Original subtitles

Malik: oh, dad, um -- can I

Stay after school today?

C.J.: for what?

Malik: um...

To join the chess club.

Curtis: you nerd.

Ella: curtis, playing chess

Does not mean you are a nerd.

It's actually a sign of

Intelligence.

Come on, baby.

C.J.: yeah, I was in the

Chess club.

Curtis: I rest my case.

Malik: did I say chess club?

I meant...

Football.

Trying out for football.

Curtis: are you sure it's

Football?

'cause everybody know you can't

Catch.

Malik: yes, it's football.

So, can I?

C.J.: okay, but come right

Home after school, all right?

Aunt ella, can you go get jazi

From school?

Jazmine: no, I can walk home

By myself.

C.J.: I know you can, baby,

But I don't want you to.

Ella: well, I'm supposed to

Help claretha at the retirement

Home, but I guess I can take

Jazi with me.

Curtis: hey, you're trying

Out for football -- what

Position are you going for?

Malik: um, trying out for

Forward.

Swish!

Curtis: that's basketball,

You genius.

Malik: oh, I mean, I'm trying

Out for goalie.

C.J.: that's soccer, son.

Malik: oh.

Curtis: do you know anything

About sports?

Malik: a little.

Curtis: okay, look, with your

Size, you need to try out for

Defensive tackle.

That's what your uncle was.

Huh! Forward position.

Uh! Uh! Uh!

You got to know -- that's when

They knock you down, take your

Helmet, pop your helmet off your

Head, rough you up a little bit.

Ella: curtis.

Malik: looks and feels

Painful.

Curtis: it is.

And that's just in the locker

Room. Huh! Wuh!

Jazmine: [ laughs ]

Cool.

Malik's gonna get hurt.

[ laughs ]

What?

I meant that in a good way.

But if malik doesget hurt, can

We get a dog?

[ laughs ]

[ laughs ] Swish!

Swish!

Bart: oh, wait, I think I

Hear someone coming.

Calvin: I wonder who it could

Be.

Bart: it could be a delivery

Person.

No, wait, wait.

I think it is a mailman.

No, no, no.

It's the poodle lady with a

Check.

Curtis: bart, would you

Curtis: bart, would you Please stop, please?

Please stop, please?

Bart: well, hello.

How may I help you, young lady?

Jasmine: hi, my name is

Jasmine, and I'm selling candy

For my school's track team.

Would you like to buy --

Bart: how much?

Jasmine: uh...$2 a bar.

Bart: $2?

Give me five.

Come right here.

Wait there.

C.J.: hey, bart, who's your

Friend?

Bart: c.J., this is jasmine.

And she has candy.

C.J.: jasmine?

I have a daughter named jasmine.

Bart: everybody, you're gonna

Buy some candy from jasmine,

Aren't you, now?

Keenan, come down here.

Yeah, get some candy from her.

Here you go, dear.

Keenan: bart, this is not

Jazmine.

C.J.: keenan, there's other

Girls named "Jazmine" other than

Jazmine.

Angel: so, how much for the

Candy?

Jasmine: $2 a bar.

Angel: I'll take five.

Thank you.

C.J.: what's up, unc?

You're not gonna buy any?

Curtis: no, I'm watching my

Figure.

Calvin: turn into a figure

Eight.

Angel: cheap.

Barrato.

Bart: barrato.

Curtis: now I got one.

Jasmine: wow! I'm all sold

Out.

My track coach is gonna be so

Happy.

C.J.: [ laughing ] Oh, you

Run track?

Jasmine: yeah.

C.J.: I remember when I ran.

What events do you run?

Jasmine: um, the 440 and 880

Relays.

C.J.: I ran those, too!

Oh, man.

I remember when I ran.

I was the third man.

I remember one time -- me and my

Boy quick -- we called him

"Quick" 'cause he was quick.

He ran anchor.

Man, we had to run against these

Really fast guys, and they --

Yeah?

Jasmine: as much I would love

To take a jog with you down

Memory lane, I got to go.

