Original subtitles

C.J.: uncle c.

Can I holler at you

For a second?

Curtis: commercial's on.

You got 30 seconds.

C.J.: well, I was thinking

About your offer.

Curtis: 20.

C.J.: and, uh, seriously, I

Know that you and aunt ella will

Miss us...

Curtis: 10 seconds.

C.J.: ...But I decided to

Take your offer...

Curtis: 5 seconds.

C.J.: ...For your retirement

Money, so we can move.

Curtis: would you move?

Move?

Did you say -- did I say "Move"?

No, you said "Move."

Didn't you just say "Move"?

C.J.: mm-hmm.

Curtis: as in "Move out"

Move?

I'm so proud of you, c.J.

Okay, uh -- uh, what do we got

To do?

What do we got to do?

You need a check, money order,

Anything?

What you need? Atm card?

We're gonna need -- you know,

You need boxes.

We need boxes.

We're gonna get --

Guess what.

I got boxes in the room here.

I got boxes.

Hey, bubble wrap.

Would you believe I got bubble

Wrap?

I got bubble wrap.

Okay, we need a truck 'cause we

Got to move the boxes with the

Bubble wrap.

We can use the fire truck.

We can use the fire truck.

We can paint it, wash it, and we

Could --

Oh, yeah!

Go with a red fire truck.

We'll put the siren on so we get

There fast.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, I'm getting tired.

Come on, come on.

Curtis: * oh *

* we're gonna get these boxes,

Fill them up with c.J.'s -- all

His little stuff *

* put them in the big red truck

And move away *

* to the wild, blue yonder *

* move *

* I said, move *

Ella: curtis, you got boxes

Already?

Curtis: of course!

Hey, hey, baby.

You know that dream I'm always

Having?

Ella: the one where I serve

You drinks on the beach?

Curtis: no, in that dream,

You serving me and beyoncé

Drinks on the beach.

I'm talking about the one where

C.J. Moves out, and then I wake

Up and he's still here.

Ella: what about it?

Curtis: it's not a dream

Anymore.

It's reality!

C.J.'s moving out!

Ella: curtis, I know that.

Do you have to rush him?

Curtis: yes.

Oh.

Hey, guess what.

To celebrate, I'm going to

Church with you and thank god

Personally.

Ella: good.

I need to be with you so that

The lord will recognize you

Personally.

Curtis: [ laughs ]

You're right.

I have slimmed since easter.

Ella: curtis, I'm glad c.J.

Decided to take the money, but

I'm gonna miss him.

Aren't you?

Curtis: no.

Baby, don't you remember when we

Used to have the place all to

Ourself?

Hey...

You remember when we used to

Play fireman and helpless lady?

Ella: I used to say, "Rescue

Me!

Rescue me!

Rescue me!

Rescue me!"

Curtis: I'm coming, I'm

Coming, baby-- get in here!

Ha ha!

Calvin: ugh, get a room.

Curtis: we got a room -- all

These.

You get out.

Calvin: I will, as soon as I

Get my groceries.

Mom, you get my cereal?

Ella: yeah, baby.

It's in the bag.

Take the rest of the stuff, put

It away for me.

Thank you.

Curtis: we got to start over.

Ella: okay.

Rescue me!

Rescue me!

Curtis: I got to jump in the

Water.

Ooh, it's cold!

I'm coming over.

[ laughter ]

C.J.: ugh, will you two get a

Room?

Curtis: we got a room.

You better get a room.

Then all god's children will

Have rooms.

[ laughs ]

Speaking of rooms, come here.

I got something for you to sign.

C.J.: something for me to

Sign?

What you --

Curtis: that's a contract.

It's for the loan.

C.J.: oh, you don't trust me

To pay you back?

Curtis: I trust you about as

Much as I trust fema with a

Flood.

C.J.: if the loan is for

$10,000, why does this say I owe

You $20,000?

Curtis: my money, my

Contract.

Come on, now you want to read

Stuff.

Here, come on, sign it.

Sign here.

Sign here.

Now sign here.

Initial here.

And then dot right there.

Two dots.

Two dots!

Thank you.

Okay, now I got to get your

Fingerprint, and this is for

Your lock of hair.

C.J.: I'm not giving you a

Fingerprint or any of my hair.

