Original subtitles

I fold, man.

Damn, all right, unc.

What you got?

What I got?

CJ: Yeah.

How about ace of club?

How about two of club?

How about eight of club?

How about a flush?

How about that?

You know what that spells?

I'm putting all your chips in my pocket.

That's what it spells Flusharoo.

You know what?

Can I at least have enough cash to feed my pet ferret Joffrey?

It's not cash.

It's chips.

OK, Ella, don't allow gambling.

You know that.

That's true.

Man, you done folded four times

and we just started playing.

Man I ain't got that much cash.

I really just came for the hot wings.

Speaking of hot wings.

Ella?

Ella, Ella?

Yes, Curtis?

Ella, Ella!

Baby, what?

Curtis, what are you yelling about and what do you want?

Baby, I'm yelling because you didn't hear me the first two

times I called you.

Can you make some more of them hot wings, please?

Oh, yeah.

And can you make half of them like lemon pepper,

and then the other half make 'em with thyme,

and then the other half, you can make 'em teriyaki.

Oh, and can you get some blue cheese?

Oh, what are y'all doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

[mumbling]

What you doing, baby?

Curtis, I am doing the same thing that I have

been doing all day-- studying.

Still studying?

ELLA: Yes.

Baby, Ella, you know, study long, study wrong.

OK?

You should be ready for that test by now.

You ain't ready for it?

Curtis, I would be.

I really would be if I did not have to make

sandwiches and chips in dip.

Curtis, is there anything else I can do for you, Your Highness?

I really would like some-- some cocoa butter.

please.

Please, come on!

Leave me alone!

Snap, snap.

So does mean y'all don't have any cocoa butter?

All right, guys, ante up.

You know you're about to go home broke, right, CJ?

Janine already beat you to it.

Too late.

We celebrated our anniversary last night

before she left town.

Oh.

Man, that means Calvin's broke too.

I tell you what.

I bet you all the chips on the table that Calvin

forgot his anniversary.

I'll bet he did forget.

He ain't only been married a couple years.

Fellas, fellas, fellas.

What's up, fellas?

I'm about to run a table on y'all.

Y'all ready to lose y'all money?

Shh!

I mean-- I mean, chips.

Chips.

You've still got money after buying

Miranda's anniversary present?

Oh, no.

Our anniversary's next week.

Make it rain.

Make it rain.

Thank you, Calvin Payne. - Hey, man.

You forgot that you got married on the same day as me

and Janine?

No, we got married on the day the twins were born.

Which is the same day.

Same day.

Boy just dumb.

No, no, that's that new dumb.

Three, two, one.

I'ma need this, and y'all gonna lose this here.

No, com on, man!

What about, Joffrey?

In Western culture, human males often leave the offspring

to be cared for by the females.

So he leaves the home and pursues sustenance.

[singing]

Curtis!

Curtis!

[laughter]

[cj mumbling and laughing]

Curtis!

Just like I thought, we're out of beer.

We gotta go to the store.

OK.

Gotta go to the store right now.

For what? For what?

For what?

We need some beer, baby.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh!

Wait a minute, baby.

Now, I know you guys are not gonna be drinking and driving.

No, baby.

We gonna walk.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Curtis, you need to watch the twins.

What about the twins?

They'll slow us down.

- No, no, no, no, no, no. - He got a point.

Curtis, no.

I mean, bye, Floyd.

Friends wouldn't let friends watch twins buzzed.

I don't like him.

Curtis, listen to me.

Baby, I'm talking about watching the twins.

I have to study, Curtis.

I really do.

And everybody's just asking me to help them do something.

Help me do this, help me do that, help me do this and that!

Curtis!

Hey, baby, hey, baby, look here.

Calm down, OK?

- Baby. - I know.

I know. Do you know what you need?

Yes, some peace and quiet!

Why are you yelling, then?

Then, some peace and quiet.

You're right.

Thank you.

Thank you.

OK.

Leaves the home--

All right, Floyd.

Come on, let's go.

[door slams]

Ah, hell!

[babies crying]

Oh no!

Happy anniversary, baby.

Mwah.

Oh, girl.

Baby, you-- whoa, whoa.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

I knew that you would have very special plans for us

this evening, and I figured you'd like to see me in this.

You are right, but it would look much better

on the floor in our bedroom.

OK, wait, wait, wait, wait, first, first, first, first,

come, come, come, come, come.

Come on, I know you have special plans, so first

let's open our presents.

Oh, you know what? I'll go first.

I'll go first. - OK.

