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[♪♪♪]
CHAPUYS: I must report to the emperor that it has not rained in over two months.
Some say it is the hottest summer in living memory,
which is a great inconvenience to the 500 citizens
the king has incarcerated on charges of heresy.
His Majesty continues to demonstrate his perversity,
sometimes executing both Lutherans and Catholics
[FLY BUZZING]
On the same day.
But nothing deters the king from his amorous pursuits.
I am told he is already secretly married to Mistress Catherine Howard
and intends to show her to the world tomorrow.
Mr. Culpepper. Majesty.
Lady Rochford. Your Majesty.
[♪♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
HENRY: Catherine.
[♪♪♪]
Will you not come to bed, my lord?
[CHATTERING]
[HORNS PLAYING]
[STAFF POUNDING ON FLOOR]
MAN: The king.
[HOWARD GIGGLES]
My lady. MAN 1: My lady.
MAN 2: My lady.
MAN 1: Your Majesty. MAN 2: Your Majesty.
[BOTH GIGGLING]
MAN 3: My lady. MAN 4: Your Majesty.
WOMAN: Your Majesty. MAN 5: Your Majesty.
MAN 6: Your Majesty.
MAN 7: Your Majesty.
My lady.
Your Majesty.
Who is that talking to Chapuys?
EDWARD: It's Norfolk's eldest son, the Earl of Surrey.
The earl's been away for a few years practising his chivalry in France.
They say he writes poetry and runs a little wild.
[CHUCKLES]
Your Grace.
Excellency.
Your Grace seems somewhat distracted.
I was just thinking of those who are no longer here to sup with us.
I had a moment of nostalgia, even for my enemies.
I understand Thomas Boleyn died recently.
Yes. And the only mourners at his funeral
were the ghosts of his children.
HENRY: Your Grace.
Ambassador Chapuys.
Monsieur Marillac,
we are happy to accept your credentials from King Francis.
Welcome to our court.
I come here this day to introduce to you my new wife:
Queen Catherine.
I was first attracted to her by a notable appearance of honour,
[GIGGLES]
Cleanness and maidenly behaviour.
It seems incredible to have obtained such a perfect jewel of womanhood,
who bears towards me such perfect love.
A love that will not only bring me the peace and tranquillity I desire,
but may also bring forth the desired fruits of such a marriage.
To Queen Catherine.
Queen Catherine.
Now, let's eat. I'm starving.
[APPLAUSE]
[CHATTERING]
Your Majesty, may I introduce the Earl of Surrey?
We're glad to welcome you back at court, Lord Surrey.
Majesty. Allow me to introduce my new wife.
And my niece, I believe.
My lord.
Sir.
Majesty.
Hm.
CHAPUYS: So you are the new French ambassador.
Tell me, Monsieur Marillac, what did your king really say
when you told him His Majesty had got rid of his last queen?
Well, he didn't say much.
He just sighed very deeply and then he said, "Oh!"
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
Would you like to dance? Mm-hm.
Go.
Wait.
Charles.
[BAND STOPS PLAYING]
Bravo.
[BAND PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
Monsieur Marillac.
Majesty?
Tell your master I was very sad to hear
about the death of the dauphin, his eldest son.
MARILLAC: Majesty.
His Majesty would like to propose a marriage between his second son
Henri, Duke of Orléans, and your daughter, the Lady Mary.
How often it comes around.
Pardon?
Forgive me. You're new to all of this.
HENRY: Do you know how old she is?
Seventeen.
Have you told your master about her?
What does he say?
I suppose he thinks I'm mad.
[LAUGHING]
Or else he's just plain jealous.
[HOWARD LAUGHS]
[BAND STOPS PLAYING]
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
HOWARD: Come here, ladies. Come and look at this.
The king sent it to me this morning.
[WOMEN GASP]
So exciting.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
Now, ladies, you must promise that from now on, as you are all sworn in,
you will all dress in the French fashion, like me.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
Do you promise? Yes, Your Majesty.
