Original subtitles

Good morning, Alabama!

'Mornin', Harry!

I love you! Ain't nothin' you can do about it!

♪ For once in my life I have someone who needs me ♪

Hello, Miss Emily! I see you got a new walker.

Well, hello, Mr. Harry!

♪ For once, unafraid I can go where life leads me... ♪

Bonjour! Aloha! Konnichiwa and whatnot.

Oh, hey! Good mornin', Miss Ella!

Keep rollin', you old buzzard.

When was the last time you washed your car?

When was the last time you washed your behind?

And a lovely day to you, Ella. And a lovely day to you.

Can't see. Can't hear. Can't drive!

I heard that!

Boy, 'bye.

Hey, Louis!

I was gonna ask you if you wanted your car washed,

but let's face it, some vehicles are just too far gone.

I thought you were here to audition for my choir.

I could sew two robes together.

I am as God and several thousand strips of bacon make!

You look like it, too!

All right, now. Look at that.

Come on, now, and get yourself a car wash.

Hello, Maggie! You know.

Whose bike is this?

All right. Two wheels, want a deal? Come see me, okay?

♪ For once in my life I have someone who needs me ♪

♪ Someone who needs me ♪

♪ Hey, yeah! ♪

♪ Someone who needs me ♪

♪ Oh, I'm in love, baby!♪♪

Finish this for me. I got to go.

Hello.

Desiree, please tell me you're still on the bus.

Of course I'm still on the bus.

How are you feeling?

Oh, you know...

Remember to set clear boundaries. Um, stay in your resilient zone.

And, uh, be present, curious, and non-judgmental.

Present, curious, and non-judgmental. Present, curious, and non-judgmental.

I got this!

The last several times you've said, "I've got this,"

it turns out... you didn't really have it.

Okay, yes. You're right.

Facing your father is very different than facing a pillow in my office.

Don't worry. I actually think I've got this.

And who knows, maybe he's more open to change than either of us realizes.

- ♪Ha! What you see ♪ - ♪What you see ♪

- ♪Is what you get ♪ - Harry, why don't we have Wi-Fi?

If we get Wi-Fi, what next? You want to replace the fax machine?

I would never do that. That thing's a classic.

Saw one just like it on Antiques Roadshow.

I'm done working on the Toyota.

That's going on my resume.

No, Opal, you're a child. You're not working, you're interning.

Right, my bad. I'm done interning on the Toyota.

Well, did you intern behind the spokes? Did you get under the bumper?

Mr. Harry, this is my first step towards world domination.

You really think I'm gonna botch it?

You'd better be careful, because if Oprah hears you comin' for her,

she'll take your little scrawny butt out.

Oprah? I'm coming for Bezos.

Well, excuse me.

Well, hey, before you dominate the world, why don't you go get cleaned up.

Your grandma's coming to pick you up soon.

Got it.

You've got mail.

Look at this. The singles in my area want to meet the hell out of me.

Mm-hmm. And here's an ad for some cheap-as-hell toner.

And...

Oh, my God...

Well, dang, how cheap's that toner?

It's from my son, Desmond. He's comin' back to Alabama.

You have a son? I'm only hearing about this now.

- We haven't spoken in awhile. - How long?

July, August... 23 years.

- What happened? - I don't know, I never figured it out.

He never seemed to be the happiest kid, but what teenager is?

I always thought I was like a son to you.

You're more like a distant cousin's son.

I'll take it.

My son's comin' home.

Look what I brought home, baby!

Miguel! One day, you're gonna pull up in here

without a recently deceased animal on your roof.

Deal with it. I'm a sportsman.

Eighty-sixin' Bambi from a safe distance ain't no sport!

You want to impress me,

why don't you start taking those suckers down hand-to-hand.

You welcoming someone?

Yeah, my son.

Hm, well, that's not really your strong suit.

Not everybody comes storming up in this neighborhood

makin' people remove their bird baths.

The survey said... it was on my property.

I took it down.

Now, when you see these dirty birds flappin' up around in here,

that's on you!

Hello.

Hey, miss fancy lady! I don't know what you're trying to sell me,

but you can just go ahead and leave your little Watchtower magazine

'cause this really ain't a good time right now.

My son's comin' any minute now.

Harry...

Harry? How you know my first name? What's the suitcase for?

Dad, I'm your daughter, Desiree.

Desmond?

No. No, no, no. It's Desiree.

I've always been Desiree.

Wow.

Clearly, we have a lot of catching up to do.

May I come in?

Yeah, come on in.

I thought you had a son.

So did I.

Wow, this place looks...

exactly the same.

Well, you know what they say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Ooh!

