Original subtitles

C.J.: you know, uncle curtis, Having a talent show

Is a real good way To raise money.

Curtis: I agree with you, There's only one problem.

None of you guys have talent.

Keenan: oh, come on, chief.

We came up With some good ideas.

There's dancing With the firemen,

Cleaning With the firemen,

And kissing With the firemen.

Pick one. Calvin: kissing--

Now, that's my talent.

Curtis: hold on, hold on.

I thought that Was keenan's talent.

He's the one Had that one guy

Kept coming back To get kisses

At the last time We did the booth.

[ laughter ]

Keenan: that's not funny.

I had to put A restraining order on him.

Bart: keenan's Gentleman caller aside,

I like it when we go stand On the street corner

And wave our booties For cash.

♪ mm mm-mm-mm mm

Keenan: that's "Wave our boots",

Not "Wave our booties."

Curtis: be serious, y'all.

Now, the atlanta's boys club Is depending on us.

C.J.: how about We do a calendar?

Bart: why would somebody Want a calendar

When they can get one For free at a bank?

Keenan: but not one With us on it.

C.J.: wait. Hold up. If we do a calendar,

We got to cover 12 months.

There's only five of us. How we gonna make that work?

Curtis: simple. Each of us take two months.

And then we let ruby, Our beloved fire truck,

Have the last two.

Calvin: I got first dibs On june and july.

Curtis: oh, no, no.

I would not have Your bony brown butt

Messing up My birthday month.

You can have March and april.

Calvin: spring break.

Bart: hey, chief, Could I wear my birthday suit?

Curtis: nobody wants to see You naked, bart.

Bart: no, no, no, no.

I have an actual Birthday suit.

Yeah, it's red and blue,

And it's got Flashing lights

That say, "Happy birthday, art."

Art?

Bart: yeah, the "B" Burnt out.

C.J.: what months you want, Chief?

Curtis: oh, january And february.

I'm bringing in The new year

As a cuddly snowman.

And in february, As black love.

C.J.: black love. Bart: black love.

Ooh! ♪ black love

[ all talking ]

[ screeches ]

Am I firing somebody today?

Bart: no, no, Not me, chief.

No, I just-- I love black love.

Right on, jack.

See, I love cuddly snowmen.

I just have never seen A black snowman.

How would you make A black snowman?

Would you use black snow?

I guess you would.

Keenan: bart, go and clean

The black stuff Out of the refrigerator.

Curtis: ella, ella, ella.

Ella: curtis, curtis, curtis!

Curtis: ella, ella, ella!

[ smooches ]

Guess what. Ella: what?

Curtis: guess who's In the new sexy calendar

As february's Black love.

Ella: denzel!

Oh! Curtis: no.

Ella: oh, okay. Well-- ooh!

Ooh, that fine Morris chestnut.

Curtis: no.

Ella: oh, oh, oh.

Mmm! Aha! [ laughs ]

Ll cool j.

Curtis: no, no, no.

I'll give you a hint.

It's-- it's your favorite man.

Ella: ah...

Jesus.

Curtis: on earth.

Ella: baby face?

Curtis: on the block.

Ella: new kids.

Curtis: ella, no. It's me, ella. It's me.

I'm february's black love.

Ha ha!

[ laughter ]

Ella: okay, curtis.

Oh, baby, please!

Please don't ruin Black history month.

It's only 28 days.

Curtis: what?

Ella: wait, did I say that?

Curtis: yes, you did.

Ella: well, curtis, I don't want my black love

All over the calendar For everybody.

Curtis: oh.

Ella: [ chuckles ]

C.J.: we got a saleswoman In the family.

Jazmine sold three boxes Of candy

Before we left School grounds.

Ella: jazmine, That is great.

So, who did you Sell them to?

Jazmine: one to daddy And two to malik.

Malik: okay, okay.

I'll go get Your money already.

Jazmine: daddy, What you laughing at?

C.J.: can you spot Your dad?

Ella: [ laughs ]

Jazmine: what about you, Auntie ella?

Want to buy some candy?

Ella: I sure do, baby. I'll go get my purse.

Ooh, black love.

[ smooches ] I like that.

Curtis: that's me. February black love.

Jazmine: what about you, Uncle curtis?

