Original subtitles

[knocking] Let's go have a little drink.

What's that? Wife's wedding present?

Let me in there... I wanna get in first!

[partygoers chatter]

All right, chaps? How are ya, eh? God bless.

- Have a drink, eh? - Thanks mate.

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, cheers.

[no audible dialogue]

♪ [wedding band performs I WENT TO YOUR WEDDING] ♪

♪ Your dreams, your dreams are through ♪

♪ You walked down the aisle ♪

♪ Wearing a smile, a vision ♪

♪ of loveliness ♪

♪ I uttered a sigh Then said goodbye ♪

♪ Said goodbye to my happiness ♪

♪ The tears they are flowing ♪

♪ Because I was losing you ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You walked down the aisle ♪

♪ Wearing a smile ♪

♪ A vision of loveliness ♪

- What do you think you're doing? - What's he doing?

[music stops, crashing sounds]

[commotion] Goodbye!

- [Barry] Look after the gear! - [Daniels] Watch him!

[commotion continues]

[metallic clanging]

[no audible dialogue]

♪ [HOW DOES IT FEEL by SLADE] ♪

♪ How does it feel Runnin' around, 'round, 'round? ♪

♪ How does it feel Watchin' from upside-down? ♪

♪ 'Cos many years from now ♪

♪ There will be new sensations ♪

♪ And new temptations ♪

♪ How does it feel? ♪

♪ How does it feel Right at the start? ♪

♪ And how does it feel ♪

♪ When you are thrown apart? ♪

♪ 'Cos many years from now There will be new elations ♪

♪ And new frustrations How does it feel? ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Do you know, know, know What it's like to be searching ♪

♪ And suddenly find All your illusion, all your confusion ♪

♪ All left behind? ♪

♪ How does it feel ♪

♪ Turnin' away? ♪

♪ And how does it feel ♪

♪ Facing another day? ♪

♪ 'Cos many years from now There will be newer poisons ♪

♪ And new horizons ♪

♪ How does it feel? Oh, oh ♪

♪ Ohhh! ♪ [door shuts]

They was 'round for you dinner time. Said you were six weeks behind.

Said they'd be back Friday, so you'd better have your pay handy.

Can't expect us to keep them off your back forever!

- Did you hear what I said? He wants those drums back. - Well he ain't having them.

- [Charlie's mum] Where do you think you're going with that lot then? - [Charlie] Out.

[Charlie's mum] Out? You haven't even been in yet!

Say hello to your father.

Hello to your father! [bird chirps]

[drumming]

Next!

♪ [ONLY ONE WOMAN by THE MARBLES plays] ♪

[drumming continues]

[Daniels] Next!

Not your actual Gene Krupa, is he?

- Who's she? - Before your time.

Next!

- Eh, who's this cat? - Oh, that's Russell.

Shut up!

Wasn't that all right, then?

- You on the phone? - Not really. - Sorry.

- How's it going then? - Load of old rubbish.

- Just say your name's Gene Krupa. - Who?

- [snorts] Is that it then? - Well I thought you'd have some.

Look, son, if I had a drum kit, I'd have a drummer behind it, wouldn't I?

[laughs] You could lose anything, Jack. [Paul laughs]

I tell you what. What we need is a drummer with a kit like that.

[bingo announcer] All the threes, thirty three. One and four, fourteen.

All the eights, two fat ladies. [crowd cheers]

Get on then. This is it!

Oi! Round the back!

- Hey look I'm sorry, Gordon. - Out! Go on, out.

Oh no look, Gordon, is that nice? House!

Sorry!

- Hello, love, hiya. Is he in? - You'll have to wait. Mr Harding's busy.

Hello, my darling. What you doing then? Straining your brains? [laughs]

How do you spell 'genius'?

[coins tumbling]

Hey, what you doing? That's Mr Harding's money. Put it back!

[Harding] I'm sorry they called you down the nick, John.

I'd assure ya, it won't happen again.

You get any other little problems just give me a call.

Mr Harding, I need to introduce you to my drummer, Charlie. Charlie introduce your...

- Not now! - But Mr Harding, what about me gigs?

- Busy man? - [scoffs] Oh yes, he's very busy.

Thanks, Mrs B. Two pubs, four socials,

and the bloody Jackoranda Club.

- Not a bad week though. - Not a bad month.

See ya, love. Come on, Charlie!

[Daniels] That's me with Del Shannon, when I was playing bass. Hey they were the days. [laughs]

- That's Bill Haley and me, on the first UK tour. - Oh mum was a great fan of his!

- Where are you? - Down the front, one of the stewards.

Ah yes, they're early days. As I've always said, Charlie,

when you've been in this business as long as I have, you start to learn to take the rough with the...

[Angie laughs] ...smooth.

Here we are, Charlie. Your first gig. The Jackoranda Club.

Shall we go round the back?

All right lads, get all the gear out. I'll sort out Woolley.

- [Paul] Don't push yourself, mate! - [Barry] No chance!

[Frank coughing] Hello, Frank.

- Got a nice 30 minutes for you tonight, Mr Woolley. - You got 60 minutes or no pay.

- Cut that P.J. Proby rubbish out. - Come on, Mr Woolley, you know me.

- Yeah, you're in there. - All right.

[Stoker] Here he comes. The King of Rock'n'Roll! Give him a big hand!

[band laughing] Oh bloody Nora.

How's the beanstalk, Jack? Still growing? [laughter]

Shit!

- Who've I just seen then? - Not your mate, Elvis. - Bloody Roy Priest!

- [Paul] Who? - The Undertakers. Them who got at my stage suit at the Commodore Club.

Yeah, best part of the act!

[Daniels] Eh, Barry, come 'ere. Come on!

[JACK DANIELS & THE D.T.s play IN THE MIDNIGHT HOUR] ♪ I'm gonna wait 'til the midnight hour ♪

♪ 'Til my love comes a tumblin' down ♪

♪ Gonna wait 'til the midnight hour ♪

♪ Oh when there's no one else around ♪

[tyre hissing]

- Try not to nod off again, eh? - So when do you want me to come out then?

Same as always. After four verses, right?

- Where's Dodger? - Gone for a pony.

Tell him to move his arse, you're on in two minutes.

- All right? - Yeah. - Come on.

♪ I'm gonna take you, girl, and hold ya ♪

♪ And do all the things I told ya In the midnight hour ♪

♪ Oh yes I will ♪

♪ Waah, ooh Gonna wait 'til the stars come out ♪

♪ And see that twinkle... ♪

[hurriedly] Thank you very much indeed ladies and gentlemen it was really wonderful to be here. This is Jack Daniels saying...

[song ends abruptly]

- Thank you and goodnight. - Piss off. - Up yours.

Well boys and girls, while they're clearing the stage I've got one or two announcements to make...

[Woolley continues in background]

- All right, fellas? - All right?

- Hey, Roy. - What. - Will you do me a favour?

- What's that then? - Next time you're going past the crematorium, will you burn this lot? [laughs]

- Piss off, will ya? - What's the problem here?

Oh nothing at all, Mr Woolley. No I'm just teaching my, uh, fellow artistes a bit of respect.

- Just, uh... just the matter of fifteen pounds, Mr Woolley. - Fifteen arseholes.