We are more than happy to oblige, Your Majesty.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
Lady Rochford.
My lady. You have a letter, just delivered.
What is it?
Oh, nothing. Just an old friend, Joan Bulmer.
She says that she has heard of my great destiny
and will I please now send for her to court?
She says that some altered circumstances have brought her
to the utmost misery in the world and a most wretched life.
Shall you send for her?
I shall think on it, Lady Rochford.
Now, ladies, why don't we try on your new dresses?
WOMAN: Yes, madam.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
SURREY: I'll tell you another amusing thing about the French.
To celebrate the winter solstice in Paris,
they build a bonfire, and on the top of it
they put a barrel, a wheel, garlands
and a basket filled with two dozen cats and a fox to be burned alive
for the king's pleasure.
I actually saw King Francis himself light it with a torch,
wrapped in red velvet, of course.
Tell me, my Lord Surrey, after so long away,
how do you find the English court?
I find it full of mean creatures.
Many of them in the service of His Majesty.
Of whom do you speak? Those men of vile birth:
Lawyers, university men.
Machiavellian intriguers whose only desire
is the destruction of the nobility of this country.
And I hate them all.
You mean men like the Seymours?
One cannot forget their sister provided the king with an heir to the throne.
And now that you've returned,
what are your ambitions?
To surpass the achievements of my father and my grandfather.
That is a very high ambition, my lord.
I'm a Howard.
It is expected of me and always has been.
And I will not fail.
MAN 1: Any deer?
MAN 2: Try over there!
BRANDON: Majesty, you've caught nothing all day beyond some rabbits and a deer,
but you're still smiling.
HENRY: Have I not every reason to be happy?
You've seen the queen. MAN 1: Whoa, boy. Here, boy.
HENRY: Shouldn't the man that that woman gives herself to always be happy?
BRANDON: I'd say he'd be beyond happiness, Majesty, in a higher state altogether.
[HENRY CHUCKLES]
MAN 2: Go! Go!
HENRY: I feel almost like a new man, Charles.
I'm no longer vexed by the things that before vexed me daily.
And even my leg is beginning to heal. Sex, great medicine.
Indeed. You are very fortunate.
How is your Catherine?
[DOG BARKING]
She's well,
although she no longer loves me as she once did.
We live mostly apart. Take a mistress.
I would rather make her love me again, if I could.
I want to take the queen on a visit soon.
I want the people to see her as I see her.
Majesty.
And her kinsman, Lord Surrey.
I want to make him a cupbearer and give him other tokens of our esteem.
I'm sure His Lordship will be most grateful.
No, my lord. He will merely see it as his birthright.
[CHUCKLES]
Master Culpepper. Come on, boy.
Have them flush us out something edible.
CULPEPPER: Yes, Majesty. Beaters! Hiyah!
MAN 1: Go on.
[MEN SHOUTING AND DOGS BARKING]
HOWARD: Do I look all right?
Majesty, the Lady Mary.
[SIGHS]
Lady Mary.
Madam.
It gives me such pleasure to meet you.
The king talks about you often-- No, all the time, with such affection.
It is my dearest wish that you and I may be kind
and loving and warm to each other.
After all, Lady Mary, you are now my stepdaughter.
I shall attend upon Your Majesty
whenever Your Majesty chooses to invite me.
Thank you.
[HOWARD GIGGLES]
Will you stay awhile?
My maids have made some cakes.
No, thank you.
I bid you a good day.
Madam.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Your old friend is here, Miss Joan Bulmer.
JOAN: Catherine.
[LAUGHING]
Are you not the luckiest, most fortunate woman in all the world?
Joan, I-- You're not pleased to see me?
Of course I'm pleased.
We used to be so close, didn't we?
You know the unfeigned love my heart has always borne towards you.
You are going to give me a position, I presume?
I may, but you must understand--
Otherwise I must persist in my wretchedness.
