Original subtitles

SO, MALIK, WHO WOULD YOU

RATHER GO OUT WITH -- BEYONCE OR

RIHANNA?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'D HAVE TO TAKE BOTH OF THEM.

I DON'T WANT THEM TO HAVE TO

FIGHT OVER ME, YOU KNOW?

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH, RIGHT.

WELL, WHO WOULD YOU TAKE?

I'D PICK WENDY.

WENDY FROM SCHOOL?

YOU KNOW IT.

MAN, I'LL GET BEYONCE,

RIHANNA, AND OUR NEW MATH

TEACHER BEFORE YOU EVEN GET

WENDY'S NUMBER.

BOW!

WENDY'S NUMBER RIGHT THERE.

SO-SO, UH, WHERE'S BEYONCE?

WHERE'S RIHANNA?

THEY COMING LATER.

ALL RIGHT, WHATEVER.

MAN, HOW'D YOU GET THIS?

SHE IS FINE.

I KNOW. [ LAUGHS ]

YOU GOING THROUGH PEOPLE'S

GARBAGE AGAIN?

PLEASE, YOU KNOW I GOT

SKILLS.

DON'T HATE.

SO, UH, LET ME GET MY NUMBER

BACK.

IF YOU GOT SKILLS, WHY IS

THERE ONLY 6 NUMBERS ON THERE?

WELL, SEE, I GOT 6, AND ALL

THE OTHER GUYS GOT 3.

THAT'S A PLUS FOR ME.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, YOU MAY

HAVE GOTTEN THE CUTEST GIRL AT

SCHOOL SIDEKICK'S NUMBER, BUT

I'M GONNA GET THE CUTEST GIRL

IN SCHOOL'S NUMBER.

YOU TALKING ABOUT SAVANNAH?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, YOU CAN TRY, BUT YOU

KNOW SHE'S CAPTAIN OF THE

CHEERLEADING SQUAD.

YOU CAN'T GET HER NUMBER.

TEACHERS CAN'T EVEN GET HER

NUMBER.

YOU WANT TO MAKE A BET?

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, I BET I GET

SAVANNAH'S NUMBER AND ALL

THE GIRLS ON THE CHEERLEADING

SQUAD NUMBER.

THAT'S A BET.

ALL RIGHT.

IF I WIN, YOU GOT TO WEAR A SIGN

AT THE FOOTBALL GAME SAYING,

"MALIK IS THE MAN."

OKAY, OKAY, WELL, CHECK THIS

OUT -- IF I WIN, YOU HAVE TO GET

A TATTOO THAT SAYS, "KEVIN IS

THE MAN."

A SIGN WILL DO.

JAZI,

IF YOU WANT TO GO SEE YOUR MOM

ANY TIME, I'LL TAKE YOU

OVER THERE.

JUST BECAUSE YOUR MOMMY IS

MOVING IN WITH BRYAN DOESN'T

MEAN THAT WE CAN'T ALL GO

AND HANG OUT TOGETHER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AS LONG AS HE'S PAYING.

OH, GOOD. HEY, MALIK.

COME HERE, I NEED TO TALK TO

YOU AND JAZMINE FOR A MOMENT.

UM, IF IT'S ABOUT THOSE

PERFUME BOTTLES, I DIDN'T KNOW

THAT YOU HAD TO BUBBLE-WRAP

THEM BEFORE YOU PACK THEM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OH, NOTHING, NOTHING.

OKAY, UM, JAZI, MALIK,

I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT...

I AM HAVING A BABY.

A BABY BABY?

YES!

NOW I'LL FINALLY HAVE SOMEBODY

TO BOSS AROUND!

AND NOW -- NOW JAZMINE,

SHE CAN LEAVE ME ALONE, AND SHE

CAN GET ON THE BABY'S NERVES.

SO IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?

UM, WE DON'T KNOW YET.

WELL, I HOPE IT IS A GIRL

'CAUSE THEN I HAVE SOMEBODY TO

PLAY DOLLS WITH.

RIGHT.

I HOPE IT'S A BOY -- I CAN

TAKE HIM OUTSIDE, PLAY FRISBEE

WITH HIM, TAKE HIM FOR WALKS

AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

MALIK, IT'S A BABY,

NOT A DOG.

SIT DOWN.

DADDY, THERE'S A NEW BABY IN

THE FAMILY.

ARE YOU EXCITED?

[ Sarcastically ] YEAH.

I HAVE TO GO TELL MISS MISSY.