[ghoulish laughter]

♪ [THIS GIRL by THE UNDERTAKERS intro plays] ♪

♪ A cute little ghoul called Colleen ♪

♪ Whose curls were a bright shade of green ♪

♪ When asked how she dyed it She simply replied ♪

♪ "It just comes from the juice of my spleen" ♪

Oof! Sorry love. 'Ere, come hold of my gear!

♪ The life of a vampire ain't good ♪

♪ They'd have tasty meals if they could ♪

♪ They give you a peck on the side of your neck ♪

♪ Cos what helps them excel is warm blood ♪

♪ They laughed when I took my first flight ♪

♪ The moon wasn't shining too bright ♪

♪ Some beautiful throats made my little eyes gloat ♪

♪ Cos our teeth only come out at night ♪

Ten quid for a talent like ours. It's a bloody crime!

Ten quid for a talent like yours is a bloody miracle! [laughter]

Hey, Barry. Share that out will you?

[chuckles] Did you fix Priest?

Did I fix him? [laughter]

♪ Happy hunting all you sweet sinners All you losers, all you winners ♪

♪ Find your own peace of mind ♪

♪ Happy hunting all you livewires All you laughers, all you criers ♪

♪ Am I being unkind? ♪

Hold up! What you doing in there?

- I'm trying to get out! - Yeah?

- Come on! - Hang about, I'm doing me best!

Here, the bastard thing's locked!

[tyre bursts]

What the bloody hell was that?

Poxy bastards!

- Is it flat? - Is it bloody flat? It's as flat as a witch's tits!

[audience clapping, whistling] Come on now, settle down a bit. Settle down.

All right, Stoker! Hang on to your equipment!

Where is he?

[horn blares]

Two gallons, chief. All right?

Check the tyres will ya, mate?

- Oi! - New ones!

Come on, we're gonna lose them!

Right that's, uh, one egg and chips, 3/2.

Oh and five teas, 1/3. Oh and the two new tyres are a fiver a piece.

Well that's three quid each! Don't worry about the rest, though, you see, I'll make it up.

You can all pay me back later.

- Pay ya back? - Yeah, well, share and share alike.

- How come we always have to pay for your cockups? - Well who else is gonna pay?

- How about The Undertakers? - Yeah! [laughs]

Angie!

There's the car! They must be inside!

- Hey, have you left a tip? - Don't push!

- What's the hurry? - Come on! - Watch out for the bricks!

Thanks very much me old son! Good luck.

- Here! It's fifteen quid. - Come on, let's go! - That's all right, you can keep the change!

The back! Round the back!

Quick! They're bloody coming!

♪ [THIS GIRL reprise] ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Come on, Stoker, get a bloody move on! - I'm moving! What's the matter with ya?

- Come on, it must go faster than this! - It won't go any faster.

♪ ♪

Come on Jacko, you old tart. They're all over our backside!

[all exclaiming] ...it's flat on the floor!

He's driving like a madman!

[police radio chatter]

- [Barry] Can't you turn off? [all exclaiming] - [Charlie] Bleedin' hell!

- [Barry] Stupid bastard! - [Daniels] It's burning!

[Daniels] Lads! I'm bleeding.

You're bleeding lucky I'm there then, Jack.

- [Daniels] Get me out, Stoker. - [Paul] Get the gear!

[Daniels] Charlie! Get me out!

- [Paul] Get the gear! - [Stoker] Give us a hand, Roy!

[Stoker] I think he's gonna faint!

Very nice.

[Stoker] Don't know why I'm helping you, son.

[sirens blaring]

For Christ's sake, this thing's on fire! She's all right!

I wish he'd learn to park better.

[sirens blare, tyres skid]

[Stoker] Come on, Jack, have a nice lie down.

- What's going on here? - Women and drums first!

- [Stoker] Nothing, officer! - [Charlie] We do it all the time! - [policeman] Oh really?

[explosion, Angie screams]

[toilet flushing]

[whistles]

All part of life's rich pattern, isn't it Charlie?

[scoffs] Yeah.

Ah, Ron'll get us out of this.

Yeah.

[Paul whistles, Stoker plays the spoons]

Would you mind being quiet in there? I've been trying to get some kip.

Shouldn't bother to wake up, mate!

All right, Rogers and Hammerstein, your fairy godmother's arrived.

Eh listen I don't know anything about this lot, I only come down for a couple of 'em you know.

- Russ, I'm really sorry. - Come on.

- I mean, what's all this lot? - It's not all these.

- Right! Who'd you want? - Well you'd better ask him!

- Him, him. - Not him! - Hey, come on lads, it wasn't all my fault.

- All right, Jack, it's all right. - Ah come on, where do I sign, before I change my mind?

- Come on, let's have you. Come on. - Barry...?

Five quid! You ask Jackie, worth every penny. Ask Jackie, honest as the day is long.

You've got soup bowls, you've got dinner plates. You've got side plates, cups and saucers...

Pudding bowls! Puddin' anybody in the club!

And look at the pattern on these. Never wash off, the pattern on these.

Never. The old man'll never wash 'em off.

Never chip. Smash...

Smash! But they'll never chip!

That's what we call, in the trade, a tea break. [crowd laughing]

- Take over, Jackie, a minute will ya? I'm just going to powder me nose, all right? - Will do, guv.

- How you going, all right? - OK.

- Got rid of him. - I didn't think that'd take too long.

Thought about starting playing again?

Yeah when I jacked it in with The Undertakers, that was it. I make twice as much money doing this lark!

It just wasn't worth it.

So, you not interested then?

Well, maybe. Only semi-pro, though.

- Know any songs there then? - Odds and sods.

- Who's your agent? Still that bloke Harding? - Yeah but he don't give a shit.

- He gets his ten percent. - Ours don't even know we've split up yet! - [scoffs] Typical.

- Come on, Stoker. Put it away! - All right, all right! I'm coming!

Ponce!

- Morning Mr Hayes. - Hello, Angie. - Hello.

- All right, Russ? - Righto, kid. How're you doing? - All right.

'Scuse me, love. Can I? Sorry. Thanks very much.

Here's a quid. I'll give you the rest next week.

Oh, thanks very much.

- You think he can spare it? - He'll manage.

Russ? How d'you fancy being our roadie?

- Your roadie? - Yeah.

- How's the car? I heard it was write-off. - Ah, sort of. But, what do you think?

Listen, you don't want a roadie. You just want me bloody van!

You only asked me to be your drummer 'cos you fancied me sister, right?

- Ah come on. - Well, listen, I'll think about it, OK?

- What does he mean, fancy his sister? - Nothing, Angie. - Oh sounds like bloody nothing!

- I hardly know the girl. - I mean, Julie Hayes, bloody hell! She's such a [van horn honks]

[honking]

- You won't be in on Sunday, will you? - Yeah, should be. Why?

- I've asked Jane and her bloke round. - Ah, not on Sunday. I wanted to stay in.

- You never wanna stay in when I ask you to. - I'm not having them round, they're a pain.

They're my friends!

All right, Stoke?

- So what time will you be home tonight? - Depends on the encores.

- Aren't you coming then? - Nah.

No, I've got other things to do.

