Original subtitles

Ooh, ooh, ooh, mom, check

This out.

This college has a 4-to-1

Student-to-teacher ratio, 2

Dozen varsity sports, and a

Math-science building that

Rivals any ivy league college in

The country.

Mm! This is it.

This is the one.

Calvin, isn't this too soon

To be making plans for your

Little baby?

Go. Go now. Go. Out. Bye.

Stop, baby.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

What's the rush, baby?

Baby, big jesse gonna be here

Any minute.

Wait th big jesse?

He's real?

Yes, he's real.

We trained together at the

Academy, fought our first fire

Side by side.

He saved my life at the...

Together: great dupree

Factory inferno.

We know. We know.

Good.

Then get this mess up out of

Here, please.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This isn't mess.

I'm showing mom schools for the

Baby.

What?

You haven't even graduated yet.

And the rate you're going, the

Baby gonna graduate before you

Do.

Calvin, miranda is only six

Months pregnant.

Next thing you know, you'll have

The baby reading in the womb.

Whoa, that's a great idea.

I can put headphones on her

Stomach.

No. Calm down.

It was just a joke.

Hey, baby. Hey, baby.

You know big jesse could read in

The womb.

And you know that ain't easy, as

Dark as it is.

We know, pops.

Big jesse is the baddest man

That ever lived.

That's right.

He's the baddest man that ever

Lived.

Big jesse didn't put out fires.

He didn't have to.

But big jesse did save my life,

Now.

And we're gonna roll out the red

Carpet for him, baby.

I want everything to be perfect.

Curtis, everything is fine.

Everything except one thing.

Calvin is still here.

Whoa, whoa.

Bye.

I'll see you later, and I'll

Let you know what happens with

The school.

> bye.

Curtis, baby, I don't see

What the big deal is about this

Big jesse.

He's just a man.

[ gasps ]

Watch your mouth, ella.

You know that he's not just a

Man.

Big jesse is a legend, okay?

This the payne bar.

This the big jesse bar.

Payne bar, big jesse bar.

Did I hear somebody mention

Bar?

Big man!

Little man!

Who the man?

You the man!

[ both laugh ]

Save me, jesse!

I'm saving. I'm saving.

Save me, jesse!

Don't burn up!

Don't burn up!

Ah! Help ella out!

Check this out, right?

I got this rookie slumped over

My shoulder, right?

Yeah.

And I'm looking at about 12

Flights of stairs.

Oh, my goodness.

Was you overcome with smoke?

No, no, no, because right

When we opened the door, the

Lady's pet squirrel jumped out

At him and went, "Aah!"

[ both laugh ]

Oh, the pet squirrel!

Baby, pet squirrel said, "Aah!"

Aah! Curtis!

Unh!

Oh, now, that is amazing.

Baby, ain't that amazing?

Yes, curtis, it sure is.

In fact, it was for the first

Four times I heard it.

Oh, big jesse, you are in

Curtis' chair.

Oh, I better get up, then!

No! Ella!

Baby, how you gonna do that?

That's jesse. That's our guest.

You sit down in that chair.

That's your chair long as you

Here.

Ella payne, you beautiful

Thing, I spilled some snacks.

Ain't it a shame?

[ both laugh ]

I was trying to hear where

You was gonna go with it!

You just flipped it right over!

Didn't know I was gonna do

That one!

Aah ha ha!

Oh, big jesse -- ha ha --

You so messy.

[ laughter ]

Baby, why don't you go ahead

And get this up for him?

Curtis.

Baby, come get this mess up,

Please.

[ scoffs ] Curtis.

Um...Why you have to ask

Her twice?

I don't know, big jesse.

I ain't never seen her like

This.

She's excited.

Ain't never seen her like this.

Curtis, you got it good here,

Man.

[ snacks crunching ]

Ohh.

He got it on his shoe.

He's doing that on purpose.

Beautiful home, man.

You the king of your castle,

Man.

The what?

Just trying to be like you,

Big jess.

[ both laugh ]

Ella!

