Original subtitles

Jazmine: come on, malik!

Hurry up!

Ella: jazmine, stop yelling.

Jazmine: malik is taking

Forever in the shower again.

It don't take people that long

To get clean.

Ella: malik!

Are you okay?

Curtis: come on, what's all

That racket, baby?

I was having a good dream.

I was at the part where halle

Was feeding me berries.

Ella: malik is taking another

Marathon shower again.

C.J.: uh-oh, it's starting!

[ men laugh ]

Ella: what?

Curtis: nothing, baby,

Nothing.

Ella: jazi, if you need to

Use the bathroom, go just use

Ours.

Malik!

C.J., you need to do something.

Lately malik has been taking so

Many showers, I think he's just

Gonna wash the black off

Himself.

C.J.: he's fine, aunt ella.

Really, trust me.

Ella: no, he's not.

No, he's not.

Something is going on.

A month ago, curtis, getting

Malik to bathe was like getting

Calvin to graduate.

Curtis: [ laughs ]

Ella: malik!

Hurry up!

Calvin: hey, family.

Curtis: hey, it's too early

To be mooching.

Calvin: I'm not mooching.

But if I was, can I get some

Milk?

2%?

When y'all start drinking

Healthy?

Curtis: who put that in

There?

Calvin: wait a minute.

What's going on?

Y'all having a family meeting

Without me?

Oh, it's like that, huh?

Ella: no, baby, we're not

Having a family meeting.

We're waiting on malik to get

Out of the bathroom!

Calvin: what's he doing in

There?

C.J.: you know.

Calvin: huh?

Curtis: you know, the...

In the shower.

Calvin: oh!

Oh, wow.

[ laughs ]

All right.

Be breezy!

Ella: ma-lee-ee-ee-ee-ka!

Curtis: hey, you speaking in

Tongues? Call him in tongues.

I don't think malik can

Interpret, though.

Ella: [ sighs ]

I'm going in there.

C.J.: no, don't do that!

C.J.: no, don't do that! Ella: what?

Ella: what?

Malik: hey, everybody.

Today is just a great day, isn't

It?

C.J.: that depends.

Did you wash your hands?

Ella: malik, you are spending

Way too much time in that

Shower.

Jazmine: yeah, waytoo long.

Ella: honey, you've got to be

Considerate of others.

Jazmine: yeah, more

Considerate.

Ella: so, when you go in the

Bathroom, just do what you got

To do and get out quickly.

Jazmine: yeah, get out!

Ella: I don't need your help,

Little girl.

Jazmine: yeah, and she

Doesn't need your help,

Little...

Oh.

Curtis: jazmine, go get ready

For school, baby.

Ella: mm-hmm.

Okay, malik, what are you doing

In that bathroom anyway?

Curtis: don't tell, boy!

Don't tell!

Share it with yourself, like you

Been doing.

Malik: but I'm getting clean.

You was the one who said, "Take

Pride in your hygiene so you

Feel good about yourself."

And I feel great!

C.J.: it's perfectly natural

For a boy his age to be...

Clean.

Ella: okay, okay, what is it

With you two?

C.J.: we just having some

Good, clean fun, that's all.

Curtis: malik, all clean.

C.J.: malik, go get ready for

School.

Ella: no, no, no.

I want an answer.

Curtis: ella, ella, please.

Trust me, you don't want to

Know, okay?

Now, the boy's clean, leave it

At that.

Go, son.

Thou cleaneth son.

Hey, hold on.

A little hand sanitizer.

You might want to keep that with

You.

Pick you up some on the way to

The store.

Late for school.

There you go!

Claretha: good morning!

Ella: good morning.

Claretha: ugh, I was hoping

You were at work.

Curtis: and I was hoping you

Had work done on your face.

Claretha: whatever.

Anyway, ella, I need some bug

Spray. I have a pest problem.

Curtis: oh, that's funny.

So do we.

But as soon as you leave, our

Problem will be gone.

Ella: it's right there, baby.

You'll -- you got it.

Curtis: hey, could you spray

Yourself while you're at it?

C.J.: miss claretha, I can

Come over to our house and spray

It for you if you want me to.

Claretha: oh, thank you, c.J.

Curtis: no, he won't.

He ain't going nowhere.

We got the inspection at the

Firehouse today.

The last thing we need is for

You to be bringing her

Creepy-crawly relatives back

With you.

Claretha: curtis, the only

Creepy-crawly thing I know is

You.

Now, hold still.

Curtis: get away from me,

Claretha.

Do you know something?

The closer you get to me,

The worse you smell.

Claretha: uh-huh.

Curtis: whoo!

Did she spray me?

Tell me she didn't spray me.

Get out of here, claretha!

Will you get your friend,

Will you get your friend, Please?

