Original subtitles

YOU HEAR THAT?

HE--

SHH, DON'T SAY NOTHING.

DON'T SAY NOTHING.

YOU'LL MESS IT UP.

I LOVE THE SOUND OF NO SOUND.

CURTIS!

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHOO!

I AM SO GLAD JANINE TOOK THEM

KIDS TO BE WITH HER PARENTS FOR

A FEW DAYS.

IT MAKES ME WANT TO GIVE YOU

A BIG KISS.

MM, MM, MM.

WELL, HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS, BIG

DADDY.

I HANDLE MY BUSINESS.

Both: MWAH!

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

YOU THINK THEM PARENTS WILL

ADOPT THEM WHILE THEY OUT THERE?

CURTIS!

WHAT?

NOW, DON'T DO THAT.

NOW, JANINE IS EXCITED TO SEE

HER PARENTS.

AFTER ALL, THIS IS THE FIRST

TIME SHE HAS SEEN THEM SINCE SHE

GOT OUT OF THE REHAB.

WHATEVER.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

I'LL GET THAT.

YELLO.

THIS IS CURTIS PAYNE.

WHAT?

OH, OH, OH, OH!

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YES.

NO, I'M INTERESTED.

I'M VERY INTERESTED.

I JUST -- I NEED TO DISCUSS IT

WITH MY FAMILY, THOUGH.

OKAY.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- I'LL

DISCUSS IT.

WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE MEETING, AND

THEN I'LL CALL YOU BACK ASPCA.

OKAY.

A-A-ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

O-OKAY, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

[ MUMBLES ]

OOH.

YES!

OKAY, BABY, WHO WAS THAT?

YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHO

THAT WAS.

WHY?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THAT'S GONNA CHANGE OUR LIFE

FOREVER -- THAT CALL RIGHT

THERE.

WHO WAS IT, BABY?

THAT WAS MY BOSS.

OKAY.

MY BOSS WANT TO KNOW HOW

WOULD I LIKE TO BE THE FIRE

CHIEF?

UGH!

AAH!

UH?!

BABE, YOU ARE ALREADY THE FIRE

CHIEF!

NO, BABY.

YOU DON'T EVEN GET IT.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT A REGULAR

FIRE CHIEF.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FIRE CHIEF

OF THE WHOLE CITY!

CURTIS!

CURTIS!

OH, BABE, THAT IS -- WHAT?!

* WONDERFUL...

YOU BET YOUR BUTT IT IS.

AND THAT'S A BIG BET.

HELLO!

[ LAUGHS ]

CURTIS, DON'T DO THAT, BABY.

THIS IS JUST WHAT YOU WANTED.

YES.

TO BE THE HEAD OF ALL THE

FIRE STATIONS.

OF ALL THE STATIONS.

YES! YES!

EVERY STATION IN THE CITY,

I'M THE MAN.

CURTIS, CONGRATULATIONS,

BABY.

THERE'S JUST ONE MINOR

DETAIL.

WHAT? WHAT?

NOTHING BIG.

IT AIN'T NOTHING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I PROBABLY NEED TO MENTION IT,

YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU

SHOULD KNOW.

OKAY, BABY, WHAT?

[ Mumbling] YEAH, IT'S IN --

IT'S IN LOS ANGELES.

WAIT, WAIT.

IT'S WHAT?

IT'S OVER ACROSS THE STREET,

OVER A LITTLE.

LOS ANGELES.

IT'S OVER ACROSS THE STREET

IN THE WHAT, BABY?

SAY IT RIGHT HERE.

[ MUMBLES ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, CURTIS, GET OUT OF HERE.

GET OUT OF HERE.

CALIFORNIA?!

THE SUNSHINE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HEAD OF THE FIRE STATIONS IN

CALIFORNIA?

THE WHOLE CITY OF

LOS ANGELES, BABY.

CURTIS, YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT.

THERE'S A LOT OF NAKED WOMENS

RUNNING AROUND.

I MEAN...A LOT OF CHURCHES.

THEY HAVE SO MANY CHURCHES

THERE, IT'S LIKE...

IT'S LIKE WHAT?

I'LL -- I'LL GO WITH YOU.

WHERE?

TO THE...CHURCH.

LOS ANGELES!

HEY!

