All language subtitles for S1 E5 - Episode 5

[calm music]

The importance of relics in the
Catholic church is paramount.

They have received the divine
blessing of God himself,

allowing the
particular saint to aid

and watch over the
faithful masses.

What did you drag me here for?

I'm a bit sketchy on relics.

What's in the box?

-A relic.
-Oh.

It's the remains
of a Pope's heart.

Oh, God.
Sorry.

And as the great
Hans Urs von Balthasar said,

"What you are is
God's gift to you,

"and what you become
is your gift."

"To God."

I beg your pardon?

"What you become is
your gift to God."

Thank you for correcting me,
Father Durand.

And thank you all
for coming, everyone.

Pub, please?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

[Father Donadieu speaking
in French]

Thank you.

It's from both of us.

[Father Donadieu speaking
in French]

[Paulette speaking
in French]

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

[Paulette speaking
in French]

[man speaking in
French]

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

[gasping]

[Paulette speaking
in French]

♪ Do you remember
the first time ♪

♪ That my eyes set on you

♪ Your smile came
from nowhere ♪

♪ For sometime never
or sometime soon ♪

♪ The road is a long one

♪ I was only
passing through ♪

♪ I was only passing through

I tell you what I don't
understand about the church.

They're always
skint, aren't they?

Eh?

Well, every time I went to
church when I was a kid,

they were always banging
on about the roof leaking

or the graveyard caving in.

It must take a lot of money

to maintain such
beautiful buildings.

Did you see the amount
of cash going in

to that collection box?

I can't see anything
wrong with that church,

it looks absolutely fine to me.

Blimey, Dom, I didn't
know you felt so strongly

about church maintenance.

Is it because they've
never actually asked you

to do any work for
them by any chance?

No, I'm just saying, if
they're that hard off,

why don't they just
sell a few candlesticks?

Well, it's all about
faith, isn't it?

Well, you gotta have faith.

If you start singing
George Michael,

I'm gonna hurt you.

He's dead!

Father Donadieu is dead.

Please, help.

[slow music]

So let's go over this again.

Of course.

We were taking delivery of
the candles in the vestibule

and we realized that Father
Donadieu had stopped shouting.

And then we saw him.
It was awful.

-And the sacred heart was gone.
-He was shouting?

Father Donadieu could
be very impassioned.

And the door was still bolted?

No, no, we only opened
the door to get some help.

It couldn't have been
more than 10 minutes

before Father Durand came
over for help to the pub.

I'd not even been
served a drink.

And what time was this delivery?

It was 5:20 p.m.,
straight after the talk.

It always is.

Our deliveryman will confirm.

Madame White, do you know
the approximate value

of the stolen goods?

Well, I'm not an expert
on relics but priceless.

In a spiritual value.

Would it be easy to sell?

Oh, there's always a
buyer for the priceless.

But if someone wanted
to sell such a thing,

where would they go?

I really don't know,
it's so specific.

Actually, I might know
someone who could help us.

Excuse me.

[slow music]

Hey, Dom.

Fancy going on a pilgrimage?

Lourdes?

Well, I'm just going there
to look up an old friend.

Rather you than me.

It's too touristy.

[laughs] Sorry,
we're not open yet.

[Niamh] My boy!

-Mammy?
-[laughs]

This is Dom and Jean.

Charmed I'm sure.

Lovely to meet you.

Right, we'd best be off then.

-Yep.
-Where are you off to, dear?

Lourdes.

[gasps] Another
child of the Lord's.

[laughs]

Oh yes.

Oh, oh.

Celine, I don't suppose
you have a clean room

ready for me, do you, dear?

-I didn't know you were coming.
-Never mind.

You look exhausted.

I'll clean it myself.

And when I come back,

I'll have a pint of
the black stuff, son.

How much food did you order?

I just asked Celine to
do us a packed lunch.

We're only driving half an hour.

Oh, I don't believe it!

-[Dom] What?
-Food of the Gods!

[laughs] Well, we
are going to Lourdes.

Celine asked me a while back

what food I missed from England
and this was on me list.

She must have got
some in, bless her.

Whoa, whoa, hang on.