Want to buy some candy?

Curtis: no. Candy is bad.

Wait, and so is selling it Around here.

You know, baby, I'm doing My own little fundraiser.

I can't have you competing With the firehouse.

And your little girly, Cute smile

Ain't gonna change My mind, either.

Jazmine: but it's For a good cause.

We're raising money For field trips,

And the top seller Wins a bike.

Curtis: a bike?

Oh, so, the charity Is really you.

Jazmine: yep.

The school gets theirs, And I get mine.

Curtis: jazmine, That's not right.

Jazmine: hey, I don't Make the rules.

I just make the money.

Curtis: don't ask me to buy One piece of candy,

'cause I'm already Supporting three charities.

You, your brother, And your father.

C.J.: all right, fellas, We need to finalize

This calendar thing, okay?

We all got our months, And we got the photographer.

Keenan: and if chief Has a theme,

I think we should Pick a theme, too.

Bart: okay, well, I like...

[ humming "Camptown races" ]

Calvin: no, bart.

Not a theme song, a theme. Like an idea.

Curtis: well, look, as long As y'all don't forget,

My theme-- C.J.: yeah, we got it.

All: february-- black love.

Curtis: oh, guys, by the way, By the way,

We got a new recruit Coming in

By the name Of angelo reyes.

Bart: cool, a latin dude.

Yeah, it's about time we got Some diversity up in here.

I'm tired of it being Just us black folks.

Curtis: anyway...

Graduated tops in his class,

Third-generation firefighter,

And has been awarded Several medals.

C.J.: oh, well, you know What we do to newbies.

[ laughter ]

Curtis: that's fine, That's fine.

But, please, don't take it As far as you did last time.

Calvin: yeah, remember pete? C.J.: oh.

Bart: you know, I hear he's Getting better, though.

His hair grew back.

C.J.: is he eating Solid food?

Calvin: still using That walker?

Bart: yeah.

Malik: selling candy Is so boring.

Jazmine: not for me.

I sold to everybody On this side of the street.

Malik: yeah, but you barely Made any money.

Malik: oh, man, How much is that?

Jazmine: $200.

But why do you care?

You just said "Selling candy is boring."

Malik: but how'd you get People to pay so much?

Jazmine: like this.

Watch and learn.

Excuse me, I'm selling candy For my school,

And even though $20 Might seem like a lot

For one candy bar, it would Really help the children.

Malik: $20?

You can't do that.

Unless you cut me in On the deal.

Jazmine: I don't know, malik.

Malik: come on.

You could sell Way more chocolate with me

Because I can cross the street.

Jazmine: hmm. That makes sense.

Okay, here's your candy.

Now get out there And get my money.

Oh, and, malik.

The accounting Better be right.

Bye.

Keenan: I don't think This is right.

Bart: why, 'cause you were The last recruit

And we got you So good?

Keenan: no, because It's childish.

I...Someone's coming.

I think it's him.

Ready...

Aim...

All: fire!

[ laughter ]

Bart: he's a she.

Curtis: you guys, wait till You see my "Black love" shirt.

[ laughs ]

Hello.

Angel: hi. I'm angel. Curtis: angel?

Angelo reyes?

Angel: no, no, no. I'm angel o. Reyes,

As in, "Angel olivia reyes."

Curtis: oh, I read The reésume wrong.

Angel: I guess you did. Curtis: ooh.

Well, the guys Didn't mean no harm.

They-- whoever's Responsible for this

Will be fired In the morning.

Angel: it's okay, Chief payne, really.

Curtis: can I get you Some water, anything?

Angel: no, I've had Enough of that.

Curtis: dumb me.

[ muttering ]

You the same firefighter Who pulled the linebacker

Out the burning house?

Angel: yep, that was me.

Curtis: what?

The same one that stopped The fire truck

From rolling backwards Up at druid hills?

Angel: that was me, too.

Curtis: you're the man!

Angel: correction, woman.

Curtis: uh-oh, we got A wo-man.

Ha ha! Get to work.

Look, come on, let me show you

Where to put your stuff. Angel: okay.

Curtis: sorry about that.

Take care of y'all later.

Calvin: did you see that?

C.J.: that's a cutie pie Right there, man.

Bart: whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa, wait a minute.