HEY, HONEY.

MWAH.

MMM.

OK, LISA, I WANT YOU TO MEET THE

WONDERFUL MAN THAT I'VE BEEN

TAKING ABOUT.

C.J., LISA.

LISA, C.J.

HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

I HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.

LIKEWISE.

WELL, HAVE A SEAT.

OKAY.

SIT DOWN.

SO, HOW LONG ARE YOU

VISITING?

JUST FOR THE WEEKEND.

YEAH, I WAS TELLING HIM HOW,

YOU KNOW, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR

YEARS, KNOWN EACH OTHER SINCE

THE FOURTH GRADE.

SO, C.J., YOU TREATING TANYA

RIGHT?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT

THAT.

I'M TREATING HER LIKE THE

PRINCESS THAT SHE IS.

THIS IS MY QUEEN!

AND HE'S MY KING.

WELL, IF YOU DON'T, I'LL BEAT

YOU LIKE YOU STOLE SOMETHING.

SHOULD I BE SCARED?

[ Laughing ] OH, HONEY, DON'T

WORRY.

HER BARK IS BIGGER THAN HER

BITE.

SHE GRILLS ALL MY NEW

BOYFRIENDS.

YEAH, JUST LIKE HER LAST ONE,

CHARLES.

THAT MAN HAD SO MANY KIDS, HE

COULD HAVE STARTED HIS OWN

MARCHING BAND.

SO, C.J., HOW MANY CHILDREN DO

YOU HAVE?

TWO.

TWO WONDERFUL CHILDREN, YEAH.

BY THE SAME MOTHER?

LISA, STOP IT.

JUST ASKING.

WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, YES.

YES, BY THE SAME MOTHER, WHOM I

HAPPENED TO BE MARRIED TO ONCE.

OH!

DIVORCED.

SO ANY BABY-MAMA DRAMA?

WELL, UH...

[ LAUGHS ] I KNEW IT.

I KNEW YOU WERE TOO GOOD TO BE

TRUE.

OKAY, LISA, THAT'S ENOUGH,

REALLY, ENOUGH.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

I JUST HAVE ONE LAST QUESTION.

NO.

NO, IT'S OKAY, TANYA.

LISA -- SHE CAN ASK ME ANYTHING.

I'M COOL WITH IT.

GO AHEAD, LISA.

ASK ME ANYTHING.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

UM, ARE YOU ON THE DOWN-LOW?

LISA!

HEY, HEY, HEY, YOU GOT TO ASK

NOWADAYS, OKAY?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I AIN'T ON NO DOWN-LOW,

SWEET'N LOW, NO KIND OF --

DON'T ASK ME NO DAMN QUESTION

LIKE THAT.

OKAY, WELL, IF THAT'S THE

CASE, HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE YOU

DATED IN THE LAST YEAR?

OKAY, LISA, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SAID ONE MORE QUESTION.

THIS IS JUST A FOLLOW-UP.

ACT LIKE YOU THE POLICE OR

SOMETHING.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

NEW YORK'S FINEST.

I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT.

WELL, I'M A FIREMAN.

AND ONE BADGE TO ANOTHER, YOU

DON'T INTIMIDATE ME.

[ SCOFFS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

MY TURN.

OKAY.

HOW MANY KIDS YOU GOT?

NONE, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I AM

INTELLIGENT AND I HAVE

FORESIGHT.

THE LAST THING THE WORLD NEEDS

IS ANOTHER BROKEN HOME.

HINT, HINT.

NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

THE LAST THING THE WORLD NEEDS

IS ANOTHER MAD BLACK WOMAN WITH

AN ATTITUDE.

HINT, HINT, HINT!

WELL, I GUESS IT'S A GOOD

THING I'M NOT A MAD BLACK WOMAN

WITH AN ATTITUDE.

HOW MANY DATES YOU BEEN ON IN

THE LAST TWO YEARS?

WELL, NONE, BUT THAT IS

BECAUSE I AM A VERY BUSY PERSON.

WHAT AM I DOING EXPLAINING

MYSELF TO YOU?

WHO ARE YOU TO ASK ME ABOUT

MY RELATIONSHIPS?

WHO ARE YOU TO COME IN HERE

TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY ON THE

DOWN-LOW?

YOU AIN'T NOBODY.

