Original subtitles

[Tarzan-like call] Aaa-ooow!

Oof!

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree!

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Lives a life that's free

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape

♪ With help from his friend, an ape named Ape

♪ And his elephant Shep can fetch a log

♪ He's man's best friend, he's George's dog

♪ He's George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Swing from tree to tree

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Lives a life that's free

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ Now, George was king and a daddy too

♪ It was just too much for poor George to do

♪ Though George loved Ursula with all his heart

♪ Her momma's evil plots broke them apart

♪ There was lying and beating and stealing and cheating

♪ But their true love just can't be beaten

♪ So then his kiss can un-hypnotise

♪ Now George is the king from nine to five

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Friend to you and me

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ Hear him holler, swing and sing

♪ All the animals come to the jungle king

♪ So grab a vine and swing in time

♪ If you smack a tree just pay no mind

♪ Like George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ Watch out for that... tree

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Watch out for that tree ♪

The jungle.

To the untrained eye,

it looks the same as in our first movie.

But things have changed.

It's not just because we're using a different set.

Domestic bliss has broken out over the Bukuvu.

Parenthood has found that defender of the innocent,

protector of the weak and all-around good guy,

George of the Jungle.

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Watch out for that tree ♪

And as our story begins,

our popular potent potentate

has produced a prince.

Huh? Wait a minute.

Who the heck are you?

Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser.

Let's go, Dad.

How did you get the part?

New George just lucky, I guess.

Hey, Dad, check it out. Let's play fetch with Shep.

[Shep barking]

- Shep! - [barking]

Here we go, boy! Fetch! [grunts]

Fetch the stick! Fetch the stick, Shep. Come on, Shep.

Now that the prince is turning five,

George is grooming his son to be the heir to the throne.

Aha!

George, that's grooming him to be heir,

not grooming his hair.

- Oh. - Oh, yeah!

While George was preparing his son,

Ursula, the love of his life

and the heiress who gave up everything to be his queen,

was wondering why George wasn't home for lunch.

Why isn't George home for lunch?

But George couldn't go home for lunch

because he had to attend to a very important matter.

George pretty good at coconut ball.

[lively music]

[shrieks]

Hit me!

Whoa-oh-oh!

But suddenly the game was interrupted

- by an urgent bongo-gram. - [snoring]

I said an urgent bongo-gram!

Uh-oh.

George really late for lunch.

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that... tree ♪

Sorry George late,

but George had important royal duty to tend to.

In other words, you were playing coconut ball.

And George score winning goal.

Maybe Ursula come and try out for cheerleader.

I tried once but the gorillas turned me down

because I wasn't pretty enough.

You look pretty to me.

Maybe you should tell that to the gorillas.

George promise tonight

spend whole night with Ursula. OK?

OK.

Can George give Junior vine-swinging lesson?

Vine-swinging's a little dangerous.

Must be from your side of the family.

Vine-surfing is much cooler.

What dangerous about swinging?

Swinging fun. George show you.

Honey, maybe that's not such a good idea.

Why? It easy.

George, watch out for that...

Yes, fans, for the first time in history,

George of the Jungle didn't hit the tree he was aiming at.

But that didn't stop him from hitting...

the second tree.

Ow.

In case you were worried,

the new George takes a tree

as well as Brendan Fraser.

- Mm-hm. - Ooh!

Whoa!

While George was sliding down the tree,

Ape has been in Las Vegas

becoming a swinger of a different sort.

But while pursuing his singing career,

the lure of the cards has proven too much

for our travelling troubadour.

♪ You gotta learn to play it right

♪ You gotta know when to hold 'em

[groans]

- ♪ Know when to fold 'em... - If you wouldn't mind,

could you stop singing?

Sorry.

Cut the cards.

Welcome to Las Vegas, baby.

And they say humans are more evolved.

Meanwhile back in the jungle,

George was taking care of some serious jungle business.

George, the sink's stuffed again.

Well, kind of serious.

Don't worry. George fix.

[both laugh]

OK.

Huh!

Hey!

Come here.

[hissing and grunting]

Oh!

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie!

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie!

George, you better answer the bird.

Oh.

Hello.

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

Animals in big fight.

George know he promise Ursula he see her tonight.

OK if George go to help animals?

Um, if George can come home early,

would Ursula still go out with George?

Mm-hm.

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Watch out for that... tree ♪

[animals screeching]

Stop the movie.

Now, that's how animals usually sound, right?

Well, in our movie the animals are all going to talk

so you humans don't miss a thing.

[animals chattering]

Anyone know how to fix sink?

And for the convenience of you animals,

we've added subtitles so you can follow along too.

George, this is all their fault.

The birds keep dropping their zug-zug on us.

Incoming.

It's disgusting. I gotta wear a hat.

Why not make zug-zug treaty?

Zug-zug treaty?

Yes, zug-zug treaty. This is Disney.

If we're gonna do a zug-zug joke,

we're gonna make it educational.

- Huh? - We make treaty

and get everyone go zug-zug in separate areas.

Well, that's a good idea.

Now you can stay to play coconut ball.

- George can't stay. - And why not, George?

George have romantic evening planned with Ursula.

When lions ruled the jungle we never neglected our subjects.

Why are you neglecting us?

- George in love. - You've gotta be kidding me.

[animals jeer]

Run home to your family.

Never trust anyone without fangs.

Ha-ha-ha!

George didn't impress his bachelor pals,

but he did manage to impress his wife.

George lucky man.

