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1
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[door opens]
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Whew.
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Hey, so how was it?
4
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Same old story. You know.
5
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People got shot. Cops showed up.
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I still don't know why that man
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Was in his underwear.
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What movie did you see?
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I didn't go to the movies.
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I stopped at the mall to get my
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Phone fixed.
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Hey, baby.
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Hey, baby.
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I'm glad you're home.
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Aww.
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Here. I washed it.
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You fold it.
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Since when did I start
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Folding clothes?
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Since we decided to make
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Our marriage work.
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Well, did you decide that you
23
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Was going to change the oil in
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The car?
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Dad, I don't mean to be mean,
26
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But you don't even change
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The oil in the car, so...
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Weren't you supposed to be
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Going away?
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Speaking of going away, I
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Need this to do that, ok?
32
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I have to set the table for
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Dinner.
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You can do your homework
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Somewhere else.
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No, no, this isn't homework.
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I'm making a list of things that
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I need for college.
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Oh, don't say that word
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Around this woman, please.
41
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You know how she gets.
42
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My firstborn is going--do you
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See this?
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This is my college baby right
45
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Here.
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My babies are all gonna be
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Grown up.
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Soon, it's gonna be jazi--
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You're choking the boy.
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
51
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Soon it's gonna be jazi and
52
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Then my twins.
53
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My twins. Oh, my god.
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My twins are gonna leave me,
55
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Too.
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I'm gonna go check on them, too.
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Oh!
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Ha ha ha!
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Man, I'm so proud of you.
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All that we've been through with
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The family.
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You stayed smart, you stayed in
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The books, you went away to
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Military school.
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Then, you came back.
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Now you're getting ready to go
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Off and go to college, boy.
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You something else.
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Let me see.
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Let me see that list.
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Oh, ok, but it's still
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A work in progress.
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That's all right.
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Let me look at it.
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Notebooks, pens, aftershave?
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Yep. For my 5:00 shadow.
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Boy, your 5:00 shadow ain't
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Get past noon.
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[chuckles]
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Lava lamp.
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Slow jam playlist.
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Ah!
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Ah!
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There you go.
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Passion-fruit incense.
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Yep. Well, you know the dorm
87
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Rooms can get a little funky.
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Just got to keep it fresh.
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Baby oil?
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You know, it smoothes out
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My skin.
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Ha ha ha!
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Breath freshener.
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Self-explanatory.
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Yep. Yep.
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Well, you got this list, man.
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If you gonna have all this, you
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Missing one thing.
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You gonna need this.
100
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Bam!
101
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Condoms?
102
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[siren wails]
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[tires screech]
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Are you using condoms?
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Condominiums!
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Um, I know that's what you meant
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To write down, and I know we've
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Been talking about, you know, me
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Living off campus, so I'll just
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Go over here and finish writing
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That down for you.
112
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Uh, condominiums. Yeah.
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Now, son, we talked about
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This already.
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Do we need to talk about this
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Again?
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Uh, uh, you remember the time
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When I walked in on you and mom
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And she was like, "Aah!" and you
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Was like, "Oh, yeah," and I was
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Like, "Ew! Nasty!"?
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I see what you're saying.
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You know, that's how I feel
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Right now.
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"Ew! Nasty!"
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Ok, let me try to put it to
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You a little nother way for you
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Here.
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If this was baseball, would you
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Be on first base or would you be
131
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Sliding into home?
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[both laugh]
133
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I'm gonna act like I don't
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Know what you're talking about.
135
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Come on now, ok, ok.
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I feel you, son.
137
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Let me give it to you another
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Way.
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Is your bat in the dugout, or
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Are you swinging for the fences?
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Dad, you just took this to a
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Whole nother level.
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Yeah.
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Ha ha!
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And I'm gonna keep acting like
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I don't know what you're
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Talking about, so--
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Boy, are you having sex?
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Huh?
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You know what?
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Don't even answer that.
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No, you know what?
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Go ahead.
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No, I don't even want to know.
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No, you know what?
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Just go ahead.
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Go ahead and tell me.
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Tell you what?
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Uh, dad, please, just keep
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This between me and you.
