Original subtitles

Captain's Log, Stardate 47254.1.

A delegation of the Cairn have just come on board.

This telepathic species has no concept of spoken language

and is being instructed in its use by... an old friend.

I don't know what they'd have done without me.

First, I had to learn how they communicate.

Well, it was an absolutely exhausting process.

It must have been.

Quite different from Betazed telepathy.

We transmit words.

With the Cairn, it's, uh... it's images...

a-a flood of them, all at the same time.

It's overwhelming.

I can imagine.

Actually, it's

a very efficient way of communicating.

If two Cairn were having this conversation

it would have been over minutes ago.

Really?

Of course, they realize

that they'll want to communicate verbally

if they join the Federation.

Oh, do me a favor.

Introduce yourself to one of them.

Engage him in conversation.

They need the practice.

I'd be happy to.

It's called a VISOR.

It enables me to see.

Like my vocal enhancer.

It helps me make sounds.

I see you've already met my star pupil.

Hedril's picked up spoken language

much faster than the others.

It is often the case that children

learn languages more easily than adults.

Deanna was quite good at languages

when she was little.

Where is Deanna?

Well, she must be here somewhere.

Hedril, darling...?

What?

Um... go find your father, dear.

I want to talk to him.

Mrs. Troi?

Oh, I'm just a little tired.

This constant telepathy with the Cairn...

Um... no, I'm...

I'm fine, really.

Aren't you going to mingle, Mr. Woof?

I do not care for telepaths.

They make me... uneasy.

Oh, don't worry.

The Cairn couldn't read your thoughts

even if they wanted to.

Your brain isn't sophisticated enough.

Neither is yours, dear.

They can only communicate with other telepaths.

Have either of you seen Deanna?

She was working, but she said she would be...

Speak of the devil.

Sorry I'm late.

I lost track of the time.

Yes, Deanna dear, come with me.

I want you to meet the senior diplomat

of the Cairn delegation.

Maques, this is the beautiful daughter

I've been telling you about, Deanna.

Pleased to...

Hello.

Hello.

Pleased to meet you.

Oh, yes... that is it.

Pleased to meet you, Deanna.

Good. Well, I'll just let you young people chat.

Well, Maques

what do you think of the Enterprise?

Oh... it is beautiful.

Comfortable, also.

I'm glad you think so.

Uh...

there is another word that describes it.

But I cannot remember.

You've learned a great deal in a very short time.

I'm sure it won't be long

before your words do justice to your thoughts.

Your mother...

told me...

of your need.

Need?

Uh, a moment.

Husband.

You need a husband.

I...

need a wife.

Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise.

Its continuing mission...

to explore strange new worlds

to seek out new life and new civilizations

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Oh, Deanna?

Oh... good morning.

So, what did you think of Maques?

Why did you do that, Mother?

You embarrassed both of us.

Oh, he's really very sweet.

And Ionely, poor man.

A widower, raising a child alone.

Mother, don't start.

I just think it's time for you to settle down

and if your father were still alive

I'm sure he'd say the same thing.

Deck eight.

But you'll do exactly what you want...

just like always.

Mother, stop it.

Are you coming?

What's wrong?

You are so precious to me.

You're all I've got.

If something happened to you I don't know what I'd do.

Nothing's going to happen to me.

You'd better go.

My first appointment isn't for a few minutes.

Why don't we talk for awhile?

No, I'm fine.

I'm just tired from working with the Cairn.

It's making me emotional.

Are you sure?

Mm-hmm. Go on.

I'll see you later.

Go on.

Maques.

I must... apologize... for yesterday.

You don't have to.

My words... they were... confused.

It wasn't your fault.

Please.

My mother misled you.

Not in everything.

She has...

an image of you

in her mind.

She shared it with me.

You are even more beautiful.

The way my people communicate

it is... direct.

Nothing is hidden.

Yes?

Your mother is the first to learn our telepathy.

You mean you've never had telepathy

with someone who wasn't Cairn?

No.

To communicate with her is... very different.

In what way?

Always, there is a part of her that... um...

a part of her that is... dark.

Dark?

A part of her that... cannot be seen.

Do you understand?

I'm not sure.

Have you asked my mother about this?

Um... she called it...

A moment.

Um... privacy.

Of course.

You said among the Cairn nothing is hidden.

We value honesty, but we don't always share

everything we're thinking and feeling.

This is... privacy?

Yes.

It is... normal?

For us, yes.

If this is your way...

I am relieved.

It is our way.

I will leave now.

I'm glad you stopped by.

I'm glad to have stopped also.

