Original subtitles

The following program

is brought to you in living color on NBC.

Hyah!

All right, nobody move and nobody gets hurt.

All right, throw down that mail bag.

Hurry it up!

I got it, come on, let's get out of here.

Nobody move!

Did everything go according to schedule?

Everything went just like you said it would.

Well, except my horse went lame on me after.

Ah, well, by tomorrow you'll be able to buy

a whole new string of mounts.

Set it down, gently.

Ah, if you don't mind...

I planned this.

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

Please don't act like a pack of vultures.

I don't see any brown envelope.

You will, you will, addressed to the First Union Bank in Sacramento,

bulging with 12 new $1,000 gold certificates.

Yeah, if that telegraph operator over in Fallon wasn't lying to us.

He had a completely honest face,

otherwise I would never have bribed him for the information.

Ah! Here it is.

Eh, it's not addressed to the bank, but perhaps they're getting tricky.

"My dear Lucy, as much as I'd like to marry you, I..."

There's nothing here!

That telegraph operator took us for 150 bucks!

Well, that should be a lesson to me...

Never trust an honest man.

They're capable of any perfidy.

Oh, there he goes with those two-bit words.

How come you even let him join up with us?

How come nothing ever works?

Chance, gentlemen, chance.

Sometimes the cards are cold and nothing ever works.

Other times, you come up with a deck full of aces.

Jarvis... How do?

Why, if it ain't Mr. Cartwright, all the way from Virginia City.

Hey, I got a notion that...

You didn't stop by just to say hello.

What can I do for you?

Uh, well, I, uh...

I... I need a horse. This one went lame.

Well, you came to the right place.

This chestnut here is as good or better

than anything you've got on the Ponderosa.

That's why I came to see you.

Well, Ben Cartwright...

He may own the biggest ranch in the state,

but he still has to come to old Milt Jarvis.

Well, I wouldn't think of going anyplace else.

Well, Mr. Cartwright, that's a fine horse,

- a horse a man can be proud of. - Yeah.

Them friends of yours?

Acquaintances.

Well, I ain't one to give advice, leastwise not to a man like you,

but I've got to say them two look mighty sneaky to me.

Uh, well, I'll... I'll keep that in mind.

Now, about the price of this horse...

Well, look, you know I don't take advantage of people,

not even Ben Cartwright.

When you get the bill at the end of the month,

you'll be surprised.

Now, I'll change the saddle for you.

We just got ourselves a horse.

Well, what on Earth did you use for money?

The gentleman is very happy to send the bill

at the end of the month.

How come?

Well, he...

He thinks I'm... I'm a rancher from Virginia City,

Ben Cartwright.

You must be a dead ringer for him.

So it would appear.

Hoss and Joe should be along in a couple of minutes.

Well, why wait, hmm?

This timber...

18 sections, half a township, and just what we need.

We'll take it all!

And the railroad will supply the logging crews.

Dan, what do you think?

What are you asking him, a college boy, for?

Ben, the railroad authorized me to go $180,000 for the tract.

But I'll take it upon myself to go 200,000.

Shake hands and you've got $30,000 in cash to bind the deal.

Well, I still want to hear what Dan has to say.

His professors say he's the top forestry student at the university.

Dan, what do you think?

200,000 is a lot of money, Mr. Cartwright.

But you can't sell that tract.

He'd be buying a whole watershed.

Log the land clean and you'll have soil erosion, flood, drought...

Why do you want to listen to him?

You must realize how important the railroads are to this country.

Yes, and I also realize

what flood and drought could do to this country.

You heard what Dan had to say.

Has to be my answer.

This isn't my final word, Ben.

I'm staying in Virginia City until you change your mind.

Nobody... Nobody says no to the Central Pacific.

Come on.

Sorry we're late, Pa.

What happened between you and Wentworth?

Well, you know what we've been talking about.

Dan agrees with us.

He... He advised against it, so...

I turned him down.