My mom's waiting in the car.

C.J.: oh, my bad.

[ laughs ] Okay. All right.

Uh, good luck with your

Fund-raiser.

That's a cute kid.

She real cute, right?

Bart: what?

What, I got something on my

Face?

Keenan: yeah, chocolate and a

Stupid grin.

Bart: okay, is it gone?

Angel: yeah, you got the

Chocolate.

Curtis: you're gonna have to

Rub a lot harder to get the

Rub a lot harder to get the Stupid off.

Stupid off.

Jalen: yo, malik, I thought

You and kevin were a couple of

Lames.

Shane: yeah, but you guys are

Okay.

It's cool you let us come here

And smoke.

Malik: yep, that's me. Cool.

Kevin: so, how long you guys

Been smoking?

Shane: since the 7th grade.

Malik: I thought you were in

The 7th grade now?

Shane: no, no, I'm talking

About the first time.

Jalen: yo, malik, go get us

Some air freshener.

Malik: oh, my bad.

That's just my feet.

Jalen: we don't need it for

Your feet.

When you smoke, you need air

Freshener.

Kevin: just go.

Malik: shh!

Y'all hear that?

Kevin: man, I don't hear

Nothing.

Malik: no, I'm serious.

Did y'all hear that?

Man, this fool is tripping.

We ain't even high yet, and he

Paranoid.

Kevin: [ scoffs ]

Malik, malik, look, this is our

Chance to hang with the cool

Guys, and you're making us look

Bad.

I don't want them to put me in

My locker again.

Now, act like you got some sense

And get high.

Malik: but I did hear

Something.

Kevin: no, you did not.

Jazmine: boo!

Ella: [ laughs ]

Hi, kevin.

Kevin: hi, mrs. Payne.

Malik: auntie ella, you're

Home.

Ella: yes, malik!

Miss claretha didn't need my

Help, so I'm home.

Malik: oh, well, I'm glad to

See you.

Love you.

Ella: glad to see you, too,

Malik.

So, you gonna introduce me to

Your friends?

Malik: oh. Okay.

Uh, this is -- this is shayler,

And this is jane.

Ella: jane?

Malik: no. No.

I mean this is jalen, and this

Is shane.

This is my auntie -- mrs. Payne.

They're 'round.

Jalen: hello, ma'am.

Shane: nice to meet you.

Jazmine: [ clears throat ]

Malik: and this is nobody.

Kevin: yeah, that's no one.

Jazmine: excuse me.

I'm jazmine, his sister.

Jalen: how you doing?

Ella: malik, am I to assume

You guys are here to do a

Homework project or something?

Kevin: yeah.

Shane: yeah.

Malik: a homework project.

How -- how'd you know?

Ella: just a wild guess.

Let me get you guys some snacks.

Shane: yeah. Yeah. Snacks.

W-we'll need them for later.

Ella: jazmine!

Jazmine: uh, coming, auntie.

Something's not right.

But, trust me, I willfigure it

Out.

Jalen: I thought you said

Nobody was home.

Shane: and now she thinks

We're doing homework.

This sucks.

Ella: here, boys.

What about some cookies?

Here are some snacks.

Energy for your homework.

Together: thank you,

Mrs. Payne.

Malik: I mean, uh, thank you,

Auntie. Thank you.

Ella: malik, what is wrong

With you?

You're welcome.

All righty.

Jazmine!

Jazmine: uh, coming, auntie.

I'm watching y'all.

Jalen: man, your little

Sister's like a canine drug dog

Sniffing around.

Shane: I knew we should have

Gone to my house.

Come on. Let's go.

Jalen: yo, malik, what's up?

Come on.

Malik: um, I think I'm gonna

Pass on this one.

Um, right, kevin?

Kevin: yeah.

Um, you know I was going --

W-we're gonna have to pass.

Jalen: see, I knew you guys

Was a bunch of lames.

Shane: we out.

Malik: at least we're going

To the 8th grade next year.

