Original subtitles

THANK YOU.

NO PROBLEM.

HEY, CALVIN, GO AHEAD AND

FINISH THIS ONE UP FOR DELANTE.

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

LET'S SEE, LET'S SEE.

I'M GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BIT OFF

THE SIDE, CLEAN YOU UP RIGHT

THERE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

HOLD UP, HOLD UP.

I AIN'T TALKING ABOUT THAT.

PUT THEM DOWN.

WHAT I'M SAYING -- THE HAIRCUT'S

FINE.

I WANT YOU TO FINISH BY FLIPPING

THE SMOCK, BRUSH OFF HIS HAIR,

AND JUST SWEEP THE REST OF THE

FLOOR UP.

OH, THAT'S IT?

NO.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH, AND GET ME

SOME COFFEE -- BLACK...

LIKE YOU.

SORRY ABOUT THAT HOLDUP THERE.

EXCUSE ME, IS DELANTE HERE?

FOR $30 AND THREE BUS PASSES,

I'M DELANTE.

WHAT'S UP, BEAUTIFUL?

HEY, HANDSOME.

EVERYONE, THIS IS PATRICE.

PATRICE...

THIS IS EVERYONE.

SO, ARE YOU READY FOR

SOMETHING DELICIOUS FOR LUNCH

TODAY?

I MADE RESERVATIONS AT

CHEZ L'MONT.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT LUNCH, BUT

I'M ALWAYS READY FOR SOMETHING

DELICIOUS.

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU ARE SO BAD.

AND YOU ARE SO SEXY.

HEY, Y'ALL ARE MAKING ME SO

SICK.

I'LL BE BACK TO PICK YOU UP

LATER.

ALL RIGHT, BABY.

SEE YOU SOON.

YOU SURE WILL.

MM!

YO, MAN, WHERE'D YOU MEET

HER?

AT THE GROCERY STORE IN THE

FINE-AS-HELL SECTION.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HEY, BEAUTIFUL.

HEY, DELANTE.

EVERYONE, THIS IS GWEN.

GWEN, THIS IS EVERYONE.

DIDN'T YOU JUST INTRODUCE --

YEAH, SO, GWEN, WHAT BRINGS

YOU BY?

I JUST STOPPED BY TO SEE IF

WE WERE STILL ON FOR DINNER

AND, UM...

DESSERT.

OH, THAT DEPENDS...

ARE YOU STILL ON THE MENU?

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU KNOW I AM.

WELL, THEN ME AND MY APPETITE

WILL BE THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

UH...

I'M SO SORRY, MAN.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO FINISH YOUR

SHOES LATER 'CAUSE I GET SO

NAUSEOUS WHEN I HEAR A BUNCH OF

BULL--

MAN, IF I WASN'T WITH

MIRANDA, I'D SIGN UP FOR YOUR

PLAYER SCHOOL.

WELL, HEY, THAT'S TOO BAD

BECAUSE IN MY SCHOOL, WE GRADE

ON CURVES.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OH, REALLY?

AND WHAT SCHOOL IS THAT -- THE

CHICKENHEAD COMMUNITY COLLEGE?

DANA, YOU JUST MAD 'CAUSE WE

SENT YOU A REJECTION LETTER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

B-BAWK, B-BAWK, BAWK, BAWK.

[ LAUGHS ]

SORRY.

NOW, THAT'S JUST TRIFLING.

I WOULD NEVER DONATE ANYTHING I

WOULDN'T WEAR MYSELF.

[ LAUGHS ]

MY QUESTION IS, WHO WOULD WEAR

YOUR CLOTHES?

OHH.

OH, THANK YOU.

RIGHT HERE.

AWW, THANK YOU.

ONLY CUTE PEOPLE WITH TASTE

'CAUSE UGLY PEOPLE SHOULD NOT

DRAW ATTENTION TO THEMSELVES.

[ LAUGHS ] CLARETHA!

HEY, HEY, HEY.

HEY, BABY.

HEY, CALVIN.

HERE ARE SOME CLOTHES FOR THE

CLOTHING DRIVE.

THANK YOU.

THERE YOU GO.

WAIT, BABY, THESE CLOTHES ARE

NEW.

THIS ONE EVEN STILL HAS THE TAG

ON THEM.

THEY'RE NOT NEW.

THEY'RE A MONTH OLD, BUT THEY'RE

OUT OF STYLE.