Ah, I think you're right.

First thaw after that winter snow,

a lot of ranchers around here are gonna be in trouble.

- Yeah. - Gentlemen...

We are not going to sell to Central Pacific.

They threw you out, huh?

Quite the contrary.

Of course he was a little surprised

to see Mr. Cartwright in, uh, in this attire.

But by the time I'd finished with my usual powers of persuasion...

He gave us the best suite in the hotel, charged to my account.

You see, the vest is very nice,

but the coat's a little dull, don't you think?

I mean, this coat has... Has some... Has great style.

Well, it's a little more fancy than what you usually wear, Ben.

No, this is Ben Cartwright.

And after all, it is what you ordered.

It's a perfect fit, too.

Ah, your San Francisco tailors did a marvelous job.

Yes, yes, they... They did do a marvelous job, didn't they?

Excellent, excellent, very handsome.

Uh, but I... I would like to take that one along as well.

A little change, a little variety in a man's life, you know?

I couldn't agree more.

Oh, those work clothes you ordered came in.

Oh, yes, fine.

You've frayed that collar rather badly, Ben.

Yes, I...

I think you'll need some shirts and some ties.

- Yes, shirts and ties. - Oh, and a vest.

Yes, yes, of course, a vest.

You must tell Hoss I finally got some vests in that will fit him.

Oh, yes, yes, I'll tell Hoss.

Joseph is easy to fit, but Hoss...

Now that requires special tailoring every time.

Well, they're a pair of fine boys, though.

- Yes, they are fine boys. - There you are,

- shirt, string tie. - Oh, very good, very...

Uh, I think I'll just put all these on now.

- All right. - I'm staying at the hotel

for a couple of days.

Why don't you send the other things over there?

- My pleasure. - Good.

Oh, uh, what would you like for me to do with this?

Oh, I'm afraid that coat has seen its good days.

Why don't you find some deserving soul

who might be able to use it?

Oh, um...

- Oh, right in there. - Thank you.

My taste is impeccable.

But if you two want to get into that hotel,

you'd better get yourselves cleaned up.

Any minute, somebody's gonna get smart...

and we're all in trouble without a dime's profit.

My friend, appearance is all.

I had to take care of that first.

Ah, now we shall start to reap the harvest.

Just make sure that you don't get caught

with a bunch of them cards up your sleeve,

like you did in Carson City, huh?

No one is going to question Ben Cartwright's integrity, we hope.

But you'd better have the horses standing by, just in case.

Uh, "Ben Cartwright behaving

"like a cussed, ornery, stubborn mule.

"Remaining in Virginia City till I can buy his timber

"come hell or high water."

- Morning, Mayor! - Morning, Sam.

Mr. Wentworth, do you know our mayor?

Mr. Wentworth is with the Central Pacific railroad.

Oh, a railroad man, eh?

Always a pleasure, sir.

Uh, anything I can do to make your stay

in our city more enjoyable, you just say so.

Why, thank you. Thank you very much.

- Right. - Now that'll be just $2 and...

What'll it be, Mr. Cartwright?

- Whiskey, please. - Sure.

And a drink for these gentlemen.

Yes, sir!

Would you join me in a drink, my dear?

Miss Wells, Dixie Wells.

Miss Wells.

It'll be the day when I say no to a drink.

Thank you.

- Bartender. - Make it a double, no chaser.

Here's to you, Mr. Cartwright.

And to you, Miss Wells.

Thank you.

This is a rather big occasion.

It's the first time I've seen you in the Lucky Nugget.

Well, I... I'd never been aware of its attractions.

Well, I worked in the Silver Dollar for a couple of weeks,

you didn't notice me then.

My dear... That's a mistake I will never make again.

You know, you're nothing like I figured.

I mean, I thought you'd be kind of stuck-up

and hard to talk to.

Kind of like a Sunday school teacher, only rich.

Well, my dear, I can tell you that Ben Cartwright is not at all like that.