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You know, I think it's about
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Time that I got malik some con--
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Diments! Condiments!
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Um, you know, uh, I wanted some
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Ketchup and mustard for my dorm
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Room, so...
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Can I get it?
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I' ma go get it.
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Ok.
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Scratch that off your little
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List.
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Calm down.
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Ok.
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Ok?
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Here.
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In your little box, which I
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Asked you to move earlier.
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Sorry. Thanks, mom.
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Ok. You're welcome.
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What else do you need?
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Well, I think that he should
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Get some con--
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Concert tickets!
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Uh, uh, cousin calvin said he
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Was gonna get me some concert
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Tickets, and I-- oh, look at the
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Time.
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You know, I better go meet him
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So he can give me the tickets.
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All right.
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Well, come back before
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Dinner.
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Yeah, make sure you get here,
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Because we're gonna have chili
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Con--
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Conversation!
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That's what he meant to say.
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He was gonna say "Conversation."
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Ha ha ha!
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Ok, curtis, so, I guess you
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Don't want me to make the little
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Sandwiches that I made for the
203
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Book club, then, huh?
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Gonna be little sandwiches,
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Baby?
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You gonna make the little ones?
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The ones you make with the
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Spiced ham spread on them?
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Yes.
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You gonna cut the crust like
211
00:04:39,533 --> 00:04:40,200
You always do?
212
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Yes.
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Hell, no.
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Baby, we don't want no finger
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Food, ok?
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We need some hand food.
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The kind that you can hand us
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From the other room.
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Hey!
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Thank you. Excuse us, baby.
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We're trying to make this a
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Estrogen-free environment.
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Thank you.
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Ok, you can have your little
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Estrogen-free environment,
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Curtis.
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You keep talking smart, you're
228
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Gonna have a food-free
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Environment.
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And keep your hands to yourself.
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Keep your hands to yourself.
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Keep your hands to yourself.
233
00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,633
Hey, uncle curtis.
234
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Put your hands on it.
235
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Mmm, mmm.
236
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Where the food?
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Well, I just had to get out
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The house, but my dad's coming
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With the wings later.
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Ok, well, then, your dad can
241
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Come and you can leave.
242
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Come sit down.
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Gonna talk to you real quick.
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Ok.
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Just remember that...
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College man.
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About to go to college.
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Yeah.
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Ha ha ha!
250
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You know, your uncle went to
251
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College.
252
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Huh.
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You know what I majored in?
254
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No.
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Ta-da-da-dup.
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My whole curriculum was
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Ta-da-da-dup!
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And you know what you need when
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You gonna ta-da-da-dup?
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Condoms!
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Aah! Condoms.
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Come on, please, please.
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My dad already talked to me
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About that.
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Your dad talked to you about
266
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What?
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What's your dad gonna tell you
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That--I taught your dad
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Everything he knows.
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You got the grand poobah of the
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Payne men right here in front
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Of you.
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Huh?
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00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,267
You know, I think I feel more
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Comfortable talking about this
276
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With cousin calvin, so...
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What the hell you gonna talk
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To calvin about?
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Calvin got two babies and two
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Baby mamas.
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He don't even know what aisle
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The condoms is on.
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Now, look, I'm telling you.
284
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Listen to your uncle, boy, ok?
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Get you some condoms, man.
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You never know what gonna
287
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Happen.
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You won't be caught in no
289
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Situation.
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You might be ta-da-da-dup and
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00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,567
You're thinking would you wear
292
00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:30,900
Them?
293
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:31,767
Get you some condoms.
294
00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,200
Uh, con-- conferences!
295
00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,800
Uh, eastern and western
296
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,800
Conferences.
297
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,567
Oh, man. Tough competition.
298
00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:39,500
Malik, so, you here for the
299
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,800
Big game, too, huh?
300
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,200
Please. Malik ain't come to
301
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:44,533
Watch no game.
302
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,300
Malik's gonna play the game.
303
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:48,067
Ha ha! Malik.
304
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:50,167
He gonna be in the big leagues,
305
00:06:50,167 --> 00:06:51,900
Like his uncle curtis was
306
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,400
Back in the diz-ay.