- What, you scrubbing floors while your old man's out playing popstars? - Ta-ra.

[Angie] Oh! [laughter]

Hang on a minute!

♪ [STRANGE BREW by CREAM plays] ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, hello Mr Harding!

Come to watch them crumble without you, Jack?

Ah, yeah, no actually I'm waiting for a bird, you see.

- Oh! Sorry. - It's all right, Mr Harding, she'll be a time yet. You know what they're like, eh? [laughs]

Ooh, crap! Russ!

Can you get us a top E? The thin one.

- Oh, uh, would you like a drink, Mr Harding? - Ta, large scotch. Three.

- Where's Ange? - Over there.

[indistinct whispering]

Stoker, I thought you'd never ask!

- Three scotches, please. - Large ones. - Ooh, working now, are we?

- Not having one yourself? - No, not for me Mr Harding. Uh, I don't like to mix things.

Bloody hell, this is tough.

- I wouldn't eat that. - Well, somebody's gotta have it.

[Stoker] Evening, ladies and gentlemen. Now, just before we get started,

the management have requested me to sniff out the owner of these. [wolf whistle]

He's just found them in the gents. Mmm, still warm! She can't be far away.

Now, come on. Don't be shy. We don't want anybody catching cold.

Winter drawers on. [Paul whispers] Really?

Oh it's all right. We just found out they belong to him!

He sleeps in 'em! Over his head!

♪ [intro to THEM KINDA MONKEYS CAN'T SWING by FLAME plays] ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Everywhere has a wheeler and dealer ♪

♪ Raised in the back streets of town ♪

♪ Everywhere has a spieler Who's a clown ♪

- Seventeen and six. - Eh? Oh! Bloody hell.

Put it on me slate? Oh, hang on, love.

- Ee-yar. - Don't fret about it, Jack, I'll do it.

- No, it's all right, Mr Harding. Honest. - Get another for our friend, here.

You don't have to!

Cheers!

♪ And them kinda monkeys can't swing And them birdies can't sing ♪

♪ If them pigs could fly Maybe they'd fly away from me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Everywhere has a ducker and diver Doing his best to impress ♪

♪ Everywhere has a skiver In a mess ♪

♪ Every place has a joker

♪ Every place has a joker and poker ♪

♪ Born with a marked deck of cards ♪

♪ Everywhere place has a smoker In the yards ♪

♪ Them kinda monkeys can't swing ♪

♪ And them birdies can't sing ♪

♪ If them pigs could fly Maybe they'd fly away from me ♪

♪ Them kind monkeys can't swing And them birdies can't sing ♪

♪ If them pigs could fly Maybe they'd fly away from me ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Them kinda monkeys can't swing ♪

♪ And them birdies can't sing ♪

♪ If them pigs could fly Maybe they'd fly away from me ♪

♪ Them kinda monkeys can't swing ♪

♪ And them birdies can't sing ♪

♪ If them pigs could fly Maybe they'd fly away from me ♪

♪ ♪

[crowd cheer and applaud]

[Stoker] Eh, Russ! Russ. See that bird down the front...

[indistinct]

[Stoker] ...I thought you'd have pulled her! Could've had one of them!

- Yeah, well it was me she fancied, like. - Ah, shut up.

- This thing's bloody fixed! - I'll fix you if you don't stop spending my money. - Oh, what? Now? Ohh.

- Eh, pack that in. Pack it in. - Spoilsport.

[sings] ♪ Hello, young lovers, you're under arrest ♪

- Hey, Stokes? - Yeah? - Where'd you get these anyway?

- Well, they're, um... [clears throat] - Feel free, anytime.

- Well, he did ask nicely. - Did he?

- [Angie] Oi! - [Barry] Evening Mr Harding!

- We celebrating, boys? - Drop of the hard stuff, Ron? - Nah.

- What d'you think of it, then? - Personally? Rubbish. Still, the punters seemed to go for it.

- Maybe I can fix next Friday. - I can't make it. I've got a sale in Leicester.

Sale? Come on, Stoke.

Well, I'll do it anyway. How about you, Charlie?

- What? - I'll fix it, Mr Harding.

Listen. If you piss about part-time all your life you're never gonna get any bloody place!

- What bloody place! - Look. You might've been all right tonight

- but don't start getting any fancy ideas. - Excuse me.

- I don't know why you even bother. - You can piss off any time you want.

Oi. You're a good live act, and that's it.

- Excuse me. - That crap you served up tonight, that wasn't music.

You're just second-rate comics working on a third-rate audience.

With a fourth-rate agent copping ten percent!

- I'll handle it. - Yeah, you handle it, Ron!

- D'you want him? - Nah, let him go.

- What's up? - What's up? I'll tell you what's up. You just lost six weeks' work and an agent.

From now on you're all on your bloody own. Come on.

[loud engine rumbling, dog barks]

[knocker raps]

[church bells ring, dog barks]

Ah! Morning!

- [Mrs Stoker] I'm not leaving! I've told 'em, I'm not leaving! - Would you be Mrs Stoker?

And I told the council man, same as I'm telling you: I'm not leaving!

I'm not from the council, Mrs Stoker. I'm from the Seymour Trust.

- Trust? I wouldn't trust you further than I could spit. - Is your son in?

- No. He never come back. - Your grandson?

- Out with his pigeons. - Ah.

Well, look, when he comes back could you give this to him?

- What is it? - Well, it's all explained in the letter, um, Mrs Stoke...

Sorry to have troubled you!

- Eh up? - All right? - OK to come in?

Yeah, you're safe. They're all vegetarians.

[pigeons cooing]

- 'Ere have a look at this. - What is it?

Looks like Harding wasn't the only bloke who was watching the show that night.

Somebody wants to make us rich and famous.

- How'd you get hold of this? - Some bloke put it round the other day.

- Didn't he say anything? - Didn't have much chance. He spoke to Gran.

[Paul laughs] This is knockout!

You keep it! You three can try it

Ah, come on, don't give me that. Aren't you chuffed after one gig?

- Yeah, course I'm chuffed. - Well, why not, then?

Look, the Seymour Trust, the Ron Harding Trust. They're all the same.

It's just that he's got better notepaper, that's all.

Look, don't let that old sod get to ya. This is a real chance.

Look, he's just Ron Harding with another name, that's all. They're all ten percent merchants.

They're all bloody villains. I can live without all that.

Don't you wanna keep playing? Isn't that what it's all about?

I mean old Harding ain't right, you know?

We wanna be a good group, then we've got to be together all the time.

If this comes off, there'll be no more doing fifteen quid gigs for ponces like him.

It'll be down to us what we wanna do.

Just think of it! Think of the equipment!

The Albert Hall! Saturday night! A thousand watts! [imitates power chord]

Fantastic!

Stoker, we've got nothing to lose! They're asking us!

[Stoker] Shit! [Paul laughs]

[quietly] Excuse me? Could you tell me where the toilet is, please?

I'm sorry?

The toilet.

[loudly] Going for a piss.

- Tickets please. - Russ? Tickets? - Barry? Tickets. Come on.

- Tickets please. - Barry? Tickets.

This is a first class compartment, you know.

- We're first class people. - Perhaps you'll try and behave like it.

