Original subtitles

JAZZY, I JUST KNOW YOU'RE

GONNA EARN SO MANY GIRL SCOUT

BADGES TODAY.

I SURE HOPE SO.

ELLA?

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS

WILDERNESS THING.

I CAN'T HAVE ANTS CRAWLING IN MY

WIG.

CLARETHA, YOU PROMISED.

SO YOU HAVE TO GO.

I ONLY PROMISED BECAUSE YOU

SAID THERE'D BE A STRONG,

HANDSOME PARK RANGER AT THE

CAMPSITE.

I SAID THERE COULD BE.

I DON'T REMEMBER "COULD."

WELL, YOU STILL HAVE TO GO.

[ CHUCKLES ]

GOOD, YOU ALMOST OUT?

YOU ALMOST OUT?

WHOO. PARTY OVER HERE!

[ HUMMING DANCE MUSIC ]

CURTIS, DON'T DO THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, SINCE YOU LADIES ARE

GONNA BE GONE, ME AND CALVIN ARE

GOING OUT TO THE CLUB TONIGHT.

YEAH, WE GONNA PICK UP SOME

HONEYS.

OKAY, AND WHERE ARE YOU TWO

GOING TO LIVE WHEN YOU COME

BACK?

[ HUMMING DANCE MUSIC ]

CURTIS, WHY DIDN'T YOU AND

CALVIN GO TO THE FATHER/SON

CHURCH RETREAT WITH C.J. AND

MALIK?

CLARETHA, FIRST OF ALL, WE

DON'T GO TO CHURCH.

AND SECOND OF ALL, YOU KNOW

CALVIN'S NOT MY SON.

OKAY, I DON'T LIKE THAT JOKE

ANYMORE.

I KEEP TELLING YOU IT'S NOT

A JOKE.

OKAY, GOODBYE.

MUAH! MUAH!

BYE-BYE.

[ SMOOCHES ]

YOU LADIES HAVE FUN.

BE BREEZY.

HEY, FEEL FREE TO LOSE

CLARETHA.

BEHAVE.

MAN, POPS, THESE RINGS ARE

EXPENSIVE, AND I DIDN'T KNOW IT

WAS GOING TO BE THIS HARD TO BUY

ONE.

WHY DO YOU GOT TO BUY A RING?

I TOLD YOU I'M PROPOSING TO

MIRANDA.

YOU WERE SERIOUS?

YES.

WELL, HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?

YOU'RE BROKE.

COME ON, ARE YOU GOING TO

HELP ME OR NOT, 'CAUSE I CAN'T

GIVE MIRANDA A CLOUDY DIAMOND.

YOU BETTER GIVE HER A CLOUDY

DIAMOND.

A CLOUDY DIAMOND IS YOUR

WALLET'S BEST FRIEND.

POPS, COME ON, MAN.

I'M SERIOUS.

THIS RING HAS TO BE SPECIAL,

LIKE MIRANDA.

YOU KNOW I WANT TO SAY

SOMETHING, DON'T YOU?

I ALMOST SAID SOMETHING.

OOH, I COULD'VE JUMPED ON THAT

ONE, BOY.

I'M GONNA LET IT GO.

I'M GONNA LET IT GO.

OKAY, LOOK, I NEED A PLAN.

WELL, I HOPE YOUR PLAN

INCLUDES A SKI MASK AND A

GETAWAY CAR 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T GOT

NO MONEY!

SPECIAL LIKE MIRANDA.

AH-CHOO! AH-CHOO!

OKAY.

HELLO, EVERYBODY! HELLO! HEY!

THIS IS SO GOOD!

SO, WHO IS THE LITTLE

OUTBREAK RAT, AND WHY ARE WE

WATCHING HER?

CLARETHA.

THAT IS JORDAN, AND HER MOTHER

COULDN'T MAKE IT.

WELL, I CAN SEE WHY.

OKAY, EVERYBODY, LOOK IN YOUR

BAGS.

WE HAVE A MAP, A COMPASS, AND A

GOAL SHEET.

ON OUR LAST EXCURSION, WE HAD

SUCH A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.

WHY DON'T WE JUST SKIP THE

EXCURSION AND GO RIGHT TO THE

AFTER PARTY?

[ GROANS ]

OKAY, OKAY, EVERYBODY, IT'S TIME

TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

YAY!