OKAY, COME ON, I'LL GO

WITH YOU.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU TALKING TO ME?

OKAY, WHAT'S UP, SON?

NOW THAT THE WOMAN AND

THE CHILDREN ARE GONE...

I THINK US MEN NEED TO HAVE

A TALK.

WHEN THIS BABY COMES, MOM WILL

HAVE 3 KIDS.

HOW MANY WILL YOU HAVE?

TWO, THE SAME TWO I'VE

ALWAYS HAD.

OKAY, JUST CHECKING,

JUST CHECKING.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN NEVER

ASSUME ANYTHING IN

THE HOUSE OF PAYNE.

GOT THAT RIGHT.

SO, MALIK, WHY'D YOU ASK

THE KEV TO COME OVER HERE?

YOU NEED TIPS ON MAKING YOUR

SIGN, OR DO YOU WANT TO DROP

THE BET ALTOGETHER?

NO, BUT THE KEV MIGHT WANT TO

START GETTING HIS SIGN TOGETHER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'LL SEE.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

GO GET THE DOOR.

GO GET THE DOOR.

WHERE YOU GOING?

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT

BREATHING UP MY GOOD AIR?

AND STAY THAT WAY.

HI! MY NAME'S SAVANNAH!

IS MALIK HERE?

MALIK WHO?

MALIK PAYNE!

THAT MALIK PAYNE?

W-WELL, I'M MALIK PAYNE.

SIT DOWN, KEVIN.

OH! OH! WHO DO WE HAVE --

WHO DO WE HAVE HERE?

UNH-UNH.

YES.

ELLA, THESE YOUNG LADIES ARE

HERE TO SEE MALIK.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

THIS MALIK?

YES, AUNTIE ELLA, IT IS I.

AUNTIE ELLA, JUST CALL ME

"CHARLIE" 'CAUSE THESE, THEY

GONNA BE MY ANGELS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE JUST SAID, "ANGELS."

THAT'S MY BOY!

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD IT IN YOU,

PLAYA-PLAYA.

PLAYA-PLAYA!

OKAY, CURTIS?

CURTIS?

COME ON, BABY.

LET HIM, UH, ENTERTAIN HIS

FRIENDS. COME ON, BABY.

OKAY.

SO, MALIK, WE HAVE DECIDED

TO ACCEPT YOUR APPLICATION TO

BECOME PART OF THE SUGAR BEARS

CHEERLEADING SQUAD!

COOL.

WHAT?!

MALIK, COME HERE.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU REAL

QUICK.

WE NEED TO TALK.

DON'T WORRY, ANGELS, OKAY?

JUST MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

CHARLIE GONNA BE BACK, OKAY?

OW.

WELL, WHY'D YOU HIT ME?

BECAUSE YOU WITH HIM.

NOW, LOOK, ALL THIS SUGAR

BEAR -- SUGAR...

[ STUTTERING ]

I'M SO UPSET, I CAN'T EVEN SAY

IT, ELLA.

CURTIS, WOULD YOU JUST STOP

IT?

IT DOES NOT MATTER IF HE IS A

SUGAR BEAR OR GRIZZLY BEAR OR

A HONEY BEAR.

MEN CAN BE CHEERLEADERS.

THE HELL THEY CAN!

WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, ELLA?

HOW YOU GONNA --

GO! WIN! GO, TEAM!

HEY! HEY!

WHAT IS THAT?

DO IT AGAIN.

GO, TEAM!

GO, TEAM!

GO...TEAM!

WHAT DID I LOOK LIKE, ELLA?

CURTIS --

I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT IT

LOOKS LIKE, A SUGAR BEAR!

THAT'S WHAT IT LOOK LIKE, AND

I'M LETTING YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW,

THE ONLY SUGAR BEAR THAT'S

GONNA BE IN THIS HOUSE IS ON

A CEREAL BOX, YOU HEARD ME?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.

WHAT'S THIS?

WHAT YOU GOT IN HERE?

UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU

DOING?

I'M CHECKING EVERYTHING YOU

PACKED TO MAKE SURE YOU PACKING

ALL THE STUFF THAT BELONG TO YOU

AND NOT TO ME.

HOLD ON, WHOSE LOTION IS THIS?

ELLA, YOU GOT SOME LOTION?!

UNCLE CURTIS, EVERYTHING YOU

SEE IN THIS BOX IS MINE.

JANINE, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU

AIN'T BEEN KNOWN TO HAVE STICKY

FINGERS, FINGERS LIKE TWO-SIDED

TAPE.