NOBODY KNOW YOU.

DING, DING, DING!

DING, DING, DING!

DING, DING!

I SAID DING.

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

BACK TO YOUR CORNERS, OKAY,

GUYS, YOU KNOW?

COME ON.

THE ONLY FIGHTING I WANT TO SEE

IS AT, YOU KNOW, SHOE LOFT,

YOU KNOW?

I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR AN

OPEN-TOED SLING-BACK, YOU

KNOW, PAIR OF SHOES, HALF OFF.

COME ON, ALL RIGHT?

COME ON, LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

GRAB YOUR BAG.

COME ON, HONEY.

I WAS ABOUT TO GET GULLY,

TAKE IT TO THE STREETS ON YOU.

OH, WHATEVER.

YOU KNOW, A GUY SAID THAT TO ME

LAST WEEK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I DID?

I HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH MY

BILLY CLUB.

THAT DON'T MEAN NOTHING TO

I GOT A PLATE IN MY HEAD.

OH, STOP IT.

BABY, BABY, DO YOU REALIZE

LOS ANGELES HAS THE LARGEST

FIRE DEPARTMENTS IN THE WHOLE

COUNTRY?

[ Sarcastically ] THAT'S

GREAT, HONEY.

WHOO!

I'M SO EXCITED!

I'M SO EXCITED!

[ LAUGHS ]

BABY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF

HONOR THIS IS?

CURTIS.

HUH?

I MEAN, YOU HAVE TO BE

RECOMMENDED BY THE MAYOR.

THE MAYOR, ELLA.

AND THEN STILL YOU GOT TO BE

VOTED IN BY THE CITY COUNCILOR

AND THREE OTHER WHITE PEOPLE I

DON'T EVEN KNOW.

OKAY, CURTIS, BABY, LISTEN.

UM...

I KNOW YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR

LITTLE JOB OPPORTUNITY, OKAY?

BUT I HAVE TO BE HONEST, CURTIS.

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE ATLANTA.

I LIKE OUR HOME.

I LIKE THIS.

BUT -- BUT, ELLA...

ELLA, YOU LO...

ELLA, COME ON.

COME ON, THIS?

COME ON, BABY.

ATLANTA, LOS ANGELES, WHAT'S THE

DIFFERENCE, HUH?

THEY BOTH GOT AN "L" AND AN "A"

IN THEIR NAME.

THEY BOTH GOT BAD TRAFFIC.

CURTIS, LISTEN, BABY.

WE HAVEN'T REALLY EVEN DISCUSSED

THIS, OKAY?

WHAT ABOUT C.J. AND THE KIDS?

THEY CAN'T GO.

CURTIS.

OKAY, WHAT IF WE LET C.J.

RENT THE HOUSE?

I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY

FRIENDS AND THE CHURCH AND THE

HELP CENTER.

WHAT DOES THE HELP CENTER --

THE HELP CENTER?!

I JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS.

ELLA, ELLA, ELLA, WE CAN BE

IN SUNNY L.A., BABY, WALKING ON

THE BEACH.

OR, CURTIS, WE CAN JUST STAY

RIGHT HERE IN HOT-LANTA.

I'LL WALK YOU OUTSIDE...

AND CHOKE YOU IN THE STREETS.

BABY...

I DON'T WANT TO GO.

HONEY, THAT DINNER WAS

DELICIOUS.

OH, THANK YOU, BABY.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LIKE THE

PASTA.

PERSONALLY, I THOUGHT THE

PASTA WAS OVERCOOKED, AND THE

SAUCE TASTED LIKE IT CAME OUT OF

A CAN.

WELL, THAT'S FUNNY, LISA,

BECAUSE YOU USUALLY LIKE TAKEOUT

FROM DEMARCO'S.

TAKEOUT?

YOU MEAN C.J. DIDN'T COOK THIS?

NO.

C.J. DOESN'T COOK.

OH, WELL, YOU PROBABLY LEFT

IT SITTING OUT TOO LONG.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT'S IT. I MEAN, THAT'S IT.

WE BOTH KNOW THAT I CAN'T DO

NOTHING RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO

YOU.

I THINK YOU JEALOUS OF THIS

RELATIONSHIP.

[ LAUGHS ]

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

I AM NOT JEALOUS, OKAY?