307
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,633
Ha! Malik, you do not want to
308
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,833
Be like your uncle back in the
309
00:06:57,833 --> 00:07:00,267
Diz-ay, because I remember you
310
00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:03,067
Striking out every time you came
311
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,433
Up to bat.
312
00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:06,667
Ha ha ha.
313
00:07:06,667 --> 00:07:08,067
Ha ha ha!
314
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,100
Hey, I got proof.
315
00:07:10,100 --> 00:07:12,600
Calvin. Hit it one time, boy.
316
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,233
Ha ha ha!
317
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,900
Oh, ok. I'm gonna just go
318
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:16,233
Play in the streets.
319
00:07:16,233 --> 00:07:17,133
All right, you gonna play
320
00:07:17,133 --> 00:07:17,667
In the street.
321
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:18,967
Ha ha.
322
00:07:18,967 --> 00:07:20,367
Don't forget them condoms when
323
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:21,467
You in the street, boy.
324
00:07:21,467 --> 00:07:24,367
Hey, 'lik. Hey, 'lik.
325
00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:25,800
Listen to your uncle, now.
326
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,967
Get them condoms, boy!
327
00:07:27,967 --> 00:07:30,167
[knocking on door]
328
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:33,733
Ah. There he is. College boy.
329
00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:34,433
What's up?
330
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:35,500
What's up, cuz?
331
00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,067
You will not believe the day
332
00:07:37,067 --> 00:07:37,967
That I'm having.
333
00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:39,333
First, dad, then uncle curtis--
334
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,433
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
335
00:07:40,433 --> 00:07:41,433
You're going to college.
336
00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:42,333
I got something for you.
337
00:07:42,333 --> 00:07:43,067
Stay right there.
338
00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:46,467
What--really? This again?
339
00:07:46,467 --> 00:07:47,600
I hope these fit.
340
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,233
Wait, aren't they all just
341
00:07:49,233 --> 00:07:50,533
One size fits all?
342
00:07:50,533 --> 00:07:51,533
Oh, no, no. You got to make
343
00:07:51,533 --> 00:07:52,600
Sure you get the right size,
344
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:53,667
Because if you get the wrong
345
00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:54,700
Size, then you'll get blisters.
346
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:56,900
Ew! Blisters?!
347
00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,067
I present to you
348
00:07:58,067 --> 00:07:59,900
My college shoe collection.
349
00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,133
Ohh!
350
00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:02,567
What? Shoes?
351
00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:03,933
Ok.
352
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,433
Freshman year. Hold those.
353
00:08:06,433 --> 00:08:09,200
Sophomore year.
354
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,133
Junior year. I like these.
355
00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:12,567
Yeah.
356
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:14,200
Junior year.
357
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,533
Ok.
358
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,767
Junior year.
359
00:08:18,767 --> 00:08:20,167
Whoa. Thanks for the shoes,
360
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:20,900
Cousin calvin.
361
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,067
I'm just glad you weren't
362
00:08:22,067 --> 00:08:23,400
Talking about the other thing.
363
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,700
What other thing?
364
00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:25,900
Oh, uh, nothing.
365
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:27,100
Oh, one more thing.
366
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:28,467
Malik, this comes with a lot of
367
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,400
Responsibility, ok?
368
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,300
Here we go.
369
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,767
Now, there's a lot of cold
370
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:32,600
Nights, right?
371
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,967
But you need this to protect
372
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,300
Yourself from catching stuff,
373
00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,700
Because I caught something like
374
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:37,667
5 times a semester.
375
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,100
Oh, my gosh. What?
376
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,700
My electric blanket will
377
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,300
Keep you from getting sick.
378
00:08:43,300 --> 00:08:45,733
Oh, an electric blanket.
379
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:46,800
Well, thank you, cousin calvin.
380
00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,833
You know, I'm just glad you
381
00:08:47,833 --> 00:08:48,967
Weren't talking about the other
382
00:08:48,967 --> 00:08:49,600
Thing.
383
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,067
What other thing?
384
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,167
Oh, nothing, nothing.
385
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:53,233
You know, my dad's been
386
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:53,733
Tripping.