That's broke. I gotta fix it.

Oh!

- You all right? - Yeah.

Ain't nobody sit in that chair for 23 years.

Oh, my.

You look just like I remember you.

Well, I can't say the same thing about you.

Definitely not. But so much better, right?

You know you coulda given me a heads-up on this.

It felt like an awkward thing to put in an email, you know.

More awkward than this?

Good point.

Yeah, well, let me ask you a question.

Before you go any further, is this the kind of question

only a doctor or my boyfriend would need to know the answer to?

Boyfriend. Yeah. That answers my next question.

So, where ya been?

New York City.

Ooh! They tell me it's so cold up there, Baskin-Robbins is selling soup.

You got a job up there?

I work in the art world.

That like pictures and sculptures and whatnot?

I curate shows for galleries and whatnot.

You were always makin' pictures. We used to put 'em on the fridge.

Then we ran out of space and I started puttin' 'em in the refrigerator.

It was one of the greatest honors of my life to see one of my watercolors

underneath half a pound of sliced ham.

Yeah.

So, how 'bout you, Dad?

How are you doing? I mean, you know, emotionally?

You know me. As long as cars and dirt remain a thing,

hell, I got it made in the shade.

Thank you for trusting me with that.

Mm-hm. Where you stayin'?

I'm staying with Louis. You remember Louis.

You don't want to stay with Louis!

Louis still got that weird-ass cat with the wandering eyes goin' every which way.

Why don't you just stay here with me?

Wow, that's so parental. Thank you.

Know what? It's good to see you.

It's good to see you, too.

I need to get going. I'm supposed to go meet Louis, actually.

Well, later on, why don't you and I have dinner?

I'll, um, fire up some wings.

Okay, there's one other thing I need to tell you.

And this is hard for me to say.

Dad, I'm a vegetarian.

Say what now?! You're what?

Now, you know you coulda put that in your email!

That's some bullshit!

Meat is murder.

I'm gonna murder some wings tonight. Wait 'til you get home.

Mm-hmm!

Gonna murder 'em up, gonna get fired up!

♪ Let us march on To victory ♪

♪This world♪♪

Tameeka! I swear, if you don't stop vamping,

I'm gonna stab you in your eyeball.

I think we've lifted enough voices for now.

Let's call it a day. Get outta here.

Oh, my God!

You sure you just came from Harry's?

You don't seem, how do I say, emotionally destroyed.

It went surprisingly well, actually.

Oh, my God, his house. Not a thing has changed.

It's like "Black to the Future."

He invited me to have dinner with him tonight,

and apparently, I'm staying with him.

I thought you were staying with me.

This isn't about my cat, is it?

I'm sure your cat is lovely, Louis.

Then why did you unfollow him?

That cat was becoming my entire feed.

Meowser plays the piano.

Everyone can see you moving his paws.

I do.

Excuse me. Y'all together?

Just friends.

Good. Louis, my niece is in town this weekend,

and she is extremely single.

Oh, well, you know I can't resist a pretty lady.

We don't care nothin' 'bout your niece. Girl!

From what I recall,

you were all about resisting all the pretty ladies, all the time.

I know, I know. "Come out, live your truth."

I never said that. Do you, boo.

So, what happened up there?

I arranged for a gallery space. Put every penny I had into fixing it up.

And then, my funding fell through.

What was his name?

- Gavin. - Gavin would.

And that son-of-a-bitch did.

Dang. You're bus broke.

And you live with your mama broke.

Oh! She brought jokes with her from New York!

And there's more where that came from.

I heard she was the pastor's mistress come down from Birmingham

to make him leave Sandra.

I heard she's a spy from the Ebenezer Choir in Atlanta

trying to sew discontent between our sopranos.

Listen, uh-uh, honey. I heard she was a streetwalker.

Yeah. And Louis was helping her find Jesus.

My behind! Ha!

You're not gonna believe what I found down at the Piggly Wiggly.

Apparently, they can now smash soybeans into shapes of all kinds of things,

including wings! So, real wings for me...

and fake-ass wings for you.

Fake-ass wings at the Piggly Wiggly.

Well, I guess some things do change in this town.

More than you know. I just heard Louis befriended a streetwalker.

And supposedly, Pastor Hughes has a new mistress.

A new mistress. Oh, these pastors, they never change.

Mm-mm-mm!

You sure you don't want to try one of these real ones?

This chicken's so good, another chicken will eat this chicken.

Tempting, but no, thank you.

Look at us, picking up right where we left off

after all these years.

Well, it will be a process.

What's gonna be a process?

You know, unpacking all our stuff.

