Original subtitles

OOH! OOH! TAMALES,

ENCHILADAS.

CURTIS, STOP. HONEY, THIS

IS FOR DINNER TONIGHT AT

THE HERNANDEZES.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU INSISTED

ON US BRINGING MEXICAN FOOD.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YO

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU INSISTEI

ON ME GOING.

CURTIS, I SHOULD HAVE MADE

MY POT ROAST.

MY POT ROAST.

OR WE COULD HAVE JUST MADE

TACOS.

THEY'RE WAY EASIER.

LOOK, WHEN YOU GO TO AN

ITALIAN RESTAURANT, WHAT DO

YOU EAT?

ITALIAN.

WHEN YOU GO TO A CHINESE

RESTAURANT, WHAT DO YOU EAT?

A CHEESEBURGER, BUT THAT'S

JUST ME.

OH.

YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT.

MM-HMM.

I'M SORRY.

UH, I EAT CHINESE.

THANK YOU.

NOW, WE'RE GOING TO A MEXICAN

HOUSE, SO WE'RE GONNA EAT

MEXICAN.

ARRIBA, ARRIBA.

OKAY, THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS.

CURTIS, WAIT, BABY.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO

TELL YOU, THE HERNANDEZES

ARE NOT JUST MEXICAN.

NOW, CARLOS IS HALF-MEXICAN AND

HALF-CUBAN.

ELLA, CUBA AIN'T NOTHING

BUT MEXICO ON THE, UH, WEST SIDE

OF FLORIDA.

EVERYBODY KNOW THAT.

OKAY, AND ROSIE, BABY, IS

FROM PUERTO RICO.

[ Spanish accent ] PUERTO

RICO?

IT'S MEXICO IN THE MIDDLE OF

THE PACIFICO.

IT'S AN ISLAND.

DUMMY-O.

CURTIS, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU AMAZE ME.

YOU ARE A STRAIGHT-UP

JACK--

UH...

JACK--JACK--JACQUELINE.

JACK.

YOU WATCH TOO MUCH CABLE.

WHAT ABOUT THE DESSERT?

OH! OH!

THANK YOU.

HEY! I GOT THE...

DID YOU GET IT?

YEP.

[ WHOOPS ]

[ HUMMING MARIACHI TUNE ]

[ SIRENS WAIL ]

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

[ RINGTONE PLAYS ]

DANA, WHEN YOU GONNA GET A

GROWNUP RINGTONE?

I CAN HAVE WHATEVER RINGTONE

THAT I WANT 'CAUSE I'M A GROWN

WOMAN.

HELLO?

HI, DADDY.

IS THAT HER DADDY OR HER

SUGAR DADDY?

WHAT?!

WELL [ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

THAT'S HER DADDY.

YEAH.

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS IS JUST LIKE ONE OF THOSE

KUNG FU MOVIES WITHOUT ALL THE

"FU."

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

OKAY, WELL, I MEAN, I CAN

JUST MEET YOU GUYS LATER AT THE

HOTEL.

OKAY.

OKAY.

BYE.

OH, MY GOD!

OKAY, I NEED SOME HELP!

I N-- I NEED SCRUBS.

I NEED MEDICAL BOOKS.

I NEED NOTEBOOKS.

I NEED A STETHOSCOPE.

I NEED -- I NEED --

HELP! HELP ME!

YOU CALM DOWN.

YOU CALM DOWN.

YOU'RE SCARING ME.

I MEAN, THE CUSTOMERS.

YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, I'M OKAY.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I PROMISE.

WHOA!

YOUR LITTLE CHINESE GIRL DONE

LOST HER MIND, FLOYD.

FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M

KOREAN, AND THERE'S A

DIFFERENCE.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

Y'ALL BOTH CHARGE EXTRA FOR

DUCK SAUCE.

AND WHAT'S IN DUCK SAUCE?

WHAT IS IT, YOU JUST SQUEEZE THE

NECK OF A DUCK AND THEY JUST

BURP UP THE SAUCE?

FLOYD!

THEM LITTLE ORANGE SPECKS,

THOUGH, THEY SCARE ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

NOW, ARE YOU CALM?

I'M CALM.

ARE YOU CALM? ARE YOU GOOD?

I PROMISE.

SHE GOOD, GIRL. COME ON.

NOW, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

I KIND OF TOLD MY PARENTS

A LITTLE WHITE LIE.

