Original subtitles

Good morning, Mr. Basset. This is your wake-up call.

Please move your ass.

Stampede!

Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

You dumb shit.

I was in a stampede once.

Three hundred head going hell-bent for the horizon.

Now, exactly how many cows are required for a stampede, Earl?

I mean, is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

I wish a stampede up your ass.

No breakfast?

I did it yesterday. It was bologna and beans.

No. It was eggs.

I did eggs, over easy.

The hell you did. Bologna and beans. It's your turn.

Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.

Oh, God damn it!

I ask you, is this a job for intelligent men?

Show me one. I'll ask him.

I mean, if we were real serious about money, we'd quit being hired hands...

Handymen, Earl. We are handymen.

Yeah, yeah. We should quit this job and find ourselves some real employment.

Are you gonna give up all this personal freedom?

I don't know.

Freeway!

So, what's on the agenda for today?

- It's garbage day. - Oh, man! Already?

Hey, what's Nestor paying us?

50 bucks. And that's 47 bucks more than we got.

Burt and Heather's place is closer.

Let's do their linoleum today and do the garbage tomorrow.

Nestor's not home tomorrow.

Now, look, we don't dig today, we don't get paid today.

Now, damn it, Valentine, you never plan ahead.

You never take the long view.

I mean, here it is Monday, and I'm already thinking of Wednesday.

It is Monday, right?

Hey, who the hell's that?

That's not what's-his-name, the grad student?

- No. He graduated. Must be the new one. - The new one?

That's supposed to be a girl.

You will have long, blonde hair,

big, green eyes, world-class breasts,

ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up!

Hi! I'm Rhonda. Rhonda LeBeck. I'm up here for the semester.

- Yeah, geography. - Geology.

Yeah, well, actually seismology. Earthquakes.

And you two must be Val and Earl.

- I've heard all about you. - We deny everything.

Hey, listen, I've got a question for you.

Do you know if anybody's doing any drilling or blasting

or anything like that?

Around here? No, ma'am.

Well, I'm supposed to monitor the seismographs.

You know, they measure vibrations.

Vibrations in the ground.

Yeah.

Well, I've been getting some really strange readings.

I mean, the school's had these machines up here for three years,

and we've never recorded anything like this.

Well, we'll ask around. You know, see if anyone's heard anything.

Thanks.

God, I hope they're not broken. I might have to bag the whole semester.

Anyway, sorry to bother you.

No problem.

Nice meeting you. Hope you get it all sorted out.

You know, if you wanted, we could take a look at those

seismographs for her if you want.

What the hell do we know about seismographs?

Nothing.

It sure might be a slick way to get to know her.

Why?

Damn it, Valentine.

You don't go for any gal unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.

- Well, sure! - Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end.

I mean, like that Bobby Lynn Dexter.

Tammy Lynn Baxter.

It don't matter. They're all the same, dead weight.

"Ooh! I broke a nail!"

Makes my skin crawl.

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

I thought you call it your pecker.

Hey, pizza face!

Melvin?

Melvin! You touch that truck and die.

Oh, man, I'm really shaking.

Thanks, Walter.

Look, these are hollow points, but they're not Hydrashok hollow points.

Excuse me, I thought bullets were bullets.

Hi, guys. What you been doing?

We ran into that new college student, that Rona.

Rhonda. Yeah, she's having trouble with her, uh,

uh, things.

You know, those college kids turn up oil or uranium or something out there.

Next thing the feds will be at our door. "Sorry. Time to move. Eminent domain. "

Down, honey. Down.

Yeah, Burt. The way you worry,

you'll have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive World War lll.

We'll see. We'll see.

Hey, guys, listen. Bearing going out.

- What do you think? - Could be.

Catch you later, Chang. We got a schedule to keep.

Oh, yeah. See, we plan ahead.

That way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Cocktail?

You bet.

Well, I'll tell you.

Nobody handles garbage better than we do.

Yep.

Oh, come on, Earl. Now this is low.

We have got to set our sights a little bit higher.

Hey, Melvin, why don't you give us a hand? Most of this shit is yours anyway.

Listen, run down to the store and pick me up a six-pack. I'll pay for it.

Son, beer is for adults.

You know, not having a plan is what keeps us doing jobs like this.