387
00:08:53,733 --> 00:08:55,067
Uncle curtis has been tripping.
388
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,300
I'm just glad you not tripping.
389
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:57,367
Whoa, look, malik.
390
00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:58,833
Have you thought about getting
391
00:08:58,833 --> 00:09:00,067
Yourself some condoms?
392
00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,667
Really? You, too?
393
00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:02,500
No, I'm serious.
394
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,067
It's college.
395
00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:03,933
You got to get yourself
396
00:09:03,933 --> 00:09:04,367
Some con--
397
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:04,933
Con-tracts.
398
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:08,500
Contracts? Contracts what?
399
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,900
Contracts? Uh, contracts.
400
00:09:09,900 --> 00:09:10,633
It's college.
401
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,167
Everybody needs one to protect
402
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:12,867
Themselves.
403
00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,067
Contracts. I'll get you
404
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:15,067
Those contracts later.
405
00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:15,933
No, thank you.
406
00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:18,433
You keep you faulty contracts.
407
00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:21,667
Contracts.
408
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,667
Huh. All right.
409
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,167
Oh, gosh.
410
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,800
Hey, young blood.
411
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,400
Look at you.
412
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,200
Wow!
413
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,300
Young man now.
414
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:51,067
Growing a little hair and
415
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:51,967
Everything.
416
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:53,833
Wow. You going off to college.
417
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:55,867
That's the word on the street.
418
00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:57,067
See, I've been talking to your
419
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:57,467
Uncle.
420
00:09:57,467 --> 00:09:58,700
He been telling me about you.
421
00:09:58,700 --> 00:09:59,667
About to go off to college.
422
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:00,767
He be trying to have that little
423
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,333
Talk with you.
424
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:03,167
But I'm gonna have my talk with
425
00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:03,800
You, son.
426
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,467
Yeah. Now, see, when you go off
427
00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:07,300
To college, you got to learn how
428
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:08,400
To play the game.
429
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,300
Pssht! What?
430
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,300
I thought I invented the game
431
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:14,600
Back in the day, until my uncle
432
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,733
Sat me down and had "The talk"
433
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:17,467
With me.
434
00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:19,433
Yeah, when I was a young player
435
00:10:19,433 --> 00:10:21,167
About to go and leave home.
436
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,800
Oh, "The talk." oh.
437
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,400
Here we go again.
438
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,133
Son, when you get in there,
439
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,600
You got to get into that
440
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:29,467
Batter's box and you got to dig
441
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:31,133
In with your heels real good.
442
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,967
Choke up on your bat.
443
00:10:32,967 --> 00:10:33,833
You understand?
444
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:36,667
And you got to swing.
445
00:10:36,667 --> 00:10:37,367
Can't be scared.
446
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,467
They might throw you a curve,
447
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,900
But, son, you got--you got to be
448
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:40,567
Ready for it.
449
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:41,367
You understand?
450
00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:42,633
You know now, right?
451
00:10:42,633 --> 00:10:43,633
No.
452
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:45,133
No? You don't get it? Ok.
453
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,800
Well, look, don't worry about
454
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,633
Striking out, because it happens
455
00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:50,200
To the best of us, even me.
456
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,800
Can you believe it?
457
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:53,567
But it will happen.
458
00:10:53,567 --> 00:10:54,833
But what you got to do, you got
459
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,000
To get in there, you got to
460
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:56,833
Continue to swing.
461
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:58,133
Continue to swing until you hit
462
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,400
It, and when you hit it, you got
463
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,133
To hit it hard every time!
464
00:11:02,133 --> 00:11:04,400
You understand now, right?
465
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,200
No, no. Amuse me.
466
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,067
Ok. Well, look, you seem to
467
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,767
Be a little conservative and
468
00:11:09,767 --> 00:11:10,967
Everything, so this is what you
469
00:11:10,967 --> 00:11:11,433
Got to do.
470
00:11:11,433 --> 00:11:12,767
You got to learn how to play the
471
00:11:12,767 --> 00:11:13,100
Field.
472
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:14,933
Hell, play the whole ballpark,
473
00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:15,400
Son.
