Original subtitles

The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC.

♪ He stirred but lightly

♪ Father came runnin' with a two-barreled gun

♪ Bullets were hummin' Now I'm on the run

♪ A travelin' man I like the life of a...

Whoa, whoa.

Peace, brothers. Love one another.

How'd you know we was brothers?

- I beg pardon, brother? - How did you know we were brothers?

LeRoy.

Why, we're all brothers in the eyes of heaven, aren't we?

Oh. Hallelujah. Blessed by the peacemakers.

I fear you gentlemen might be under a misapprehension.

I mean you no harm. I... I come in peace.

Just a poor wayfarin' stranger travelin' through this vale of tears,

spreadin' the word.

- Praise be. - You a preacher man?

Uh, pardon, brother?

Are you a preacher man?

Why, it all depends on your needs, brother.

I can quote you chapter, verse, phrase and line if it brings you comfort.

Ain't nothin' in there but dirty shirts and bibles, Red.

You gentlemen are welcome to one, with my compliments.

A bible, that is.

We're welcome to everything you got, mister.

Oh, now, wait.

It's comin' up Easter week, my busiest season. You can't just take my...

Say something appropriate for an epitaph, mister.

Why would you shoot a... a humble peddler?

'Cause we're the Gaskell brothers, that's why, and you seen our faces.

Gaskell? Gaskell?

Well, I've heard of the Daltons and the Jameses,

but I don't think I've ever heard of you.

That's because we're new in the west and we just begun getting famous.

But you're gonna be hearing a lot about us.

All right, Red, make him dead.

Now, wait a minute. If you make me dead, who's gonna make you famous?

Oh.

It's Gaskell with two Ls.

Wish you didn't hit him so hard, Red.

You dented my new hat.

Whoa.

Benjamin Cartwright.

Mr. Benjamin Cartwright?

- Ma'am. - I be a miss. Miss Charity Moffet.

- Oh. Yes, miss. - Call me friend.

I was informed thou dealt in cattle and I'd be interested in speaking business.

Well, yes, I have a fair-sized herd.

Now, were you interested in buying or selling?

Buying.

I pay thee cash on the barrelhead,

or, if thou prefer, a bank draft and a reference.

I have a letter from the Bishop of Boston.

- Well... - And mine own word.

How much livestock do you have in mind?

The Lord has been good to me.

I have a generous portion of land with lots of room for livestock,

the lambs I now have and the ones I expect in the near future.

You... You keep sheep?

I keep lambs.

Little lost lambs of the shepherd.

- Children. - Children?

- You have children? - 18.

And more welcome. Heaven willing.

18 children? Well...

Dost thou have any issue, Friend Cartwright?

Yes, I... I have three sons.

How fortunate thy sons be.

None of my flock has a father. They're orphans.

I'm sorry.

I run a school and keep house for them.

Oh. Oh!

Well, I'd be glad to help you any way I can.

Now, do you want these steers for market?

I'm afraid we've misunderstood each other.

I want these steers for milk.

Well...

Hey, Red, hold it.

I told you, we ain't ready for no bank jobs yet.

No, I mean this town, it's a mistake.

You said the same thing about Salt Lake City.

Everett was right. Salt Lake City was a mistake.

Them Mormons and their barter system.

There's no money in robbin' people don't use cash.

Hey, guys, can we keep walkin'?

My feet are fit to kill me when we stand still.

I told you them dude's shoes was too small for you

when you had all that trouble wrenchin' them off him.

But it seemed awful wasteful,

him lyin' there with a brand-new pair of shoes.

And you guys takin' all the good stuff, his chimin' pocket watch,

his elk's tooth cufflinks, his solid gold cigar cutter.

What solid gold?

Whoever heard of a bible salesman havin' anything solid gold?

- Yeah. - It's only plated.

What about them nice valises?

We given you the dude's new luggage, didn't we?

That ain't no luggage. That's his sample cases.

I tell you what, I'll trade you all the bibles in here

for his elk's tooth cufflinks.

All right, enough yammerin'.

Them bibles are gonna come in handy.

We can sweet-tongue our way into anywhere we want

with them good books under our arms.

No one's gonna recognize the kindly bible drummers

as the notorious Gaskell brothers obeying the laws of the scriptures.

How do you figure that?

Don't it say the Lord helps them who helps themselves?

- Yeah. - Don't it say that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

We're gonna help ourselves to Virginia City.

Oh, I wanna tell you, Charley, she had the prettiest ankles you ever did see.

