Original subtitles

OK, HURRY, JANINE, PLEASE.

LOOK, I'M MOVING.

OK, MOVE, PLEASE. HEY, BABY.

ALL RIGHT, AUNTY, ELLA, I

CLEANED THE WINDOWS, THE

BEDROOM, AND I VACUUMED.

MALIK, PLEASE, JUST GO AND DO

ALL OF IT BACK OVER AGAIN.

JUST GO DO IT ALL OVER FOR ME

AGAIN, OK?

HUH. I THINK AUNTY ELLA ISUT.

UH, UH, SAY WHAT?

COME, COME.

AUNTY ELLA IS WHAT?

SAY IT AGAIN.

UH, WHEN I WAS WALKING OUT?

UH-HUH.

AND IT WAS LIKE STEP, STEP.

STEP, STEP.

AND I SAID -- AND I STARTED

AND SAID, "OH, AUNTY ELLA, I

DON'T MIND."

NOW YOU LYING!

COME HERE, COME HERE, COME HERE.

GO IN THERE.

CLEAN, PLEASE.

OKAY.

AUNT ELLA, DON'T YOU THINK YOU

MIGHT BE GOING A

LITTLE BIT OVERBOARD?

YEAH, I GUESS SO, HUH?

I'VE ALREADY DUSTED.

AH, THE CLOSET.

I'VE GOT TO CLEAN THE CLOSET.

MISS ELLA, YOU HAVE CLEANED

THE CLOSET FOUR TIMES.

IT LOOKS THE EXACT SAME AS THE

LAST TIME YOU CLEANED IT.

I'M SORRY, I JUST WANT

EVERYTHING TO BE PERFECT FOR

WHEN MY MOTHER GETS HERE.

I DON'T WANT HER COMPLAINING

ABOU NOTHING!

IT'LL BE OKAY, ALL RIGHT?

WHERE IS UNCLE CURTIS?

I DON'T KNOW.

UH-OH.

HE WENT TO THE AIRPORT TO GET

MOTHER.

OKAY, LET ME CALL HIM.

CURTIS, TODAY IS NOT THE DAY FOR

YOU TO BE PLAYING.

CURTIS.

BABE, WHERE THESE BATTERIES?

STOP PLAYING.

WHERE IS MOTHER, CURTIS?

OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE, ELLA,

BEFORE YOU GET STARTED --

OKAY, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO

TO THE AIRPORT TO GET MOTHER.

WHERE IS SHE?

ELLA, YOU STARTED.

LOOK, I WENT BY THE AIRPORT,

BABY.

I DIDN'T SEE HER.

I DROVE REAL SLOW, BY THE

BAGGAGE CLAIM AT LEAST 3 TIMES.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, STOP

AND PARK?

AND GO LOOK FOR HER?

YES!

OH!

YES, CURTIS, I WANT YOU TO GO

GET MY MOTHER!

CURTIS, WHERE IS MOTHER?

THERE'S YOUR MOTHER!

THERE'S YOUR MAMA!

[ LAUGHS ]

AUNT EUNICE, HOW DID YOU GET

HERE?

I HAD TO TAKE A CAB FROM THE

AIRPORT SINCE NOBODY CAME TO

PICK ME UP.

MOTHER, I'M SORRY.

CURTIS WAS SUPPOSED TO COME AND

PICK YOU UP.

OH, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,

BABY.

IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR MARRYING

HIM.

I SEE YOU WERE SO WORRIED ABOUT

ME, THOUGH, HONEY, THAT YOU

DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DUST.

ELLA.

HMM?

WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT BIG OL'

UGLY DOG YOU USED TO HAVE?

BIG UGLY DOG, MOMMY?

OH, THERE IT IS.

I HEARD THAT.

YOU DON'T WATCH OUT, I'M GONNA

MISTAKE YOU FOR A FIRE HYDRANT.

ELLA, SHE'S IN MY CHAIR.

I KNOW THAT.

THESE BABIES ARE SO PRECIOUS.

THANK YOU.

C.J. AND I HAVE SOME BEAUTIFUL

CHILDREN.

YES, THEY DO.

SO, UH, YOU AND C.J. GOT

REMARRIED?

YES, MA'AM.

BUT DIDN'T YOU STEAL ALL HIS

CREDIT CARDS?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO.

THAT WAS CALVIN'S WIFE, MIRANDA.

SHE THE ONE THAT STOLE MY

GOLF CLUBS.

AND SHE STOLE YOUR FUR COAT,

REMEMBER, BABY?

GOT YOUR -- AND THEN SHE TOOK

ALL THE CHECKS, REMEMBER?

