All language subtitles for Tyler Perrys House of Payne - S03E01 - Wife Swap WEBDL-1080p_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,172 --> 00:00:03,551 C.J.: YOU GOT TO STOP SPOILING US 2 00:00:03,551 --> 00:00:04,827 WITH THESE FABULOUS MEALS. 3 00:00:04,827 --> 00:00:06,586 MAN, I THINK I JUST GAINED FIVE POUNDS. 4 00:00:06,586 --> 00:00:09,241 Ella: C.J., I AM NOT SPOILING YOU, BUT THANK YOU. 5 00:00:09,241 --> 00:00:12,103 I JUST LOVE COOKING FOR MY FAMILY. 6 00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,310 Calvin: WE LOVE YOU LOVING TO COOK. 7 00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:17,586 Curtis: AND I LOVE IT WHEN YOU KISS UP. 8 00:00:17,586 --> 00:00:19,655 COME ON, Y'ALL. BREAKFAST WAS OKAY. 9 00:00:19,655 --> 00:00:22,000 THE GRITS WERE LUMPY. THE COFFEE WAS WEAK. 10 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,344 I MEAN, BUT IT'LL DO THE TRICK. 11 00:00:23,344 --> 00:00:24,793 Calvin: THAT'S NOT NICE, POPS. 12 00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,172 Curtis: WHAT? I'M JUST SAYING 13 00:00:26,172 --> 00:00:27,517 IT'S NOT YOUR MOTHER'S BEST WORK. 14 00:00:27,517 --> 00:00:29,344 Ella: WATCH IT, CURTIS. WATCH IT, OKAY? 15 00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:31,000 Curtis: BABY, DON'T GET ALL SENSITIVE ON ME, NOW. 16 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,344 COME ON, NOW. COME ON. 17 00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:33,965 I'M JUST SAYING YOU AIN'T PUT YOUR FOOT IN IT 18 00:00:33,965 --> 00:00:36,344 LIKE YOU USUALLY DO, THAT'S ALL. 19 00:00:36,344 --> 00:00:37,655 Ella: WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE 20 00:00:37,655 --> 00:00:39,517 I CAN PUT MY FOOT IN. 21 00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,758 C.J.: OOH! HELLO! 22 00:00:41,758 --> 00:00:44,137 Malik: AUNTIE ELLA, I THOUGHT BREAKFAST WAS GREAT. 23 00:00:44,137 --> 00:00:46,344 IF I WASN'T IN TRAINING, I WOULD HAVE HAD SECONDS. 24 00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:47,827 Ella: THANK YOU. 25 00:00:47,827 --> 00:00:49,000 Curtis: SO HOW LONG YOU GONNA KEEP UP 26 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,448 WITH THIS LITTLE DIET OF YOURS, MALIK? 27 00:00:51,448 --> 00:00:53,344 Malik: UNCLE CURTIS, IT'S NOT A DIET. 28 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,931 I'M IN TRAINING FOR FOOTBALL. 29 00:00:54,931 --> 00:00:57,000 YOU KNOW? HUT, HUT, HUT, HIKE. 30 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,137 Curtis: HUT, HUT, HUT, HUT! 31 00:00:59,137 --> 00:01:00,241 [ LAUGHS ] 32 00:01:00,241 --> 00:01:04,344 SCORE! 33 00:01:04,344 --> 00:01:06,275 SINCE WHEN DID YOU START LIKING FOOTBALL? 34 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,689 Jazmine: WELL, SINCE APRIL BECAME CAPTAIN 35 00:01:08,689 --> 00:01:10,068 OF THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD. 36 00:01:10,068 --> 00:01:11,413 Calvin: WHO'S APRIL? 37 00:01:11,413 --> 00:01:14,586 Jazmine: SOME GIRL MALIK HAS NO CHANCE WITH. 38 00:01:14,586 --> 00:01:16,551 Malik: BE QUIET, OKAY? 39 00:01:16,551 --> 00:01:19,344 AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, COUSIN CALVIN, 40 00:01:19,344 --> 00:01:22,344 APRIL IS THE FINEST GIRL IN THE 7th GRADE. 41 00:01:22,344 --> 00:01:24,344 C.J.: AND MALIK MUST REALLY LIKE HER A LOT, 42 00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:26,551 BECAUSE HE WENT ONLINE AND STUDIED EVERYTHING 43 00:01:26,551 --> 00:01:27,862 THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT FOOTBALL. 44 00:01:27,862 --> 00:01:29,482 Ella: ALL OF THIS FOR SOME GIRL? 45 00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:31,103 C.J.: OH, NOT JUST "SOME GIRL". 46 00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:33,827 Ella: OKAY. C.J.: APRIL! 47 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,517 YEAH! 48 00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:37,344 COME ON, NOW, LET'S GET TO SCHOOL BEFORE Y'ALL BE LATE. 49 00:01:37,344 --> 00:01:38,965 Calvin: I'M PROUD OF YOU, BIG DOG. 50 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,034 REMINDS ME OF A MINI-ME. 51 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:43,862 C.J.: WELL, LET'S HOPE THAT ONLY APPLIES TO LADIES, 52 00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:45,965 'CAUSE I'D LIKE FOR THIS BOY TO FINISH SCHOOL. 53 00:01:45,965 --> 00:01:48,310 Curtis: HA! 54 00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:56,068 C.J.: THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 55 00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:57,724 THAT'S THE WAY YOU GET UP IN IT, BOY. 56 00:01:57,724 --> 00:01:58,931 TEAR THAT PLACE UP! 57 00:01:58,931 --> 00:01:59,758 Ella: YEAH! Curtis: WHAT HAPPENED? 58 00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:02,172 C.J.: HA! 59 00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:03,275 THAT'S THE BOY, RIGHT THERE! 60 00:02:03,275 --> 00:02:04,482 Ella: MALIK, HOW WAS PRACTICE? 61 00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:06,896 Malik: IT WAS GREAT. IT WAS GREAT. 62 00:02:06,896 --> 00:02:08,793 Curtis: ALL RIGHT... THE PAYNE! 63 00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:10,068 WHY YOU WALKING LIKE THAT? 64 00:02:10,068 --> 00:02:12,000 Malik: WELL, AFTER PRACTICE, 65 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,862 I SPRINTED UP THE BLEACHERS FOR APRIL. 66 00:02:13,862 --> 00:02:16,344 Curtis: OKAY! HE SPRINTED AFTER PRACTICE. 67 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,413 THAT'S WHY HE SORE NOW. 68 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:19,206 C.J.: NO, HE MISSED A STEP, 69 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:22,689 AND HE ROLLED DOWN THREE FLIGHTS. 