All language subtitles for To Joy (1950).eng

DIGITALLY RESTORED IN 2017

TO JOY

Whom do you wish to speak to?
Stig Ericsson?

He's in rehearsal at the moment.

My goodness!

Wait a moment.
I'll go call him.

Grandmother sent me.
She couldn't make the trip.

I tried calling you at work, but I...

What's happened?

The kerosene stove exploded.

Marta and the little girl
were badly burned.

Marta's dead.

They said at the hospital
that the girl is okay.

They called just before I left
to say she was out of danger.

The kerosene stove exploded.

We heard it go off
and came running.

Marta died on the way
to the hospital.

Grandmother said she
and Grandfather are coming tomorrow.

They'll call you.

Lasse and I will go buy
a mourning band.

THE STORY OF
STIG AND MARTA'S MARRIAGE

BEGINS ON AN AUTUMN DAY
SEVEN YEARS EARLIER...

We're beginning a new season.

I think it'll be good.
I don't know how you feel.

We welcome two new members
to our orchestra.

This is Stig Ericsson.

He's replacing Sunkarn,
who died last summer.

God rest his soul.

Then we have a woman
in the orchestra.

It's sort of silly,
and totally against nature,

but she's reasonably talented.

She's right there,
if you haven't noticed her.

Her name is Marta.
Welcome to you both.

All right.

Let's get started.

Gentlemen!

Let's have the winds.
From the fortissimo.

Give me all you've got!

Well, you sounded awful today,

but that's to be expected.

Good afternoon, gentlemen...

and young lady.

Cortot is coming on Thursday.
Then we'll have some music!

Hi, Stig.
Imagine us ending up here.

How was your summer?

I was abroad with my brother
and heard lots of music.

And you?

- Summer orchestra.
- Poor thing!

I never want to play
"Gold and Silver" again.

- Did you work?
- I studied Mendelssohn and others...

- Why are you so angry?
- I'm not angry!

Did you find a place to stay?
- Yes. And you?

It's a nightmare, but cheap.

There's a party tonight
for my birthday. Care to come?

- I don't feel like it. Who'll be there?
- You'll see if you come.

Can you lend me a tenner?

It's awkward asking for an advance,
and I don't know anyone here.

If you could spare it, great.
- If you come tonight.

That's blackmail!
I'll come for 20.

- Get a haircut too.
- Why?

And buy me a present.
Nothing over 1.50.

And try to be pleasant,
not your usual grumpy self.

See you.

- What's going on?
- I'm cursing my fate.

You look unbelievably comical
all clipped and combed.

Is that Marta's doing?

- You know her?
- Sure do.

We had a thing
together all summer. You?

Just from the academy.

She has a great personality,
and she's hot to trot.

Ripe for love, if you get me.
- I didn't ask for a full report!

The way she left me
almost made me ask for her hand.

And?

Caught myself just in time,
but it was damn close.

- Well, I'm not interested.
- So you're not coming tonight?

No time or interest.

Of course you'll come.

Bring your violin.
We'll play before we get drunk.

See you.

I'd like something for 1.50.

That bear there.

This?

It costs 4.80.

I'll take it anyway.

- Shall I wrap it?
- No, thanks.

He's very cute.

Yes, those bears are very popular.

Thanks.

Stop that damned nonsense!

He pounded his fist and said...

"Stop that damned nonsense!"

It's quite a funny story.

I'll tell you next time,
when we have time.

Stop being silly and let me go!

- What are you grinning at?
- You, of course.

Well, stop it, damn it!

You're drunk, so I won't hurt you.

I'm magnificent when I'm on stage.

Have you heard me play the violin?

The big-name players
are all charlatans.

They get by on cheap tricks,
but I see through their charade.

I'll tell you the secret of real art.

It's created when you're unhappy.

I prefer being unhappy.

God knows it's the state
I usually find myself in.

I'll show you bastards
what the violin is all about!

I know you all feel guilty.
I know what you're thinking.

Are we artists...

when all we think about
is drinking, women, and retirement?

I'm drunk, I admit it.

I wouldn't dare say a thing
if I weren't.

But I see through you,
and through myself too!

And I say take it all away!
It's worth nothing!

I'll die and come back to life,

and then you'll hear
real violin playing!

Because it all comes down
to humility!

