Original subtitles

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"Black Bart dropped the reins of the cay... cayuse over the hitch rail

and saun... sauntered across the boardwalk to the door of the bank.

He pulled the red calico kerchief up across the bridge of his nose

and settled the black hat lower on his forehead.

Then pulled the trusty hogleg from the ornate bus...

buscadero holster.

He stepped through the door and into the bank.

The man in the teller's cage saw him at once

and cower... cowered back fearfully.

Black Bart cocked the pistol and said in a firm voice..."

Howdy.

I seen your campfire and I thought I'd ride by

and see if you had a spare cup of coffee.

Oh, sure, stranger.

You just tie your cayuse up, and we got plenty of coffee.

Thanks.

But he ain't a cayuse.

- Well, I mean your bronc. - He ain't a bronc neither.

- What is he? - He's a horse.

Well, any fool can see that, but what do you call him?

Well, I call him Chub. What do I call you fellas?

- Well, I'm Luke. This here's John. - Hoss Cartwright.

How's that?

- He thinks he's fast with a gun. - No, no, how was it? Did you like that?

Thought it was a mite dangerous.

From this thing? You gonna get hurt? You can't get hurt from this old gun.

It wasn't me I was concerned about.

It wasn't you. I mean, I wasn't meanin' nothin' personal against you.

I was just showin' off a little.

Draw.

Go on, go on, draw.

Well, he caught me by surprise.

Sit down, Hoss.

- Yeah, thank you. - Make yourself at home.

You know, you're the first real outlaw we've met since we left Kansas.

Well, I hate to disappoint you boys, but I ain't no outlaw.

You gotta be, the way you handle that gun.

No. See, I ain't that fast. It's just that old John is that slow.

Look, that's all right. Your secret is safe with us.

I mean, we've read all about people like you in these books.

That's why we came west, to be free.

To go where the wind blows us.

Like the smoke from the lonely cowpuncher's fire.

Are you fellas lookin' for work?

That depends.

Well, we've got some harvestin' to do. We got some alfalfa, oats, hay.

Oh, no. I mean, we left Kansas to get away from that kind of work.

Well, what exactly is it you are lookin' for?

Somethin' a little more exciting than that.

- When do we get to the next town? - It's about a two-hour ride.

That's where I was headin'.

Well, stay and eat with us and we'll ride in together, pardner.

Sounds like a good idea. I'll get my grub.

If you fellas change your mind, my pa'll be in town in a couple of days

and that'll be plenty of time to sign on.

Well, we'll think about it.

It went off.

So long, pardner.

You sure you boys don't wanna change your mind about that job?

No, thank you.

Well, it's been a pleasure ridin' with you, boys. See you around.

Yeah, it's been nice.

Let's go, John.

Run for it, pardner!

Hey, horse!

Luke, come back here!

Hey, horse! Whoa!

Hey, John!

What are you doin'?

John! Hey! Hey!

John!

Hey, wait a minute! Hey!

Hey, what's the matter? Why are you...?

Stay right where you are, big fella.

Get up. You're under arrest.

- For what? - For robbin' the bank.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

The jail's right down yonder. March.

Oh, Sheriff, this is silly. You ain't gonna put me in no jail.

Sheriff, you're makin' a terrible mistake.

I more than likely am.

If you'd just let me explain,

I'm sure we can come to some kind of understanding.

- You already have. Two or three times. - I got a feelin' you don't believe it.

- Scooter, outside. - Yes, sir.

- Sheriff, it's the truth. - Maybe it is and maybe it ain't.

But the truth ain't somethin' that somebody tells me.

It's somethin' I gotta figure out by myself.

Scooter, see who that is.

Sheriff, my brother and our foreman ought to be over at the hotel right now.

- Go over there and ask them. - I've already sent for 'em.

And I got a posse out lookin' for them two pardners of yours.

I've told you, they ain't my partners.

So you have.

- Hurry on, now. He's back here. - There he is.

- Hey, brother, how you doin'? - Joe, Candy. Boy, am I glad to see you.

Yeah, I'm fine, except for bein' locked up in here.

Don't worry. We'll have you out in a minute.

And just how are you gonna do that?

Well, look, the whole thing is ridiculous. It's a mistake.

Mr. Bradley says that there's 15,000 dollars missin' from his bank,

and that ain't no mistake.

- Hoss didn't take it. - I didn't say he did.

