Original subtitles

Bart: this is gonna be it.

This is gonna be it.

Third time is a charm.

Here we go!

One more time. One more time.

One more time.

I'll get it this time.

Okay. All right.

I am a leaf. A leaf.

I float on the wind.

Here I go.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

How do those little girls do it?

Calvin: they're little.

Keenan: and they're girls.

Bart: one rope. One rope.

Let's try one rope.

Like we did in the burbs.

Here we go.

All right.

This is gonna be it, gentlemen.

Okay. You ready?

Both: * your mama and my mama

Were washing clothes *

* my mama punched your mama in

The nose *

* that's why your mama only got

Nine toes *

Curtis: hey.

Bart: what? Oh. Oh.

Curtis: what are y'all doing?

Bart: uh...

Calvin: jumping jacks.

Bart: it's the, uh, fitness

Exam, chief.

Do you want to join in?

Curtis: that's good.

That's good.

Hey, guess what.

Calvin: you can't do five.

Curtis: shut up.

No.

Councilwoman hill is coming by

Here to personally award me an

Award for having the fastest

Response time of any of the

Firehouses.

C.J.: wait a minute.

That award should be for all of

Us.

Keenan: yeah, technically

Calvin's ghetto version of

Mapquest is the reason we even

Have the fastest response time.

Calvin: that's right.

I know every back street and

Alley.

I'm the original backdoor boy.

Y'all know what I mean.

Curtis: anyway, the only

Reason the councilwoman is

Coming is because she's one of

My close friends.

C.J.: oh, yeah?

Why's she always calling you

Cletus?

Curtis: it's probably a pet

Name.

She's sweet on me.

C.J.: see, this ain't just

About you.

Curtis: yeah.

It's about us -- me, my fire

Truck, and councilwoman hill on

The front cover of

Atlantic style news.

C.J.: there's no "I" in

"Team."

Curtis: there's no "U"

Either.

Bart: [ whistling ]

Curtis: bart.

Bart: yeah.

Curtis: where are you going

With that?

Bart: I am going to wash

Ruby.

If she is going to get an award,

I am gonna scrub her from top to

Bottom.

Both: * ruby! *

Bart: yes.

* I am gonna wipe down her mud

Flaps *

Both: * ruby! *

Bart: * I am gonna polish her

Siren *

Both: * ruby! *

Calvin: * and then I'm gonna

Wax that *

Both: * ruby! *

Curtis: hold on, hold on,

Bart and the rubettes.

You guys realize you're talking

About a fire truck, right?

All: * ruby! *

Bart: here I come, baby!

* ruby! *

C.J.: whew! I'm beat.

Curtis: me, too.

Calvin: me, three.

Mom's got me doing my own

Laundry today.

What's gotten into her?

Curtis: something grown folks

Call common sense.

C.J.: if you're not careful,

She'll have you tying your own

Shoelaces.

Calvin: hater.

Ella: hey, guys.

Curtis: hey, baby.

Guess what.

Me and ruby's getting an award.

Ella: for what?

C.J.: lying.

Curtis: hater.

[ doorbell rings ]

Calvin: hey, it's janine's

Parents.

Oh, it's like that?

I'm just trying to give you some

Love.

Cool. I'll be in the kitchen.

Be breezy.

Curtis: why do you all keep

Showing up unannounced?

Are you boycotting phone calls

Or something?

Ella: curtis, stop it.

C.J.: any luck finding

Janine?

Liz: no, no, we hit a dead

End.

Curtis: that's ironic.

You hit dead ends.

Your daughter hits pipes.

Larry: anyway, we're headed

Back to florida, and we promised

The kids we'd see them before we

Left.

Ella: oh!

They're gonna be so glad to see

You.

They're in the back.

C.J.: come on.

I'll show you where they are.

Larry: hello, hello, hello!

Jazmine: grandpa!

You came back!

Liz: hello, sweetie pie. Ooh!

Of course we came back.

We promised we were gonna come

Back.

[ laughs ]

So, you -- you two sleep in this

Room...Together.

Malik: yeah.

Liz: isn't it a little small

And smelly?

I mean, wouldn't you both love

To have your own room that's not

Such a small, tiny matchbox?

Jazmine: well, it's not

Small, but I would like my own

Room because malik has some

Smelly feet.

Malik: well, you snore.

Jazmine: just because I'm not

Trying to breathe in your smelly

Feet.

Liz: [ gasps ]

Larry: is this a weapon?

Malik: no.

I'm carving in paddles for my

Cousin calvin.

He says it's hell week.

Liz: oh!

Malik! Such profanity!

Larry, did you hear what he

Said?

