Original subtitles

The following program is brought to you in living color on NBC.

Traveling all these miles together, be a shame not to keep in touch.

You look me up, now, whenever you get to town.

No, I don't believe I will.

- Thank you. - Why not? I'll buy you a beer.

- I don't drink, mister. - Well, coffee. What about coffee?

Help yourself. Me, I pick my own friends.

Thanks for stoppin'. Go ahead and take it away.

Ha! Heeyah! Yah! Yah!

Hand me down that carpetbag there, will you, friend?

Whiskey.

Double or nothing.

People like you take all the sport out of drinkin'.

I was on the verge of despair.

You still are. I'm not gonna loan you any money, Charlie.

I got somethin' that's too big for me to handle.

I was hopin' against hope, and what do I find? The best in the business.

Not one red cent.

It's big and easy.

He's a greenhorn like you wouldn't believe.

Hayseeds in his hair and money comin' out his ears.

Somebody's gonna clean him like that.

Unless you and me do it first.

Tell me more.

Hey, Pa, look who's here.

Hey, Keller. Chris Keller.

- How are you? Good to see you. - Fine, fine.

- When'd you get in? - Just a little bit ago.

Saw him down the road about four miles, walkin'.

Well. How'd you make out in the goldfields? Any luck?

- I found a little gold. - Yeah?

I told him he could have his old job back.

Oh, sure. Course you can.

Hey, what's a big gold operator like you wantin' to work as a cowhand for?

Well, I figured if a man's got a little money, he ought to be happy.

But it didn't work out that way.

People are always hangin' around me, slappin' me on the back,

calling me friend and pard, always tryin' to get my money.

- It was enough to gag a rattlesnake. - Yeah, some people are like that.

Sure will be a pleasure to get out there in the bunkhouse and get settled.

Of course, the best way to protect yourself

is to say as little as possible about your money.

That's just what I got in mind.

It's especially important right now, Chris.

There's a bunch of confidence men in town.

Sheriff doesn't know who they are,

but he does know a lot of people have been swindled.

Now, if it were to become known that you had struck it rich...

they'd be on your back in no time.

- How much did you make? - Oh...

67,000.

67,000?

Hey, friend, pard.

We... We wanna talk to you about a couple of things.

No, don't you dare talk to anybody about how much money you made.

You're not carrying it around with you, are you?

No I... I bought me a letter of credit.

That's a good idea. Oh, another good idea.

You take that letter of credit into the bank first thing in the morning.

Oh, and if anybody tries to sell you the city hall or the county jail cheap,

you tell us about it.

- Come on, let's get settled. - Thanks, Mr. Cartwright.

Listen, did you ever think about buying a bunkhouse?

I never use the bunkhouse out there and I'd like to unload it.

67,000 dollars?

Gentlemen.

Charlie Fitch.

The Alderman.

- Hoby Miles. - How you doin'?

- Walt King. - My pleasure.

What did you wanna see us about, Art?

Charlie says he's lined up a sucker for us here in town.

I thought you wanted to go on to Denver in the mornin'.

This could be good.

Art, we've made five scores here already. No fixin' with the sheriff.

I figure it's time to move on.

I think we ought to be able to pull off one more without any trouble.

Depends if it's worth it, how much money this chump's got.

Charlie?

Story is, he made it pretty good in the goldfields.

You're the double-jointed fella they call Loose Charlie?

That's me.

He falls in front of carriages,

throws himself out of joint and yells and carries on.

What do you pick up for a thing like that? 15, 20 bucks?

Yeah, generally.

His idea of a big score and ours might be something different.

Charlie put me on to something good a couple of years ago.

This could run maybe three, four thousand dollars.

Oh, more like five times that.

Second thought, maybe we'd better take a look at this chump.

Indeed.

So that's the mark. Looks like a real cinch.

There's a couple of problems.

I'll see how quick I can pick him up, buy him a few drinks.

- Oh, he doesn't drink. - All right. Pie and coffee.

Stay with him. We'll get him in a game tonight.

- He doesn't gamble. - We'll teach him.

He knows. He's against all forms of wagering.

- That knocks out poker. - And the race wire.

We'll let the Alderman try the stock market swindle.