I TOLD THEM I WAS IN COLLEGE

PREMED.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

HA HA!

HELL NO!

PREMED?

YOU COULDN'T EVEN SPELL "PRE."

SPELL IT, SPELL IT.

SEE, SHE CAN'T DO IT!

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

NURSE?

DOCTOR?

NURSE?

DOCTOR?

HOLD UP.

WHY I GOTTA BE THE NURSE?

WHY YOU CAN'T BE THE NURSE?

I'LL BE THE DOCTOR.

NO, NO, YOU GOTTA BE THE

NURSE 'CAUSE I'M WAITING ON A

SPONGE BATH.

EW!

HELLO! OVER HERE!

CRISIS OVER HERE.

HELP ME!

SO NEEDY.

DANA, WHY YOU TELL A LIE

LIKE THAT FOR?

WELL, MY DAD'S A TOP SURGEON

IN BOSTON, AND SO WHEN I DROPPED

OUT OF SCHOOL, I DIDN'T WANT TO

DISAPPOINT HIM SO I DIDN'T TELL

HIM THE WHOLE TRUTH.

SO, WHY DID YOU DROP OUT OF

SCHOOL?

FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S A LOT

OF READING AND WRITING INVOLVED,

AND I CAN'T BE DOING ALL THAT.

AND THEN SECONDLY, THEM COATS

MADE ME LOOK FAT, AND THERE

AREN'T ANY CUTE BOYS IN SCHOOL!

THIS IS AN EXAMPLE OF THE

BRAND-NEW DUMB I WAS TALKING

ABOUT.

I'M GONNA HELP YOU, LITTLE

BRAIN-DEAD ONE.

SIT BACK.

I'M GONNA GET ALL THOSE LITTLE

SUPPLIES FOR YOU, OKAY?

YES, YES.

'CAUSE, SEE, I GOT AN EYE CHART,

I GOT A STETHOSCOPE, AND I GOT

A DEFIBRILLATOR, AND I EVEN GOT

SOME GLOW-IN-THE-DARK LATEX

GLOVES.

I'M GOING STRAIGHT TO THE FREAKY

BOX TODAY.

SO, DANA -- I MEAN

DR. CARTER...

WHEN WILL WE GET TO MEET YOUR

PARENTS?

[ Nasally ] PAGING

DR. CARTER, PAGING DR. CARTER.

WE HAVE TO HAVE YOU TO REPORT TO

SURGERY FOR A FUNGI ON A BIG

TOE.

HA HA HA, REALLY FUNNY.

BUT MY PARENTS ARE STILL

SIGHTSEEING, SO I'M GONNA MEET

UP WITH THEM LATER.

OH, MY GOD!

OH, MY GOD! THEY'RE HERE!

WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE?

OH, MY GOD! WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN.

OH, GOD.

COME HERE.

SIT DOWN!

DO MY NAILS. I'LL PAY YOU $20.

JUST DO MY DAMN NAILS.

UHH!

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY ROUGH.

I MEAN, HOW DO YOU GUYS FIND

YOUR EMPLOYEES?

THAT'S --

THIS IS AWFUL.

I WOULD NEVER PAY ANYBODY TO DO

A TIP LIKE THIS.

[ SCOFFS ] PLEASE.

OH, MY GOSH!

MOM AND DAD!

WHAT A SURPRISE.

OH, HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU?

MY, MY, MY, MY, MY.

DANA, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOUR

MAMA WAS...SO FINE.

[ PURRS ]

UH, THANK YOU.

I THINK.

AND WHO ARE YOU?

ME?

I'M YOUR WIFE'S NEXT HUSBAND.

[ CHUCKLES ]

LOOK HERE.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

TELL ME THIS, JACKIE CHAN...

HOW IS IT THAT A VERTICALLY

DEPRIVED MAN LIKE YOURSELF

END UP BEING WITH SUCH A FINE

NUBIAN PRINCESS AS THIS?

YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

WITH A NUBIAN PRINCESS IF YOU

HAD ONE, BRO.

DID HE CALL ME "BRO"?

I KNOW GOLLUM FROM THE DOGGONE

"LORD OF THE RINGS" DIDN'T CALL

ME NO BRO.

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I DON'T KNOW.

HE A BLACK BELT, FLOYD.

CAN'T BE NO BLACK BELT WITH

NO BROWN SUIT ON.