He said h-e-double hockey

Sticks.

Larry: yes, yes, liz.

I'm standing right next to you.

Liz: aah!

Come here. Quickly. Quickly.

Quickly.

There's an ugly spider in the

Corner of your room!

Jazmine: hello!

I cannot breathe.

Liz: huh?

Jazmine: I can't breathe!

Liz: I'm sorry.

Oh!

Jazmine: that?

That's just charlotte.

Malik wanted to kill her, but I

Told him not to.

Everyone deserves to live.

I'm all spider rights.

Malik: grandma?

Liz: yes.

Malik: her sister charlene is

On your shoulder.

Liz: aah!

Aah! Aah!

Get it off! Get it off!

Get it off! Get -- ooh!

Get it off!

Aah!

Larry: hold on, dear.

I'm coming.

Curtis: all right, guys.

The city council's office

Called, and councilwoman hill

Will be here by 4:00.

We've checked everything.

We got the hose rolled -- check.

We got uniforms and boots.

That's checked.

Reflections in the floor --

Check, check, check.

[ laughs ]

Good job, fellas.

Bart: thanks, chief.

Curtis: now, I'm gonna go

Check on my baby.

Uh, guys.

Where's ruby?

Calvin: did you check out

Front?

Curtis: I just looked out

Front, and it's not out there.

C.J.: bart was the last one

To have her.

He was taking her to get the

Seats cleaned this morning.

Curtis: bart?

Bart: what's up, chief?

Curtis: do you know where my

Fire truck is?

Bart: I give up.

[ low voice ] Where's your fire

Truck, chief?

C.J.: didn't you say you were

Taking the truck to get the

Seats cleaned?

Bart: [ normal voice ] No,

No, no.

I said I was going to, but when

I got here this morning, she was

Gone.

I figured keenan took her 'cause

He was late.

Keenan: I wasn't late.

I'm never late.

In fact, I'm always here early,

Which technically makes me on

Time.

And because of all of the

Rollover minutes of being here

Early, in fact, I'm on vacation

Right now.

Curtis: keenan, did you take

The truck or not?

Keenan: no.

I was at the dentist on my

Rollover minutes.

Curtis: you guys had better

Find my truck or I'm gonna have

A problem finding your checks.

Now, find ruby!

C.J.: no, no.

Curtis: I can't look at -- I

Got to go see.

But that's my baby.

I got to go get my baby.

Ella: why are you two home so

Early?

C.J.: we got a problem over

At the firehouse.

I'm gonna handle it, but I had

To bring the chief home so he

Could calm down.

Ella: what happened now?

Curtis: [ whimpering ]

They lost my fire truck, ella!

And the councilwoman's coming!

Ella: well, how do you lose

An entire fire truck?

Curtis: [ whining ]

That's what I want to know!

[ doorbell rings ]

Is that ruby? Is that her?

I'm in here, baby.

Ruby!

Calvin: hey, larry and liz.

Larry: hey, calvin.

How you doing?

Calvin: no, like this.

Larry: oh, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Liz: what is that?

Calvin: oh, that's how

Homeboys greet each other.

Liz: no, no, no, no.

What is that?

Calvin: oh, this.

Well, the time-outs weren't

Working for the kids, so we had

To come up with a new system.

Liz: [ clears throat ]

Calvin: all right.

Liz: oh! Oh!

C.J., we left in such a hurry,

We missed you.

We really need to talk to you

About the children.

C.J.: can we talk later?

I got an emergency out here.

Liz: that's interesting.

You're putting your job before

Your family, as usual.

Calvin: well, he is a busy

Guy.

Liz: I bet you do that a lot,

Don't you?

C.J.: excuse me?

Calvin: now that I think

About it, you are gone a lot.

C.J.: will you shut up?

Look, I work late hours, but the

Firehouse is right across the

Street.

Calvin: that's right.

We can see him from right here.

Curtis: what is this all

About?

Larry: well...

We don't think the children are

Safe here.

C.J.: what?

Ella: based on what?

Liz: several things.

Jazmine and malik are too old to

Share a room.

Calvin: true dat.

Curtis: I'm 50, and I share a

Room.

Larry: the point is we got a

Grandson who plays with

Dangerous tools and a

Granddaughter who plays with

Arachnids.

Calvin: psst! Pops.

That means spiders.

College boy.

C.J.: so, let me get this

Right.

You think I'm not a good father?

Larry: no, no, that's not it.

Liz: we believe that the

Children may be better off

Living with us.

C.J.: oh, my --

Liz: which is why...We're

Filing for custody.

Calvin: hey, cuz, you want to

Use this to handle your

Business?

No?

Curtis: where?