So I went over to her and I said, "How would you like to do the Virginia reel?"

She said, "Well, I'm new in these parts, and you'll have to show me how."

So I took her out there on the floor

and everybody moved back to give us a little room.

I spun her round so hard,

her shoes and her tortoiseshell comb flew up in the hayloft.

Joe, if you could spin a rope like you can spin a story,

you'd be the champion calf-tier of the universe.

Is that so? You wait and see who's got the prettiest filly on his arm

at the dance Saturday night.

I don't know whether I'll have time to take a look-see or not.

Wells Fargo's waitin' for their wagon.

Puttin' these heavy-duty wheels on is gonna eat into my social hours.

What's the big hurry? Can't it wait till Monday?

To hear them tell it, they got two silver stampin' mills in Carson

that are just gonna be standin' there until the shipment rolls.

Those big dogs ought to keep the wagon from saggin' and draggin'.

Haven't seen a rig like this

since they shipped all that bank bullion up to Sacramento.

Yeah.

Oh, howdy.

Peace, brothers. Peace. Let's all love one another.

Good morning. Anything we can do to help you?

Yeah, save your souls. It's all there in the good book.

From the original sin to...

- A little hot for you, brother? - Nope.

Just don't take me too long to examine a horseshoe.

Hallelujah. Amen.

- Hallelujah, brother. - Amen!

Oh, it smarts.

Of course it smarts, stupid!

When I said see what you can pick up at the horse barn, I didn't mean...

Don't you know the difference between a hot horseshoe and a cold one?

- I do now. - You do now.

- But I did use my head. - How?

I picked up the horseshoe with my left hand.

- With your left hand? - My gun hand is quick as ever.

- If you let me use a gun. - When you're ready. When you're ready.

This mornin' was no total loss.

I picked something else up at the stable that seemed very interesting.

What, LeRoy? What?

The blacksmith was putting extra-heavy-duty wheels

on a Wells Fargo wagon.

And he said that the silver stampin' mills was waitin' for the shipment.

Now, ain't silver pretty heavy in big chunks?

Yeah.

Yeah.

300 head of prime beef

for the Central Pacific railroad crews at Point Summit,

Colonel Boudin commanding.

Check.

250 pack horses for the 13th Cavalry at Ford Folsom,

Captain Ryder commanding.

Check.

And one head of gentle milk for the Schuyler Vineyards,

Miss Moffet commanding.

Check.

One head of gentle mil...

Did I say one head of gentle milk?

Yes, you sure did.

I wrote that order up myself. Miss Charity Moffet.

At the old Viscaya Winery, you know, on the old trail to Carson.

That old place has been deserted

ever since they built the new road through the mountains.

Yeah, but this Miss Moffet, she's a spinster lady,

Quaker from down east, she turned the place into a home.

- Ah. - For her children.

- Spinster lady with children? - Mm-hm. 18 of 'em.

Of practically every age and race and color in God's rainbow.

Orphans, Hoss. Orphans.

Oh.

Miss Moffet runs a kind of church school for 'em.

Oh, I see. That would account for... One head of gentle milk would be a...

A nice gentle milk cow with a kind face.

Oh, no charge. Let's call it a contribution to Miss Charity.

Yeah. Very good.

Ain't no use moonin', Sarah. I'm gonna miss you too.

It ain't like we'll never see each other again.

I'll bet you two old girls will get along like a hand in a glove.

I'll find thee.

Ah! Almost caught thee.

Oh, my...

Whoever thou art, thou hast a kind face.

- Howdy, ma'am. - Thou wouldst be...?

Hoss Cartwright, ma'am.

I'm deliverin' one head of milk cow

to your mother or teacher or whatever you call her.

Who?

The nice old Quaker lady that's kind of in charge of this herd.

- Miss Charity Moffet? - Yeah.

- You? - The old Quaker lady.

- Thank thee for the nice. - Yeah. You sure don't look it, ma'am.

I mean old, not nice. I mean not not nice.

This here's Sarah.

Children, this be Sarah, and good friend Hoss.

- Let us give thanks. - Thank you.

All right, children, show Sarah to her quarters.

Old Sarah's a good old cow, ma'am.

She'll give you what she's got as long as you handle her properly.

- The Lord will provide, Friend Hoss. - Yes'm.

He'll find it a heap easier to provide

as long as whoever milks her sits on her left.

Ah.

If you ever need a man around here, ma'am, just give me a holler.