You're a rare gem.

You remind me of my late wife,

Diana.

[ chuckles ]

She must've been a saint.

She was a saint.

She had to be.

Ohh!

Hey, big jesse, we got a big

Surprise for you.

What you got?

[ laughs ]

Well, ella has prepared your

Favorite, huh, baby?

A country ham...

[ both laugh ]

...For a country ham.

Ella!

Ha ha ha.

Oh, oh, oh, I should've

Mentioned this earlier, but

Since I moved out west, I'm

Trying to eat a little healthier

Now, you know -- no salt for the

Ticker and no malt liquor.

That's what it is.

Okay.

Doing that healthy thing now.

I'm doing the healthy thing,

Man.

Okay, well, let me get rid

Of these.

I don't know why in the world

She --

Baby, why'd you get pretzels?

Look at all the salt on there.

Come on, now, baby.

Think, ella. You got to think.

Curtis, you bought these.

I mean, it was my money.

[ laughs ]

She the one that picked them up,

Trying to kill both of us.

[ laughs ]

Diana used to buy me

Barbecue-flavor rice cakesssss.

Well, we gonna get it.

She was looking out for you.

We're gonna get some of them

For you.

Baby, go get the rice cakessss.

Oh, now, now, now, you might

Have to go three or four places

'cause they're hard to find.

Now, if you find them, make sure

You get the little ones, not the

Big ones.

I want the little ones.

You want the little ones?

The little ones.

The minis.

The minis. Yeah.

Baby, get the minis.

Don't get the big ones.

[ both laugh ]

She gonna get those for you.

She'd love to get those, right,

Ella?

Mm-hmm.

Go get them, baby.

"What goals at present do you

Have for your child?"

How about being born?

Okay. I got it.

Well, everybody is gonna say

President or astronaut.

Write...

"Director of stem-cell

Research."

Okay. You know what?

Maybe your mom is right.

Maybe we're doing this a little

Prematurely.

No, no, baby.

We got to get in line now.

But the public schools in our

Area are great.

But the tiburon school is the

Greatest in the country.

Check this out. I'm a wordsmith.

Oh, boy.

Write this -- "As parents, it

Is our intention to educate --"

Wait, wait, wait. Thesaurus.

"Intention." "Intention." okay.

Oh, goodness.

"It is our sustained,

Unbroken" -- write --

"Commitment to catechize and

Indoctrinate our child so that

He or she --"

No, no, no, no, no, baby.

I need a break. I need a break.

Catechize? What is "Catechize"?

Okay, fine, fine, fine.

Let's take a picture for the

Application.

Sit down.

A photograph?

Yes, and a home visit if

We're lucky enough to get to

That stage.

But, baby, we have plenty of

Photographs.

Look at this one.

We both look really good in it.

Are you kidding me?

Baby, we're outside in the

Middle of the winter, and you

Have short sleeves on.

That just screams,

"Irresponsible parents."

We're in florida, and where

Did you get that jacket?

You like it? I like it.

This is a nice casual photo.

Baby, this will be a nice

Casual photo, also.

Here.

Wha--

I'll take that.

You hold this.

My diploma?

Yes, and I'll grab this.

A pipe.

Yes, and I set the camera to

Automatic.

Oops, I almost forgot.

What now?

I think we're ready.

Say, "Harvard."

Harvard.

[ camera shutter clicks ]

Well, what did I say?

Well, when I get ready. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Well, I'm not coming back.

Uh-huh.

Okay. It's all set.

I called the department, told

Them I'm not coming back.

Boy, this is gonna be like

The good old days back at the

Academy.

You know it, man -- ball

Games, late shows, and staying

Up late.

Now, who the man?

You the man!

[ both laugh ]

Ha ha!

Well, who the man that's gonna

Clean up this mess?

You know, at the academy, we

Had a housekeeper that would

Clean up mess like this.

Could you get me a cold one?

Yeah, big jesse, I'll get

You a --

Yeah, yeah, we don't need no

Housekeeper, jesse.