I CAN'T HAVE THE LADIES THINKING

I'M BROKE.

CALVIN, BUT YOU ARE.

BUT THAT'S MY LITTLE SECRET.

LOOK, IT'S LUNCHTIME, AND I GOT

TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT.

A BROTHER IS HUNGRY, UNLESS YOU

WANT TO MAKE ME A SANDWICH.

MNH-MNH.

OH, ELLA, I GOT THIS.

BOY, GET OUT.

ALL RIGHT.

BE BREEZY.

ALL RIGHT.

BE EASY.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY.

ELLA?

HMM?

SINCE THE KIDS ARE SPENDING

THE NIGHT AT THE CHURCH'S YOUTH

LOCK-IN, YOU WANT TO BOUNCE OVER

LATER TO KEENAN'S BACHELOR

PARTY?

BOUNCE?

YES, BOUNCE, AS IN HOP OVER,

GO TO, WALK.

GIRL, YOU BETTER GET WITH THE

TIMES.

HEY, SISTER ELLA, SISTER

CLARETHA.

HOW YOU DOING?

SHEILA.

SHEILA.

I JUST CAME BY TO DROP OFF

SOME DRESSES AND THINGS, BUT,

I'M SORRY, I WON'T BE ABLE TO

STAY AND HELP WITH THE DRIVE.

WELL, I'M SORRY YOU CAN'T

STAY, BUT THANK YOU FOR THE

DONATION.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHAT'S WRONG?

OH, NOTHING.

I'M ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, I'M JUST IN A HURRY.

GIRL, THOSE SUNGLASSES ARE

TIGHT.

TIGHT?

YES, TIGHT, AS IN THEY LOOK

GOOD, THEY'RE NICE.

THEY WOULD LOOK BETTER ON ME,

THOUGH.

LET ME TRY THEM ON.

UH, YOU KNOW, MY BOYFRIEND IS

OUTSIDE, AND, UM, I DON'T WANT

TO KEEP HIM WAITING, SO I'M JUST

GONNA GO.

SHEILA, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

BABY, I KNOW YOU SAID THAT YOU

WERE ALL RIGHT, BUT I DON'T

THINK THAT YOU ARE.

SO IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME, CALL

ME ANYTIME.

YOU GOT MY NUMBER, RIGHT?

YES, I DO.

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, SEE Y'ALL LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

CLARETHA, ARE YOU THINKING WHAT

I'M THINKING?

MM-HMM.

SHE WAS BEING REAL STINGY WITH

HER SUNGLASSES.

NO, NO, NO.

HER BOYFRIEND'S BEATING HER.

WHAT?

SUNGLASSES -- AIN'T NO SUN

OUTSIDE.

OH.

THAT WAS GONNA BE MY SECOND

GUESS.

OH, THANK YOU, BABY.

[ SIGHS ]

MAN, I GOT TO SIT DOWN.

I'M STUFFED.

YOU WAS GONE FOR LIKE FOUR

HOURS.

YOU'VE BEEN AT LUNCH THIS

WHOLE TIME?

YEAH.

CHEZ L'MONT IN FRENCH MEANS,

"DAMN, THE GIRL CAN EAT."

WAS SHE WORTH IT?

OUI, OUI.

IT TURNS OUT PATRICE IS A BUYER

FOR A STORE.

SHE'S TAKING ME SHOPPING

TOMORROW TO BUY ME A WHOLE NEW

WARDROBE.

OOH, YOU GOT TO HOOK ME UP.

LOOK HERE -- GET ME A COWBOY HAT

WITH SOME RHINESTONES.

ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, AND GET ME ONE OF THOSE

LEATHER VESTS WITH THE TASSELS

AND EVERYTHING -- RED.

COOL.

YEAH, YEAH, AND GET ME SOME

FLYPAPER, SOME HONEY, AND SOME

SPURS.

AND SOME COWBOY BOOTS?

COWBOY BOOTS FOR WHAT, BOY?

I JUST NEED THE SPURS.

YOU DON'T KNOW OLD-SCHOOL FREAK,

DAWG, OLD-SCHOOL FREAK.

ALL RIGHT, SORRY TO INTERRUPT

YOUR RODEO OR YOUR LITTLE

HOEDOWN OR WHATEVER IT IS.

DON'T DELANTE GOT ANOTHER DATE

IN LIKE A HALF HOUR?

HUH?

MM.

OH, MY DINNER WITH GWEN!