474
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,667
I mean, play all out in the
475
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:17,133
Street.
476
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:18,567
And look, you've got to play in
477
00:11:18,567 --> 00:11:19,867
A neighborhood that you never
478
00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,467
Been in before, because if you
479
00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:23,067
Get over there and you hit a
480
00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,500
Home run, hell, you'll be a
481
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:25,100
Legend.
482
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:26,900
I'm telling you, dawg!
483
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:28,600
I know you know what I'm talking
484
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,233
About now.
485
00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:30,700
Uh, this is a little bit
486
00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:32,233
Disturbing, and I still don't
487
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,433
Know what you're talking about,
488
00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,933
So...
489
00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:36,067
So, this is what happens in
490
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:36,667
Public school.
491
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:39,067
Hmm.
492
00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:41,733
Look, son, if the other player
493
00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:44,333
Is better than you, learn from
494
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:44,933
Them.
495
00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:47,333
Just soak it all in, so the next
496
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:49,400
Time that you get up to bat...
497
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,133
You'll go ahead and you'll hit
498
00:11:51,133 --> 00:11:52,600
That thing out the park.
499
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,167
Pow!
500
00:11:54,167 --> 00:11:55,600
Boo-yah!
501
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,100
You understand what I'm saying?
502
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,867
You still don't get it.
503
00:11:58,867 --> 00:12:01,700
Son, my trade secret is to use a
504
00:12:01,700 --> 00:12:03,267
Little pine tar.
505
00:12:03,267 --> 00:12:07,567
You know? Boo-yah!
506
00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:08,400
Uh, pine tar.
507
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,833
What-- what-- what does that
508
00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:11,267
Have to do with anything right
509
00:12:11,267 --> 00:12:11,633
Now?
510
00:12:11,633 --> 00:12:13,300
You're talking about playing
511
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,833
Baseball in college, right?
512
00:12:14,833 --> 00:12:16,500
No, I thought--that's exactly
513
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,933
What I'm talking about, so
514
00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:19,133
Thank you, mr. Floyd.
515
00:12:19,133 --> 00:12:20,900
[both laugh]
516
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:22,967
Oh. All right.
517
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:27,133
I'm sorry, miss ella.
518
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:28,500
The washer just gave out again.
519
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,667
Oh, please. No problem.
520
00:12:29,667 --> 00:12:30,900
Curtis gives out all the time.
521
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,767
I'm gonna tell.
522
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:32,867
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
523
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,133
You only have this one load,
524
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:34,533
Right?
525
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,200
For now.
526
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:35,667
Oh.
527
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:36,367
Love you.
528
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:37,700
Yeah. What about the washing
529
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:38,267
Detergent?
530
00:12:38,267 --> 00:12:38,933
You got that?
531
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:40,133
I'm gonna borrow some of
532
00:12:40,133 --> 00:12:42,567
That.
533
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:43,267
Make no sense.
534
00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:44,133
The game will be there.
535
00:12:44,133 --> 00:12:44,767
No, no--
536
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,167
Everything you asked for is
537
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:47,067
In the bag, ok?
538
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:47,767
Curtis.
539
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,300
Everything you had on the
540
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:50,167
List in the bag.
541
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:51,333
Check it for yourself, ella.
542
00:12:51,333 --> 00:12:52,533
I think I missed the kickoff.
543
00:12:52,533 --> 00:12:53,633
Let me tell you something.
544
00:12:53,633 --> 00:12:54,767
If I miss this kickoff, I'm
545
00:12:54,767 --> 00:12:55,533
Gonna kick your--
546
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:56,333
What? Hmm?
547
00:12:56,333 --> 00:12:57,900
I was gonna ask where calvin
548
00:12:57,900 --> 00:12:58,300
Was.
549
00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,900
Yes. I know you did not get
550
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:00,700
Everything.
551
00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,067
Hey, no women allowed.
552
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:02,900
You heard?
553
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:04,067
No problem.
554
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:05,867
Potato chips. Ha!
555
00:13:05,867 --> 00:13:07,900
Ok. Condoms.
556
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:10,967
Really?