- Uh-uh. - Why not?

He's a country boy. You say stock and he thinks you mean cows.

Charlie, is there anything else you haven't told us about this yahoo?

Well, he tips his hat to ladies.

- And he's honest. - How honest?

All the way, straight as a arrow.

- His name is Christian Keller. - And is he ripe for picking. I mean...

Don't count on it.

Charlie, thanks for nothin'.

He deposited 67,000 dollars.

- Are you sure? - Positive.

Well, it may be a little time-consuming,

but I guess we're going to have to sell him something.

Yeah.

Mm-hm.

And what kind of company was that again?

A patent reaper company.

Patent reaper company.

Well, that has a rich, full sound.

And how did they pick you up?

I was sittin' there havin' a cup of coffee and this fella comes up to me.

- Walt his name is. - Mm-hm.

And he says did I drop my wallet?

And sure enough underneath my chair there's this wallet.

So you looked into it and you found out who owned it, hmm?

That's right. Mr. Hoby Miles.

And the wallet was stuffed with money.

Was it?

So, of course, you took the wallet right back to Mr. Hoby Miles at the hotel.

And Mr. Miles just happened to own a patent reaper company.

That's right.

You know, I was findin' wallets all the time up north.

Well, they sure didn't waste any time, did they?

No. But they didn't try and sell me anything.

They just kept talkin' about how much money

the stockholders in this company are gonna make.

But they... they did say I could see the plans.

Did they?

And when do you see these people again?

In the morning, and I asked 'em if I could bring a friend along,

and they... they said he'd be welcomed.

Very good.

I look forward to seeing a patent reaper.

There you are, gentlemen.

This little beauty will revolutionize harvestin'.

We already have orders for more of these machines

than we can possibly manufacture in a year.

You know, I think that could be a very big success.

It already is.

Well, when I was here before, you said something about stock.

- Walt said that... - Walt? What did Walt say?

He said maybe we could buy some stock.

He did, did he? What'd you say that for?

You know every share of stock was spoken for months ago.

- I thought, Mr. Miles... - That's the problem. You didn't think.

Now, gentlemen, I thought you came up here to see these drawings.

I never dreamed Mr. King would give you the idea you could buy stock.

I've... I've refused old friends, even members of my own family.

Oh, well, I'm very sorry. I... I'm sorry we've troubled you.

No, no, wait, now.

Mr. Miles, Mr. Keller here's a friend of yours.

He returned your wallet with more than a thousand dollars in it.

He's a honest man, a deserver.

I admit that, but...

And Mr. Keller's friend, Mr. Cartwright,

why, he owns one of the largest ranches hereabouts.

He could be a great help in gettin' the reaper sales started in this area.

Think about it, Mr. Miles.

You'll be helpin' a man who helped you,

and also helpin' your reaper company.

Well, now, there was a block of stock

I was savin' for a man who was supposed to be here two days ago.

He hasn't shown up yet.

So, under the circumstances, I suppose I can let you have that.

Thank you, Mr. Miles.

It'll be expensive.

Cost you 71,000 dollars.

Well, I haven't got that much.

Well, Chris, I... I just might be able to come up with the difference.

Cash or certified check no later than tomorrow mornin'.

Yeah, well, we could... we could get over to the bank and get things started.

- Thank you very much. I... - It's all right.

It's awfully nice of you to allow us to participate in this.

It's all right.

Reasonable profit on an investment is always welcome.

But this also offers us a chance to help every rancher in Nevada.

All right, gentlemen, we'll see you shortly.

Hey, Hoby, you're a jim-dandy!

Well, I was in top form, if I do say so myself.

And so was Ben Cartwright.

Oh, Cartwright and that Chris fella are comin' up with the money.

Mm-hm. In marked bills, with the sheriff in the next room.

Don't you know a smart man when you see one?

A man like Ben Cartwright isn't going to make a heavy investment

after one meeting in a hotel room.

Pack your things, both of you.

You're leaving town right now.

I guess we'd better.

This teaches me the virtues of humility.

What about you?

- Mr. Blackwell? - Hmm?

Hoby wants to know what you're gonna do.

You never give up, not you.

A wise man knows when it's time to quit.

What happened, Ben?