He's got Ursula and Junior...

and really strong head.

Honey, I wouldn't worry about Junior swinging.

He's the son of the greatest swinger of all time.

How could he not learn how to swing?

That make George happy.

Sorry about sink.

It's not your fault.

It's just the way things are sometimes.

Sure Ursula like being here with George?

How can you say that?

Then Ursula think things be OK, right?

Cos George rather not be king than lose Ursula.

Oh, don't be silly. Everything's fine.

George hope so, cos George love Ursula more than stars in sky.

And George have special surprise to cheer Ursula up.

[Ursula] Oh!

[lively music]

Ursula, dance with George.

[man sings to African-style beat]

George and Ursula were in love.

Little did they know that someone was fast approaching

who was going to change their lives for ever.

Someone so malevolent, so Machiavellian, so...

Well, for you kids, let's just say really, really mean.

Stay still. I don't want to fall off.

Yes, it was Beatrice Stanhope, Ursula's mother.

- [phone rings] - [man grunts]

Hello?

It is the man who would be your son-in-law.

Yes, that's Ursula's foppish former fiancé,

Lyle Van de Groot.

You remember the graceful Van de Groot from the first movie.

Urgh!

Was it really necessary to show that scene?

[chuckles]

It seems the vengeful, venal Van de Groot

had bought the casino Ape was gambling in.

Lyle had finally come up with the perfect plan

to destroy George by stealing the deed to Ape Mountain.

Are you sure Ape has the deed?

[Lyle] It is, after all, called Ape Mountain.

And as soon as I have cheated the ape out of the deed

and driven that halfwit George off of his land,

bulldozers roll, driving Ursula right back into my arms.

When they see the gifts I've brought,

they'll miss civilisation so much

they'll be begging me to take them back.

Ngoja naenda cyafa.

- Uh? - I gotta go.

- What did he say? - He said hold on.

- I'm going to... - Ugh!

[groans] I've had it!

Ohh!

Are you sure we're going in the right direction?

Why, yes. We remember from the first movie.

It's very important that I get to Ape Mountain today.

It's my grandson's fifth birthday.

I'm taking him and his mother back to civilisation.

Aca tumuingize sanduku.

What did he say?

He was admiring your luggage.

Oh, well, whatever.

He wondered why you'd take your grandson out of the jungle.

I'm not having him grow up here an illiterate savage.

Wajinga awa.

Unaweza kuamini huyu mjinga?

Acha tumrushe poromokoni.

Miye peke nitamsukuma!

[all laugh]

Someone help! Put me down!

Aaaargh!

Sorry, we can't kill Beatrice.

If she dies, we have no story.

And if we have no story,

George couldn't disappoint his wife again

by being late for his own son's birthday party.

I wonder what's keeping your father.

Guess we may as well get started.

Now, remember, sweetie,

you can wish for anything you want.

Except your grandmother, because she's already here.

- Grandma! - Grrr!

- Mother! - Darling.

Hello, Junior.

Where's that husband of yours?

Shouldn't he be at his own son's birthday party?

Uh... he's running late.

How could he possibly be running late?

This is the jungle. Traffic on the Bukuvu Expressway?!

Aaa-ooow!

- Ow! - Dad!

[George] Whoo!

George so sorry he's late,

but zug-zug treaty broke down and George had to step in.

[sniffs] Eugh!

- Ugh! - Pee-euw!

[sighs]

Hello, old Mrs Ursula.

Ohh!

Ever resourceful, Beatrice cunningly connived

to tempt Ursula and Junior back home,

using a ploy that has worked for grandparents

since the beginning of time.

I have gifts for you!

Whoa!

Mother, you shouldn't have.

George also make present.

Cool. Thanks, Dad.

Whoa! Cool! A spear!

- That's nice. - Yeah.

How would you like to play with this?

- [squawk] - Oh!

- Oh! - Wow!

[sniffs]

Arf! Arf! Arf!

[laughs] You just flip the switch

and it can do anything you want.

That not look so hard. Hm.

[Beatrice] Oh!

[trickling]

- [Beatrice] Urgh! - Ha-ha-ha!

Beatrice quickly put in motion her gift-giving gambit

to get Ursula to come home.

Meanwhile, George was demonstrating

why he was no William Tell.

And neither was his aimless son.

Stay there. Stay there. OK.

There we go. Good. OK.

OK. There. Aim. Good. Good.

See gorilla?

OK, OK, OK. Now throw.

Throw. Throw.

Good. Good.

But a coconut to the cranium wasn't enough

to mollify the muddled mind of our hero.

And George continued to be torn

by the conflict between home and throne.

Come on. Come on, George.

You have to come supervise the oo-oo feather picking.

Sorry, George can't.

Promise Ursula he stay home.

But no king has ever missed oo-oo feather picking.

At least not when lions ruled.

[sighs]

[lion] Face it. He doesn't care about us any more.

George?

Old Mrs Ursula.

Come talk.

George, do you love your wife and your son?

George love Ursula and Junior very much.

- Hm. - And George sorry George late

for Junior's birthday party.

I understand perfectly.

You don't have enough time for your subjects or your family,

which is why you could see

how much happier Ursula and Junior would be

if they came back to San Francisco.

Ursula's lonely.

She misses her friends,

and someplace to wear those lovely dresses.

And Junior needs to live in civilisation

and go to school with other children.

What you think George should do?

George should let them go.

As much as she tried to resist,

the once-opulent Ursula was tempted

by the bounty of bangles and baubles.