Well, you ain't got but one suitcase.

Okay. Um... My therapist says that our past and our presents are linked.

Like, with me, I have a pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable men.

And that is linked to my past and to, well...

You know, the first... emotionally unavailable man in my life.

Well, who the hell is he? Does he live around here?

Do we need to go pay him a visit?

Okay. Um...

Let's try something.

Are you open to writing a letter to me as the ten-year-old girl I always was

but you were unable to see?

Say what, now?

Dr. Vera Rishikarara says...

- Doctor who? - My therapist.

Have y'all been up there talking about me behind my back?

Maybe I need to write his ass a letter.

She's a she.

Maybe I need to write her ass a letter.

So, I think I'm just gonna retire to what I imagine is

my completely unchanged childhood bedroom.

That's where you got it wrong. I put in a ceiling fan.

I'm totally gonna have to redecorate.

What's on fire?!

Oh! What's on your face?!

It stops me from snoring. What the hell are you doing?

You're gonna burn my house down.

My Lord, look at this! Go on, get outta here!

I'm so sorry. I was burning mugwort for positive energy.

Plus, it still smells very wingy in here.

When was the last time you changed your frying oil?

You never change your frying oil.

Where do you think all the flavor comes from?

Of course. I made you matcha.

It's high in antioxidants.

I'm pro-oxidant. The only green thing going down my throat

is a shamrock shake from McDonald's.

Oh, by the way, I got a little something for you.

I wrote that note to a ten-year-old you.

Oh, my God. You did?

- Yes. - That's amazing.

Dear Des, I'll be home around six. There's bologna in the fridge.

What?

It's just that when Dr. Vera Rishikirara suggested this exercise...

I ain't trying to hear nothin' 'bout no Dr. Richisushiperlamo.

You disappeared 23 years ago.

Not one call, not nothin'.

And somehow, I get ambushed. It's hard for me.

Seriously.

Hard for you?

Did you ever think about why I had to run away?

I thought I did right by you. I put a roof over your head.

I put food on the table. But I didn't know about all of this.

You knew something.

Why didn't you just come and talk to me?

Oh, please. Do you remember what you used to say about Uncle Glenn?

I said Uncle Glenn had a little sugar in his tank.

"Sugar in his tank."

Now, was that kind of talk supposed to make me feel confident

that you'd understand what I was going through?

Uh...

What the hell you doin'?

I'm resetting.

My vagus nerve.

And you're resetting in one of my good chairs.

You're just some kind of mess.

This mess was a feminine child in South Alabama

who had to run home from school every day

from kids who wanted to kick her ass.

I hid out in the library.

And Mrs. Phipps was the only kind face I saw for six years.

And then, you let me go.

You were 17 years old.

What the hell you want me to do?!

You were supposed to fight for me!

And you would have if I was the son you always wanted me to be.

That's just a flat-out lie, and you know it!

You practically threw a football jersey at me yesterday when I got here.

Mom would've fought for me.

You know the tumor took your mom away from me, too!

I don't know why I ever thought that this could work.

I am leaving.

Well, we know you're good at that.

Go to hell, Harry!

See ya again in another 23 years, Desmond!

Unh!

Stop slammin' that door!

Where's Des now?

I don't know, and I don't care.

I do know he ain't gonna come back here and rip me a new one

'cause he wants to say yes to the dress!

- She. - Whatever.

Oh, don't do that, man. Don't "whatever" your kid.

Do I ever tell you your business, Mack?

- Listen, when I was in prison... - When you were where?!

Yeah, it was self-defense. I did my time, now I'm here.

That two-dollar background check ain't said nothin' 'bout no prison!

Look, anyway, when my time was up, and that big door rolled open,

my mama was there waitin' for me,

in that Nissan Pulsar, smoke shootin' out of the muffler.

She had a hot plate of supper wrapped in foil waitin' on the dashboard.

If my mama can come and get me after what I'd done...

maybe this ain't the hill for you to die on, man.

Got get your kid.

Hey, Miss Ella.

What is it, Harry?

I'm lookin' for Desiree. Have you seen her?

Get your old behind in here.

Mm, cinnamon! What you bakin'?

You go near my oven, I'll throw you in it.

Sit down.

What now?

You messed up, Harry.

I know that, Ella. Why you think I'm over here?

Look, I ain't perfect and I don't pretend to know it all,

but, honey...

Desiree coming back and opening up like that?

That was a major step.

I'm still waitin' for Louis to talk to me, and we live together.

But it's their path to walk. Not ours.

You're right, Ella. You're always right.

Shocking!

- Oh, my God! - What?

We're in your living room, girl!