I'll tell you what happened, Clem.

Mr. Miles and company have disappeared.

Vamoosed. Checked out.

I'll be... I had the room next door rented.

I was gonna wait till you handed them the money and then nail 'em.

Now, what could have spooked 'em?

Maybe we were too willing to buy.

Well, we chased 'em out of town anyway.

I mean, that's not as good as puttin' 'em in jail, but it's something.

It is? Well, it's a job for me is what it is.

I've gotta try and pick up their trail now.

Yes, you do, Clem. Good luck.

Thanks a lot, Ben.

Well, let's get back to work.

Whoa, whoa!

Help! Help!

Whoa!

Help! Help!

Come on, hold it, hold it! Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

Help! Help!

Help! Whoa! Help!

Oh!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa.

Whoa.

- Whoa! - Whoa.

Oh!

Whoa there.

You all right, lady?

Oh, yes, I'm fine.

I've been dragged across what must have been half of Nevada

by a runaway horse that was guaranteed gentle and trustworthy.

I've been battered and bruised.

Yes, I'm just fine.

Yeah, I guess you are.

- What do you mean? - Just fine.

Otherwise you wouldn't be able to make a speech like that if you weren't.

- You're sure of that? - Pretty sure.

Well, he's... he's settled down now. What scared him? Why'd he run away?

He saw a snake in the road.

Oh, see, there, that's why he took off.

Here you go. Let me help you down.

All right.

Oh!

Whoa, whoa. Whoa.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh, that's all right. I should be getting used to it.

I'll just hold him and you get on down.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Okay.

All right.

Thank you. I was beginning to think you didn't know much about horses.

Yeah, could be, but I know more about horses than I do about ladies.

Oh?

I think it's a mistake to ask this, but I'm going to anyway.

Just what do you mean by that?

Nothing, except I thought you might get mad at me again

for the horse gettin' scared.

Oh, no, anything but.

I certainly haven't been very polite, have I?

You saved my life, and I've scolded you as if the whole thing were your fault.

- I was thinking it was. - I'm sorry.

I can't even thank you properly. I don't know your name.

Chris, ma'am. Chris Keller.

Charity McGill. And I do thank you.

You're welcome.

Look, Miss McGill, why don't you get up here in the buggy?

It's all right. Go on.

And I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll go to the Ponderosa. I work there.

Not too far from here.

Both you and your horse can get rested up.

- You ever heard of the Ponderosa? - No.

Biggest ranch in these parts. Mr. Cartwright owns it.

Well, you know more about ladies than you think you do.

Let's go!

Well, I think I've got that horse all settled down now.

Well, I guess I'm all settled down too. Well, I'd better get started.

Miss McGill, it's a long ride to Virginia City.

It wouldn't be any trouble if you'd like to stay over

or you want one of us to drive you back.

Oh, you've done quite enough already, Mr. Cartwright. Thank you so much.

- You're more than welcome. - Goodbye, and thank you all.

- Nice meeting you. - I'll walk you to the buggy.

I'm afraid I'll never be able to repay you, Mr. Keller.

Well, don't think anything about it.

Strikes gold and rescues a pretty girl. Some fellas have all the luck.

- Yeah, well... - She's kind of cute.

Seems very nice.

- Mr. Cartwright? - Hmm?

If I get all those strays in this afternoon, can I have tomorrow off?

Uh, yes, I... I suppose so.

Any particular reason you'd like to have the day off?

Uh, I... just thought I'd ride into Virginia City.

Well, he's got money in the bank.

He probably wants to go in and watch it grow.

Miss McGill.

- Good morning, Mr. Keller. - Morning.

Hey, can I give you a hand?

Well, I would appreciate that. Just up to the hotel?

Uh-huh.

How have you been?

Fine.

Uh, lemon drop.

Trying to chew it up quick so I can talk.

Do you have any peppermint?

- Help yourself. - Thank you.

I have an awful sweet tooth.

- So do I. - I go around like this half the time.

Say, did you get back to town all right the other day?

No, I was captured by Indians, bought by a band of wandering gypsies

and finally rescued by the cavalry.

- That sounds terrible. - It was. I nearly missed dinner.

Ah. Fish hooks.