OH, SHOOT.

MAYBE I CAN CALL HER BEFORE SHE

GETS HERE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

UH-UH.

HEY, BABY.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL YOU.

REALLY?

YEAH, I WAS THINKING THAT

MAYBE WE CAN SKIP DINNER AND

JUST GO TO DESSERT.

SKIP DINNER?

BUT MY FRIEND, TAREEK, IS

PREPARING A VERY SPECIAL MEAL AT

THE CASBAH CAFE, AND I WAS GONNA

FEED YOU WITH MY FINGERS

MOROCCAN-STYLE.

YEAH?

AND I THINK I'M GONNA THROW

UP AMERICAN-STYLE.

HOW YOU DO THAT?

[ MAKES VOMITING SOUNDS ]

HAI!

SO SORRY.

THANK YOU.

NOW, YOU KNOW THERE'S GONNA

BE A STRIPPER AT THE BACHELOR

PARTY.

A STRIPPER?

MM-HMM.

GIRL, CURTIS KNOW BETTER

THAN TO HAVE A STRIPPER UP IN MY

HOUSE, BUT I AIN'T WORRIED IF HE

DOES.

WHAT A STRIPPER GOT ON ME?

I CAN POP --

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME ANSWER

THAT.

[ RINGING ]

[ LAUGHS ]

HELLO? HELLO?

HI, SHEILA.

YES, YES, YES, I'M STILL AT THE

FIREHOUSE.

WE GOT A LOT OF CLOTHES THAT

JUST CAME IN.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

WAIT, BABY.

SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.

SHEILA, I'M ON MY WAY.

AND OPEN THE DOOR SO WE WON'T

HAVE TO KICK IT IN.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, BYE.

BYE-BYE.

COME ON, BABY, LET'S JUMP.

IT'S BOUNCE, ELLA.

BOUNCE, JUMP, HIP-HOP, SKIP.

PUT IT DOWN ANYWHERE, BABY.

COME ON, HONEY, COME ON, HONEY.

COME ON, WE GOT TO GO.

GIRL, GET BEHIND THE TRASH

CAN.

WILL YOU JUST LET ME SWEEP?

YOU DIDN'T LEARN HOW TO SWEEP

IN JAIL?

WHOA, DELANTE, YOU DON'T LOOK

TOO GOOD, MAN.

MAN, I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD.

UH-HUH.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET --

BACK-TO-BACK LUNCHES TRYING TO

PLAY SOMEBODY.

NO, WHAT I GET IS FRONT-ROW

SEATS TO THE HAWKS GAME.

OOH, WHEN WE GOING?

WE AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

IT'S GONNA BE ME, GWEN, AND ALL

THE OTHER FANS.

WELL, I CAN'T WAIT FOR GWEN

TO FIND OUT THAT YOU'RE PLAYING

HER, AND THEN SHE'S GONNA

SLAM-DUMP YOU.

DANA, COME HERE.

YOU GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE.

WHAT'S ON MY FACE?

WHAT'S ON MY FACE?

OH, WAIT, NO, NEVER MIND.

THAT'S JUST HATE.

[ SCOFFS ]

ALL RIGHT, SO, ARE YOU DONE

WITH THIS BUSINESS FOR ONE DAY?

PLEASE.

I'M JUST TAKING A LITTLE BREAK.

OHH, IT'S MEN LIKE YOU MAKE

ME WANT TO...

[ MUTTERS ]

I'M HEADED OVER TO GWEN'S

HOUSE RIGHT NOW TO PICK UP THE

TICKETS AND THE DESSERT SHE

PROMISED ME.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

HOLD UP, MY LITTLE BLEXICAN

GIGOLO.

THIS IS ALL FINE AND GOOD, AND I

APPRECIATE YOUR DRIVE, BUT

PLAYING TWO WOMEN AT ONE TIME --

THAT'S VERY, VERY DANGEROUS.

TAKE IT FROM SOMEBODY THAT KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I AIN'T GOT BUT THREE

TOES LEFT ON THIS FOOT NOW.

AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS

PIMP-WALKING.

[ LAUGHS ]

CLARETHA, GET ME SOME ICE AND

THE FIRST-AID KIT.

IT'S UNDER THE SINK.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD

CALL SISTER MASON.

YOU KNOW, SHE HELPED JACKIE LAST

YEAR WHEN HER HUSBAND WAS ACTING

CRAZY AND HOLDING HER HOSTAGE.