Just doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

Are you gonna stand there and tell me, in broad daylight,

that I'm the reason we're still in Perfection?

You know how close I am to leaving this place right now?

I'll call that little bluff. How close?

- Shit! - God damn!

Jesus Christ! God damn!

Don't forget the TV.

Hey, what's that vacuum cleaner for, man?

I like this vacuum cleaner.

- Hell, you never use it. - Well, it's good for parts.

And, besides, maybe we'll hire a maid. Now had you thought about that, Earl?

Get in the truck.

Guys!

Hey, guys, wait!

Hi.

Sorry, Nancy. We're not delivering firewood anymore.

- We're heading for Bixby permanent. - Oh, sure.

Oh, my God. You really are!

Hey, Mindy, what's the count?

Six hundred and forty.

Guys, look, I don't need firewood.

I have this big order to fill, and I have to build my new pottery kiln.

Come on, it'll be at least a month's work.

I'll throw in lunches.

And beer.

I can't believe we said no to free beer.

We did it! We did it! We faced temptation and did not bend!

God damn! Praise the Lord!

Now there's nothing, and I mean nothing, between us and Bixby but nothing!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Hey, look at that guy!

Oh, that's one job I'd never do. Working around electricity.

Hey, hold up.

That's Edgar Deems.

Come on.

No. He only wears that one damn jacket.

That's him, I'm telling you.

Man, oh, man, he sure must've been drunk this time.

Edgar, get your butt down from there!

Well, shit.

We can't leave him up there.

Thank you, Edgar.

You owe me on this one, you damned old boozehound.

One of these days, you're gonna have to get your ass on a wagon and stay there.

Jesus! It's not like I don't have better things to do

than to climb towers and drag your hairy ass down.

Jesus Christ!

Was it a heart attack, Doctor?

No.

He died of dehydration. Thirst.

Well, that doesn't make any sense. That takes a couple of days, doesn't it?

Maybe even three or four.

You mean he sat up there three or four days?

He sat up there and just died of thirst?

Hmm.

You reckon he hated Perfection more than us?

Do you suppose he wanted to kill himself?

Come on. Somebody must've chased him up there.

What, you mean someone who ain't scared of a Winchester rifle?

Then what'd they do?

Camp out down below and just wait for him to die?

What the hell?

What the shit?

Hey, Fred!

Hey, there, old Fred!

Hey, Fred!

Fred!

This is weird. This is real weird.

Jesus!

What the hell's going on?

I mean, what the hell is going on?

Everybody get the hell out of here! There's a killer on the loose!

- What? - A murderer, man! A real psycho!

He's cutting people's heads off.

I'm not kidding!

They're pulling our chain.

Yeah.

What?

Shit.

Howard! Howard!

Carmine?

Who could be doing it?

I'm not accusing anybody.

I'm just saying, some of my cattle are missing.

Are you serious? Old Fred's dead?

Dude, something like that.

Come on, you're bullshitting me, right, pal?

- What happened to Fred? - No worse than Edgar.

- What happened to Edgar? - You won't believe it.

Here, I need one of those candy bars.

I don't believe this. The phone is dead.

- Walter, your phone is dead! - I didn't do it.

Nestor, what's happening?

Somebody killed old Fred.

What should we do? - What's going on?

Now, look, Val, you gotta get to Bixby, and you gotta get the police up here.

And you gotta step on it.

Consider it stepped on.

Man, we decided to leave this place just one damn day too late, you know?

Well, there's sure as hell nothing to stop us now.

Everybody we know between here and Bixby is already dead.

Look out!

Is there some higher force at work here?

I mean, are we asking too much of life?

Where the hell are these guys?

What are they doing? Blasting?

Hey!

Where are you guys? It's not like there's another road, asshole!

Val! Val!

- Jesus! I don't believe this! - You're hung up.

I am not!

You're hung up, I tell you!

You're gonna burn the clutch!

You know, you could break an axle like that.

Could you shut up?

Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here.

Crybaby.

Could it have been coyotes? No way.

No. Coyotes didn't kill Fred.

Hey, it's Val and Earl.

They shouldn't be here already.

- Thought you two were in Bixby by now. - You are never gonna believe this.

- Mom! - Oh, my God!

