Original subtitles

Ella: okay, wait.

[ panting ]

Give me some water, baby.

Curtis: what's wrong with

You?

Ella: okay, ooh!

Okay, today --

Today I did three in five.

Curtis: three in five --

What is that?

Ella: three jumping jacks

In five minutes.

Curtis: all right, baby!

Ella: whoo!

Curtis: that's two better

Than you did last week.

Ella: okay.

Curtis: now you can go for

Three and a half.

Ella: hey, babe,

What are you doing?

Curtis: I'm cooking, what's

It look like I'm doing?

Ella: well, curtis, I'm not

Sick, and it's not mother's day

Or my birthday.

Curtis: no, baby, since c.J.

And the kids are gone, they gone

To the beach for a couple of

Days, I thought I'd take a

Couple of days off and make you

My famous chili-pepper omelets

With cajun spices.

Voilà.

[ laughs ]

And then I'm gonna go read the

Newspaper and enjoy

Some peace and quiet.

Calvin: good morning,

Good morning, family.

Ella: hey, baby.

Curtis: it was nice

While it lasted.

Calvin: how's my wonderful --

Whoa.

Whoa, pops, what are you doing?

Curtis: what does it look

Like I'm doing, I'm cooking

For your mother.

Calvin: mom, are you sick?

Ella: no, baby, I'm not sick.

I've been working out.

Calvin: so, is that why

Pops is cooking?

Oh, is that your famous

Chili-pepper omelet?

Curtis: yes, it is.

And, no, get away,

You can't have any.

Calvin: fine, I don't want

Any of your sad,

Little omelet.

I'm going to brunch

With miranda.

Curtis: good, go on to your

Brunch with your little

Veranda -- whatever her name is.

Leave me and your mother alone.

Calvin: it's miranda,

And it means

"Worthy to be admired" in latin.

Curtis: how do you know

What latin is,

And you flunked english?

Calvin: because everybody

Loves a latin lover.

Ella: ohh.

Curtis: been working on that

All night?

[ laughs ]

Ella: sit down, calvin.

So, is this someone -- babe.

Curtis: I know, I'm sorry.

Ella: is this someone

New again?

Calvin: yes, and she is

Amazing.

She's beautiful, she's classy,

And she's an entrepreneur,

Just like me.

Curtis: no, you're full of

Manure.

There's a difference.

Curtis: mmm, and now let

The relaxation --

Calvin: hey, ma.

Curtis: ...Come to

A screeching halt.

Calvin: this is miranda.

Ella: oh, hello.

It's nice to meet you, miranda.

Miranda: oh, mrs. And

Mr. Payne, it is such a pleasure

To meet you -- calvin speaks

So highly of both of you.

Curtis: oh, so good to meet

You, and he talks about you

All the time.

Ella: oh, have a seat.

Miranda: oh, thank you.

Ella: so, miranda --

Miranda: yes.

Ella: calvin tells us that

You're an entrepreneur.

Miranda: yes. Well, you know,

My dad always told me to never

Be afraid of dreaming,

So I guess it sort of stuck.

Curtis: wow, that's a good

Thing your father told you.

Miranda: mm-hmm.

Curtis: I've always told

Calvin, "You should always stay

In school,"

And I guess that stuck, too.

Calvin: [ laughs nervously ]

Ella: so, miranda,

Where did you go to school?

Miranda: well, actually,

I studied abroad.

Curtis: studied abroad.

He studied with a broad, too.

[ laughs ]

Calvin: pop.

[ cellphone rings ]

Miranda: oh, excuse me.

I'm so sorry.

Oh.

Oh, this is my broker.

It's okay, I'll just let it

Go to voicemail.

Calvin: no, no, no, take it.

You might be missing

Some broker stuff.

Take it.

Miranda: you sure?

Calvin: yes.

Miranda: okay, will you

Please excuse me, okay?

I'll just be one moment.

Curtis: no, you take your

Time with your broker.

Miranda: oh, hey, marty.

Am I gonna have to pony up

Some more collateral for this?

Calvin: ooh, listen to her,

Pops, I love it when she talks

That business talk.

Isn't she cute?

Curtis: she is cute!

Hey, you know what I like.

She got two brokers --

A broker and a brokee.

[ laughs ]

Come here, I wanna talk to you.

Come on.

Calvin: pops, it's rude

To leave company without

Saying anything.

Curtis: veranda.

Calvin: miranda.

Curtis: with an "M."