Remember that,
you despicable loafers,

as you wallow and slobber
and burp in your stained ties!

- Are you okay?
- Go to hell!

You're making a fool of yourself.

Did you get a haircut?
You look like a greased cat.

And it's your fault.

I can't figure out who I am.

Why can't I act
like a respectable person,

with all my talent?

Because I really am talented,
even if I'm drunk.

Have you met my wife Nelly?

I assure you she's worth knowing.

She's a fun little creature,

with a mouth like a red flower.

I'm thinking of giving you to her.

She'd appreciate that.

Why are you screaming?

The roof fell in... though I could see
it was just the curtain.

I have to lie down.

I feel awful.

You overdid it a bit last night.

I need to sit up.

What time is it? Where am I?
- 5:00. And you're at my place.

- Why?
- There was no moving you.

Stig, cut it out. Don't argue.

You're the one making a fuss.

If you can't settle down,
you'll have to go.

I'm awfully silly.

Yes, you are.

People like me shouldn't be alive.

You're harmless.

But couldn't you have bought me
that birthday present?

- I did!
- But of course you forgot it.

No, you'll see.
Where's my coat?

You probably think it's really stupid.

It was all I could come up with.

Thanks so much, Stig.

It's a very nice present.

We should get some sleep.

We have rehearsal at 9:00.

A person might act
crazy and stupid at times.

What's important is that he aspire
to be a real person and artist.

Hey.

You must agree with that.

Yes, I do. Good night.

Night.

AUTUMN HAS SET IN

- Sönderby is nice.
- He's a little boring.

Doesn't matter.

- You want to be like him?
- He's done good. I'd like to too.

You've got time.

I'm 25.

By then you should be
someone with responsibility.

I'd like to start
a brilliant string quartet

and tour the world.

We'd be the best!
- Of course.

I don't like
that odd grin on your face.

Just feeling friendly.

What about you?
What do you want?

Nothing.

I'd like to bury myself so deep
that nothing got to me.

But you're not unhappy.

Some people have
an unnaturally happy air.

We always talk about me
whenever we meet.

I know nothing about you.

- Perhaps that's best for both of us.
- Don't talk nonsense.

Hey, Stig?

Do you care for me a little?

What do you mean?

You've wanted to sleep with me,
and I haven't let you.

If I did, would you care
for me a little then?

Be honest.

Don't be afraid of hurting me.

See? You can't answer.

I have to think about it.

Of course I've wondered
why you've been so difficult

and put up so many obstacles.

But we've had fun.
- You didn't answer my question.

I know exactly what you're asking.

You want some assurance
that I love you.

Otherwise you'll have moral pangs.

- God, you're stupid!
- Then don't speak in riddles.

I want us to be together.

I'm sorry.

I go on and on and forget
I'm talking to a real person.

There's so much misery,
laziness, and indifference

in both body and mind.

You end up
not believing in anything.

You think that's just how it is.

That's the whole meaning.
- There doesn't have to be a meaning.

Yes, there does.

Otherwise you make one up,

or you can't go on living.

I was married. You know that.

But it was just lies and deception.

I've deceived people
in my work as well.

I'm only moderately talented.

I've faked my way through
almost everything my whole life.

- I don't believe that.
- That's easy to say.

What's between us mustn't be fakery.
It either is or it isn't.

Are you scared?

There's such a thing
as taking things too seriously.

This will be just like playing
with words for you.

I want to be with you.

You've noticed that.

But one can't always be talking
about love and marriage either.

I promise to be as nice as I can.

We won't make any promises.

But we can promise to be honest.

That's absolutely necessary.

- And no insults.
- No.

And if we tire of each other,
we'll say so.

It'll be you who tires of me.

You don't really believe that.

No, we won't delude ourselves.

There'll be many difficult times,

more difficult than we can foresee.

- Let's stop now.
- Yes.

Let's go move your things
to my place.

It'll be practical,
and cheaper too.

Good. I hate my room.
I'll get rheumatism there.

We'll split the rent
starting next month.

I promise you won't have to sleep
on that uncomfortable sofa.

Unless you really want to,
of course.

Just what did you do
over Christmas break?

In this blasted town
where people just eat and eat!

You blobs!

This is a difficult part.

Not for someone with talent.

But some people are
lazybones and blockheads.

Once more from the top.

I can't listen to any more
of this frightful screeching.