In my misery.
Say you will not turn me away.
Do you remember when you-know-who used to come in,
late at night and slip into bed?
For God's sake. Be careful what you say.
But you will make me one of your ladies, won't you,
sweet Catherine?
HENRY: My lords, there are new reports of disturbances in France. Sit.
There is a quarrel between the French garrison at Ardres
and our own at Guînes.
The French built a castle at Ardres
and then a bridge into the Pale of Calais.
When our soldiers pulled it down, the French promptly rebuilt it.
Now, I mean to show these French that I will not shy away
from battle if I am provoked. For reasons which I'm sending
Tom Seymour and the Earl of Surrey to Calais.
They will bring with them from the garrison
men and ordnance,
and they will make a show of force before Ardres.
In which case the French must either decide to desist or fight.
MEN: Aye.
[CHATTERING]
[WOMAN LAUGHING]
HOWARD: Its raining roses.
My lady, Mr. Thomas Culpepper is here.
Mr. Culpepper.
Your Majesty. The king has sent me.
Come.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
Mr. Culpepper?
His Majesty wants you to know that you will accompany him
on a visit to Sir William Paget's estates in Berkshire
for your pastime and disport.
I am very grateful to His Majesty
and I look forward to the visit very much.
His Majesty wants you to know
that he has settled Baynard's Castle on you as your jointure.
Where is Baynard's Castle?
It is here in London, on the north bank of the Thames, near the Fleet Tower.
You've probably seen it from the river.
Is it that big one? Yes, it's a very big one.
[LAUGHS]
In that case, please tell His Majesty that I am very, very grateful to him.
I cannot imagine owning a castle.
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
EDWARD: Majesty, may I commend Your Majesty
on taking decisive action against the French
and for honouring my brother with a command. I know...
CULPEPPER: His Majesty also desires you to accept this gift.
Please tell His Majesty that--
That you're very, very, very grateful?
[GIGGLES]
Yes.
I do not know who to say this to, Mr. Culpepper, but...
When I go about
and when I shall go with the king on a visit,
I am not so used to everyone
looking at me.
And sometimes
wish they would not do.
My lady, you must give men leave to look, for they will look upon you.
There is no help for it.
Your Majesty.
Lady Rochford.
[WOMEN CHATTERING]
[HOWARD HUMMING]
HOWARD: Ooh.
Your Majesty.
HOWARD [IN MAN's VOICE]: Hello, my lady.
[CHUCKLING]
I love you.
Kiss me.
[IN WOMAN's VOICE] No. Heh, heh, heh.
[IN MAN's VOICE] Please kiss me.
[IN WOMAN's VOICE] Well, all right, then.
[LAUGHING]
[HOWARD MAKING KISSING NOISES]
[LAUGHING]
[HOWARD MAKING GRUNTING NOISES & LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING]
[IN MAN's VOICE] Come here.
Oh, oh, my lady. Oh, my queen.
[IN WOMAN's VOICE] Oh, Your Majesty.
[HOWARD LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
I'm going away for a while.
Mr. Risley will supply you with an itinerary.
EDWARD: Yes, Your Majesty.
Also, while I'm away, I intend to call a meeting of the council.
Every councillor must attend or give very good reason why he may not.
Majesty. That's the agenda.
Also, while we're away, I intend for work to begin
on the improvements to the palace.
There will be a new front along the east river,
privy lodgings for the Lady Mary, and a banqueting house.
[SIGHS]
Damn this heat. EDWARD: Pardon, Your Majesty?
[SIGHS]
[FLY BUZZING]
Tell me, my lord, who is presently kept in the tower?
EDWARD: There is Lord Grey, accused of grave misconduct in Ireland,
Lord Lisle, the same but in Calais, and Sir John Neville, whom led,
as you may remember, Your Majesty,
the recent disturbance in the north, for which he has been arraigned.
There is also one other of high birth,
namely the queen's cousin, Lord Dacres.