Thank you, Friend Hoss.

Oh, there is one little thing.

If you wouldn't mind stepping into the house for me.

Yes'm.

It is a small request, Friend Hoss,

one that will not cost thee money nor take unduly of thy time.

Ma'am, I'll be happy to help.

Our regular custodian, Friend Jonathan, has illness in his family

and has had to return to Boston.

I expect he will be absented for some spell.

Most certainly he will not be here this Easter morning.

Easter. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am.

Wouldst thou be available?

Oh, of course, ma'am. I'd be happy to take you to church.

You and the whole kit and caboodle.

We observe Easter right here.

I was hoping that thou couldst carry on in the capacity of Friend Jonathan.

Yeah, well, what exactly is the capacity of Friend Jonathan?

He helped me to sustain the traditional beliefs of the children.

Starting last year.

Well, I wouldn't wanna disrupt an old tradition like that.

I'll be happy to help out, ma'am.

Oh, Friend Hoss, thou art a gift from heaven.

I shall count on thy service, then, at sunrise?

Service?

Ma'am, I ain't... I ain't never been much of a religious fanatic.

I... I don't even know my New Testament from my Old.

But I... I reckon I could read something on it.

- Sunrise, you say? - Just before dawn.

- Yeah. - About 4:55.

Dressed traditionally, of course.

Traditionally?

Was this Friend Jonathan,

was he a Catholic, a Baptist, or a Christian, or what?

- A rabbit. - Oh, a rabbit.

A rabbit?

Friend Jonathan played the Easter Bunny.

Yes, ma'am, but Friend Hoss ain't never been no Easter Bunny before.

All thou has to do is to hide the colored eggs for the orphans' egg hunt,

as is the custom.

Oh, well, if that's all there is to it,

I'll see you Sunday morning, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Friend Hoss, I would like to see thee some time before then

when we can be alone.

Really?

For the fitting.

Fitting?

What... What sort of fitting?

For the traditional costume.

Oh, ma'am, you don't... I ain't gonna wear a... a...

And even the little...?

It be the only part of Friend Jonathan's outfit

that will fit thee without alteration.

And as thou thyself promised, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Yeah.

Pardon, sir.

I have here what every lonely soldier boy should have.

Can I sit down? Thank you.

Take a look at the edges on these pages.

Solid gold.

Do you have any idea what kind of a steady hand it takes

to gold-leaf each and every teensy-weensy edge on that page?

I bet a soldier boy like you gets to patrol or gang a gold shipment,

government payrolls an' all?

You look the kind Uncle Sam would pick. Cool hand, keen eye, closed mouth.

Me and my brother have often said how much we admire you boys in blue

who stand guard over those payroll shipments,

through the long nights and the darkness,

and the snow and the rain and the sleet,

and all for a lousy 17 dollars a month.

Yeah, while them civilians back east

sit on your porch, swingin' with your best girl,

laughin' at you for bein' so honest.

Me and my brother has always said if we come into any money,

we'd share it with the soldier boy who helped us get it.

The good book says money changers is evil.

Steal ye from the rich and give ye to the poor.

Robin Hood. Chapter 12, Verse 10.

So me and Everett's in the Silver Dollar,

which ain't much of a place to sell bibles, incidentally.

This Wells Fargo driver's liftin' a few, and he promised the barkeep

that he'd howdy the barkeep's old lady in Carson City.

Carson City?

Hey, let me see. Carson City.

They got a big silver stamping mill there.

And new wheels means there'll be a heavy shipment of silver

bouncing through the high pass to Carson.

Yeah, but there was a patrol of horse soldiers

dustin' themselves off in the saloon on the way back to Carson.

That new road is just crawlin' with Johnny Bluecoats.

Hey, and nobody's gonna be watchin' the old road

when we take possession of the silver shipment.

Well, why wouldn't the Wells Fargo, then, take... take the short way?

We're gonna arrange it so that the long way is the only way.

Here's what I got in mind.

So then this greenhorn says,

"No, it just doesn't take me very long to examine a horseshoe, that's all."

Then he gives us a couple more hallelujahs

and hotfoots it down the street like a rabbit with his tail on fire.

- Hey, don't you think that's funny? - A rabbit with its tail on fire?

- Yeah. - No, I don't.

Don't use up all that good smell, neither.

You know, brother, sometimes I really don't understand you.

It's not Saturday and you're takin' a bath.

You say you're not gonna see a girl, but you wanna use my bay rum.