We'll take ten minutes.

Break!

We have to ask for time off.

Time off?

Are you crazy?

You said last week we could leave
by 1:00. It's now 1:30.

I didn't realize then
you were so untalented.

In any case, we have to go.

- Really?
- We're getting married at 2:30.

My God!

I completely forgot.

I should probably apply
for my pension and retire.

I was supposed to be...
- Our witness.

Wonderful.

We'll just have to call
the mayor and postpone it.

You can't postpone a wedding
without valid reason.

But you can cancel a rehearsal?

A wedding date is respected
even in wartime.

This isn't a military unit.

It sometimes seems
like a concentration camp.

What impudence!
We'll rehearse all day.

Without Marta and me.

Then you can leave my orchestra.

We make your orchestra!

You weren't given
the strap as a child.

And you're turning
into a child again.

Go to hell!

No, I don't want
to be where you are.

You know I'm not supposed
to get angry.

You're ungrateful
and inconsiderate.

I could have
a heart attack and die.

Good riddance.

Then at least honest folk
could get married.

This is what comes
from letting women into orchestras.

What's wrong with her?

Did you look in the toolbox?

Yes, and your jewelry box too.

Go buy a new stud.

How could it just disappear?

Sure you haven't seen it?
- Darling, I don't have time for that.

- Where is it?
- I'm coming.

Here I am.

What a hurry we're in!

Getting married is time-consuming
and nerve-wracking. Admit it.

You having regrets?

Terrible regrets, to be honest.

Me too.
The ideas we get sometimes!

- We'll call and cancel.
- Now?

We made all this fuss to get away.

What would Sönderby say?

- You certainly handled him well.
- What do you mean?

The way you fainted
stopped him cold.

That was for real.

Don't try that with me.
It was amateur dramatics.

- I see.
- Did you really feel faint?

- What if I did?
- Why?

It's not so unusual.
I happen to be pregnant.

You don't seem too enthusiastic.
Well, you don't have to be.

- How did this happen?
- In the usual way.

- Don't be funny.
- Dumb questions get dumb answers.

- Have you known long?
- Almost three months.

Hit me if you want.
- Why didn't you say anything?

Because I want this child.
Understand?

- Children come, want them or not.
- You're so naïve!

- You mean...
- Yes!

- You never told me.
- Would it have made a difference?

If you've had one abortion, you can
have another. It's all disgusting!

What's disgusting?

Waiting three months to say anything.
How do I know it's mine?

Besides, there's no room.

Diapers and pee and childcare

and babysitters and cribs
and God knows what else!

All the crying and chaos.
Where will I rehearse?

Thanks so much.

How did you think
you'd pull this off?

You'd have to tell me sometime.

Think you'd come home
one day and say...

"Here's a baby for you, Daddy"?

Well?
- Should I apologize?

You don't understand.

I don't want a child.
I hate children!

You think this is
a good world to come into?

I prefer extinction.

Why don't you say something?

I'm listening to you.

You have no idea
what you're talking about.

You're talking nonsense... as usual.

What do you want me to do?

Hug you and say
he'll be prime minister one day?

- I'd like you to act like a man... for once.
- Superman?

- A regular man.
- So now I'm not a man!

I knew you were neurotic,

and you're childish and selfish too.

But I didn't know you were cruel.

Do tell.

It's good I found out
before the wedding,

because now there won't be one.

We can't cancel now!

And they say
women are so conventional!

- What will happen now?
- I'm going to the tobacco shop to call.

Since you're not interested.

You can go on living here.
I don't care.

I've never considered you
more than a lodger.

You're absolutely crazy!

Are you crying?

I've never seen you cry.
Are you upset?

No.

I'm just tired. Of you.

- Have I spoiled everything?
- What a thing to say!

Why are you crying?
You know what I'm like!

I'm only crying because
I'm angry that I'm crying.

I wouldn't cry at all
if I weren't completely drained.

I guess you thought I'd be happy.

Deep down I knew
it would be just like this.

But of course
one imagines lots of things.

Maybe that's part of it too.

Did you do that last time too?

Everything was all wrong
last time.

It wasn't the time
to be imagining anything.

You mean this time...?

I sort of thought

things were different between us.

I should have known
that nothing ever changes.

Everything's always the same...

down to the words one speaks.