AND REMEMBER, LADIES, IT'S

ALL ABOUT THE JOURNEY AND NOT

THE DESTINATION, HMM?

AH-CHOO!

MM-HMM.

AH-CHOO!

LITTLE GIRL, IF YOU MAKE ME

SICK, I'M SUING YOU AND YOUR

MAMA.

I DON'T HAVE A COLD.

I'M JUST ALLERGIC TO POLLEN,

GRASS, PINE TREES, OAK TREES,

DUST MITES, MOLD -- OH, AND EGGS

AND DOGS AND CATS AND --

OHH, THEY MIGHT AS WELL PUT

YOU IN A BAGGIE.

LEAVE HER ALONE.

NOW, EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY,

ACCORDING TO THE GOAL SHEETS, WE

ARE TO FIND THE OLDEST-LIVING

TREE IN CAMP STONE PARK.

OH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE

OLDEST-LIVING TREE, BUT I KNOW

ABOUT THE OLDEST-LIVING WOMAN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]

OKAY.

MM-HMM.

LITTLE -- LITTLE GIRLS,

LISTEN, YOU ARE TO FIND THREE

RED RIBBONS.

BUT THE TROOP LEADER SAYS

THAT WE HAVE --

THE -- THE TROOP LEADER ISN'T

WITH US, IS SHE?

DON'T WORRY, JORDAN.

MY AUNTIE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S

DOING.

SHE'S WON EVERY AWARD YOU CAN

WIN.

WELL, THINGS WERE DIFFERENT

THAN THEY WERE IN 1920.

[ GASPS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT DID YOU SAY, JORDAN?

WHAT?

THE INTERNET SAYS THAT THINGS

ARE CHANGING ALL THE TIME WITH

GIRL SCOUTS, AND WITH TECHNOLOGY

CONSTANTLY ADVANCING, THE OLD

PEOPLE JUST DON'T GET IT.

OH, AND IT ALSO SAYS --

DO YOU EVER STOP TALKING?

YEAH, WHEN THERE'S RAGWEED

AND MY THROAT CLOSES.

OH, LET ME LOOK FOR SOME

RAGWEED.

CLARETHA, CLARETHA, DON'T --

DON'T DO THAT.

OH.

THERE'S SOME RIGHT THERE.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

WHAT'S UP, CALVIN?

HEY, EVERYBODY.

WHAT'S UP, MAN?

FLIZZ-OYD.

SCISSOR.

HEY, EVERYONE, Y'ALL COME

OVER.

TAKE A LOOK AT THE RING CALVIN

BOUGHT FOR MIRANDA.

I HELPED HIM PICK IT OUT.

OOH!

GREAT!

YEAH.

IS -- IS THAT A DIAMOND, OR

DOES THE RING JUST COME TO A

SHINY POINT?

NO, MAN, THE DIAMOND'S THERE.

OH, YEAH, YOU CAN SEE IT IF

YOU LOOK REALLY CLOSE AND FOCUS.

GIRL, OPEN YOUR EYES.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T -- I'M SORRY.

YOU DO HAVE YOUR EYES OPEN.

I'M SO SORRY.

SHE GONNA NEED GLASSES AFTER SHE

GET THROUGH SQUINTING AT THAT.

MORE LIKE A MAGNIFYING GLASS.

LOOK, Y'ALL LEAVE CALVIN

ALONE.

GO ON SOMEWHERE.

LEAVE CALVIN ALONE.

NOW, COME ON.

SHE KNOW WHAT SHE GET INTO.

SHE KNOW CALVIN STILL LIVE WITH

HIS PARENTS...

RIGHT.

YEAH.

...AND THAT HE'S STILL IN

COLLEGE AFTER SEVEN YEARS...

OH, YEAH.

...AND THAT THE BOY'S

BROKE...

YEAH.

...AND HE USED TO WET THE

BED.

WHAT?!

I MEAN, IF SHE WANT TO THROW

HER LIFE AWAY AND MARRY HIM, LET

HER GO AND MARRY THE BOY.

I'M TRYING TO GET RID OF HIM.

HEY, YOU CAN'T STOP LOVE.

THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT.

I'LL BE PAID AFTER THIS SHOP

STARTS MAKING MONEY.

WAIT, DIDN'T MIRANDA LOAN YOU

THE MONEY TO INVEST?

YEAH.