You're breaking up.

By the rib shack? On the corner?

Do you know beverly?

Okay, I'm coming. Piedmont.

Remember that -- piedmont.

Okay. I'll be right there.

I'll be right there. All right.

Ella: curtis, where are you

Going?

Curtis: baby, somebody has

Spotted ruby over on piedmont.

Ella: this is way more

Important than ruby over on

Piedmont.

Curtis: look, if I don't find

My truck, I'm gonna lose my job.

C.J.: you mean to tell me a

Fire truck is more important

Than malik and jazmine?

Curtis: c.J., please don't

Make me choose.

Ain't nobody gonna take them

Doggone kids.

Look, if you need me, just call

Me on the cellphone, all right?

All right.

Jazmine: aunt ella, my knee

Hurts.

Ella: baby, what happened?

Malik: well, we were outside

Playing, and eldon pushed her

Down.

Ella: why did he do that?

Jazmine: 'cause I pushed him.

Big baby.

Ella: girl power.

Who are you calling?

C.J.: a lawyer.

I'm gonna fight this.

Malik: wait a minute, dad.

He apologized.

Jazmine: yeah, I don't think

We need a lawyer.

C.J.: oh, baby, no, no.

I'm not calling about eldon.

[ doorbell rings ]

Jazmine: oh.

Ella: wait, wait, wait, wait,

Wait.

Oh, hello. May I help you?

Milliken: you must be

Mrs. Payne.

Ella: I am.

Milliken: I'm miss milliken,

With the department of child and

Family services.

I'm here regarding

Malik and jazmine payne.

C.J.: I'm their father.

Is there a problem?

You can talk to me.

Milliken: I'm responding to a

Complaint made by their

Grandparents.

There's some concerns about the

Children's safety, so I need to

Conduct a home study to see if

They have a case.

C.J.: don't I have some kind

Of say in this?

Milliken: you don't have to

Cooperate with us, but that will

Be reflected in the report.

Ella: c.J. -- c.J., it's all

Right, baby.

We have nothing to hide.

Milliken: that's a nasty

Scrape!

Jazmine: I don't know you

Like that.

Milliken: precious.

Mr. Payne, can you show me where

The children sleep?

C.J.: yeah, come on.

Malik: auntie ella, what's

Going on?

Ella: malik, don't worry

About it.

Don't worry about it.

Come on. Let's get a snack.

And, jazi, let me take care of

That little knee.

[ giggles ]

Did you punch him in his head,

Jazi?

Milliken: that concludes my

Home study.

Curtis: baby, I searched up

And down piedmont.

I didn't see ruby anywhere.

Milliken: you lost a child?

Ella: no.

My husband is the fire chief.

He's not that irresponsible.

He just lost a fire truck.

Curtis: who is this?

C.J.: this is miss milliken,

From child and family services.

Curtis: is she here because

Of liz and larry?

C.J.: yeah.

Curtis: c.J., why are you

Fighting this?

Just give them the damn kids.

They're gonna bring them back in

An hour anyway, trust me.

C.J.: so, what exactly are

You putting in your report,

Anyway?

Milliken: well, in addition

To mr. And mrs. Shelton's

Complaint of spiders and

Dangerous weapons, your daughter

Has an unexplained injury, and

Your children are too old to

Share a room, especially a room

That smells like stinking feet.

Curtis: is that what --

You're making a report?

Oh, that's for the kids?

I didn't realize it was for the

Kids.

You know what?

There's some other stuff that

You need to know about.

Ella: curtis.

Curtis: no, ella, stop it

Now.

I'm not gonna let it go on any

Longer.

I'm not having it.

I want you to see this.

You need to know about this if

You're writing a report.

Look at this.

Put that in your report!

Ella: that didn't help.

Curtis: whatever.

I'm trying to find my fire

Truck.

Y'all are around here trying to

Save some kids.

C.J.: so, where should we

Take the photo?

Your guess is as good as

Mine.

It is a little odd to be

Rewarded for having the fastest

Response times without a truck.

Bart: what are we gonna do?

Calvin: ooh! I know.

I got it. I got it.

We can paint bart red and make

Him go...

[ imitating siren wailing ]

Keenan: honk honk!

Curtis: shut up.

C.J.: councilwoman.

Hill: hello.

Curtis: hello.

Hill: hello.

Curtis: I'm

Councilwoman payne.

Nice to meet you, chief --

C.J.: excuse him. Excuse him.

I'm clarence payne.

This is my uncle,

Chief curtis payne.

I swear his name was cletus

Yesterday.

Hill: the people of atlanta

Would really like to thank the

Men and women who have bravely

Served this community.

Thank you so much.