RIGHT.

OKAY, SHEILA, WE NEED TO TALK.

MNH-MNH.

IF I SAY ANYTHING, LEROY WILL

KILL ME.

OVER MY DEAD, WELL-DRESSED

BODY.

SHEILA, IN ORDER FOR US TO

CALL SISTER MASON TO GET YOU

INTO THE WOMEN'S SHELTER, WE

NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

LEROY WILL HURT ME.

SHEILA, BABY, LISTEN.

PLEASE TELL US -- HOW LONG HAS

THIS BEEN GOING ON?

[ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, WELL...

WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER,

EVERYTHING WAS FINE.

AND THEN, UM, ONE DAY, WE

ARGUED, AND HE JUST UP AND HIT

ME.

THAT WAS ABOUT SIX MONTHS AGO.

SIX MONTHS?

BABY, WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE THEN?

BECAUSE...

HE PROMISED HE WOULD NEVER DO IT

AGAIN.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY, HE BROKE

THAT PROMISE.

AND IF YOU'RE NOT CAREFUL, HE'S

GONNA BREAK YOUR NECK.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

HIS JOB IS STRESSFUL, AND -- AND

I KNOW HOW HE IS WHEN HE'S

STRESSED.

AND I JUST -- I SHOULDN'T HAVE

BOTHERED HIM.

SHEILA, BABY, THERE IS NEVER

A REASON WHY A MAN SHOULD BE

BEATING ON A WOMAN.

[ SIGHS ]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

OH...

OKAY, WELL, BABY, FIRST,

WE'VE GOT TO SEE A DOCTOR.

AND THEN YOU NEED TO LEAVE

AND GET A RESTRAINING ORDER.

NO, THIS IS ONLY THE THIRD

TIME HE'S HIT ME.

ONLY? BABY--

AND, LIKE I SAID, I SHOULDN'T

HAVE BEEN BOTHERING HIM.

THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

NOW, THERE IS NO REASON FOR HIM

TO BE HITTING YOU.

SISTER CLARETHA, I KNOW HE

LOVES ME.

YEAH, AND IF YOU'RE NOT

CAREFUL, HE'S GONNA LOVE YOU TO

DEATH -- LITERALLY.

SHEILA, SOMETIMES WE LOVE A

PERSON, BUT THEY JUST DON'T KNOW

HOW TO LOVE US BACK.

LISTEN, BABY.

NO MATTER WHAT, YOU GOT TO LOVE

YOURSELF.

RIGHT, HONEY.

LET'S GO, SHEILA.

DID YOU HEAR ME?

UH, BABY, I THINK I'M GONNA

VISIT WITH SISTER ELLA AND

SISTER CLARETHA FOR A WHILE.

I THINK YOU'RE GONNA COME

HOME.

NO, DID YOU HEAR HER?

SHE SAID SHE'S NOT READY TO

LEAVE.

AND JUDGING FROM THE BLACK

EYE YOU GAVE HER, SHE MAY NOT

NEVER GO HOME.

YOU TOLD THESE LADIES I HIT

YOU?

NO, NO, NO.

THAT WOULD BE THE FAT LIP THAT

TOLD US THAT YOU HIT HER.

DID SHE TELL YOU HOW SHE

DISRESPECTS ME?

OH, OH, OH, I SEE.

BECAUSE YOU FEELING

DISRESPECTED, YOU THINK THAT

GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO BEAT HER?

ELLA [LAUGHS] HE THINK HE'S

SUPPOSED TO HIT HER.

IS THAT RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU THINK

YOU ARE, ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS,

BUT THIS AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO

WITH YOU.

BECAUSE SHE CALLED ME.

THAT PUT ME ALL UP IN YOUR

BUSINESS.

AND RIGHT NOW, SIR, I'M ASKING

YOU TO LEAVE.

I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE WITHOUT

SHEILA.

YOU WANT TO BET?

NOW, WE CAN DO THIS THE EASY WAY

OR THE HARD WAY, AND I'M HOPING

YOU CHOOSE THE HARD WAY 'CAUSE

I WOULD LOVE TO GIVE YOU A BEAT

DOWN.

[ LAUGHS ]

I SEE YOU GOT JOKES.

YEAH, YOU MUST DON'T KNOW WHO

YOU MESSING WITH, DO YOU?

OH, YES, I DO.