I love you, damn it!

But sweetheart...

you know I've never liked surprises.

Even when I was little...

I'd get angry and upset
even at a nice surprise.

I think that's what happened
this time too.

I must say:

Your timing could have been better.

Hey, when I think about it,
we'll get child support.

That's fantastic!

The little guy
will practically support us.

And the orchestra can't toss you out
just 'cause you've got a kid.

Putte's sister
is always knocked up,

and she sits there playing,
her big belly hanging out.

And when the violin won't fit
under her neck anymore,

she still draws half her salary.

And we can always find
a new place if need be.

You talk a lot.

What I said
about surprises is true.

It's also psychologically credible.

I look so awful.

My nose grows
twice as big when I cry.

Say what you like, this will be
a wedding we'll always remember.

Marriage is for the individual's
well being and society's good.

You've indicated your willingness
to enter into matrimony.

Stig Ericsson, do you take
Marta Olsson to be your lawful wife?

I do.

Marta Olsson, do you take Stig Ericsson
to be your lawful husband?

I do.

You may place the ring
on the lady's finger.

By the power vested in me,
I pronounce you man and wife.

Never forget the promise of fidelity
that you've made.

Live together in mutual love

and safeguard the future generation.

May harmony and happiness reign
in your marriage and in your home.

Maybe he will be prime minister.

If he takes after you, that is.

The stud.

We'll keep it as a souvenir.

Well, we've got two weeks.

You and I have gone
through the concert twice.

You'll handle it adequately enough.
- Sure.

"Sure," you say.

But I know what you're thinking.

What does your wife say?

Nothing.

That worries me.

You two are trying
to keep me down.

If I were honest,
I'd prefer to avoid this high-wire act.

But what do you do
when your violin soloist packs it in?

You're being very closed-minded.

What are you staring at?

I'll tell you.

I'm staring
at that devil called ambition

twinkling in your eyes.

Is that so unusual?

No.

No, it's not.

It's not unusual at all.

But you've
only been here six months,

and you've yet to learn
that music is a goal,

not a means.

Well, what did he say?

It worked.
I have my chance.

I'll show them
how the violin is played.

The sky's the limit now,
my little tubby!

Maybe I'll go
all the way to Stockholm.

There's no telling
what could happen.

It's a wonderful feeling
to have everything ahead of you.

To know no limits.

You must be happy too.
This is for both of us.

Of course I'm happy.

Come on.

I'm not going out there.
I'm no clown!

You'll go out there
if it's the last thing you do.

It's not about you now.
Come on.

Rehearsal isn't
until 10:00 tomorrow.

You know that.

Goddamned bastard!
Now he's happy, of course.

Let's go home and have a drink.
We both need it.

Come on.
We can't stay here.

Goddamned bastard!

I'm simply mediocre!

- That went better than expected.
- Go jump in a lake.

It's better if you read it.

Read it out loud.

- There isn't much.
- Read what's there.

"Stig Ericsson
made a premature debut

in the Mendelssohn
Violin Concerto.

It's surprising that an experienced
conductor like Sönderby

didn't prevent
this rather unnecessary suicide.

Ericsson may well be talented.

The concert program indicates

he's been to the best schools."

Go on.

That's all it says.

That's all...?

Was it that bad?

You must be happy now,
you and Sönderby.

Just think how everyone will laugh!

- Where are you going?
- To make some coffee.

- I don't want coffee.
- I do.

Of course
you think this doesn't matter.

- Close the window. I'm freezing.
- I feel ill. I want some fresh air.

Why don't you say something?

Stig, what should I say?

That it went well?

That they printed lies?
That the whole world is wrong?

Shall I console you
and say it'll be better next time?

There'll be no next time.
You know that as well as I do.

- I'd be happy about one thing.
- What's that?

That I can go to rehearsal

at 10:00 a.m.,

sit in my usual place, and do my job.

That shows
how little you understand.

I'm going out for a walk... alone.

Can I go with you?

Please, Stig.

Alone, I said.
I don't want to drag your load too.

Will you go to rehearsal?

I don't know.

It's none of your business.
- You shouldn't push me away.

There's a lot I shouldn't do.

These things are easier
when someone's beside you.

But no one ever is.
Deep down you're always alone.

What you're saying
is just sentimental jabbering.

I'm alone, just like always.