70 00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:23,724 Curtis: OW. 71 00:02:23,724 --> 00:02:24,896 Malik: APRIL HELPED ME UP, 72 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:28,241 SO I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD. 73 00:02:28,241 --> 00:02:30,448 C.J.: HEY, MALIK. HYAH! 74 00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:32,793 Malik: [ WEAKLY ] HYAH! 75 00:02:32,793 --> 00:02:34,275 Curtis: THAT'S FOOTBALL TALK RIGHT THERE. 76 00:02:34,275 --> 00:02:35,275 C.J.: GET TO YOUR HOMEWORK, MAN. 77 00:02:35,275 --> 00:02:36,275 GET TO YOUR HOMEWORK. 78 00:02:36,275 --> 00:02:37,413 Malik: AAH! 79 00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:42,137 Calvin: SO, C.J., HOW'D HE REALLY DO? 80 00:02:42,137 --> 00:02:44,275 C.J.: HE SUCKS! 81 00:02:44,275 --> 00:02:46,620 Ella: [ LAUGHS ] NO! 82 00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,379 C.J.: BOY IS TERRIBLE. 83 00:02:48,379 --> 00:02:49,965 Calvin: IF HE'S ANYTHING LIKE ME, 84 00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:52,137 HE'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET WITH THAT GIRL APRIL. 85 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:54,310 C.J.: I HOPE SO, 'CAUSE FOOTBALL IS NOT HIS GAME. 86 00:02:54,310 --> 00:02:56,482 Jazmine: PEOPLE, STOP KIDDING YOURSELVES. 87 00:02:56,482 --> 00:02:58,655 MALIK WON'T BE GOOD AT FOOTBALL 88 00:02:58,655 --> 00:02:59,931 OR WITH GIRLS. 89 00:02:59,931 --> 00:03:04,241 HE MIGHT AS WELL JUST BE A MONK. 90 00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:05,413 C.J.: A MONK? 91 00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,517 JAZMINE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT A MONK IS? 92 00:03:07,517 --> 00:03:10,137 Jazmine: YEP. MALIK. 93 00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:12,517 C.J.: ANYWAY, HIS FIRST GAME IS TOMORROW, 94 00:03:12,517 --> 00:03:15,344 SO I THOUGHT THAT EVEN THOUGH HE'S NOT THAT GOOD, 95 00:03:15,344 --> 00:03:16,965 THAT WE'D ALL GO AND SUPPORT HIM. 96 00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:18,344 YOU KNOW, MAKE IT A FAMILY OUTING. 97 00:03:18,344 --> 00:03:20,034 Ella: GOOD. WE'LL GO. Curtis: "GOOD," WHAT? 98 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,206 WE AIN'T GOIN' OVER THERE. 99 00:03:21,206 --> 00:03:22,344 WHAT YOU WANT TO GO WATCH HIM FOR? 100 00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:26,000 HE JUST SAID THE BOY CAN'T PLAY. 101 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000 ME AND YOUR AUNTIE STAYING HERE. 102 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,275 WE'RE NOT GOING. 103 00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,827 Ella: I CAN SPEAK FOR MYSELF, THANK YOU. 104 00:03:29,827 --> 00:03:31,000 Curtis: YOU RIGHT, BABY. I'M SORRY. 105 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,586 GO ON AND TELL HIM WE STAYING HERE. 106 00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:35,103 WE NOT GOING. 107 00:03:35,103 --> 00:03:38,586 Ella: ACTUALLY, I WANT TO SEE MALIK PLAY. 108 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,068 Curtis: ELLA, STOP. SEE HIM FOR WHAT? 109 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:41,896 BABY, HE'S PROBABLY JUST A BENCH WARMER. 110 00:03:41,896 --> 00:03:43,379 Ella: EVEN IF HE IS, WE STILL NEED 111 00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:45,275 TO GO AND JUST SHOW OUR SUPPORT. 112 00:03:45,275 --> 00:03:46,620 Curtis: BABY, THAT'S WHAT HE GOT 113 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:51,172 A PARENT FOR-- TO SUPPORT HIM. 114 00:03:51,172 --> 00:03:53,620 OKAY? NOW, COME ON, BABY. 115 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:56,758 I SAY WE DO SOMETHING SPECIAL. ME AND YOU. 116 00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,137 Ella: JUST ME AND YOU? 117 00:03:58,137 --> 00:03:59,758 Curtis: ME AND YOU-- SOMETHING SPECIAL. 118 00:03:59,758 --> 00:04:01,034 ME PLANNING IT, 119 00:04:01,034 --> 00:04:04,517 BUT ME AND MY BABY DOING SOMETHING SPECIAL. 120 00:04:04,517 --> 00:04:07,689 Ella: HA HA HA! C.J.! 121 00:04:07,689 --> 00:04:10,827 C.J., WE'RE GONNA CATCH THE NEXT GAME. 122 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:12,793 Jazmine: IF THERE IS A NEXT GAME. 123 00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:16,689 KNOWING MALIK, HE'LL GET CUT FROM THE BENCH. 124 00:04:20,896 --> 00:04:22,137 C.J.: MAN, YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT GONNA COME WITH US 125 00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:24,000 TO THE FOOTBALL GAME? Curtis: I'M SURE. 126 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,034 I WANT TO BE WHEREVER YOU ALL ARE NOT. 127 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,655 Jazmine: YEAH, I FEEL THE SAME WAY. 128 00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:33,034 SO, ARE YOU SURE THAT I CAN'T KICK IT 129 00:04:33,034 --> 00:04:35,103 WITH YOU AND AUNTIE ELLA? 130 00:04:35,103 --> 00:04:39,758 Curtis: LITTLE GIRL...UGH! 131 00:04:39,758 --> 00:04:42,068 YOU GONNA GET KICKED. 132 00:04:42,068 --> 00:04:43,931 NOW, GET OUT NOW. 133 00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:47,758 Jazmine: WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL? 134 00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:49,448 Calvin: DON'T LET HIM GET YOU DOWN, LIL' BIT. 135 00:04:49,448 --> 00:04:50,931 WE'RE GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME WITHOUT HIM. 136 00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:52,517 C.J.: AUNT ELLA, WE'RE LEAVING. 137 00:04:52,517 --> 00:04:55,103 Curtis: HEY, MALIK, DO ME A FAVOR. 138 00:04:55,103 --> 00:04:58,620 DON'T TELL ANYBODY YOU'RE A PAYNE. 