Then why do you have him locked up?

Because the other fellas got the money and he got caught, that's why.

Well, why ain't you out chasin' the other fellas?

- I got a posse out chasin' 'em. - Well, why ain't you with 'em?

Look, my job ain't to outrun every crook in the county,

it's to out-think 'em, and I do my best thinkin' right here.

All right, good. We'll get you a lawyer. Don't worry.

- If you'll wait outside... - I got some questions.

I'll talk to you when I get through here.

- Now, take 'em out. - We'll be right back, Hoss.

You know, I could go a whole lot easier on you

if you'd just tell me where them other two fellas are.

I don't know where they're at.

Well, you ain't got much time to make up your mind.

You know, the circuit judge is in town

and your trial is set for nine o'clock tomorrow mornin'.

You're gonna be on your way to territorial prison by noon.

I still don't know where they're at.

Oh, if you've got any ideas of breakin' out of this place,

I just want you to know that I ain't lost a man in 15 years.

I still don't know where they are.

Honor among thieves.

I guess you know that they'd turn you in in a minute, don't you?

- Where'd they go? - They wanted a lawyer.

I sent 'em to Mr. Blake.

Blake?

Well, maybe you'd better wander on out and keep an eye on 'em.

Yeah, sure.

Mr. Blake.

I already know most of the facts of the case, Mr. Cartwright.

- And if I may be frank... - Please go right ahead.

Your brother doesn't have a chance.

- But he's innocent. - Naturally.

All crooks are innocent until proven guilty.

Look, Mr. Blake, my brother really is innocent.

Well, that's too bad.

- Why? - 'Cause he's going to prison.

Not if we can prove that he's innocent. That's why we need a lawyer.

You need more than a lawyer, Mr. Canaday.

You need divine intervention, a miracle.

- We'll settle for a lawyer. - Sorry. Can't help you.

Mr. Blake, every man has the right to counsel.

Mr. Cartwright, every dollar I had was in that bank.

Now, in all fairness to you and your brother,

I could not be objective in representing him.

- You'll have to excuse me. - Well, at least you're honest.

There's another lawyer down the street.

Ray Stahl. I'm sure he'll take the case.

He needs the money, and the experience.

Thank you.

Mr. Cartwright, I also happen to be the county prosecutor,

and a witness to the crime.

For your information, he is guilty, and I intend to prove that.

He sure went to a lot of trouble to say no.

A lot of people like to hear themselves talk.

Why don't you just sit here and relax? We're just gonna go down the street.

You lookin' for Ray?

Ray who?

He ain't there.

- Who ain't there? - He's gone fishin'.

Where?

Well, it might just be better if I went along and showed you the way.

- Which way? - This way.

Easy does it, Calvin.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Sleep it off, now.

He's sure gonna hate hisself in the mornin'.

You changed your mind yet?

Sheriff, I've told you everything I know.

You know, Hoss, I'm just as smart as some crooks

and a whole lot smarter than most of 'em,

and when you lie to me, I figure it's 'cause you think I'm stupid.

Now, I take that as an insult.

Sheriff, I'm as honest as most folks,

and a little more honest than some,

and when you call me a crook, I take that as an insult.

You sure ain't a-helpin' yourself none.

Oh, by the way, the posse got back.

Them two friends of yours got plumb away.

Why, they're halfway to Mexico by now.

- Is that all you can tell me? - It's about all I know.

Scooter, is that the way it happened?

They, um, dressed it up a little. But that's about right.

Doesn't sound too good.

- Will you take the case? - Of course I'll take it.

Provided I get paid in advance.

People who lose are reluctant to pay.

Are you so all-fire sure you're gonna lose?

Not absolutely.

But I would like to get paid in advance.

All right.

That enough?

- For half my fee. - Half, huh?

All right, my father'll give you the rest before the trial.

Good enough.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, you!

- Luke. - Hi, Hoss.

- Hi. - Come on, open up, open up.

- Luke. - I'm here to rescue you.

Luke, I don't wanna be rescued.

Dad burn it, I... I'm in enough trouble like it is.

That's why I'm here, to get you out of trouble.

What are pardners for if not to help each other?

Oh, so you're pardners, huh?

- That's right, Sheriff. - No, we ain't neither.

- Now, tell him the truth, Luke. - Now, come on, we ain't got all night.

All right, Calvin.

Reach. Ha-ha!