I know. They're too big.

- No, they're about right. - Mm-mm. They're too big.

- I don't like to dispute a lady, but... - Well, don't, then.

- Have you done any fishing? - Certainly.

What kind?

- Chub, dace, catfish. - Well, there you are.

And trout and salmon. These things must be for sharks.

- Do you like to fish? - Oh, yes.

So do I.

Miss McGill, I, uh...

Yes?

Nothing. Forget it.

Well, it was awfully nice seeing you again, Mr. Keller.

And thank you very much.

My pleasure.

Well, goodbye.

Bye.

Miss McGill.

I, uh... I don't suppose you'd...

Yes, I would. I'll be ready first thing in the morning.

Oh, and those fish hooks are too big.

Oh!

Oh, thank you.

I couldn't believe it. It was so hysterical.

- I never thought I... - Shh.

- What? - You'll scare the fish.

That's superstition. Fish can't hear.

What you have to watch out for is letting your shadow fall on the water.

Oh, your shadow's not gonna fall on the water this time of day.

Look at there.

Hmm.

And... here.

- Worms. - Oh, no.

Set deep, I suppose.

Of course.

Grasshoppers. On the surface.

Charity, your ignorance is pitiful.

I'm gonna go downstream and work that for a while.

Hey, it's a pure waste of time.

We'll see.

- Hey, Charity? - Hmm?

- How you doing? - Oh, so-so.

How are you doing?

Oh, I...

- Uh, Charity? - Hmm?

Can I borrow one of your grasshoppers?

I've had a wonderful time, Chris.

So have I.

May I have my key, please?

Maybe tomorrow I can... I can get off early

and come into town and I'll... I'll take you to supper.

Is there anything wrong?

I don't think so.

Well, are you sure?

It's just some business. You go along, Chris. I'll talk to you later.

If you say so. Charity?

It's all right, Chris.

You got the heaviest end.

Howdy.

- Howdy, Mr. Cartwright. - Everything all right?

Sure. Couple more hours and we'll have her finished.

- Good. See you later. - Mr. Cartwright?

Yeah?

- Can I speak to you for a few minutes? - Sure, Chris.

I was over takin' a look at Ed Newhall's place the other day.

- He's thinkin' of sellin'. - Oh, yeah.

I was just wondering what you thought about it.

Well, Ed Newhall's place, there's good land there.

Nice little... Nice little house.

Good outbuildings too.

- My impression too. - Mmm.

Just needs a little work.

- Are you interested? - Yeah.

Well, since those swindlers took off, I thought I'd put the money to good use.

Buying a ranch, huh?

Yeah, I know it's reaching kind of high, but...

well... Charity McGill's the finest girl I ever met.

Well, now. You're thinking of getting married too?

Yeah, I'm... I'm thinkin' about it.

I haven't asked her yet. I haven't got up the nerve.

I don't know what she'll do when I... when I do ask her.

You mean you... you don't know her well enough

to know what she's liable to say?

Well, sure I do.

I know that her father died recently

and that she lives in Sacramento and she's here on business.

And there's this fella that's giving her some kind of a problem.

But I expect everything's gonna work out all right. Sure hope so.

Yeah, yeah, so do I, Chris. Sure do.

Meanwhile, getting to know her better is all to the good.

You know, marriage is for a long, long time.

Over on the Russian River, I tied into a big old steelhead.

Boy, did he give me a fight.

We're not doing very well today, are we?

No.

What time is it?

Oh, one, 1:30, in there. Why?

Well, I have to be back to see the lawyer this afternoon.

There's still time.

Honey, if there's anything I can do to help.

No, no, it's just some affairs of my father's.

Go on with the story.

Oh, well, I... I rassled with him for 20 minutes, a half hour, easy.

He was a real old sockdolager.

That big.

That's the gospel.

How big?

More like that.

I thought so.

- What did I do? - I've got a bite!

Oh!

Well, there's nothing more I can do here, so I guess I'll go on home.

How soon?

Day after tomorrow.

It's kind of sudden.

Yes, I suppose.

When will you be coming back?

I don't believe I will. I mean, there's no real reason to.

Guess not.

You can come visit me.

No, I don't think I want to.

I'll write to you.