That's all there is to it.

Why are you so scared of me?

Scared?

What a laugh!

I want to be left alone, that's all.
See you.

Sitting here brooding, are you?

What about you?
You don't look so happy.

Insomnia.

Working on a character?

An act of creation?

Not at all.

I heard the Mendelssohn yesterday.
It was awful.

I didn't dare sleep after that.

Good of you to take it like that.

You understand.

I know it myself.
The great silence.

Why that grin?
Everyone keeps grinning!

Am I that funny,
or is it coincidence?

Of course you're funny.
You fell on your face.

Come on.

We'll have some coffee
at my place.

Lord, what a mess it is in here!

I can't tidy up every day.

You never tidy up, sweetheart.

We'll pull the blinds
so we don't have to see it.

It was so filthy once that
the health authorities came by.

They said we'd have to move
if we didn't do better.

We had a dog then, but he died.

He had puppies first.
Then he died.

Probably from the surprise.

You look so sad.

I'd hoped to catch
the moon in a net.

But just as I was going to pull it up,
it sank deep below me.

- Like a fish?
- No, like a big coin.

Oh, now I understand.

You're a treasure hunter

who sets out to sea
and fishes for sunken planets.

I've thought of buying a bomb

to blow up a certain building,
with all the vermin inside.

Puppy sickness, my boy.
Verbal diarrhea.

Blow things up...

slam your fist down
and curse the heavens!

It all ends in a pension

and a medal
for loyal service. Cheers!

Shut up.
I'm talking to your wife.

It's pointless being married
to an old pig like you.

Moving, isn't it?

- I'm going home. I have a rehearsal.
- Good day.

Remember:
You're always welcome here,

no matter what state you're in.

- Come back soon.
- Never.

- Why not?
- I don't like you.

- Doesn't seem that way.
- Besides, this place is filthy.

Shame on you.

You do have a nice body,
but it ends there.

- That's nothing to sneeze at.
- You seem totally mad.

If you think I'd share you
with that old bugger, you're wrong.

I haven't sunk that low yet.

Even so, come again sometime.

We can always talk
about the moon.

I suppose we could do that.

Cut it out!

I thought I'd take a walk myself,

though I was actually hoping
to bump into you.

We can go
in opposite directions.

I was at Mikael Bror's.

Really?

- Must we keep talking about it?
- No, we'll never talk about it again.

Maybe when we're older,
and it doesn't hurt so much.

- Did you hurt yourself?
- Did I?

- No, it's just lipstick.
- Oh?

A strange girl there insisted
on trying to kiss me.

Are you okay?

It's on its way.

Can I help?

Are you scared?

Yes, I am. Are you?

I don't know.
I haven't felt like finding out.

In some ways
it'll feel good to finally get it out.

I'm glad it's not me doing this.

Me too.

I feel awful.

Shouldn't we get going?

Not yet.

It'd look silly
if they just sent us home again.

That would be humiliating.

Poor thing.

Shall I fix some tea
and sandwiches?

Yes, please.

I don't know what's wrong.
Probably something I ate.

Among some tribal peoples,
when the wife goes into labor,

the man takes to his bed,
screaming and carrying on.

He takes
all the congratulations as well.

Only fair, I guess.

Right, Stig?

Mrs. Ericsson, come with me.

Please stay here, Mr. Ericsson.

Be brave, darling.

AUGUST THREE YEARS LATER

Your parents were very poor.

They had no food at all.

I'm glad I'm not a writer.

If I were to take it upon myself
to portray Stig and Marta

from when we first met
four years ago,

what a dishonest and incomplete
picture I would paint.

For example, I'll never forget
the episode last winter,

when I stopped by
to drop off a score for Stig.

Maybe to chat a bit too.
I'm getting old and talkative.

One has to watch oneself
so carefully.

The doorbell was broken,
so I walked in.

I stood in the dark entryway

and peered into the living room.

How can I describe
the way they held each other?

So boundlessly tender,

but with a profound
erotic sensitivity.

But why was there
so much loneliness

and childish fear
in their stillness?

I went out again
and knocked on the door.

When Marta came to the door,
it was all still there in her eyes.

Yes, she's a remarkable
little woman.

Or the day they'd quarreled.

I picked up on it right away.

It hung in the air.

Marta was a little quiet.

She sat huddled on the sofa
and looked at Stig.