139 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:00,310 Malik: OKAY, UNCLE CURTIS, I WON'T. 140 00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,448 Curtis: THANK YOU. 141 00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:02,448 Ella: ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS GO 142 00:05:02,448 --> 00:05:03,482 AND HAVE FUN. 143 00:05:03,482 --> 00:05:05,655 MALIK, PLEASE, DON'T GET HURT. 144 00:05:05,655 --> 00:05:07,655 Curtis: BABY, IT'S FOOTBALL. HE'S GONNA GET HURT. 145 00:05:07,655 --> 00:05:10,344 Jazmine: YES! 146 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,344 C.J.: LITTLE GIRL, COME ON. 147 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,551 Ella: BYE, BABE. 148 00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,827 HAVE A GOOD TIME. 149 00:05:14,827 --> 00:05:15,862 Curtis: WHOO! 150 00:05:15,862 --> 00:05:17,551 Ella: TA-DA! Curtis: TA-DA! 151 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:18,827 Ella: NO, NO, NO. 152 00:05:18,827 --> 00:05:22,310 TA-DA! 153 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:24,896 CURTIS, LOOK HERE. 154 00:05:24,896 --> 00:05:27,689 Curtis: WHY YOU ALL DRESSED UP? 155 00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:30,482 Ella: BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING OUT. 156 00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,448 Curtis: WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT? 157 00:05:32,448 --> 00:05:33,965 Ella: BECAUSE YESTERDAY YOU SAID IT. 158 00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:35,275 YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAN 159 00:05:35,275 --> 00:05:37,965 SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR JUST US, REMEMBER? 160 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,965 Curtis: YEAH, I DID, AND THIS IT. 161 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,103 WE GOT A SPECIAL-- THERE'S A SPECIAL 162 00:05:41,103 --> 00:05:43,241 ON TV TONIGHT. 163 00:05:45,275 --> 00:05:46,620 US. 164 00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:48,000 Ella: CURTIS, THAT IS NOT SPECIAL. 165 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,379 WE ALWAYS WATCH TV. 166 00:05:49,379 --> 00:05:50,689 Curtis: NOT LIKE THIS, ELLA. 167 00:05:50,689 --> 00:05:53,931 LOOK. BABY, LISTEN, LISTEN. 168 00:05:53,931 --> 00:05:56,275 SILENCE. PEACE. NOBODY'S HERE. 169 00:05:56,275 --> 00:05:58,275 THERE'S USUALLY 50 PEOPLE RUNNING THROUGH HERE, BABY. 170 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,172 Ella: CURTIS, I WANT TO GO OUT, OKAY? 171 00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,413 IF I'D KNOWN WE WERE GONNA WATCH TV, 172 00:06:02,413 --> 00:06:03,689 I WOULD HAVE GONE TO THE GAME. 173 00:06:03,689 --> 00:06:05,689 Curtis: I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU. 174 00:06:05,689 --> 00:06:06,965 Ella: THANK YOU. 175 00:06:06,965 --> 00:06:09,000 Curtis: WE'RE NOT JUST GONNA WATCH TV. 176 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,344 WHEN THIS SHOW GO OFF, 177 00:06:10,344 --> 00:06:12,517 I'M TAKING YOU IN THE BACK ROOM, 178 00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:16,517 AND WE GONNA MAKE A TV SHOW OF OUR OWN. 179 00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:17,896 HELLO! Ella: CURTIS-- 180 00:06:17,896 --> 00:06:21,103 Curtis: BUT FOR RIGHT NOW, SHH. 181 00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:24,034 Ella: YOU SAID WE WOULD DO SOMETHING SPECIAL. 182 00:06:24,034 --> 00:06:28,448 AND TRUST ME, DOING THAT IS NOT ALWAYS SPECIAL. 183 00:06:28,448 --> 00:06:29,586 Curtis: THAT'S WHY WE'RE GONNA DO IT 184 00:06:29,586 --> 00:06:31,551 WITH THE HONEY MUSTARD THIS TIME. 185 00:06:31,551 --> 00:06:32,620 HA HA! 186 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:33,931 GET READY TO GET GLAZED. 187 00:06:33,931 --> 00:06:36,931 Ella: CURTIS. 188 00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,413 LET'S GO DANCING. 189 00:06:38,413 --> 00:06:39,482 DANCING! 190 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,000 Curtis: BABY, DO YOU KNOW, 191 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,448 AFTER THE MOVIE GO OFF... Ella: WHAT? 192 00:06:42,448 --> 00:06:45,793 Curtis:...THERE'S A SHOW, THE DANCE SHOW COME ON. 193 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:47,103 THEY COME BACK TO BACK, 194 00:06:47,103 --> 00:06:48,551 AND WE GONNA-- SO WE SEE THE MOVIE, 195 00:06:48,551 --> 00:06:49,551 THEN WE WATCH THAT. 196 00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:51,241 Ella: CURTIS. 197 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,275 Curtis: WHAT YOU DOING? Ella: AH AH AH! 198 00:06:53,275 --> 00:06:54,931 Curtis: ELLA-- Ella: MARRIAGE... 199 00:06:54,931 --> 00:06:56,310 IS A COMPROMISE, OKAY? 200 00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:57,931 I GET TIRED, TOO. Curtis: ELLA, DON'T DO THIS. 201 00:06:57,931 --> 00:06:59,275 Ella: BUT I STILL COOK FOR YOU 202 00:06:59,275 --> 00:07:01,344 AND CLEAN UP FOR YOU 203 00:07:01,344 --> 00:07:05,344 AND DO YOU-KNOW-WHAT WHEN YOU WANT TO. 204 00:07:05,344 --> 00:07:08,172 AND SOMETIMES, CURTIS, I DON'T EVEN FEEL LIKE IT. 205 00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,827 Curtis: AND I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT, BABY. 206 00:07:10,827 --> 00:07:14,379 I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT. 207 00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:17,655 Ella: NO, YOU DON'T. 208 00:07:17,655 --> 00:07:19,172 YOU TAKE ME FOR GRANTED. 209 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,275 Curtis: UNH-UNH! Ella: YES, YOU DO. 210 00:07:20,275 --> 00:07:21,758 YES, YOU DO. Curtis: SHH, SHH. 211 00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:24,862 Ella: BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S MINE. 212 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:28,379 I MUST BE THE DUMBEST WOMAN ON EARTH TO MARRY YOU. 213 00:07:28,379 --> 00:07:30,137 Curtis: [ WHISPERING ] BABY, I CAN'T... 214 00:07:30,137 --> 00:07:32,000 Ella: YOU'RE SELFISH, YOU'RE S... 215 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,344 Curtis: ELLA, BABY, I'M SITTING HERE 216 00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:34,344 TRYING TO WATCH THE MOVIE. 