You know, I figured that you fellas might try to pull somethin' like this,

so I just stuck my friend Calvin in the next cell.

Yeah, that's pretty good, Sheriff.

That's just like in the book when Black Bart rescues Slim and Red

from the hoosegow up in the Wind River country.

What are you so happy about?

Look behind you, Calvin.

I ain't gonna fall for no old trick like that.

It's all right, Calvin. You can fall for it.

- Huh? - Put the gun down, Calvin.

Anythin' you say, Sheriff.

We got your horse outside, Hoss. John sneaked him out of the livery stable.

Luke, the best thing to do is tell the sheriff the truth. Just tell him.

No, that ain't the way it's done. Now, come on.

No. I ain't gonna go with you, Luke. I ain't gonna do it. No.

Look, John and me went to a lot of trouble to get you out of jail.

And by golly we're gonna do it. Now, let's go.

- So long, Sheriff. - Be seein' you, Hoss.

They got away.

If I didn't know better, I'd think so myself.

Oh, I sure hope you appreciate the trouble you got me into, Sheriff.

Martha don't like me bein' late for supper.

I'll write you a note you can give to her.

That'll do me no good. She don't like me hangin' round the jail either.

Come on, now.

- Sheriff? - Scooter?

Yeah!

Get the keys and come unlock this door.

What are you doin' in there? Where's Hoss Cartwright?

His friends come and got him out.

- Did he get clean away? - Looks like it, don't it?

Ain't you in the least little bit upset?

Not so you'd notice.

- Hello, Ray. - Sheriff, I wanna see my brother.

Go round me up four or five men for a posse, will you?

Anybody in particular?

No, just anybody that's up and around this time of night.

- We'd like to see my brother. - Give me your gun.

- Oh, my crying out loud. - And yours too.

- Here you go. - Can we see him now?

- This way. - Thanks.

- Hoss? - Where is he?

- Inside. - Wait a minute. What's this all about?

He'll tell you all about it when he gets back.

What are you lockin' us up in here for? We didn't do anything.

- He can't do this, you know. - He just did it.

What are the charges against those two men, Sheriff?

Ray, you know dadgum good and well

that I ain't got no charges against them boys.

I just wanna have 'em here where I can keep an eye on 'em.

Then I'll have to file a writ.

Well, why don't you do that first thing tomorrow mornin'?

Right after breakfast.

Could I talk to Hoss Cartwright now?

No. He escaped.

But you can see him tomorrow mornin' when you serve that writ.

What's goin' on? Where's my brother?

He got away, and it's my duty to tell you, Mr. Cartwright,

it's not going to help his case any.

What about us? Can we get out of here?

In the morning. See you then.

Uh...

Well, what are we gonna do now?

Flip a coin.

Winner gets the bunk, loser gets the blanket on the floor.

Call it.

Heads.

- Good night. - Good night.

Hey, come on, sit down, pardner. Take a load off your feet.

Let's get a couple of things straight first of all.

First of all, I ain't your pardner.

And secondly, I'm in a bunch of trouble because of you two.

We rescued you, Hoss. Don't that set it straight?

Not by a long shot. You see, I happen to live here.

I gotta stay here. And eventually I gotta go back in and face them folks.

- Why? - Because I ain't a bandit.

Well, neither are we.

What were you doin' robbin' that bank, then?

Tryin' to get a little money together.

If it was money you wanted, how come you turned down that job I offered you?

Well, a job takes up too much of your time.

We kind wanna move around and see the country.

To go where the wind blows us.

Like the smoke from a lonely cowpoke's fire. I've heard it.

Well, we'd never get anything seen if we had to work for a livin'.

I mean, holdin' a job kind of ties you down to one place.

So we figured we'd stop in a bank now and then

and pick up what we needed.

- You've done this often? - No, that was the first time.

And it sure didn't work out the way we expected it would, did it?

Honestly, pardner, we didn't mean to get you in no trouble.

Well, you two are in as much trouble as I am.

They gotta catch us first.

Yeah, and we got the whole world to hide in.

Yeah, but, you see, I ain't. I live here.

Now, if you two really wanna do me a favor,

you'll go back in and give that money back.

Money? What money?

The 15,000 dollars you stole from the bank.

We didn't get no 15,000 dollars. We didn't get one cent from that bank.

Sheriff, I run into him just goin' in the bank.

Sheriff, what in the thunder do you need me for?