I was all set for another round of arguing

when all of a sudden, she just fell apart.

She's under a lot of stress.

She's preparing the Cairn

to meet with the Federation Council.

It's more than that.

I'm sensing some very erratic emotions from her.

Even the clothes she's wearing are unusual.

They're so subdued.

Maybe you just need

to sit and talk with her for a minute.

Commander!

Take your hands off her!

Mrs. Troi...

Don't you "Mrs. Troi" me!

Mother...

Why don't you leave her alone?

If it weren't for you, she'd be married by now!

That's enough.

Now, I am warning you...

stay away from my daughter!

You're coming with me.

Oh, I don't know what got into me.

Oh... please, tell Will how sorry I am.

You're fine

but you're psilosynine levels are a little low.

Psilo... hmm?

It's a neurotransmitter involved in telepathy.

It's been depleted by your work with the Cairn.

You're going to have to try to avoid

telepathic communication for a while.

I can't.

Why?

We only have three days left

and, uh...

oh, the Cairn have so much to learn.

Lwaxana, I'm sorry

but you're going to have to take some time and rest.

Maybe I can help with the Cairn.

No, you're only half Betazoid, dear.

And you have no experience with their form of telepathy.

Then I won't use telepathy.

We'll work verbally.

I suppose we could do that.

And if they don't understand something

I'll explain it to them telepathically.

No, you'll work verbally, too.

The point is for you to get some rest, Mother.

Besides, it'll do them good

to have to figure things out with words.

I suppose you're right.

This is the ship's arboretum.

"Arbor" means tree.

Very good, Hedril.

This is where people come to relax...

enjoy themselves in a natural setting.

"Flowers of all hue

and without thorn, the rose."

It's an old Earth poem by John Milton.

Please. What is a... poem?

Poetry is an art form that uses words

put together in new and unexpected ways

sometimes in rhyme.

Milton was speculating that in Heaven

roses wouldn't have thorns.

Heaven?

Oh.

Oh, uh...

Heaven is...

well, it's, um...

How can I put it?

Yes, I see. Thank you.

"Heaven."

Mother, you're supposed to be avoiding telepathy.

I'm only trying to help, dear.

You don't look well.

I'm just tired.

Maybe I'll sit down.

Don't worry. She'll be fine.

This is something I think you'll find interesting.

It's a jewel plant from Folnar III.

The plant secretes a resin...

...which is collected within the blossom.

By the time the bloom has faded

the resin has hardened into a rare and beautiful gem.

Mother!

Mother...

Troi to Sick Bay.

Medical emergency in the arboretum.

She's not responding to cortical stimulation.

I'm not sure what else I can do.

I don't understand.

She was fine just yesterday.

It's so strange.

It's almost as if her brain has shut itself down.

Is there a physiological cause?

I'm running a subneural scan.

As far as I can see there's no tissue damage

no neurochemical imbalance

no sign of infection, nothing.

Yet her neural activity is practically nonexistent.

The only exception is in the paracortex.

Activity there is almost off the scale.

The paracortex is the Betazoid telepathic lobe.

She communicated with Maques telepathically

just before she fell.

Might there be some side effects

of Cairn telepathy of which we're unaware?

It's a possibility.

I think it's time

that you and I had a talk with Maques.

I am very...

apologetic

for what has happened to your mother.

Maques, is it possible

that your telepathic communications

with Mrs. Troi harmed her in some way?

No, I tried to... to explain before.

Bad thoughts...

they hurt her.

What thoughts?

Take your time.

Inside her.

The... dark place.

I don't understand.

She is... um...

What are the words?

I don't have the words.

Counselor?

Stop it.

It's all right.

I'm fine.

He was just trying

to communicate with me telepathically.

Do you understand now?

I'm not sure.

He communicated so much to me

that, at first, it was just a jumble of images.

Have you been able to sort any of it out?

I think so.

During his telepathic contact with my mother

Maques sensed what he calls "a dark place."

He tried to tell me about it before

in my office, and I misunderstood.

I thought he was talking

about thoughts my mother was keeping private

but what he meant was that there

was something happening in her metaconscious mind.

Metaconscious?

It's part of the Betazoid psyche.

It's a kind of filtering mechanism

that protects us from psychic trauma.

Is Maques suggesting that your mother's metaconscious

has been somehow damaged?

He feels that whatever is wrong with her is centered there.

If he's right, it may mean

that she's suffered some kind of trauma

that her metaconscious just can't tolerate.

Has your mother mentioned anything

that happened to her lately?

Something that might have been traumatic for her?

No, nothing.

