Original subtitles

YEAH, I'M NOT AFRAID TO ASK

OLDER GIRLS FOR

THEY PHONE NUMBERS,

UNLIKE SOMEBODY ELSE I KNOW.

I JUST WALK UP TO 'EM, YOU KNOW,

I JUST BE LIKE, "YO, BABY.

YO, YO, YO, BABY."

"BABY, YOU GONNA GIVE ME YOUR

DIGITS, OR WHAT?" YOU KNOW?

THAT'S JUST HOW I DO.

YEAH.

YEAH, THEY WALK AWAY.

LOOK, BUT, SEE, THEY WALK AWAY

SMILING. YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME GO ASK HIM.

HEY, DAD, CAN KEVIN SPEND

THE NIGHT?

YEAH.

NO.

I BELIEVE HE WAS TALKING

TO ME.

HE COULDN'T HAVE BEEN TALKING

TO YOU, YOU A VISITOR.

I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE

MORTGAGE, ON THE LIGHT BILL, ON

THE GAS.

I DON'T SEE YOUR NAME ANYWHERE

ON THESE BILLS.

NOW, YOU A LONG-TERM VISITOR,

BUT A VISITOR, NONETHELESS.

CURTIS, STOP IT.

BABY, I'M SERIOUS.

I KEEP TELLING HIM THE HOUSE IS

OVER CAPACITY.

NOW THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A

FRIEND COME OVER HERE, YOU STOLE

MY MOTORCYCLE.

AND I SAID NO.

MALIK, IT'S FINE.

KEVIN CAN SPEND THE NIGHT.

THANK YOU, AUNTIE ELLA.

DOES MY WORD MEAN ANYTHING,

ELLA?

NO, NOT WHEN IT DOES NOT

AGREE WITH ME.

PUT THESE TOWELS OVER THERE.

GOOD MORNING, FAM.

DON'T YOU MEAN GOOD

AFTERNOON?

I WAS TIRED, POPS.

I HAD A HOT DATE WITH MIRANDA

LAST NIGHT THAT WENT INTO

OVERTIME.

IF YOUR OVERTIME DOESN'T

INCLUDE A CHECK AND BENEFITS,

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

WELL, IT DIDN'T COME WITH A

CHECK, BUT IT DEFINITELY CAME

WITH BENEFITS.

[ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, CALVIN?

NOW, I'M SERIOUS.

YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING, BROTHER,

BECAUSE I'M NOT HERE TO

SUPPORT A GROWN MAN, OKAY?

SO YOU ARE GONNA HAVE

TO GET A JOB.

CALVIN, YOUR FATHER IS RIGHT.

SINCE YOU DID NOT GRADUATE,

PLAY TIME IS OVER.

HOLD ON. IT'S BAD ENOUGH I

HAVE TO MOVE BACK HOME.

NOW I GOT TO GET A JOB, TOO?

AND A REAL ONE.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT ONE OF

THOSE QUICK GET RICH HUSTLES.

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S TIME TO MAN UP, BROTHER.

BE A MAN.

YOU RIGHT. YOU RIGHT, C.J.

I'M GONNA LOOK FOR A JOB TODAY,

RIGHT AFTER I GET MY NAP.

CURTIS.

HMM?

OKAY, BABY, WHAT YOU DOING?

DON'T WORRY. I GOT THIS.

CURTIS, WAIT NOW.

HE'S TRYING TO GET SOME REST.

YOU GONNA WAKE HIM UP.

HE'S TRYING TO REST.

THANK YOU, POP.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

AND AFTER I GIVE HIM THIS

CONCUSSION, HE GONNA REST

REAL GOOD.

WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

DON'T RUN.

WHAT YOU RUNNING FOR?

COME ON.

POP.

CURTIS!

MAN, COME ON, KEVIN.

YOU DON'T WANT NONE OF THIS.

I KEEP TELLING YOU, DON'T

BRING THAT STAR STUFF IN HERE.

I'LL SMACK IT ALL THE WAY TO

KARETHA HOUSE.

MAN, YOUR DEFENSE SO WEAK,

THE ONLY "D" YOU GET IS ON YOUR

REPORT CARD, MAN.