Hippies. Tickets please.

- Thank you. - 'Scuse me.

Sorry.

- You with this lot? - Yep. - All right. Watch it.

I'll be back.

- Fried eggs, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, tomatoes, mushrooms? - Yes please!

- What are they? - Kidneys, sir. - No, thanks. Can I have another egg?

- Eh! Pass the Perrins, son! - It's empty.

I'm afraid we can't really afford to start changing the campaign at this stage.

- Do you realise that it involves... - OK, fine.

Let's forget it, then. [phone rings]

- I'm sure we can work out some sort of compromise. There seems to be no reason why... - No no no. No.

- There's no room for compromise, Mike. - It's your wife.

- Should I ask her to call back? - No! I'll take it.

Hello? No no no, that's all right. Have you taken her to the dentist?

Did she cry? [tuts] Yes.

She obviously takes after you.

Yes. No, I'm glad you phoned. Uh, about eight, I think, hm. Yep, OK, bye.

Listen, I'd be happy to put you in touch with another agency.

They'll simply do what you ask, at a fraction of the price we charge.

- [huffs] It's not a question of the price. - No, I'm sorry. We can't handle the account. unless we have a completely free hand.

- Well, I'm sure we ought to be able to. work out some way... - Listen.

Let's meet again when you've had time to think this over. All right?

All right, if that's the way...

- Do you think England will be all right by lunch? - Pardon? - Now that Cowdrey's out?

Oh yeah, I'd think so. If the weather holds.

Tiresome bloody man, he could never make up his mind. Anyway, how about this lot? How'd they take it?

Like all the rest, thought I was joking.

- What have you told them? - I've told them that you've heard the tapes.

- You like the look of them, and the least they can expect is a free ride home. - Hmm.

Are you really sure they're what you're looking for?

I think so.

- What's the next move? - Oh, record, I think.

And then I can throw some weight about for air time.

D'you want me to take them out there?

We'll see.

[Seymour] Hello.

At last we meet!

- [Tony] This is Robert Seymour. - I take it Tony's explained what we have in mind?

I assume you have no objections.

- Why us? - Pardon? - Why us?

Uh, this is Russell Hayes, Robert. Uh, he drives the van and shifts around the equipment.

- They did request for him to be included. - He's the roadie.

I see.

I think it's rather more a question of, "Why them?"

than, "Why us?", as far as you're concerned? Hm?

Basically, what I have in mind is this:

That with the right management, we can turn the group into a success.

Since it's their wish, you're welcome to be involved for the present.

- Still the roadie. - That's what I said.

Anything else?

Right. Tony will put you in the picture as to where we go from here.

But, uh, do you actually like what we do?

My personal preference really doesn't come into it.

Let me put it this way:

I don't smoke cigarettes, but I manage to sell a few.

All right?

You see, it's all a matter of packaging, Paul.

- Packaging, promotion. - I'm not a bloody fish finger! [Tony laughs]

Yes, but that's part of the problem. They're a well-known commodity.

You're unknown, and there are thousands to choose from.

We're just gonna make you stand out a little.

[loud sea breeze]

[Tony instructs photographer indistinctly]

[radio announcer] We should get a high today of something like 58 degrees.

Let's face it everyone, this is an absolute optimist.

The winds are north to northeast, and that's the Radio City weather!

♪ [Radio City jingle] ♪

You're listening to The Ricky Storm Show on Radio City

and as every time, every time, we give you the sounds first.

We've got a band coming up on the station this afternoon, they're by the name of Flame.

You're gonna hear them, absolutely talking live on the air.

But here's their new record, called 'So Far, So Good'.

[SO FAR, SO GOOD by FLAME plays] ♪ For twenty-odd years ♪

♪ I've taken everything that's bad ♪

♪ So twenty-odd years I've wanted things I've never had ♪

♪ Oh, was it all in my mind? ♪

♪ Is it living the life... ♪

[music plays in background] They're here.

Don't do that.

♪ So far, so good ♪

♪ Doing what we could ♪

♪ Taking chances ♪

♪ Those chances And I'm alive ♪

♪ So far, so good ♪

♪ Doing what we should ♪

♪ Taking chances, those chances ♪

Come on, then.

♪ ♪

Hello, lads. Welcome to Radio City! Our great big palace in the sky.

- Have a good trip? Get your legs back? - Never left them anywhere. [Ricky laughs]

- Just feel sick. - Anywhere! But not on the turntables, please.

- Anyone fancy a drink? - Yeah!

- Nathan, get 'em a Coke or a beer. - Got anything hot? - Hot water bottle.

OK, make that, uh, seven coffees.

No, make it eight, Nathan. I'll take one myself, OK?

- How's Seymour? - Fine, fine.

Uh, he's made out a list of questions

for you to ask the boys. Starting with Paul. That one, there.

- God, you don't really want me to read all this, do you? - Yeah, course I do.

- It's the same old crap. - Look, I know...

OK, stand by, studio!

And you're listening to The Ricky Storm Show! Right here on the Tower of Power.

There you have it! That's the new record by Flame. And as I promised you earlier on

in the afternoon, and I never let you down, let's face it. Here they are in the studio.

Hi, lads. Welcome to Radio City! Would you like to introduce yourselves?

- I'm Stoker. - I'm Paul.

- I'm Barry. - I'm seasick. [Ricky laughs]

Now, um, Paul: is it true that you're the creative force behind the group?

Uh, nah.

Stoker, give me an honest answer on this one:

This is your first record and it's gone down remarkably well.

How do you feel about it going down so well?

A few of us are more worried about what's coming up at the moment. [laughter]

Any chance of seeing you guys on television in the near future?

Uh, well, hopefully, um, yeah. Definitely.

That's good. Something to look forward to there.

You'll see them on television soon.

But television this isn't. This is Radio City!

Let's hear the B-side of their new record.

It's called 'Heaven Knows'.

And I'm sure it does.

[HEAVEN KNOWS by FLAME plays] ♪ Caught between the jungle ♪

♪ And the stars ♪

[loud gunshot and ricochet noise]

This is unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable! [gunfire continues]

Somebody's shooting at us!

[gunfire]

Get down! For God's sake, get down!

Radio City is under attack!

This is Ricky Storm with the microphone over at Radio City.

Oh God, we're under attack! We're under attack!

This is Radio City under attack!

- For God's sake... - Mention the bloody group!

[indistinct chat]

- Yes, I wish it were as easy as this at Gratton Water. - Gratton?

Isn't it a little oversubscribed?

Robert, um...

I think I ought to tell you that the board...

Not too keen on the idea.

- No? - And frankly

neither am I.

Well, I know your reasons.

I know you can influence the market a lot with your radio involvement.

But, uh...

It really isn't the sort of thing we want to get tied up in, is it?

- Apart from the initial capital, of course. - Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

I don't need to remind you that a merchant bank can lose a lot of the market's confidence

on what might seem a perfectly sound investment.

But you must understand, Robert,

in no way must our name be associated with the venture.

Otherwise we shall all look bloody silly. Uh?

[Tony] Keep your heads down!

Let's just get out of here!

- [Stoker] I'm not gettin' in that! - [Tony] Don't worry, we'll follow!