Kevin: yeah. The 8th grade.

Kevin: man, since we didn't

Get high, they're never gonna

Hang with us again.

And there's no way we're getting

Invited to shane's birthday

Party.

There was gonna be 9th-grade

Girls there!

Malik: I'm not mad we didn't

Get high, but I really wanted to

Go to that party.

I mean, there got to be some

Other way we could show them

We're cool.

Kevin: hey, we could do their

Homework.

They only have 3rd-grade math.

How hard could that be?

Malik: they're a little slow,

Maybe 'cause they're always so

High.

C.J.: hi.

Kevin: hi!

Malik: hi!

Kevin: hi.

Curtis: hi.

Kevin: hi!

Curtis: hi.

Kevin: hi.

Curtis: okay, look, now

We got that out the way, how was

Practice?

Malik: um, what practice?

Curtis: football practice.

Kevin, you try out, too?

Kevin: huh?

C.J.: what's wrong with you

Two?

Both: what?

C.J.: you all high or

Something?

Both: high?

Malik: high?

Why would you say that?

Did you know marijuana causes

Anxiety, paranoia, increased

Eating habits.

C.J.: malik.

Malik: sorry. I looked it up.

Curtis: boy, did you try out

For the football team or not?

Malik: um, n-no.

We forgot.

Curtis: forgot?

Did janine take her prenatal

Vitamins while she was carrying

Malik?

Ella: I thought I heard you

Two.

How was work?

Curtis: the same.

They don't work, I yell, and

They still don't work.

Ella: c.J., did malik tell

You I met two of his friends

Today?

Jazmine: oh, yeah!

Jalen and shane.

C.J.: do I know them?

Jazmine: no.

He just met them.

C.J.: thank you, jazi.

What were they doing here?

You know you can't have company

After school.

Kevin: oh, I hear my mom.

Yeah, she's calling me.

C.J.: don't you live 10

Blocks away?

Kevin: her voice carries.

See ya.

Curtis: you better stop

Running in my house!

Stop running!

Ella: c.J., he claims that

They were here to do a homework

Project, but I have not seen one

Book.

Come on, baby.

Let's wash up for dinner.

Curtis: yes!

See, you need you a woman like

Your aunt.

She know how to lovea man.

Love.

Ella: jazmine!

Ella: jazmine! Jazmine: uh, coming, auntie.

Jazmine: uh, coming, auntie.

C.J.: so, who are these guys?

Malik: um, just some dudes me

And kevin know.

C.J.: we both know y'all

Wasn't doing homework, so what

Were y'all doing?

Malik: just chilling.

C.J.: chilling?

Son, you know you can talk to

Me, man.

Malik: yeah. I know.

C.J.: all right.

I'm gonna let this go for now,

But we're not done.

Malik: thanks, dad.

Curtis: what? That's it?!

That's all you're gonna do?!

Hell, no!

Jazmine: yeah!

What uncle curtis say!

Bart: uh-huh.

I think I hear someone coming to

The door again!

Angel: bart, why do you get

So excited when someone comes to

The door?

Bart: because, angel, it's

Like a box of chocolates.

You never know what you're gonna

Get.

[ giggles ]

Oh, and it's jasmine, the candy

Girl.

I love candy bars.

Peanut-butter candy bars,

Caramel candy bars, praline

Candy bars, nougat candy bars,

Almond candy bars.

Jasmine: you're scaring me.

Is there anybody else I can talk

To?

Bart: well, when it comes to

Candy, I'm your man.

Jasmine: here. It's on the

House, candy man.

Bart: whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

You see, angel?

I'm a winner -- a winner!

C.J.: hey, the track runner's

Back. Came back for some

Track tips, huh?

Well, actually...

C.J.: what you got to do is,

When you're down in the blocks,

You want to keep your butt high.

You want to keep your head low.

You come up slow.

When you come up, you got to

Pace yourself.

You're pacing yourself.

When it's time to pass the

Baton, you got to reach back.