Of all the things
you could have said,

pork pie with egg
top of your list?

It's not top of me list.

[Dom] What was top?

-Babby's Head.
-Babby's...

What is Babby's Head?

Babby's Head!
You know.

Steak and kidney suet pudding.

A Northern chip shop classic.

-So called because?
-It's as smooth

-as a baby's head.
-Baby's head.

Exactly!

I make a cracking Babby's Head.

I could give Gordon Ramsay
a run for his money.

Is that a threat or a fantasy?

[Jean laughs]

All right then, prove it.

-What?
-You can cook me dinner.

All right then, I'll cook you
Babby's Head, chips, peas.

And gravy.

Can't have Babby's
Head without gravy.

-Oh, I knew you knew!
-Of course I knew!

I went in that chip
shop that often,

they used to give me a
free calendar at Christmas.

[laughs] Did they now?

Oh, I can't believe that.

[upbeat music]

[calm music]

I mean, how many
nuns do you need?

Depends on what you've
been up to, my child.

It's all right, Karen, you
can drop the French accent,

-he's with me.
-Jean!

-How are you?
-I'm all right.

This is Dom.

All right, Dom,
are you a sinner?

-I've had my moments, yeah.
-[laughs]

Let's get that kettle
on and have a ciggie.

Come on.

I washed all those
glasses last night

and she just washed
them all again.

Look, I had no idea
she was coming, love.

Anyway, I know exactly
why she's here,

she just wants to cause trouble.

You know, she's been so lonely
since my dad died, Celine.

You know, they did everything
together for 45 years.

Maybe that's why she's here.

To see her only son,

eat with the only family
she has left in the world.

Did you ever think
it could be that?

I'm sorry, it's just-

Just you never
give her a chance.

Over here, son.

I'll have another Guinness
when you're ready, son.

I hope you're not gambling, ma?

Gambling, oh no, son,

this is just a little
friendly culture exchange.

I'm teaching them
how to play cribbage

and they're going to teach
me how to play boules.

Can I smell a bit of boule?

[laughs] He's a
funny man, my son.

I mean it, ma, we're not
licensed for gambling.

Trust me, son!
It's just a little friendly.

Okay.

And if you found yourself
adding a wee tot of whiskey

as a chaser for your old ma,
she'd be very grateful.

Right gentlemen, 50
euro each in the kitty,

twice round the board.

And I told her I buy curios

and she thought I
was coming onto her.

[laughs]

-So how long were you a nun for?
-Eh!

I still am a nun.

I don't wear this to
keep my head warm.

Praying and all that was
alright for the first few years

but I needed more, you know,

to keep my faith shining bright.

So she decided to become one

of the world's leading
experts on religious art.

Like you do.

Eh love, I heard about Rory.

I'm really sorry.

Thank you.

So to what do I owe the honour?

Right.

Can you shed any light?

The Sacred Heart tour,
the heart of Pope Pius VI.

That box is a little
bit small for a heart.

Oh no, it was only the remains
of his heart in the box.

Oh, mingy.

What's the history?

In 1791, Pope Pius VI rejected

the Constitution
civile du clerge.

What's that?

Well, the new Republic,
not the Vatican,

were now in charge of the
Catholic church in France.

But Pius wasn't having any of it

so he suspended any
priests who accepted it.

-Brave!
-Very.

It was only seven
years later in 1798

that the French
took control of Rome

and declared it
the Roman Republic.

When Pius refused to
submit to the conquerors,

they dragged him back to France.

But he was getting on a bit

and of course, he
didn't make it.

-He croaked on the way back.
-Blimey.

He was buried without ceremony
in an un-consecrated grave.

And his heart stayed in France.

You're very good
with your dates.

A nun with a
photographic memory.

I should be in a circus.

So the Sacred Heart was stolen

from the Church
of the Virgin Mary

in Sainte Victoire yesterday.

It's priceless!

Spiritually and financially.

That's exactly what I said.

If someone was trying to
get rid of it for money,

where would they go, Karen?

I don't even know how
you would get rid of it.

Oh.

There's only one
dealer I can think of

who might chance their arm
with something like this.