AND DON'T YOU HAVE TO PAY

HER BACK?

YEAH.

WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

AFTER YOU PAY HER BACK, AIN'T

YOU GONNA BE BROKE AGAIN?

HEY, RIGHT.

BORROWING MONEY FROM ME, AND

THAT'S WHY I SAY THAT RING IS

FINE.

HEY, DANA, COME HERE REAL

FAST.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF A GUY

GOT YOU THIS RING?

[ SPITS ]

YOU HAVE OFFENDED HER.

SHE HAS SEEN A SINGLE GRAIN OF

RICE BIGGER THAN THAT DIAMOND.

LOOK, MAN, I'M TELLING YOU --

YOU GOT TO GET MORE BLING-AGE.

WOMEN LOVE BIG ROCKS.

TELL HIM, "D."

ALL RIGHT, SO, CALVIN, YOU'RE

TRYING TO GET HER BLINGY RINGS

AND THINGS, BUT THE PROBLEM

BEING YOU AIN'T GOT NO

CHING-CHA-CHING, RIGHT?

I'M SORRY.

DANA, TRANSLATE WHAT KIKI SAID.

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S COOL.

I LIKE IT.

TELL WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

YOU KNOW THE DUDE THAT THEY

CALL "THE JEWELER"?

YEAH.

THAT'S MY FOURTH COUSIN TWICE

REMOVED ON MY STEP-DADDY'S SIDE.

I COULD HOOK YOU UP.

YEAH, ONCE YOU GET HOOKED

UP, YOU GONNA BE LOCKED UP.

HIS STUFF IS NOT STOLEN.

IT'S JUST BORROWED.

YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA CALL HIM

REAL QUICK, TELL HIM THIS IS AN

EMERGENCY.

PUT THAT UP.

HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE'VE GONE

TWO MILES?

OH, BABY, WE CANNOT GIVE YOU

ALL THE ANSWERS, OKAY?

OKAY, SO, WHAT ABOUT THAT BIG

TREE WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR?

I CAN'T FOCUS ON THAT NOW,

AUNTIE ELLA.

I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM.

YES, WE MUST FIND A LAVATORY.

GIRL, WHAT IS IN YOUR

INHALER?

LOOK AROUND YOU.

WE ARE IN THE WOODS.

AND SO, GIRLS, YOU HAVE TO GO

IN THE BUSHES.

I'M NOT GOING IN NO BUSHES.

AND IF I WAIT ANY LONGER, THAT'D

BE BAD FOR MY BLADDER.

WELL, IF YOU GET SMART WITH

YOUR AUNTIE AGAIN, IT WILL BE

BAD FOR YOUR FUTURE.

I'M HUNGRY.

AND IT'S COLD.

LOOK, LITTLE GIRL, WHY DID

YOU WANT TO BE A GIRL SCOUT

ANYWAY?

WELL, TO BE PART OF THE

SISTERHOOD, I GUESS.

YOU AIN'T NO SISTER.

CLARETHA.

WE'RE LOST, AREN'T WE,

AUNTIE?

NO, BABY.

WE -- WE ARE NOT LOST, NOW.

WE MAY NOT KNOW WHERE WE ARE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WE DON'T

KNOW WHERE WE ARE?

YOU'RE IN CHARGE!

DID SHE JUST ROLL UP ON A

SISTER?

PREPARE TO GET BEAT.

BEAT AT WHAT?

THIS ISN'T A GAME.

IT MEANS "WHOOPED."

YOU KNOW, IT'S SIMILAR TO YOUR

TIME-OUT WITH A PAINFUL TWIST.

MS. CLARETHA, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST USE THE COMPASS?

OH, THAT WAS A COMPASS?

CHILD, I THOUGHT IT WAS A

BROKEN WATCH.

I THREW THAT THING AWAY.

OH, GREAT.

NOW WE'RE NEVER GOING TO GET

BACK.

[ SIGHS ]

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE.

[ WHIMPERING ]

THEY'RE RIGHT, ELLA.

WE'RE GONNA DIE.

[ WHIMPERING ]

FOR SOMEONE WHO'S SAVED, YOU

SURE DON'T ACT LIKE YOU KNOW THE

LORD.

WHERE'S YOUR FAITH, MS.

CLARETHA?

HERE, TRY MY INHALER.

GIRL, GET THAT THING OUT OF

MY FACE.