You want to reach back so that

When they say --

Jasmine: I think you're my

Jasmine: I think you're my Father.

Father.

C.J.: I had this awful dream

That this little girl showed up

And she looked just like

Jazmine, and she -- she said

That I was her father.

Uhh!

Did you say what I thought you

Said?

Jasmine: well, yeah.

I said I think you're my father.

C.J.: why would you say that?

Jasmine: well, my mother said

You're my father.

C.J.: where's your mother?

Jasmine: in the car.

C.J.: well, go get her.

Keenan: well, she looks a lot

Like jazmine.

Everyone agree, say aye.

Together: aye!

Keenan: she's similar

Complexion, say aye.

Together: aye!

Angel: similar hair texture.

Together: aye!

Calvin: likes track.

Together: aye!

Bart: has two eyes.

C.J.: bart!

Bart: aye.

C.J.: carmen?

Keenan: uh-oh. He knows her.

The ayes have it.

Carmen: hey, c.J.

It's been a while.

C.J.: obviously.

Carmen: jasmine, will you go

Wait in the car while I talk to

Your father?

C.J.: [ sighs ]

I'm not her father.

Carmen: I know it's hard to

Believe, but, yes, you are.

C.J.: how?

Bart: c.J., even I know how.

C.J.: bart! Don't y'all have

Something to do?

Carmen: c.J., do you remember

That time when...

Bart: ♪ when we ♪

Calvin: ♪ when we ♪

Both: ♪ when we ♪

Carmen: when you and janine

Broke up for about three weeks

During our senior year?

C.J.: y-yeah.

Carmen: and do you remember

What we did for those three

Weeks?

Bart: ♪ 21 days ♪

Together: ♪ magic ♪

C.J.: cut it out!

Carmen: c.J., I don't want

Anything.

Calvin: praise the lord!

Carmen: I've been raising

Jasmine without you.

Angel: you go, sister.

Carmen: but she's been asking

About her father.

Keenan: well?

Carmen: so I thought it was

Time the two of you met.

Bart: amen.

C.J.: and you thought

Blindsiding me was the best way

To do it?

And what's up with her name?

Carmen: well, you always said

If you ever had a daughter, you

Would name her "Jasmine."

Together: damn.

C.J.: will you cut it out?!

Carmen: what?

Calvin: he already has a

Daughter named jazmine.

Angel: mm-hmm, and a son

Named malik.

Bart: yeah.

He and janine got married, then

She did crack, and his life

Pretty much cracked up.

Keenan: it's a long story.

C.J.: will y'all be quiet?

Listen, carmen, can we go

Someplace else and talk?

Someplace else and talk? Carmen: of course.

Carmen: of course.

Ella: okay, baby, come on.

Flip that timer.

Flip the timer, baby!

Drop the letters!

Curtis: will you wait?!

I got to do it.

It's got to be right.

Come on.

Ella: you're so spoiled.

Curtis: be quiet.

Ella: okay?

Curtis: okay.

Ella: move your hand.

Curtis: okay, ready?

Go now.

Ella: ooh!

G-l-a-u-r--

Curtis: okay. Okay, stop.

Ella: no, no, no.

Curtis: stop!

Ella: d-o-g.

Curtis: time-out!

Ella: unh-unh! Curtis!

What are you doing?

Curtis: what are you doing?

There ain't no words there.

Ella: there are plenty words

Down here.

Curtis: not no more.

Ella: okay.

Curtis: make all the words

You want.

Hey, c.J.!

I'm over here beating your aunt

Again.

Ella: ha!

C.J.: hey, uncle c., auntie.

Ella: hey, baby.

C.J.: where the kids?

Ella: jazmine is over to

Claretha's, helping her brush

Her wigs out.

She said malik had to stay after

School again.

C.J.: what?

I told that boy he couldn't stay

After school.

What is wrong with that boy?

Curtis: so, who are the

Lovely ladies?

C.J.: oh.

Curtis: come on.

C.J.: oh.

This is carmen, an old friend

From high school, and her

Daughter jasmine.