Oh?

Vivienne Dumonet.

Do you know where
I can find her?

Here.

Careful though, love, she
has quite the reputation.

Oh.

Thank you, Karen.

Can I use your loo before I go?

Yeah, course you can,
it's right through there.

Come on then!

-What?
-Who's he?

-Dom?
-No, St. Francis of Assisi!

He's just a mate.

-He makes you sparkle.
-He does not.

He is hot.

Are nuns even
supposed to say that?

Probably not.

But religious art experts can.

You are allowed
a life, you know.

[sighs] It's too
soon for me, Karen.

He's been so lovely,
I'm really going to miss him.

I've not had a friend
like that for a long time.

[Dom clears throat]

-[man groans]
-Yes!

Sorry, Pierre.

It's a sea of glasses out there.

I see you're playing cribbage?

That's well observed by a
man so young as yourself.

Do you play?

How much is the stake?

[Niamh laughs]

Well, that's very kind
of you, young man,

but I'll buy my own
drink, thank you.

Next game is 50 euro stake,
twice round the board.

Take a seat.

Don't touch anything.

Hello.

A friend of mine said you
might be able to help me?

[Vivienne] Oui?

I'm looking for
a religious item.

You have come to
the right place.

[Jean] It's very valuable.

I deal in the finest
antiques and icons,

not cheap souvenirs, Madame.

Quality surrounds you.

Yes, I can see that.

But this is priceless
and it's missing.

[Vivienne] You mean the Sacred
Heart, Pope Pius VI, yes?

[Jean] How did you know?

Anyone who knows their
reliquaries knows.

I only wish it had
come through here,

I could've got rid of
it in five minutes.

-[crashes]
-[gasps]

What have you done?

That is finest Capodimonte.

Oh no, it's not
Capodimonte, is it?

Come on.

You owe me 1,500 euro!

Oh, I don't think so, love.

You and I know that's just a
piece of mass produced pottery.

Here.

10 euros for your trouble.

Keep the change.

What did I say?

[keyboard clacking]

-Seen something you like?
-What?

Wait a minute.

I saw him in the church
with Father Donadieu.

-Follow that car!
-[Dom] Oh, brilliant!

I have always wanted
somebody to say that to me.

[car honks]

[speaking in French]

They're a good looking
couple and no mistake.

[Jean] This is true.

[Dom] They've got a real
sense of style, haven't they?

What, them two?

You've only just seen them.

No, I mean the
French, in general.

[Jean] Yeah.

You know, when I
first came here,

I tried to copy the look.

Went to the same shops,
bought the same clothes.

Did I nail it?
Nah.

I think I've just got
a very British head.

You always look great to me.

Oh, thanks.

And I'll have a ham and
cheese baguette, please.

Yeah.

[Sacha speaking in French]

[Paulette speaking in French]

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

[Sacha speaking in French]

[Father Durand
speaking in French]

[Dom] Don't gawp
with your mouth full.

What's gone on there?

I'm going to take little
look round the church.

Lunch on me if
you'll have a look

at that leaky pump you
keep promising you'll fix.

It's all right,
I'll see you in a bit.

All right...
[mumbles]

[knocking]

You don't want to go down
there, that's the crypt!

No one's been down
there for years.

Oh, sorry.

Can I help you?

Yes, I was come to see
you and your mum actually.

Maman,you remember Madame
White from the night of the...

Oh, hello again.

I just wondered how
you were both doing?

We are okay.

Of course, it has been
so horrific and shocking

that my sleep has not been good.

He hasn't got a wink, bless him.

I hope you don't mind me asking,

the gentleman that came
in to the church before?

I recognize him.

Oh, you mean Sacha Ruse?

He came over to sign the papers

on a field he has
purchased from the church.

-Is he a builder?
-Yes, he is.

He has been wanting to buy
the field for many years,

but Father Donadieu was not keen

and kept it stringing along.

Is that because it
was consecrated?

No, because that's the
kind of tyrant he was.

Maman!

You cannot speak of
the dead like that,

especially within these walls.

Father Donadieu
was a man of faith

in the face of his congregation,

but behind closed doors, he
was a very different man.