You say you're not goin' anywhere, but you're goin' through all this.

Mr. Hoss, please?

Yeah, come on in and join the crowd, Hop Sing.

Mr. Hoss, Hop Sing not sure how many egg you order.

How many egg you order?

Oh, about... about a hundred ought to be enough.

A hundred eggs?

Sure gonna make awful big omelet. Awful big.

I don't want 'em for an omelet. Just hard-boil 'em.

And hop to it, Hop Sing.

Oh, you gotta be kiddin'.

I'll bet three to one even you couldn't eat a hundred eggs at one sitting.

These eggs ain't for eatin', Little Joe. They're for deliverin'.

Oh, you goin' into the hard-boiled-egg business, door to door?

I'm going to give 'em, not sell 'em.

Oh, any money in that?

Joseph, I'm givin' these eggs to a bunch of little orphan kids.

Oh, that's real nice. How come you got 'em all hard-boiled?

Some kids like 'em soft-boiled, some like 'em sunny side up.

How would you go about dying a fried egg?

Well, who'd wanna dye a fried egg?

Joseph, what you don't know about old traditional Easter costumes.

Costumes? Don't you mean Easter customs?

Well, that's... that's what I said, didn't I? Dag-rabbit.

Nabbit. Dag... Dagnabbit.

Hey, Miss Charity, I ain't much of one to go against tradition or nothin',

but if the Easter Bunny always hides the eggs

just before sunrise while it's still dark,

then how come he can't hide 'em at midnight the night before?

Oh, Friend Hoss.

Yeah. Forgot about the coyotes and the blue jays. They'd eat 'em up all right.

What if he... What if he just hid 'em, like, an hour before sunup?

I mean, that way the Easter Bunny

wouldn't have to be loppy-lopping around in a rabbit suit

and the kids couldn't see him 'cause it'd still be dark,

and you wouldn't be put to all this trouble.

I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Must be the pins in your mouth.

Friend Hoss, the Easter Bunny arrives at dawn

because the children look forward to getting up at dawn,

and each one wants to be the first

to spy the Easter Bunny hiding his goodies.

Yeah.

Friend Jonathan was a much smaller rabbit.

He used to perform in his long flannel underdrawers.

- If thou wouldst prefer... - No, no, no, no, no.

Thou art the tailor,

and thy will be done by dawn's early light.

I know vanity be sinful, but I cannot help thinking thou art beautiful.

Yeah, it... fits like a glove.

Uh, ma'am, one question. How do I get in and out of it?

Thou unbuttons thyself. And vice versa.

Yeah, but the buttons are in the rear. I can't get to 'em to vice or versa.

Thou wilt have to depend on the assistance of someone else,

like thy father or thy brother.

It might even be amusing to them.

Yeah. Yeah, you can count on that, ma'am.

One final touch.

Turn around.

There. How does that feel?

Oh, that feels just fine, ma'am.

Do you mind if I step out and get a little breath of fresh air?

- I'll be right back. - The children are studying.

- Do not let them see thee. - Oh, no, ma'am. No, ma'am.

I'll... I'll be right back.

Well, gentlemen. Come on, boys, put your back into it.

What are you, mice or men?

I never thought holding up a stagecoach was such a heavy job.

Digging graves in Flatbush was a cinch easier.

Yeah? And where'd you ever strike gold in Flatbush?

Yeah.

Hey, I thought that Fargo wagon was carryin' only silver.

Look, all business has got to start somewhere. Success...

Why don't I go round the front and see what's holdin' it up?

Will you shut up when I'm talkin'?

Now, success takes hard work.

Why you standin' there, LeRoy?

Go round the front and see what's hanging up this rock. Go on.

Success takes hard work, boys. You work hard, you get somewhere.

You sit here, you do nothin', nothin' happens. You understand?

Do something. Then something'll happen. All right?

All right! Try it now!

Try it now. Try it now. Go ahead.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whaa!

Oh... LeRoy.

Yeah, Red?

- LeRoy? - LeRoy.

Boy, that was close. I could have been killed.

- What are you doin'? - Just once. Let me kill him just once.

Oh, Red, come on!

Candy. It's all right. It's me. It's Hoss. It's all right.

I'm gonna let you breathe in a minute,

but you gotta promise you ain't gonna tell a soul about this,

even Pa or Little Joe, you hear?

I don't understand.

Well, you don't have to. All I want you to do is button me up in back.

In back of what?