217 00:07:34,344 --> 00:07:35,586 Ella: [ GROANS ] 218 00:07:35,586 --> 00:07:37,275 Curtis: YOU BEING REAL SELFISH RIGHT NOW. 219 00:07:37,275 --> 00:07:38,931 WHY ARE YOU SLAMMING DOORS? I'M WATCHING THE MOVIE. 220 00:07:43,758 --> 00:07:45,172 C.J.: AHH! 221 00:07:45,172 --> 00:07:48,448 Jazmine: YEAH! WHOO! C.J.: YOU WAS KILLING 'EM. 222 00:07:48,448 --> 00:07:49,965 Curtis: COME ON, NOW. COME ON. 223 00:07:49,965 --> 00:07:51,689 Calvin: SORRY, POPS, BUT YOU MISSED A GOOD GAME. 224 00:07:51,689 --> 00:07:54,103 C.J.: YEAH, MAN. MALIK RECOVERED A FUMBLE 225 00:07:54,103 --> 00:07:55,931 AND RAN THAT THING IN FOR A TOUCHDOWN! 226 00:07:55,931 --> 00:07:57,758 Malik: WHOO! I WAS SO SMOOTH. 227 00:07:57,758 --> 00:07:59,448 WHOO! I FAKED TO THE LEFT, 228 00:07:59,448 --> 00:08:00,586 THEN I FAKED TO THE RIGHT. 229 00:08:00,586 --> 00:08:01,965 I WAS HEADING FOR THE END ZONE. 230 00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:03,413 Calvin: BIG DOG BROKE FIVE TACKLES. 231 00:08:03,413 --> 00:08:05,103 Malik: MAN, THEY WAS COMING AT ME HARD, 232 00:08:05,103 --> 00:08:06,103 AND DID I CARE? 233 00:08:06,103 --> 00:08:07,172 I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT THEM, 234 00:08:07,172 --> 00:08:09,034 'CAUSE I WAS IN A ZONE, MAN. 235 00:08:09,034 --> 00:08:10,517 C.J.: THEN HE GOT CHARGED WITH A PENALTY 236 00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:12,172 FOR UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT 237 00:08:12,172 --> 00:08:13,655 FOR DANCING IN THE END ZONE. 238 00:08:13,655 --> 00:08:15,172 Curtis: OH, UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT. 239 00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:16,448 Malik: WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT, 240 00:08:16,448 --> 00:08:18,241 'CAUSE APRIL SAYS SHE'LL CALL ME LATER. 241 00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:19,379 C.J.: HOT DOG! 242 00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:20,344 Calvin: SO YOU GAVE HER YOUR NUMBER? 243 00:08:20,344 --> 00:08:21,344 THAT'S A NICE MOVE. 244 00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:22,620 Malik: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 245 00:08:22,620 --> 00:08:24,689 WAIT. WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. 246 00:08:24,689 --> 00:08:29,517 I DIDN'T GIVE HER MY NUMBER, MAN! 247 00:08:29,517 --> 00:08:30,827 YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M LOOKING UP 248 00:08:30,827 --> 00:08:32,034 EVERYBODY IN THE PHONE BOOK 249 00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:33,310 WITH HER LAST NAME. 250 00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,896 I'M GONNA FIND HER. I'M GONNA FIND HER. 251 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,241 Curtis: THERE YOU GO, BOY! 252 00:08:36,241 --> 00:08:38,172 C.J.: JAZMINE, GO AND GET READY FOR DINNER. 253 00:08:38,172 --> 00:08:40,275 GET WASHED UP. 254 00:08:40,275 --> 00:08:43,724 HEY, HOW COME I DON'T SMELL NOTHING COOKING? 255 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,482 Curtis: I THINK WE ON OUR OWN TONIGHT. 256 00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,862 YOUR AUNTIE'S BACK THERE TAKING A NAP. 257 00:08:47,862 --> 00:08:49,758 Calvin: SO, HOW'D IT GO WITH YOU AND MOM TODAY? 258 00:08:49,758 --> 00:08:50,758 Curtis: NOT SO GOOD. 259 00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,275 SHE'S MAD AT ME. 260 00:08:52,275 --> 00:08:53,448 C.J.: WHAT'D YOU DO NOW? 261 00:08:53,448 --> 00:08:54,620 Curtis: I DIDN'T DO NOTHIN'. 262 00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,137 APPARENTLY THAT'S THE PROBLEM. 263 00:08:56,137 --> 00:08:57,310 SHE'S TALKING ABOUT I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE HER 264 00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:59,344 OUT OR SOMETHING. 265 00:08:59,344 --> 00:09:01,068 Calvin: WELL, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU TOLD HER? 266 00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:03,241 Curtis: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE'S HEARING? 267 00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:05,034 I DIDN'T SAY NOTHIN' ABOUT TAKING HER OUT. 268 00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:06,344 SAID WE WAS GONNA DO SOMETHING SPECIAL. 269 00:09:06,344 --> 00:09:08,344 THAT'S NOT "TAKING HER OUT". 270 00:09:08,344 --> 00:09:09,689 C.J.: I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE STAYED MARRIED 271 00:09:09,689 --> 00:09:10,965 TO YOU THIS LONG. 272 00:09:10,965 --> 00:09:12,344 I'M GONNA GET WASHED UP FOR DINNER. 273 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:13,655 Calvin: POPS, IF YOU DON'T START 274 00:09:13,655 --> 00:09:16,655 TREATING MOM RIGHT, SHE'S GONNA LEAVE YOU. 275 00:09:16,655 --> 00:09:17,758 Curtis: WHATEVER! 276 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:20,620 ELLA! 277 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:23,344 HEY, ELLA, TELL THEM! 278 00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:26,000 Madea: WHO THE HELL IS ELLA? 279 00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:32,068 Curtis: Madea! 280 00:09:32,068 --> 00:09:34,586 WHAT-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 281 00:09:34,586 --> 00:09:36,034 Madea: THE HELL YOU MEAN, "WHAT AM I DOING HERE?" 282 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,551 I LIVE HERE. Curtis: LIVE HERE? 283 00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:39,827 Madea: LIVE HERE, AND I'M GONNA ASK YOU ONE MORE TIME. 284 00:09:39,827 --> 00:09:41,586 WHO THE HELL IS ELLA? 285 00:09:41,586 --> 00:09:42,896 YOU CHEATING ON ME, FOOL? 286 00:09:42,896 --> 00:09:44,034 FOOL, YOU CHEATING ON ME? 287 00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,137 YOU CHEATING ON ME? 288 00:09:45,137 --> 00:09:46,241 Curtis: HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. 