TRIED TO CASH THEM AT A

LIQUOR STORE.

CURTIS!

I MEAN, IT WASN'T HER FAULT,

THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, SHE WAS ON CRACK.

ELLA...

THESE BABIES ALL RIGHT?

YES, MOMMY, THE BABIES ARE

FINE.

CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, MOMMY?

NO, I'M FINE.

I JUST WANT TO STAY HERE AND

PLAY WITH LITTLE JAZMINE AND

MALIK.

BUT, UH, THAT'S HAYDEN AND

JAYDEN.

BOY, I KNOW WHO THESE

PRECIOUS YOUNG BABIES ARE.

OH, MOMMY, CAN I GET YOU

SETTLED, PLEASE?

LET'S GET YOU SETTLED IN.

OKAY, EVAN.

UH, IT'S ELLA, MOMMY.

OH, CHILD, I KNOW WHO YOU

ARE.

ALL THIS BEING NICE TO CURTIS

HAS MADE ME TIRED.

GET MY BAG, ALVIN.

I WONDER WHERE FLOYD IS.

HE'S BEEN GONE FOR A REALLY LONG

TIME.

FLOYD, WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON?

DISGUISED MYSELF.

I'M BEING STALKED.

EVERY DAY, I GO OUTSIDE, I SEE A

CAR OUTSIDE MY HOUSE.

I GO TO THE STORE, THERE'S THE

CAR.

I GO TO THE POST OFFICE, THERE'S

THE CAR.

I WALK MY CAT, THERE'S THE CAR.

YOU WALK YOUR CAT?

SO YOU DISGUISED YOURSELF AS

SAMUEL L. JACKSON FROM

"PULP FICTION."

OH!

THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE

MOVIES.

YOU LOOK JUST LIKE HIM.

I AIN'T TAKING NO CHANCES.

I THINK YOU JUST DID WALKING

OUT OF THE HOUSE LOOKING LIKE

THAT.

YEAH, FLOYD, I MEAN, THIS

WHOLE THING IS, LIKE, REALLY,

REALLY FREAKING ME OUT.

I MEAN, WHAT IF THE STALKER

COMES IN HERE?

AND -- OOH, WHAT IF HE WANTS

TO KIDNAP ME?

THEN WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO THEN,

HUH?

WHAT? WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO THEN?

SAY "WHAT" AGAIN.

SAY "WHAT" AGAIN.

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU TO SAY

"WHAT."

OH, YOU GOT HIM DOWN!

DID I?

JUST LIKE SAMUEL L.

I KNOW, RIGHT.

I'M ABOUT TO GET US SOME

BIG KAHUNA BURGERS.

I'D PREFER A ROYALE WITH

CHEESE.

THAT'S HOW THEY DO IT IN

FRANCE BECAUSE THEY'RE ON THE

METRIC SYSTEM.

I SAW THAT PART.

FLOYD, LET'S GET THIS

STRAIGHT.

SAMUEL L. JACKSON GROSSES

MILLIONS WITH ALL HIS FILMS.

FLOYD STANLEY JACKSON,

JUST GROSS.

REMIND ME TOMORROW WHICH ONE

I'M GONNA FIRE.

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

GIVE ME A SECOND,

I'LL GET YOU NEXT.

I DON'T NEED TO GET MY NAILS

DONE.

I'M LOOKING FOR MY

HUSBAND -- FLOYD?

OH, YOU MUST BE VERNITA.

NO, STELLA.

STELLA?

UH...

SAY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR FLOYD

WHO?

WHAT?

SAY "WHAT" AGAIN!

I'M SO SICK OF "WHAT"!

OOH!

IT JUST MAKES A "WWW-WWW" SOUND!

I HATE THE WORD "WHAT."

SAY "WHAT" AGAIN!

FLOYD, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

STELLA, I PRO-- I --

IT'S BEEN 12 SOME ODD YEARS.

YOU LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME.

YOU EVEN KEPT THE SIDEBURNS.

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

NO. OUR MARRIAGE WAS.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

SHE TALKING ABOUT SHE YOUR WIFE?

OH, FLOYD, YOU GOT TWO WIVES.

SHH!

OH, FLOYD, YOU'RE A BIGOT.

BALIGAMIMIST.

BIGAMIST.

DON'T SAY WORDS YOU CAN'T SPELL.

AND I DIDN'T DIE.

YOU LED ME TO BELIEVE THAT

YOU HAD DIED.

I MEAN, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO

THINK?

YOU DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF

THE EARTH, AND I SENT YOU TO THE

STORE TO GET ME SOME CIGARETTES.