I don't know about having A girl in the firehouse.

C.J.: did you see how fine That girl was?

You know what? Maybe you're right.

Things might change.

Keenan: like Feminine products

In the bathroom.

All: ew. Bart: yeah.

And I can't walk around Naked anymore.

Calvin: ew. Thank god. C.J.: but you know what?

We got to get back On this calendar.

Calvin: yeah. She can't be in it.

What type of woman Wants to see

Another woman In a calendar?

That reminds me Of one of my women.

Hey, you know what I mean.

Don't you think She'll hurt our sales?

Keenan: well, we can't Drop the idea,

'cause I just had "Flame retardant"

Ironed onto a t-shirt.

What?

Angel: chief, I'm serious. It didn't bother me.

It's just a little water.

Curtis: okay, okay, as long As you're all right.

You know, the guys Was just having fun.

They're silly Like that sometimes.

Speaking of, Let me introduce you.

There's bart.

There's keenan.

There's c.J.

And calvin.

Angel: hey, guys. Look, I just want to let you know

That I'm not upset About the water,

And I'm really excited To be part of the team.

So just feel free To think of me

As one of the guys.

Curtis: okay, you know what?

You are a great addition To our team.

Welcome to the team, angel.

Angel: thank you.

Dinner is almost ready.

Jazmine: okay.

Give me!

That's not all of it.

Malik: let's split Our portions.

This is mine, And this is yours.

Jazmine: no.

This right here is yours.

Man, this is a lot of money.

But it just won't cut it.

We need to up our sales.

Malik: come on, jazi.

We're already working

Every day After school.

Jazmine: it's not enough.

We need to expand Our team, man.

Now, I'll make some calls,

And you'll need To call kevin.

Malik: yeah, kevin does Have a bike.

Jazmine: and he can stay out Until 10:00.

Malik: consider it done.

Jazmine: malik.

One other thing.

Your shoe, bro.

Malik...

You're my brother And I love you,

But don't ever Go against the family.

Calvin: push. Keenan: come on, bart.

Bart: I'm going. Curtis: go all the way down.

If you're gonna do them, Go down.

C.J.: what y'all doing?

Bart: we're working out

For the photographer.

We're getting buff.

C.J.: doing girly push-ups?

Bart: hey.

C.J.: unc, why you ain't Down there getting buff, man?

Curtis: 'cause I ate too much At the buffet.

[ laughter ]

C.J.: well, The photographer's on the way,

So all we got to do Is figure out

How to get rid of angel.

Calvin: let's send her On a fire.

Bart: yeah, but there Isn't any fire.

Keenan: maybe he should have Been flame retardant.

Bart: oh, I get it.

Never mind.

Curtis: guys, you know, I've been thinking about that.

Angel is really nice.

Maybe we just need To say something to her.

C.J.: unc, You're getting soft.

Keenan: please, now, I object.

I spent all that time Planning

And organizing This calendar.

And not to mention, We're all out of months.

Curtis: you do have a point. You do have a point.

I mean, if she messes up My black love,

Then there will be No love for february.

C.J.: just make something up.

Angel: hey, guys. C.J.: hey, angel.

Yeah, you know what? There's a cat...

Bart: up in a tree...

Keenan: over on fifth street.

Curtis: and-- and we thought

You could do a great job

Getting the cat Out the tree.

Calvin: so, Here is the address.

Oh, and can you stop At the grocery store

And pick up These groceries?

Angel: sure. Bye, guys.

Curtis: all right.

C.J.: that's what I'm talking about, okay?

All right, now, bart, Go over to miss johnson's

And put that cat Up in the tree.

Bart: affirmative.

Photographer: Your hair is smiling,

Your eyes are wavy.

Yes, natural, brilliant, Beautiful!

Yes, yes, yes!

He is great. Where'd you find this guy?

He is amazing.

You, my friend, need to be On magazine covers.

Bart: I'd love to be on The cover of clown weekly.

Photographer: With those rosy cheeks,

Those feet, my hands, This camera,

I'll become your picasso

And you my "Barta lisa."

Oh, yes, my friend. It's only a matter of time.

I will make you a god.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Next.

Keenan: I think I'm the last one.

Oh, you are an adonis, My friend.