Feeling dazed and confused,

or more dazed and confused than normal,

George sought professional help.

Me-kee kuyo ka.

Hm. Tookie-tookie.

[speaks in tookie-tookie bird language]

Aah-aah ee-ee tookie-tookie!

George know Tookie trying,

but need talk to brother Ape.

Maybe Tookie fly to get brother Ape?

Aka eek eek tookie-tookie.

Uh-uh.

Then George just talk more.

Tookie-tookie!

While Tookie was winging his way to Las Vegas...

I said Las Vegas!

..Ape found himself with problems of his own.

♪ If you're gonna play the game, boy

♪ You gotta learn to play it right

♪ You gotta know when to hold 'em

- ♪ Know when to fold 'em... - Aaargh! Don't sing!

I've had more pleasure listening to alligators singing

than you, you filthy bum!

While Ape was busy strangling his pestering poker partner,

Tookie's tuckered mind began to wander.

Tookie-tookie...

Another mimosa, Mr Tookie-Tookie?

- Tookie-tookie. - Oh, Tookie, you cad!

As our jungle jet-setter flew to visit his primate pal,

Ursula confronted the conniving Beatrice

for befuddling her handsome hubby.

Good morning, Mother. I'd appreciate it

if you wouldn't play with George's mind.

There really isn't much to play with, but all right.

Ursula, I know you're unhappy here.

You might fool yourself, but you can't fool your mother.

I'll admit there are certain things I miss about home,

but I love George and I am staying here,

so deal with it, OK?

Hello?

Ursula's definitely weakening.

If I can just get her back to civilisation and to you...

If you've got your obsession with her under control.

Of course I have it under control.

Obsession... a strong word.

Have you gotten the deed from the ape yet?

No, but I'll have it tonight.

And when I do, bulldozers will roll.

Roll!

I have a foolproof plan.

And he did.

Because in a remarkable demonstration

of despicable dishonesty,

Lyle had entered the poker game.

See if you can figure out which one he is.

Whoa!

You foolish fowl. What are you doing here?

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

You say George is suffering psychological damage

due to his unresolved conflict over whether Ursula's happy

and whether he's a good husband and king,

and these conflicts are keeping him up nights

and he's in need of my immediate advice and counsel?

- Tookie-tookie. - In a moment.

I'm sitting on a great hand here.

Yes, the gambling bug had bit our normally guarded gorilla.

I'll take three. Maybe my luck will change.

But luck wasn't in the cards for our poker-playing primate.

Because as the game progressed,

there was a strange sense in the room

that Ape was about to be cheated out of the deed.

[hums]

Uh-oh.

- [Ape] Hm? - Oops.

I'd like to stay in, but I have nothing left to bet. I'm broke.

Maybe you have something of value.

Stocks, bonds, real estate... in Africa?

I'm afraid not.

Don't you own uh... Oh, what's it called?

- Ape Mountain? - That's a common misnomer.

The deed belongs to the king of the jungle,

George of the Jungle. Perhaps you've heard of him.

Vaguely.

So, what are you holding, Nostril-damus?

Uh, just four queens.

Well, I'm holding four Lyles.

But don't you worry your pretty little hairy head about it.

You can work off the debt performing in my nightclub...

for the next 17 years.

- [gasps] - [evil laugh]

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

Hee-hee-hee!

What?

- [phone rings] - Hello?

It turns out the big ape didn't have the deed.

How could Ape not own Ape Mountain?

That's like saying the Rockefellers

don't own Rockefeller Center.

They don't!

Oh.

It turns out your idiot son-in-law has it.

- Ohh! - But where does he keep it?

Let me ask him.

George, where do you keep the deed to Ape Mountain?

George hide in butt flap.

- [crash] - Enchanting.

He keeps it in his underwear.

Now, how do we get him and his underwear back here

so I can take it?

Tookie!

[pants] Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

Ape can't come talk to George because broke?

In big trouble?

George must go Vegas to help.

Thrilled that George was leaving,

Beatrice beamed like a Cheshire cat.

Shh! George is coming. What's he doing with all that luggage?

[buffalo] Hey, he's leaving.

It's comments like that which justify why I eat you.

[buffalo] Now I know why they call you Really Mean Lion.

Oh, yeah.

Last time he left, the jungle nearly fell apart.

[lion] It's so obvious.

George only wants to be with his own kind now.

But don't worry.

I'll take care of you. [evil laugh]

Unaware of the threat both home and abroad,

George and his extended jungle family

took off on their first trip.

- Look! Look! - Ooh! Las Vegas!

Anxious to speak to his bankrupt brethren Ape,

but not wanting to stand out like a simian from the sticks,

George made a stop.

New George look pretty good in Armani too.

Aaa-aaa-aaah!

Farklempt at finally finding each other again,

George and his brother Ape had a big emotional reunion.

- Hi. - Hello.

Oh, come on. You can do better than that.

Oh, George! Oh, please!

Let it off! You...

George so happy to see brother Ape.

I'm happy to see you too. What are you doing here?

George here to help.

Tookie say Ape in trouble.

Broke. Busted. No Benjamins.

Broke? It's all a big misunderstanding.

I'm perfectly fine.

That's... why I'm giving away all my furniture.

George happy Ape perfectly fine.

Only wish George perfectly fine.

What's the matter?

Ursula think George spend too much time with animals.

Animals think George spend too much time with Ursula.

George so upset, think about taking off neck crown.

I understand your concern. And if I return... Or...