I JUST THINK THAT SHE COULD DO

BETTER.

TANYA COULD FIND SOMEONE WHO

DOESN'T HAVE KIDS AND AN EX-WIFE

WHO LIVE WITH HIM IN HIS UNCLE'S

HOUSE.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

C.J. IS PERFECT FOR ME.

AND IF YOU COULD FIND A MAN AND

KEEP A MAN, MAYBE YOU'D

UNDERSTAND THAT, RIGHT, HONEY?

YES, BABY.

OKAY, I'M SORRY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I GUESS I HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH

TO DRINK.

OOH, AND YOU HAD A LITTLE TOO

MUCH TO EAT.

IT'S ALL BETWEEN YOUR TEETH.

EXCUSE ME.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OH, NO, NO, HERE, HERE.

LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT.

OH, YOU WANT TO HELP NOW?

YEAH, C.J., THAT REALLY WAS

JUST THE WINE TALKING.

I ACTUALLY THINK IN ALL HONESTY

THAT A MAN TAKING CARE OF HIS

KIDS IS, YOU KNOW, RESPECTABLE.

AND KIND OF, YOU KNOW, SEXY.

A COMPLIMENT.

OH, FROM YOU?

OKAY.

YEAH, I'M NOT ALWAYS MEAN.

OH, WAIT, HOLD ON.

YOU HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING ON

YOUR LIPS.

I DO?

MM-HMM.

THERE'S NOTHING ON MY LIPS.

YES, THERE IS.

HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I WAS JUST TELLING C.J. HOW

MUCH I ADMIRE HIM FOR TAKING

CARE OF HIS KIDS.

OH, SEE, LISA, THAT'S NICE.

THAT IS REALLY VERY NICE.

THANK YOU.

HONEY, ISN'T THAT NICE?

C.J., COME ON.

YOU'RE BEING RUDE.

LISA'S TRYING TO BE NICE.

YEAH, C.J., LIGHTEN UP.

OH, OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK WE COULD ALL USE SOME

LAUGHS, SO WHY DON'T WE HEAD

DOWN TO THE COMEDY SHACK?

THAT WOULD BE FUN.

OH, COME ON.

YOU GUYS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME,

BOTH OF YOU.

I REALLY WISH YOU COULD JUST

KISS AND MAKE UP.

[ LAUGHS WEAKLY ]

THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, I NEED TO

TALK TO YOU.

GOT A LITTLE BAD NEWS FOR YOU,

BUT SOMETIMES, ALL GOOD THINGS

COME TO AN END.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

HOLD ON, POP.

DON'T TELL ME YOU ABOUT TO

KICK ME OUT.

I JUST MOVED BACK IN.

IF ANYTHING -- IF ANYTHING, C.J.

SHOULD BE THE ONE TO LEAVE.

ME?

YOU THE ONE THAT JUST GOT A JOB.

OKAY, HOLD ON.

BOTH OF YOU, BE QUIET.

JUST STOP IT.

BOTH OF YOU, SIT DOWN.

NOW, THIS IS NOT ABOUT EITHER OF

YOU.

THIS IS ABOUT ME BEING THE FIRE

CHIEF IN LOS ANGELES.

LOS ANGELES?

YES.

WHAT ABOUT US?

WHAT ABOUT MOM?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT ABOUT

YOUR MOTHER?

YOUR MOTHER DO WHAT I SAY DO.

YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

YEAH, I'M SURE ABOUT THAT.

WHAT YOU THINK?

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT?

COME ON, YOU DON'T KNOW --

I'M THE KING OF THIS CASTLE.

IF I SAY, "CROSS THE STREET,"

SHE GONNA CROSS THE STREET AND

RUN OVER AND CATCH THE CHICKEN

AND BRING THE CHICKEN BACK AND

FRY IT FOR ME.

HEY, BABY.

HOW ARE YOU?

OOH, GOD.

AND I LOVE HER LIKE THAT.

UH, BABY, I WAS JUST TELLING

THEM HOW WE THINKING ABOUT GOING

TO CALIFORNIA.

NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID.

HUH?

YOU SAID YOU WAS TAKING THE

JOB IN CALIFORNIA.

OKAY, WILL YOU SHUT UP?

WHY YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT?