Hm.
What crime?
RISLEY: Your Majesty, Lord Dacres is a young man of 23 years
who, along with some companions and after a drinking bout,
set upon an old man in a brawl and killed him.
His father and other members of his family
have written to Your Majesty begging you
for the sake of his youth, to show mercy.
The first three are to be executed whilst I'm away.
Lord Dacres is different.
He has besmirched his noble birth by behaving like a common criminal.
And so I intend he shall be treated like one.
Have him dragged through the streets to Tyburn
and there hanged in public, for all to see.
EDWARD: Yes, Your Majesty.
[SIGHS]
God's sakes, will it ever rain?
Lady Hertford, the Earl of Surrey, my lady.
My lord.
How may I be of assistance?
I rather trusted to find the earl here.
I'm leaving presently for France.
He's a military man. I wanted some advice.
My husband is in council with the king.
SURREY: Hm.
Someone of my acquaintance has told me about you,
painting such a picture of your virtues and your talents
that I thought to make myself known to you.
I am recently returned from France and I know intimately
so few people at court.
Well, sir, now we are introduced.
If that is what you wanted?
I will tell my husband that you wished to speak to him.
Thank you.
My lady.
WOMAN 1: We must attend to Her Majesty's gowns.
Sir Edward.
These shoes must be nicely put and always carefully attended.
Yes, my lady.
WOMAN 2: The house is far too dark. MAN: Well, carry on, carry on.
Your Majesty, the king is here.
Oh, my.
Sweetheart, there are two people come to be introduced to you.
Lady Bryan. Your Majesty.
This is my son, Prince Edward. Come forward, child.
This is my new queen, Catherine.
Say hello to her. Hello, Your Majesty.
Oh, he's such a sweet boy.
Hello, Your Grace. I am so delighted to meet you.
Thank you.
HENRY: Is he well? Eating well? How does the heat affect him?
He must always be wrapped up against any sudden chills.
He is very well and healthy, and every care that could be taken
is taken for his better comfort.
From the other hand, don't spoil him too much.
[HENRY GRUNTS]
[WOMEN GIGGLE]
Go on. Be a good boy, do you hear?
Thank you, sir. Good day, madam.
[GIGGLES]
HENRY: Welcome, Elizabeth.
This is my daughter, the Lady Elizabeth.
Your Majesty, I am honoured to be presented to you
and wish you every joy and happiness.
It is also an honour for me to meet you, Lady Elizabeth.
You are a very pretty young lady.
Thank you, madam.
I want to give you these.
They are not of much value, but will remind you of me.
Your Majesty is very generous.
I will always cherish it.
Your Majesty.
HENRY: Carry on packing. We depart tomorrow.
Madam.
[CLOCK TOWER RINGING]
EDWARD: What now, Mr. Risley?
The death warrants, my Lord Hertford.
My lord.
Lord Grey.
Lord Lisle.
Sir John Neville.
And Lord Dacres.
I pity him for his youth.
They say the judges wept when they read his sentence.
God save us, Mr. Risley, from weeping judges.
[EDWARD BLOWS]
My lord.
Did Surrey speak to you before he left?
No. Since his return, the earl has made it plain to all who will listen
that he despises us as new men.
I don't suppose that he would deal with you?
Hm. Perhaps.
Why is it so important?
Surrey is heir to a great title and a great fortune.
His family have royal blood.
Surely even you can see the merits of dealing with him.
MAN: Formation!
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
Sir William.
The queen and I thank you for your lavish hospitality.
Oh, Your Majesty is most gracious.
We are so honoured that you and your queen have chosen to visit us.
HENRY: Sir Richard. Your Majesty.
I just came from court. We've had news from France.
Apparently, soon after they arrived, Sir Thomas Seymour and Lord Surrey, as you commanded,
made warlike preparations and showed their strength,
and afterwards made overtures to the French governor.
Some gifts were exchanged
and the French were invited to watch a wrestling match.