He talked to me the whole time,

but it was just nervous chatter.

He got up to get the cognac,

but on the way back
he passed Marta.

He climbed on the sofa,
they looked at one another,

and Stig suddenly said,
"Hey, little girl!"

That seemed to break the spell,

because the strained
atmosphere vanished

like a puff of wind
over the open sea.

I don't know why.
I can't tell you.

Imagine trying to decipher
the complicated secret language

that two lovers develop
and speak, unhindered,

to conceal their most secret
and fragile emotions.

Depicting a single day
in their lives

would fill many shelves
with large volumes.

Thank God that's not my job.

I have only to reproduce

what the great composers
created in truth and spirit.

That's my pleasure...

and no one can take it from me.

- I'm a very rich woman.
- You never told me.

I have you and the kids,

and old Sönderby
snoring over there.

And it's summer,
and the sun is shining...

and we have no worries.

And we're all hale and hearty.

For a moment I thought
you'd won the lottery.

This is more than I thought
any person could have.

Of course. You're a woman.

It's different for you.

You think so?

I can also worry and think...

"Is this what
my whole life will be like?

Small concerns, small joys,
small tribulations?

Nothing to sweep me
off my feet?"

But I deserve a spanking
for such a horrible thought, don't I?

I think it's to your credit.

Nowhere is it written that a person
should be content, much less happy.

Stig?

It's time we got going

if we're going
to make that concert.

How's the work going
on the Beethoven concerto?

- Not well. Why?
- Yet you keep at it.

- What of it?
- Give up the idea of being a soloist.

Settle for being
a good orchestra player.

I didn't ask for your advice.

Fair enough.

There's just so little time.

I'm going to take time off
and study with Professor Sabaska.

I've written to him.
- Pride, pure and simple.

Just because you're an old failure
doesn't mean I have to be.

The world
needs us second-raters too.

No worker bees, no beehive.

It's awful hearing you talk.

Like listening
to the already deceased.

I said not to come here.

Our relationship
is nothing to advertise.

I've told Mikael I love you.

I wish I could leave you,
but I just can't seem to.

Come on.
We can't sit here all night.

Listen to this:

"Everything is part
of what is called spiritual science.

This may include the self, society,

state, morals, or religion.

It's all just an intellectual game

with expressions one uses
as if denoting something real."

He's on the money, this Hägerström.
He has my complete sympathy.

Mine too,
but I don't give a damn.

I think Stig's tired tonight.

- What's that?
- Our lodger.

It's awful,
but we need the money.

Evening!
So you're not in bed yet?

I had a bite to eat at the Grand.

Hello there.
I didn't know you lived here.

Didn't use to, but I do now.

As of yesterday.

So you move in these circles.

I didn't know that.

...winds variable at first,

and then primarily from the north.

Partly cloudy,
with thundershowers.

Somewhat cooler...

I have to ask you something:
Can we move into town?

Right away.
As soon as possible.

Did you and the kids
have to move into town too?

You had it so good
in the country.

Why don't you answer?

Why are you treating me
like a criminal?

Sabaska hasn't replied yet.

You're hurting me.

- Maybe you or Sönderby wrote to him.
- You're mad. Let me go!

Oh, look.
Your teddy bear is torn.

Don't worry.
I'll sew him up tomorrow.

It'll just take a second.

We said no fighting in front of the kids.
Remember that.

Whatever happens,
no fighting in front of the kids.

Don't turn the light out.

Mommy, you can't.

- What time is it?
- 10:30.

The fog will be awful tonight.

Sounds like it.

Remember what Sönderby said?

"Sounds like a bunch of cows
in a freight car."

What's this?

I don't like you
looking at me like that,

like you're comparing.

Maybe I am.

Can't we be nice
to each other again?

Why can't we talk
about anything anymore?

It's not worth the effort.

No, leave me alone.
It's disgusting.

I can't help it.
I think it's revolting!

Stop blubbering.
No one can hear you.

I've tried.

I've done my best.

I've never accused you or blamed you.

I've always tried to understand you.

So it's my fault?

I've never asked questions.

Why ask questions
about what doesn't concern you?

- You and Nelly doesn't concern me?
- Not really.

Keep your moral indignation to yourself.
I'm not interested.

Why?

If you're not careful, you step
in dog shit and can't shake it off.