SEE, KEEP TALKING OUT

OF THAT MOUTH.

SHOW ME SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU

SOMETHING.

OH! LOOK AT THAT.

I LET YOU DO THAT.

YOU LET ME JUST BREAK

YOUR ANKLES?

YOU WANT TO SEE THAT AGAIN

IN SLOW...MOTION?

THAT'S WHY I WON'T EVEN PLAY

WITH YOU ANYMORE.

MALIK?

YEAH.

THERE IS NO MAID AROUND HERE.

YOU AND KEVIN LEFT TWO PLATES ON

THE TABLE.

GO MOVE THEM.

YES, MA'AM.

ACTUALLY, THERE'S

THREE PLATES.

UNCLE CURTIS, I GOTTA

CLEAN YOUR PLATE, TOO?

WATCH IT, WATCH IT, WATCH IT.

UH-OH!

AH!

UH-OH!

CALVIN!

LOOK AT HIM!

WHERE YOU GOING, BOY?

GUESS WHO'S GOT NOT ONE, NOT

TWO, BUT THREE JOB INTERVIEWS

LINED UP FOR TODAY?

WAIT, WAIT.

I'M TALKING ABOUT REAL JOBS,

RIGHT?

I'M TALKING PLACES THAT

VALIDATE.

YEAH.

THANK YOU!

AW, PRAISE HIM, BABY!

CURTIS.

THANK YOU!

I WENT AHEAD AND TOOK YOU

AND MOM'S ADVICE, SENT A BUNCH

OF RÉSUMÉS OUT ONLINE, AND BOOM!

BOOM! BOOM!

BOOM, BOOM, BABY.

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BABY.

BOOM! BOOM!

THAT'S WONDERFUL!

I GOT A FEW JOB INTERVIEWS.

OH, SHOW ME.

SHOW ME, SHOW ME, SHOW ME.

CURTIS. DON'T PLAY.

NOW, YOU GOING TOO FAR.

SHOW ME, SHOW ME, SHOW ME.

HOW FAR DO YOU HAVE TO GO,

BABY?

WELL, ONE'S DOWNTOWN, AND THE

OTHER TWO ARE IN BUCKHEAD.

OH, WELL, THEN, YOU NEED TO

GO BEFORE YOU'RE LATE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR RÉSUMÉS?

THEY'RE RIGHT HERE.

YOU GOT DIRECTIONS?

YEAH.

PENCILS, PENS, AND PAPER?

BABY, BABY.

HE GOING TO A JOB INTERVIEW, NOT

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

OKAY, OKAY.

BABY, LISTEN, BEFORE YOU GET ON

THE FREEWAY, POTTY.

OH, YEAH. GOOD LOOKING OUT.

BE BREEZY.

CURTIS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, BUT

SOMEBODY HAS BEEN TRAMPLING ALL

IN MY PLANTS.

OH, BABY -- THEM KIDS.

THEM KIDS.

I'MMA GET 'EM.

I'LL GET 'EM.

GOOD.

WHEW!

DO NOT TELL ME THAT NONE OF

YOUR INTERVIEWS WENT WELL.

WELL, THE FIRST TWO WENT

OKAY, BUT THE LAST ONE, THE ONE

I REALLY WANTED, IT WAS TOUGH.

BABY, WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL, THE GUY INTERVIEWED ME

FOR OVER AN HOUR, AND, MAN,

AFTER ALL THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT HE

SAID TO ME?

I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW

WHAT HE SAID.

HE LOOKED ME IN MY EYES AND

SAID, "WHEN CAN YOU START?"

THAT MEANS YOU GOT THE JOB.

THAT MEANS YOU GOT THE JOB?

YEP, POPS, I GOT THE JOB.

HE GOT THE JOB.

BABY, HE GOT THE --

AH!

HE GOT THE...

CURTIS.

ARE YOU CRYING?

NO, I'M NOT CRYING.

YOU ARE CRYING!

OKAY, WELL, HELL YEAH, I'M

CRYING, OKAY?

SO, WHERE WILL YOU BE

WORKING?