You know, if I hadn't seen you on the street before,

I would just swear I was talking to another man.

I can assure you, my dear,

I am what I always was, warm and human.

Would you like to go over and sit at the table in the corner?

Talk and kind of get to know each other better?

Now, that would be...

That would be very nice, but, uh... Not right now.

In... In a little while.

Uh, bartender?

- Yes, sir? - What do I owe you?

No hurry, Mr. Cartwright.

When you leave... or, I'll send you a bill.

Well, thank you very much.

Uh, is this seat open, gentlemen?

Sure, Mr. Cartwright, sit down.

Thank you.

How much is a... Stack?

A hundred.

Oh, you don't need cash.

We'll settle after the game is over.

After all, if Ben Cartwright isn't good for a stack or two, who is?

Yeah.

Well, thank you very much.

I hope I don't spoil your game. I haven't played for quite some time.

Uh, don't worry, Mr. Cartwright.

- We'll help you. - Thank you.

You're very kind.

I guess the ace bets.

Two pairs, fives and sixes.

Three threes.

Well, your luck's changing, isn't it, Mr. Cartwright?

Well, I'm grateful for small mercies.

Don't get discouraged, Mr. Cartwright. Your luck's bound to change.

Well, I'm afraid I'll need more chips before that can happen.

How about four more stacks?

All right.

That's a total of eight.

Yes, that's right.

Your hundred and a hundred more.

Well, I, uh...

I'm not sure about this hand.

Well, I... I do have just enough chips, I believe.

I'll stay.

- Three ladies. - Three kings.

Well, I, uh, I...

believe this is, uh, this is better.

A royal flush, it sure is.

See, as you said, at the end, I did get lucky.

I've been watching you.

I got a notion that you've been dealing

from the bottom of the deck.

Well, no one has ever questioned my integrity.

Then it'll be a brand-new experience.

Now shove those cards over here.

Anderson, drop that gun. Put it away.

Come on.

Ben, what's the matter with you?

Getting into a poker game with this pack of thieves.

- Well, uh, I... - Why, half the men at the Ponderosa

have lost a lot of money to these card sharpers.

Well, exactly, that's why I was sitting in with them...

to see if I could catch them at it.

But Ben, after all these years,

you ought to know that you don't just take matters

in your own hands.

You come to Roy Coffee.

Uh... Well, of course, I do know that... Roy.

There's no mystery about these men.

They're just professional gamblers.

I'll give you an instance.

I'll bet he's got something right here that might be a little help.

How about that? A couple of aces.

Not too bad in a poker game, huh?

Listen, boys, if you're smart,

you'll take the first stage out of here in the morning.

And you won't try to cash those chips.

How much did they get you for, Ben?

Well, it wasn't exactly...

He was playing for markers. Nobody took him for anything.

Well, that's good for all of you.

Yeah.

Ben, we've got something a lot more important than a poker game

- to take care of. - Oh, really?

Well, I... I, uh...

I think I'd better get back to the, uh, Ponderosa.

Ben, this can't wait, believe me.

Well...

Don't you think I ought to know what this is all about?

I might need my lawyer.

Ben, a lawyer won't do you any good.

Some fast departure he's gonna make.

He's not gonna make one unless he's got a hacksaw to cut them bars.

Here he is.

Told you I wouldn't leave town, Ben.

Now, Ben, I'm not gonna lecture you on your duties as a citizen.

But you just gotta sell that timber tract

to the Central Pacific.

I mean, sooner or later,

Virginia City is gonna need the railroad.

Oh, of course it will need a railroad.

It seems to me that 200,000 plus $30,000 in cash

is a pretty fair deal.

200,000...

Plus, uh, 30,000 cash.

Certainly, just like I told you before.

I got it right here.

Well, I, uh...

I just don't see how I could say no.

I told you.

I told you you wouldn't find a more public-spirited citizen anywhere.

Well, I... I try to be.