Maques could be wrong about this.

There's still a chance that a subneural scan

might be able to pinpoint a physiological cause

for your mother's condition

something that I might be able to treat.

The results won't be in until morning.

Maybe we should all try and get some rest.

I'd like to stay here with her.

I'm going to try and contact her

telepathically.

All right.

Mother? Can you hear me?

Please come back to me.

Please.

Help me...

Mother?

Help... me.

How?

How can I help you?

Tell me, Mother.

Please.

Computer, lights.

What are you doing?

Maques, what were you doing in Sick Bay?

Helping.

Trying... to help Lwaxana.

How? What were you trying to do?

I was...

She was...

You, Deanna.

Maybe you.

Yes?

You must...

How can I explain?

Tell me telepathically.

Maques believes

my mother's psyche has collapsed in on itself...

that for some reason

she has retreated into her metaconscious mind.

Was he trying to contact her telepathically?

Yes. He was able to access images

being generated by her metaconscious

but he couldn't make any sense of them.

I did not... understand.

He saw faces he didn't recognize

events he couldn't interpret.

If we could decipher these images

we might be able to determine

whether or not your mother's condition

was induced by a traumatic event.

Maques feels he can provide a telepathic bridge

that would allow me to access my mother's metaconscious.

If he can, I might be able

to find out what happened to her.

And if you succeed, can you use that information

to help your mother?

I'm not sure

but I do know that there's a part of her

that wants to be helped.

When I tried to contact her telepathically

I heard a voice calling out to me.

If your mother's psyche has collapsed in on itself

could accessing her mind pose any danger to you?

There's no way to know.

I'd like to try.

I'll be monitoring her throughout the entire procedure.

If anything goes wrong

Maques can break the telepathic link.

Your mother, part of her is very frightened.

She may... resist you.

I understand.

Help me.

Mother?

Help me.

Counselor, can you hear me?

Captain?

Deanna, Dr. Crusher has become concerned

that your paracortical readings have become erratic.

Are you talking to me from Sick Bay?

Yes. I want you to sever your connection to your mother.

Why don't you ask Maques to do it?

I'm asking you.

That is an order, Counselor.

You're not Captain Picard.

Leave me alone, please.

This isn't real.

None of this is real.

Deanna?

Daddy?

Look at you.

You've become a beautiful woman.

Don't do this.

I'm sorry I had to go away when you were so little.

I didn't want to.

You're not my father.

You're part of my mother's mind.

What is this place?

This is our house near Lake EI'nar on Betazed.

We used to live here.

Deanna, let's not waste this chance.

I want to hear everything about you.

Did I live here?

For a while, when you were a baby.

You were such a beautiful baby.

Your mother and I loved you so much.

I don't remember these toys.

I bet you don't remember me

singing you to sleep at night either, but I did.

I do remember.

I always felt safe when you sang to me.

There was one song you always asked me to sing.

You couldn't fall asleep unless you heard it.

"Down in the Valley."

Yes.

? Down in the valley?

? Valley so low?

? Hang your head over?

? Hear the wind blow...?

No. You're just trying to keep me here...

keep me from finding something.

Your mother doesn't want to see you, Deanna.

I have to help her.

If you want to help her, leave.

Let her have peace.

She called out to me.

She does want me to help.

Stay with me... just a little while.

Deanna, it's been so long.

We'll never have this chance again.

Good-bye, Daddy.

Hedril.

Mother.

Get away from here!

No!

Hedril, I asked your father to bring you here

because I wanted to talk to you about something.

You know that Lwaxana is sick, don't you?

Yes. Is it my fault?

No, not at all.

But I believe that she's been thinking about you.

Do you know why?

I make her sad.

Why do you say that?

Because it's true.

Do you have any idea why Hedril would make my mother sad?

No.

Well, thank you for coming to talk to us.

I'll see you later, all right?

Counselor, I hope your mother gets better.

Thank you, Hedril.

So do I.

I just don't understand how she fits into all this.

And I haven't found a physiological cause

for what's happened to your mother...

which makes me feel that Maques was right

when he said your mother's condition

was precipitated by a traumatic event.

Could this event have involved Hedril?

I don't think so.

My mother never mentioned her.

Does your mother keep personal logs or a journal?

Yes, she does.

I'll contact Mr. Homn on Betazed and ask him to transmit a copy

as soon as possible.

There may be some clues there.

Perhaps we are being too literal.

I have recently learned in my study of dream analysis

that people who appear in a dream

can sometimes represent different aspects

of the person who is dreaming.

That's right!

A child might represent vulnerability.