Oh, Burt, be careful. Unreal.

- Where'd you get it? - I didn't know we had it.

- It's disgusting. - Some kind of snake?

Looks more like an eel to me.

Eels live in the water, don't they?

- Big mother slug, maybe. - Don't touch!

Relax. It's dead.

Hey, it must've grabbed us! That's why the truck stalled out.

Next time I tell you I'm not hung up...

Hey, wait. This stalled out your truck?

It'd have to be one strong son of a bitch.

Stinks, too.

I'll give you boys $5 for this.

$20.

- Okay, $10! - $15.

- Okay, $15. - Damn right, $15.

I don't believe you guys.

Could be a snake!

Some kind of mutation.

Yeah.

Whatever it is,

just one of these couldn't eat up Fred and his whole flock of sheep.

So you think there are more of them out there?

I'm dead. Let's put this stuff up in the morning.

No.

We have to go to Bixby in the morning.

- The cinder blocks are in. - Oh, the cinder blocks.

Oh, my God!

Just keep looking at that beautiful sky.

That's the sky that's gonna be over our roof every night when we're done.

What if we don't finish the roof?

Then we can look at the sky all the time. Huh?

Oh, that damn thing.

Maybe it's time we buy a new generator, huh?

It's gone!

What do you mean, it's gone?

You sure this is where it was?

It was right here! There's the cord.

Hold this.

Yeah, maybe the ground caved in. There's a lot of mines and stuff around here.

Well, don't then. You don't wanna fall in.

Let's go.

God, what is that stink?

You hear that?

Come on. Come on, let's just go.

Let's go back to town or something. Please, Jim!

Maybe it's a geological thing or something like natural gas or a geyser.

They stink like that.

Remember in Yellowstone?

- Jim! - Something's got me!

No, Jim, no!

Something's got me down here!

Oh, Jim!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

Get something! Get something! Get me out of here!

Jim!

Something's got me. Oh, God! Please get me out!

Help me!

Jim!

Oh, my God.

Mindy, smile.

Come on, honey. Don't look so afraid. It's not gonna hurt you. I promise.

Mindy, look up. Smile. - Come on.

Hold it.

Melvin, get out of there!

- Old Chang, slick as snot, and I ain't lying. -15 lousy bucks.

A man who plans ahead...

Look, we arm ourselves, we set perimeters, we stand guard.

Any of those snake things show up here, we make them extinct.

- All right! - Come on, Burt, get serious.

Yeah! You make it sound like a war.

What have you people got against being prepared?

- Where's the sugar? - Rambo.

Wait a minute. Walter's got a CB radio.

Why aren't you calling somebody in Bixby? The police...

No. We can't reach outside the valley because of the mountains.

Melvin, you're next. Come on. Sit down, look scared.

- Okay. Yeah.

The phone's out. The road's out. We're on our own.

You two are just loving it, aren't you?

Come on, Nancy. Let's don't get personal about this thing!

- We gotta do something. - Hell, yes!

We are completely cut off.

We got the cliffs to the north. Mountains to the east and the west.

That's why Heather and me settled here in the first place.

Geographic isolation.

Well, there's gotta be some way we can get help.

For God's sake, this isn't the moon!

What are you gonna do, walk the 38 miles to Bixby?

Hey, there's Walter's saddle horses.

That's it. You're welcome to them.

Somebody could ride to Bixby.

That's not bad. That's not bad.

Who's best on a horse?

Walter, they better be fast.

We don't wanna be stuck on a couple of canners.

Those snake things couldn't travel that fast.

Shit, for all you know, they could fly.

Here, what do you want? This colt or Edgar's old rifle?

Rifle.

Hey, Earl. Here's some Swiss cheese and some bullets.

Thanks, Walter.

- You guys all set? - Well, ready as we'll ever be.

Heather and I are gonna drive around.

We'll see if we can find that college girl, tell her to get her ass back into town.

Good idea. We'll swing by the doctor's place and see if they went into Bixby or not.

Hey, wait a minute, guys.

Y'all gonna have to take something that packs more of a punch than that 30-30.

Why don't you take one of our Browning Autos?

Or better than that, why don't you just take my Model 70?

It's. 375 H&H mag.

Thanks, Heather.

Well, I hope we don't need to use it.