Curtis: well, there's other

Ways to get dna.

Lick the back of this.

Okay, maybe that's too much.

C.J.: malik and jazmine, come

On, let's go, y'all.

Come on, kids.

I'm gonna take us out to eat.

We're gonna get some pizza.

Jazmine: you're taking us out

To dinner?

Malik: yeah, what are we

Celebrating?

C.J.: I got some good news,

Y'all.

What would you say if I told you

That we were gonna get our own

Place?

Jazmine: well, I would say,

"Yay!"

C.J.: then say, "Yay!,"

'cause we moving, y'all.

Come on. Get your coats.

Come on. Get your coats.

We're going.

We are moving!

Come on, kids!

Janine?

Janine: hi, c.J.

C.J.: what the hell are you

Doing here?

Janine: uh...

Yeah...

I'm tired, c.J., okay?

I'm tired, and I miss you and

The kids, and I want to come

Home.

C.J.: come home?

Janine: yeah.

C.J.: you came home already.

Don't you remember the cops

Brought you here the night they

Raided that crack house?

And you left.

You left with all of our stuff.

Don't you remember that?

I remember.

Janine: you -- you don't

Understand, okay?

I'm -- I'm sick.

I'm sick.

C.J., I'm sick, and I've been

Trying to get clean, okay?

I'm really trying, but it's

Just -- it's hard for me,

And --

C.J.: it's hard for you?

Janine: yeah.

C.J.: [ sighs ]

My whole life has changed...

Not to mention the kids.

Are you serious?

Do you have any idea what you

Put us through?

Janine: I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, c.J., but I -- can't

We just talk about this?

Please, I just need --

C.J.: no talking.

No more talking, okay?

Matter fact, I don't want you to

Come around here anymore, okay?

No, I don't want you calling.

I don't want you coming by.

I don't want to see you, okay,

Until you get some help.

Janine: c.J., you don't mean

That.

Don't -- don't -- don't do --

Don't do this.

Don't do this, okay, c.J.?

No, wait.

Just -- c.J., I --

C.J.: [ crying ]

Jazmine: okay.

Malik: we're ready to go.

Jazmine: daddy, are you okay?

C.J.: yeah.

Y'all, uh...

Just give me a minute.

Go in the kitchen for me, okay?

Just one minute.

Janine: c.J., I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Please help me.

I can't do this myself.

Please.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[ cries ]

C.J.: [ sighs ]

But you got to want to help

Yourself.

Ella: morning, c.J.

What you doing up so early?

C.J.: can't sleep.

Ella: are you upset about

Something?

Is it janine?

C.J.: she came by last night.

Ella: how's she doing?

C.J.: she's okay.

Ella: did she have my fur

Coat?

C.J.: [chuckles] No.

No, she didn't have your coat.

She was two days clean, and she

Looked a lot better, but she got

A long way to go.

Ella: c.J., I've been praying

For her, and some progress is

Better than none.

C.J.: yeah, you're right

About that.

That's why I took her to rehab.

Ella: you took her to rehab

Last night?

So, c.J., you've decided to

Fight for your family, your

Wife?

C.J.: I'm gonna try.

But she -- she cried like a baby

When I checked her in.

She was crying.

Ella: did you cry, too?

C.J.: no, no.

No.

But the place was nice, the

Facility.

They had a little v.I.P. Room

For the celebrities, and they

Got a lot of celebrities come in

There.

Ella: classy.

C.J.: classy.

Nice.

Yeah.

Ella: she'll be fine now,

Huh?

C.J.: yeah. Yeah.

I hope so.

You know, a man is supposed to

Do what he has to do for his

Family, right?

Curtis: yes!

And moving out is the right

Thing to do.

[ laughing ]

C.J.: what you doing up so

Early, unc?

Curtis: it's moving day!

Today's the day you put the

Deposit down on your apartment

And move out.

* oh, take c.J.'s stuff

And put it in the box *

* wrap it up with tape,

Put it in the big red truck *

* and ride through the wild,

Blue yonder *

Cut off!

[ laughs ]

Hey, what time you moving, man?

C.J.: uh, well, unc, before

You, uh...

Curtis: hold on, hold on.

I know what you're doing.

Don't you get mushy on me.

I ain't gonna have it.