How dare you!

You're one to talk.

Before we met,
there were men all around you.

You were even
with that revolting Marcel.

That was before the kids.
Don't they mean anything?

There were others before them,
but you got rid of them.

Now I'm sorry I insisted
when you didn't want children.

You see?

Yes, I see.

I see what we've become.

I know what the problem is.

We both think
life has passed us by.

We've both been struck
by a moment of clarity...

and with clarity comes disgust.

It's a natural consequence.

We've argued and been nasty
to each other before,

but we just had to reach out,
and it was fine again.

It was a great sense of security.

Now we've discovered
there's no such thing as security.

Remember what you said here
our first night together?

The main thing is
to become a real person.

We said a lot of things back then.

- It was the truth.
- It was all lies.

That morning I came home
with my hand cut,

that's when my clarity began.

It was so unbearable that
I put my hand through a window

so I'd give up my dream
of being a soloist.

I stood there with a bloody hand
and thought how stupid I was.

"Why doesn't someone laugh
at this second-rate musician

who won't accept his mediocrity?"

Me, me, me!
Can't you hear how pitiful you sound?

My apologies.
We won't talk about it again.

I'll go to Grandmother's.
It's better for the kids there too.

- Where will you get the money?
- From you.

- I don't have any.
- That's strange.

- I gave it to you last week.
- For phone and rent.

- There was always enough before.
- You want to see receipts?

- You never set anything aside.
- Get an advance like everyone else.

I already did.

You must have other expenses...

- It's my money!
- Not when it's for the household.

In any case, I have no money
for your hastily planned trip.

We're poor and can't afford
expenses of an emotional nature.

- And the money you give to Nelly?
- Shut up!

- What kind of tone is that?
- It's just like yours!

- A mistress costs money.
- A fixed rate is more honest.

- You're so crude.
- And you're so sensitive.

Must have been hard
with someone like Marcel.

How can you have
a lover anyway?

You perform
the bare minimum required.

- That's your fault.
- Of course.

I was naïve to expect fidelity.
- Stop it, Marta.

You need an outlet
for your artistic temperament.

Nelly's better at nurturing
your misunderstood genius.

Can't be easy for the poor girl!

Forgive me, Marta.
Forgive me.

The last part was my fault.
I'm to blame.

Forgive me anyway.

But I won't forgive the rest.

I'll find the money for the trip

if I have to beg for it
in the streets.

Don't touch me!

You disgust me so much,
I'd like to spit in your face!

Fine.

If that's how you want it.

I'll ask Sönderby for the money.
It'll be nice to be rid of you.

"The doctor says it's a stroke,

but I know Nelly poisoned me."

- Do you think he's suffering?
- Probably.

Good.

I hope he's in such pain
he can't stop screaming.

He can't scream.
He's paralyzed.

That's the best part.

You must hate him.

He'll be dead soon.

Sometimes it's like a dream.

I'm scared of him.

Sometimes at night I think
he'll come beat me or strangle me.

I almost believe
you really did poison him.

I often thought I should.

What's he done to you?

What's he done to me?

He just exists.
I'm dependent on him.

I don't know.
- You can divorce him.

Where would I go?

No one cares about me.

Because you're so damned nasty
and lack any human emotions.

I think it's cold.

It's 13 below.

You go in.
He can't stand the sight of me.

What's wrong with you?
Hung over?

Is there nothing else on
besides organ music?

Mikael likes it.

You shouldn't drink like that.

"You shouldn't drink like that."

If you weren't so stupid,

I might point out
that I'm always smartly dressed.

- And so?
- Take that idiot Stig. How he suffers!

He thinks life is terrible
and you're disgusting.

He's washed up
and can't face his own failure.

That's why he cheats on his wife
and runs around disheveled and dirty.

- He's in there with Mikael.
- So let him hear!

I drink, you say?

I do my job.
I'm handsome and well-behaved.

I'm polite and friendly,
and I live my life!

And in the meantime,
I'm damned happy.

I think I'll go in and sleep.

It's all one can do on a Sunday.

You coming?

"I'm a bastard,
and I've gotten what I deserve.

But you better watch out, Stig."

Mikael, I'm leaving now
and never coming back.

I'm grateful for everything
you taught me, but I can't stay.

I don't want to be like you three.

Only one person can help me,
and that's Marta.