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM, DAD?

WHY DON'T YOU GUYS FINISH

SIGHTSEEING AND, UM, I'LL

CATCH UP WITH YOU GUYS LATER

AFTER I GET MY NAILS DONE.

SO YOU GUYS SHOULD JUST GO.

JUST...

NO, SWEETHEART, WE'RE GOING

TO WAIT HERE FOR YOU.

YOUR MAMA CAN STAY.

A-AND YOU KNOW WHAT,

MRS. CARTER?

YOU COULD GET YOUR NAILS DONE.

HOW ABOUT IT?

OH, NO, YOU NEED IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU NEED IT, MAMA.

YEAH.

I COULD STRIKE A MATCH ON THESE

THINGS.

SIT ON DOWN.

SIT ON DOWN.

[ Asian accent ] SO, COME.

LET ME SHOW YOU HAIRCUT WE CAN

DO FOR YOU.

YOU CAN HAVE NUMBER 1, 2, 3.

OH, I'M SORRY.

UNO, DOS, TRES, QUATRO.

UH, HONEY...HURRY UP, PLEASE,

BEFORE I PERFORM A CASTRATION.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, COME ON.

DO MY MOM'S NAILS, LADY.

COME ON, DO MY MOM'S NAILS.

NO, NO, NO.

GONNA DO MY MOM'S NAILS.

AND WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS

THIS WHERE THE WORKERS JUST GET

UP AND LEAVE?

YOU KNOW WHAT, MOM?

YOU KNOW, SHE SUCKED ANYWAYS.

I CAN DO YOUR NAILS FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, SINCE I USED TO DO

NAILS.

SHE GET THAT FROM HER

FATHER'S SIDE.

HOW DID YOU GUYS KNOW I WAS

HERE?

YOUR ROOMMATE SHERI TOLD US

YOU'D BE HERE.

SHERI, HUH?

I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE STOLEN

HER MAN.

SO, I KNOW YOU TWO MUST BE

PROUD OF YOUR DOCTOR-TO-BE.

OH, YES, WE'RE VERY, VERY

PROUD.

SO, WAIT A MINUTE, NOW.

I THINK YOUR DISCIPLINE IS GONNA

BE, UH, PEDIATRICIAN, RIGHT,

DANA?

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, ANY FIELD THAT DOESN'T

REQUIRE WORKING WITH CHILDREN,

I'M GOOD.

HUH?

YOU REAL PROUD NOW, AIN'T

YOU?

SO, DANA, WHY DON'T YOU TELL

YOUR MAMA AND DADDY ABOUT THAT

NEW COURSE YOU'RE TAKING?

YOU KNOW, LIE-OLOGY.

OH, SHE'S JUST TELLING JOKES.

SHE GOT JOKES. [ LAUGHS ]

SHE'S SO FUNNY.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

YOU KNOW, DOCTOR,

PROFESSIONAL COURTESY, IF YOU

DON'T MIND.

I GOT THIS LITTLE THING ON MY

TOE RIGHT THERE.

I'M NOT A PODIATRIST.

I CAN'T EVEN WALK ON IT.

PLEASE LOOK AT IT. PLEASE.

I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT

POTATOES, THOUGH.

YOU COULD HAVE LOOKED, THOUGH.

DANA, THAT WAS YOUR 5:00.

THEY HAD TO CANCEL.

SHH!

YOUR 5:00 WHAT?

UM, UH...

MY FROG-DISSECTING CLASS.

YEAH. THAT'S IT.

GOOD ONE.

DANA?

HMM?

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HONEY?

OH, MY BAD.

I WAS JUST TRIPPING, YOU KNOW.

I MEANT MY LOBOTOMY CLASS.

[ LAUGHS ]

MY ASTROLOGY CLASS?

AW, DAMN.

OKAY.

I'M NOT IN SCHOOL ANYMORE.

WHAT?

WHEN DID YOU DROP OUT?

DROP OUT?

I DIDN'T DROP OUT.

OH, DAD, YOU'RE A TRIP.

[ LAUGHS ] DROP OUT.

ME, DROP OUT?

I WOULD NOT DO THAT TO YOU.

[ LAUGHS ]

I JUST NEVER DROPPED IN.

SO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH

ALL THE MONEY WE SENT YOU?

OH, IT'S STILL IN MY CLOSET.