Please?

C.J.: okay, guys, we only got

A few hours left before the

Inspection, so let's get going.

Keenan, you go the kitchen.

Keenan: fine with me.

I would rather clean a soup bowl

Than a toilet bowl any day.

C.J.: bart, you got the

Fire truck.

Bart: yeah! I'm gonna wax her

Bumpers and blow her horn,

Chief! Honk! Honk!

Curtis: man, there is

Something wrong with you, bart.

Just clean her!

C.J.: angel, you got the

Bathroom.

Angel: unh-unh.

I don't do toilets.

Tu estas bien malito si crees

Que yo voy a limpiar los

Toilets.

C.J.: okay, okay.

Okay, you can do the floors and

The walls.

Angel: that's what I thought.

C.J.: I'll do everything

Else...Except the bathroom.

Uncle curtis?

Bart: he's the chief.

He doesn't have to clean.

Curtis: thank you, bart.

C.J.: you don't have to worry

About him, okay?

Me and him got a little bet

Going on.

Angel: what's the bet?

C.J.: you'll see.

Hey, speaking of bathrooms,

Malik just found out the secret

To getting clean.

Curtis: don't bust him out

Like that.

Keenan: oh, really?

Man, I remember when I first

Discovered the secret to getting

Clean.

Bart: what's the secret to

Getting clean?

Calvin: you know -- long, hot

Showers, locked doors, all

Alone.

Angel: you mean those special

Moments you have when your

Boyfriend's always out of town

On long business trips and all

You have is the phone, but you

Got to make it quick 'cause

Calls to puerto rico are $2 a

Minute?

[ laughter, hooting ]

Bart: I get it now.

Wait, wait, I still don't get

It.

C.J.: I told you!

I told you that angel was gonna

Get it before bart did.

You lost, now you got to clean

The bathroom.

Curtis: damn that!

I ain't cleaning no bathroom!

And besides, it was an unfair

Bet anyway.

Everybody knows bart's

Borderline.

C.J.: well, you knew that

Going in.

You shouldn't have made the bet.

Bart: I'm standing right

Here.

And for the record, I know what

Y'all were talking about.

Calvin: what?

Bart: that's for me to know

And you to find out.

Now I'm gonna show ruby the

Secret of being clean.

Curtis: you better not show

Ruby nothing!

Bart!

Bart! That boy scares me.

That boy scares me.

Ella: claretha, did they put

You out?

Claretha: girl, I got a

Bigger bug problem than I

Thought.

Ella: well, what's with all

The luggage?

Claretha: I didn't want ants

In my wigs, so I packed them up.

And I need to stay here for the

Rest of the day while they

Fumigate.

That's okay, isn't it?

Ella: do I have a choice?

Claretha: of course not.

Malik: hi.

Bye!

Ella: jazmine, how was

School?

Jazmine: good.

Ella: you want some cookies?

Jazmine: yes, ma'am.

Ella: they're in the kitchen.

And do your homework.

Okay, is it me, or was malik

Acting strange?

Claretha: now, ella, you know

I'm not one to start trouble,

But I think janine was on that

"Ooey" when she was pregnant

With malik.

Ella: what are you talking

About?

Claretha: you know, ganja,

Pot, weed, mary jane, reefer.

Ella: okay, I get the point.

Claretha: well, all I'm

Saying is, we know she wasn't

Smoking crack back then 'cause

He's too big for that.

Ella: claretha, please.

All I'm saying is, malik has

Been acting very secretive

Lately.

[ water running ]

What...

Is that the shower again?

This does not make sense.

Jazmine!

She know.

Come here, baby.

Hey, baby, have a seat.

I want to ask you something.

Okay, I want to ask you about

Malik.

Jazmine: oh, well, malik said

When I end up talking, I end up

Snitching.

Claretha: oh, he's just a

Hater, baby.

You can't help it if you know

Things.

Jazmine: well, if miss missy

Talks, then iwon't be

Snitching, right?

Ella: right.

Claretha: oh, she's good.

Ella: so, miss missy, what's

Going on with malik?

Jazmine: [ high voice ] Well,

He's lazy, and he has smelly

Feet --

Ella: jazmine.

Jazmine: [ normal voice ]

Wasn't me.

That was miss missy.

Ella: okay, well, has

Miss missy noticed how strange

Malik's been acting lately?

Jazmine: [ high voice ] Well,

Malik was born strange.

Ella: thank you, jazmine.

Goodbye.

Into the kitchen, do your

Homework, thank you.

Jazmine: [ normal voice ]

Hey, I didn't say a word.

That was miss missy.

Ella: thank you, miss missy.

Claretha: well, now we know.

He's been acting strange,

Secretive, always in the

Bathroom washing off evidence.

It means only one thing.