Dear Marta,
I'm sure you're surprised

after not hearing from me
for three months.

I had to write because things
have happened to me.

It's as if I suddenly understood
what a fool I've been.

I realize how I've squandered
the only thing of value in life.

Dear Stig, when I got your letter,
I was very worried at first.

I could feel how alone you've been,

and how hard it's been
in many ways.

I reread your letter many times,

and I could sense that
something important has happened.

I too have been thinking,

and now I know
we'll never get divorced.

That would be a terrible mistake.

And though I won't be coming home,
I long foryou.

My dearest darling Marta,

your words made me so happy
I almost started to cry.

One hides so many feelings.

I did with you and the kids,
because it hurt too much,

or maybe I didn't understand
how much all of you mean to me.

I want you to come get us soon.

There's so much to plan
for the summer, isn't there?

Darling, writing feels
so strange and stupid.

There's so much I'd like to say,

but it looks silly
and sentimental on paper.

I've tried, believe me.

By the way, we don't need
to talk when we meet.

I know just how to show you
what you mean to me.

Can you guess?

Come soon...

This train is so slow!
I'd like to jump off and run alongside it.

Maybe I'd help it up the hill.

It'll be so strange
to hear her say...

"You can be so silly sometimes,"

or "You sure you washed
your ears properly?"

Or to sit in the kitchen after a concert
and eat right from the cupboard,

drinking vodka and joking
and not saying a serious word.

Quite pretty.

And I'm so tan.

And you can't tell
I didn't sleep last night.

Silly girl!
I'm just going to meet my husband.

We got fed up with each other,

yet now everything is new... new!

Newly cleansed and polished.

How fun it will be to cook again,

to be master of my own kitchen,
to sleep in our own bed.

To feel his warmth
as he sleeps beside me.

Never to be alone again.

Never again.

That mouth of hers,
so delicious and soft to kiss.

I love her body too.
The smooth skin of her shoulders.

Her breasts that never
recovered from the kids

but are so sensitive,
like living beings.

The fine hair on her neck,

the soft curves of her belly,

her waist so narrow
I can wrap my hands around it.

I love her because we've struck
each other and hurt each other,

but also for the thousand nights

of joy and utter pleasure
we've shared.

SOME YEARS LATER

You've been naughty,
so you can't come

when we go see Grandmother.

We'll catch really big fish,

and I'll keep one in the bathtub
and teach it how to talk.

Fish can't talk.

You can teach them.

Mom, Lasse's lying!

Stig, would you call for a taxi?

Dad, Lasse's lying.

No, he's just making things up.

Why shouldn't a fish be able to talk?
You never know.

Could you send a taxi
to Prästgatan 7B?

Ericsson.

Miss! It has to be big.

There are four people
and lots of bags and stuff.

That's right.

What do you want?

Ask Sönderby over this evening.

There's mineral water in the fridge.

I'm going to be lonely.

No, you're not.

You'll be just fine.

Thanks very much.

The kids can go on their own.
You should stay with me.

You're silly.
What would Grandmother say?

You're taking enough stuff
to last till Judgment Day.

You needn't come to the station.
I can get a porter.

- What's this? A bomb?
- No, it's a kerosene stove.

- You're taking a stove?
- Yes, it's better that way.

We'll cook our own meals
in the cottage

and not bother the old folks.

Go ahead and sigh,

but you'll approve
when you come join us.

- You need a haircut.
- It's awful. Hair gets all over everything.

- If you came along, I could cut it.
- I'll be along later.

- Strange how I always miss you.
- What's strange about that?

We've been married so long.

Lasse, don't lick the window.
It's dirty.

You'll have nice weather.

Looks like spring's coming.

- Won't this train ever leave?
- Anxious to get rid of us?

It just always feels so silly
standing on the platform.

Good-bye.

We'll catch a fish that can talk!

I heard what happened.

I'm... I mean...

You don't...

You don't have to come to work
if you don't want to.

It's better to keep working.

Very well.

As you like.

Don't touch me.

The cellos and basses
should sing like blazes!

It's about joy, you see.

Not the joy expressed in laughter...

or the joy that says,
"I'm happy."

What I mean is a joy...

so great, so special...

that it lies beyond pain
and boundless despair.

It's a joy...

beyond all understanding.

I can't explain it any better.