I'M DEALING WITH AN INSECURE BOY

WHO LIKES TO HIT WOMEN.

UH, SISTER CLARETHA, PLEASE.

I-I SHOULD GO.

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY GETTING

HURT.

NO, NO, NO, WAIT, BABY.

WE GOT THIS.

WE GOT THIS, AND YOU'RE NOT

GOING NOWHERE WITH HIM.

AND HE AIN'T HURTING NOBODY.

HE'S JUST A PUNK.

STOP BEING STUPID!

LOOK, I'M A MAN.

I COULD HURT ALL OF YOU, IF I

WANTED TO.

RIGHT.

LEROY, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO

DO THAT TO THEM OR ME?

BABY --

UH.

BABY --

UH.

[ SIGHS ]

BABY, LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO HURT

YOU.

BUT YOU MAKE ME DO IT.

YOU NEED TO RESPECT ME.

BUT I DO RESPECT YOU.

I'M JUST TIRED OF BEING SCARED.

SCARED OF WHAT?

THE ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT WE'RE

IN?

THAT NICE STATION WAGON YOU

DRIVING?

OR IS IT YOU SCARED OF THAT

ONE-KARAT DIAMOND RING ON YOUR

FINGER?

[ SCOFFS ]

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT?

A STATION WAGON?

A ONE-KARAT DIAMOND RING?

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

AND YOU GOT THE FAT LIP?

LEROY, YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S

NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT.

LOOK, SHEILA, I AM TIRED OF

TALKING-- LET'S GO.

NO.

SEE, THERE YOU GO,

DISRESPECTING ME AGAIN.

I SAID COME ON!

AND SHE SAID NO, BRO.

CLARETHA, YOU HIT HIM HIGH,

I GOT HIM DOWN LOW.

AGH!

HELLO?

HELLO?

INTRUDER! INTRUDER!

WE'RE AT THE FIREHOUSE.

WE'RE AT THE FIREHOUSE.

CLARETHA.

HURRY! HURRY!

HE'S HURTING US!

PLEASE HELP!

WE'RE SCARED!

WE'RE SO SCARED!

COME QUICK!

COME QUICK!

YES! OOH!

OH, WAIT, WAIT, HE'S TRYING TO

GET UP, BABY.

GET HIM.

YOU WANT RESPECT?

GIVE ME THIS.

HOW THIS WORK?

BETTER HURRY UP AND GET YOU

SOME BEFORE THE POLICE GETS

HERE.

HOW'S THAT FOR RESPECT?!

ONE MORE -- ONE MORE AND

THAT'S IT.

OKAY, STOP, STOP!

GIRL, STOP!

YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM!

I'M SORRY, HELLO?

HE'S TRYING TO KILL US!

YES!

YOU COME QUICK -- COME QUICK!

[ LAUGHS ]

GIRL, YOU WERE ANGRY, WEREN'T

YOU?

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO FINALLY

STAND ON YOUR OWN?

OH, IT FEELS REAL GOOD, AND I

GOT YOU AND SISTER CLARETHA TO

THANK.

OH, GIRL, THE ONLY THANKS YOU

OWE US IS TO TAKE CARE OF

YOURSELF.

ALL RIGHT.

[ GRUNTS ]

THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.

HONEY, HONEY.

SHOULD'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SIX

MONTHS AGO.

SEE, THE GOVERNMENT DON'T

WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE

EXTRATERRESTRIALS IN THIS

COUNTRY.

LIKE ALIENS -- YOU KNOW

ABOUT THAT.

BUT, SEE, IF YOU OFFER THEM

FRUITCAKE AND THEY EAT IT, THEN

THEY AIN'T HUMAN.

WAIT, WHAT YOU SAYING?

I LIKE FRUITCAKE.

EXACTLY.

YO, WHAT'S UP?

GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.

HEY.

HEY, KIKI, YOU THINK YOU CAN

LINE ME UP RIGHT QUICK?

PATRICE IS ON HER WAY TO TAKE ME

SHOPPING.

I GOT TO LOOK RIGHT.

HEY, SO HOW DID THAT DESSERT

GO WITH GWEN LAST NIGHT?

[ SIGHS ]

SWEET.

AH, MY MAN.

ALL THE TIME.

[ CHOKES ]

KIKI.

KIKI!

YOU ALREADY GOT TWO STRIKES,

GIRL.

[ GASPS ]

YOU KNOW, I DON'T SEE HOW YOU

CAN LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE

MIRROR.