I'm gettin' up a posse.

Hoss Cartwright escaped and we're gonna go out and pick him up.

Hoss escaped?

- Where did he go? - I don't know just yet.

I'm workin' on it.

Well, if you don't mind, I've got a lot of things to do at the bank.

They'll keep.

Sheriff, I am a very busy man.

Look, you ain't got no money over yonder to count

and you might say that this is bank business.

Anyhow, I'd kind of like to have you go along.

All right, Sheriff. Where do we go?

Like I say, I'm a-workin' on it.

Oh, Calvin, did your wife find you?

- No. She lookin' for me? - Yes.

Oh, my...

What are we waiting for, Renard?

Running Cloud.

I had him a-waitin' outside the jail to trail 'em, just in case.

- You don't miss a bet do you, Sheriff? - Hardly.

Is there any chance he could have lost them?

Uh-uh. Runnin' Cloud can trail a stray breeze through a stand of timber.

- You boys go get the horses. - All right, you heard the sheriff.

- Come on. - You followed 'em?

Yes. They're camped over near Whistling Rock.

- Can I come too, Sheriff? - You're in enough trouble already.

- Yeah, but you got me into it. - All right, I'll tell you what.

You stay here and keep an eye on the jail.

From here on out you're an official deputy.

I'll give you a dollar a day. That ought to cool her off.

- Right. - Oh, how close did you get to 'em?

I was from here to... to there.

Well, why didn't you arrest 'em?

Running Cloud paid to track. Sheriff paid to arrest.

All right, let's go.

So John and me walked into the bank and we pulled our hoglegs

and we told the man behind the counter to stick 'em up.

But he didn't.

No, he grabbed a gun from under the counter and started shootin' at us.

He wasn't supposed to do that.

- He wasn't? - No.

In the book, when you draw on a banker, he cowers.

Fearfully.

Yeah, well, I reckon this banker hadn't read the book.

Well, anyway, we didn't want nobody to get hurt, so we ran for it.

And you didn't get a bit of money at all?

No.

Word of honor.

Look, I might lie to a stranger, Hoss, but not to a pardner.

Yeah.

Well, that banker claims you got 15,000 dollars.

Hoss, would we go to the trouble of breakin' you out,

ride you back here and then just tell you lies?

Well, then, he lied?

He stole the money.

Just like in the book, crime don't pay.

It's the honest man that gets rich.

Well, we're gonna go back in and tell 'em.

Tell 'em what?

We're gonna tell 'em that he's the one, that you're innocent.

Well, we're more unsuccessful than we are innocent.

We did try to rob the bank.

Luke, this is the only way you can get me out of this mess.

Well, I suppose we could go back and tell 'em you wasn't in on it

and they might believe us.

But then they'd want the money back, and then what would we tell 'em?

And how much of it would they believe?

Well, dad burn it, you ought to have thought about that before you started.

Most bankers is honest.

How could we know the one we'd pick to rob would be a crook?

- I gotta go. - To jail?

Yeah. My trial starts in the mornin' at nine o'clock.

- Wait a minute, Hoss. - Wait, wait.

- Fellas... - You can't go. We can't let you go.

What did you fellas do? Did you rescue me or kidnap me?

John, put that thing away before you hurt yourself.

- Good luck, pardner. - I'll need it.

Ain't nobody afraid of a gun out here?

Maybe we're doin' somethin' wrong.

We're doin' exactly like it says in the book.

Now, maybe, now, just maybe, mind you, the book might be wrong.

Oh, no, that can't be true.

Look, I ain't sayin' it's true, but it's somethin' to think about.

- Sheriff? - Yeah?

We gonna... shoot to kill?

Not just yet, Scooter.

Well, aren't they desperate men?

- Scooter. - Yeah?

Shut up.

Come on, let's get 'em.

Runnin' Cloud.

He's always got it figured out just how far he'll go,

right down to the last inch.

Everybody stay right where you are.

Well, they seem to be gone.

You figured that out all by yourself, huh?

What are we gonna do now, Sheriff?

Looks like they outsmarted you, Renard.

Yeah.

If I didn't know better, I'd think I was dealin' with honest men.

We gonna track 'em?

What for? No law that says a crook's gotta be stupid.

Anybody that turns crooked has gotta be stupid.

He just thinks he's smarter than everybody else.

Sheriff?

- Sheriff? - Yeah?