Well, you just sign this bill of sale, Ben,

and the 30,000 is yours.

It's a brand-new pen, Ben.

And I'll notarize the signature just the same as I always do.

Like you always do, of course.

Uh, on second thought...

I think I should have a little time to study this, uh,

this bill of sale.

I know what you're gonna do.

You're gonna go back to that college student again

who will give you a lot of talk about floods and soil erosion.

Oh, no, no, of course not.

Uh, I'm not gonna talk to any college student at all.

I... I, uh...

I just want to have a chance to study it,

and then you'll have a Cartwright's signature.

Old Abe Lincoln himself couldn't have done any better.

I don't know.

Might be a trifle too good.

A bit rusty.

I haven't had much call for forgery lately.

But I can assure you...

Mr. Ben Cartwright's signature will be a gem.

Yeah, it will be if we can get our hands on it.

We'll get our hands on it.

And we'll come up with our...

Deck full of aces.

Get in back of the door.

Wentworth, I told you I wanted to look over the bill of sale.

- I will not be rushed. - Now, don't get excited.

I wanted to let you know that my room is just across the hall.

I'll be ready whenever you are.

Well, the fewer interruptions I have, the sooner I'll be ready.

Wentworth, I thought I...

Oh, Miss Wells.

What a delightful surprise.

I'm sorry, I haven't time for visitors right now.

Well, you better find the time if you want to stay in business.

Well, my dear, no one speaks to Ben Cartwright that way.

No one is speaking to Ben Cartwright now!

Oh, you're very smart, Mr. Whoever You Are.

Ben Cartwright wouldn't know how to handle

a deck of cards like you did.

And he would not have friends like this.

I'll take care of her.

Violence is no solution. Now take your hand off her.

You're using your head, mister.

I have a hunch your being the spitting image of Ben Cartwright

is going to pay very, very well.

Why do you say that?

Come on, you were doing real good

at the Lucky Nugget till Roy showed up.

Don't tell me you're gonna stop there.

Will you let me handle her?

We can get her out of here quietly.

No, we're not taking any chances.

My dear...

There is a small deal involved.

And if you insist, we'll cut you in for a quarter of the amount...

$1,000.

If I know you, it's ten times that.

It is not. It's only 30,000.

Thank you for setting us straight.

You can put me down for a full 7,500, Mr...

What is your name?

Meredith. Bradley Meredith.

Well, 7,500 is the price for keeping my mouth shut.

I'm gonna get out of this rotten town

and the Lucky Nugget once and for all.

You're not gonna agree with her, are ya?

Please. I will negotiate with her.

And I'm sure that when she realizes

how much time and effort was spent in preparation,

she'll agree to a lesser amount.

I do like the way you say things. But the price is still the same.

You know, financial discussions between a man and a woman

are rather sordid, don't you think?

I would be willing...

to consider a top price of... 3,000 providing you earn it.

How?

Well, it would be helpful if we...

had some details about the Ponderosa,

the layout of the place and, oh, several other things.

Well, I've... I've never exactly been invited there socially,

but a lot of the ranch hands do come in the Lucky Nugget.

Oh.

Miss Wells...

What is your first name again?

- Dixie. - Dixie, of course.

I should have remembered. I'm sorry.

Dixie, let us sit down

and see what you can remember from these fond associations.

You know, Brad, you've got real class.

Whenever you're ready.

I'm ready right now. Don't worry about Wentworth.

He just makes a lot of noise, that's all.

There are other timber tracts he could buy.

One just 30 miles south of here, two across the California border.

- Did you tell him that? - He wouldn't listen to me.

I did make a list if you'd like to give it to him.

Oh, sure, I'd be glad to.

Hop Sing need grocery...

Black pepper, coffee, mustard, tea, flour...

Whatever's on the list.

Please, sir, don't forget the Chinese tea.

- I'll get the Chinese tea. - Thank you.

When Joe gets back, tell him good-bye for me.