He could be very difficult.

Especially with
those closest to him

and my mother has worked
for him since she was 15.

Oh.

We've all had tough bosses.

Exactly.

[calm music]

[Jean] I think I know who
murdered Father Donadieu.

For sure?

[Jean] The evidence
is pretty solid.

Qui?

Sacha Ruse.

Monsieur Ruse?

Are you sure?

What is your evidence?

His girlfriend is the
only person around here

who could get rid of a relic.

Father Donadieu refused to
sell him a piece of land

that he really wanted,
but just after the murder,

he buys the same piece of
land off Father Durand.

-It's got to be Sacha Ruse.
-What piece of land?

Oh, it's at the
back of the church,

it's not consecrated
or anything,

but you've got to admit
the timing's fast.

No, Jean, this is
all circumstantial.

And how would he get back
through a bolted door?

Well, I don't know, Caron,

but somebody is dead and
everything is pointing to him.

Monsieur Ruse is a
very important member

of the community.

A magistrate and
incredibly charitable.

If you are wrong, the
ripple effect will be huge.

But what if I'm right?

Hasn't your community
got a right to know

that it's living
with a murderer?

We should at least question him.

[calm music]

[Sacha speaking in French]

[Caron speaking in French]

[Sacha speaking in French]

[Caron speaking in French]

[Sacha speaking in French]

So you know your
antiques, Jean White?

I do.

[Caron] Can I ask
you a few questions?

Of course.

It has come to my knowledge

that you have recently
bought the piece of land

behind the church.

Yes.

And you've been trying
to get your hands

on that land for ages.

Yes.

But Father Donadieu did not
want me to develop the land.

Even though it was
not consecrated.

And you're currently
dating an expert

in religious icons and antiques?

Oui,and what business
is that of yours?

Monsieur Ruse,
forgive my directness,

but it is a bit of coincidence

that a religious
relic has been stolen,

you have a girlfriend that
could get rid of it for you,

and the only person
standing in the way

of a big development
got murdered?

You are being serious?

The circumstantial evidence
is strong, monsieur.

Are you a religious
woman, Madame White?

I'd say I was spiritual
more than religious.

But you were raised
with religion?

You grew up with it?

Roman Catholic.

Well, I am a committed atheist.

And do you know one of the
reasons why I am an atheist?

When my mother was
just three years old,

she was ripped away from
her mother by the church.

No reason other than she was
unmarried and struggling.

Her child torn away.

My grandmother committed suicide

rather than live with the
grief of losing her daughter.

And do you know
what the church did?

They threw her into
a pauper's pit.

No burial, no grave.

The shame my mother
had to grow up with

coloured her entire life.

That is why I wanted
to buy the land

at the back of the church.

That land is the
very pauper's pit

in which my grandmother lies.

Oh.

Oui.

I want to turn it into a place
for people who need help,

a sort of sanctuary in
my grandmother's honour,

but Father Donadieu was
not in favour of this idea

as it would bring
shame on the church.

[laughs]

Oh, and as for stealing
the remains of a heart

that might have
belonged to a Pope,

you will not be surprised

to know that doesn't
interest me at all.

Monsieur Ruse,
can I ask where you went

after leaving the
church that night?

Madame Dumonet and I
dined at La Sal de Nuit.

The restaurant was packed.

Maybe you should have
asked me that first.

Please accept my
sincere apologies.

Jean, how could
you do that to me?

I've never been so humiliated.

The evidence was so compelling,
I was sure it was him.

I will never live this
down in this village.

-I'm sorry.
-Not to mention my wife.

Your wife?

She is a member of
the same art committee

as Vivienne Dumonet.

She will never let
me live this down.

Well, just explain to her
that it was all my fault.

You don't know my wife.

Caron, you can't make me feel
any worse than I already do.

[phone chimes]

What's wrong?

There has been another stabbing.

[ominous music]

[camera clicking]

[Gendarme speaking in French]

[Jean] Did you say scissors?

[Caron] Yes, but he's
the local drug dealer,

so it's probably unrelated.

Oh, it was awful.

I don't think I'm cut out
for this police stuff.

There was so much blood.