And where, until recently, nothing but war had been talked of,
now there is no mention but of wishing to live at peace.
And then it is all well done.
And yet, Sir Richard, something inside me is disappointed.
It hungers for a war.
I have known its mad excitements only once and that was...
Well, that was a long time ago.
Funny.
You know, I actually thought the French might oblige me this time.
[CHUCKLES]
Majesty.
[CHUCKLING]
Are you happy? Mm-hm.
Do you have everything you want, everything you need? Tell me.
Yes, everything.
There is one thing.
What is it?
It's just that...
the Lady Mary doesn't treat me with respect.
And I think she ought to, don't you?
She will. Believe me.
Give her time.
All this is new to her, but she will grow used to you.
And then she will love you.
I hope so.
Catherine, Catherine.
I'm tired.
I'm very tired.
I have a long day tomorrow.
Good night, sweetheart.
Sleep well.
Good night, Your Majesty.
Good night, my lady.
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[GIGGLES]
Joan. What is it?
Don't worry, I won't stay. I just want to talk.
About what?
This is how it used to be, remember?
You and me together.
I told you to mind what you say.
I'm only talking to you.
And then the two of them would come in,
the one for you, and the other, mine.
And all that puffing and blowing in the dark.
And you and him would kiss and hang by your bellies like two sparrows.
[GIGGLES]
There was no harm in it.
We were agreed, we were to be married.
Is that what you told the king?
HOWARD: Don't be stupid.
I don't need to tell him anything about what happened before.
And if you talk of it to anyone, I swear I'll--
Hush. Hush.
Do you suppose I don't like being at court like a special person?
Then swear on your honour, and hope to die,
that you will speak of it to nobody, not even any of my other ladies.
Yes, Your Majesty.
I do so swear.
[GIGGLES]
Honestly.
Good.
Now go back to bed.
[GIGGLES]
And do you remember this?
I am queen now.
Do as I command.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[MEN LAUGHING]
How very obliging of Sir William to open his cellar for us.
I rather thought, Sir Edward, that it was you who opened it.
BAYNTON: Well, I was thirsty. Ha,ha, ha. I still am.
[MEN LAUGHING]
CULPEPPER: By God, she's wanton.
BAYNTON: Who is?
CULPEPPER: You know very well who I mean.
Queen Catherine. She's a little fireball.
[BAYNTON LAUGHS]
Too hot for you, Mr. Culpepper.
[MEN LAUGHING]
Really?
Tell me you can't imagine her without her clothes on.
Just picture her naked body.
Those breasts.
Those thighs. That sweet, plump little arse.
Holy Jesus.
All those things belong to the king.
I bid you gentlemen good night.
And if I were you, I would not outstay your welcome in Sir William's kitchen.
I can't drink enough to banish the thoughts of her.
Tomorrow, let's go out and find something to quench that thirst.
BAYNTON: Yeah! Ha, ha, ha.
MAN 1: Hey. Bring it over here.
Good!
[MEN LAUGHING]
MAN 1: Your horse, Mr. Culpepper.
MAN 1: She's a fine one, gentlemen.
MAN 2: Good.
[MAN LAUGHING]
MAN 1: Hiyah! MAN 2: Hiyah!
CULPEPPER: Ho there. WOMAN: Sir, a good day.
CULPEPPER: And to you. And who are you?
The wife of the park keeper, sir.
Where is your husband?
He's away at a fair, sir.
Anyone else here? Your children?
No, sir. I had a daughter, sir, but she died.
There's no one else here.
Can I help you, sir?
You can do me a great favour, and it will please you too.
Oh, no, sir. Do you know who I am?
A gentleman of the privy chamber.
I serve the king.
Now let's go inside.
WOMAN: No. If, as you say, you are a gentleman,
then you would not try to force me against my will.
You would just leave, as I ask you to.
[WHIMPERING]
MAN 1: Come on. This way.
MAN 2: Around the back.