557
00:13:10,967 --> 00:13:11,767
Condoms.
558
00:13:11,767 --> 00:13:13,100
Ha! Really?
559
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:14,067
Extra-sensitive condoms?
560
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,200
Oh, you still have a few
561
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,500
Minutes left on your load, so
562
00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:17,733
I'll just sort out here, ok?
563
00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:18,633
Ok.
564
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:19,900
I don't know if I can do
565
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:20,300
This.
566
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,067
I don't know.
567
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,433
The twins are getting so big so
568
00:13:22,433 --> 00:13:24,500
Fast and jazi, and now with
569
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:28,267
Malik on his way off to c--
570
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,400
I just can't say the "C" word.
571
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,700
Don't say any "C" words.
572
00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:33,067
Don't say any words beginning
573
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:33,533
With a "C."
574
00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:34,433
I think about it and I get
575
00:13:34,433 --> 00:13:35,267
All emotional, you know?
576
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:39,067
It's just--what the hell?
577
00:13:39,067 --> 00:13:40,200
Hi, miss ella, janine.
578
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,133
Where's calvin?
579
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:44,067
Huh. Hey, baby.
580
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,467
Hey. Listen, I am so mad
581
00:13:46,467 --> 00:13:47,300
At him.
582
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:49,400
I found some condoms in his
583
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,600
Stuff.
584
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:52,967
Big box.
585
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:53,967
Imagine that.
586
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,833
I just found a box of condoms in
587
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:56,700
C.J.'s pants.
588
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,167
Curtis just purchased some
589
00:13:58,167 --> 00:13:59,700
Condoms from the grocery store.
590
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:02,467
What he need with some condoms?
591
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,067
What his old black ass--
592
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:05,100
Miss ella!
593
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:06,500
His ass is old.
594
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,933
Huh.
595
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:11,467
Huh! Curtis! C.J.!
596
00:14:11,467 --> 00:14:12,367
What he got--about
597
00:14:12,367 --> 00:14:12,967
$150 million?
598
00:14:12,967 --> 00:14:13,767
He killing it.
599
00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:15,400
He'd better play for a while.
600
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,867
He gonna need it for every
601
00:14:16,867 --> 00:14:17,367
Child.
602
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:17,900
Whoa!
603
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,367
Yay!
604
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,833
That's what I'm talking about
605
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:20,500
Right there.
606
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:21,733
That's what I'm talking
607
00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:22,167
About!
608
00:14:22,167 --> 00:14:24,267
Ha ha ha!
609
00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:25,167
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What?
610
00:14:25,167 --> 00:14:26,267
What the hell are you doing?!
611
00:14:26,267 --> 00:14:27,600
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
612
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:28,967
Baby, what are you doing?
613
00:14:28,967 --> 00:14:30,400
Curtis, why do you have these
614
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:31,067
In your bag?
615
00:14:31,067 --> 00:14:32,367
Why were these in that grocery
616
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:32,700
Bag?
617
00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:33,167
Oh.
618
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:34,133
Condoms. Why?
619
00:14:34,133 --> 00:14:35,233
You better put them back,
620
00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:36,533
Because whoever they belong to
621
00:14:36,533 --> 00:14:37,600
Might be looking for them.
622
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,767
Someone like who, floyd?
623
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:41,400
Calvin, and why do you have
624
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,167
Condoms, huh?
625
00:14:42,167 --> 00:14:43,700
We don't even use them, so who
626
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:45,200
Are you using them with, huh?
627
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:45,700
Baby.
628
00:14:45,700 --> 00:14:47,067
These better be some really
629
00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:47,967
Fancy water balloons.
630
00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:48,967
Oh, this is all just a big
631
00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:49,600
Misunderstanding.
632
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,533
Let me tell you something.
633
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:51,467
You better not be using these.
634
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:52,500
I mean, if you're stepping out,
635
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,433
You better be using them, but
636
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:54,333
You better not be using them.
637
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:55,167
I'm not using condoms.
638
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:56,600
That's not very safe.
639
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,300
Ok, so, something is wrong
640
00:14:58,300 --> 00:14:59,633
With all the payne men.