Will do.

"Timber tract."

Mr. Cartwright? Mr. Cartwright!

You forget this. But...

Oh, Mr. Cartwright, you forget your list.

Oh.

Of course, the, uh... The list.

Well, I... I wasn't really looking for this.

Uh, uh, where are, uh...

Where did you put my ledger?

Hop Sing not put anywhere.

Oh, terribly sorry, Hop Sing.

I, uh, I... I...

What I really meant was...

Did you see where I put it?

Ledger where it always is... on your desk.

Oh.

Hop Sing never touched the book.

Hop Sing?

Where are my papers?

How I know?

Hop Sing cook, not secretary.

I thought you might have seen them.

You work late last night. You take the paper upstair.

Of course. I should have remembered.

Can't find paper? Hmm, how he run big ranch?

Hop Sing?

I left a list here on the table. Where'd you put it?

One minute I ask you if you want piece of paper, you say no.

Now you say yes.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Where's that piece of paper, though?

- It's important! - In trash barrel.

In trash barrel? I'll find it.

Not that one. This other one.

Never mind. I'll get it, I'll get it.

Make up your mind! Save trouble, hmm.

Hop Sing?

Where's the key to the desk in my room?

Key?

I thought you want list.

Oh, forget the list. Where's the key?

Hop Sing no have key.

You have key in... In pocket.

Never mind. I'll get it open.

It's all right, Hop Sing. I found it.

It's all right, Hop Sing. I found it.

I'm sorry if I was a little short with you.

But there will be a nice raise for you at the end of the month.

Hop Sing go bed now.

Ah, need long rest.

Oh, there he is.

Wentworth, they told us at the hotel we'd find you here.

Good, 'cause I've been looking all over town for you.

I was beginning to get a little worried.

Well, we had to take Fielding down to the stage.

Well, well, you haven't changed your mind?

Of course I haven't changed my mind.

Good, then we got a deal.

No, we don't have a deal.

But, uh, young Fielding made out a list of properties

you might like to buy.

List? What sort of nonsense is this?

Well, a list of timber tracts that you can cut

without ruining the watersheds.

You gave me your word that you'd sell me that timber.

I got the cash right here. I want that bill of sale.

Now, look, Wentworth, I told you that I would not sell.

Are you gonna deny that, in front of witnesses,

- you agreed to sell? - What witnesses?

Roy Coffee and Mayor Blaine.

We haven't seen either of them for a week.

Don't tell me that. I was there.

Maybe you've had a little bit too much to drink.

Now, you promised to sell me that timber.

And you will, or I'll promise you

you'll spend the rest of your life in court!

And I tell you, Mr. Wentworth, I made no such promise.

Three of us heard you say it.

Mr. Wentworth, are you sure you feel all right?

I feel fine.

But apparently you two have gone crazy.

I'll see you in court.

You know, if I was Central Pacific and I hired that feller,

I think I'd have to hire me another one, a keeper.

No, he's not crazy.

I don't know what he's up to.

I think I'd better stay in town.

- Hello there, Mr. Cartwright. - Hello.

I'd like to have a room, just for the night.

Mr. Cartwright, you've already registered.

Here's your key.

You can put that gun away. It's only me.

I just wanted to make sure you got back safely.

Well, you didn't have any trouble getting Ben Cartwright's signature?

No one was there to spoil things?

Uh... No.

I don't think so.

Well, won't take too long to get the 30,000

from that railroad man, now will it?

I mean, all you have to do is copy the signature.

Oh, oh, God, you do a great job with Lincoln.

Just great.

Oh, there... There... There may be a delay.

Why?

I mean, you said he was just itching to hand over the money.

Well, uh...

Oh, I know what it is, Brad.

You're angry with me 'cause I was hard and tough,

'cause I drove a hard bargain.

Well...

No, you've been very helpful.

I don't care what share you give me, honest.

All I want to do is get out of here and be with you.