HEY, MAN, I LOOK AT MYSELF

LIKE THIS.

THERE YOU ARE.

HEY, AND THERE YOU ARE...

GWEN.

WHAT YOU DOING HERE?

I JUST STOPPED BY TO GIVE YOU

YOUR WALLET.

YOU LEFT IT AT MY PLACE THIS

MORNING.

THANK YOU, BABY.

YOU BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.

WE'RE ABOUT TO GET REAL BUSY

REAL QUICK.

UH-UH, UH-UH.

WE AIN'T THAT BUSY, DELANTE.

NO.

MATTER OF FACT, I HAVE AN

OPENING RIGHT HERE.

REALLY?

MM-HMM.

HAVE A SEAT AND LET ME HOOK YOUR

GIRL'S NAILS UP REAL QUICK.

SHE DON'T HAVE NO OPENING.

YES, I DO.

AND MATTER OF FACT, IT'S ON THE

HOUSE.

OOH, I CAN'T TURN THAT DOWN.

Y-Y-Y-YEAH, YOU CAN.

PLEASE.

NO, I CAN'T, HON.

I NEED A FILLING IN.

MM-HMM.

COME ON, GUYS.

HELP ME OUT, MAN.

PATRICE GONNA BE HERE ANY

MINUTE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR

LETTING HER FEED YOU

MOROCCAN-STYLE.

YOU BIT HER FILL-IN OFF.

SAY SOMETHING.

HELP ME OUT, MAN.

HELP?

UM, BABY, YOU GONNA HAVE THE

BIGGEST FUNGUS ON YOUR FINGERS.

SHE DON'T STERILIZE NONE OF HER

TOOLS.

UH-UH-UH-UH, DON'T EVEN

LISTEN TO THIS ONE, ALL RIGHT?

YOU STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE,

SWEETIE.

HE'S JUST JOKING.

WELL, THEN, I WAS READING

SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY SAID THAT

YOU SHOULDN'T GET YOUR NAILS

DONE BEFORE NOON.

IT'S SOMETHING ABOUT CUTICLES

AND HANGNAILS.

YOU DON'T WANT NONE OF THAT.

CALVIN, WHAT ARE YOU

TALKING -- YOU DON'T EVEN READ!

SHE'S RIGHT.

WELL, DELANTE, BUDDY, WE

TRIED.

SORRY, MAN.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

MAYDAY, MAYDAY!

PIGEON AT 2:00, DELANTE.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

LOOK NATURAL.

WELL, HELLO.

YOU MUST BE PATRICE.

WE'VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT YOU ALL

WEEKLONG, GIRL.

YOU LOOK SO CUTE.

DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT FROM THE

SAME PLACE YOU'RE GONNA TAKE

DELANTE SHOPPING LATER?

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DID.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

EXCUSE ME...

MY DELANTE?

YOUR DELANTE?

YOU MUST MEAN MY DELANTE.

OH, MY, DELANTE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU LADIES HAVEN'T MET YET.

OH, WELL, PLEASE LET US

INTRODUCE YOU.

GWEN, THIS IS PATRICE, DELANTE'S

DATE.

AND, PATRICE, THIS IS GWEN,

DELANTE'S DATE.

WHERE IS DELANTE?

OH, HE ON INTERSTATE 285 IN

BANKHEAD BY NOW.

I'LL GET HIM.

GET HIM.

HAH!

YOU TWO ARE HATERS.

GET HIM, GIRLS.

WHEW!

I'D LOVE TO BE IN BETWEEN THAT

CATFIGHT.

HEY, SO, FLOYD, I HEAR YOU

GOT AN OPENING FOR A NEW BARBER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

GOOD LOOKING OUT.

YOU KNOW ONE?

SEE?

THEY TOOK YOUR TOES, DIDN'T

THEY?

MAN, I AIN'T SEEN NOBODY BEAT

THAT BAD SINCE MY DADDY TOLD MY

MAMA, "I LOVE YOU, GLADYS."

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

MY MAMA NAMED CHERYL.

WELL, I SURE HOPE THAT YOU'VE

LEARNED YOUR LESSON, DELANTE.

YEAH, I-I-I DID.

ALWAYS SPACE MY DATES BY AT

LEAST TWO MEALS.

AAH!

[ BEEPING, FLATLINING ]

OH!

I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE ELSE

WITH YOU BLACK PEOPLE.