I WASN'T HAPPY.

AND YOU WOULDN'T LET ME BE

MYSELF.

I SUPPORTED YOU IN EVERYTHING

THAT YOU DID.

YOU WANTED TO BE A TV REPAIR

PERSON.

YOU WANTED TO BE A CAKE

DECORATOR.

YOU WANTED TO BE A GOSPEL MUSIC

STRIPPER.

YOU JUST WAIT TILL VERNITA

HEARS ABOUT THIS.

SHH!

WHO'S VERNITA?

HIS WIFE.

YOU REMARRIED?

WHAT DO YOU CARE?

YOU AIN'T EVEN BRING ME MY

CIGARETTES.

THE CORNER STORE WAS OUT, SO

I WENT TO OREGON.

OREGON?

HOW MANY CORNER STORES ARE

BETWEEN HERE AND OREGON?

STELLA, LOOK, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT

TO THINK.

I WAS -- I DIDN'T KNOW IF I HAD

DONE SOMETHING WRONG, IF THERE

WAS SOMETHING I COULD HAVE DONE

DIFFERENTLY.

WAIT, BUT HOLD ON.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN

OUTSIDE MY HOUSE IN THE CAR.

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM HERE?

WHY HAVE YOU BEEN STALKING ME?

WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT

THIS?

HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN GOOD.

CURTIS, WHY ARE YOU JUST

SITTING THERE DRINKING COFFEE?

YOU KNOW I CANNOT FIND MY

MOTHER!

BABY, SHE'S NOT IN MY CUP.

CURTIS, PLEASE, THIS IS NOT

FUNNY.

UH...

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

I WAS ON MY WAY TO SCHOOL,

AND GUESS WHO I FOUND ON THE

CORNER?

IN YOUR BATHROBE, MOMMY?

I WAS BUYING A LOTTERY

TICKET.

WELL, THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE

OKAY.

EVERYONE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

NOT EVERYBODY.

OKAY, MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA?

NO, BABY, I'M FINE, THANK

YOU.

I'M A-GONNA GO CHECK ON THE

BABIES.

OH, PLEASE KEEP IT DOWN.

I JUST PUT THE BABIES DOWN TO

SLEEP.

I AIN'T GONNA WAKE UP YOUR

BABIES, JENNIFER.

J-JANINE.

OKAY, DOES ANYBODY ELSE FIND

IT A LITTLE AWKWARD THAT SHE WAS

OUTSIDE ON THE CORNER IN HER

BATHROBE?

[ LAUGHS ]

THERE'S A LOT OF CORNERS THAT

MAMA EUNICE HAS PASSED.

THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

BYE-BYE.

OKAY, OKAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

CLOSE THE DOOR!

CURTIS, I THINK MOTHER'S JUST

TIRED.

ELLA, PLEASE, THE BOY'S

RIGHT.

SHE'S DOWN AT THE STORE IN HER

BATHROBE BUYING A LOTTERY

TICKET.

I DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT.

YOU DID DO IT.

I DID NOT.

YES, YOU DID!

YES, YOU DID!

WHERE'S MY TEA?

MOMMY, YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T

WANT ANY TEA, HONEY.

NO, I DIDN'T.

YES, YOU DID!

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, I'LL

GET IT MYSELF.

MOMMY, ARE YOU RUNNING BATH

WATER, BABY?

MM-HMM, FOR THE BABIES.

SO, OKAY, WHERE ARE THE

TWINS?

WHERE YOU THINK?

IN THE TUB.

MY GOD.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

CURTIS!

THANK YOU, GOD, THAT THE

TWINS ARE OKAY.

WELL, CURTIS...

I GOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

BABY.

I THINK YOUR MOTHER HAS

OLD-TIMERS.

CURTIS, IT'S ALZHEIMER'S.

AND JUST BECAUSE SHE'S

FORGETTING A LITTLE BIT, CURTIS,

DOES NOT MEAN SHE HAS THAT.

ELLA, LOOK, I KNOW I JOKE

WITH YOUR MOTHER A LOT, OKAY?

BUT SHE'S NOT ACTING RIGHT.

CURTIS.

BABY, I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT

THE EVIDENCE.

CURTIS, SHE'S MY MAMA.

SHE MIGHT NEED HELP, ELLA.

OKAY.

OKAY, WELL, I'LL TALK TO HER.

I HEAR Y'ALL TALKING ABOUT

ME.

JUST BECAUSE I FORGET SOME

THINGS DOESN'T MEAN THAT I CAN'T

HEAR, TOO.

WELL, MAMA, WE'RE JUST

CONCERNED ABOUT YOU, THAT'S ALL.