WHERE YOU GET THIS?

WHERE YOU GET THIS STUFF?

WHERE YOU GET THEM MARK --

THE MARKER AND THE TAPE?

WHERE YOU GET THAT FROM?

THAT JUST POPPED OUT OF NOWHERE?

IT'S CALLED A STORE.

ARE YOU EVER GONNA TRUST ME

AGAIN, UNCLE CURTIS?

AGAIN?

AGAIN.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT?

I COULD NEVER TRUST YOU

AGAIN BECAUSE I NEVER TRUSTED

YOU THE FIRST TIME.

SEE, YOU HAVE TO TRUST SOMEBODY

TO BE ABLE TO TRUST THEM AGAIN.

I GET IT.

YOU REALLY MOVING OUT, HUH?

YES.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, WHEN YOU

OFFICIALLY FORWARD YOUR MAIL

OVER TO BRYAN'S HOUSE,

I'LL START TRUSTING YOU.

SO, HOW'S THE PACKING GOING?

Both: NOT FAST ENOUGH.

UH, JANINE, SIT DOWN.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

OKAY.

JANINE, SINCE YOU AND C.J.

HAD THAT, YOU KNOW, THAT ONE

NIGHT TOGETHER, ARE YOU SURE

THAT C.J. IS NOT THE FATHER OF

THIS BABY?

YES. OKAY?

I TALKED TO MY DOCTOR, AND

ACCORDING MY DUE DATE, BRYAN IS

DEFINITELY THE FATHER.

ACCORDING TO A DUE DATE?

BRYAN IS DEFINITELY

THE FATHER.

GOOD.

MISS ELLA, LISTEN, I LOVE

BRYAN, OKAY?

I CAN'T WAIT FOR US TO START OUR

NEW LIFE TOGETHER.

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED.

THE NIGHT WITH C.J. WAS A

MISTAKE, AND IF IT HAD TURNED

OUT TO BE HIS BABY, I REALLY

DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO.

I DO!

YOU'D HAVE TOOK YOUR KIDS AND

GOT THE HELL OUT.

QUESTIONS?

HI, MALIK!

WE'RE HERE FOR THE INTERVIEW.

ARE YOUR PARENTS HOME?

UH, YEAH.

JUST A MINUTE.

UH, MOM, DAD?

HI!

WHAT'S -- WHAT'S GOING

ON, MALIK?

DAD, YOU KNOW THAT TODAY IS

MY INTERVIEW FOR THE SUGAR

BEARS.

THEY JUST CAME BY TO SEE HOW

WE ACT AS A FAMILY, ASK YOU

SOME QUESTIONS.

OH. OH, OH, OKAY.

UM, DON'T YOU HAVE A SISTER?

NO.

YES. JAZMINE!

[ GASPING ]

OH, MALIK'S STILL A SUGAR

BEAR WANNABE, HUH?

JAZMINE, THE YOUNG LADIES

JUST WANT TO ASK US SOME SIMPLE

QUESTIONS, OKAY?

HAVE EITHER OF YOU ATTENDED

A FOUR-YEAR INSTITUTION, AND IF

SO, WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?

UH...

DO YOU GUYS OWN YOUR OWN

HOME?

WELL --

ARE YOU TWO STILL MARRIED?

WHAT?!

WHAT CHURCH DO YOU ATTEND,

AND WHAT'S YOUR CREDIT SCORE?

WHOA, NOW WAIT A MINUTE NOW.

AND IS JAZMINE'S BELLY

BUTTON AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANY OF

YOUR BUSINESS.

[ LAUGHS ]

WAIT A MINUTE NOW.

OKAY, UH, WHAT DOES ALL THIS

HAVE TO DO WITH CHEERLEADING?

MALIK, CHEERLEADING IS MORE

THAN JUST POMPOMS AND

MINISKIRTS.

IT'S A WAY OF LIFE.

OKAY.

BUT I THINK WE'VE HEARD

ENOUGH TO MAKE OUR DECISION,

SO GIVE US A MOMENT, PLEASE.

GIRLS!

THEY'RE SO CUTE,

LOOK AT THAT.

LOOK, DON'T WORRY ABOUT

THIS.

THEY AIN'T GONNA PICK ME.

OUR FAMILY SUCKS.

I CAN'T CHEER.

THEY AIN'T GONNA PICK ME.

WHAT?