WE'RE GONERS!

CLARETHA, WOULD YOU PULL

YOURSELF TOGETHER?

OKAY.

AND HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT

TO DO.

OKAY.

WELL, TROOP LEADER DENISE

SAYS THAT WE SHOULD --

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT

THAT WOMAN SAID!

WE ARE STUCK IN THE WILDERNESS

WITH WILD ANIMALS.

CLARETHA, SIT DOWN.

OKAY, GIRLS, LISTEN.

WE ARE REALLY ALL RIGHT, OKAY?

OKAY?

NOW, LISTEN -- JORDAN, WHAT DID

TROOP LEADER DENISE SAY ABOUT

GETTING LOST?

OH, SHE SAID, "DON'T GET

LOST!"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! RUN!

SAVE YOURSELF!"

VERY GOOD.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE DIE EVERY

DAY IN THE WILDERNESS OF

STARVATION OR BEING MAULED BY

SOME WILD ANIMAL?

JORDAN, SWEETIE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THAT DOES NOT HELP.

UH, JORDAN, YOU ARE SERIOUSLY

PUSHING IT.

WELL, I'M JUST TRYING TO GIVE

SOME FACTS ABOUT BEING LOST IN

THE WILDERNESS.

DOES THIS LITTLE GIRL HAVE AN

"OFF" SWITCH?

LOOK! IT'S THE NORTH STAR!

ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW IT,

AND IT'LL LEAD US BACK.

HMM?

HOW?

WE NOT TRYING TO GET TO

BETHLEHEM.

LOOK! THERE'S A RED RIBBON!

WE MUST BE GETTING CLOSE!

MM-HMM, MM-HMM.

GOOD WORK, GIRLS. GO!

THANK GOODNESS!

NOW HUFF AND PUFF YOUR LITTLE

BUTTS UP THAT HILL!

SO, DON'T SAY NOTHING.

LET ME DO ALL THE TALKING, OKAY?

YOU KNOW I'M A MASTER WHEN IT

COMES TO NEGOTIATING.

OKAY, WHATEVER YOU SAY, POPS.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS MY COUSIN, Y'ALL,

"THE JEWELER."

WHAT?!

WHAT'S UP, MY MAN?

HOW YOU DOING?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

THIS IS "THE JEWELER"?

YEAH!

I THOUGHT IT WAS A

THRIFT-STORE LEPRECHAUN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WELL, GREEN IS FOR THE MONEY,

BABY, SOMETHING YOU MIGHT NOT

KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.

OH, NO, HE DIDN'T.

NO, HE DIDN'T.

OH, YES, HE DID.

NOW, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

LET US CHECK OUT THIS POT OF

GOLD.

MM-HMM.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?

OOH!

WOW!

OOH.

NICE.

DAMN.

IT'S PRETTY.

IS THAT LEGAL?

WILL YOU CLOSE YOUR MOUTH?

GOODNESS GRACIOUS, YOU'RE GONNA

MESS UP THE NEGOTIATIONS.

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.

BACK UP, MAN, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, I DON'T WANT YOUR GREASY

FINGERS ALL ON MY MERCHANDISE,

MAN.

WELL, IF I CAN'T TOUCH THEM,

HOW DO WE KNOW THEY REAL?

OH, BELIEVE ME.

YOUR MAMA KNOWS.

I CAN TELL YOU IF THEY'RE

REAL.

MATTER OF FACT, I USED TO WORK

FOR OSWALD DIAMONDS FOR FIVE

YEARS.

REALLY?

THAT'S RIGHT.

FLOYD, YOU WAS A SECURITY

GUARD.

I WAS AN EXECUTIVE SAFETY

ENGINEER.

FLOYD, DIDN'T YOU SIT AT THE

FRONT DOOR, MONITORING THE

PEOPLE?

YEAH.

AND DIDN'T YOU HAVE A

FLASHLIGHT WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF

KEYS?

YEAH.

AND DIDN'T YOU WEAR

HIGH-WATERS AND TUBE SOCKS?

YEAH.

SECURITY GUARD!

OOH.

UH, GO AHEAD, BABY GIRL.

THANK YOU.

YOU LIKE THAT?

MM-HMM, THAT'S NICE.

SEE, A LADY DON'T GET TO SEE

ONE OF THESE UNTIL HER HUSBAND

HAS AN AFFAIR IN COLORADO.