Don't look.

OK.

You're peeking.

That's for you.

A watch?

Yes, , it symbolizes the wonderful time that we have

spent together in the past and the great times

we have together in the future.

I love you, baby.

I love you too, baby.

Cool.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, where are you going?

Where's my gift?

It's my turn.

You bought me diamonds? You bought them.

You bought me diamonds?

OK, wait, wait, wait. Don't tell me.

Don't tell me. OK, I wanna be surprised.

OK, go ahead.

You're gonna be surprised, all right.

OK, here.

There you go.

Slippers?

Yes, those symbolize the steps that

will take to get from here to the bedroom

after you open your next gift.

OK.

What is this?

Baby oil.

See, this represents-- well, you--

you know what it represents.

But there-- there's something else.

I got one more thing for you.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let's make it official.

Open that up.

You gonna like that.

A gift certificate to get my teeth whitened, Calvin?

Yeah, well, it's to maintain your beautiful smile

from a lot of chocolate.

Calvin, you forgot our anniversary, didn't you?

Baby, I did, but it was an honest mistake.

And you know what?

I honestly don't care.

Excuse me.

Well you don't-- you don't wanna use the baby oil?

You done tore yo drawers this time.

You have committed one of the worst sins of marriage.

Pops, you ain't never missed a wedding anniversary.

Not nary a one.

He must not know.

Unc, you gonna tell him?

I ain't telling him nothing.

Go ahead and tell him, unc.

Nah, I ain't gonna tell him.

You don't wanna leave him in the dark, 'cause he

gonna be out there by himself.

I think I'd better tell him.

Always-- and I mean always--

keep a secret stash.

Secret stash!

Where do you keep it, nephew?

In the closet!

I think the year was 19, 8, and 7.

1987!

The game was on.

Double overtime.

Overtime!

Do you think I'm going to the store?

Is he going to the store?

Do I like I'm going to the store?

Hell no!

Hell no!

I went to my emergency secret stash!

Emergency stash!

And let me tell you, when she opened up that gift,

I was more surprised than she was.

More surprised than she was.

Thank you.

So-- so what are the gifts?

What are the gifts?

That's too much.

That's too much?

My bad.

I'm gonna tone it down a little bit.

Bracelets.

Look at you.

Bracelets, earrings.

Lingerie.

You heard.

Lingerie.

Lingerie.

That's a little--

Hello?

And more lingerie.

And always make sure you have enough lingerie.

Got to get the lingerie!

Hey, baby.

Hello, Curtis.

Hey Hey.

Mama, you all right?

Aunt Ella, my shirt and pants was great!

Good, I'm glad you got everything you needed.

Oh, oh, Mom.

I was wondering if-- if you can babysit Christian.

Because I missed my anniversary, so I gotta do a do-over today.

Where's my do-over?

Huh?

What?

Did I miss out anniversary, baby?

Curtis, don't go to that secret stash.

I had my test today.

Oh how did you do?

How did you do, baby?

How do you think I did?

How do you think I did?

With having to fix your clothes, and take care

of your screaming babies, and making snacks

for your Christian spades?

How do you think I did?

Huh?

Got a B minus?

Got a C?

Dang, you got a D, baby?

I failed, Curtis.

All these years of hard work, and with one test, none of it

matters.

I may not graduate.

And for the first time in my life, I feel like a failure.

It's not the first time you felt like a failure, though.

Baby, that's not-- that's not the first time

you felt like a failure.

I got a gift for you, baby.

Run!

Babe, you'll always be my little college flunky.

I'm just playing.

Curtis.

You gonna always be my college graduate, baby.

Baby, please.

This was really important to me.

I know.

You know, you could always just take the test over.

Yeah, you'll be ahead of the class, just like I was.

You're the reason I failed.

Every one of you.

But I-- I wasn't even here.

Come on, baby, you can't blame us 'cause you failed the test.

Why not, Curtis?

It's because of you all that I did not study.

If I did not do all of the stuff that I did for you guys,

I would have had time to study.

Oh, woman, you sound crazy right now.

What is that?

How you gonna blame us? What we supposed to do?

All you gotta do is tell us.

We supposed to read your mind? - Curtis.

Tell us what you're doing.

Tell us what you want.

I did tell you!

Curtis, how many different ways can I say "I need to study?"

I have to study.

I gotta study, Curtis.

Get away from me right now, the.

I need to study.

Curtis, leave me alone.

You see this books?

I'm studying/ Books, Curtis, studying!

What?

I wasn't here.

No, no.