We got ella.

[ laughs ]

Ain't that right, baby?

Yes, curtis, but I need some

Help.

Well, I'm not gonna sit

Around here all day.

Finally. Thank you.

Yep. I'm gonna take me a

Long, luxurious bath.

[ chuckles ] But wait.

My laundry needs to be done.

And I just couldn't rest knowing

This pile was just sitting here.

Here you go.

[ chuckles ]

Who the man?

You the man!

That's right. Who the man?

Jesse. Who the man, jesse?

You the man!

[ both laugh ]

Ha ha.

I tell you curtis -- your friend

Has got to go!

Baby, that man saved my life.

Well, curtis, if he keeps

Making a mess in my house, he's

Gonna have to save his own life.

Ella, I am surprised at you.

[ scoffs ]

Baby, as long as I've known you,

You have never failed to help

Somebody with a new start.

You've helped bums, ella.

Jesse's a hero.

Curtis, well, I think your

Hero needs to do his own

Laundry.

Ella, don't -- don't be so --

What, nosey?

I'm gonna look at this.

Curtis, this is a pay stub.

Well, then don't look at it

'cause you do not want to know

What firefighters make in

California.

$122.

I'm glad I stayed in atlanta.

Curtis, he works at a

Convenience store.

Give me that.

* ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

* ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

[ laughs ]

You got any of those little

Bath-oil beads?

They make my skin feel so soft.

[ laughs ]

You been moonlighting on the

Fire department, huh, jesse?

[ chuckles ]

Give me that.

What you doing going through my

Stuff, man?

Wait a minute. Hold on, man.

Hold up. Hold up.

I'm just teasing you about your

Little part-time job.

[ chuckles ]

It's not a part-time job.

It's my only job.

It has been for 10 years.

* ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Who the man now, curtis?

Look at these, huh?

Look at that. Look at that.

That's when we graduated from

The fire academy together.

Baby, is this a woman's

Stockings coming out of your

Pocket?

Ella, baby, that's not

Important.

I didn't even know you back

Then.

What's important is this is my

Best friend!

You know what I'm saying?

Yes, baby.

I mean, I thought we'd be

Fighting fires together till we

Got old.

He gets this big job, he goes

Off to california, and then it

Turns out it wasn't a big job at

All.

It was a lie, ella, a lie.

I know, curtis.

And he's my hero.

Curtis, he is a slob, and he

Is rather annoying at times,

Curtis.

But I'm sure he's not all that

Bad.

Well, I'm not so sure about

Anything where it concerns him.

And now we're back in the

Living room.

You have a charming home.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, I'm sure it must be small

By the standards of most tiburon

Families.

Calvin, why don't we just

Take ms. Grant's compliment?

Oh, the photographs of

Gordon parks.

You like his work?

Actually, I have never seen

That book --

Yes, yes, we can't get enough

Of him.

[ chuckles ]

His pictures are so alive and --

And...Photographic.

[ chuckles ]

I'm impressed.

He's an american icon, but I

Fear his star dimmed with the

New generation.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

His star is still very shining.

I feel like his work is, um...

Wow. Honey, help me out here.

[ laughing ] Oh, no.

Honey yo are the wordsmith.

Um...

[ chuckles ]

Ms. Grant, you do know what I

Mean.

I do.

He was a true renaissance man.

Oh, yes.

A poet, musician, director,

Author.

Author!

What's your favorite?

Um, well, there --

[ chuckles ] There's so many.

Uh, what's that one?

I'm -- I'm --

Wow, I'm blocking on the title.

"The learning tree"?

"The learning tree." yes.

What did you love about it?

There was that, uh -- that

Tree -- mm-hmm -- and it started

Learning.

[ laughs ]

You're such a jokester!

[ both laugh ]

Yes, that is my calvin --

Such the jokester.

Well, I guess I have

Everything I need.

It's been delightful meeting

You.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Thank you so much.

You're welcome.

It was a pleasure.

Oh, wait, there's one more

Thing.