641
00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:00,433
Is that it?
642
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:01,967
How could you? So these--
643
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,800
All these condoms don't belong
644
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:04,600
To anybody?
645
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,433
[all talking at once]
646
00:15:08,433 --> 00:15:10,067
Baby, ain't nobody having
647
00:15:10,067 --> 00:15:10,467
Sex!
648
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,800
You got that right.
649
00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,800
[all talking at once]
650
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,067
Look, you guys are blowing
651
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:18,067
This thing way out of
652
00:15:18,067 --> 00:15:18,667
Proportion.
653
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,100
You always talking about
654
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,333
You gonna ta-da-da-dup.
655
00:15:21,333 --> 00:15:22,667
If these are your condoms, I'm
656
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:24,267
Gonna ta your da dup.
657
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:26,200
Who do these belong to?
658
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,267
Hey, everybody, how's the
659
00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:30,200
Game?
660
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,567
He said he gonna
661
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,067
Ta-da-da-dup.
662
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,100
Going to school.
663
00:15:38,433 --> 00:15:40,500
So...
664
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:46,400
You got everything you need now?
665
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,167
For what?
666
00:15:47,167 --> 00:15:48,500
To complete your list.
667
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:50,200
My list was already complete.
668
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,867
It was you guys that kept trying
669
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:53,500
To pressure me into having sex,
670
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:54,633
And I mean--
671
00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:56,067
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
672
00:15:56,067 --> 00:15:57,467
Nobody was trying to pressure
673
00:15:57,467 --> 00:15:58,500
You into having sex.
674
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,333
It's just that, you know, young
675
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,667
People leave the nest.
676
00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,933
They have sex. You know?
677
00:16:03,933 --> 00:16:05,567
You're gonna go out there on
678
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:06,300
Your own.
679
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,800
One second.
680
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,500
[thump]
681
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:13,400
Aah!
682
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,833
It's just a part of life
683
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,133
That you have to prepare
684
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:17,267
Yourself for, you know?
685
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,567
We're not trying to pressure
686
00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:18,900
You.
687
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,267
Then why were you giving me
688
00:16:20,267 --> 00:16:20,900
The condoms?
689
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,267
I mean, everybody was trying to
690
00:16:22,267 --> 00:16:23,067
Give me condoms.
691
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,067
You know what?
692
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,200
Let me just tell you.
693
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:26,633
In my life, first time I left
694
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:28,100
Home, I was about your age.
695
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,500
Off to college for the first
696
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:29,900
Time.
697
00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:32,600
And me and 4 other guys had a
698
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,100
Crush on the same girl on
699
00:16:35,100 --> 00:16:36,067
Campus.
700
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,733
Everybody wanted to get with
701
00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:38,533
This girl.
702
00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:39,800
She was bad, right?
703
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,800
So--and I wanted her just as
704
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,833
Much as everybody else did, you
705
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:44,367
Know?
706
00:16:44,367 --> 00:16:45,900
But I thought about it, and I
707
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:47,333
Said, "You know, this isn't
708
00:16:47,333 --> 00:16:48,767
Really the proper decision."
709
00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:50,800
I found out that the girl was
710
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,100
Easy to get with.
711
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,967
So while my boys were running
712
00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:55,867
Around, bragging about how they
713
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:57,733
Had unprotected sex with this
714
00:16:57,733 --> 00:16:59,900
Girl, I was like, "Whoa. This
715
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:01,700
Ain't really my thing."
716
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,267
That takes courage, son.
717
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:04,900
It takes courage to be an
718
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,767
Individual.
719
00:17:05,767 --> 00:17:07,333
That's why we pray, you
720
00:17:07,333 --> 00:17:08,200
Understand?
721
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,500
That's why we have faith,
722
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:10,933
Because sometimes you got to
723
00:17:10,933 --> 00:17:12,433
Have the strength to step away
724
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:14,067
From the crowd and just be your
725
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,200
Own man.
726
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,633
And you know what happened?
727
00:17:16,633 --> 00:17:19,567
All 4 of my friends, they died.
728
00:17:19,567 --> 00:17:21,167
This girl wound up having
729
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:21,867
A.I.D.S.