We... We gonna go after 'em?

- Scooter? - Yes, sir?

Will you stop askin' questions?

All right, men, let's go.

How am I ever gonna learn if I don't ask any questions?

- Who's there? - It's me, Hoss Cartwright. Open up.

- Hey, where's the sheriff? - Don't you know?

Yeah, he said he was goin' out to get you back.

Well, I didn't wait for him.

Hey, what are you two doin' in there?

- Well, what are you doing out there? - Well, I... I got rescued.

- Wait a minute. I'll get the key. - No, no. No, please.

One escaped prisoner in the family is plenty.

Take this card. It's got your lawyer's name on it.

- Why don't you get him? - Yeah.

Are you sure you don't want me to get you out of here?

- Positive. - No, no, no, we're comfortable.

- Hey, Calvin. - Yeah?

Run and get this fella for me, will you?

Oh, sure.

Hey, wait a minute.

I ain't no errand boy. I'm a deputy sheriff.

Oh, yeah. Well, I'll go get him. You look after things here.

Right.

Oh, Hoss, don't forget, breakfast is at eight o'clock sharp.

You ain't back, you don't eat.

Thanks.

I'm just tellin' you what they told me. Why would they lie?

For the same reason they'd steal.

- But they didn't. - They say they didn't.

- I believe 'em. - I don't believe them.

But that's beside the point. Even if I did, how would I prove it?

Well, I don't know. That's... That's sort of up to you.

I mean, you're the lawyer.

Then let me figure out what the defense is going to be.

All right. As long as it's based on the truth.

Hoss, I've known Phillip Bradley for some years.

He's been known to take a drink and turn a card.

He's not one of my favorite people.

But I can't think of any reason for him to rob his own bank.

I can give you 15,000.

I realize people have a natural distrust of bankers, and lawyers,

but they also have a healthy distrust of bank robbers too,

And that's what you're accused of being.

Now, do you think they're going to take your word against his?

- Well, it's worth a try. - Not without proof.

Now, run on back to the jail and get a good night's sleep.

I'll see you in the morning.

Yeah. I'll see you.

- Who's there? - It's me again. Let me in.

I don't know whether you're more concerned

about somebody gettin' in or out of this jail.

Little bit of both.

- Hoss, what did the lawyer say? - Well, he says I'm in a lot of trouble.

How long did it take him to figure that out? Did he have any ideas?

No. He didn't seem to be too concerned about it neither.

That's because he already got half his pay.

Yeah.

Howdy, Sheriff.

How'd you catch him?

Well, I was sittin' out there on guard, see,

and all of a sudden I hear this noise.

So I figured maybe somebody had come to spring these two guys.

So I pull my gun, see. Well, I get up...

Well, I... I started goin' towards the door,

and I hear this sound again and, um... I got my gun ready...

Oh, heck, I didn't really catch him, Sheriff.

He come walkin' in like he owned the place

and I was three months behind in my rent.

Don't feel bad about it, Calvin. It's a pretty good story.

- Wanna hear the rest of it? - Not just now, Calvin.

- I'm gonna let you boys out. - Great.

Lack of evidence. But don't go too far.

We'll be here for the trial. Hoss, don't worry about a thing.

- We'll be around. - See you, Candy.

You know, Hoss, I pride myself on my wily ways.

There ain't a whole lot of people that can put anything over on me.

But you surprise me.

Well, maybe it's because I'm tellin' you the truth, Sheriff.

I'm beginnin' to believe you.

But there's gonna be a lot of people there tomorrow

that you're gonna have to convince that ain't near as smart as I am.

Well, you do me one favor, Sheriff, will you?

What's that?

No matter what happens in that courtroom tomorrow,

you keep an open mind, will you?

I pride myself on that too. See you, Hoss.

Night, Sheriff.

Excitement's all over, Cal. You might just as well go on home.

Sheriff, do you mind if I bed down in that empty cell back there tonight?

I can't stand the thought of facin' that woman.

Come in.

- Calvin? - Sheriff, that's her.

- Please don't open the door. - Calm down, Calvin.

- You don't know what she's like. - It can't be as bad as all that.

Calvin?

Good evenin', Sheriff.

You better come home now, Cal. Your supper's gettin' cold.

Yes'm.

- Good night, Sheriff. - Night, Miss Glidden.

Boy, she's a holy terror.

A regular she grizzly bear, ain't she?