It's got me!

- Melvin! Grow up!

Damn it, Melvin!

- He's only kidding. - You came that close.

Too close.

No more games.

Melvin, one of these days somebody's gonna kick your ass.

Doctor?

Man, I hate this shit.

Wait a minute.

The car's gone. We just missed them, that's all.

Where the hell's the goddamn golden oldie coming from?

- What the hell's this? - You got me.

Okay, here's the plan. We don't even stop. We ride like hell.

Tonight we'll keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.

That is the plan.

I mean, God damn, what the hell are those things?

And how could they bury a whole station wagon?

Why would they do it?

Come on, boy! Come on, git, git!

Walter wouldn't know a decent horse if it came up and bit him in the ass.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. They got wind of something they don't like.

Git.

Something's going on here.

I don't see anything anywhere!

- Hey! Hey, you okay? - Yeah, yeah. What about my horse?

What in the name of...

That's how they get you. They're under the goddamn ground.

- Well, what the hell are they? - Sons of bitches!

Must be a million of them!

Nope. Just one.

Come on.

He's gaining on us!

Look!

We can make it! We can make it!

Stupid son of a bitch.

It knocked itself cold.

Cold, my ass!

He's dead.

We killed it.

We killed it!

Fuck you!

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?

I mean, it just...

What's that?

All right, together. One, two, three.

Jesus Christ!

Does it smell like that 'cause it's dead?

I don't see any eyes.

Must be totally subterranean.

- And those tentacles. - Yeah.

You know, I think they shoot right out of its mouth,

and they hook you and pull you right in.

Good thing we stopped it before it killed anybody else.

Look, this is important, you know.

This is like...

Well, let's just say it.

This is probably the biggest zoological discovery of the century.

Hey! Hey, check this out.

I found the ass end.

Jesus, we really caught something here.

Wow! Man!

That's one big mother.

This must be the old boy had your seismos working overtime.

Yeah.

Yeah, it must push itself along with these.

All of them pushing at once.

That's why it moved so fast.

I mean, this thing had sensors tripping all over the place. No...

Hey, Rhonda, you ever heard of anything like this before?

Oh, sure, Earl. Everybody knows about them.

We just didn't tell you.

Oh, hell, man, no one ever saw anything like this!

We're really onto something here.

I'll tell you one damn thing,

old Chang don't get his slick mitts on this for no measly 15 bucks.

You got that right.

All right, here's the plan. We need a flatbed.

- Yeah, right, with a winch. - Yeah, five-ton maybe.

No, no, no, don't wanna winch it. Don't wanna winch it. It'd tear it all up.

- All right, a crane? - Yeah, a crane with lifting straps.

Hey. Hey, shut up.

The way I figure it, there are three more of these things.

What?

Three more?

I've got seismographs all over this valley. Now if you compare the different readings.

Here's one at 2:00 yesterday.

But here's one three miles away at the exact same time. Now that's two.

- But here... - Yeah, yeah. We'll take your word for it.

- Yeah, where's your truck? - Just beyond that hill.

What? What?

- Damn prairie dog burrow. - Little sons of bitches.

Psst! Psst!

This way!

Up on that rock!

Looks like the one that grabbed our truck.

- Where the hell's your truck? - It's right over there.

Oh, man, I don't think we can make that.

At least he can't climb.

Oh, man!

Live ones smell worse than the dead ones.

Phew!

I got it. I got it.

They're mutations caused by radiation.

Or no, no, no.

The government built them. Big surprise for the Russians.

Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record. I'm sure.

Okay, so they predate the fossil record.

That would make them a couple billion years old.

And we've just never seen one till now.

Right.

I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.

Well, haven't seen a sign for hours.

- Must be long gone. - Yeah, must be.

Hey, why don't you take a little stroll and find out?

We gotta do something.

"We gotta do something. "

I don't know why "we" always has to be "me" every damn time.

We, we, we. What do I look like? An expert on worms?

Watch it, Valentine, it's got a good six-foot reach.

Thank you, Earl.

Son of a bitch!

Son of a goddamn bitch!

Pardon my French.

Shit! It's been waiting here all this time?

I mean, how's it know we're still here?

Well, it's got no eyes, right? Sure as hell can't smell us underground.