YOU WANT TO HELP?

YES, MOM.

HOW ABOUT MINDING YOUR OWN

BUSINESS AND LEAVING MINE ALONE?

HOW ABOUT DOING THAT?

MOMMY, CAN YOU JUST CALM

DOWN?

DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN.

MOMMY!

WHAT IS IT?

CALM DOWN!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS, PLEASE?

NOW, YOU RUNNING AROUND HERE --

HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE, MOMMY.

I'M GONNA GO CUT THAT GRASS.

CURTIS!

OKAY, NOW, MOM, WHEN WAS THE

LAST TIME YOU SAW A DOCTOR?

HE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S

TALKING ABOUT.

HE'S DUMB AS CURTIS.

THAT'S WHY I DON'T EVEN TAKE THE

MEDICINE HE PRESCRIBES.

MOM, YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE

MEDICINE, BABY.

YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER.

DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

MY MIND IS JUST AS SHARP AS IT

EVER WAS!

I KNOW THAT!

EVELYN, EVELYN, JUST -- JUST

LEAVE ME ALONE!

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!

I'M ELLA.

FLOYD, MAN, YOU GOT TO CALM

DOWN.

HELL, WHAT FOR?

LOOK HERE, MAN.

STELLA SAYS SHE ON HER WAY

BACK OVER HERE, MAN, AND SHE GOT

A SURPRISE FOR ME.

SO?

YEAH, YOU NEVER KNOW.

IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING GOOD.

NO, IT AIN'T NOTHING GOOD.

I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS WOMAN IN 12

YEARS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

SHE PROBABLY COMING OVER HERE TO

KILL ME.

FLOYD, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

IF SHE WANTED TO KILL YOU, ALL

SHE WOULD HAVE TO DO IS MIX

TETRIS OXIDE, COMPOUND 10-80,

AND SULFURIC ACID INTO YOUR

FAVORITE BEVERAGE, BRING IT TO A

SLOW BOIL, AND SERVE IT CHILLED

WITH LIME.

YOU KILLED BYRON, DIDN'T YOU?

I WAS SERVING GRITS TO THE

SICK AND SHUT-IN THAT DAY.

NOTE TO SELF.

DO NOT LET KIKI MAKE THE COFFEE

IN THE MORNING EVER AGAIN.

SHE'S PROBABLY LOOKING FOR THE

RIGHT OPPORTUNITY TO KILL ME.

BUT, FLOYD, WHY WOULD SHE

WANT TO KILL YOU?

WHY?

PHSSH! [ CHUCKLES ]

ONCE THEY GET A TASTE OF THE

FLOYD, THEY GO CRAZY.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT MIDDLE-AGED

SEXY.

FLOYD!

DID I HEAR SATAN?

HELLO.

HEY, BABY.

WE NEED TO TALK. NOW.

ABOUT WHAT, SUGAR LUMP?

DON'T "SUGAR LUMP" ME, YOU

LYING, TWO-TIMING, BALD-HEADED

3-TOED POLYGAMIST.

IT'S, UH, BIGAMIST.

BOY, YOU BETTER SHUT UP.

I AM THE REASON WHY WHITE MEN

CAN'T JUMP, YOU HEAR?

SO, BABY, I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU

WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

LISTEN, MY LITTLE LYING PORK

RIND --

[ LAUGHING ] SHE CALLED YOU

"PORK RIND."

WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAY

OR I CAN TAKE YOU HOME AND PUT

YOU BACK IN THE CELLAR.

NOT THE CELLAR, COME ON,

BABY.

NOW, DON'T BE PUTTING MY

BUSINESS --

WELL, THEN TELL ME ABOUT

STELLA.

WHO IS STELLA?

I DON'T KNOW NO STELLA.

HI, EVERYBODY.

HEY, STELLA.

OH, THAT STELLA.

I THOUGHT YOU WAS TALKING ABOUT,

LIKE, "STELLA!"

WELL?

ARE YOU GONNA INTRODUCE US?

I REALLY DON'T CARE TO.

INTRODUCE US!

I'M GOING TO THE HOSPITAL.

UM, VERNITA, THIS IS MY WIFE

STELLA.

STELLA, THIS IS MY WIFE VERNITA.

YOU GUYS, MAYBE WE SHOULD

LEAVE AND LET THEM TALK.

NO, NO.

I'M NOT GOING NOWHERE.

I WANT TO SEE THIS.

YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY MAN.

VELVEETA, I DON'T WANT

YOUR BOY.

VELVEE--VEL--DID SHE CALL ME

VELVEETA?