Will you miss me?

Whoa.

Charity, you're not going anywhere,

'cause I love you and we're gonna get married.

Aren't we?

I was hoping you'd ask that. And dreading it at the same time.

What for?

- I can't, Chris. - Why not?

You can't ask a man to take on a lot of unwanted problems.

Well, not if you really and truly love him.

Well, when my daddy died,

about the only thing he left was the Ledbetter Number Six.

That's a gold mine just below here.

Yes. I know it.

Well, about two weeks ago, I got a letter from this man Arthur Blackwell

saying that he had mortgages and liens against the mine

and if I didn't pay them, he was gonna take the mine.

I don't understand your problem, Miss McGill. Let him take it.

That mine was worked out years ago.

No, Daddy said he found a new vein. But that's not the point.

Mr. Blackwell's been saying that my father salted the mine

and falsified the assay to swindle him.

Well, I'm not going to let this man blacken my father's memory.

I see.

I told Charity I had some money

and the easiest thing in the world was for me to get her out of debt.

Well, I don't think you should do that.

Chris, you realize what you're saying?

I mean, when you strip it all away,

what you'd be doing is buying a gold mine.

As long as it'll help Charity.

Well, it would have to be a loan, Chris, with a new assay,

and the proper papers drawn up and everything.

What is the amount of the debt?

65,000 dollars.

Hmm.

Well, well, well.

If you like, we'll... we'll help you take the assay.

I mean, getting ore samples out of an old mineshaft

is no work for a young lady.

That's very nice of you. I'd appreciate that.

Of course. I'll... I'll...

I'll write a note for you to sign,

giving us permission to be on your property.

- Thank you, Mr. Cartwright. - Not at all.

I want you to get over to that mine right away tonight.

Don't let anybody near it.

Why, what do you think?

It's a rather unusual story we just heard.

Oh, Hoss is down with the south herd.

Drop by there and tell him to meet us at the mine.

I'll join you there in the morning.

We just may be able to settle a couple of things.

Ah, this hot coffee tastes good.

- Boy, it got cold last night. - Ooh! You're not kiddin'.

Hyah!

Hyah!

Whoa.

How's it goin'?

- Have any visitors? - No, no, no one.

Not at all?

Well, from the looks of this place, nobody's been here in a year.

Well, I've got the equipment here.

We'll get some samples all along the shaft.

- Every five feet or so. - All right.

I wanna get some core samples too.

About six feet into the face.

Well, might as well get started.

I figure these samples are worthless.

I don't see how there could be anything of any value in that mine.

At least Charity's been honest about it.

She's the one that wanted the assay report.

I'm still troubled by the fact that the amount of money that she owes

happens to be almost exactly the amount of money that Chris has in the bank.

- Isn't that strange? - I think it's just a coincidence.

- You're barking up the wrong tree. - I hope so.

Meanwhile, let's... let's stick to the plan.

If anybody tries to salt those samples, let 'em, look the other way.

- All right. - I'll wait here for Hoss.

- Pull up on the street there. - Yeah, yeah, all right.

Whoa. Whoa.

We can leave it out here and watch from the inside.

Well, that'll give them the chance they want. And we can have a beer.

Not a bad idea.

Why don't you keep an eye out and I'll get the beers?

- There you go. - Well...

Two hours and not even a nibble.

Two free beers and a free lunch. It wasn't all wasted.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

You bring rock to Maybe So Office?

Maybe So Office?

Maybe so you get rich. Maybe so you don't.

Maybe so.

Yeah, maybe.

Ah, young men in search of a fortune,

bringing in a wagonload of high-grade ore for the assay office.

Solid gold rocks.

I can tell by the feel of them.

It's really our day for dingbats, isn't it? Let's get this stuff inside.

Well, Miss McGill, won't you sit down?

Thank you.

The... This assay report was brought back about an hour ago

by Joe and Candy.

Now, uh...

most of the samples were proved worthless.

That's to be expected.

But according to this report,

apparently there's a vein of ore in that mine

which assays out at an average of 2,500 dollars a ton.

- Hey, that's great. - I never doubted it.

That's almost exactly the same figure Daddy had.

Now all we have to do is get the money to Mr. Blackwell

and we'll have everything nailed down for you.