Everybody thinks Ben Cartwright is so great.

He's nothing but a stuffed shirt.

You have got real class.

Thank you.

Ben Cartwright looks a lot like you.

But I could tell the difference right off.

He's just a rancher.

You are a gent.

Oh.

Please, you will take me with you, won't you?

Uh, ye... Uh...

After the deal is, uh, is, uh, finished, we'll talk about it.

Oh, I'm going over to the Lucky Nugget right now and quit.

They're gonna have to find another girl to take Dixie's place.

Uh, uh, wait.

You... You mustn't be hasty, Dixie.

I'll take my chances. Good luck, Brad.

I wouldn't want Ben Cartwright to show up and ruin everything.

Well, I'm not worried about Ben Cartwright.

Mwah. Mmm.

Do you know if Mr. Wentworth is in his room?

I believe he's in the dining room.

Oh, thank you.

Mr. Wentworth, I'm gonna make you a very happy man.

Ben Cartwright, you...

You spoiled my whole day.

You're not spoiling my supper.

I've wired the railroad. Everything's in the hands of the lawyers.

The la... What for?

You wanted a signed bill of sale. Here it is.

In the 30 years I've worked for the railroad,

I've dealt with convicts, hoodlums, even lunatics.

No one's ever behaved in this way.

What kind of satisfaction are you getting out of all this?

I don't understand.

Well, as a man of honor, I kept my word.

When I get the cash, you get this.

I'll get it for you first thing in the morning.

In the morning?

Well, yes, it's in the Wells Fargo safe.

Roy Coffee didn't think it would be smart for me

to carry all that cash.

Too many thieves around.

Well, Mr. Wentworth,

if you want to call the deal off, just say so.

No, Ben, Ben, Ben. Now, you can trust the railroad.

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

The purchasing agent doesn't seem to be a very stable man.

No, Ben, Ben, listen to me.

You sit right down here, right here.

I don't know how, but I'll track down that Wells Fargo manager

and I'll get him to open the safe.

Now, that sounds a little more businesslike.

Don't blame me.

You know, none of this would've happened

if you hadn't gone through all those shenanigans.

I'll be in my room.

May I have my room key, please?

Are you sure you didn't take it, Mr. Cartwright?

Oh, absolutely.

We have a duplicate.

- Well, a most efficient hotel. - Thank you.

I wouldn't do that.

It's bad luck.

This forgery of my signature is very good.

Could almost fool me.

Thank you.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright.

It's a shame, you know.

All that hard work for nothing.

If you'd only stayed out of Virginia City an hour or two longer,

it would've been all so simple.

I'm sorry if I got in your way.

I couldn't interest you in a...

Little game of poker, could I?

No.

Dice?

No, I'm afraid I wouldn't do any better at dice.

I assure you the stakes would be exceedingly low.

If I win,

I walk out that door without bothering anyone.

I'm sure the sheriff has enough on his mind without...

Without me.

Meredith, it isn't just the sheriff.

I want Wentworth to come back and see both Ben Cartwrights.

I'm afraid he thinks I'm crazy for changing my mind all the time.

I'm afraid I did confuse him a bit.

But in a good cause.

Wentworth found the Wells Fargo manager.

They're over at the office now.

You better get over there, and I wouldn't waste any time either.

I think I'll wait till Wentworth gets back here with the cash.

Come on, Meredith, let's get going.

We ain't gonna be treated like flunkies no more.

And put that gun down.

You ain't got the faintest idea what to do with that thing.

I'm afraid he does.

Gentlemen...

Mr. Ben Cartwright.

Now throw your guns down. Come on, move.

Oh, I forgot to mention.

Uh, my two associates, Mr. Nicholson and Mr. Murphy.

Delighted.

Now, what do you say we all pay the sheriff a visit?

If you insist.

Meredith?

You first.

Is... Is Mr. Cartwright still in his room?

I think so, sir.

All right, Ben, I got the money, see, like you wanted.