YOU'RE LOOKING AT THE NEWEST

EMPLOYEE FOR L.F. JOHNSON AND

ASSOCIATES.

[ CRYING ]

L.F. JOHNSON AND ASSOCIATES.

[ BABBLING ]

IT'S AN INVESTMENT FIRM

DOWNTOWN.

IT'S AN INVESTMENT FIRM

DOWNTOWN.

CURTIS.

[ BABBLING ]

BABY, STOP PLAYING.

BABY, THIS MAKES ME FEEL

SO GOOD, IT'S A GOOD DAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

THAT MEANS HE CAN SAVE MONEY.

HE CAN SAVE MONEY.

I CAN SAVE MONEY.

NO MORE COLLEGE BILLS.

NO MORE OF HIS CAR INSURANCE.

NO MORE MANIS, NO MORE PEDIS.

WHOO! NO MORE FACIALS.

WAIT, NO MORE FACIALS?

MM-HMM.

WHEN DO YOU START?

TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WE HAVE GOT TO GIVE YOU

THE DOs AND DON'Ts FOR

THE FIRST DAY.

OH, YEAH. GOOD IDEA.

HAVE A SEAT.

GOOD IDEA, BABY.

OKAY, ON YOUR FIRST DAY, YOU

NEED TO BE THE FIRST ONE THERE

AND THE LAST ONE TO LEAVE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

THAT'S A GOOOD ONE, BABY.

MATTER OF FACT, YOU NEED TO GO

ON OVER THERE.

GO PARK IN THE PARKING LOT AND

JUST SLEEP OVERNIGHT.

YOU SHOULD BE THERE.

NO, NO, DON'T SMILE.

SOME PEOPLE THINK SMILING IS A

FORM OF WEAKNESS.

OH, THAT'S TRUE.

YOU GOT TO BE HARD.

HARD.

YOU GOTTA BE HARD.

HERE. LIKE THIS.

LOOK LIKE YOU IN PAIN.

I'M HARD.

HOLD YOUR HEAD UP.

I'M HERE TO WORK

AND I'M HARD.

YOU GOTTA LOOK LIKE THAT ON

YOUR FIRST DAY.

ALL DAY.

AND, LOOK, DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE

CO-WORKERS, OKAY?

'CAUSE THEY CAN GET YOU WITH

SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

OH, HOLD UP.

IT'S OKAY IF THEY FLIRT WITH ME

FIRST, RIGHT?

NO, IT'S NEVER OKAY IF YOU

WANT TO KEEP YOUR LITTLE JOB.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. HOLD UP.

MAYBE I SHOULDN'T TAKE THIS JOB,

THEN.

CURTIS!

YOU BE HARD. BE HARD.

THANK YOU.

BE HARD.

I'M GONNA BE HARD.

YOU BE HARD.

PUT YOUR MOUTH OVER YOUR TEETH.

HOW YOU GONNA WALK, BABE?

WALK HARD.

I'M WALKIN' IN...

HEY, YOU.

HOW YOU GONNA WALK, BABE?

SHOW 'EM HOW TO WALK, BABE.

I'M HERE.

YOU HERE.

YOU'RE WALKING TOO FAST.

COME UP SLOW.

THIS THE PLAN.

THE GIRLS SAID WE NEED TO

MEET THEM 30 MINUTES BEFORE THE

MOVIE STARTS, OKAY?

SO WE REALLY NEED TO LEAVE

SOON.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

ARE YOU SURE YOUR DAD WILL LET

US GO BY OURSELVES?

BECAUSE WE CANNOT LET THE GIRLS

SEE YOUR DAD DROPPING US OFF.

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT ONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, WHEN HE

COMES IN, LET'S BE NICE TO HIM.

COMPLIMENT HIM, HE LIKES THAT.

I CAN DO THAT.

HEY, WHAT'S UP, FELLAS?

HEY, MR. PAYNE.

HEY.

YOU KNOW, I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

IT'S A NICE COLOR FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, IT REALLY BRINGS OUT

YOUR EYES.

KEVIN, IT'S A UNIFORM SHIRT.