Ella: hi!

Nice to meet you.

Carmen: nice to meet you.

Curtis: got another jazmine.

Carmen: yep.

C.J. Has two daughters with the

Same name.

Ella: huh?

C.J.: that's why they're

Here. According to carmen...

I'm jasmine's father.

Both: huh?

Curtis: whoo!

My knees -- my knees --

My knees is weak.

My knees is weak, ella.

Ella: okay. Okay.

Curtis: uh, c.J., c-can I

Talk to you for a minute alone,

Please?

[ chuckles nervously ]

Ella: [ chuckles nervously ]

Curtis: two of them.

Ella: jasmine. Carmen.

Would you care for something to

Drink?

An aspirin? A mild sedative?

Carmen: I'll take some water.

Ella: okay.

And I'll take that mild

Sedative.

Ohh!

Okay. Okay.

Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait.

Honey, wait, wait, wait, wait.

What -- what are you taking?

What are you taking?

Curtis: my high blood

Pressure pills.

Ella: oh, no, no, honey.

This is pms medicine.

This is mine.

Curtis: well, they ain't

Working, 'cause I'm still pissed

Off!

Ella: curtis!

Ella: curtis! Curtis: uhh! Ugh!

Curtis: uhh! Ugh!

Curtis: uhh! Ugh! You said you two had what?

You said you two had what?

Ella: and so she got...

C.J.: yes, ma'am.

Curtis: and then you got

What?

C.J.: another kid.

Curtis: uhh!

I got two words for you.

They are not moving in this

House, you hear me?!

Ella: right.

C.J.: that's more than two

Words.

Curtis: I'm gonna kill him.

I'm gonna kill him right here.

Ugh! Ugh!

Ugh!

Paternity test!

C.J.: well, she does kind of

Have my eyes.

Curtis: no!

Shut up! No!

She don't have your eyes!

Shut up, c.J.!

You've got two kids, boy!

You in eternal debt!

Huh?!

You already -- you're in the

Middle of a divorce!

What are you doing, man?

You...

You're taking a paternity test.

You hear me?

Huh?! Huh?!

Huh?! Huh?! Ella: wait. Okay.

Ella: wait. Okay.

C.J.: carmen!

Can I talk to you for a second,

Please?

Curtis: get in here!

Carmen: what's going on?

C.J.: have a seat.

I was talking to my uncle, and

He thinks that we should get a

Paternity test.

Carmen: so, you don't believe

Me?

Ella: ha!

No.

C.J.: it's not that I don't

Believe you.

It's just that we should be

Absolutely sure.

Carmen: I understand.

We'll just go to the --

Curtis: domino!

C.J.: a home paternity test?

Curtis: yes, sir.

You take that, you swab

Yourself, you swab the kid, put

It in an envelope, lick the

Envelope, send it off.

Three to five days later,

You are not the father!

Ella: curtis...

Why do you have that?

Curtis: I knew one day,

Between you and calvin --

One day they would

Come in handy.

That's why I got them.

And I also got two pregnancy

Tests, and I got a blood-alcohol

Test-counter thingy, and I got a

Polygraph machine of which I'm

Polygraph machine of which I'm Hooking you up tonight!

Hooking you up tonight!

Problem?

C.J.: no, sir.

C.J.: no, sir. Curtis: I didn't think so!

Curtis: I didn't think so!

Ella: I can't believe this.

It's almost 6:00, and malik is

Not home yet.

Curtis: well, he know better.

Ella: hey.

C.J.: hey.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hello?

Yeah, this is malik payne's

Father.

They did what?!

Okay. Thank you.

I'll be right there.

Ella: what?

C.J.: can you watch jazmine

For me?

Curtis: which one?

C.J.: ha!

This is serious, unc.

Malik and kevin tried to steal

Walkie-talkies from radio world.

I got to go pick them up.

Ella: what?!

C.J.!

Curtis: walkie-talkies?

Why didn't he steal a car?

He out there with

Walkie-talkies.