Original subtitles

Baby, what are you doing?

I don't know why you're so nervous.

Moms love me.

Yeah, that's what I'm nervous about.

Oh my baby!

Hi!

Honey, have you put on a few pounds?

It's okay, I'll make sure mama feeds you healthy while you're here.

So tell me, who is this young strapping stud?

Oh my, you must be Darren.

You know you don't look a thing like your pictures.

Give me a hug.

Bring it in nice and tight.

Okay, that's not a flip on.

It's just being friendly.

Alright, will you two come on in here and get your stuff and let's go.

I know you moved out a couple of years ago, but I refuse to change anything in your room.

I just can't admit that you're all grown up.

Yeah, this is the room I grew up in.

My birth mom gave me that before she left.

Oh, I'll let you two settle in and don't keep me waiting too long, okay?

I don't

know what you were so nervous about.

She seems really nice.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say.

Your mom never stole your college boyfriend.

I think it's kind of cool that you have a hot mom.

Yeah, it's a lot less cool when you're always the awkward kid growing up.

I was the ugly duckling while she was a swan.

Alright, I mean I get that, but she's just trying to be nice.

She's trying to be welcoming to us.

I mean there's something kind of sad and lonely about it.

What the hell is that jab about my weight all about?

Oh, but she seems to love you.

It's just like I'm a little kid all over again.

The moment a man enters the scene, I seem to just disappear.

I'm worried.

What if she tries to... Baby, I only have eyes for you.

Patsy, what was Sally like when she was younger? Awkward.

She had a little bit of trouble in high school, so when all the other girls would

go out partying or on dates, we would just stay home and chill.

You make it sound like I was a total nerd.

Oh, well no honey, look at you.

You are beautiful and smart.

So smart.

Oh my god, did you just give me a compliment?

Now look, I know that it seems like I'm really hard on you, but I have never

wanted anything other than you just still be your best self, live your best life,

find true love and happiness.

Besides, at my age, the little decisions that you

make now, they affect you the rest of your life.

I mean, don't take this the wrong way.

I was just surprised at how young you seemed.

It makes sense that you're her stepmother.

Oh, you are adorable.

But don't let that fool you.

I love that little girl more than I love myself, and I would move mountains for her.

You are so strong.

Oh my gosh, it makes mommy happy.

Can you not?

It's just been a long time since I've been around gentlemanly company.

Gross, please.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I have to realize that my daughter's a little

testy after her little angel over there.

Oh my gosh, you remember that time you dyed your

hair and all those designer clothes I bought you?

She practically painted the whole bathroom black doing it.

I've never pictured you as a goth kid.

She definitely had her goth moment.

She would listen to the Cure over and over, and then we'd have these

conversations, these morbid conversations about mortality.

That's enough.

Please, mother.

What else? This is gold.

Let's see.

Oh, one time my angel tried to run away with that little chunkster.

She got hungry.

She came home later on and she said, I'm sorry, mama, can I have some food? Excuse me.

Well, it's true.

She really can't be normal for like 10 minutes.

I think she's just trying to be nice.

Like, I don't see how you don't see.

She adores you.

You don't know what it's like having a mother like that.

Three husbands in ten years, new men always hanging around.

Oh, and then Michael.

I always felt like, like I was unwanted.

Like I was ugly.

Trust me, right?

You're the most beautiful girl in the world.

I just, I don't wanna get rejected all over again.

I promise you won't let that happen.

I promise.

I promise you won't let that happen.

I promise you won't let that happen.

I promise

you won't let that happen.

I promise

you won't

let that happen.

I promise you won't let that happen.

I promise you won't let that happen.

Oh,

Oh A little pause.

..

and we are back.

A little pause... and we are back.

A little pause.

..

and we are back.

Stop them, stop them.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

Like...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... Oh...

Oh...

Fuck!

Oh...

Oh... Oh...

Oh... Oh...

Oh...

Oh, my grand.

..

Oh...

Oh...

Oh... Oh...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my

God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.