You done said "Thank you"

Enough.

And, as I said before, and I'll

Say it again, you're welcome.

* oh, get c.J.'s stuff

And put it in the box *

* tape it up,

Put it in the red truck *

* and ride to the wild, blue

Yonder *

That's how they sing at your

Church.

* aaahh *

[ laughs ]

Learn it, 'cause I want you to

Do the top.

[ cellphone rings ]

C.J.: hello?

Yes, this is mr. Payne.

Wha-- she checked herself out?

Okay, well, I'll just come back

And get my money back, then.

It's nonrefundable?

No, sir, I need that money.

No, sir, you don't understand.

I really, really need that

Money.

Okay.

No-- okay.

Nothing you can do.

All right, thanks.

[ sighs ]

Aw, man.

"Hey, hey, hey, homey!

Hey, the money is gone!

Now deal with it.

Deal with that, homey."

Oh, hell no.

He would kill me.

Ella: hey, baby, here's

Lunch.

Listen, I got to get to the

Cleaner's before they close.

C.J.: yo, could you talk to

Me for a minute?

Ella: c.J., I just said that

I had to go to the cleaner's

Before they close.

C.J.: no, no, no! Don't go!

Don't go, please, please.

Please listen to me.

I just want to tell you

Something.

Ella: c.J., if I don't make

It to the cleaner's and my

Church stuff gets locked up in

There, you know they charge $5.

"Five dollar, five dollar if you

Late, if you late."

C.J.: remember when I got the

Phone call and they said that

Janine checked herself out of

Rehab?

Ella: I was there.

C.J.: yeah, well, it wasn't

Just my money.

It was all the money, all the

Money that uncle curtis gave me

To move out, and it's

Nonrefundable.

Whoo, that felt good to get out.

Hoo!

Did you hear me?

Ella: oh, I heard you.

I heard you.

I was just wondering what I was

Gonna do raising two kids with

You dead and curtis in jail.

C.J.: aunt ella, will you be

Serious?

Ella: I am serious.

And you're gonna have to tell

Him, not me.

Curtis: tell me what?

Your new address?

Ella: be breezy.

C.J.: uncle c.

Man, I was just thinking about

Taking you out to dinner so we

Could do some male bonding.

Curtis: oh, no.

We ain't got to do that now.

We'll do that when you get in

Your new place.

Right now, I got to find the

Packing tape.

I can't remember where I put it.

Ella: [ panting ]

I forgot my purse.

Oh, I see you're still alive.

You didn't tell him, huh?

C.J.: not yet.

Ella: what you waiting on?

C.J.: enough time to earn a

Black belt or take this

Beat-down like a man.

Ella: ha. Curtis!

Curtis!

C.J. -- c.J. Spent all our

Retirement money!

He took that girl to rehab!

Curtis: what is she talking

About?

C.J.: she crazy.

She crazy.

She is crazy.

Curtis: there it is.

Eureka.

[ laughs ]

Love you, boy.

C.J.: [ sighs ]

Selena: ooh, calvin.

I didn't know you had your own

House.

Calvin: I'm glad you like it.

Selena: show me around.

Calvin: okay.

Well, this is the living room,

And, you know, normally, I don't

Bring a lot of people over here.

Only special people.

Selena: [ chuckles ]

Mmm!

Wait a minute.

You didn't say you had any kids.

Calvin: I don't.

I'm a collector.

And this is miss missy.

She's worth a lot of money.

Selena: oh!

Oh, calvin, I'm so sorry.

Oh, that's sweet.

Calvin: yeah, you know, I --

I'm not afraid to get in touch

With my feminine side.

Ella: oh.

Hi, calvin.

I didn't know you were here.

Calvin: ella, I thought you

Were gonna be at church.

Ella: "Ella"?

[ chuckles ]

Hi, I'm calvin's --

Calvin: ella, this is selena.

Ella: [ chuckles ]

Calvin: uh, can you get us

Some -- something to drink?

Please?

Ella: yeah. Yes.

Selena: I didn't know you had

A maid.

Calvin: uh...

Uh...

I don't like to brag.

You know what?

How about we take that tour now,

Okay?

Well, you've seen the living

Room.

That is the kitchen.

Next stop, the master bedroom...

Which is being remodeled.