- For us. - There's one other thing.

This report is based on one set of samples.

We took two sets, as identical as we could possibly make them.

My son Hoss is having the second set assayed in Carson City right now.

- Well, isn't that unusual? - Just an added precaution.

It's more than that.

Well, let Mr. Cartwright tell me.

Well, if the... if the two reports agree,

then everything's all right, there's no problem.

If they don't...

He's saying there's something funny going on.

- Like what? - Something.

- That's why he's getting two assays. - Well, I think it's a good idea.

- I don't. - Oh, Chris, stop fussing.

It's time we were leaving.

Well, please let me know as soon as you get the report.

- Of course. - Thank you.

You got the second report, huh?

Well, the samples were the same as the others.

Not quite.

The best of these samples showed a value of a dollar six.

That mine's been mined out.

The samples were just like the other ones.

We got 'em at the same time from the same places.

Sorry, Chris.

She was trying to swindle me all the time.

That's what she was trying to do.

She wouldn't accept any help

after I told her you were waitin' for a second report.

I had to beg her to take the money.

- But she did take it? - Sure she did.

Now I'm not sure if I can get it back. But I'm gonna try.

I'd appreciate if you'd ride along with me.

Sure.

Ah, my darling niece. Where are you going?

Well, I was gonna leave Virginia City, but I wanted to see you first.

Commendable.

Since you have the money that we all jointly earned from that young man.

We do have to split it up.

Well, I've been thinking about that.

- Uncle Arthur, I've made a decision... - Of course you have, my dear.

All beginners come to that same decision the first time out.

It's just buck fever.

Come on, we'll have that little talk, hmm?

A great day, gentlemen. Truly a great day.

That's right, Art. I mean Mr. Blackwell.

There. Bleed, you rascal.

Ah, greatest little invention since the wheel.

Salt anything and everything with a liquid essence of gold.

You are a good man. So are you, Charlie.

From now on, you stick with us.

Much obliged.

And now let us drink to that little lady

without whose feminine charms and quick wit,

none of this would have been possible.

Hear! Hear.

To you, my dear niece, our heartfelt thanks.

You did well on your first venture into the confidence world.

Extremely well.

Pity you had an attack of conscience.

My dear, you must learn,

never give a sucker his money back.

The real pity is, you could have been one of the great ones.

So...

Hail.

Farewell.

We won't be long.

This way.

Hoby Miles' room.

- Start talkin' any time. - I'm sorry, Chris.

Sure you are. They got you tied up here like a Christmas turkey.

- No wonder you're sorry. - Who tied you up, Miss McGill?

My uncle and his bunch. They're on their way to Carson City.

They said they were going to Denver, but I know they're going to Carson.

When did they leave?

30, 40 minutes ago. In a buggy.

Chris, I know you're not gonna believe this,

but I was trying to bring the money back, all of it,

when Uncle Arthur caught me.

You're right, I don't believe it.

Come on, let's go find 'em.

Hey, look at this.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, wait! I'm going with you.

Yah! Yah!

Yah!

They're just comin' up behind us.

Whoever you are, I'll make you a deal!

We'll give you half the money, we'll keep half, and you let us go!

No deal! Come out with your hands up!

Charlie.

Maybe if we gave all the money back, we'd only get about nine or ten years.

Don't be a fool.

All right, you let us go, we'll leave the money behind!

Otherwise I'll burn it up, every dollar!

On the table.

Come on, up, up.

My money's here and a lot more.

They must have got it from another fella.

Six weeks' hard work,

and we let a chump like you take it away from us.

There's no justice in the world.

Your fault.

My kin, but... you don't take after my side of the family.

Well, I'm sure my fiancé won't mind.

- Your who? - My fiancé. Fella named Chris Keller.

We're going to be married.

We're gonna be what?

I know you won't believe this now, but it's true.

I found out I couldn't steal, not even once,

'cause I love you, you big galoot.

And I'll convince you if it takes the rest of my life.

It won't take that long.

I love you, Chris, honest.

Those are the prettiest words I ever heard.

I'll make him a good wife, really.

You know something, Chris? I believe she will.

All right, boys, move on. Come on, up here.