I say it's been listening.

Of course!

It senses seismic vibration.

It can hear every move we make,

especially on this rock, it's a perfect conductor.

That means we're stuck. That pisses me off!

Well, I hate to be crude, but I gotta take care of some business.

Me, too. Same here.

Thanks.

No problem. Anytime.

Well, what's the plan?

I think the first thing we gotta do is see if old stumpy's still out there.

- Can I borrow that shovel? - Yeah.

Doesn't he have a home to go to?

That's why Edgar never got down off that damn tower.

- I think I have an idea. - You know,

we're gonna have to come up with some sort of plan,

he's just gonna wait us to death.

- Yeah, well, I was... - Why don't we just make a run for it?

We outran him yesterday.

Run for it? Running's not a plan.

Now running's what you do when a plan fails.

Valentine, you're not even trying to think of a plan.

Well, it ain't like we got a hell of a lot of options.

There's always options. We just gotta think of them, that's all.

All right, well, why don't you start thinking?

Why in the hell do I always have to do all the thinking?

- Who died and made you Einstein? - You guys know how to pole vault?

We just stay where he can't get us,

on these residual boulders.

My truck's parked right next to one.

Stay on those residual boulders!

That Tammy Lynn Baxter, she do much pole vaulting?

Shit!

That's pretty good.

That slimebag ain't gonna give us much time once we hit that truck.

- I say we all jump together. - Right.

Wait.

Okay, ready.

One, two, three!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Watch it, Val!

Move! Move!

Could somebody, perhaps, help me?

Burt! Heather! - No! No! No!

The snake things are just their tongues or something.

These animals are huge!

I'm sorry. I'm having a real difficult time with this.

Come on, you guys, answer.

- Come back. - Hey, Walter.

- Where's Burt and Heather? - I can't reach them.

I guess they're still driving around somewhere.

Hey, Rhonda, what's the name you call those things?

- Where do they come from? - Huh?

- I don't know. - You're a scientist, aren't you?

Yeah, aren't you supposed to have a theory or something?

Look, these creatures are absolutely unprecedented.

Yeah. But where do they come from?

Yeah!

It doesn't matter where they come from.

No name? Ha!

We discovered them, we should name them!

Walter, forget the damn name!

Now me and Earl think we better get the hell out of this valley.

Hang on, Val. Let's not go off half-cocked.

Yeah. Well, somebody's bound to come check on us,

once they see the road is out and the lines are down.

Yeah, that's how it works.

- Or "suckoids. " "Oids. " - Oids. I like snakeoids.

One of them comes near me, and I'll just hit him with a five-pound pickax.

No. You don't understand, Nestor.

They come up from underneath the ground and they grab you.

They sense the slightest vibration through the ground.

Even footsteps. That's how they hunt.

Hey, so like we don't vibrate, right?

Maybe they won't even come through here.

Maybe they'll leave us alone!

Chain saw. That's what I'll use.

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Wake up!

Now, look!

You see, they're headed right for us.

Look, they trapped Edgar here. Grabbed old Fred right here.

Nailed those two poor suckers on the road, and the doctor's place is right here!

Now this valley is just one long smorgasbord.

We have got to get out.

I'm gonna go get Mindy.

Oh, she's okay. I saw her playing down the street.

That's what I like, "Graboids"! That's it, graboids!

Jesus, Walter.

We're gonna be sorry if we don't give it a name.

Okay, Val, you say let's get out of here.

So where are we supposed to go?

Well, Rhonda's got an idea about that.

Yeah, see, they move very easily through the Pleistocene alluvials.

The dirt.

The loose soil that covers the valley floor.

But they can't move through rock.

So I think we should head west to the mountains.

She means up the old jeep trail.

If those mountains are solid granite, we'd be safe there.

And we could hike along them all the way to Bixby if we...

I scared you, didn't I?

You little ass wipe.

You don't knock it off, you're gonna be shitting this basketball.

Pardon my French.

Mindy!

It's gonna take us days to get back with help with Nestor.

We're not gonna leave you alone.

- Damn it! I'm gonna kick his ass! - I'm gonna help you.

Melvin!

Where is that little shit stain?

Melvin, get your...

Get inside! Get inside!

- Run! Come on! - Come on, get in!