Look here. I'm going -- we about

To go in the kitchen --

Me and calvin.

Calvin: pops,

She's on the phone.

Curtis: I will shut up.

She's on the phone.

Tell him I said hey.

Miranda: okay.

Curtis: who's that you're

Talking to -- that ain't your

Daddy, is it?

Oh, that's the broker.

The broker ain't her daddy.

Come here.

[ laughs ]

Huh-puh!

Aaaaah!

Calvin: pops.

Curtis: that's my boy!

That's my boy.

That's my boy. Look at you.

Where did you meet her at?

Calvin: why?

Curtis: because she's great!

Calvin: ain't she?

Curtis: she's too great.

She's too good for you.

Calvin: no, no, she's just

Right.

Pops...Pops, I think she might

Be the one.

Curtis: good.

Actually, she might be the one

Out your league.

Look, don't you mess this up,

Okay?

Don't you mess this up.

Look at me. Look at me.

Don't you mess this up.

[ stammering ]

Ugh!

Calvin: [ chuckles ]

Curtis: you want it back?

Calvin: yes, what are

You doing?

Curtis: I'm gonna give it

To you right now.

But you mess this up, you ain't

Gonna get it back.

Calvin: pops, when do I mess

Up?

Never mind. Don't answer that.

Curtis: you good?

Calvin: I'm good.

Are you good?

Curtis: I'm good.

Calvin: let's go.

Curtis: get your pimp walk.

Calvin: pimp walk.

Curtis: drop it down.

Calvin: drop it down.

Curtis: drop it down.

Calvin: okay, okay.

Curtis: slow it down.

We are so bad.

Ella: she is smart, curtis.

Curtis: she sure is.

Look at her -- got "Smart"

Written all over her.

Ella: [ laughs ]

Miranda: y'all are too kind.

Oh, you know, calvin,

We probably need to go,

You know, the art gallery's

Closing soon.

Calvin: oh, okay.

Curtis: art gallery?

Miranda: yeah.

They got video games

At the art gallery?

Miranda: [ chuckles ]

No, sir.

Ella: miranda,

How did you get calvin

To go to an art gallery?

Miranda: oh, you know,

I have my ways.

Curtis: oh, you nasty

Little thing.

Miranda: it is not like that,

But it was a pleasure meeting

The two of you.

We're gonna get going.

Curtis: okay.

Ella: yes, yes, yes.

[ laughs ]

Miranda: oh, um, calvin,

Do you mind driving?

I really like a man

That can take charge.

Calvin: oh, yeah,

I can do that.

Curtis: oh, no, he can't

Really take charge --

He don't have no charge -- those

Are my charge cards.

Calvin: hoo hoo hoo!

Pops, did you hear that?

I'm in charge.

Curtis: did you hear that?

She's starting the car.

Calvin: oh! Be breezy.

Curtis: okay, okay.

What is going on now?

Only got a couple of days off,

And I'm trying to relax.

Why do y'all keep

Calling my house?

Angel: chief, what happened

Was there was a fire earlier at

284 cascade.

Curtis: 284 cascade?

Angel: mm-hmm.

Curtis: sounds familiar.

Curtis, it was my house!

Curtis: brown!

I've been delivered from the

Fiery furnace!

Curtis, hold me.

I'm just scared.

Curtis: let me go, brown.

Brown, let --

Curtis! Cora, curtis here!

Hey, mr. Payne.

Curtis: hey, cora.

Cora: how do you do?

Curtis: I'm good,

What happened?

My house just caught on fire!

There was flames everywhere!

Look, brown...

Curtis: brown.

Curtis! Ohh!

Curtis: sit down.

He's weak.

Angel: chief, his house is

Pretty much destroyed.

My house is pretty much

Destroyed.

Bart: yeah, chief,

This poor man said he's got

Nowhere else to go.

I ain't got nowhere else

To go.

What a way to start my visit.

I just got here last night.

Cora, where are we

Gonna stay?

Well, maybe I can call madea.

Maybe she'll let us

Stay at her house.

Curtis: yeah. There you go.

There you go.

She told me she don't

Want me back over there.

Curtis: that's okay, you know

She ain't got no company.

Nobody want to be around her.

Madea, this is cora.

I don't know if you saw

The news or not.

Mr. Brown's house burned down,

And we were wondering if we

Could come stay a couple nights

At your house.

What?

We -- ca--

Okay.

What did she say?

She said, "Mnh-mnh."

Oh, cora,

Where we gonna stay?!