You took the plastic off the furniture?! Are you crazy?!

You know where you goin'?

I am goin' straight to hell.

- Straight to hell. - No detour.

Mm-hmm.

It's time to open the living room up to some folks, ain't it?

I reckon it is, Ella.

I reckon it is.

Well, you better get goin' if you're gonna catch Desiree.

Louis is taking her to the bus station.

To the bus station? I know durn well you ain't sittin' here

havin' a leisurely fireside chat with me,

and you know my child is about to leave forever. What's wrong with you?!

That was an important conversation.

I already heard a bunch of wise shit from that convict I work with.

Convict?

Yeah! I ain't got time to explain it right now.

You can't not explain a convict!

You talk too much!

And save me a piece of that pie.

Are you sure you want to leave?

I wouldn't stay for all the fake-ass wings in the world.

I thought you couldn't afford New York.

You called Gavin, didn't you?

Desiree would.

And she did.

Come here.

A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Now, you do you, boo.

Alabama ain't big enough for that walk! Walk, walk, walk!

Wow, ow, ow, ow!

Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me, excuse me.

We got us a rogue Ken at checkpoint.

I repeat, we got a rogue Ken at checkpoint.

S'cuse me, this is an emergency.

I know that look.

He gonna try to run through here, ain't he?

- Sir? Sir? - No, you don't understand.

I don't have it. You don't understand!

You don't understand! My son! I mean, my daughter! Desiree!

My Desiree! Don't leave, don't leave! Desiree, don't leave!

Don't leave! Don't leave!

Oh, hell to the no.

Desiree, don't leave, don't leave! Don't leave!

That your daddy?

No comment.

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy! I'm Desiree Slate's daddy!

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy! I'm Desiree Slate's daddy!

Don't leave, Desiree!

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy!

Get off of me! Desiree, don't leave!

What's he doin'?

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy!

He's...

He's fighting for me.

Get away from me!

Hold my earrings.

Do what, honey?

Never mind.

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy! Get off of me!

Get away from me!

I'm Harry Slate's daughter!

I'm Desiree Slate's daddy!

Stop! I'm Harry Slate's daughter!

- I'm Harry Slate's daughter! - Get off of me!

I don't understand. Why did those guards let us go?

'Cause I wash their cars.

Oh, the car wash connection.

- Mack! - What happened?

Thanks for coming. I went to jail!

Man, that wasn't jail, that was a time-out.

Desiree, have you met Mack? He just got out of prison.

- Harry! - Well, is that or is that not

the most interesting thing about you?

It's not an ice-breaker.

Okay. Mack, here, loves curly fries and he loves Carrot Top

and he just got out of prison. How do you like that, Mr. Smarty Pants?

Charmed.

Okay. So, I've only heard bits and pieces. What's your pronoun sitch?

Oh, I like this one. Is she yours?

I'm her dad.

But I'm kinda his guardian. We take care of each other.

Welcome back, Desiree.

So, you are his guardian.

'Cause he doesn't do what I tell him to do.

Well, I think your mama would want us to give it another try.

Together again?

Thick as thieves.

Now, why would thieves be thick?

Wouldn't that make it harder for thieves to sneak around and steal and so forth?

How 'bout I crash with you until you can write ten-year-old me a real letter?

That's fine, that's fine.

But I tell you what, it ain't crashin' when you're home.

Okay.

I got something for you.

A library card.

Mm-hmm.

Mrs. Phipps, she remembered you.

And it's got your name on it.

Desiree.

Desiree Slate.

Patricia, Des is back, and he wants to say hello.

She, Dad, it's she.

Mom, that's a free-bee. Next one I'm chargin' him five bucks.

I'm sorry, okay? It's gonna take me a minute to get all this stuff together.

You know what? I'll do anything.

I'll even adjust my vagus nerve.

Your vagus nerve is too far gone.

Well, um, I'll even drink some of that nasty-as-hell matchbox tea.

It's matcha. And yeah, it's nasty.

It's not as nasty as those hippy-dippy wings.

♪ For once in my life I have someone who needs me ♪

♪ Someone who needs... ♪

This season on Clean Slate...

- I heard there was a yard sale. - Over my dead body.

- I've got rental tables. - Will they fit over his dead body?

- Where are you goin'? - I too, am going to church.

- So, what's the plan? - We gonna have us a food strike.

Fight! Fight!

What's goin' on?

Your uncle just knocked that wucker flucker out.

Remember, straight strokes. You don't want to get swirl marks.

Are you calling me bougie? Ah!

- Are you okay, Mr. Harry? - What'd you do?

- Take out an ad? - I'm sorry, people love you.