Ella...

He's a clean serial killer.

He's a clean serial killer. Ella: [ laughs ]

Ella: [ laughs ]

Curtis: all right, all right,

Busy bees, busy bees!

Bzzzz!

[ laughs ]

Good job, bart.

Bart: thanks, chief.

Curtis: uh, keenan.

Keenan: huh?

Curtis: you call this table

Clean?

Keenan: no disrespect, chief,

This table is so clean that you

Could deliver a baby on it.

As a matter of fact, you could

Makea baby...

Curtis: do you kiss your

Fianceèe with that mouth?

Keenan: yep, every day.

C.J.: and after you get

Married, she ain't gonna want to

Kiss you.

Instead, she gonna want to get

High, get high with a guy named

Blue.

Angel: who hurt you?

C.J.: I don't want to talk

About it.

Calvin: anyway, keenan, that

Reminds me -- we got to start

Planning your bachelor party.

Both: yeah!

Keenan: no!

Kim won't let me have one.

Curtis: what is up that girl?

She seems really bossy.

And you marrying her again, why?

Keenan: because she gave me a

Ring and she sent out the

Invitations.

Bart: so, exactly what color

Is your panties?!

C.J.: uncle curtis!

You're so busy following behind

The rest of us, what's up with

The bathroom, man?

It's filthy!

Curtis: don't you see I'm

Trying to run a firehouse here,

Man?!

Angel: come on, chief,

A bet's a bet.

Curtis: you're right.

Curtis: you're right. Calvin, come here!

Calvin, come here!

You my son...

Seed of my seed...

You look just like your daddy,

Too. We need to bond more.

We just don't kick it like we

Used to kick it.

Calvin: you want me to clean

The bathroom, don't you?

Curtis: no! No!

No.

Well, since you mentioned it,

Yeah, get at it.

Calvin: sorry, I can't.

I got class.

Curtis: what time is your

Class?

Calvin: what time is it now?

Curtis: 3:30.

Calvin: oh! I'm late!

Curtis: you're fired!

All: he volunteers!

Curtis: well, I just hired

Him.

Now you fired!

C.J.: he's your son.

Curtis: shut up!

When my son was 9 years old,

He started washing his hands

All the time.

By the time he was a teenager,

It got worse.

Ella: that sounds like malik.

It was really difficult for

Me.

Eventually he stopped going to

School, hanging out with his

Friends, leaving the house.

Claretha: oh, that's so sad!

Obsessive-compulsive

Disorder is a serious illness.

And if it's not treated, it can

Destroy a person's life...And

Maybe their family, too.

Ella: that's it.

That's it, claretha.

Malik has ocd!

Claretha: oh, my goodness.

Ella: we got to help him.

Ella: we got to help him. Claretha: I know.

Claretha: I know.

Malik: my favorite talk show!

Younger people with ocd

Suddenly have an urge to be

Clean.

Not just their bodies but

Their overall appearance.

The severity of ocd varies from

Person to person.

But early detection is the key.

Ella: okay, malik, malik!

Malik, we know what you've been

Going through, and we're gonna

Get you some help.

Malik: huh?

Ella: honey, we know why

You've been taking those

Showers.

Malik: you do?

Ella: but it's okay.

You don't have to go through

This alone.

Claretha: yeah.

That's what family's for,

Sweetie.

Ella: yes, so we're gonna go

Over to the firehouse and get

Your dad and uncle curtis, and

We'll all sit down and we'll

Help you.

Okay, all right.

Oh, listen, don't leave because

Jazi's taking a nap, okay?

Malik: okay.

Claretha: here.

Auntie claretha understands.

Now, you put these on, and

They'll help stop you from doing

What you've been doing.

All right?

Ella: okay, all right.

Claretha: we gonna all give

You a helping hand.

Ella: malik, you don't ever

Have to do this by yourself!

Have to do this by yourself! You remember that!

You remember that!

C.J.: well, according to the

Inspection's checklist, the

Fire truck passed.

Good job, bart.

Bart: thanks, c.J.

I enjoyed giving ruby a rubdown.

Angel: bart, you need to get

Yourself a date.

Bart: for your information,

I had one last night.

Keenan: really?

Bart: no, I just wanted to

See the look on your faces.

C.J.: anyway, all the exits

Are clear, all the equipment

Passed.

It's all working properly.

So, good job, crew. Thumb's up.

Keenan: so we passed the

Inspection?

C.J.: no. We failed.

Calvin: how?

C.J.: somebodyforgot to

Clean the bathroom.

Curtis: who was that?

Who did that? Who did that?

C.J.: you!

Curtis: I did clean it!

I flushed the toilet and cut out

The light.

Keenan: but that's not

Cleaning it.

Angel: plus you lost a bet.