When I return, I will coordinate your schedule

to the satisfaction of all. It's a question of balance.

George good at balance.

Waaargh!

George still worried about Ursula.

She's lonely and worried she not cook as well as Ape.

Well, she might have a point there.

Now George concerned that

Ursula miss civilisation more than she miss George.

Don't be ridiculous. Ursula adores you.

She's probably just suffering from the five-year itch.

- Then what George do? - Do what any husband would do.

Get her a nice present to help scratch it.

A back-scratcher.

To help with itch.

As the jungle king demonstrated the many uses of his gift,

his arch- animal enemy was back in the jungle

trying to take over his throne.

George of the Jungle has deserted you.

But if you elect me your king,

I promise to make every Tuesday "Meatless Tuesday".

But if you don't make me your king...

Oh, I'm scared!

..you have no idea what a mean lion I can really be.

As the Mean Lion schemed against him,

his perfidious plotters in Las Vegas

put the finishing touches on their perspicacious plan.

[screeching]

Better turn off the alarm.

The witch says the muscle man has the deed in his underwear.

That's disgusting.

Yeah, but at least it'll be easy to find.

Huh. These look familiar.

Obviously he was planning to stay for a while.

You would think at some point Ursula would recommend

a zebra pattern.

Unaware of the deadly denizens determined to destroy him...

Well, that's a change of pace.

..our accidental tourist took his family backstage

at Circus Circus.

As George gleefully greeted his performing pals,

Ursula wondered if she'd ever come first.

George, this is Rocky. He's very honoured to meet you.

- Ah. - Why do they call him Rocky?

Because when he gets nervous, he does that.

George honoured to meet Rocky too.

[grunts excitedly]

He says he was born in a cage,

but he wants to return home with you

and learn to become a real jungle kangaroo.

Cage is not good for animals.

George, kangaroos live in Australia.

We can't bring Rocky back to the Bukuvu.

- Tell him we're really sorry. - [grunts]

Don't worry, George, he won't bother you again.

While our simple simian was being stalked

by a star-struck kangaroo,

Lyle and the women were still searching

our simple simian's shorts.

What now? It'll take years to go through the rest of these.

And it would have too, had the precise, practical Ursula

not labelled them.

Oo-oo feathers.

[grunts] Hyena burger.

Wait a second.

Deed!

Lyle immediately dispatched

one of his dastardly disciples to the jungle,

who eagerly enjoyed evicting the animals.

In every other story,

the king of the jungle is a lion, not a human.

And so, as is my birthright,

I now declare myself

king of the jungle!

This is really bad.

Tuesdays are still meatless, right?

You can't be king without the royal amulet.

Then I'll just have to get it back, won't I?

We need George. Where's George?

George's animal friends were worried.

While back in Las Vegas, Lyle celebrated getting the deed

in a typically mature fashion.

♪ I have the deed I have the deed

♪ This is the deed I have

♪ I have the deed...

Getting the deed doesn't mean anything

unless you get Ursula to fall in love with you.

- Are you prepared for tonight? - I'm prepared.

And so was Ape, because they had all come to see

the swinging sartorial songster perform.

Eat! Eat!

[laughter]

Now, when I count to three,

you will awaken and feel refreshed

and remember nothing.

One. Two. Three.

Ooh. Ooh.

[applause]

Ice cream?

But I'm lactose intolerant!

Oops. Sorry.

Remember, I am Armando,

and I can hypnotise anyone to do anything.

Good night.

[announcer] The Conrad Jupiter's hotel and casino

is proud to present the selected song stylings

of the one and only Ape!

♪ Here he comes

♪ Walking down the street

♪ He gets the funniest looks from

♪ Everyone he meets

♪ Hey, hey, I'm a monkey

♪ And people say I monkey around

♪ Well, I'm too busy singing

♪ To put anybody down

♪ I'm just trying to be friendly

♪ Come and watch me sing and play

♪ I'm the young generation

♪ And I've got something to say

♪ Hey, hey, I'm the monkey

♪ Hey, hey, I'm a monkey

♪ Hey, hey, I'm a monkey

♪ Hey, hey, I'm the monkey

Yeah! Hey!

Yeah!

♪ Hey, hey, I'm a monkey ♪

Yeah!

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Girls.

Ooh! Ooh!

Ape will be back in a few minutes

with his tribute to Tony Orlando.

It's from the gentleman over there.

Lyle.

Beatrice, you're looking lovely.

Ursula, what a small world.

You remember my son-in-law George?

I do. George.

Clearly the best man won.

But no hard feelings. Shake.

[Ursula] What are you doing here?

Last time we saw you, you tried to have George killed,

Ape captured, and dragged me off to marry you.

That actually wasn't me, kitten.

That was the altitude sickness.

And it just so happens I have my doctor here, Dr Kerner.

It is my opinion that Lyle was not responsible for his actions

due to the lack of oxygen in the Bukuvu Mountains.

You knew I was gonna be here?

You're fired.

I didn't know that you were gonna be here.

I happened to run into the Lords Of Oompah

practising your favourite song, "I Want To Know What Love Is".

[man] Eins, zwei, drei, vier...

What's that?

[lively tune]

Wait a minute!

That not Ursula's favourite song.

This Ursula's favourite song.

One banana, two banana...

[♪ George Of The Jungle]

No!

- We're dead meat. - I thought I'd made progress.

That ape has more chance of running off with her than you.

He does? What have you heard?

I think it's time we brought in some reinforcements.