We-- we sorry.

In

No, no.

I'm the one who's sorry.

The one time I needed to put myself first,

you wouldn't let me.

You knew how much this test meant to me.

And I thought maybe for once they will consider me,

and they'll think about helping me because of all the things

I help you do.

But you didn't even do that.

You couldn't-- couldn't even do it.

OK, all right.

OK.

Wait, I wasn't even here.

Shut up, please.

OK, we get it. OK?

Ella, we get it.

Curtis, no you don't.

For you to have to throw your arms around like this,

no, you don't.

You don't get it.

What would you do if, for some reason,

I did not do all the helping that I usually do for you?

What would you do?

What would you do if I did not help you?

Eat bacon everyday.

That's what I thought.

That's what I thought.

So why don't we just try that?

Hm?

Yeah, I think so.

I'd like to do that.

Would you like to do that?

Yes, I would.

I'm not gonna help you anymore.

You help yourselves.

I'll help me.

You help you.

Everybody ready?

Ready?

Go.

Whatever you're doing won't work.

Our anniversary was yesterday.

Well, baby, do you-- do you know what today is?

Um, let's see.

Today is my husband anniversary and is

trying to make it up to me day?

Yeah.

Listen, I celebrate my anniversary on the day.

I don't do sloppy sequels.

Look, look, look, baby, baby, I know I messed up.

I forgot the most important day of my life.

But--

You can't make it up to me, Calvin.

But wouldn't you like to see me try?

Maybe some wine will help, I guess.

Wine.

There you are.

Oh. Oh, wait.

I got something for you.

Happy anniversary.

How did you know I wanted these?

Be

Because I know you.

And they symbolize my appreciation

for you standing by my side and loving

me every step of the way.

I hope they're the right size.

Can I have this one, too?

You're so sweet.

Glad you like 'em.

Calvin.

I can put that one on.

I got it. - Yeah.

- Thank you. - Oh, wait.

What?

Wait right here.

I got something else.

I got something else for you.

You wanna see?

Can you come over here?

Come by daddy, huh?

I'm gonna give it to you.

It's for you.

Baby!

They are beautiful.

Diamond earrings?

We can afford these?

Yeah, after 44 easy payments, they're all yours.

So you forgive me?

Maybe.

OK.

Say you forgive me.

You forgive me?

Maybe a little bit.

Come on.

Oh yeah.

OK, Curtis, what are you cooking,

and why are you cleaning?

Missed a spot.

Baby, you got us thinking.

And you're right.

We ask you to do a lot of things.

So now we don't want you to do nothing.

Move, baby.

Let me See what you doing.

Get back.

Get gone.

Let me--

Mom, you don't have to cook, clean, or do anything

that you don't wanna do.

Unless you wanna make my favorite pineapple upside down

cake.

So I am not supposed to do anything?

Nope.

Nothing.

Right, good.

Matter of fact, baby, you go in the room, you sit down,

and you relax.

Sit in my chair, put your feet up, and relax.

I don't wanna sit in your chair.

Don't get up.

Do not move a muscle.

Just wanted you to see I folded the clothes.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

Thank you.

You folded the clothes?

What?

What clothes did you fold?

These are not folded.

This is ridiculous.

What are you doing?

No, nothing, nothing.

I was-- see, I was gonna try these--

try these on.

You were about to fold them clothes, wasn't you?

CJ, well, they need to be folded.

OK, fine, fine, CJ.

Do the laundry, turn all the whites pink.

See if I care.

I don't care.

You're just gonna have to stop.

You got too much on your plate now.

You're gonna have to start telling us "no" more often.

OK?

You're in college.

Right?

You got the church.

I don't know.

We just gonna have to respect your boundaries, OK?

Now, say it with me.

"No!"

CJ, I don't feel like this.

Now, Aunt Ella, come on now.

"No!"

No.

Louder.

No!

Right, you getting it, but you gotta go a little louder.

No!

Yes, now give it some feeling!

[screaming]

I did it! Ha.

Hey, baby.

No!

I liked that.

CJ!

Baby, can you get me a--

Huh.

And where's my--

Huh.

[phone ringing]

What would I do without you?

What would I do without you?

Hello?

Got it.

Who was that?

Calvin and the baby are locked out,

and he does not know where Miranda is.

So I need to go by.

I got the spare key.

Need to go by the store and get them some diapers.

Well, wait a minute.

He said all that in three seconds?

I know my family, baby.

She is good.

ELLA: Dinner's in the oven!

She is good.

[music playing]