I ALREADY GOT THEIR PHONE

NUMBERS AND ADDRESSES.

I'M GOOD.

MALIK, IT WAS A VERY HARD

DECISION, BUT AFTER CAREFUL

DELIBERATION, WE'VE DECIDED TO

MAKE YOU THE NEW FACE OF

THE SUGAR BEARS!

[ CHEERING ]

THAT'S GREAT.

LOOK AT THAT.

I CAN'T BE A SUGAR BEAR.

OH, YOU'RE NOT ONLY THAT.

YOU ARE OUR CO-CAPTAIN!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THIS IS JUST WONDERFUL.

THIS MEANS YOU GET TO THINK OF

THE DANCES AND THE CHEERS, AND

YOU EVEN GET TO TAKE CARE OF

THE POMPOMS!

THE POMPOMS!

THAT'S WONDERFUL!

I THINK I'M GONNA PASS OUT.

OH, DON'T WORRY.

IT'S JUST PROBABLY COLD FEET.

IT HAPPENS A LOT WHEN WE ELECT

NEW BEARS.

WELL, THERE'S A MEETING AFTER

SCHOOL TOMORROW, AND THERE'S

GONNA BE A SLUMBER PARTY AT

CARRIE'S HOUSE THIS FRIDAY!

SO YOU'RE GONNA BRING

THE CUPCAKES.

BYE!

GO, SUGAR BEARS!

BYE!

THANKS!

MALIK, YOU ARE THE FACE OF

THE SUGAR BEARS!

MAN, LOOK AT YOU.

COME ON, BUDDY.

THIS IS GREAT.

YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, SON?

YOU WANTED TO BE A SUGAR DADDY.

NOW YOU'RE A SUGAR BEAR.

YOUR PLAN BACKFIRED, SON.

YOU THINK?

I CAN'T BE A CHEERLEADER.

WELL, I PERSONALLY DON'T SEE

ANYTHING WRONG WITH A MAN BEING

A CHEERLEADER.

MALIK, YOU MIGHT ENJOY IT.

JANINE, LET THIS BE BETWEEN

ME AND MY SON, OKAY?

FINE. COME ON, JAZI.

READY! OKAY!

MALIK'S A MORON!

YEAH, MALIK'S A MORON!

YEAH, A MIGHTY MORON!

YEAH, MALIK'S A MORON!

GO, MORONS! YAY!

DAD, THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO

HAPPEN LIKE THIS, OKAY?

I CAN'T BE A CHEERLEADER.

I CAN'T CHEER.

THEY CAME OVER HERE, THEY ASKED

YOU AND MOM QUESTIONS.

YOU ALL DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER THEM.

I'M NOT EXCITED ABOUT THIS

EITHER, SON, BUT YOU GOT

YOURSELF INTO THIS MESS,

SUGAR BEAR.

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST NOT EVEN

GONNA SHOW UP.

I MIGHT JUST TRANSFER SCHOOLS.

OH, YOU -- YOU GONNA MESS

WITH THOSE GIRLS, HUH?

MAN, THOSE ARE STEPFORD

CHILDREN.

YOU SEE ALL THAT SYNCHRONICITY

AND EVERYTHING WITH THE HANDS?

THEM GIRLS WILL CHEW YOU UP.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

AND YOU JUST GONNA WALK OUT ON

THEM NOW JUST BECAUSE THEY,

WHAT, MADE YOU THE CO-CAPTAIN?

YEAH.

NO!

NO, YOU ARE GONNA FINISH WHAT

YOU STARTED.

SO JUST GRAB YOUR LITTLE POMPOMS

AND MAN UP.

HEY, DAD, LOOK.

SECOND PLACE AT THE CHEERLEADING

COMPETITION.

CONGRATULATIONS, MAN.

LOOK AT YOU.

MAN, I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU MADE

GOOD ON YOUR PROMISE, BOY.

YEAH. YOU KNOW, I REALLY

LIKE CHEERLEADING.

I'M REALLY STARTING TO LIKE IT.

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD, MAN.

IT'S ALL WORKING OUT FOR YOU.

I'M GLAD TO SEE THAT.

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

SECOND PLACE. [ LAUGHS ]

HEY.

WHAT'S UP?

OUR TROPHY -- THAT'S WHAT'S

UP.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WE CAME TO GET IT.

BUT I THOUGHT THAT THE

CO-CAPTAIN GOT TO KEEP IT FOR

A WEEK.