730
00:17:21,867 --> 00:17:23,633
Now, tell me god wasn't looking
731
00:17:23,633 --> 00:17:24,833
Out for your old man.
732
00:17:24,833 --> 00:17:26,400
He was. I mean, I hope he's
733
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,967
Watching me, too, like, when I
734
00:17:27,967 --> 00:17:29,133
Go off to college, so--
735
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:30,067
He is.
736
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,867
But you got to know that.
737
00:17:31,867 --> 00:17:32,700
You understand?
738
00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:33,433
Yes, sir.
739
00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:35,067
Nobody's trying to pressure
740
00:17:35,067 --> 00:17:36,067
You to do anything.
741
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,867
We're gonna worry about you.
742
00:17:37,867 --> 00:17:39,667
We're gonna worry that every
743
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,400
Lesson that we gave you, you
744
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,067
Still have, and you're still
745
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:45,133
Out there making decisions based
746
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:47,067
On the foundation that you got
747
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,500
Throughout the rest of your
748
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:48,967
Life.
749
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:50,633
Even after college, when you're
750
00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:52,300
A grown man with a career and a
751
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,967
Family of your own, you're still
752
00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:55,500
Making decisions based on the
753
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,767
Lessons that you got here
754
00:17:57,767 --> 00:17:59,100
And in our house.
755
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,333
You understand?
756
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:01,300
Yes, sir.
757
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,467
Ok. Sex is not just physical.
758
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:04,300
It's emotional.
759
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,733
You can still catch stds even
760
00:18:05,733 --> 00:18:06,933
Though you have a condom.
761
00:18:06,933 --> 00:18:08,733
So you want to find somebody
762
00:18:08,733 --> 00:18:10,533
That's emotionally stable, you
763
00:18:10,533 --> 00:18:12,333
Know, somebody that's ready to
764
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,633
Deal with life.
765
00:18:13,633 --> 00:18:15,333
I'm hoping that you'll wait
766
00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,333
Until you're married, you know?
767
00:18:17,333 --> 00:18:19,133
That's the real thing to do.
768
00:18:19,133 --> 00:18:21,067
Do it, you know, like me and
769
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,067
Your mom did.
770
00:18:22,067 --> 00:18:24,667
But is that what you really
771
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:25,667
Did?
772
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,600
Uh, yeah. So we good?
773
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,367
Ok.
774
00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:30,400
Ha ha ha ha.
775
00:18:32,767 --> 00:18:34,600
C.J. Baby, did you talk to
776
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,967
Him about chlamydia?
777
00:18:35,967 --> 00:18:36,800
Good night, janine.
778
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,867
Ok, well, just before we go
779
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,067
To bed, I need to make sure that
780
00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:39,833
We get a chart together.
781
00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:40,767
If we get a chart and some
782
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:41,833
Pictures together, then he can
783
00:18:41,833 --> 00:18:42,700
See it and never want to
784
00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:43,300
Experience it.
785
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:44,133
You know what I mean?
786
00:18:44,133 --> 00:18:44,967
Good night, janine.
787
00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:45,967
Pictures really, really
788
00:18:45,967 --> 00:18:46,900
Helped me when I was in
789
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:47,467
High school.
790
00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:48,600
I remember they showed us this
791
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:49,200
Once picture.
792
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,067
It was just bad. Ew.
793
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:51,200
So when we talk to him, we have
794
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:52,067
To have this ready.
795
00:18:52,067 --> 00:18:52,967
Are you listening to me?
796
00:18:52,967 --> 00:18:55,100
Good night, janine.
797
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:56,933
You're not listening to me,
798
00:18:56,933 --> 00:18:57,600
Are you?
799
00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,067
No.
800
00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,333
Listen. There's gonorrhea,
801
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:00,600
There's chlamydia, there's
802
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,133
Syphilis.
803
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:02,433
Those are the 3 main ones we
804
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,433
Have to look out for.
805
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,067
[fake snoring]
806
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:04,967
So I've already--that's not
807
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:07,433
Funny, c.J.
808
00:19:07,433 --> 00:19:08,467
C.J.?
49035
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