[Seymour] And Mr Montmorankendale thanked her for making his leg better,

and asked her home for tea [both] and muffins!

[car pulls up in driveway]

They're coming, they're coming. I've got to go.

- Some place! - Flag's down. She must be out.

Hello! Hello, come in, come in. Let's give your things to Gabriela.

- Bit scruffy, you know. - You brighten the place up.

You've had quite a time of it out there, I hear!

- We were shot at! Real bullets, you know. - Yes, I know!

Just been reading about it. Extraordinary. You are front page news.

- Well, who was it? Anybody we know? - [laughs] I don't think so.

It's a nice bit of free publicity.

What, being shot in the arse from some stinking boat? Who needs it?

You need it! No, you need it!

Come and meet everyone! In you come.

- Ah, Tony. Anyone hurt? - No, actually. - Good.

Judy! Now come and meet these gentlemen.

- Barry, Paul, Charlie. - Hello.

Stoker. And Russell, the road manager. And Maggie.

- Angie! - Angie! Angie. My wife, Judy. - Hello.

- Now, let's have a drink. This calls for celebration. - What, us nearly getting killed?

No, the fact that we've probably sold another twenty thousand records.

I'll have a rum and black, ta.

- Darling. - Hmm? - A rum and black.

- Erm. - Now why don't you come meet everyone?

Yes, uh, whiskey? Why don't you help yourselves?

Stoker, there's someone I'd like you to meet.

Brian. Stoker, this is Brian Sommers.

He'll be handling your publicity in the future.

Brian, this is Stoker, who is the vocalist for the group.

- I'm not the vocalist, I'm the singer. - Well, how do you do? - I'm all right.

I think we ought to organise some sort of photocall for the press shortly.

Something flame-orientated, hm? You know, something to do with fire, burning.

How about a picture of us sliding down a greasy pole in a fire station?

- Yes, that's an idea! - In the nude, maybe. - Hmm.

- Give us a drink, Russ, will ya? - Excuse me.

[television announcer] There'll be an emergency session of the United Nations security council tomorrow.

The battle for the pirate radio stations

entered a new phase today

when armed men attacked Radio City

which is transmitting from the old wartime forts

in the Thames Estuary.

Although there were no casualties, the rock group Flame had a narrow escape

and they had to be airlifted from the fort

by helicopter. A spokesman for the Ministry of Defence says

that although the forts have...

[loud gushing]

- Your brainwave, wasn't it, Stoker? - I was only joking, I never though he'd take me seriously!

- This your idea? - Yeah! But I was only kidding!

- Still, good publicity! - [Paul] That all you think about? Getting your face in the papers?

- Oh, that's enough, uh, I think gentlemen. Thank you, Tony. - Yes, OK fellas.

- [Seymour] They've got to get to the BBC in 20 minutes so... - Listen, fellas, we must get moving.

Now then, I've laid on Disc and Jackie for Friday morning.

- But we must get Susie Magazine done tomorrow. - Oh screw Susie...

Listen now, I'm thinking about a million pairs of potential wet knickers.

[photographer] Look at me, this way! Head up a fraction! That's it! Lovely.

Look, do we have to spend all our lives dressed up as bonfires for him?

- [Paul] Haven't you got enough? - [Seymour] Thank you very much.

Where's Russ? I sent him out bloody hours ago.

Calm down, calm down. Don't... look, Barry. Will you listen to me, please?

Don't look at the cameras. Keep your eyes on the kids on the floor.

It's all on the playback, so you don't even have to sing.

Just concentrate on looking good, all right?

- Where the hell have you been? - Sorry, but I've been looking everywhere for this.

That's all they, all they, that's all they had...

- This is the wrong colour! - Well that's all they had, I'm telling you! They're all closed round 'ere.

I've been miles looking for that.

- Well listen, do you want it or not? - No, I don't!

[photographer] This way, Barry. [shutter clicks]

Still worth the money, Russell?

[crowd chants] We want Flame! We want Flame! We want Flame!

♪ [STANDIN' ON THE CORNER by FLAME plays] ♪

♪ Standin' on the corner Handbag on her thigh ♪

♪ Standin' in the shadows Givin' all the boys the eye ♪

♪ Does anybody wanna try? ♪

[Paul inaudible]

♪ Standin' on the corner Handbag on her hip ♪

♪ Standin' in the doorway Givin' all the boys some lip ♪

♪ Does anybody wanna dip? ♪

♪ So look out now, 'cos I might be over tonight ♪

♪ She's a sure shinin', shimmy shootin' ♪

♪ High-falutin, rootin'-tootin' baby, yeah ♪

♪ And she's found herself a shimmy-shootin' high-falutin, rootin'-tootin' man ♪

- Smoke? - No, thanks. I was looking for a menthol one.

They're lovely.

I can't understand why Paul doesn't bring them home.

- The cleaners 'ave 'em. - It's a shame.

- Why don't you go and watch the boys? - Oh, Paul always gets embarrassed if he sees me up the front.

[Charlie's mum] Julie! Nice to see you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[crowd screams]

All right, mum? Enjoy the show?

- Ooh yeah, it's a bit loud, love. - Rock'n'roll. Listen, have you got everything you want?

[Stoker] If you're gonna ponce around like a bleedin' fairy

- do it without pulling my bloody leads out, all right? - Piss off! I never came near ya!

- [Hamish] Come one, boys, you're doing another one! - Who said so?

Mr Seymour...

Get my old guitar.

[crowd chants]

- Come on, Charlie. - [Charlie's mum] Where're you all off to now?

Back in a minute. All right, Julie?

[crowd cheering]

All right, all right, thank you very much.

You've been really great tonight!

Have you had a great night out? [crowd cheers]

- Yeah? - [crowd] Yeah! - Yeah?

[crowd cheers] Yeah!

We used to come swimming down here before the war.

Look at it. You wouldn't believe it, would you?

- Better than this, was it? - No it weren't a bloody sight worse.

More turds in it than fish.

Or there would've been if you could've seen 'em. Going by like bloody coal barges.

- What d'you come down here for, then? - Beggars can't be choosers, mate.

We never had any money for the baths.

Used to spend it all on fags when we'd got any.

What's brought you back, anyway?

Don't tell me you can't stay away from that pressurised gnat's piss we've been drinking.

- Oh, Barry's having his 21st birthday celebration. - You what? Barry, 21?

Again. Ah, it's one of Mr Seymour's promotions.

Heh, I'm in the wrong game, aren't I?

- I wouldn't mind getting a couple of years. younger every now and again. - Yeah.

Like a bloody bunch of Peter Pans us lot, though.

Get in close you'll see the strings moving!

Hey, you're doing all right, aren't you?

It's what you wanted to do.

I dunno, it ain't the same any more.

Make a few records, that bit's OK.

Rest of the time, bunch of bleedin' gangsters in dinner jackets.

What d'you do, though? Whole scene's run like it.

Well, if you don't want to get out, there's only one thing you can do.

Let 'em get on with it. Let 'em all take themselves to pieces if they feel like it.

You won't change anything by doing it to yourself. Nobody ever does.

So what happens to me in the meantime?

You'll survive, Charlie.

You aren't doing badly now, as far as I can make out.