I KNOW. I JUST LIKE HOW

IT MATCHES YOUR PANTS.

LIKE I SAID, KEVIN,

IT'S A UNIFORM.

IT'S A NICE UNIFORM.

OKAY, KEVIN, CALM DOWN.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?

WHAT YOU GUYS WANT?

OH, WE DON'T WANT NOTHING.

WE JUST WANT TO GO FOR A WALK,

GET SOME FRESH AIR, YOU KNOW?

MIGHT EVEN JUST STOP BY

THE MOVIES.

SO Y'ALL WANT TO MEET SOME

GIRLS, AND YOU DON'T WANT THE

GIRLS TO SEE ME DROPPING YOU OFF

AT THE MOVIES.

COME ON, DAD.

WHY WOULD WE DO THAT TO YOU,

HUH?

COME ON, MAN!

WE GOTTA STICK TOGETHER, MAN.

I AIN'T EVEN GONNA PLAY YOU LIKE

THAT, MAN.

YEAH.

MAN, WHY WOULD I EVEN DO --

YEAH, YOU RIGHT.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO DO.

YEAH, OKAY.

HERE YOU GO.

HERE'S A COUPLE OF EXTRA

DOLLARS.

BRING ME BACK SOME CANDY.

OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE, DAD.

THIS IS $30.

YOU CAN'T GO TO THE MOVIES

WITH 30 BUCKS?

NO.

IN MY DAY, WE WENT TO THE

MOVIES WITH 50 CENTS.

OKAY, NO SOUND AND NO COLOR.

THAT'S RIGHT, AND MAKE SURE

YOU COME BACK RIGHT AFTER THE

MOVIES, TOO.

ALL RIGHT.

BUT YOU KNOW, MR. PAYNE,

I REALLY DO LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

OKAY, KEVIN, YOU'RE STARTING

TO SCARE ME.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

HEY, TANYA, I WAS JUST ABOUT TO

CALL YOU.

YEAH, JAZMINE AND JANINE WENT TO

DO THE GIRL SCOUT THING, AND THE

BOYS JUST LEFT TO GO

TO THE MOVIES.

I WAS THINKING WE COULD GET

TOGETHER.

YOU COOL WITH THAT?

I'M GONNA JUMP IN THE SHOWER.

I'LL MEET YOU RIGHT THERE --

[ TIRES SCREECHING ]

KEVIN!

MALIK! MALIK!

YOU MADE US MISS THE MOVIE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT, THOUGH.

IT DIDN'T GET GOOD REVIEWS

ANYWAY.

THIS YOUR WAY OF GETTING GIRLS?

IT'S NOT THE -- IT'S NOT THE

WAY...

GIRLS USUALLY DON'T LIKE GUYS

THAT'S IN NIGHTGOWNS.

LOOK...

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN HEAR ME

OR NOT.

PLEASE, DON'T DIE ON ME, OKAY?

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

WHO ELSE WILL I HANG OUT WITH?

WHO ELSE WILL I DUNK ON?

YOU'RE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME.

JUST PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME,

OKAY?

JUST PLEASE DON'T DIE ON ME.

OKAY?

HEY, HEY, CALVIN!

BOY, YOU SHARP.

BOY, YOU LOOKIN' MIGHTY CLEAN.

MM-HMM.

LOOKIN' SO FINE, YOU SHOULD

BE ON THE COVER OF A MAGAZINE.

WHAT'S UP, CALVIN?

YOU ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK?

NO. I'M ON PERMANENT BREAK.

I GOT FIRED.

WHAT?

I SAY WE MARCH, COME ON.

FLOYD, SHUT UP.

CALVIN, WHAT HAPPENED?

MAN!

THE GUY IN THE OFFICE KEPT

BOSSING ME AROUND, SO I GOT

HARD, AND I TOLD HIM OFF.

TELLING ME TO DO THIS

AND DO THAT.

STACK THE PAPERS HERE.

DON'T STACK THE PAPERS THERE.

FILE THE PAPERS.

"GO GET ME SOME COFFEE."

I AIN'T GETTIN' YOU NO COFFEE!

THAT'S RIGHT, SON.