Hedril may depict some fragile part of my mother.

The part that she's protecting.

You said that everything you encountered

when you were in her mind

was a barrier of one kind or another.

Yes... you, the wolf, my father...

It was as though

she were summoning all her defenses to keep me away.

But keep me away from what?

What is she protecting?

Come in.

Counselor.

Hello, Captain.

I've just come from Sick Bay.

Dr. Crusher feels

that your mother's condition is worsening.

Her neural foundations are getting weaker.

Have you had any luck here?

No, nothing.

I've gone through all her belongings.

I've read her journal for the last five years.

And, other than the fact that I'm not married yet

nothing bad seems to have happened to her.

Is this your father?

Yes.

He had a kind face.

I remember when he died

my mother had to go through all his things

and pack them away.

I was seven.

I remember thinking how mad he'd be

when he came home and saw what she'd done.

I didn't understand he wasn't coming back.

Deanna, your mother might still come out of this.

If we can't figure out what's wrong with her, Captain

I don't think she will.

But I don't know what else to do.

I've talked with Mr. Homn, who's known her for years.

I've checked her medical records.

I've made inquiries to the government on Betazed.

I've contacted her closest friends.

If she's been through some kind of psychic trauma

there's just no evidence of it.

You say that you've reviewed her journals

for the past five years.

Maybe we should go further back.

That's a lot to review.

My mother's kept a journal since before she was married.

Then let's start at the beginning.

First entry seems to be Stardate 30620.1.

That's the year they were married.

Hmm. That's odd.

There's a seven-year gap.

It starts about a year after the wedding.

If I'm not mistaken, it ends a few months after your birth.

My mother's so diligent about her journal.

Why would she have stopped making entries for so long?

She didn't.

The files were deleted...

by your mother

almost 30 years ago.

I don't understand any of this.

Captain, I have to go back inside my mother's mind.

It's the only way we're ever going to get any answers.

Thank you.

Deanna, you understand

that if your paracortical readings get too high again

I'm going to tell Maques to sever the connection?

I know.

Hedril, be careful!

Who is Hedril?

Wait!

I want to talk to you.

Help me.

Help me!

Go.

Mother?

Go away.

No.

I want to help you.

Why did you delete parts of your journal?

Did something happen to you you don't want me to know about?

Leave me alone, please.

Who's Hedril, mother?

Why is she here?

Is Hedril me, when I was a little girl?

No.

Oh, no.

I'd never let anything happen to you, never.

Did you let something happen to someone?

Was it here, at EI'nar?

You were just a baby.

Tell me.

Whatever it is, we can face it together.

I can't, I can't.

You can.

We can.

Help me.

Help me, Papa.

Here.

Please, don't make me go through this again.

Now hold on to him.

Don't let him run off.

I will.

Mommy, can we go play by the water?

No, Kestra, stay here with us.

Please.

Kestra.

Oh, Kestra, you've made the baby cry.

Kestra?

No, don't cry, Deanna.

Don't cry. Mommy's here.

Mommy, please.

No, Kestra.

We're going to eat in just a few minutes.

Here, what's wrong?

What's wrong, Little One?

Tell Mommy what's wrong.

Oh, lan.

Lan, she's teething.

Uh, where's her ring?

No, no, I don't want to see this again.

I can't.

What happened, Mother?

What happened next?

I don't remember.

You have to.

You can't hold it back.

It's killing you.

The dog got away.

She ran after it.

We didn't notice.

Oh, why?

Why did I look away?

Why wasn't I paying attention?

You have to forgive yourself, Mother.

You have to let it go.

How can I?

I let her die.

It was a terrible tragedy...

the worst thing that can happen to any parent.

I know you feel responsible, but it was an accident.

And what you're doing isn't fair to Kestra.

I saw

a little girl who was sweet and happy.

She must have brought a great deal of joy

to your lives.

Every morning, she woke up with... with a smile.

Isn't it better to remember her like that?

I just found out I had a sister I never knew.

I'd like to learn what was good and joyous about her

to celebrate her life, not mourn it.

How?

How can I do that?

Kestra was here a few moments ago.

Talk to her.

No. No.

Do it, Mother.

Tell her how you feel.

I'll be here with you.

I'll help you.

Mommy.

Kestra.

Oh, Kestra.

My precious one.

I'm so sorry.

I have to go now.

I know.

I know.

I remember the day I took this.

Mr. Homn said he saved it

in case someday you wanted to remember her.

I wish you could have known her, Deanna.

I wish you two could have grown up together.

Tell me about her.

I want to know everything.