Well, maybe we could stay at

My friend marguerite's house.

Curtis: there you go.

You got marguerite.

Okay, you're gonna stay at

Marguerite's

And just keep me informed.

Let me know how you're doing.

Okay, everything will

Be all right.

And I'm going back home to enjoy

My couple of days off.

Curtis, can I go home

With you?

Thank you.

Marguerite got roaches.

They 'bout this big, and they be

Stealing people's shoes.

Curtis: hey, baby, you know

Brown's house was destroyed

By that fire?

Ella: I know it was.

It probably started

In his closet --

All that polyester he got.

Curtis: [ laughs ]

The two sisters.

Ella: polly and esther.

Isn't that a mess?

Curtis: I feel sorry for

Cora's friend marguerite.

Marguerite or something.

Ella: why?

Curtis: 'cause he's staying

With them now.

Ella: now he gonna blow up

Their house.

Curtis: [ laughs ]

Let's hope not.

Ella: you know everywhere

He is...

[ doorbell rings ]

Curtis: something gonna

Burn up.

Ella: uh-oh. Curtis?

Y'all ain't gonna believe

Marguerite put me out.

Curtis: [ whimpers ]

Just for nothing, she just

Told me to leave and put me out.

Ella: come on in, brown.

[ laughs ]

Brown, if you don't get them

Ugly easter shoes

Off my couch...

Curtis: wait a minute.

She put you out?

Yes, it was awful.

She just started screeching

At me and everything.

Ella: screeching?

That's when you're hollering

Up loud, and I can't understand.

I was scared and everything.

I didn't know what to do.

Thank you.

Thank y'all.

If it wasn't for y'all,

I'd be homeless.

Curtis: don't thank us.

You're still homeless.

Ella: don't mind him, brown.

Now, listen -- tell us

What happened.

She just got mad at me

For no reason.

Ella: what happened?

Well, I-I thought her cat

Wanted to go on the fire escape.

Curtis: what would make you

Think that?

I thought he had to number 3.

Curtis: what is number 3?

I thought he had to do

Everything.

Curtis: so, what happened,

Brown?

There wasn't no fire escape.

I opened up the window, I stuck

The cat out there and let him

Go, and he just kept going.

He went, "Me-e-e-e-e-e-ow!"

[ imitates thud ]

And I thought

They had nine lives.

Maybe that was his last one.

He should have been

Praying better.

I mean, cats pray, too.

Ella: yeah, yeah.

Let's talk in the kitchen.

Oh, no, I'm not hungry.

I don't need nothing to eat.

Ella: I'm not talking to you.

Oh, wait -- if you got some

More of that meat loaf, give me

A piece of that

With some ice water.

Ella: some -- some what?

Ice water -- with ice,

Extra ice.

Ella: ice?

Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

Ella: while I'm in the

Kitchen, I'll fix you

Some ice water.

Curtis, I like it here.

Thank you for letting me stay.

Curtis: look, brown --

Ella: curtis, curtis, curtis!

Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen!

I'm just gonna -- I'm --

Curtis: shut up, don't you

Say nothing.

Calvin: you bought me enough.

Now I want to do something

Really special for your

Birthday.

Miranda: but you do not have

To do that.

I actually enjoy doing things

For you.

Calvin: well, I really

Appreciate it.

But I have a lot of extra money

From my refund check because

I dropped a class, and this is

What I want to do with it.

Miranda: but I do not want

You wasting money on some

Expensive gift for me.

Calvin: well, well then,

How about a little something

For your ear?

Miranda: mmm.

Calvin: or something for your

Lovely neck.

Miranda: ohh.

Okay. I have it.

This is what we're gonna do.

Why don't you invest

In the art gallery with me?

You can put your money with

Mine, and then when we sell it,

We're gonna turn a nice profit.

Calvin: a profit?

Oh, I'm all into profits.

Miranda: really?

Calvin: yeah.

Miranda: ooh.

Ooh! Ooh!

Y'all better stop that or y'all

Are gonna get pregnant from

Kissing.

Whoo!

Calvin: brown, what are you

Doing here, and why did you just

Come from my parents' bedroom?

And why do you have on

My dad's robe?

Uh, I have to take off my

Clothes when I use the bathroom,

And -- whew! -- I just, whoa,

I'm so tired, I didn't feel like

Putting -- I'm exhausted --

I just didn't feel like

Putting everything back on.

Calvin: is my mom in there?