That happened to me once.

You witnessed a murder scene?

No, really bad shaving cut.

Was blood all over the place.

I nearly fainted.

And Caron's still
not speaking to me.

Oh, love.

-I'll see you both later.
-See you.

That's why I stopped shaving.

Xav's gambling.

Over there.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Glo.

My ma told me it
was just a friendly.

Come on, Gloria.

What the hell do you
think you are doing?

Maman!

You could get us shut
down, you stupid woman!

Hey, there's no need
for that, Celine.

No, there isn't!

And how dare you
speak to me like that!

We don't have a
license to gamble.

Well, you should get one!

There's a reason why
we don't get one.

Do you have a criminal record?

I don't have a criminal record,

but if you don't get out of
my face, I soon will have.

Please, everyone,

I'm the reason why they
don't have a license.

I'm a recovering addict.

We're not doing drugs, son.

Besides, you've won
the kitty twice!

Not drugs.

Gambling.

I'm supposed to be in recovery.

I'm sorry, mum.

Can we go home now?

Thanks, Celine, for trying.

You always have to
look at the parents

to see why the child
behaves so badly.

I think you know
what you need to do.

Take no notice, son.

This whole PC thing has
got way out of hand.

You should have
seen his face, Dom,

I've never seen anyone so upset.

Especially someone like Caron.
I feel awful.

You said he mentioned his wife?

Yeah, that's the first time
he's mentioned her to me,

thinking about it.

Well, that'll be it then.

What do you mean?

How do I put it?

Have you ever seen
Caron out of uniform?

Ever seen him relax
or have dinner?

-Weirdly, no.
-No.

He hates to go home.

He just stays at work.

-Because of his wife?
-Yeah.

The few times he's
mentioned it to me,

he just said him and
his wife do not get on.

I mean, the only time
I saw them together,

they were sniping all night.

It was exhausting.

Why don't they just split up?

Who knows.

I just know that kind of
thing would drive me insane.

Gosh, even so, he's
such a lovely man,

I wish I could
make it up to him.

[bell rings]

-Fancy a prayer service?
-Really?

Oh, come on, please, just
give me one more look?

Prayer service?
I don't know what to do.

Just do everything I do.

Come on, you'll be fine.

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

[congregation speaking
in French]

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

Different curtains.

[Father Durand speaking
in French]

[congregation speaking
in French]

Mother and Son.

-[Dom gasps]
-What?

Dom, stay in your seat
after the service.

What? It's bad enough being
here in the first place,

never mind staying a minute
longer than we have to.

Please, Dom.

All right, all right.

-Got me skin there.
-Sorry.

[bell ringing]

Oh, that was a lovely
service, Father.

Thank you.

You must be very
proud of your son.

I am.

Especially since he gets
to lead the service.

Oh, did Father Donadieu not
let you lead the service?

Never.

Father Donadieu was,
shall we say,

a little bit possessive.

Oh, Monsieur Ruse said

that Father Donadieu
was also very possessive

about the land at the
back of the church.

Father Donadieu said it was
the property of the church.

But I thought selling the
land could create something

for the community.

Oh.

So it's quite useful

that Father Donadieu
is not here anymore?

What are you insinuating?

Just that life's a little
bit better for everyone?

Are you accusing me of
murder in God's house?

No, Father, not you.

Madame White, how dare you!

When I first came
into the church

after Father Donadieu
had been murdered,

I couldn't see why the
confessional box seemed strange.

But tonight I worked it out.

It's out of place.

Only slightly, but it's not
quite where it should be.

Would you like to
tell us why, Paulette?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Should I refresh your memory?

This is absolute nonsense.

You had a little bit
of help, didn't you?

This is how I see it.

As we left the
church that night,

your drug dealer
friend sneaked off

and hid in the
confessional box.

As Father Donadieu came
back into the church,

your young friend
came out of the box

and stabbed him in the
back with a Crucifix,

then quickly returned, picking
up the relic on the way.

You then sent Father
Durand for help

to the pub across the square.

And while he was gone,

you both slid the
confessional box across,

revealing a secret door which
I assume leads to the crypt.