I MEAN, I CAN'T STAND WHEN

PEOPLE COME ALL UP IN YOUR SPOT

TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO, HOW TO

DO IT, WHERE TO DO IT, WHEN TO

DO IT.

PLEASE!

KIKI!

HUH?

CLEAN THEM CLIPPERS.

YES, SIR.

SO DID YOU TELL YOUR BOSS?

HE WAS MY BOSS.

WHAT?

CALVIN.

STUPID.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW?

I SAY WE MARCH.

SHUT UP!

I WANT TO MARCH.

I'M GONNA HIDE OUT HERE.

IF I TELL MY DAD,

HE'LL KICK ME OUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU GOTTA DO

NOW, YOUNGSTER.

YOU GOTTA GO OUT

AND GET ANOTHER JOB.

I KNOW, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT

I WANT TO DO.

YO, YOU SHOULD GO TO

THE POST OFFICE.

MY COUSIN JUST GOT PUT ON THERE.

HE IS GETTING PAID!

I MEAN, HE KEEP GETTING MAULED

BY DOGS, TOO, BUT THAT'S WHAT

BENEFITS IS FOR, OKAY?

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD BE

A MALE ESCORT.

I DID IT FOR A COUPLE YEARS,

AND I WAS PIMPING THESE OLD

BROADS OUT THEY SOCIAL

SECURITY CHECKS.

HEY.

[ SNAPS FINGERS ]

MAYBE I COULD GET A JOB HERE

CUTTING HAIR.

CAN YOU CUT HAIR?

TO MAKE MONEY LIKE THAT, I'LL

CUT ANYTHING YOU WANT.

I'LL CUT HAIR, GRASS.

I'LL EVEN CUT THE LIGHTS ON

AND OFF.

BOY, YOU GOT TO STUDY FOR

YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS BEFORE

YOU CAN BE AS PROFESSIONAL AS

MYSELF AND EARN MONEY

JUST LIKE THAT.

I MEAN, LOOK WHAT YOU COULD HAVE

IF YOU OWNED A PLACE LIKE THIS

RIGHT HERE?

BOY, I AM PAID FOR REAL, THOUGH.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

ONCE YOU CUT THAT ONE CUSTOMER

RIGHT, HE'LL KEEP COMING BACK

AGAIN AND AGAIN.

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOUR

BUSINESS IS GROWING, 'CAUSE IT'S

A GROWTH INDUSTRY. GET IT?

HA! GROWTH INDUSTRY.

HAIR GROW-- NEVER MIND.

I'M DOWN.

WHEN DO I START?

OH, YOU CAN START RIGHT NOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

MALIK, BABY, YOU'VE BEEN OUT

HERE FOR HOURS.

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.

I REALLY MISS KEVIN, THOUGH.

WELL, BABY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT

HIM.

HE -- HE WILL PULL THROUGH.

AUNTIE ELLA, WHAT IF HE

DOESN'T?

DON'T THINK LIKE THAT.

DON'T SAY THAT.

KEVIN IS A STRONG YOUNG MAN, AND

YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG FOR HIM.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I MEAN, HE'S MY BEST FRIEND,

THOUGH.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D DO

WITHOUT HIM.

LET'S JUST KEEP PRAYING

FOR HIM.

[ DOOR OPENS ]

GREAT NEWS.

I JUST TALKED TO KEVIN'S

PARENTS, AND HIS SURGERY

WENT WELL.

HE'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

AH!

THAT'S GREAT!

CAN WE GO SEE HIM?

WELL, LET'S LET HIM REST FOR

A LITTLE WHILE, AND WE'LL GO SEE

HIM LATER, ALL RIGHT?

THANKS, DAD.

ALL RIGHT, BOY.

SEE?

THAT BOY'S GOING PLACES!

GOING RIGHT OUT TO TAKE

THE TRASH.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHOA! HEY, MR. PAYNE!

HEY, MR. PAYNE.

HEY, CURTIS PAYNE IS IN

THE HOUSE!

[ LAUGHS ]

WHOO!

WHAT YOU DOING HERE,

CURTIS PAYNE?!