[♪ Charlie's Angels theme]

Here's your towels, angels.

Thanks, Charlie.

Hey, don't hog the Choco-Blast.

I'll give you the Choco-Blast

if Courtney gives up the Funky Monkey.

I'd have thought you'd seen enough funky monkeys!

God, I've missed you guys.

And we've missed you.

Speaking of things you've missed,

you know who's looking amazing?

- Lyle. - You're right. He's a catch.

He's charming, rich, sensitive...

And is equally at home with small animals and children.

- Are you reading that? - Oop.

I can't believe my mother flew you here

just to tell me about Lyle.

Your mother didn't send us here. We're worried about you.

Yeah. A fling, any of us could understand.

And would gladly have traded places with you for.

Yeah!

We're just concerned you're gonna change.

Come on. I haven't changed a bit.

[sonic whistle]

I can't believe I just did that.

- I guess I have changed. - [coughing]

You belong back here.

Soon your whole identity will be swallowed up by George,

and the Ursula we know and love is gonna disappear.

You deserve a husband who'd rather spend time with you

than a gorilla.

But I love George.

Doesn't mean he's right for you.

You and Lyle have so much more in common.

Tiffany's right.

You should be with someone who's refined, polished.

Someone who cares about your feelings.

George doesn't know how to make you happy.

Look, you arrive, and what's this great present he gets you?

A back-scratcher.

And where did he take you your first day back in civilisation?

Backstage at Circus Circus.

Can you believe his lack of feeling?

You've been in the jungle isolated from all your friends,

hungry for some sort of human companionship,

and he brings you to an animal show.

How selfish. This man doesn't love you, darling.

He hardly knows you.

It'll be so wonderful when you're finally home.

The opera opens next month.

Oh, and we can go to the Canyon Ranch

- to have a total makeover. - Oh, yeah!

And then there's that wonderful charity cruise

for some kind of poor people.

[chatter continues]

- Wait a second. - What?

I am the luckiest woman in the whole world.

So he isn't the greatest retail shopper.

I have a man I love and a child I adore,

and he gives me what all of you pray for.

[sighs]

I want my George.

Aaa-aaa-aaah!

- What do we do now? - I don't know.

Well, look to your left.

[clears throat]

Ta-da!

I think I have an idea.

Yes, in a brilliantly desperate attempt

to bring Ursula and Lyle together,

our masterminding major-domo mother-in-law

has hired Armando to hypnotise Ursula into forgetting George.

When you awaken, the name George of the Jungle

will forever be stricken from your memory.

Hey. Sorry I'm late.

A fat lady in a wheelchair was in the handicap spot.

His face will be blank.

You will not recognise him.

He will mean absolutely nothing to you.

Oh, yes. Ursula, your husband is Lyle Van de Groot.

One. Two. Three.

Pumpkin.

It took two movies and a crooked hypnotist,

but the lecherous Lyle Van de Groot

had finally gotten his wish.

Ursula was, in a manner of speaking, his wife.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Turn the phone around, you idiot.

This George. George looking for Ursula.

Oh, she's here with Junior.

She doesn't love you any more. She's left you for Lyle.

Ursula leave George?

Yes. She's with Lyle now.

But George want to tell her that George stop being king

if Ursula take him back.

Sorry, it's too late.

You should have thought of that when you had no time for her.

The people she misses are here.

She lives here now.

Face it, George,

your experiment with having a family has been a failure.

You're not fit to be a husband or a father.

Go back to the animals where you belong.

Eee!

Junior.

[George kisses Junior]

Goodbye, Ursula.

Junior.

Aaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaah!

Come on, dear. We don't wanna miss our flight.

Everything's so foggy. Lyle's my husband?

Yes, darling. You've just been under a lot of stress lately.

- Hold your father's hand. - You're not my father.

Not polite kick Daddy.

Having heedlessly hewn our hero's heavy heart

into hittle hieces... I mean, little pieces,

the vengeful Van de Groot

tried to impress his pilfered princess Ursula

with a dazzling display of animal magnetism.

Come here.

See, honey? Horses are my friend. Kind of.

Maybe friend's too strong. They're my acquaintances.

Are you sure Lyle's my husband?

See, honey? Horses love me.

Come here.

Horses love me!

Horses love me!

You guys ready to go for a ride?

How did you ever let me marry that guy?

While the two of them tried to figure out

why Ursula was married to an idiot,

Lyle's bulldozers were arriving

to clear the animals out of the Bukuvu.

Locked up by the Mean Lion

to keep him from contacting his former king,

the tactile Tookie-Tookie

had been carefully plotting his escape.

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

[barks]

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

[screeches]

[trumpets and barks]

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

George can't take living without Ursula.

So George going to get her back.

[Ape] Hm.

- Tookie! - Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

Mean Lion crown himself king? Animals kicked off land?

Need George to save animals? Have two days to get there?

Ape! We have to go back right away.

George, I should have told you earlier,

but I have some gambling debts

that I have to work off for a little while.

- How little? - Uh... 17 years.

George think maybe that might be too late.

Ape can take out loan from Bukuvu Credit Union.

George, these aren't nice people.

George won't go without brother Ape.

[grunts]

Future of jungle and George depends on it.

- Hmm. - Hm?

- All right, George. - Yeah!

Yes, yes. Mm-hm. Yes.

But first, must get wife and son who don't want me

and amulet to lead troops.

The question is how to get the two of us

up to San Francisco.

- [groans] - Better make that three of us.