Here comes the sheriff. Step aside here.

Here comes the sheriff. Here comes the prisoner. Step aside, now.

- Is Pa here yet? - Not yet, but don't worry.

Did you think about what I told you?

Yes, but I don't think I can use it. There's no proof.

- But it's the truth. - Hoss, this is a court.

And the court wants to hear evidence,

and evidence consists of those facts which we can prove.

Now, the truth without proof is not considered evidence.

How you gonna get justice if you don't have the truth?

We use the law.

- It's an acceptable substitute. - Yeah.

Well, if I have to depend on the law and the law only,

I'm as well as on that two o'clock train

to the territorial penitentiary right now.

Court's in session. Sit down and shut up.

- All right, you heard the judge. - Scooter. Scooter.

You 12 men, sit over there. You're the jury.

Uh, Judge.

I don't think I should be on the jury.

- Did I call the defendant again? - The defendant's brother.

Uh, you're excused.

- What's your problem? - Uh, I work for the Cartwrights.

You! Don't you know better than to come charging in when the court's in session?

Yes, sir, I do, but it's important that I be here.

It's important that you be here, is it?

Well, then, you just have a seat over in the jury box

where you have to see and hear everything that goes on.

- Just do like the judge... - My name is Ben Cartwright.

- My son is on trial here. - Why didn't you tell me?

I never seen him before neither.

Have a seat there in the front row, Mr. Cartwright, and be quiet.

Pick two more men for the jury and let's get on with this thing.

- Good to see you. - What's going on?

Oh, Pa, I don't even wanna talk about it.

Mr. Cartwright, sit down.

Call your first witness.

Very well.

I'd like to call Sheriff Renard.

- Swear to tell the truth? - Yes, sir.

Well, then, sit down.

Sheriff, I'd like you to tell this court, in your own words,

exactly what happened.

Well...

Which way we goin', Luke?

North. Wind River country.

Wind River country.

That sure sings, don't it?

You could almost dance to it. Wonder what it looks like.

Well, one place is pretty much like another.

That don't sound like you, Luke. We're free.

We're free to go where the wind blows us.

Got everything we need. Got a gun, got a good bronc.

This ain't a bronc.

It's an old plow horse I rode out here from Kansas.

Just wishin' ain't gonna change him a bit,

and it ain't gonna change us either.

What's the matter? You thinkin' about Hoss?

Well, it just ain't right for a man to ride off

and leave his partner in the lurch.

No, no, it ain't.

Luke, what the heck is a lurch?

Well, I don't really know,

but whatever it is, Hoss is in it and we gotta get him out.

Again?

The three of 'em pulled up across the street

and the defendant here stayed with the horses

while the other two went into the bank.

Soon as the shootin' started, why, they come runnin' out

and got on their horses and rode out of town,

and Hoss Cartwright here fell off his horse and we caught him.

Thank you, Sheriff. Your witness.

No questions.

- No questions? - Did he lie?

Mr. Phillip Bradley.

Just because I was with 'em don't mean that I was one of 'em.

Continue, Mr. Bradley.

Well, after they got their hands on the money, they kind of forgot about me.

I got the pistol out of the open safe and started shootin' at 'em.

That's when they fled.

They got away, but the sheriff and I captured their confederate there.

Your witness.

No questions.

Did you have money in that bank too?

All I had in the world.

That completes the case for the prosecution, Your Honor.

Is the defense ready?

I would like to confer with my client for a moment.

All right, but don't take too long.

Now, look, Hoss, our only hope is to put you on the stand.

The only defense we've got

is your story about those two boys being strangers to you.

Well, I've already told 'em that and they don't believe it.

But when you tell it up there, see if you can cry a little.

There's something kind of sincere about a man who cries.

I'd rather yell.

Mr. Stahl, his train is due at two.

It always runs a little late, Your Honor.

Your Honor, if you and this court's dead set on railroadin' me,

the least you can do is make my train on time.

- I'm getting sick and tired of this... - Mr. Cartwright, sit down!

- Sit down! - Your Honor, excuse me...

- Sit back down now. - Wait a minute, Sheriff. Wait a minute.

Your Honor, I beg your pardon and the court's pardon

for that outburst of temper,

and I respectfully request permission

to carry on the defense of my case from this point forward.

Mr. Cartwright, anyone who represents himself has a fool for a client.

Yes, sir. May I?