Let's check out some of these

Other bedrooms.

Come on.

Curtis: hey, calvin.

Look here, I took care of your

Cellphone, but I'm telling you,

Man, you got to slow up with

Them minutes.

Who's this?

Calvin: this is selena.

Curtis: all right, all right,

All right.

Nice to meet you, selena.

[ chuckles ]

Hey, ella!

What you cooking for dinner?

I didn't like the food at that

Church.

Selena: who was that?

Calvin: that is my

Accountant, and I think he's a

Little sweet on the maid.

You know what?

I don't feel like being here no

More.

Let's go to the firehouse, and

We can play this game called

"Fireman helps the helpless

Woman."

All you got to do is yell,

"Rescue me!

Rescue me!"

Selena: [ giggles ]

C.J.: so, cal, you ain't told

Me, man.

How'd your thing go last night

With the girl?

Calvin: it didn't.

She left the firehouse at 10:00.

She said she's saving herself.

C.J.: so why did I sleep on

The couch?

Calvin: because your bed is

More comfortable than mine.

How was the couch, anyway?

C.J.: it's a couch.

Calvin: now, are you with

This plan or not?

C.J.: yeah, yeah, let's get

It going.

Calvin: okay.

Welcome to "How to hustle the

Man."

You need to learn this formula.

C.J.: formula?

Calvin: yeah.

Football plus pork chop plus

Beer minus kids equals happy

Curtis.

Do not -- do not deviate from

This plan.

All right?

[ sighs ]

You two are late.

C.J.: you told them?

What can they do?

Calvin: a lot.

Are you kidding me?

These are your pawns.

In case my father goes postal,

Sacrifice lil' bit and keep the

Boy to carry on the family name.

Jazmine: hey, this is a

Setup.

I thought we were here to take

Uncle curtis down, not me.

Calvin: and I thought you

Were a team player, little girl.

C.J.: are you sure this is

Gonna work?

Malik: oh, it works.

C.J.: how do you know?

Malik: come on.

Cousin calvin got his own place,

A car, and a cellphone, but no

Job.

Jazmine: you do the math.

C.J.: you know what?

I appreciate all the help, guys,

But I think I need to man up and

Tell him.

Calvin: [ scoffs ]

All right.

Good luck.

Man, I'll see you on the other

Side.

C.J.: okay. Okay.

It's probably the last time

You'll see him.

C.J.!

[ cries ]

I'm just playing.

He gonna kill you, though.

[ horror movie plays on tv ]

Why he gonna run back in the

House?

White people.

C.J.: ew.

Did you see the way that man

Stabbed that other man in the

Back?

Curtis: yeah, that's his

Nephew.

He owed him money.

C.J.: oh, well, see ya.

Ella: c.J.

Curtis, turn that off.

Come on, time to talk to your

Uncle.

[ suspenseful music playing ]

[ tv turns off ]

C.J.: that movie was scary.

That was a scary movie.

Ain't no football on?

Curtis: no.

C.J.: you want a beer?

Curtis: I can't even hear

What you're saying.

Come back over here.

C.J.: I spent the money on

Janine's rehab, and she left, so

The money's gone, and I'm still

Broke, and we can't move.

Did you hear what I said?

Curtis: yeah, I heard you.

Your aunt ella already told me.

C.J.: so you're not gonna

Kill me?

Curtis: no.

I would have did the same thing

For her.

C.J.: thank you!

Thank you!

Curtis: okay, this is gay.

C.J.: so, are we cool?

Curtis: I didn't say all

That.

But if I kill you, then you

Can't pay me back.

So, for now, just go get me a

Beer.

C.J.: that's it?

Ella: curtis, this is sweet.

So I think it's time for another

Round of fireman and helpless

Woman.

Rescue me!

Curtis: you're playing with

My feelings, girl.

Don't you play with my emotions

Like that-- hold on, I'm coming.

Hey, hey, c.J.!

Don't worry about that beer!

Go bring me the ladder out of

The garage!

And some rope!

And a flashlight --

Two of them! Hurry up!

Curtis: come on, kids.

Say good night to your daddy.

Malik: good night.

Jazmine: don't let the porch

Bugs bite.

C.J.: good night.

Curtis: night-night.

Sleep tight.

Love you.

Right.

**