Tell you what, why don't you come to the party tomorrow night?

I'll let you meet a couple of them vultures. Break open a bottle of Babycham together.

Yeah, all right. I'm a bit old to get discovered, though, aren't I?

Oh, they'll soon fix that for ya. Ta-ra, Harold!

Cheerio! What a bleedin' summer.

♪ [crowd faintly singing FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW] ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ And so say all of us! ♪

[cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen

this is a special day. Not only for Barry.

Although it is his very special day

but for all the boys.

Some of you have known these four young men since their childhood.

For others of us, their friendship has flourished overnight.

But there is one thing that links us all together,

that is our faith in the ability and integrity

of these four young men.

- Hear, hear! - They have not let us down.

Now, on behalf of the recording company

I've been given the honour

to present to them for a quarter of a million sales

of their fifth record

this silver disc! [cheering and applause]

[indistinct chatter and applause]

Right! Free drinks! Everybody get stuck in.

[Daniels] Well you could say that, uh, I, yeah, I gave them their first break!

You could put that down, couldn't you, really?

Mr Seymour? I'd like you to meet me old boss, Harold.

- Harold? Mr Seymour. - Oh, pleased to meet you.

How do you do?

- He's a good boy! Yeah, he's a good boy! - I've just seen somebody I know. I'm just gonna have a chat to him.

Good boy! Good boy, Charlie!

Eh, I tell you, I know summat about bands.

- Oh? - Harry Roy was in our unit during the war.

- I played with him once or twice. - Really? - 'Hold That Tiger'.

And, uh, 'Somebody Stole My Gal'. [imitates trombone]

- They deserved a break. - Yes.

- Should I top you up? - Thanks. I uh... I was gonna

- suggest we had a little tête-to-tête one morning. - Oh.

About the boys' future.

- You mean they didn't tell ya? - Tell me what?!

They're under contract to me, Mr Seymour. Exclusive.

- Oh! - What about ten o'clock, Monday morning?

Shall we say four o'clock, Monday afternoon?

- Cheers! - Cheers!

- Are you 35 or 36, Mr Daniels? - Eh?

- You don't think anyone will take offence, with our deserting them like this? - No.

They're all busy scoffing free booze to notice.

- Anyway, somebody's got to.. - Not now, love.

Mr Seymour! Hey, look, you're not going just yet, are ya?

I mean, uh, it's just getting warmed up in there

and I was hoping to have a little chat with ya.

Yes, well, Mr Seymour is rather busy. Perhaps another time.

Look, I suppose the lads told you about me, eh? Jack Daniels?

- They used to be my backing group for quite some time. - Ah, yes.

- I'm very interested in working alongside... - Perhaps you could get in touch with our London office.

It's all right, Tony, no. It seems to be why we were up here.

- Um, Mr Daniels? - Yes? - Can we give you a lift somewhere?

Eh? Well, yeah.

Uh, thanks very much! Why not?

- Makes you realise just how bad it was now all the stuff's gone that is. - It never looked bad to me.

Ah, come on, Julie. You've got to be grateful to your old man for getting you out of this bloody hole.

You could've been here forever.

What's so bad about that? I liked it here.

Look, shift yer arse if you're not gonna help.

She likes it here. What about you, Paul?

You thinking of taking up a great new career as a milkman or something?

"I gave it all up! My penthouse! My Ferrari."

All because the wife couldn't bear to leave the wallpaper behind.

[quacks]

- Bullshit. - Oh, cut it out, Stoke.

What's the matter with you two? We're making enough money for you to go out and get a decent place with a bit of class

and you're walking round like a couple of zombies.

Look at it. I'd set fire to it.

Oh Flame, Flame, Flame, eh, Stoker?

Nothing but Flame, nothing but a big popstar.

Well, I like it here. And Paul likes it.

In fact, I think we both liked each other a bit better

before you decided to set the world alight with your wonderful pop group.

Look, it was his wonderful idea in the first place, lover.

[Stoker] Ta-ra.

If you can't handle your own success, mate, I'll buy you a milk float to get started.

I owe you that much.

One and four, fourteen.

Eh, have a look at that. Big boy, eh?

[coins tumbling]

What's this all about? I'm supposed to earn out of this, not the punters.

See to it.

[intercom buzzes] Yeah?

- A Mr Seymour to see you. - All right.

See to this, see to them. See to the bloody lot!

Ah, good afternoon, Mr Seymour.

I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Bring in a nice pot of tea and some digestives.

Shall we, uh, go to my office?

Have a seat, make yourself comfortable.

How about one of these mints?

- No, thank you. - I've packed up smoking meself. No good for the old chest.

What, you interested in greyhounds?

Uh, I, I don't really know much about them.

That one up there, a real cracker.

I run her for three seasons at Catford. Wasn't many could beat her.

Yes, I'm sure.

- You were saying about the group. - Well now. What we gonna do?

You tell me.

Well, I've been giving it a lot of thought and

I said to meself, "Fair's fair."

I mean, he's obviously gone to a lot of trouble for these boys

and after all, well, he wasn't to know they were signed up with me.

Just put it on the desk.

I enjoy a nice cup of tea in the afternoon.

- Milk and sugars? - No sugar thank you. [Ron mutters in surprise]

There we are.

So, I come up with what I reckon is a straight down-the-line deal.

You put the boys' business through me, as their agent.

And we split the profit down the middle!

[Seymour inhales] You understand I'm trying to be fair to both of us.

Hmm. Mm. Sounds reasonable.

But I shall have to have a copy of that contract for the board.

No problem!

Make me up copy of that D.T.s contract, will ya?

- D'you like these? - Mm!

Next time you're up in this part of the world, Mr Seymour, we might make an evening of it.

I look forward to it!

Do you have a copy for me?

I don't understand! It's here somewhere.

Where've you put it?

I put it on the desk! It was there on Friday!

Really doesn't matter. You can easily send me a copy.

I must go. Goodbye.

Thank you for the tea.

And the digestives.

- Mr Harding. - Shut up.

- All right. You put it on your desk, then what? - Well, nothing!

I just thought it would still be there!

[Mr Harding] Right. Who's been in here over the weekend?

No one, Mr Harding!

- Just Lenny, and Mr Daniels. - Daniels?

Yes, he came in to pick up his work schedule for Manchester.

[van radio plays faintly] - 'Ere, you nearly finished? I'm bloody freezing.

Why don't you come over here and play with me, instead of the bloody camera?

No, look love, I just wanted another close up, you see... [woman screams]

- [Daniels] What the hell's happening? - Hello, Jack. [screaming continues]

What do you want?

We come visiting, Jack. Mind stepping out a moment?

No! But I'm, uh... But...

- What do you want with me, eh lads? - Fetch him out, Ron, he's shy.

Now, come on, Jack.

See? Hm?

Where is it, Jack?

Where's what? I don't know what you're talking about.

That bit of paper that got stuck to your fingers the other day.

- What bit of paper...? - Mr Harding's bit of paper!

Oh, look, now I don't know what you're talking about, lads. Honest I don't.

[Joe] Eh, Lenny!

Oh dear, Jack. You have gone and been a silly boy.

You've been a silly boy!

- [Lenny] This ain't tainted money, is it? - [Ron] Tainted money?