And here's your plaque.

Curtis: thank you.

Everyone.

Hill: all right.

All right.

[ camera shutter clicks ]

Beautiful.

Hill: and why don't we get

Another one outside with the

Truck?

Curtis: um...

Bart: [ imitating siren

Wailing ]

Honk honk!

C.J.: the truck's over at a

Fifth-floor fire.

And why are you all still

Here?

Joe: hey, guys.

Curtis: joe. Joe.

What are you doing here?

Joe: I just brought ruby

Back.

Curtis: ruby?

C.J.: you had ruby?

Joe: yeah, I had to take her

In for her 6-month inspection.

And I'm proud to report...

She has a clean bill of health.

Here you go, chief.

Curtis: great.

Oh!

Where's it at now?

Joe: parked it right outside,

Chief.

Calvin: well, why don't we go

Get our photo on?

C.J.: yeah, yeah, 'cause this

Is an honor for everyone, right,

Chief?

Curtis: that's right.

Everybody.

Hill: so, you named your

Truck ruby?

Curtis: yeah, well, my wife

Wouldn't let me name it

Red delicious.

Hill: [ laughs ]

Curtis: she said it was too

Freaky.

Hill: oh, well, that's

Nothing.

I call my limo black stallion.

Let's go.

Time to ride the pony?

Curtis: black stallion.

The councilwoman's a little

Freak, ain't she?

Freak of the week!

[ laughs ]

You see, she's sweet on me.

You see how she looked at me?

Nasty girl!

Curtis: hoo-hoo!

Ella: how'd it go?

Curtis: baby, you are looking

At the top dog!

Councilwoman hill gave your

Husband, curtis payne, one of

The top honors in the atl!

Bam!

Ella: oh!

"This plaque for outstanding

Service is hereby awarded to

Chief cletus...Payne."

Who is cletus?

[ doorbell rings ]

C.J.: miss milliken.

Mr. And mrs. Shelton.

Milliken: I have the results

Of my evaluation.

May I come in?

C.J.: yeah.

Curtis: he wasn't talking to

You.

Liz: well, I just assumed

Since he let her in that he

Would be able to --

Curtis: I'm sorry, but as the

Chief, with awards and plaques

And honors from the

Councilwoman hill -- you may

Know her.

You may not -- I must deem this

Room over capacitated.

That means only she can come in.

Liz: well, okay, but how are

We supposed to hear what's going

On?

Curtis: madam, are you

Capable of reading lips?

Liz: yes.

[ no audio ]

Jazmine: daddy! Daddy!

Malik tried to flush miss missy

Down the toilet!

Malik: tell her to leave me

Alone.

I am trying to do my homework.

C.J.: you two, stop all that

Fighting, okay?

Go back into your room.

I'll be in there in a minute.

Jazmine: why is grandma and

Grandpa in the window?

Curtis: they're on time-out,

Baby.

They've been naughty.

You two get back in the room.

C.J.: so, miss milliken, um,

Please, tell me, what exactly

Are the results?

Milliken: well, after

Reviewing my notes, I've

Concluded there's not enough

Evidence to open up a case.

C.J.: oh, yes!

Ella: yes!

Thank you.

Larry: what's the decision?

Milliken: there is no case

Here, sir.

Larry: no case?

What about the living

Conditions -- the tools, the

Paddles, the spiders?

Liz: the duvet covers?

They don't even match.

I mean, what do you call that?

Milliken: a home.

Listen, there's no evidence of

Abuse, neglect, or lack of

Style.

Ella: thank you.

Milliken: mr. Payne, you know

If the children's mother made

These claims, you could have

Some real problems.

You should think about filing

For sole custody.

Are you divorced?

C.J.: no, no, we're

Separated.

Milliken: well, you might

Want to think about that, too.

Have a good night.

C.J.: thank you. Thank you.

You, too.

Thank you very much.

Appreciate it.

Liz: we still believe that

The children would be better off

Living with us.

Curtis: and I believe that --

Well, c.J.

Malik: thanks again,

Uncle curtis, for letting me

Move into your training room.

Curtis: don't be trying to

Suck up, you squatter.

Jazmine: what's a squatter?

Curtis: you, your daddy, and

Your brother.

Jazmine: thanks for letting

Us squat here.

Curtis: what the --

Jazmine: say good night to

Charlotte.

[ gasps ]

Aah!

Curtis: these things don't

Die, boy.

Who's charlotte?

Malik: pops...That was

Charlotte.

Jazmine: you're a murderer!

[ sobs ]

Curtis: sorry.

You didn't tell me that was her.

Come on. Let's tickle her.

Jazmine: [ laughing ]