289 00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:48,241 HOLD ON. ELLA IS MY WIFE! 290 00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:49,448 WHERE IS MY WIFE? 291 00:09:49,448 --> 00:09:53,758 Madea: I AM YOUR WIFE, YOU JACKASS. 292 00:09:53,758 --> 00:09:55,413 I BEEN ASKING MYSELF THAT SAME QUESTION 293 00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:57,034 OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 294 00:09:57,034 --> 00:10:00,206 "WHY DID I GET MARRIED?" 295 00:10:00,206 --> 00:10:02,068 Curtis: QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH ME, MADEA. 296 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,448 WHAT YOU DONE DONE WITH ELLA? 297 00:10:03,448 --> 00:10:05,137 Madea: WHAT THE HELL WRONG WITH YOU? 298 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:08,000 Curtis: C.J., CALVIN, GET OUT HERE! 299 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,517 C.J.: WHAT'S UP, UNC? Calvin: WHAT'S THE DEAL, POPS? 300 00:10:10,517 --> 00:10:11,827 Curtis: LOOK. Madea: LOOK AT WHAT? 301 00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:13,310 Curtis: LOOK! 302 00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:15,482 WHO IS THAT? WHAT'S HER NAME? 303 00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,172 C.J.: THAT'S MADEA. Curtis: THANK YOU! 304 00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:19,034 I TOLD YOU, YOU ARE NOT MY WIFE! 305 00:10:19,034 --> 00:10:20,517 Madea: I KNEW IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME 306 00:10:20,517 --> 00:10:23,172 BEFORE THAT PORK GREASE WENT UP TO YOUR HEAD 307 00:10:23,172 --> 00:10:26,344 AND CAUSED YOU TO HAVE BRAIN SLIPPERAGE. 308 00:10:26,344 --> 00:10:27,551 Curtis: WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR? 309 00:10:27,551 --> 00:10:29,517 YOU LOOKING ALL CRAZY. WHAT'S WRONG? 310 00:10:29,517 --> 00:10:31,413 C.J.: THAT'S YOUR WIFE, UNC. 311 00:10:34,689 --> 00:10:36,482 Curtis: IS SHE? 312 00:10:36,482 --> 00:10:38,517 Calvin: POP, WHY ARE YOU ACTING SO CRAZY? 313 00:10:38,517 --> 00:10:40,344 Curtis: OKAY, HOLD UP, HOLD UP. I GOT TO GET THIS STRAIGHT. 314 00:10:40,344 --> 00:10:42,689 I GOT TO GET THIS STRAIGHT. 315 00:10:42,689 --> 00:10:44,896 OKAY. YOU'RE C.J., RIGHT? 316 00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:46,482 C.J.: YEAH. Curtis: THANK YOU. 317 00:10:46,482 --> 00:10:47,689 CALVIN? 318 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,655 MY ONLY BEGOTTEN, RIGHT? Calvin: RIGHT. 319 00:10:49,655 --> 00:10:52,103 Curtis: OKAY. JAZI. 320 00:10:52,103 --> 00:10:53,586 OKAY. MALIK. 321 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,344 YOU'RE MALIK-- MALIK PAYNE. 322 00:10:55,344 --> 00:10:57,931 ON THE SHIRT, IT GOT "PAYNE" ON IT. 323 00:10:57,931 --> 00:10:59,896 Jazmine: WHAT'S WRONG WITH UNCLE CURTIS? 324 00:10:59,896 --> 00:11:01,896 Malik: I DON'T KNOW. I THINK HE'S FINALLY SNAPPED. 325 00:11:01,896 --> 00:11:03,862 Madea: [ LAUGHS ] 326 00:11:03,862 --> 00:11:07,000 Curtis: THIS IS THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION. 327 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,655 WHAT IS YOUR MOTHER'S NAME? 328 00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:13,896 Calvin: MADEA. 329 00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:15,655 Curtis: MADEA'S NOT YOUR MOTHER! 330 00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:16,689 Calvin: I'M ADOPTED? 331 00:11:16,689 --> 00:11:18,172 Madea: YOU AIN'T ADOPTED. 332 00:11:18,172 --> 00:11:19,827 THAT WAS THE WORST 3 AND A HALF SECONDS 333 00:11:19,827 --> 00:11:20,965 OF MY LIFE, MAKING YOU. 334 00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:22,172 GO IN THE KITCHEN AND SIT DOWN. 335 00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:23,448 Y'ALL WORKING ON MY NERVES. 336 00:11:23,448 --> 00:11:24,862 GO IN AND FIX SOMETHING FOR THEM TO EAT, CURTIS. 337 00:11:24,862 --> 00:11:26,172 I'M WATCHING MY STORIES. 338 00:11:26,172 --> 00:11:28,172 Jazmine: HE CAN'T COOK. YOU NEED TO DO IT. 339 00:11:28,172 --> 00:11:29,965 Madea: FREEZE. 340 00:11:29,965 --> 00:11:31,413 NOW, I KNOW THERE'S SOME OF Y'ALL 341 00:11:31,413 --> 00:11:33,241 THAT WANT TO WRITE IN AND SAY THAT I'M NOT SUPPOSED 342 00:11:33,241 --> 00:11:35,241 TO HIT NO "CHIR-REN" AND ALL THAT OTHER STUFF. 343 00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,344 GO STRAIGHT TO HELL. 344 00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:38,862 I'M MADEA. I'M FINNA BEAT HER ASS. 345 00:11:38,862 --> 00:11:40,827 WE GOIN' TO BLACK, AND WHEN I COME BACK, 346 00:11:40,827 --> 00:11:42,000 SHE GONNA BE STRAIGHT. 347 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,137 CUT THE CAMERA OFF! PUT IT DOWN 348 00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:44,551 ON THE DAMN FLOOR OR SOMETHING. 349 00:11:44,551 --> 00:11:46,517 LOOK AT THE WALL OVER THERE WHILE I HANDLE THIS. 350 00:11:46,517 --> 00:11:48,034 PUT THE CAMERA DOWN... 351 00:11:48,034 --> 00:11:49,482 Jazmine: [ SCREAMING ] [ SMACKING SOUNDS ] 352 00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:52,206 Madea: YOU DON'T SIT THERE AND TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! 353 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,000 DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Jazmine: [ CRYING ] 354 00:11:55,344 --> 00:11:58,344 Madea: COME ON. 355 00:11:58,344 --> 00:12:02,413 NOW, SORRY FOR ALL OF YOU PROPER PEOPLE 356 00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:03,689 WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT. 357 00:12:03,689 --> 00:12:05,517 I DON'T BELIEVE IN CHILD ABUSE, 358 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:09,344 BUT I DO BELIEVE IN GETTING A CHILD STRAIGHT, OKAY? 359 00:12:09,344 --> 00:12:12,344 UNFREEZE. 