I KNOW WHAT I SAID.

I SAID, WE THINKING ABOUT MOVING

TO CALIFORNIA.

WELL, BABY, I'VE DECIDED.

YOU -- YOU GOING?

YEAH, WE'RE GOING.

YES!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

MOM, MOM, MOM.

WHAT YOU DOING?

WHAT YOU DOING?

WHO'S GONNA DO MY LAUNDRY?

CURTIS --

THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM.

DO YOUR OWN LAUNDRY.

MAMA, WHO GONNA GIVE ME

MONEY?

CURTIS, BABY, YOU GOT A JOB.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME AND THE

KIDS?

WHERE ARE WE GONNA STAY?

YOU CAN STAY AT THE VACANT

LOT WHERE YOUR HOUSE BURNED

DOWN.

YOU'RE STILL PAYING ON IT.

C.J., NO.

BABY, WE'VE ALREADY DISCUSSED

THAT ABOUT YOU, AND, BABY, WE

JUST SAID THAT YOU GUYS COULD

JUST MOVE IN HERE AND JUST PAY

RENT.

OH, OH, I GOT FIRST DIBS ON

THE MASTER SUITE.

NO, NO, NO, THAT'S MINE.

THAT'S MINE AS SOON AS I GET THE

MOTHBALL SMELL OUT.

WELL, WHO'S GONNA TAKE OVER

AS FIRE CHIEF AT THE FIREHOUSE?

PLEASE.

YOU A VOLUNTEER.

IT'S ON YOU, NEPHEW.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE OVER -- WELL,

UNTIL THE CITY, YOU KNOW, HIRES

SOMEBODY ELSE TO PERMANENTLY

TAKE THE JOB.

YEAH, I GOT THAT.

WAIT, HE'S BAD LUCK.

HE'LL PROBABLY BURN DOWN THE

FIREHOUSE.

[ LAUGHS ]

THAT'S FUNNY.

Y'ALL SURE Y'ALL DON'T WANT

TO TAKE COUSIN CALVIN WITH Y'ALL

TO CALIFORNIA?

Both: YES.

AUNT ELLA, YOU DON'T WANT TO

GO TO CALIFORNIA.

THEY GOT MUD SLIDES AND

EARTHQUAKES AND FIRES.

WELL, BABY, THEY ALSO GOT

DENZEL AND BLAIR UNDERWOOD.

I'M GOOD.

AND THEY GOT HALLE BERRY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY.

HEY.

LISA TOLD ME WHAT SHE DID.

SHE DID?

MM-HMM.

SHE CAME CLEAN.

SHE -- WOW.

I MEAN, I'M GLAD 'CAUSE THAT

WAS -- I REALLY, REALLY FELT

UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT THE WHOLE

THING.

YEAH, SO WAS SHE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GONNA GO TO THE BATHROOM.

AND WHY DON'T YOU TWO JUST TAKE

A MOMENT TO TALK, OKAY?

AND, LISA, APOLOGIZE TO HIM.

OKAY.

SO, UH...APOLOGIZE.

WELL, I TOLD TANYA I WAS

SORRY ABOUT THE PASTA...

BUT I REALLY LIKED THE CHICKEN

FETTUCCINE.

HUH?

GET OFF OF ME!

COME ON, C.J.

TANYA MIGHT HEAR US.

YEAH.

TANYA ALREADY HEARD YOU.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE

BECAUSE YOUR MAN WAS TRYING TO

COME ON TO ME.

WHAT?

NO, I WASN'T TRYING TO COME ON

TO HER.

LISA, I SAW YOU TRYING TO

KISS HIM.

GIRL, WE WERE JUST -- WE WERE

JUST PLAYING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

PLAYING?

C.J. IS MY MAN, OKAY?

WHY DON'T YOU GO GET YOUR OWN

MAN?

OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.

I DIDN'T GET UPSET WHEN YOU

KISSED MY MAN.

WHAT MAN?

BILLY.

BILLY FROM THE FOURTH GRADE?

SHE CRAZY.

LISA, WE WERE KIDS!

SO?

HE WAS STILL MY MAN.

LOOK, TANYA, EVER SINCE

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, YOU HAVE

ALWAYS HAD THE CUTE GUYS.

