son, okay?

Yes, yes, yes.

I got it together.

Ooh!

Wait.

Ooh, ooh!

Be careful with that, please.

This first-aid kit has a

Defibrillator.

I know -- okay, okay, stop.

'cause I would rather him --

How do you turn it on?

-- have it and not need it

Than need it...

And not have it.

There you go. Thank you.

Thank you.

[ whistles ]

Clear! Boom!

What exactly is that for?

It's mother overboard.

Mother overboard!

Whatever.

Hey, hey, janine?

Yes?

I got a little hint for you.

What?

Whiskey is cheaper than

Antidepressant.

Hey, everybody.

Nephew!

Hey, baby.

Hi, jazzy.

Bam!

What's that?

These are the floor plans to

My new, supersized room!

See, mama, we don't even have to

Knock down a wall.

We could just put doors on

Either side of the bathroom,

Connect our rooms!

Gonna be like a real apartment!

You are not allowed in my

Room when I'm gone!

So what shade of pink do

Y'all like the best?

I was thinking--

Actually, you know, malik

Needs his room.

I mean, where is he going to

Sleep when he comes home for

These breaks?

Yeah! My room should always

Be like a shrine!

Yeah! An altar to an idiot!

Jazzy, that is not nice.

Nor is it accurate.

Now, if you're talking about

Your cousin calvin --

It's not like the boy got

Into harvard.

But he did get into college,

And that's more than most kids

Can say.

Both: right.

Well...

Wait a minute.

This is not even fair!

Mom, you're letting him take the

Video game to school?!

It's half mine!

Okay, we just want your

Brother to be comfortable at

School, okay?

That is not how you do kids.

You got two kids, and you got

One item.

Can I teach you how to handle a

Jealous child?

You gonna be jealous like that,

Baby?

You share things.

Didn't you learn that?

Your mama taught you that,

Didn't you?

Yes, I did.

Both of them can share.

Stop it, curtis!

You want the big half or the

Little half?

He gets to pick, since you're

The one acting nasty.

Which one?

At this point, I don't think

It really matters!

At least you got the screen.

You know what?

The screen ain't gonna do much,

So I just -- I'm just gonna let

You have this, because you

Deserve it.

You should have it.

And get one of your college

Friends to put that back

Together.

You see what that does?

You see how sweet she is now?

I got you a new phone.

[ chuckles ]

Oh, oh, okay!

Well, thank you!

You got him a new phone,

Too?

A player is as a player does.

[ laughs ]

Now here we go again.

No.

What do you want?

Nothing.

I was giving them to you.

Still mad at me?

I'm mad that you're leaving.

I mean, I was miserable the

Whole time you went to military

School, and now you're going off

To college for four to nine

Years.

I thought you wanted to be

Alone -- bathroom to yourself,

Supersized room, uh, no more cat

Food in your hello kitty

Backpack.

Well, I mean, now that you're

Gone, I'm gonna be the oldest

Now.

It's a lot of responsibility.

[ sighs ] Look.

Sit down.

[ sighs ]

Now, tell me, when was the last

Time you seen me doing something

Responsible?

[ laughs ]

Well, I mean, you take out

The trash -- oh, and you help

Dad with the storm gutters.

Look, I am too fly for manual

Labor.

They're not gonna make you do

Manual labor until you're like

14, but -- and if you're worried

About being a big sister, it's

A piece of cake.

You know, just let the twins

Watch some disney movies or buy

Them some disney toys, and when

They come to you about their

Problems, just pretend to

Listen, and eventually, they'll

Figure it out on their own.

I mean, why didn't you go to

School close to home, like

Auntie ella and cousin calvin?

At -- at first, I heard he went

Online.

And that's just...

Look, I need to get out on my

Own.

You know, I need to see the

World.

See the world?

Boy, you're going to tennessee.

What you talking about, see the

World?

You always say you wanted to

Get away from me, so now you're

Actually doing it.

Look, I'm not running away

From you.

Well, it seems like it.

And who's gonna watch out for me

At school?!

Oh, I told you, I'm not

Fighting that jenkins girl

Again.

[ laughing ] Oh, yeah!

But that -- that was pretty

Pathetic.

She beat you up really bad.

I mean, you were, like,

Screaming, "Aah!"

You was like, "Let me --"

Had to fight her off.

It really wasn't working.

It wasn't that serious,

Okay?

She got lucky.

Let's just chalk it up as a

Tie.

Back to what I was saying, that,

You know, life is about fighting

Your own battles, and...

Nobody is gonna be around to

Help you clean up before mom and

Dad gets home.

But I just want to let you know

That I'll always be your big

Brother, and I'm always a phone

Call away.

So here you go.

You know what?

I kind of wanted that new

Iphone.

Well, okay, you can just give

This to uncle curtis.

Oh, no, no. That's okay.

I love you.

Love you, too.

Oh!

[ laughs ]

Oh, uh, it's a chip in there,

And, um, mom can track you,

So, uh --

Oh, then I don't want that.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, I think you should keep

It, because, uh, it may come in

Handy sometime, you know, just

In case mom wants to come around

And that jenkins girl is around

Again.

Maybe mom will have better luck

Than I did.

Can, um, you put c.J. Down

For a nap?

It's time for both of them,

Actually, to have a nap, but I

Just need a little bit of help

Before you go back to work.

Yeah.

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

You want a nap, little man?

Oh, he should go down easy.

Should be exhausted after all

The running around he's done

Today.

You gonna go to sleep?

Come on.

We don't need all these

Blankets.

Ooh.

There you go.

There you go.

[ door closes ]

[ smoke alarm beeps ]

Oh, wow!

Okay, okay.

Yeah, they're -- they're all

Gonna leave.

That's -- that's what they do.

So, son, how do you like your

Room?

Oh, I really like it!

Jazmine, you can have my old

Room.

Well, hey, that sounds good

To me.

So, are you nervous, son?

On, no. Uh, not at all.

You know, up here, I got my own

Desk, got my own bed, my own

Cobwebs.

Cobwebs!

You know, you guys can leave

Whenever you want to.

[ laughs ]

Y-you can leave whenever you

Want to, so y'all can leave --

You can leave whenever you want

To.

Come on.

Y-you can leave.

You can leave. Come on.

Are you throwing us out?!

Yeah, yeah! Y'all got to go.

I said y'all could leave

Whenever you want to, you know?

That's rude.

Take care. Take care, dad.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

We got to make this right, baby.

We have to pray.

You know that.

Come on, c.J. Come on.

The men of the family pray.

Come on, come on, come on.

Please.

Okay.

Hallelujah.

* the devil thought he had

Me *

Ah! Cut a rug.

* you better hold on tight,

'cause we're about to ride *

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Curtis --

Thank you!

You ain't want me to do it.

No. C.J., pray.

I-I got this one.

Okay.

All right.

"Father god, we ask you to watch

Over the man-child as he goes

Out into the promised land."

Yes, yes, yes.

Keep him focused, lord.

Keep his mind on his studies,

Where they're supposed to be.

Yes.

Father, we ask you to keep

Your hands of protection over

Him when he's out of our care,

Keep his mind right.

We thank you, father.

Amen.

All: amen.

Amen.

Hi. I'm jennifer.

Which one of you is my roommate?

Is it him?

Oh, which bed do you want?

[ laughs ]