No, Lenny, that's... That's, that's mine, you see, Lenny. What I cop down the club.

Getting lucky in your old age, Jack.

Don't, Lenny, look. You can keep all the money, eh? Just keep all the money!

That's very good of you, Jack.

- But will that satisfy Mr Harding? - [Ron] Mr Harding.

Where's the contract?

[shivering] I don't know, Lenny.

[sobbing] Honest to God, I don't know.

'Ere, Jack, you ain't got nothing on your feet. [train whistling in distance]

- Don't, Lenny. - Surprised you can feel your toes in this weather!

[whimpering] No don't, Lenny, please.

- Can you feel your toes? - Don't, Lenny! - Can you?

[train passes noisily]

[inaudible]

[train noise recedes]

Watch the birdie, Jack. [camera shutter clicks, flashes]

If we were to export the motorcar via Zurich, and you were to take delivery of it

from, uh, somewhere a little further east, uhh, that

might be a way round and, um... Would you excuse me

for a moment sir? Perhaps you'd like to look at this upholstery cover swatch.

Excuse me.

- Um, can I help you, sir? - Yeah!

- How much are these? - Uh, that's rather a difficult question. Uh...

- What exactly were you looking for, sir? - He's looking for one of these!

Yeah. Yeah! Can I drive it?

I'm sorry, sir, but it really is not our policy to allow the vehicles outside the showroom.

Oh, well in that case I'll have to sit in here then, won't I?

Try the legroom and the ashtray, Charlie.

Excuse me, sir, but excessive use of the electrical... [window whirrs]

Yes, I'm sorry, Mr...

Weird bloke. Is he selling 'em or collecting 'em?

- Something like this, but in dark green. - Dark green.

Well, we have a Mulliner Drophead over there, sir.

'Ere, Ange'll like this.

I think Stoker's already give her a demonstration.

- [salesman] You'd prefer a darker colour? - Lighter. [electrical whirring]

- A lighter colour... - Yes.

♪ [Paul plays intro to HOW DOES IT FEEL] ♪

No no no, it's got no balls!

- Look, shurrup a minute, will ya? - You do it however you want, I don't give a shit.

We've tried this time and time again. It's just not working.

Don't take it so personal.

I'm just thinking about the album, that's all.

- Shall I do it? - Ah, shut up.

Look, you were supposed to have sorted all this out before you came in here.

Now can we get on with it, please!

D'you wanna come down here and try it? Prat.

Russell! Get us a Coke!

[tape whirs backwards]

- [Barry] Russ! - [Angie] Russ... - [Barry] Get us a Coke!

[Russell] We're out of them!

[Angie] He says we're out of them.

- [shouting] Well, go out and get some then! - [Russell] In a minute!

Russell?

Get me a Coke, would you?

[whirring tape noise continues]

[engineer] Right, let's have a line for the levels, please.

[bottles clinking]

Just thought we'd drop by, Russ. Find out how you're all getting on.

[Russell] Oh.

Nice bit of schmutter. Very trendy these days!

I don't mind if I do.

- Look, I, I've just got a job to do, y'know... - Yeah, well, we've got a job we want you to do.

We want you to give these to your Mr Seymour.

Sorry they're a bit blurry. Ron's still learning. [Ron laughs]

- That's Daniels. - Most of 'im, yeah.

Well, he made life very difficult for Mr Harding.

He had to make himself understood.

- Nigh-night, Russ. - Sleep tight.

Tell him we want our contract back.

[quietly] Yes.

♪ [HOW DOES IT FEEL instrumental plays] ♪

What're you doing?

- Where's the Coke? - Well, it's outside. But I thought this was more important.

- Then you were wrong. - Wrong?

Listen, this affects all of us, you know. Not just you. They're bleedin' nutters!

- Do the lads know about this? - No, they don't.

Well don't you think you ought to tell them?

Do you?

Well, what do you expect me to do? Just shut up and, and laugh it off?

Jack Daniels isn't laughing, you know!

Daniels knew perfectly well what he was doing.

Obviously you don't, if you think the group will benefit by opening this thing up.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Come on, Russell. Use your brain.

That tinpot little dog trainer

conned a contract out of your friends that wrapped them up for good.

As far as this business is concerned, now that he's seen how good they are,

he wants to kick them about, like one of his fruit machines, until some money falls out.

If he had any real claim on that talent, did you think he would try something like this?

- Well, I don't know, but I... - No, you don't know.

You don't know so I'll tell you:

If Harding takes this to court with me

then your friends had better go back to the button factory.

Because not one of them will ever make a record,

or even pick up a guitar in public until a legal decision is made,

by which time their adoring fans will have forgotten what they look like.

I know it, Harding knows it.

And now you know it.

Now if that's what you want for the group, go out and tell them.

[scoffs] Well, you don't leave me any alternative, do ya?

I mean, do you expect me to carry on working with them, knowing what I know?

No.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[indistinct dialogue]

More seriously, that is why we have left a completely free hand.

Well, I'd like to extend the campaign to our European markets.

- So I've invited our German sales director to join us for lunch. - Splendid, right.

Excuse me, sir, there's a gentleman waiting to see you.

[Harding] You're a hard man to reach, Mr Seymour.

Ah, uh, look, um... Could we make this some other time?

No, I wanna see you now.

[Tony] I'm afraid Mr Seymour can only see you by appointment.

- He's had my card. - Jacqui, w...

No no, Tony. [stammers] That's all right, you go on. I'll join you.

- What can I do for you? - I want what's mine on that contract.

Ah. I've yet to see your so-called contract.

You've seen Daniels. I want what's mine.

What exactly is that, Harding?

A few fruit machines, a couple of psychopaths

and you think you can worm your scummy little way up on my back.

- What are you... - You stick where you belong, Harding.

You stick with your dog pictures, and your jukeboxes

and your thugs.

They're yours!

[crowd screaming]

[crowd chanting] We want Flame! We want Flame!

[Stoker] I told you last night in Leeds, you've changed the order. You just do not listen...

[arguing, indistinct]

[crowd chanting continues]

[flamethrower noise, no audible dialogue]

- You want me to sing into that thing? - It's perfectly safe!

Functions like a normal PA mic, when you press the button here. Try it.

[flare noises] I'm not sticking my face over that. You wouldn't do it.

Oh, come on, Stoker. Think of the effect.

Flame, power, sexual symbolism.

He'd look a real prat with his eyebrows on fire.

I had seats for Covent Garden tonight, would you believe?

Well, there's no real need for you to be here tonight, Robert.

Any ideas yet, on the American release date?

New album? Not until the single makes a move.

Anyway I'm unhappy about the deal with CBS.

Well, why don't you try them on a promotion tour?

[chuckles] It'll be a bloody miracle if they survive this one!

They're falling apart at the seams. Can you imagine what they'd be like over there?

[compère barely audible over crowd] Can you hear me out there? Welcome!

[compère continues indistinctly] Would you please just sit down!

[Stoker] If this thing sticks again, somebody's gonna cop it.

Now we don't want any trouble. Sit down, please! Over there!

[Stoker] Will somebody tell our roadies to keep off the bloody stage?

Will you keep it down just a little bit. Please!