YEAH, ABOUT THAT -- WE VOTED,

AND AFTER VERY SHORT

DELIBERATION, WE DECIDED YOU'RE

NO LONGER CO-CAPTAIN.

AND WHY NOT?

SUGAR BEARS DON'T DO

SECOND PLACE.

WELL, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT

A MINUTE.

WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS SUPPOSED

TO BE A TEAM EFFORT.

I MEAN, YOU CAN'T BLAME IT

ALL ON MALIK.

HE DROPPED CARRIE.

OH.

OH, YOU POOR CHILD.

MALIK, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT

YOU DROPPED CARRIE.

I'M SORRY, DAD.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT THEY USED

BABY OIL AND THEY LOTION UP

BEFORE THEY GO OUT THERE AND

CHEER AND STUFF.

I JUST WENT LIKE THAT, AND SHE

CAME DOWN.

SO YOU'RE OFF THE SQUAD, AND

YOU'RE UNINVITED TO THE SLUMBER

PARTY.

BUT YOU STILL NEED TO BRING

THOSE CUPCAKES.

COME ON, SUGAR BEARS, LET'S GO.

WELL, AT LEAST I GOT THEIR

PHONE NUMBER AND THEIR

ADDRESSES.

AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT

CALLING ME OR ANY OF THE OTHER

SUGAR BEARS.

WE CHANGED OUR NUMBERS.

I'M REALLY SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE

THE NONCHEERFUL SIDE OF ME,

MR. PAYNE.

BUT SUGAR BEARS CAN'T ALWAYS BE

SWEET, YOU KNOW?

SOMETIMES, WE JUST HAVE TO BE

SOUR BEARS.

TOODLES!

BYE, SAVANNAH.

SON, WAS IT THE BABY OIL?

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?

DAD, I THREW HER UP IN THE

AIR -- WHEN I SAW THAT SKIRT,

I WAS LIKE, "WHOO!"

I JUST THREW HER UP, AND I'M

LIKE THIS.

UNCLE CURTIS, I WANT TO

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME STAY

HERE.

B-B-BABY, PLEASE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME,

JANINE.

YOUR ABSENCE IS THANKS ENOUGH.

MISS ELLA, YOU HAVE BEEN

LIKE A MOTHER TO ME.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SEEING THE

GOOD IN ME WHEN OTHERS COULDN'T.

JANINE, THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE

A GOOD PERSON.

OH, MAN!

WHAT YOU GONNA GO IN THERE FOR?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

DON'T MAKE NO SENSE.

AND I BET YOU THAT GIRL GONNA

FALL DOWN.

SHE GONNA FALL DOWN.

THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO.

IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME.

C.J., THANK YOU FOR LOVING

ME.

I MEAN, YOU -- YOU WERE THERE

THROUGH ALL MY ISSUES, AND YOU

DIDN'T HAVE TO BE.

YOU'RE A GREAT GUY, AND TANYA IS

REALLY LUCKY TO HAVE YOU.

I TOLD YOU!

I TOLD YOU SHE WAS GONNA FALL

DOWN!

THAT GIRL WAS GONNA FALL DOWN!

COME ON, BE ORIGINAL.

UH, YEAH. BRYAN IS REAL

LUCKY TO HAVE YOU, TOO, GIRL.

MY BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,

I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

I WOULDN'T TRADE YOU IN FOR

ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

JAZMINE, ANY TIME YOU AND

MISS MISSY WANT TO COME TO THE

HOUSE, YOU KNOW, AND SPEND THE

WEEKEND, YOU JUST CALL ME.

I WILL BE RIGHT THERE WAITING

FOR YOU.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

OOH, THAT'S AMAZING. OOH!

OH, THE WHOLE HEAD --

[ CHAINSAW BUZZING ]

EW!

GROSS!

MALIK, MY LITTLE SUGAR BEAR.

OH, I'M GONNA MISS CHEERING

WITH YOU.

YOU KNOW, ANY TIME YOU NEED MORE

CHEERS FOR THE SUGAR BEARS,

YOU JUST --

JANINE.

BABY, WAIT A MINUTE.

AREN'T YOU MOVING TWO MILES

AWAY?

OKAY.

THE KIDS GOT TO GO PAST YOUR

HOUSE EVERY MORNING TO GO TO

SCHOOL.

YEAH.

AND YOU AND C.J. TAKING THE

KIDS OUT TOMORROW, AREN'T YOU?

MNH-MNH.

THEN WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL

UP AND GET OUT?

O-U-T, OUT?