[squeals with delight]

Come on! Come on! Jungle boogie. Go, go, go.

Going somewhere?

Who are you? Xena, Princess of Vegas?

We'll see how funny you are when you're stuck in our cage

at the Van de Groot zoo.

In case you've forgotten,

you still owe us 17 years of employment.

- Get moving. - Run!

Rocky, get hopping.

- Come on. - Let's get 'em!

- Excuse me. - George sorry.

Thank you. Excuse me.

- Out of the way! - Move!

Whoa!

- Nice. - Huh.

Look out!

Quick, George.

Out of the way. Let's go.

Watch out, George!

- Yeah. - That way.

I'll get backup.

Ugh!

Oh. Quick! Quick!

Aaa-aaa-aaah!

Ohh!

- Uh-oh. - Watch out for that...

[all groan]

Hey, you! Stop!

Call the police. And animal control.

- What now, Ape? - Oh, dear.

[police officer] Back away from the edge of the building.

This way.

- Come on, guys. Up here. - There they are.

Don't move.

You're surrounded. You have no choice but to surrender.

We're sending a man down to cut off any escape.

I'm sorry, old chum. We did everything we could.

Ah! George have idea!

- Uhh. - Just do like George.

- Hold it right there. - Come on.

Ape, jump! Come on! Go!

George, I've been away from the jungle a very long time!

- George catch you. - Hmm.

Don't make any sudden moves.

Now, don't you think that's beneath us?

Ape!

Hee-ya!

Good kick, Rocky!

What are they doing?

Do not swing on the ladder.

We're going to find a safe place to land.

Do not swing...

You're destablising the helicopter.

- We gotta land. - Whoo!

Aaa-aaa-aaah!

Oh, this is lovely.

Whoa!

This best swing George ever had!

Because George and his jungle buddy are swinging together?

No, because not possible for George to hit...

Yes, fans, we've also included the Empire State Building.

At least the Las Vegas version.

- Watch out for that... - Agh!

You didn't think we were gonna pass up this parody?

- Ape! - George!

Come on! You can do it! Come on!

- Reach! - George!

Now! Again. Swing over.

Thank you for joining us.

In a bizarre case of life imitating art,

tonight's aerial drama over Las Vegas

has reached the very heights of the Empire State Building.

Our correspondent...

Oh. There's something about that ape that feels familiar.

It's King Kong.

I thought King Kong was in black and white.

Would you believe Hollywood?

- They colourised it. - Oh.

- Reach! Reach! - Grab me. Come on!

- Yes! Well done! - Got you! Pull!

Units are arriving on the scene to get you down.

- So, got any other ideas? - Follow George.

Brilliant!

Meanwhile, that dastardly duo of damsels,

Sally and Kowalski,

were searching every nook and cranny.

That's cranny, not granny.

As halfway around the world,

an advancing army prepared to invade the Bukuvu.

And in San Francisco,

Ursula pondered her present predicament.

I always had the fantasy that when I kissed the man I love,

I'd hear church bells ringing.

Church bells ringing?

And fireworks.

Fireworks.

Loud, spectacular, take-your-breath-away

Fourth of July fireworks.

With Lyle, there's just...

Lyle.

Yeah.

So much for fantasy.

I can't help feeling that something's missing.

That somewhere out there,

- something's waiting for me. - Aaa-aaa-aaah!

Sorry to surprise Ursula,

but George can't live without Ursula.

George madly in love.

Uh... Look, uh...

I don't know who you are,

but I'm married. Unfortunately.

Right.

George Ursula's husband.

Uh?

Ursula more confused than George.

But no time to talk. Bukuvu in trouble. Must get back.

George put Ursula first, then jungle. Hm?

I've never heard of the Bukuvu and Lyle's my husband.

Though I have to admit, you are quite attractive,

and have the sinewy arms of a god.

But I'm old-fashioned and take my marriage vows seriously.

- Then can I have him? - Sorry.

George love Ursula more than anything in the world.

Ursula mean everything to George.

Do you have any brothers at home?

- I have brother Ape. - Ooh! An ape.

Can you give him my phone number?

Having deposited his dipsy darling with Ape,

George nervously swung in

to see if his son still remembered him.

Junior?

Daddy!

I missed you so much!

George realise something.

If Junior want to surf and not swing,

it's OK with George

because George love Junior so much.

Nothing else matters.

Come here.

I love you too, Dad.

But I think you better talk to Mom right away,

cos she's been acting really strange.

Yeah.

Come on.

I'll take the stairs.

OK.

So with his devoted son and dormant wife,

George headed back to his homeland.

After getting a tip from Brendan Fraser,

who was cramped during the first picture,

this time he made sure to get a bigger crate.

- Dad, I'm afraid. - Hmm.

What are we gonna do about Mom?

George not know.

But Ursula not recognise George even before George level her.

What Ape think?

Either we should check the crate for pods,

or she's in some sort of hypnotic trance.

She doesn't know who you are.

Mm-hm.

Ahh!

Upon arrival, George whistled for Shep to take them home.

Hey, boy! Over here!

Over here, boy! Come on! Come on, Shep!

Come on, boy! Come on!

That's a good boy, Shep!

Uh, see if you can spot our discreet product placement.

That's my Shep. That's my Shep.

Oh. The elephant's wearing New Balance.

[Ape] Whoops!

Whoo!

Go, Shep! Go! Go, boy! That's it!

I tell you, George, it's good to be home.

Maybe Tookie wrong and Mean Lion not king.

Jungle not look different.