360 00:12:12,344 --> 00:12:16,931 Jazmine: WHY DOES MY BOOM-BOOM HURT? 361 00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:19,517 Madea: LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN, SHALT WE? 362 00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:20,862 Y'ALL GO ON IN THE KITCHEN. 363 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,103 CURTIS, GO ON UP IN THERE AND FIX SOME FOOD 364 00:12:22,103 --> 00:12:23,827 FOR THEM "CHIR-REN" TO EAT. GO ON IN THERE. 365 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:25,724 Jazmine: YES, MA'AM. 366 00:12:29,931 --> 00:12:30,965 Madea: I SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE 367 00:12:30,965 --> 00:12:32,137 AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON. 368 00:12:32,137 --> 00:12:34,000 [ CHUCKLES, MUTTERS ] 369 00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,344 Curtis: HEY, SON. WHEW! 370 00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:39,620 GOOD TO SEE YOU. WHERE YOU GOING? 371 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,172 Calvin: TO THE HOSPITAL. MRS. SATTLELACK 372 00:12:41,172 --> 00:12:43,000 IS READY TO DELIVER. 373 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,344 Curtis: ANYWAY. HEY, LOOK HERE. 374 00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:46,689 I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT. 375 00:12:46,689 --> 00:12:48,586 MATTER OF FACT, IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. 376 00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:50,275 Calvin: REALLY? WHAT HAPPENED, DAD? 377 00:12:50,275 --> 00:12:51,793 Curtis: I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. 378 00:12:51,793 --> 00:12:53,172 WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER AT, THOUGH? 379 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,586 'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY CLEAN UNIFORM SHIRTS. 380 00:12:54,586 --> 00:12:55,655 Calvin: SHE WENT TO THE GROCERY STORE, 381 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:56,793 BUT SHE SHOULD BE RIGHT BACK. 382 00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:58,034 SHE JUST HAD TO GET SOME CIGARETTES. 383 00:12:58,034 --> 00:13:00,724 Curtis: OKAY. WAIT. HOLD ON, HOLD ON. 384 00:13:00,724 --> 00:13:02,241 ELLA DON'T SMOKE. 385 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:03,827 Calvin: WHO'S ELLA? 386 00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:05,172 Curtis: OH, MY GOD. 387 00:13:05,172 --> 00:13:08,827 I'M STILL IN THE NIGHTMARE. 388 00:13:08,827 --> 00:13:10,448 DID YOU GRADUATE? 389 00:13:10,448 --> 00:13:12,241 Calvin: POPS, I'M A DOCTOR. YES. 390 00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:14,862 Curtis: I MEAN, IT'S A GOOD NIGHTMARE IN A WAY, 391 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:17,172 BUT IT'S STILL A NIGHTMARE, 'CAUSE... 392 00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:18,827 THAT MEANS I'M MARRIED-- 393 00:13:18,827 --> 00:13:20,862 I'M MARRIED TO MADEA? 394 00:13:20,862 --> 00:13:24,551 Madea: HELLO! Curtis: AAH! 395 00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:25,793 Madea: THE HELL'S WRONG WITH HIM? 396 00:13:25,793 --> 00:13:26,827 Calvin: I HAVE NO IDEA. I GOT TO GO. 397 00:13:26,827 --> 00:13:29,000 Madea: OKAY, I SEE YOU LATER. 398 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000 Curtis: [ PRAYING ] 399 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,379 Madea: CURTIS, WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? 400 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:33,724 I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING BOTHERED. 401 00:13:33,724 --> 00:13:35,413 I JUST SAT IN THAT BEAUTY SALON FOR TWO HOURS 402 00:13:35,413 --> 00:13:37,172 WAITING FOR AL SHARPTON TO GET FROM UNDER THE DRYER. 403 00:13:37,172 --> 00:13:38,793 I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING BOTHERED. 404 00:13:38,793 --> 00:13:39,931 THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? YOU GOT A PROBLEM OR SOMETHING? 405 00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:41,034 Curtis: YES, I GOT A PROBLEM. 406 00:13:41,034 --> 00:13:43,172 YOU MY PROBLEM. 407 00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:46,413 NOW, I DON'T HAVE ANY CLEAN UNIFORM SHIRTS. 408 00:13:46,413 --> 00:13:48,034 Madea: CURTIS, THE REASON YOU DON'T HAVE 409 00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:52,034 ANY CLEANED UNIFORM SHIRTS IS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WASH THEM. 410 00:13:52,034 --> 00:13:54,655 NOW, PLEASE GO SOMEWHERE AND TAKE THAT T-SHIRT OFF 411 00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:57,344 AND PUT ON A SHIRT, THEM BAGS OF YOURS HANGING DOWN 412 00:13:57,344 --> 00:13:59,172 LOWER THAN MINE. 413 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,241 Curtis: NO, THEY DON'T HANG LOWER THAN YOURS. 414 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,034 Madea: YOU WANT TO BET? 415 00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:05,827 Curtis: LOOK, FIRST OF ALL, 416 00:14:05,827 --> 00:14:08,137 I AIN'T COOKIN', MAKIN', SEWIN', 417 00:14:08,137 --> 00:14:10,344 AND LAUNDRY-- WHATEVER IT IS 418 00:14:10,344 --> 00:14:13,034 THAT Y'ALL SUPPOSED TO DO AS A WOMAN. 419 00:14:13,034 --> 00:14:15,551 SECOND OF ALL, I'M TIRED OF YOU 420 00:14:15,551 --> 00:14:16,862 BOSSING ME IN MY HOUSE. 421 00:14:16,862 --> 00:14:19,000 YOU HEARD ME? THIS MY HOUSE! 422 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,068 I'M NOT GOIN' TO DO NOTHIN' IN MY HOUSE. 