MAN 1: Come on, little chicken.
[MEN LAUGHING]
Come on. Ah!
MAN 1: Come on, boys. WOMAN: Leave me alone!
MAN 2: Look at her run. Ha, ha.
MAN 3: Hey. You'll enjoy it.
MAN 1: Take her.
MAN 2: Come on, now. Easy.
CULPEPPER: Hold her still.
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
[MEN LAUGHING]
MAN 1: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! MAN 2: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
[MEN LAUGHING]
Who are you there?
ROPER: Mr. Roper, sir. The park keeper.
Mr. Roper.
What on earth do you want with me?
You know very well what I want, sir. I want justice.
I know what you done.
I have come to take you to the sheriff.
[MEN LAUGHING]
Come, sir. Don't you dare touch me.
You should know your betters.
Now go back to your pigsty.
I will go, sir, and fetch the sheriff myself,
whose justice is better than yours.
I would rather not trouble the sheriff.
How much do you want for your silence?
Come on, man.
What real harm was done?
Take a gold crown,
enough to buy a dozen pigs, and forget the whole matter.
No, sir. For the shame would still be there in my wife's eyes.
And in my soul.
Ugh!
Damn you for a fool.
SURREY: I have to say I was surprised at your invitation.
STANHOPE: Really? I had imagined that very little would surprise you, my lord.
It is true that I have seen most things in my life.
But I find that people can always be surprising.
I invited you here because I wanted to be friends.
What kind of friends?
Good friends.
Who wants to be good?
People are good when they are afraid.
[GASPING]
When they are not afraid, they can be anything.
I am not afraid.
I will never be afraid.
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
[WOMEN LAUGHING AND SCREAMING]
[HENRY CHUCKLES]
Catherine Howard.
Your Majesty.
[CHUCKLING]
WOMAN: Ech.
Ew.
My councillors are arriving.
HOWARD: Oh.
Then I'd better wash. HENRY: Yes.
[HOWARD GIGGLES]
[WOMEN GIGGLING]
[HENRY LAUGHING]
HENRY: Gentlemen. My lords.
MAN: Your Majesty.
HENRY: What is your report, my Lord Hertford?
EDWARD: Your Majesty, there was a small outbreak of plague
in the city during your absence which has now abated, thank God.
The building works Your Majesty requested have all commenced.
And the executions of Lords Grey and Lisle
of Sir John Neville and Lord Dacres
have been carried out in accordance with Your Majesty's wishes.
Mm-hm. Sit.
My lords, I refer to the 500 men kept in prison on suspicion of heresy.
It is my desire that they should be pardoned and therefore released.
[MURMURING]
Your Majesty shows remarkable charity.
Why should I not? Does our Lord not commend us
to never let mercy and faithfulness depart from us?
MAN 1: Hear, hear, Your Majesty. HENRY: How's my boy?
Prince Edward is very well, Your Majesty.
King Francis has formally proposed a marriage contract
between his son Henri, Duke of Orléans, and Lady Mary.
We do not, and cannot, trust the intentions of King Francis
and still think he means to invade this realm.
Events at Calais were just a preliminary exercise to test our resolve.
We must continue to look to our coastal defences
and favour the emperor.
Now, to the subject of Queen Catherine.
It is my intention to settle upon her all lands and manors
which formerly belonged to Jane Seymour.
Furthermore, some lands and properties
formerly in the possession of Thomas Cromwell are to be settled upon her.
Her badges and emblems are to be set up in all palaces,
replacing all others, and henceforth she is in all ways
to be treated as the queen of England.
[BOTH MOANING & GRUNTING]
HOWARD: Hush. What is it?
Listen.
[RAINING]
Can you hear that?
It's...
It's raining.
Its raining.
[LAUGHING]
Catherine? Catherine, where are you going?
Its raining. Henry.
Get up, it's raining!
[HOWARD LAUGHING]
[♪♪♪]
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHING]
[LAUGHS]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
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