Not different? Look at the signs, George. The signs!

But George missed the signs.

Signs even an illiterate warthog would have noticed.

Because there was a problem. A big problem.

Lyle's maniacal machinery was moving closer to Ape Mountain.

Meanwhile, the cowardly constituents scampered in fear

as our fearless hero ran after them,

beseeching them to stand and fight.

Don't run! If we work together, we can win.

- George still king. - I'm the king!

Get down here. You know you're not king.

You've got a narcissistic personality disorder.

There's no reason the rest of us should suffer for it.

Rrrrr!

If you really care about Bukuvu, then think better idea

we have our big bone-crushing fight for kingdom afterwards.

Uh-huh.

When we still have kingdom.

- What Mean Lion think? - Eat fur, jungle boy.

Yes! Get him!

They'd have had a bone-crushing fight for the kingdom,

had it not been for the trick Ape taught him as a kid.

The ear, George!

Whoa! Cool!

- There. See? - [Mean Lion snores]

Ooh! George wish life always this easy.

- Yeah, Dad! Yeah! - Well done, George.

- Well done. - All right. Who's with George?

Why follow you? You care more about your family than us.

Sure George care about family.

Even have a family sleeping through best part of movie.

[snores]

But you've always been George's brothers and sisters.

Don't you remember?

We took first steps together.

And you taught me how to swim.

And you were with me first time we read Playape Magazine.

So George beg you, not as king, but as brother,

to join him and save homeland.

[grunting]

[chirping]

[whispers]

- Henry V. OK? - OK.

George try something completely different. Ahem.

We few. We happy few.

We band of brothers.

For he today that sheds his fur with George

shall be George's brother.

And other animals in the jungle

shall think themselves accursed they were not here.

And when we get old, ye will remember with great pride

what feats ye did today.

Land all we have. George king.

And king ask animals to join him and save homeland!

[grunts]

Then George fight alone.

Feeling more alone than Siegfried without Roy,

our dauntless, daring, defiant jungle gunslinger

went out to save the Bukuvu.

But soon his friends joined him.

Like "The Magnificent Seven" -

if they hadn't been magnificent

and they'd consisted of a dim-witted king,

an elephant who thought he was a dog,

an ape, a bird, a little monkey and a kangaroo -

they marched, flew and hopped out to meet the enemy.

Tookie-tookie.

And just between you and me, it didn't look good.

Guess just us.

But luckily for George,

after a delayed reaction to his insouciant iambic pentameter,

the jungle's other vacillating varmints

joined the fight with their potent potentate.

For those without a thesaurus, that's...

After a delayed reaction to his speech,

the other animals joined the brouhaha with their king.

Imagining the cold steel of the deleterious dozers

separating his upper half from his lower,

he ordered his troops back in a slow and orderly retreat.

Let's go!

George realised that the only way to win

was to fight fire with... coconuts?

So he called in the heavy artillery.

Aaa-aaa-aaah!

Fire!

Ah, yes!

[Ape] Nice shooting!

Oh, no! Not elephant zug-zug!

- Eugh! - Wooh!

Good shot!

Yeah!

With Shep down for the count,

George felt the need to rally his troops.

Don't worry.

George not know meaning of word defeat.

George not know meaning of most words,

but especially defeat.

And George will stand here just as long

as George's name is... Herb.

But Herb... I mean, George...

quickly realised that a deadly dozer

was heading to destroy the tree house

and his still dozing wife.

George not hit women,

so appreciate it if women not hit George.

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

George realise that in order to save tree house,

Bukuvu and entire jungle lifestyle,

George now have to hit woman.

But in name of sportsmanship,

George give woman fighting chance.

Note to George: rethink sportsmanship.

Aaaargh!

Having finally defeated the pugnacious pair,

Indiana George found himself with an even bigger bugaboo:

how to turn off the bulldozer.

Uh-oh. Ooh.

What this do? Ooh!

- Oh. - [rapid beeping]

Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh?

- [rapid beeping] - Doesn't stop.

Tree house. Oh. Not good.

Ooh! Ooh!

Ee-ee!

Move, animals. Agh!

- Aaa-aaa-aaah! - Ahh!

Junior?

- Ahh! - George son swung!

We did it, Dad. We saved the jungle.

Yeah!

High five!

Can we join your little celebration?

Yes, it was Ursula's meddling, mendacious mock mate

who, along with Beatrice, had tracked her back to the Bukuvu.

Mom?

- Lyle? - Mm-hm.

Ursula!

We've come to take my daughter and grandson home.

Grrrr!

- You're not my father. - Heh-heh!

Ohh! Aha!

I was expecting that. That's why I wore shin guards.

Agh!

Ingrown toenail!

Now, George, you may think you've won the war,

but there'll be more bulldozers.

You give me back Ursula and Junior

and I'll give you back the deed.

George love Ursula and Junior.

George, I'm sorry.

It's no use.

Lyle's my husband.

Junior and I should be with him.

- Ahh. - Hmm.

- I'm sorry. - That's right.

Take it easy, jungle head.

- Ohh... - Come along. Let's go.

No!

Don't let Lyle take me, Dad. I wanna stay with you.

Grrrr!

All right. OK.

Tell 'em to back off,

or Mighty Joe Old gets it here.

George appreciate what gorillas do for George,

but George not want anyone to die for him.

Ahh!

[Lyle] Sound advice, doofus.

You've been using your head for more than cracking coconuts.

Tell 'em to back off.

- Way off! - Grrrr!