Is your -- no, your mom --

Boy, your mama don't do that

Kind of stuff no more.

Now, when she was

Back in the day --

Ella: shut up.

Oh.

Ella: so, how was

The art gallery?

Calvin: it was very

Profitable.

Curtis: ella,

He got on my bathrobe.

Ella: brown...

Curtis: why do you have my

Bathrobe on, brown?

Wait a minute.

Ella: careful.

Curtis.

Ella: curtis!

Curtis!

Ella: that ain't -- curtis!

Wait a minute, you gonna

Hurt my boots.

Ella: ooh! Lord.

You show her my things.

Ella: wait.

Curtis: brown, would you mind

Getting out my chair, please?

Is that what you

Wanted me to do?

Curtis: get the hell out my

Chair!

You know, you shouldn't

Cuss in your house.

He cussed.

Ella: brown, listen, baby.

We discussed it.

You're disgusted with curtis?

I know. He makes me mad, too,

But I love him, and the lord

Says love him

With all your heart.

Ella: well, we talked about

It in the kitchen, and -- and

We've decided to let you stay.

Curtis: you decided.

Thank you, lord.

Look at the lord make a way out

Of no w-- there wasn't no way,

And he made a way.

Curtis: he made a way

For a limited time.

I ain't gonna stay here long.

Three to four to five or six

Or -- I'm not gonna be here no

Longer than seven months.

By the time we get to eighth

Month, it's gonna be a new

Beginning,

And I'm gonna begin anew.

Miranda: ohh. Well, I think

That's time for me to go.

You his girlfriend?

Ooh, your teeth so pretty.

Ooh, I like them.

I ought to try to sneak up

With them teeth.

Bart: hey, chief, would you

Look at this over here

For a second?

Curtis: get away from me

Before I kill you.

Now, why do you all keep

Calling my phone?

Bart: we got a little

Problem, chief.

Hey, curtis.

Look, I made myself

An honorary fire chief.

I hope you didn't mind.

I borrowed one of your uniforms.

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have

Like, a belt or some rope

Or something, this is big.

Curtis: what the hell?!

Angel: [ chuckles ]

Chief, you two could

Almost be twins.

Curtis: [ sarcastic chuckle ]

And you could almost be fired.

Okay, everybody, sit down.

I decided this morning I'm gonna

Make y'all some big breakfast

For trying to help me save my

House, even though y'all didn't.

What I'm gonna make y'all today

Is my world-famous

"That'll do" omelet.

Keenan: that'll do?

Yeah, "That'll do" omelet.

Anything you put in it,

It'll do.

You can just find stuff

And put it in your omelet.

Angel: jelly beans?

Yes. We was poor.

You just would put stuff

In your omelet.

Okay, it's a special way

You make it.

Take your egg, and you just --

People like to do their eggs

Like this, real pretty.

Mnh-mnh. I just slam mine

In there like that.

Then what you do is take you

A little bit of cheese, take you

Some jelly beans, take a little

Something -- whatever you want

To put in there, you just put

In there, you just --

And it's the way you stir it.

You can -- and that's what you

Do when you make -- you get it

All like that, and then you

Just -- poof! -- sprinkle it in.

Cora, you're just in time

For breakfast!

Cora likes breakfast.

Keenan: uh-huh.

And lunch.

Keenan: uh-huh.

And dinner. And snacks.

Brown, I stopped by

The house, ella told me --

What in the world

Do you have on?

Curtis gave me this.

Curtis: did not.

Yes, you did.

I look like a real firefighter,

Don't I, cora?

Curtis, next time y'all go on

A fire, can I go?

Curtis: that will never

Happen.

I went by the house this

Morning, and there was a lot

Of -- a lot of water damage,

And I'm afraid

Most of my things were lost.

Oh, no, cora.

Yes, I know.

Cora, really?

Yes, but I know

It wasn't your fault.

Oh, cora, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Angel: it kind of was.

Mr. Brown, what was your outdoor

Grill doing in your living room?

In the living room?

Angel: in the living room.

How you like yours, angel?

You want some more cheese?

Keenan: no, no, no, no, no.

Never mind about breakfast.

Here. Have a seat.

You sure?

Keenan: oh, I'm sure.

Well, if y'all don't want me

To cook y'all breakfast,

What else can I do?

I want to thank y'all.

I got it.

Y'all got "A chaperone?"

Curtis: what the hell are you

Talking about, brown?

Them peoples pray for y'all.