DANA, YOU'RE KEEPING MONEY IN

YOUR CLOSET?

NO, MY SHOES.

AAH!

[ SPEAKING KOREAN ]

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

I HEARD "NEGRO," "FLOYD," AND

"HO."

YOUNG LADY, YOU HAVE REALLY

LET YOUR FATHER DOWN THIS TIME.

DANA, I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN

YOU!

[ SIGHS ]

CURTIS, HURRY UP!

YEAH, COME ON, UNCLE CURTIS.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE US LATE.

I'M COMING, I'M COMING,

I'M COMING, I'M COMING.

OKAY.

ARRIBA, ARRIBA, ARRIBA!

GOL!

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT THE?

CURTIS, YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!

YEAH, UNCLE CURTIS.

YOU'RE GONNA EMBARRASS ME IN

FRONT OF ALEXANDRA.

OH, PLEASE.

Y'ALL JUST JEALOUS.

Y'ALL WAY UNDERDRESSED.

WHEN IN ROME, DRESS LIKE A

MEXICAN.

COME ON, LET'S EAT SOME MEXICAN

FOOD.

COME ON, PABLO, KNOCK ON THE

DOOR.

HELLO.

WELCOME TO OUR HOME.

OH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!

[ WHOOPS ]

[ HUMMING ]

WHAT UP, MY PEOPLE?

AH-OOGLA-OOGLA-OOGLA-OOGLA!

WHAT THE HELL?

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ON?

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ON?

WE DON'T DRESS LIKE THAT.

AND WE DON'T DRESS LIKE THAT!

EVERYONE, THE PAYNES ARE

HERE.

YEAH, YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

[ GASPS ]

All: WHAT THE HELL?

YEAH, WHAT THEY SAID.

I'M SORRY FOR THE WAY CURTIS

IS DRESSED.

I'M SORRY.

NOT AS SORRY AS I AM FOR WHAT

CARLOS IS WEARING.

ELLA, MALIK, CURTIS, I'D LIKE

YOU MEET DIEGO, OUR SON.

NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS.

GRACIAS.

I THINK.

DIEGO?

WHAT?

OH, YEAH, DIEGO, STAND UP

STRAIGHT.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE

EVERYTHING.

LOOK WHO'S TALKING.

WHAT?

I'M A SOUL MAN.

HEY, THAT'S A PICTURE OF

MALCOLM X.

IT'S PRETTY COOL.

OF COURSE.

SEE, ROSIE, I TOLD YOU THEY'D

NOTICE.

DIEGO, PLEASE TAKE ELLA'S

DISH.

TAKE IT WHERE?

TO THE KITCHEN.

AND SET THE TABLE.

OKAY, MOM.

IT SMELLS GOOD.

WHAT DID YOU BRING US?

OH, ELLA MADE ALL YOUR

FAVORITE STUFF -- ENCHILADAS,

TOSTADAS, CHICKEN QUESADILLAS,

CHICKEN RELLENO, CHILI

RELLENO --

CURTIS.

...CHILI CON...

WHAT -- NO TACOS?

OKAY.

WHY IS THE OLD LADY STARING AT

ME?

¿MAMA, QUE TE PASA?

SHE SAYS YOU REMIND HER OF

HER SECOND HUSBAND HECTOR.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

IS THAT A GOOD THING OR A BAD

THING?

VERY BAD. SHE KILLED HIM.

NO PROOF!

OKAY.

WELL, ROSIE, WHAT DID YOU ALL

PREPARE FOR US?

AY!

DIEGO [ SPEAKS SPANISH ]

[ SPEAKS SPANISH ]

WE HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

WE MADE ALL YOUR FAVORITES --

FRIED CHICKEN, COLLARD GREENS,

MAC AND CHEESE, AND WATERMELON!

SEEDLESS.

DON'T, DON'T.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT HE SAID?

YES -- SEEDLESS.

WHAT'S WITH THE WATERMELON,

ELLA?

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

EXCUSE ME.

SO, WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME WE LIKE

WATERMELON?

YOU DO, DON'T YOU?

HELL, YEAH, WE DO, BUT THAT'S

BESIDE THE POINT.

OH.

AND THE CHICKEN LOOKS GREASY.

THE ONLY THINGS I LIKE GREASY

ARE MY MEN.

WHY IS SHE RUBBING MY BELLY?