I'll let you see in a minute. But first I'm gonna tell you one more thing.

If you laugh at me, Candy, I'll break every bone in your body, you hear?

You know, when I was little, I didn't believe in you.

Very funny.

Hoss?

That you?

Hi, Pa. What are you doin' up this time of the mornin'?

Huh? What time is it?

It's... It's Easter mornin'.

Yeah, I know, I know. What time is it?

Oh, I'd say roughly around 4:22.

4:22?

Honest. 4:22.

Wow. I'm late. I gotta get crackin', Pa. I'm going to a sunrise.

What are you bundled up in that mackinaw for?

I just threw it on.

You know how drafty these March mornings get around Easter.

I gotta get hoppin', Pa... ridin'.

I'll see thee... thou... you. I'll see you, Pa.

Hey, it's really not that cold out, you know.

Oh, hey, Pa, what are you doin' up this hour of the morning?

Are you riding out before breakfast too?

No. I just got in. I gotta get dressed.

Well, you are dressed.

No, these are my Saturday nights. I gotta put on my Sunday best.

Takin' a cute little gal to church this afternoon.

This after... What's your rush?

I gotta catch the early Wells Fargo. She... She lives in Carson City.

What's all the noise? What you doing up this time of morning?

Hop Sing no can sleep.

Hey! What's the matter with you?

All right, let's see some chips fly.

Come on, LeRoy, whack it.

That stage is gonna be here and gone

before you're halfway through cuttin' that little old tree.

Hey, timber!

Come on, step away. Let it fall across the road.

Oh, no.

All right, let's go.

Sorry about your good suit, Joe, but we gotta raise dust

if we're gonna make any time draggin' all that extra weight behind us.

Yeah.

Well, what do I know about choppin' trees?

How many trees grow in Brooklyn?

Come on. Come on.

We'll put the tree across the road and you go watch the horses.

Why? Where are they goin'?

They're gonna wait for us while we knock off the stagecoach.

And you're gonna watch 'em wait and stay out of trouble.

Well, what happens if you get into trouble, even without me?

If we get in trouble without you, we ain't in much trouble.

And while you're waitin', read a bible.

Good old faithful, trustful friend.

You ain't gonna run off and leave old Hoss this time, are you?

Good old pony, you.

You old good-for-nothin', flop-eared,

tray-back, rotten dang nag, you!

Chicken. Ain't you ever seen a rabbit before?

All right, where you hidin'?

Hey, Red, what was that?

Just for a wild guess, I'd say a gunshot.

Hey, but LeRoy's up there.

All right, where did he get the gun?

I think he might have found my rifle. I left it in my saddle whatchamacallit.

Then you go back and see which leg he shot himself in.

- Oh... - Go on. Go on.

All right, LeRoy. All right. What happened?

What happened, LeRoy?

- It was a rabbit. - What rabbit?

The biggest rabbit I ever seen in the whole world.

When it popped up and scared all the horses, I drew down on it.

But when I cocked the rifle, it turned around and it jumped me,

and it took away the rifle off of me.

You let a rabbit take a gun off of ya?

Well, you would too, Fred.

I mean, it was strong, honest.

But we heard a shot.

That's when I... when I jumped the rabbit.

And it turned around and it... and it... and it hit me with my own gun.

And that's when the rifle went off.

It's a good thing I was wearing my lucky hat,

otherwise I could have been killed.

You do believe me, don't you, Fred?

Well, the horses are gone and your hat is dented, that's for sure.

LeRoy, where's my rifle?

I'm sorry I bent it, Fred.

This big strong rabbit, LeRoy,

would you say he was... he was big as a grizzle bear?

Yes, he was big as a grizzle bear.

And would you say he was strong as a grizzle?

Yeah, he was strong as a grizzle.

And he was mean as a grizzle.

Then what makes you think he wasn't no grizzle?

'Cause he had white fur.

Polar bears got white fur.

He had a pink nose.

Maybe he got into a fight.

With a grizzle bear.

Then your grizzle bear...

pulled my polar bear by the ears,

'cause they was stretched out a yard.

Whoa.

Well, Joe, I hope your little Carson cutie

doesn't get too hot under her Easter bonnet,

but it begins to look like you ain't gonna get her to the church on time.

I guess there's no gettin' around it, huh?

Not that rock. We're gonna have to take the long cut.

Back up. Back!

Up and at 'em, kiddies.

Friend Sun will soon be peeping over the hill.

It's Easter morning.