GIRL, I WILL CUT YOU.

I JUST CAME HERE TO TALK TO

FLOYD.

AND I HAVE SOMETHING FOR HIM.

AHH, NOT IN THE FACE, PLEASE!

NOT IN THE FACE.

I JUST WANTED TO APOLOGIZE

FOR WALKING OUT ON YOU 12 YEARS

AGO AND TO GIVE YOU THIS.

[ SNIFFS ]

WHAT'S THIS?

DIVORCE PAPERS.

I SEE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW

LIFE.

MMM...

I WANT TO GIVE YOU YOUR

FREEDOM.

YOU WANT TO GIVE US FREE.

WELL, WHAT THE HELL YOU

WAITING ON?

SIGN THE PAPERS.

I'M TRYING TO.

LET ME USE YOUR ARM HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

IT'S WIDE ENOUGH FOR ME TO

SIGN--

BOY, YOU BETTER HURRY UP AND

SIGN THEM PAPERS.

I'M NOT PLAYING WITH YOU.

OH!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

WELL, I JUST SIGNED A BOOK

DEAL FOR MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

IT'S CALLED "AVOIDING FLOYD:

MY LIFE ON THE ROAD."

FOR HOW MUCH?

$200,000.

AND SINCE YOU JUST SIGNED THE

DIVORCE PAPERS, YOU DON'T GET

ONE PENNY.

SEE YA.

OH...

WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU TO SIGN

THOSE PAPERS?

YOU JUST DID.

BOY, NO, I DIDN'T.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND GET YOUR

BEHIND BACK HOME!

WHY?

NO, JUST STRAIGHT TO THE

CELLAR.

DO I HAVE TO WEAR THE OUTFIT?

YES!

WITH THE RABBIT EARS?

MOVE!

AND THE THONG?

BOY, I GET TIRED OF THAT.

I DON'T CARE.

GET GOING!

HI, MOMMY.

ELLA, I WANT TO GO HOME TO

HOLLY SPRINGS.

OKAY.

WELL, MOM...OKAY.

MOM, I SPOKE WITH EVELYN AND

FRANK, AND WE ALL AGREE THAT

IT'S JUST NOT A GOOD TIME FOR

YOU TO BE ALONE IN YOUR HOUSE BY

YOURSELF.

IT'S NOT SAFE, MOM.

YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ME IN NO

NURSING HOME.

NOWE DON'T WANT TO DO THAT,

MOMMY.

MOMMY, IT'S JUST NOT SAFE

FOR YOU TO BE BY YOURSELF.

WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING TO

WORRY ABOUT.

I'M FINE.

JUST BECAUSE I FORGET A FEW

THINGS EVERY NOW AND THEN --

STOP IT.

LOOK AT ME.

SOMETHING IS WRONG, MA.

SOMETHING IS WRONG.

OKAY, TALK TO ME.

MOM, COME ON.

COME ON, BIG GIRL.

[ CRYING ]

ELLA?

ELLA, I'M SCARED.

IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY.

IT'S LIKE A PART OF ME IS

DISAPPEARING.

OKAY.

OKAY, MAMA, HAVE A SEAT, BABE.

HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?

I DON'T KNOW.

A FEW MONTHS.

OKAY.

WELL, WE'RE GONNA TAKE CARE OF

YOU, OKAY?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING.

I'M YOUR MOTHER.

IT'S NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE

OF ME.

THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S NOT OUR

JOB.

LISTEN, WE KNOW IT'S NOT OUR

JOB!

BUT WE LOVE YOU, AND WE'LL MAKE

IT OUR JOB.

I AM NOT MOVING OUT OF MY

HOUSE.

HALLELUJAH!

MAMA, WE DON'T WANT YOU TO

MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE, OKAY?

BUT FOR STARTERS, YOUNG LADY,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THAT

MEDICINE.

[ SIGHS ]

MM-HMM, WHERE IS IT?

ALL RIGHT.

AND THE NEXT STEPS, MOMMY, WE

WILL TAKE AND WE WILL MAKE THEM

TOGETHER AS A FAMILY, OKAY?

HMM.

YOU KNOW SOMEBODY TAUGHT YOU

RIGHT.

MY MOMMY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I LOVE YOU, TOO, BABY.

WHAT THIS SAY?

MALIK!

AND CHECK THIS ONE, TOO.

MALIK!

MM-HMM.

YEAH, THAT'S ANOTHER ONE.

MOM, HOW MANY -- WHAT?

THIS IS -- THIS --

WHAT KIND OF MEDICINE IS THIS?

THAT ONE MAKE YOU REAL HIGH.