BECAUSE FAT MEAT IS GREASY.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

MAMA, SIENTATE, POR FAVOR.

TRANQUILA.

¿POR QUE?

SO, WHAT SHALL WE DO?

ANYBODY FEEL LIKE CHINESE?

YES.

CHINESE IT IS.

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

OH.

IT'S KRISTI YAMAGUCHI,

PAM "FOXY BROWN" GRIER,

AND TIGER-TIGER WOODS, Y'ALL.

HA HA!

GO ON. TELL HIM.

FLOYD, I HAVE TO QUIT.

NO!

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO DO

SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

FINE, FINE, FINE.

BUT CAN YOUR MAMA STAY?

DR. CARTER.

WHY SHE GOTTA LEAVE, YO?

I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER

WORKING IN A DUMP LIKE THIS.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

HOLD UP, NOW, DOC.

NOW, JUST 'CAUSE YOU GOT YOUR

FANCY HARVARD DEGREE AND YOUR

BIG SURGERY JOB AND EVERYTHING

AND YOUR FINE WIFE...

AND JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT THE BIG

MANSION WITH ALL THE SERVANTS

AND EVERYTHING, AND DID I

MENTION YOUR FINE WIFE?

DON'T MEAN YOU CAN CALL MY PLACE

A DUMP, NOW.

HELL.

ALL RIGHT, DANA, LET'S GO.

COME ON, HONEY.

DANA, YOU'RE A GROWN WOMAN.

YOU DON'T NEED YOUR PARENTS

APPROVAL FOR NOTHING.

I MEAN, LOOK AT ME.

I AIN'T EVEN GOT NO DADDY.

I'M A'IGHT.

DON'T LOOK AT HER. COME ON.

GO WITH YOUR DADDY.

GO WITH YOUR DADDY.

DANA, DANA...

DON'T LISTEN TO HER.

YOU TURN AROUND, YOU'RE GONNA

TURN INTO A PILLAR OF SALT.

DANA!

DON'T DO IT!

[ CHUCKLES ]

I GOT IT MADE, THOUGH.

YOU'RE A FUNNY GUY.

[ LAUGHS ]

NO, PLEASE, EXCUSE ME.

PLEASE, SIT OVER THERE.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

THAT'S MY SEAT.

SO, IS IT TRUE THAT NOT ALL

BLACK PEOPLE CAN PLAY

BASKETBALL?

YOU KNOW HOW THEY CALL

ALLEN IVERSON "THE ANSWER"?

YEAH.

MALIK'S THE QUESTION.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BRO, SERIOUSLY.

HEY, YOU MISSED THE PIÑATA BY A

WHOLE FOOT.

AND HE WASN'T EVEN BLINDFOLDED.

TRUE, TRUE.

OH, SO, IS EVERYBODY LEGAL?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I'M WORKING ON IT.

MM-HMM. [ HICCUPS ]

CURTIS.

WHAT?

LEGAL? I'M FROM NEW JERSEY.

[ SCOFFS ] YEAH, RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, SO IS IT TRUE THAT

Y'ALL ARE ALWAYS LATE TO

EVERYTHING?

WELL, NO, WE'RE NOT LATE

TO EVERYTHING.

WE'RE ONLY LATE WHEN WE HAVE TO

BE A CERTAIN PLACE AT A CERTAIN

TIME, SO...

HEY, DO YOU GUYS GET FOLLOWED

AROUND IN DEPARTMENT STORES BY

SALESMEN?

Both: [ SCOFF ]

ALL THE TIME.

All: SO DO WE!

OH, I GOT ONE -- WHEN YOU

GUYS GO TO RESTAURANTS, DO YOU

GUYS GET BAD SERVICE BECAUSE

PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE NOT GONNA

LEAVE A TIP?

I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU.

NO.

NO, NO, NO.

WE GET BAD SERVICE BECAUSE THEY

NOW CURTIS IS NOT GONNA LEAVE K

A TIP.

I LOVE IT!

[ LAUGHTER ]

DO ANY OF YOU LIKE TO GET

NAKED AND WANDER THROUGH THE

STREETS AT NIGHT?

ABUELA.

ABUELA!

MERCEDES, TAKE THE BEER.

AH, PAPA.

GRACIAS, ABUELITA.

I LOVE YOU.

GOOD NIGHT.

SHE LIKE TO DRINK.

SOUNDS LIKE SHE LIKES TO DO

A LOT MORE THAN THAT.