You get up, you lazy lump.

Now, if we hurry, we might spy Friend Rabbit hopping about,

hiding his Easter goodies.

Yes, it's sure enough bent.

Are you sure you didn't hit yourself over the head with it?

It was the rabbit, Red. I swear to you on our father's grave.

We never had no father.

Shh!

Up there.

What? What?

Big ears. Pink and fuzzy.

- So? - And a yard long.

Hey, yeah, I think maybe I seen 'em too.

You see what I mean, Red?

Are you guys off your trolley?

You pumpernickels got buck fever.

You'd think this was the first stage heist we ever pulled.

Well, it is, ain't it?

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

All right, put the bandanas over your kissers.

Get behind the rocks.

Don't shoot until they get out of the wagon and move the tree.

- I don't have anything to shoot with. - Good.

I ain't neither.

Whoa!

Did you ever have one of them days

when every fly-bit, mangy, clotty, smutched-up...

Oh, take it easy, take it easy. Don't ruin your good disposition.

Besides, cussin' ain't gonna move that tree. Old sweat is gonna move it.

Guess you're right.

All right, men, now, stay cool and don't move until I say.

- Tell where that shot came from? - No.

All right, who did that?

Not me.

Well, we can now.

Make every shot count.

Red, I don't have a gun.

Why don't you let me help?

Poke your head up and draw their fire. Make them show themselves.

Oh, Red.

What are you worried about?

Do you know what kind of a shot it would take

to hit a little head like yours from way down there?

That kind of shot.

Hey, that come from the back of us.

Hey, Red, that's him, the monster rabbit.

Never mind that. Give me some more shells.

Come on, give me some shells.

Give me the shells.

If they're shootin' at us, they're the worst shots in the world.

Beats anything I ever saw.

Come on.

Oh. Oh!

All right, hold it.

Drop the guns.

Drop it!

Let's go. Move it.

You three, you come with me. You got a tree to move.

Whoa, boy. Whoa, boy.

Whoa, boy.

See what a nice egg the Easter Bunny's got for you?

Huh? Whoa, boy. Whoa, boy.

Whoa, boy.

Whoa, boy.

Whoa, boy.

Nice horsey. Nice horsey.

Two against four.

It would have been an even fight

if that rabbit didn't spook our horses and jump us from behind.

Yeah, big as a grizzle bear, with mean eyes and a little pink nose.

Will you quit embarrassin' me with that loony story?

All right, that's far enough. Come on, let's go.

Come on, move it up! Come on, let's go.

All right, everybody, get in. You can ride on the freight.

It's a long, bumpy ride to Carson City.

We get to sit with the silver you're lugging to the stamping mill.

You know, the ones you said was standing idle waitin' for the shipment.

They weren't waitin' for silver. They were waitin' for gears.

Gears?

Gears.

All right, let's go. Climb in.

All right, let's go.

Gears.

Let's move it.

Yes, children, I know you be impatient because the Easter Bunny was late,

but he had so much territory to cover.

But we did finally catch a glimpse of him, didn't we, scurrying about?

- Yes, Miss Charity. - All right, then.

Let's see if we can find where Friend Rabbit hid his goodies.

Whoa, you gnarly stupid nag!

Whoa! Whoa! Stupid!

- I found one! - I found one!

- Me too! - Wonderful. Let's see what colors.

- Black. - Black.

- Me too. - Black Easter eggs?

No, Miss Charity, books. Friend Rabbit brought us all new black books.

Is it a good book?

Indeed, Jennifer. It be the good book.

One for each and all of us.

Miss Charity, Miss Charity! You know what?

- What, Randall? - The road.

I think I seen the Easter Bunny lipperty-lopping down it.

- But I'm not sure. - Oh? Why?

Well, he was lipperty-lopping on the back of a buckin' horse.

Can rabbits say "whoa, stupid"?

Who knows what miracles heaven works, its blessings to conceal?

Yeah, who knows?

Boy, that black stallion you brought back with you

sure is a handsome, high-spirited animal.

What did you pay for him?

Well, I... I didn't have to pay nothin' for him exactly, Pa.

You see, I traded for him. That's what I done.

I traded old Ned for him.

You traded that skittish old hay-burner for that beauty?

- Even up? - Well, not exactly even up.

I had to throw in a few hard-boiled eggs.

Oh.

I tell you, Hoss, sometimes I think you were born with a lucky rabbit's foot.

Have a carrot?

I don't even like carrots.