OKAY!

[ LAUGHTER ]

SO, CALVIN, UH, ARE WE GONNA

DO BUSINESS OR WHAT, BABY BOY,

'CAUSE I'VE GOT TO MAKE MOVES,

MAN.

OOH, YEAH.

HOW MUCH IS THIS ONE?

MMM, NOW, SEE, THAT'S $20,000

THERE, BABY.

OH!

IT'S A LOT LIKE THE ONE I GOT

IN MY MOUTH.

Y'ALL SEE THAT?

OH, THAT'S NEW.

THAT'S NEW.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.

NO, I-I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOUR

PRICES WERE REASONABLE.

OH, NO.

HEY, ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT IS

ACTUALLY A $50,000 DIAMOND, MAN.

OKAY, WELL, HOW ABOUT THIS?

HOW MUCH IS THIS ONE?

MMM, NOW, SEE, THAT ONE

THERE -- LET ME SEE THAT -- IS

18 G's, BUT IF YOUR MONEY'S

STRAIGHT, YOU CAN GET IT FOR

$8,000.

HEY. 8 GRAND?

OH, YEAH.

HOLD ON, MAN.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING FOR A

COUPLE OF TWENTIES?

I GOT A COUPLE OF BOXES, MY

MINIMUM-WAGE BROTHER.

YO, CALVIN, YOU TRYING TO GET

HITCHED OR DITCHED?

'CAUSE RIGHT NOW, YOU ACTING

LIKE A LITTLE --

HEY!

WHAT?

I WAS GONNA SAY "CHICK."

NOW, YOU KNOW I RUN A

RESPECTABLE BUSINESS HERE.

NOW, YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH,

CHICK.

OKAY, SO, WHAT'S YOUR

CHEAPEST DIAMOND THEN?

MM.

WELL, UH, THIS ONE HERE IS WORTH

$4,000, BUT I CAN LET YOU HAVE

IT FOR $1,500, MAN.

GET THAT ONE.

NO, NO. NO, THAT'S TOO SMALL.

I'LL TAKE THE ONE FOR EIGHT

GRAND.

EIGHT -- CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING ABOUT?

YOU CAN'T AFFORD EIGHT GRAND.

HOW YOU GONNA PAY FOR IT?

WELL, POPS, MY BABY'S WORTH

IT.

LOOK -- IT HAS MIRANDA WRITTEN

ALL OVER IT.

"MIRANDA."

THAT'S NICE.

WELL, YOU NEED TO GET A

ERASER AND ERASE IT OFF.

UH, NO, NO, NO.

POPS, LET'S NOT PLAYER-HATE, ALL

RIGHT?

NOW, IF HE WANTS IT, HE WANTS

IT, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, WE CAN WORK OUT SOME KIND

OF PAYMENT PLAN, BUT IF YOU

CAN'T MAKE THE PAYMENTS, I GOT

ANOTHER PLAN.

OKAY, SO, DOES THE OTHER PLAN

INCLUDE MY SON GETTING HURT?

YES, SIR.

WE'LL TAKE IT.

MY MAN.

I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THAT.

THAT'S NICE.

EIGHT GRAND.

YOU GOT ONE FOR -- THAT 20-GRAND

ONE -- LET ME SEE THAT ONE

AGAIN.

CAN I GET A BOX FOR IT?

OH, YEAH, MAN, I CAN GET THAT

WRAPPED FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

SHE GONNA LIKE THIS.

YEAH.

OOH! THANK GOODNESS!

CLARETHA.

CLARETHA, WOULD YOU GET UP?

YOU ARE EMBARRASSING US.

HELP ME.

OH. OKAY.

WOULD YOU PLEASE CHILL?

NO ONE KNEW WE WERE LOST.

OKAY.

MS. CLARETHA, ARE YOU ALL

RIGHT?

OH, YEAH, BABY. I'M OKAY.

I WAS JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU

GUYS.

MM-HMM. YEAH, RIGHT.

WELL, GIRLS, AT LEAST YOU GOT

ONE RIBBON.

OH, NO.

WE GOT ALL THE RIBBONS.

YOU DID! AHH!

YEAH, I MEAN, WE COULDN'T GET

OUR BADGES WITHOUT THEM.

WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE

THAT YOU'D GOTTEN THEM.