[no audible dialogue]

- Hello! You all ready to get going? - [Stoker] Yeah! Let's get on with it!

Right, everybody all together: Flame!

[crowd screams wildly]

♪ [intro to O.K. YESTERDAY WAS YESTERDAY by FLAME plays] ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Ohh, boys get tight. Oh, what a sight! ♪

♪ Ready to use their charms ♪

♪ Girls just might show you all right ♪

♪ It ain't gonna do 'em no harm ♪

♪ Lady Luck gonna do what she oughta ♪

[dialogue inaudible]

♪ No place left to lock up your daughter ♪

♪ No way out, time's getting shorter ♪

♪ Makin' sure your life carries on ♪

♪ Say "OK, yesterday" ♪

♪ "Was yesterday" ♪

♪ I say "OK, today's a better day" ♪

♪ Say "OK, yesterday was yesterday" ♪

♪ I say "OK, today's a better day" ♪

♪ ♪

[crowd cheering, Stoker addresses audience]

[Paul tuning instrument, Stoker indistinct]

Will you shut up!

Paul, he's always mak... he's always making a noise like that. He's always making a noise

Yeah we're gonna finish off with a number

for me dear old mum whose birthday it is today

and this is her favourite song

which you can hear in the words in this one.

It's called 'Wishing You Were Here'.

[crowd screams]

♪ [intro to WISHING YOU WERE HERE by FLAME plays] ♪

♪ Everybody needs a by-the-sea affair ♪

♪ Where you get the urge from something in the air ♪

♪ Helter-skelter on a mat ♪

♪ 'Kiss Me Quick' is on my hat ♪

♪ And you do it on the ghost train for a dare ♪

♪ Wishing you were here Same as every year ♪

♪ 'Cos our summer madness is too short ♪

[indistinct shouting]

♪ Wishing you were here ♪

♪ Where the sunshine's near ♪

♪ Is it true that wishes can be bought? ♪

[Stoker] Eh, what's the game making all that row while I'm trying to spiel the crowd?

If you weren't so poxy big-headed, you'd give someone else a chance

instead of all that "Momma's birthday" crap. At least I was in tune.

- [Charlie] I think you're both beautiful. - [Stoker] Go on, get back in goal, goalie.

Look, if you want to be up front, you know what to do. But let's get this over with first.

Sooner the better for me, mate!

[Seymour] Oh, hello! Um, sorry.

We can't stay 'til the end, it's rather beyond Emma's bedtime.

It's super, absolutely super!

[Hamish] Come on lads, get yourselves tuned!

[Seymour] Don't let us hold you up!

[Hamish] Hurry it up, they're going berserk down there.

[crowd screams, compère announces indistinctly]

[compère] One more?

- [Seymour] Doing anything over the weekend? - [Tony] Nothing much.

[Seymour] How'd you like to pay our friend Harding a visit?

[Tony] Well, if you like. Why?

[Seymour] Uh, I think we've made our point. Certainly made some money.

[Seymour] Think it's time we pulled out, before we get our noses too dirty.

[Tony] Well, that seems a pity. I thought it was all going rather well.

You had a good night out?

Yeah? [crowd responds] Yeah! Yeah?

[crowd responds] Yeah! Yeah? [crowd responds] Yeah!

Good. Right this one now, we want everybody moving from side to side.

Have a little sway.

Sway.

[Stoker] This is called 'Far Far Away'. [crowd screams]

♪ [intro to FAR FAR AWAY by FLAME plays] ♪

♪ I've seen the yellow lights go down the Mississippi ♪

♪ I've seen the bridges of the world and they're for real ♪

♪ I've had a red light of the wrist ♪

♪ Without me even gettin' kissed ♪

♪ It still seems so unreal ♪

♪ I've seen the morning in the mountains of Alaska ♪

♪ I've seen the sunset in the east and in the west ♪

♪ I've sang the glory that was Rome ♪

♪ And passed the Hound Dog singer's home ♪

♪ It still seems for the best ♪

♪ And I'm far, far away ♪

♪ With my head up in the clouds ♪

♪ And I'm far, far away ♪

♪ With my feet down in the crowds ♪

♪ Lettin' loose around the world ♪

♪ But the call of home is loud ♪

♪ Still as loud ♪

Goodnight, Whitworth. Thank you.

[song continues in background]

[indistinct chatting]

- See them birds? - What about Ange? - What about Ange?

[indistinct dialogue]

[dialogue inaudible, song continues]

[fans scream]

♪ ♪

[Stoker] Close the window, love. We don't need trouble.

[fans scream]

♪ ♪

♪ And I'm far, far away ♪

♪ With my head up in the clouds ♪

♪ And I'm far, far away ♪

♪ With my feet down in the crowds ♪

♪ Lettin' loose around the world ♪ [fans scream]

♪ But the call of home is loud ♪

♪ Still as loud ♪

♪ ♪

[excited chatter]

[Barry] 'Ere, look at this!

♪ ♪

- What floor? - Eighth, please.

Thank you.

[Stoker sighs]

What we gonna do then?

- Are we going on, the group? - What group?

- Look. I'm sorry about all that side stuff. - Yeah yeah, I know.

- You know I didn't mean it. - Well I did.

[Barry] We need some Coke. Didn't anybody bring any Coke?

♪ [LAY IT DOWN by SLADE plays in background] ♪

[indistinct party chatter]

[muffled music in background]

- [Angie] What you doing? - [Paul] What does it look like I'm doing?

[Paul] I'm off. Finished. Going back home.

- What about the group? - There is no group.

Never was after our Mr Seymour started poking around.

But you're famous. You've got everything.

Yeah, we've got everything.

You hang on to that bit. You hang on to Stoker, he'll see you're all right.

- See you, Ange. - Paul...

[loud party noise]

[smashing sounds, partygoers cheer]

[inaudible dialogue] ♪ ♪

[Seymour, whispering] Do you want me to take her?

Shall I bring you up a drink? Righto.

[Judy screams]

Judy! Judy! Emma!

Judy! Judy!

[Judy whimpering, Emma crying] [Seymour] Emma!

It's paint! Look, it's paint!

[Seymour] Oh my god. Holy Jesus.

[crying continues]

Oh my god!

[Harding humming]

♪ [whistles OH I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE] ♪

♪ [whistling continues] ♪

[Stoker] Bit early in the day for you innit, Ron?

Well, if it's not my little Stoker!

- [Harding] How you been keeping? - Mustn't grumble.

- That makes a change. - [laughs] Yeah!

[Harding] Have you heard the news?

- What news is that, Ron? - It's back with me again!

- [Harding] I bet that makes you happy. - Huh!

Your Mr Seymour's had enough.

Tell you what, Ron, we've all had enough.

[door shuts]

[HOW DOES IT FEEL by SLADE] ♪ How does it feel? ♪

♪ Turnin' away? ♪

♪ And how does it feel? Facing another day? ♪

♪ 'Cos many years from now There will be newer poisons ♪

♪ And new horizons ♪

♪ How does it feel? ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Ohhh! ♪

♪ Do you know, know, know What it's like to be searching ♪

♪ And suddenly find All your illusion, all your confusion ♪

♪ All left behind? ♪

♪ ♪