Curtis: shut up, angel.

Let's just say I forgot.

C.J.: how you forget to clean

The bathroom?

Curtis: the same way you

Forgot jazmine at the movie

Theater.

The same way ella forgot to take

Her pill.

Calvin: what are you saying,

Pops?

Curtis: love you.

Ella: oh! Oh! Hey, c.J.

C.J., hi, I need to talk with

You about malik. He's been --

All: we know!

Claretha: ella, I swear, I

Didn't tell them.

Ella: c.J., we've got to stop

Him!

Curtis: baby, he can't be

Stopped.

[ laughter ]

Ella: [ laughs mockingly ]

It's not funny!

I mean, it's not right that he

Has to go through this every

Day! Any day!

By himself.

Curtis: that's usually how

It's done, baby.

Ella: what's he thinking?

Calvin: probably about

Beyonceé.

C.J.: or kerry washington.

Keenan: or janet jackson.

Angel: or denzel.

Or will smith.

Curtis: he better not be

Thinking about denzel or

Will smith.

Bart: or weezy jefferson.

Don't act like you haven't been

Dreaming about weezy, now.

Ella: wait a minute.

All those people have this

Problem, too?

Angel: if it makes you feel

Any better, mrs. Payne, I heard

It helps relieve stress and

Clears out acne.

Curtis: there you go, baby.

Not only is he clean, but it's

Good for him, too.

[ laughter ]

Ella, the boy's doing what boys

Do.

You didn't freak out when calvin

Did it, all day, every day.

Ella: my baby did it?

Calvin did it?

I don't remember ever seeing him

Do it.

C.J.: you saw him?

Ella: yes!

In the living room!

He was sitting in your chair!

Curtis: shut the hell up!

No, he didn't!

Ella: he was rubbing up here,

Rubbing down there.

Claretha: we couldn't stop

Him. He was like a madman.

Ella: just going up and down!

Up and down!

Curtis: oh, my god, the boy

Is scarred for life!

And so is my chair.

C.J.: I better go talk to

Him. Where's he at now?

Claretha: standing in the

Middle of the living room

Wearing gloves.

C.J.: he put gloves on

Afterwards?

Ella: no!

We put gloves on him!

To help him!

C.J.: to help him?

Claretha: to stop.

C.J.: I better go.

Ella: come on, curtis, go

Talk to him, too.

Curtis: you know what?

I think I better 'cause if he's

Standing in the middle of the

Living room wearing gloves...

He's doing it wrong!

He's doing it wrong! [ laughs ]

[ laughs ]

C.J.: son?

Curtis: put the -- he got the

Remote.

Put the remote down.

C.J.: put it down, son.

Sit down.

You okay?

Malik: no.

Did auntie ella tell you?

C.J.: we already knew.

You want to talk about it?

Malik: yeah.

C.J.: you see, son, men are

Like...Fire trucks.

It's perfectly natural to get...

Revved up.

You understand?

Malik: no.

Curtis: me either.

C.J.: son, what I'm trying to

Say is --

Curtis: look!

Lock the door!

Wash your hands!

And don't get caught!

And remember...

[ echoing ] Sound...Travels...

Whether you got the shower on or

Not.

C.J.: [ echoing ] What he

Said.

Malik: [ echoing ] Well, you

Could have said that.

Man!

C.J.: hey!

Put that remote down.

Curtis: give me that!

Give me it!

Give me your hand.

Both of them.

Both of them!

Rub them together.

C.J.: you gave him enough to

C.J.: you gave him enough to Take a bath in.

Take a bath in.

Ella: I'm just so worried

About malik.

C.J.: don't worry.

We talked to him.

He's fine. He'll be okay.

Ella: c.J., I was watching

The tv, and they said you need

Therapy to control it.

How is he just gonna stop it on

His own?

Curtis: therapy?

You don't need no therapy!

It istherapy!

Ella: curtis, without

Therapy, how is he going to get

Rid of ocd,

Obsessive-compulsive disorder?

C.J.: malik doesn't have

Obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Curtis: is that what you

Thought was wrong with him?

Ella: that's what I know.

C.J.: [ chuckling ]

Curtis: ella.

Ella: well, what's wrong with

Him, then?

Curtis: ain't nothing wrong

With him! That's the point!

Ella...

[ whispering ]

Ella: aah!

Aaah!

Ewww!

Wha-a-a-a-a-t?!

I didn't need to know that.

I didn't need to know that.

Uh, I'm going to get the bleach.

[ telephone ringing ]

Curtis: did malik ever pick

Up the phone?

Ella: yes!

Curtis: let the answering

Machine get it.

Machine get it. [ ringing continues ]

[ ringing continues ]

C.J.: he was sitting right

There.

Curtis: aah!