Y'all need to be praying for

Them fires.

Them fires is dangerous.

I tell you what -- everybody,

Gather hands.

Gather hands and hold hands

Right now.

Just bow your heads.

Curtis, bow your head.

Bow your head deep.

Bow your head way deep.

Bow deeper. Deep. Shh. Shh.

Everybody just rock it.

[ humming ]

All: [ humming ]

Curtis: baby, ella,

Are you sure brown's not here?

Ella: I'm sure, curtis.

Curtis: and he's not

Coming back?

Ella: curtis, no.

He and cora went downtown

To the insurance office.

Curtis: good.

That's all I want to know.

Ohh.

And it is time for a cool and

Refreshing beverage.

And now we return to our

Regularly scheduled program,

Which is already in progress.

Calvin: [ crying ] It's gone,

Pops, it's all gone.

It's gone.

Curtis: get off me.

Ella: calvin, curtis,

What's gone?

What's gone, baby?

Calvin: I don't want to talk

About it, it's too awful.

Curtis: well, good,

Then be quiet

So I can watch the tv.

Ella: curtis,

Turn this tv off.

Curtis: ella!

Ella: now, now, now.

Okay, now, baby, wait a minute.

What happened?

Calvin: she robbed me, mama.

Ella: miranda?

Calvin: yeah. Yeah.

She cleared out my bank account,

And she took cash advances from

All my credit cards.

[ sobbing ]

Curtis: you mean she took

My money...

From my charge cards?

Ella: curtis...

Calvin: uh-huh. Yeah.

Curtis: why the hell are you

Crying? She robbed me!

Ella: okay.

Okay, baby, what happened?

Calvin: [ sniffles ]

Curtis: spit it out!

Calvin: ow. Ow. Ohh. Mama.

You ain't gonna hit me no more

If I tell you -- promise?

Curtis: I'm not gonna hit

You.

Calvin: okay, okay.

I kind of gave her all my

Financial information.

Curtis: you f-f-fool!

Calvin: don't hit me.

Curtis: you've been conned.

Ella: hey, curtis,

Wait a minute, calm down.

He feels bad enough.

Curtis: not bad enough

For me!

Calvin: please don't hit me,

Okay, okay.

Ella: curtis,

You cannot whip him!

He is a grown man!

Calvin: I'm grown. I'm grown.

Curtis: you right.

Ella: okay, curtis.

Curtis: [ grunts ]

Ella: curtis!

Hey, y'all, I just --

Is this a bad time?

I need to come back?

Or are you vacuuming?

Ella: brown, I made you

A to-go plate.

Oh, thank you.

That's so nice.

Ella: now go!

I can eat it here if y'all --

Ella: no, no, no.

Curtis: it's a to-go plate.

Thank y'all so much.

Ella: you are welcome.

You know, y'all been

So good to me.

Ella: no, no, no, brown,

Remember -- our house...Is...

Our house.

And you can stay...

At that hotel.

You've been better to me than

I've been to myself.

If I had 10,000 tongues,

I couldn't tell it all.

Ella: all right.

You know what?

My auntie used to tell me,

"Take the lord with you

Everywhere you go,

And if you can't take the lord?"

Ella: okay?

"Can't go."

Curtis: then don't go, then.

And then my friend,

My cousin -- before he got

Put in jail, he used to say,

"He who lives by the sword

Shall be stucketh."

Oh, that's too deep for you.

Curtis: where they gonna

Stick you?

[ laughs ]

Wait. You know,

The lord is so good to us.

The bible speaks of prayer.

Do you want to pray?

Curtis: yes, I will. I will.

God, right now

We want to thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Curtis: we thank you because

We know that by your mighty

Hand...

By your mighty hand.

Curtis: ...Somebody's about

To get out, and we want to thank

You for the getting of the out.

Right now we ask that

He get out...

Get out!

Curtis: ...Without question.

Yes. Thank you.

Curtis: in your name...

Amen.

Curtis: ...Amen.

Uh, wait --

Curtis: finally!

Ella: curtis,

That was not nice.

Curtis: whatever.

Finally, peace and quiet.

Ella: whoo!

* hallelujah *

I know there was something

I forgot to tell y'all!

Ella: quickly, quickly.

Just slipped my mind.

Ella: quickly.

That check ain't gonna be

Ready for another 10 days --

The insurance check.

Cora called me and told me

Before I left, and I done

Forgot!

Fix me a to-stay plate

In case I get hungry after

The to-go plate.