EXCUSE ME, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

THE GRANDMA THE RA-RA.

[ LAUGHTER ]

SHE SURE IS THE RA-RA.

SO IT SEEMS LIKE WE ALL HAVE

A LOT MORE IN COMMON THAN

WE THOUGHT, HUH?

WE DO. WE DO.

YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING

TURNED OUT BETTER THAN I

EXPECTED.

ME, TOO.

ME, TOO, CARLOS.

CURTIS, HEY, HOW ABOUT A

CERVEZA NEGRA, HUH?

CURTIS, WAIT!

YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND

THAT IF I DON'T MOVE BACK TO

BOSTON WITH HIM, THEN HE'S GONNA

CUT MY ALLOWANCE OFF.

WELL, DANA, YOU'VE JUST

GOT TO GET YOUR HUSTLE ON, MA.

I MEAN, THERE'S GOT TO BE

SOMETHING ELSE YOU'RE GOOD AT.

I DON'T KNOW. TAKING PICTURES.

YOU COULD WORK IN AN ELECTRONIC

STORE, BE A MATH TUTOR.

SELL DVDs, CDs, WIGS, WEAVES.

OH -- DRY CLEANING.

DRY CLEANING.

YOU KNOW THAT.

YOU KNOW SHE CAN DO DRY

CLEANING.

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF,

ALL ASIANS DON'T DO THOSE

THINGS.

Both: PSH!

WELL, NOT ALL ASIANS.

Both: PSH!

WELL, NOT ME.

I DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT

FRACTIONS.

DANA, YOU JUST GOT TO BE

STRONG, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M

SAYING?

MAN UP!

OW!

STOP IT! SUCK IT UP!

STAND UP TO YOUR DADDY, YOU KNOW

WHAT I'M SAYING?

TELL HIM WHAT YOU AIN'T GONNA

DO, WHAT YOU GONNA DO.

RIGHT.

WHEN YOU GONNA DO IT, HOW YOU

GONNA DO IT, WHERE YOU GONNA DO

IT.

HE'S NOT THE BOSS OF ME,

RIGHT?

I'M THE BOSS OF ME!

YEAH!

HERE THEY COME NOW.

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

MY PARENTS ARE HERE?!

DON'T START THAT.

HIT THE POSE, HIT THE POSE.

HIT THE POSE.

ROCK WITH IT.

LEAN WITH IT.

ROCK WITH IT.

DANA, WE'RE GOING TO THE

AIRPORT.

YOUR FATHER WANTS YOU TO COME

WITH US.

PSH!

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT THAT GOTTA DO WITH ME, YO?

'CAUSE GUESS WHAT?

I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

YEAH, YEAH.

[ BEAT-BOXING ]

I'M-A STAY HERE.

YEAH, YEAH.

* 'CAUSE I'M GONNA DO WHAT I

DO *

* AND I AIN'T GOING BACK TO

SCHOOL *

YEAH, SO WHAT'S UP? YEAH.

UH! THAT'S MY CUT.

FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHAKE

SOMEBODY UP IN THIS --

ENOUGH!

IF YOU DO THIS, I'M CUTTING OFF

YOUR ALLOWANCE.

HUH?

OKAY, KIKI GIRL, THAT'S MY

MONEY.

THAT'S MESSING WITH MY SHOES.

BRING IT IN.

OKAY, OKAY.

YOU RIGHT, YOU RIGHT.

[ WHIMPERS ] FOR REAL?

HIT THE POSE, HIT THE POSE.

PSH.

AND? SO WHAT?

PSH!

YOU CAN KEEP ALL YOUR DOUGH.

SO, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN GET BACK

ON THAT PLANE AND CAN BOUNCE

WITH ALL THAT -- ALL THAT MONEY?

MONEY.

OH, BOUNCE, MONEY. YEAH.

DON'T STAT THAT CUSSING

AGAIN.

WELL...YOU FINALLY ASSERT

YOURSELF.

WELL, DON'T WORRY, HONEY,

'CAUSE I WRITE THE CHECKS.

BUT THAT WAS SLICK, YO!

[ LAUGHS ]

WORD!

UH...IT'S A CELEBRATION!

[ LAUGHS ]

FLOYD.

FLOYD!

BYE, MOM.

I WAS THAT CLOSE TO BEING

YOUR STEPFATHER.