Um... I want you to have this.

Somehow I think it belongs to you in this world.

Oh, really. Must I be forced to endure this drivel?

Take Ursula and Junior and let's get on with it.

Sure. No problem. I'll get right on that.

OK. Hey.

Uh, thanks for watching my family for me.

What George do?

George love animals and jungle,

but more than anything, George love Ursula and Junior.

So what are you waiting for?

Get after them!

Go on! Go on!

[Lyle] Hey!

Classic moment of western movie,

where hero holds bad guy up in air,

then humiliates with tree wedgie.

George! Agh!

George! George!

Come on, George. Un-wedgie me.

[church bells ring]

Ohh!

Ahh!

[soaring romantic music]

That was so nice... George.

Ursula know George?

Well, of course.

You're my husband.

She know George!

As it turned out, a kiss from George

was stronger than any hypnotic spell.

Hard to resist kiss from George.

Uh... Ohh!

Aaaargh!

[branch snaps] Ursula...

Would you take your hands off my wife, please?

- Whom you have unhypnotised! - Hm?

I haven't been this disappointed since sixth grade,

when my sister stole my Shaun Cassidy lunch box.

George confused.

Shaun Cassidy was a popular TV character in the late '70s,

along with Parker Stevenson.

I followed both their careers.

George not confused about Shaun Cassidy.

George confused about unhypnotising.

Would you like me to explain?

Sure.

That's what I'm here for.

We've all been wondering about that.

Uh, let's not start in, OK.

I think I speak for everyone, including the audience,

when I say this constant stream of annoying alliteration

is annoying!

What are you gonna do about that? Huh? Huh?

[choir sings Hallelujah Chorus]

Come on! That hurts! Agh!

Aaaargh!

Anyone else have any critiques or comments?

- [all] Uh-uh. - Good.

But before we can end our movie

with the traditional jungle wedding scene,

George still had one more official duty.

George!

Helping Ursula bring her friends

out of their hypnotic trance.

Ooh, George!

Hee-hee!

But I still don't recognise him. Stan?

Stan? Stan? Is that you?

- Stan? - Hey!

- Ooh! - Hello.

- And you're a big hairy ape. - Oh, yes!

So domestic bliss

has once again returned to the Bukuvu.

And with Beatrice's full blessing,

George and Ursula decided to renew their vows.

Ooh-ooh ee-ee tookie-tookie.

[♪ Wedding March]

George want everyone to know,

from now on, George not available at all hours.

From nine to five, George belong to animals.

[chattering, twittering, barking]

From five to nine, George belong to Junior.

But at all times, George belong to Ursula.

And Ursula will wear neck crown.

Because without his queen,

George could not be king,

or anything else.

[sniffs]

Jolly, jolly good.

So all's well that ends well

for that defender of the innocent,

protector of the weak

and all-around good guy

George of the Jungle.

And now that George has learned to balance his time,

he has vowed never to be late for lunch again.

[Ursula] Lunchtime!

[manic rock 'n' roll guitar]

- Whoa! - Coming through!

- Go, Dad! - Whoa!

Whoo! Hot, hot, hot!

- Hi, Mom! - Whoa!

Watch this!

That's my boy!

Jungle surfing not so hard.

George, watch out for that...

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

27R, take one.

Ooh-ooh ah...

OK. Oh ah oh...

[beep]

- 27R, take 41. - Oh, thanks, sweetie.

OK, here's the one. Ooh-ooh... [laughs]

[beep]

27R, take 222.

Ooh-ooh ee-ee... [laughs]

Cut. Cut. Cut.

♪ Watch out for that tree!

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Lives a life that's free

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

Look out! Look out!

You OK, Shep?

♪ When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape

♪ With help from his friend, an ape named Ape

♪ And his elephant Shep can fetch a log

♪ He's man's best friend, he's George's dog

Woof. Woof. Aa-aa ee-ee tookie-tookie.

- What the... - Whee!

♪ He's George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Friend to you and me

Aaaargh!

Oh, dear. Sorry.

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ Hear him holler, swing and sing

♪ All the animals come to the jungle king

♪ So grab a vine and swing in time

♪ If you smack a tree just pay no mind

♪ Like George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree!

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Lives a life that's free

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ When he gets in a scrape he makes his escape

♪ With help from his friend, an ape named Ape

♪ And his elephant Shep can fetch a log

♪ He's man's best friend, he's George's dog

♪ He's George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Strong as he can be

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Friend to you and me

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ Hear him holler, swing and sing

♪ All the animals come to the jungle king

♪ So grab a vine and swing in time

♪ If you smack a tree just pay no mind

♪ Like George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ George of the Jungle

[cacophony of animal calls]

♪ George of the Jungle

♪ George of the Jungle

♪ George of the Jungle

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Swing from tree to tree

Aaa-ooow!

♪ Watch out for that tree

♪ George, George...

And so that ends the movie.

And as always, everyone winds up happy,

except for me.

But who cares about a narrator?

Well, fine. Just leave me alone.

Go out with your boyfriend or your girlfriend

or your best friend or your husband or your wife.

[sniffing] Just go, I said. Go on.

Nobody cares about these credits anyway,

[woman] Uh, contractually we have to show the credits.

[narrator] Uh... who are you?

[woman] I'm the narrator from Mulan.

[narrator] Well... Ahem... It's really nice to meet you.

[woman] Oh! [chuckles]

♪ George, George, George of the Jungle

♪ Watch out for that tree ♪