423 00:14:22,068 --> 00:14:23,862 Madea: LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU. 424 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:25,724 I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE. 425 00:14:25,724 --> 00:14:27,344 MAYBE YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE FLORENCE JEFFERSON, 426 00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,344 BUT I DON'T COOK. I DON'T "CLEANT", 427 00:14:29,344 --> 00:14:31,344 I DON'T SEW, AND I DON'T DO NONE OF THEM THINGS. 428 00:14:31,344 --> 00:14:33,000 YOU UNDERSTAND? THAT'S YOUR WORK. 429 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,448 THAT'S WHAT THE HELL YOU GONNA DO, 430 00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,034 'CAUSE I BOUGHT THIS HOUSE. 431 00:14:36,034 --> 00:14:38,034 DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG I WAS ON THAT STRIPPER POLE 432 00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,206 TRYING TO PAY FOR THIS HOUSE BEFORE YOU MOVED IN HERE? 433 00:14:40,206 --> 00:14:41,448 YOU FINNA GET UP THERE 434 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,758 AND DO WHAT THE HELL I TOLD YOU TO DO. 435 00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:44,586 NOW, I'M GONNA TELL YOU ONE MORE TIME. 436 00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:47,413 YOU GOIN' UP IN THAT KITCHEN, AND YOU GONNA COOK, 437 00:14:47,413 --> 00:14:48,758 AND THEN YOU COMIN' UP IN HERE 438 00:14:48,758 --> 00:14:50,448 AND YOU'RE GONNA CLEAN UP. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 439 00:14:50,448 --> 00:14:52,862 Curtis: I AIN'T DOIN' NOTH-- 440 00:14:57,034 --> 00:14:59,448 Madea: LORD, HAVE MERCY. CURTIS, HURRY UP! 441 00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:02,137 I'M "THIRRTY". HURRY UP. 442 00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:06,586 Madea: THANK YOU. 443 00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:09,482 I DON'T TRUST YOU. SMELLS LIKE AMMONIA IN THERE. 444 00:15:09,482 --> 00:15:12,137 Curtis: I PUT THE FOOD ON-- Madea: I'M WATCHING TV. 445 00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:14,241 Curtis: AND TOOK OUT THE TRASH 446 00:15:14,241 --> 00:15:15,689 AND SET AND CLEANED THE TABLE. 447 00:15:15,689 --> 00:15:17,586 Madea: PAY THE BILLS AND BALANCE THE CHECKBOOK? 448 00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:20,103 Curtis: YES, MOTHER DEAREST. 449 00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:22,172 WHERE EVERYBODY GO? WHERE'S EVERYBODY AT? 450 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,034 Madea: I SENT 'EM TO GET SOME ICE CREAM. 451 00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:26,413 Curtis: OH, GOOD! I WANT SOME ICE CREAM. 452 00:15:26,413 --> 00:15:27,586 THEY DIDN'T ASK ME WHAT I WANT-- 453 00:15:27,586 --> 00:15:29,068 Madea: NO, NO. SIT DOWN. 454 00:15:29,068 --> 00:15:30,172 I SENT THEM TO GET ICE CREAM 455 00:15:30,172 --> 00:15:32,310 'CAUSE I WANTED US TO BE ALONE. 456 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,586 Curtis: ALONE-- ALONE LIKE HOW? 457 00:15:38,586 --> 00:15:41,172 IN WHAT FORM? 458 00:15:41,172 --> 00:15:43,068 Madea: ALONE. 459 00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:48,965 Curtis: LIKE THIS? 460 00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:50,344 Madea: HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON, CURTIS? 461 00:15:50,344 --> 00:15:51,586 Curtis: YES, MA'AM. 462 00:15:51,586 --> 00:15:53,586 Madea: YOU WANT THIS NIGHTMARE TO BE OVER? 463 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:55,827 Curtis: LIKE YESTERDAY. 464 00:15:55,827 --> 00:15:58,620 Madea: THERE'S ONE THING MORE YOU HAVE TO DO. 465 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,000 Curtis: WHAT'S THAT? WHAT'S THAT? 466 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,827 Madea: COME ON. 467 00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:04,241 Curtis: HUH? 468 00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:05,724 Madea: COME ON, CURTIS. 469 00:16:05,724 --> 00:16:06,724 Curtis: [ CRIES ] 470 00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:08,241 Madea: COME ON, CURTIS. 471 00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:10,551 COME RUB MY FEET. YOU HEARD ME? 472 00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:12,551 [ LAUGHS ] 473 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:15,896 Curtis: AAH! 474 00:16:18,413 --> 00:16:20,413 C.J.: BIG DOG, YEAH! 475 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,793 Calvin: WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP. 476 00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:22,965 Curtis: COME ON, ALL THAT NOISE. 477 00:16:22,965 --> 00:16:24,379 Y'ALL SEE I'M TAKIN' A NAP? 478 00:16:24,379 --> 00:16:25,931 Calvin: SORRY, POPS, BUT YOU MISSED A GOOD GAME. 479 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:27,241 C.J.: YEAH, MALIK RECOVERED A FUMBLE 480 00:16:27,241 --> 00:16:28,482 AND RAN THAT THING IN FOR A TOUCHDOWN! 481 00:16:28,482 --> 00:16:29,482 Curtis: WHAT? 482 00:16:29,482 --> 00:16:30,896 Malik: I WAS SO SMOOTH. 483 00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:32,586 WHOO! I FAKED TO THE LEFT, 484 00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:34,000 THEN I FAKED TO THE RIGHT. 485 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,172 HEADED STRAIGHT TO THE END ZONE. 486 00:16:35,172 --> 00:16:36,689 Calvin: BIG DOG BROKE FIVE TACKLES. 487 00:16:36,689 --> 00:16:38,689 Malik: THEY WAS COMIN' AFTER ME HARD. 488 00:16:38,689 --> 00:16:40,000 I DIDN'T CARE. I DIDN'T CARE. 489 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,793 I WAS IN THE ZONE. 490 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,896 Curtis: OH, THAT'S MY BOY! 491 00:16:43,896 --> 00:16:45,482 KEEPIN' THE PAYNE NAME. 492 00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,517 HEY, DID YOU TELL 'EM YOU... 493 00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:51,586 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. 