I hope you're happy.

I'm afraid not.

I think you'd better put that money

back with Wells Fargo... where it's safe.

Well, let's see what we got here.

"The defendant Bradley Meredith with two Confederates

"Turk Murphy and J. Nicholson, did willfully conspire

"to defraud the Central Pacific railroad out of $30,000.

"Now, the three defendants also charged

"some $500 worth of wearing apparel to the account of Ben Cartwright,

"plus one chestnut mare

"from Milt Jarvis livery stable in Eureka."

Now, does that about do it?

Well, that's all I know about it.

Well, if you just sign the statement, we'll take care of the rest.

Ben, if you hadn't have been so smart,

I'd have caught up with Meredith myself.

Look what come in this morning.

"Wanted for fraud, swindling, bunco games."

Mr. Meredith's sure been a busy man.

I know you don't need the money,

but that $500 reward could just pay you for your trouble.

I didn't expect that.

Sheriff? Sheriff Coffee?

Yeah?

May I speak with Mr. Cartwright, please?

He sure sounds like you, don't he?

Yeah.

Well, you want to talk to him or you had enough trouble?

Eh, why not?

I'd like to know how he was able to convince everybody he was me.

Ben, you'll have to leave your gun out here.

I can't break the rule even for you.

After you, Ben.

I hate to impose on you, Mr. Cartwright. You've been so kind.

But there's something I would like to say to you,

privately, if I may, Sheriff.

Don't make it too long.

Thank you, Sheriff.

Thank you for coming in, sir.

As owner of the Ponderosa... for a few hours,

I've learned a great deal.

Really?

Yes, it's a lesson I should have learned a long time ago.

Oh, please sit down.

My whole life has been based on a foolish dream.

A mythical pot of gold at the end of a nonexistent rainbow.

Well, all that is in the past.

I realize now that...

A great ranch like the Ponderosa can only be built

with sweat and hard work.

Hmm. Yes, that's true.

Well, that's what it's gonna be for me from now on.

No more lies, no more deception.

And I can assure you I'll be a changed man when I get out.

I want to thank you

for helping me come to that realization.

That's all I wanted to say to you.

Well...

That's very commendable.

Good luck, Mr. Meredith.

Roy, he's escaped! Stop him!

Meredith, get back in there.

- What? - Come on now.

- I said to get back in there. - Now, Roy, let's not be...

I'm not fooling.

I'm asking you to get back in there, you understand me?

Now just be careful with that gun, Roy!

For goodness sakes, that's Meredith in there!

Shut up!

Do you think that I locked myself in,

throw out the keys, and then knocked myself out?

Ben, take these keys and let yourself out of there.

Roy, can't you tell the difference between him and me?

For goodness sakes, how long have you known me?

I know the difference!

Roy, you're letting that card man get away!

Now you get back in that cell or I'll pull this trigger, so help me.

Roy, you're making a terrible mistake.

You're not dealing with a small-town sheriff, brother.

And don't call me Roy.

Roy, what's the matter with your eyesight?

- Can't you see what's happening? - Shut up!

Sheriff, that's the wrong man!

Roy, for goodness sakes, what's the matter with your eyesight?

- You feel all right, Ben? - Oh, yes, fine, I just...

There's some people, you just can't help them

- no matter what you do for 'em. - That's right.

Well, Roy, I best be getting back to the ranch.

Ben, you're forgetting your gun.

Oh, I tell you, he really packs a wallop.

I'd forget it. Oh, and my hat, too.

You may just well take along the $500.

I know you don't need it, but you might find a use for it.

Yes, well, I'll, uh... I'm sure that I'll, uh...

I'll be able to find some worthwhile soul

who'll be able to make very good use of it.

Roy, thank you very much.

Thank you, Ben. I'm sorry.

As long as you're the sheriff here in Virginia City,

they need have no fear about law and order and justice.

Thank you, Ben.

Hyah! Yee-hoo!