Calvin, I am sure ms. Grant

Has to be on her way.

Well, honey, this will only

Take a minute.

She -- miranda doesn't even know

About this.

Wha-- no, no, no. Wait.

Calvin, hold on. No, no, no, no.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Mm.

I've written a poem.

Oh, calvin.

Sit, please.

Oh.

[ chuckles ]

Have some more tea, if you

Would like.

[ chuckles ]

Ugh, calvin.

[ chuckles ]

"Ode to tiburon -- to my

Unborn child on the first day of

School."

[ clears throat ]

"The wide world is calling,

Calling.

Today you begin your schooling.

We learn to walk by falling.

Whether learning math, science,

Or the trombone, your life will

Be charmed by tiburon."

[ laughs ] How, um, nice.

So, so, so, we're --

We're in?

Not yet.

You're near the top of the

Waiting list, but that's all we

Can do at this point.

Mm.

Well, you know, I do have an

Interpretive dance.

No. No. No, no, no.

No, thank you.

I really have to go.

Okay.

Perhaps on parent-teacher

Night.

Okay. Well, uh, hold on

Because I knew you would love

It, so I made you a copy.

Oh. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Confidentially, I'll do

Everything I can to get you in.

Oh, bless you.

You don't have nothing to say

To me right now.

Curtis, I have a little

Surprise for you just to cheer

You up, baby.

[ sighs ] Please.

Nothing could cheer me up.

Well, let's see.

Come on in!

[ sighs ]

I'm sorry, curtis.

I owe you an explanation.

You sure in the hell do.

Curtis, baby.

Okay?

Just listen.

Okay, uh...I was never a

Battalion chief.

What?

Never fought wildfires.

Never made earthquake rescues.

And [chuckles] I never advised

The governor on nothing, man.

I haven't been a firefighter for

10 years.

How the hell could that

Happen, jesse?

You used to love firefighting,

Man.

Well, not long after I got to

California, everything fell

Apart.

Diana was in that car accident,

Left me all alone, and I started

Drinking pretty heavily after

That, man.

Showed up on the job drunk one

Day at a warehouse fire, damn

Near got everybody killed.

After that, they had to let me

Go.

Shoot.

Man, I'm just lucky nobody died

That day.

Why'd you make up all those

Stories?

'cause you put me on a

Pedestal.

That day at the dupree fire,

When I saved your life?

Right. I passed out.

Wait a minute.

Did you lie about that, too,

Jesse?

I mean, did some big rescue dog

Come and pull me out the flames,

Man?

No, I dragged you out the

Flames right before the

Explosion.

But, curtis, man, that day when

I saved your life, things

Changed between us, man.

Yeah, you became my best

Friend, man.

No. I became your hero, man.

There's a big difference.

It's a lot of pressure.

It was just easier for me to

Become the guy you thought I

Was.

I'm really sorry, man.

[ sighs ]

Man.

I guess today is your lucky day.

Maybe we can start over again,

And you'll never have to be my

Hero ever again.

You promise?

Oh, yeah.

From now on when I see you,

I am very, very unimpressed.

That's what I wanted to hear.

Still friends?

Yeah.

Man.

[ chuckles ]

Man, I thought I lost a

Friend, man.

No, man.

Man, good friends forever.

Good friends never die.

Who the man?

You the man.

Who the man?

You the man.

Who the man?

Let's stop hugging.

[ laughs ]

Both: * fire engine, fire

Engine, red, red, red *

* curt and jess

* we are the best

* we stomp our feet

* and we pat our chests

* people call us when

They're in distress *

* and we never met a woman

That we didn't impress *

* oh, we got something that

Both: * we'd like to

Confess *

* I like the thigh

* hey, and I like the

Breast *

* time to say good-bye

* oh

* to my house guest

* who the man?

* who the man?

* you the man

* who the man?

* who the man?

* you the man

* who the man?

* who the man?

[ laughs ]

[ thud ]

Ohh, lord!

[ laughs ]

* who the man?

* who the man?

* I'm the man