Oh.

You must be The coffee girl. Hello.

Very important-- I need a decaf cappuccino,

Soy latte, double pump On the caramel,

Hold the foam, Add the whip.

You might want To write this down.

Kind of important.

Angel: I'm not coffee girl.

I'm a firefighter.

Photographer: oh? Really?

Angel: mm-hmm.

Photographer: awkward.

Uh, no one told me

There was Another firefighter

For the calendar shoot.

Angel: what calendar shoot?

So, you guys just wanted To get rid of me, huh?

Curtis: no, no, angel. No.

Um, look, we just thought

You would feel awkward Being the only female

In an all-male calendar. It's all male.

Angel: I work in A male-dominated profession,

And I'm used to it.

And since I'm here now, You guys better

Get used to it, too.

Curtis: yeah, we-- we will.

But we just didn't know How to ask you, that's all.

Angel: how about Next time you try,

"Angel, do you want to be Part of our photo shoot?"

Come on, let me Hear you say it.

Curtis: I can try.

That's kind of hard.

Angel-- angel-- angel--

Angel: I can't hear you.

Curtis: angel, Would you like to be

A part Of the photo shoot?

Angel: now, that wasn't So hard, was it?

I'd love to.

Let me change first.

C.J.: oh, man.

[ slow-tempo music plays ]

[ record scratches ]

Bart: she doesn't even Have a theme yet.

Calvin: dawg, with a body Like that...

All: she don't need A theme.

C.J.: hey, kids.

Curtis: what the--

Malik, did you get ahold Of my atm card?

Malik: no.

C.J.: no?

Then where's All this money from?

Jazmine: it's mine, daddy.

I saved it From selling candy.

Curtis: uh, psst, Excuse me.

You know, You still owe me

From the money I loaned you

From my retirement fund.

I don't mind Taking money from babies.

Just so you know.

C.J.: jazmine...

All this money is yours?

Jazmine: yep.

I gave the school Their cut

And I got mine.

With malik's help.

Malik: don't look at me.

I was just a soldier In the army of jazmine.

Calvin: and what fine soldiers They turned out to be.

Jazmine: daddy, This is my profit.

Cousin calvin said If I saved up enough,

I could get Anything I want.

C.J.: is that what he said?

Calvin: yeah, I said it.

C.J.: well, what Do you want, baby?

Jazmine: to help us Buy a house.

Malik: what?

Do you know how much A house costs?

Jazmine: nope.

C.J.: a lot, baby.

Curtis: but every little bit Helps, baby.

C.J.: baby, you let me Worry about

Getting us a house, okay?

I just want you to focus on

Being a little girl, All right?

Okay?

All right.

And you didn't know nothing About this house thing?

Malik: no. If I did,

I would have taken my portion Out a long time ago.

Curtis: what about you, Calvin?

Calvin: I didn't know Anything either.

But if I did,

I would have increased My consultant's fee.

Dang, bro.

C.J.: now, you two Are gonna help me

Return all of this money To every single person

That jazmine got it from, You got that?

Malik: yes.

C.J.: you got that, calvin?

Calvin: yeah, Yeah, yeah, hater.

Curtis: the kid Stays here.

C.J.: pop, what you doing?

Curtis: ha ha!

Forget them calendars.

Me and jazi are going To sell some candy.

C.J.: no, we're Taking the kid.

Curtis: I had her first.

C.J.: no, I'm taking her With me.

We're gonna Give the money back.

Curtis: I'm taking my baby!

Don't you take my baby!

Please don't take my baby!

Come on, c.J., I was just playing.

C.J.

C.J., she's my profit!

[ camera shutter clicking ]

Beautiful. Keep it going.

Keep it going. Yes, yes.

Curtis: go, lady!

Now more. More.

Gentlemen, it's feeling Really hot in here.

Could you perhaps Leave the room

And let us have A one-on-one?

I tend to work better.

C.J.: you know what? How about you leave the room

And we have a one-on-one? Come on.

Curtis: ha ha! C.J.: all right. More.

Give me a little more. Give me more.

Okay, you are the best. You are sexy.

Get up in there. Get up in there.

Bart, bart, Come on. Come on.

Angel: bart, you want The hat?

Bart: I do want the hat, Player haters.