BUT, LISA, WHAT DOES THAT

HAVE TO DO WITH NOW?

I MEAN...C.J. WAS RIGHT ABOUT

YOU ALL ALONG.

I TOLD YOU.

SHE CRAZY.

COME ON, TANYA, LOOK, ALL

RIGHT?

I'M YOUR GIRL.

CAN'T YOU FORGIVE ME?

YEAH.

I CAN FORGIVE YOU.

BUT I CAN ALSO FORGET YOU.

OH, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

COME ON.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET HIM COME

BETWEEN US.

OH, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO

WITH HIM.

IT IS ALL ABOUT YOU.

HOLLA.

[ CHUCKLES SOFTLY ]

BABY, PSH.

THAT WAS -- [ SMOOCHES ]

THAT WAS CLASS.

I'M SORRY.

IT WAS CLASS.

I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

BAM.

BAM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M HAVING A YARD SALE.

I'M GETTING RID OF ALL THIS

JUNK, AND THEN I'M GONNA TURN

THIS INTO A BACHELOR PAD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

JUNK?

BUT JANINE AND THE KIDS WILL

STILL BE HERE, SO THIS WILL NOT

BE A BACHELOR'S PAD.

YES, IT WILL.

THEY'LL BE STAYING IN THE

GARAGE.

BUT YOU -- YOU GOT $3.00 ON

MY LAMP.

THIS IS A GOOD LAMP.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE LAMP.

OH, NO, I'M NOT SELLING IT

FOR $3.00.

I'M GIVING SOMEONE $3.00 TO TAKE

IT.

WHAT?

HEY, WHAT'S -- WHAT'S GOING

ON?

OH.

I'M HAVING A YARD SALE.

BAM.

OKAY, CALVIN, CALM DOWN,

BABY.

THERE IS NO NEED FOR A YARD

SALE.

WE WILL NOT BE LEAVING.

WHY NOT?

WE LOOKED AT SOME OF THE

PRICES IN L.A. FOR THEM HOUSES.

MAN, IT'S RIDICULOUS.

WE'D DO BETTER JUST COMMUTING

FROM HERE.

THE TRUTH IS...

HE DID NOT GET THE JOB.

[ Imitating Curtis ] OKAY?!

YOU HEARD ME?

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ Normal voice ] LISTEN, THEY

GAVE IT TO CLETUS PAYNE.

YOU REMEMBER HIM, RIGHT?

NO, I DON'T REMEMBER HIM.

WHO IS HE, ELLA?

OH, CURTIS!

TA-DA!

HEY, BABY, WHAT'S ALL THIS?

WELL, WE COULDN'T GO TO L.A.,

SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST BRING A

LITTLE L.A. TO YOU.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

MM-HMM.

[ CHUCKLES ]

Both: MMM.

MWAH.

MWAH.

BABY, ARE WE IN L.A. OR IN

HAWAII?

CAN YOU JUST PLAY ALONG,

PLEASE?

OKAY, I'LL PLAY ALONG.

THESE?

WE AIN'T GONNA SIT ON THIS

EITHER.

I'M GONNA SIT ON IT.

DON'T SIT ON THAT.

WHY DON'T YOU WANT ME TO SIT

DOWN ON IT?

CURTIS, JUST DON'T SIT DOWN

ON THAT.

I DON'T KNOW HOW STURDY THAT IS,

BABY.

CURTIS!

DON'T YOU SIT --

AAH!

OKAY.

THIS IS NICE.

WELL, CURTIS...

WHAT?

IF YOU ARE NICE TO ME, I'LL,

UM, MAKE YOUR EARTH QUAKE FOR

YOU LATER ON.

BA-DO, BA-DO, BA-BA-DO.

OH.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, IT'S WORKING!

IT'S WORKING.

AH, SEE THAT?

CURTIS, I'M THROUGH.

OOH. OOH.

CURTIS!

DON'T DO THAT.

OOH.

CURTIS, I SAID --

CURTIS, DON'T DO IT.

YOU TURN IT OVER, I'M GONNA TURN

YOU OVER.

IT'S A -- AHH!

DON'T DO IT!

IT'S A MUD SLIDE.

IT'S A MUD SLIDE!

CURTIS, NOW, DON'T YOU DARE.

DON'T YOU DARE.