After he made his escape,

you tried to put the
confessional box back

into the right place but,
well, in your efforts,

you left the tilted
station of the cross.

-Can you give me a hand?
-Yeah.

Only a girl who's worked
here all her life would know

where a secret door was.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry, my darling.

How did you know?

I saw you going in the
crypt door one morning.

I assumed it was a side door
until I came to visit you.

I've been at the receiving end

of that monster's wrath
most of my working life.

I was determined my son
wouldn't go through the same.

I dreamt about murdering him.

What silencing him
would sound like.

But you murdered
twice, didn't you?

-What?
-[Jean] The boy.

-What boy?
-Come on, the boy, Paulette.

He was killed with shears.

Your sewing shears.

He was blackmailing me.

I paid him well,
he wanted more.

I spent all my savings.

So what happened to
the Sacred Heart?

Oh, that was used just
for a motive for murder.

It never left, did it, Paulette?

You would never
sell a holy relic,

good Catholic girl like you.

No, you made new
curtains to hide it.

Maman?

How?

[Jean] The curtains on the
leaflet are a different colour.

And when I was in the vestry,

I noticed the thread in your
sewing machine was crimson.

I got your text.
This better be good, Jean.

Let's give them a minute.

[calm music]

So, you still going to cook
me a Babby's Head then?

I'm not one to
renege on a promise.

I don't want tinned peas, mind.

I want them soaked overnight.

Oh, do you now?

In a hairnet.

A hairnet?

Yeah, like my gran used to do.

[laughs] Do I look
like the kind of woman

who wears a hairnet?

I refuse to answer that
question on the grounds of fear.

Just turn up at mine
at seven o'clock.

Would it excite
you if I told you

that I've got a
couple of bottles

of Dandelion and
Burdock to bring over?

Now that excites me more than
you could possibly imagine.

-Hiya, love.
-Hello.

How's Xav?

I've just come back from
one of his meetings.

You're such a lovely mum.

Oh, Celine, I'm so sorry
for kicking off yesterday.

Kicking off?
You were positively graceful.

You have absolutely
nothing to apologize for.

We promised you that there
would be no gambling in here.

It's us who should be
apologizing to you.

It wasn't your fault.

Maybe not, but it
was the fault of her.

[sighs] I know she
is my mother-in-law

but I cannot stand her!

This morning she told me

that I couldn't
possibly be a real woman

because I hadn't had a child.

[gasps]

I can't believe the
hard faced cheek of her.

I told her I didn't want
her here straight away

but she just ignores me.

-What about Niall?
-Him?

He resorts to being a 12
year old boy, bless him.

She smothers him as a mother

and she guilt trips
him on religion.

Oh, for a few hours off!

There she is!

A child of God!

How was your trip to Lourdes?

Oh, great, great.

[upbeat music]

Sister!

I got your message,
what's so urgent?

Jean, there's something
I have to tell you

and it just couldn't wait.

I must ask you all for your
complete confidentiality.

What I'm about to say might
just change the world.

Of course, yeah, yeah.

At seven o'clock last night,

Sister Bernadette saw
the face of Our Lady

in a croque monsieur
in a cafe in Lourdes.

Now please don't
mention this to anyone

but there is every chance

that the croque monsieur
will cry at any minute

and the Cafe de Royale will
become a place of pilgrimage.

[laughs]

Remember, son, you're
the man of the house.

Don't go letting her
walk all over you.

She's a beautiful woman, ma.

Maybes to you.

Here, take care of yourself.
See you soon.

And get that gambling
license sorted.

And I told her I buy curios

and she thought I
was coming onto her.

[laughs]

I don't know how to thank you.

You could start with
another rum and black.

[laughs]

-[phone rings]
-Oh, excuse me.

Hi, Barbara.

Cash buyer?

Oh, so when can they view again?

Tomorrow?

Oh, Barbara, that's great.

Third time lucky, eh?

Yeah, bye.

Cash buyer?
That's brilliant news.

Sooner I sell that cottage,

the sooner I'm on my way home.

Celine, fill me up,
we're all celebrating.

[cheering]

-Cheers!
-Cheers!

[slow music]