WELL, THEY WERE ALL AROUND.

YOU JUST HAD TO LOOK.

THIS IS A GREAT LESSON,

LADIES.

WHAT LESSON?

OH, I KNOW -- DON'T GIVE A

COMPASS TO AN OLD TREE.

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, BUT, NO.

GIRLS, BY GETTING THESE RED

RIBBONS, IT JUST PROVES THAT YOU

CAN DO WHATEVER YOU SET YOUR

MINDS TO DO, NO MATTER WHAT THE

OBSTACLES, EVEN IF IT IS AN OLD

TREE.

WHO YOU CALLING OLD?

NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO.

I DON'T WANT TO GO.

GET YOUR HANDS OFF.

GET -- GET -- GET YOUR HANDS --

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

[ GROANING ]

POPS, WAKE UP.

YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DREAM.

DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON --

YOU'RE CRAZY!

I DON'T WANT TO GO!

I DON'T WANT TO GO!

POPS, IT'S ME! IT'S YOUR SON!

IT'S ME! IT'S ME! IT'S ME!

WELL, CALVIN.

CALVIN!

MAN, I WAS HAVING A NIGHTMARE.

MAN, I HAD A DREAM I WAS IN THE

WOODS, RIGHT?

AND THESE PEOPLE CAME, AND THEY

THREW THIS BIG OLD NET ON ME AND

TOOK ME AND CARRIED ME OFF TO

THIS BIG CITY, AND I WAS

CLIMBING BUILDINGS, TRYING TO

GET AWAY FROM THEM, AND THEN

THEY HAD HELICOPTERS ALL OVER.

[ GRUNTING ]

I TRIED TO KNOCK THEM OUT.

[ IMITATES PROPELLERS ]

KNOCK THEM OUT OF THE AIR, LIKE

THAT.

POPS, THAT'S "KING KONG."

OH.

SHUT UP, C. DIDDY.

MR. BIG BALLER.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CUT ME

ANY SLACK, ARE YOU?

NO.

WELL, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW

THAT I TOOK THE RING BACK AND

GOT THE LEAST EXPENSIVE ONE.

GOOD. GOOD.

GLAD YOU CAME TO YOUR SENSES.

NOW, YOU SEE, BEING A MAN

SOMETIMES MEANS YOU GOT TO MAKE

DECISIONS THAT YOU DON'T WANT

TO MAKE.

I KNOW.

I REALIZE IT'S NOT ABOUT MY EGO

OR MIRANDA.

SHE KNOWS I LOVE HER NO MATTER

HOW BIG THE RING IS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S RIGHT, SON.

I'M PROUD OF YOU.

THANK YOU.

OH, OH, BY THE WAY, I NEED YOU

TO FILL THIS OUT.

WHAT IS IT?

HERE YOU GO.

WAIT A MINUTE.

"THE JEWELER" GOT A CREDIT

APPLICATION?

YEP, AND I PUT YOUR NAME ON

IT.

HE AIN'T GONNA GET ME.

CALVIN.

CALVIN!

THANK YOU!

YOU KNOW GOOD WELL I'M NOT

SIGNING THIS MESS.

LOVE YOU!

WHATEVER.

GO BACK TO MY DREAM.

SO WHAT DO YOU WANT, MY

MINIMUM-WAGE BROTHER?

UH, YOU CAN LOSE THE

MINIMUM-WAGE JOKE.

UM...

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

OH, OH, I LIKE THIS.

I LIKE THIS RIGHT HERE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OOH, I LIKE THAT ONE!

WELL, THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL

CHOICE THERE.

YEAH, THAT'S NICE, TOO.

UH-HUH.

OH, THIS ONE, THOUGH, THIS

ONE RIGHT HERE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

SHE'D LIKE THAT.

WHAT'S THE DAMAGE ON THIS?

OOH, THAT'S GONNA BE $3,500.

HOW ABOUT $600?

HOW ABOUT $1,500?

HOW ABOUT $600?

HOW ABOUT $1,000?

HOW ABOUT 911?

HOW ABOUT I GIFT WRAP THIS

FOR YOU?

THIS THE ONE YOU WANT, RIGHT?

YEAH.

$1,600 SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.

YEAH, YEAH.

$300.

ALL RI--

YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART.

YEAH, WRAP IT WHILE IT'S

BROKEN.