494 00:16:51,586 --> 00:16:54,896 THIS IS DEƉJAƁ VU. THIS IS DEƉJAƁ VU. 495 00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:56,172 WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? 496 00:16:56,172 --> 00:16:58,344 C.J.: WELL, HE GOT A PENALTY FOR UNSPOR-- 497 00:16:58,344 --> 00:16:59,896 Curtis: UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT! 498 00:16:59,896 --> 00:17:04,206 YES! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! 499 00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:05,379 I'M NOT DREAMING. 500 00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:07,758 I'M NOT DREAMING NOW. I WAS DREAMING. 501 00:17:07,758 --> 00:17:10,413 C.J.: ARE YOU OKAY? Curtis: I COULDN'T BE BETTER. 502 00:17:10,413 --> 00:17:11,724 BUT GUESS WHAT. 503 00:17:11,724 --> 00:17:13,068 YOU ABOUT TO ASK ME 504 00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:14,931 WHY YOU DON'T SMELL NOTHING IN THE HOUSE, 505 00:17:14,931 --> 00:17:16,413 WHY YOU DON'T SMELL NO COOKING. 506 00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:18,068 C.J.: BUT I DO SMELL FOOD COOKING. 507 00:17:18,068 --> 00:17:19,379 Curtis: YOU DO? 508 00:17:19,379 --> 00:17:20,620 OH, YOU DO! 509 00:17:20,620 --> 00:17:21,620 YES! 510 00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,137 [ LAUGHS ] 511 00:17:27,103 --> 00:17:30,103 Jazmine: I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH UNCLE CURTIS. 512 00:17:30,103 --> 00:17:31,448 C.J.: I THINK SO, TOO, BABY. 513 00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:33,862 MALIK, JAZMINE, LET'S GET READY FOR DINNER. 514 00:17:33,862 --> 00:17:35,793 Calvin: I NEED TO GET READY, TOO. 515 00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:37,379 YEAH, EVERYBODY GET READY FOR DINNER, 516 00:17:37,379 --> 00:17:39,310 'CAUSE WE GONNA EAT TONIGHT, BOY. 517 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,413 ELLA? 518 00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:41,551 ELLA? YOU HEAR ME CALL-- 519 00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:43,000 Ella: CURTIS, STOP THAT YELLING. 520 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,034 Curtis: YES! 521 00:17:44,034 --> 00:17:46,344 OOH! OOH! OOH! [ LAUGHS ] 522 00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:51,896 Ella: WAIT A MINUTE. 523 00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,344 Ella: WHAT IS IT? Curtis: OH, BABY. 524 00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:54,862 Ella: WHAT IS IT? Curtis: I THOUGHT MADEA 525 00:17:54,862 --> 00:17:56,689 WAS GONNA COME THROUGH THE KITCHEN 526 00:17:56,689 --> 00:18:00,620 TEARING THE DOOR DOWN AND MESSING UP THE FRAMES. 527 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,206 Ella: MADEA? 528 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:04,068 Curtis: BABY, I HAD A NIGHTMARE. 529 00:18:04,068 --> 00:18:06,896 MADEA WAS HERE ACTING LIKE SHE WAS MY WIFE OR SOMETHING. 530 00:18:06,896 --> 00:18:09,068 DRIVING ME CRAZY, HAVING ME WASHING DISHES 531 00:18:09,068 --> 00:18:11,931 AND COOKING AND TAKING OUT TRASH. 532 00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:13,413 Ella: YEP, THAT WAS A DREAM, BABY, 533 00:18:13,413 --> 00:18:17,620 'CAUSE I CAN'T GET YOU TO DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS. 534 00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:18,758 Curtis: I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT. 535 00:18:18,758 --> 00:18:20,931 I HAVE TAKEN YOU FOR GRANTED, 536 00:18:20,931 --> 00:18:22,862 AND I KNOW THAT NOW. 537 00:18:22,862 --> 00:18:27,206 YOU ARE A SPECIAL WOMAN, AND YOU ARE A GOOD WIFE. 538 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:29,241 AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT, BABY. 539 00:18:29,241 --> 00:18:30,482 YOU HEARD ME? 540 00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:33,206 C.J., CALVIN-- EVERYBODY, GET IN HERE! 541 00:18:33,206 --> 00:18:35,241 Calvin: WHAT? Curtis: WE'RE GOING TO DINNER. 542 00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:36,482 WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE. 543 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:37,931 Malik: OKAY. 544 00:18:37,931 --> 00:18:39,310 C.J.: WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING? 545 00:18:39,310 --> 00:18:40,517 Curtis: WE'RE CELEBRATING BECAUSE I'M MARRIED 546 00:18:40,517 --> 00:18:42,758 TO THE MOST WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, 547 00:18:42,758 --> 00:18:47,448 FANTABULOUS WOMAN IN THE WIZ-ORLD. 548 00:18:47,448 --> 00:18:49,586 C.J.: I SAY WE GO NOW BEFORE HE CHANGE HIS MIND. 549 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:50,793 Calvin: YEAH, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 550 00:18:50,793 --> 00:18:53,172 Curtis: [ LAUGHS ] WHOO HOO HOO! 551 00:18:53,172 --> 00:18:55,034 Ella: OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 552 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,758 Curtis: [ LAUGHS ] 553 00:18:58,758 --> 00:19:00,931 YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, BABY? Ella: YES, I KNOW. 554 00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:02,482 Curtis: YOU KNOW THAT FOR REAL? Ella: YES, I DO. 555 00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:03,586 Curtis: DO YOU KNOW IT FOR REAL? 556 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:04,896 Ella: YES, I DO. Curtis: FOR REAL? 557 00:19:04,896 --> 00:19:05,965 Ella: LET'S GO, BEFORE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND. 558 00:19:05,965 --> 00:19:07,448 Curtis: BEAT YOU TO THE BUFFET. 40032

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