Thank you. I call Mr. Luke Baldwin to the witness stand.

Those are the other two, Judge! Sheriff, get 'em!

Mr. Bradley, quiet!

- Hold it right there! - Quiet. Quiet!

Mr. Bradley, will you sit down?

Quiet! Quiet!

Get over and sit down.

Do you swear to tell the truth?

Sure. What do you think I am?

That's what we're here to find out.

Now, Luke...

How can I help you, pardner?

Luke, did you steal any money at all out of that bank?

No, not one red cent.

Your witness.

Mr. Baldwin, did you rob that bank?

No.

- But you did go into the bank? - Yeah, I did that all right.

Then what did you do in the bank?

- Your Honor, I object to that. - Why?

Well, he's already said he didn't rob the bank.

Now, whatever else he did in the bank is no importance to this case.

Sustained.

No more questions.

Now, Your Honor, if I may, I'd like to call John Carter.

John Carter!

Now, John, did you steal any money out of that bank?

No.

Your witness, Mr. Blake.

You robbed that bank, didn't you?

- No, sir. - You did.

- No, sir, I didn't. - Did!

- Didn't! - Did!

Mr. Blake! That will be about enough of that.

No more questions.

Didn't.

Your Honor?

If I may, I'd like to call the sheriff back to the witness stand now.

Sheriff, after your close observation and extensive investigation,

can you say without any question or shadow of a doubt

that that bank was absolutely for a fact robbed?

You know, I... I figured you was gonna ask me that question.

- Object. - Sustained.

That's already been established.

Excuse me, Your Honor.

As long as he put it like that,

why, I mean, well, it looks like the bank was robbed,

but, well, I wouldn't feel that I was a-doin' my duty

unless I answered that question.

I will allow the question.

All right.

Now, Sheriff, can you say for an absolute fact that the bank was robbed?

No, sir, not for an absolute fact, I can't.

- Your Honor... - Overruled. Sit down.

Your Honor, will you give the sheriff a search warrant for the bank?

I don't think that'll be necessary. I'm sure Mr. Bradley won't object.

Where is Bradley?

I seen him go out the door just a minute ago.

- Well, how come you didn't stop him? - Why? He ain't a-goin' no place.

I'll give you a search warrant, Sheriff.

I don't need a search warrant.

Hoss, you stay here, you and Luke and John.

Where'd he go?

- He went into the bank. - Why didn't you go after him?

He had a gun.

Right down to the last penny.

Sheriff.

Why don't you fellas go back inside?

All right, you two, go round to the back door of the bank.

- Right. - What are you doin', Mr. Cartwright?

Helping.

The bank ain't got no back door.

Hey, Phil!

- Phil! - Phil!

Mr. Cartwright.

Hey, Phil, it's your old friend, Sheriff...

The way he's carryin' on, you'd think we was tryin' to rob the bank.

Oh, come on, Phil.

If you value our friendship, you'll cut that foolishness out right now.

Hate to have to do it this way.

Sheriff, mind if I try?

Go ahead.

Be careful.

Hey, Bradley!

Why don't you throw your gun out and come on out yourself?

I don't wanna go to jail.

Well, would you rather hang?

That's what's gonna happen if somebody gets killed.

I don't wanna go to jail.

Well, nobody wants to go, but it sure beats the heck out of hangin'.

You wanna give it to me, Phil?

Can I just carry it as far as the jail?

Why not?

- You tell the judge, will you? - Yeah.

Be glad to.

Boys, I don't know how to thank you for comin' in here and doin' what you did.

It took a lot of guts.

Heck, Hoss, what are pardners for?

Yeah. There's just one more favor I wanna ask of you.

Go over there and tell the judge the whole truth.

Mmm.

Well, we already done the hard part.

You see, Judge, we really didn't rob the bank, but we did try.

Well, there's a law against that too.

Yes, sir.

Well, are you confessing to attempted bank robbery?

Yes, sir.

Since you plead guilty and don't have a job, I'll have to send you to jail.

- Your Honor? - Yes, Mr. Cartwright?

Well, Your Honor, they... they do have a job, sir.

Working at my ranch.

Well, in that case, I could suspend sentence.

How long would the sentence be?

Ten years.

Mr. Cartwright, you got yourself a couple of hands.

But if ever I see you two in my courtroom again...

- Yes, sir. - No, sir, no.

Now, get out of my sight.

Court dismissed.