WHY ARE YOU YELLING, FLOYD?!

I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE YOU,

MY BROTHER CURTIS PAYNE!

CAME TO GET A HAIRCUT.

OH, NO, NO.

WE ALL BACKED UP RIGHT NOW.

COME BACK NEXT WEEK.

I DON'T SEE ANYBODY HERE,

DELANTE.

BUT SOMETIMES YOU CAN FEEL

THE CUSTOMERS COMING, AND THEY

ON THEIR WAY.

[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]

EXCUSE ME.

OKAY, NOW I DONE TOOK OUT

THE TRASH.

I DONE CLEANED THE BATHROOM.

WHAT'S NEXT?

[ GASPS ]

WHAT YOU DOING HERE?

UH...GETTING A HAIRCUT.

YEAH, KIKI.

TAKE A LITTLE OFF THE TOP

AND TAPER IT IN THE BACK.

KEEP THE WAVES.

YEAH, DON'T --

CALVIN, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED

TO BE AT WORK?

WHERE'S YOUR SUIT?

UH, IT'S CASUAL FRIDAY.

TODAY IS TUESDAY.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, MR. PAYNE?

IT'S WEDNESDAY IN CHINA.

CURTIS...

DON'T MESS WITH THAT.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

OKAY, LOOK, POPS...

I GOT LAID OFF.

LAID OFF!

YOU GOT FIRED.

KIKI!

OOH!

WHY YOU DIDN'T JUST

TELL ME THAT?

BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULD

KILL ME.

CALVIN, I WOULDN'T HAVE

KILLED YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YEAH, HE WOULD!

OKAY, OKAY.

BUT YOU STILL SHOULD

HAVE TOLD ME.

HEY, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.

YOU DON'T HAVE A BRIGHT SIDE.

I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO NOW.

WHAT'S THAT?

I'M GONNA BE A BARBER.

WHAT THE HELL? A BARBER?

AFTER I DONE SPENT ALL THAT

MONEY ON COLLEGE, YOU TELLIN' ME

I WASTED MY MONEY ON COLLEGE,

AND YOU WANT TO BE A BARBER?

FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU

COULD HAVE DONE OUT OF

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?

OH, COME ON!

WAIT A MINUTE.

SHOULD WE BE OFFENDED?

SEE?

WELL, POP, I REALLY WANT TO

CUT HAIR.

AND I REALLY WANT TO WHUP

YOUR ASS.

BUT YOU WERE SHOUTING

EARLIER, REMEMBER?

"OOH!"

REMEMBER?

I WAS WARMING UP.

FOR WHAT?

COME ON, I WANT TO TALK

TO YOU.

OKAY, LET'S TALK.

COME ON.

NO, NO, NO.

I'M GONNA STAY RIGHT HERE.

WE CAN TALK RIGHT HERE.

I DON'T WANT TO

STAY RIGHT HERE.

COME ON, CURTIS.

COME ON, CURTIS.

CURTIS.

COME ON, COME ON.

CALM DOWN, MR. PAYNE.

RUN, CALVIN, RUN!

RUN!

AAH!

OH!

YES, 911?

THERE'S A BIG VIOLENT BLACK MAN

CHASING AFTER THIS LITTLE OLD

BITTY WHITE WOMAN.

SHE'S A LITTLE DAMSEL.

SAY YOU RIGHT OUT FRONT?

LOOK OUT THE WINDOW?

WOW! WHERE WERE Y'ALL WHEN MY

STORE GOT BROKE IN?

AND YOU SAID GIRLS DON'T LIKE

GUYS IN NIGHTGOWNS.

MAN, YOU HEARD THAT?

YEAH.

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, YOU'RE

LIKE A BROTHER TO ME, TOO, MAN.

THANKS, MAN.

THANKS.

SO, YEAH, LADIES, DID KEVIN

TELL YOU THAT I WAS IN THIS

ACCIDENT, AS WELL?

AH, I REMEMBER IT SO VIVIDLY...

'CAUSE IT WAS YESTERDAY.

IT WAS RAINING THAT NIGHT.

I WAS GLISTENING AS I WALKED

OUTSIDE.